I'm Always Looking on the Bright Side and the Backside

I've written about the breast implant indicator before, which says that cosmetic surgeries like breast implants decrease during bad economic times.

2009 was a rough year for boob jobs, but breast augmentation beat out liposuction as the most popular surgical procedure for the second year in a row. Breast augmentations numbered 311,957 last year, down 12% from 2008; liposuctions numbered 283,735, down 17%.



Two surgeries are surging in popularity. Buttock lifts, which involve reshaping of the bottom, increased 25% to 3,024 procedures, and buttock augmentations increased 37%, to 4,996.

Can't Even Afford to Cry in Our Beer

The nation's top brewers plan to raise prices this fall.

Anheuser-Busch and MillerCoors both say they're going to raise prices.

Anheuser-Busch said in a statement it plans on raising prices on a majority of its volume in the bulk of its markets this fall to cover some increases in its costs.

Sales of Miller Lite -- MillerCoors' flagship -- and Bud Light -- the top brand for Anheuser-Busch -- have both been suffering amid the recession.

Prices across all beers, however, have been rising. In 2008 the price of beer, ale, and other malt beverages sold for at-home consumption rose 5.3 percent, according to the government's Consumer Price Index. As of July, prices on those same items were 4.6 percent higher than they were a year ago.

They Always Blame the Jews

As a lover of good ethnic jokes I normally don't blink an eye when people make fun of jews for having big noses or overbearing mothers. Even cheap Jew jokes can make me laugh. But I often remind the teller the basis of those jokes is also the basis for the Holocaust. Throughout times Jews have always been targeted during times of economic distress. And now is no different. Ira Stoll writes a great piece in the Wall Street Journal about it:

"Walking down the street in my solidly upper-middle-class New York City neighborhood the other day was a neatly dressed man angrily cursing into his cell phone about "Jew Wall Street bankers."

I was headed in the opposite direction and didn't stop to interview him about his particular grievances, but the brief encounter crystallized for me a foreboding that the financial crisis may trigger a new outbreak of anti-Semitism.

It is a fear that is being articulated ever more widely. President Bill Clinton's secretary of labor, Robert Reich, frets on his blog, "History shows how effective demagogic ravings can be when a public is stressed economically." He warns that Jews, along with gays and blacks, could become victims of populist rage.

In the New York Jewish Week newspaper, a column by Rabbi Ronald Price of the Union for Traditional Judaism begins, "In the 1930s, as Germany's economy collapsed, the finger was pointed at the Jews and the Nazis ascended to power. The famous Dreyfus Affair, in which a Jew was falsely accused of treason in France, followed on the heels of economic turmoil."

At this juncture, the trepidation may yet seem like paranoia, or special pleading akin to the old joke about the newspaper headline, "World Ends in Nuclear Attack: Poor, Minorities Hardest Hit." Everyone is feeling the brunt of the recession; why worry about the Jews in particular? After all, Jews today have two refuges: Israel and America, a land where Jews have attained remarkable power and prosperity and have a constitutionally protected right to exercise their religion freely. In that case, why worry about potential danger to the Jews at all?

One answer is that the historical precedents are exceedingly grim. The causes of the First Crusade, in which thousands of Jews were murdered, are still being debated, but some historians link it to famine and a poor harvest in 1095. As for the expulsion of the Jews from Spain in 1492, the foremost historian of its causes, Benzion Netanyahu (the father of Israel's new prime minister), writes of the desire of the persecutors "to get rid of their debts by getting rid of their creditors." More generally, he writes, "it is an iron-clad rule in the history of group relations: the majority's toleration of every minority lessens with the worsening of the majority's condition."

Lest this seem overly crude economic determinism, consider that the Jews have been victims not only of unrest prompted by economic distress but of attempts to remedy such economic distress with socialism. Take it from Friedrich Hayek, the late Nobel Prize winning Austrian economist. In "The Road to Serfdom," Hayek wrote, "In Germany and Austria the Jew had come to be regarded as the representative of Capitalism." Thus, the response in those countries, National Socialism, was an attack on both capitalism and the Jews.

There are ample indicators of current anti-Semitic attitudes. A poll conducted recently in Europe by the Anti-Defamation League found 74% of Spaniards believe Jews "have too much power in international financial markets," while 67% of Hungarians believe Jews "have too much power in the business world." Here in America, the Web site of National Journal is hosting an "expert blog" by former CIA official Michael Scheuer, now a professor at Georgetown, complaining of a "fifth column of pro-Israel U.S. citizens" who are "unquestionably enemies of America's republican experiment." And over at Yahoo! Finance, the message board discussing Goldman Sachs is rife with comments about "Jew pigs" and the "Zionist Federal Reserve."

So will the Jews come under attack? The existence of the Jewish state guarantees refuge for Jews around the world, but it carries with it its own risks. Hezbollah's leader, Hassan Nasrallah, has said that if the Jews "all gather in Israel, it will save us the trouble of going after them world-wide." It's a comment all the more chilling as Nasrallah's Iranian sponsors are on the brink of making a nuclear bomb.

As for the idea that Jewish professional, political, and economic success in America is a guarantee of security, that, too, has its risks. As Yuri Sleskine recounted in his book "The Jewish Century," in 1900 Vienna more than half of the lawyers, doctors and professional journalists were Jewish, as were 70% of the members of the stock exchange. In Germany, after World War I but before the Nazis came to power, Jews served as finance minister and as foreign minister. Such achievements have a way of being fleeting.

It may yet be that the Jews escape the current economic crisis having only lost fortunes. But if not, there will have been no lack of warning about the threat. When Jews gather Wednesday night for the Passover Seder, we will recite the words from the Hagadah, the book that relays the Israelite exodus from slavery in Egypt: "In every generation they rise up against us to destroy us." This year, they will resonate all the more ominously."

Those Who Forget the Past Are Doomed to Repeat It

"He is doing a terrific job."
-President Obama describing Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner

"Heckuva job Brownie."
-President Bush describing FEMA Managing Director Michael Brown

Both men were terribly mishandling the worst crises (natural disaster and economic) to hit this country in many years, and both Presidents were standing by their man.

From Jobless to Topless

Another groundbreaking economic investigation from the Associated Press.
I present it here in its entirety because it's good reading:

More women needing cash go from jobless to topless
By Karen Hawkins, Associated Press Writer
From jobless to topless: As economy worsens, more women give strip clubs, adult films a try

CHICAGO (AP) -- As a bartender and trainer at a national restaurant chain, Rebecca Brown earned a couple thousand dollars in a really good week. Now, as a dancer at Chicago's Pink Monkey gentleman's club, she makes almost that much in one good night.
The tough job market is prompting a growing number of women across the country to dance in strip clubs, appear in adult movies or pose for magazines like Hustler.

Employers across the adult entertainment industry say they're seeing an influx of applications from women who, like Brown, are attracted by the promise of flexible schedules and fast cash. Many have college degrees and held white-collar jobs until the economy soured.

"You're seeing a lot more beautiful women who are eligible to do so many other things," said Gus Poulos, general manager of New York City's Sin City gentleman's club. He said he got 85 responses in just one day to a recent job posting on Craigslist.

The transition to the nightclub scene isn't always a smooth one -- from learning to dance in five-inch heels to dealing with the jeers of some customers.

Some performers said they were initially so nervous that only alcohol could calm their nerves.

"It is like giving a speech, but instead of imagining everyone naked, you're the one who's naked," Brown, 29, said.

Eva Stone, a 25-year-old dancer at the Pink Monkey, said dealing with occasional verbal abuse from patrons requires "a thick skin."

Makers of adult films cautioned that women shouldn't rush into the decision to make adult movies without considering the effect on their lives.

"Once you decide to be an adult actress, it impacts your relationship with everyone," said Steven Hirsch, co-chairman of adult film giant Vivid Entertainment Group. "Once you make an adult film, it never goes away."

The women at the Pink Monkey say dancing at a strip club might not have been their first career choice, but they entered the business with their eyes wide open. The job gives them more control and flexibility than sitting in a cubicle, and "it's easy, it's fun and all of us girls ... look out for each other," Brown said.

In this economy, "desperate measures are becoming far more acceptable," said Jonathan Alpert, a New York City-based psychotherapist who's had clients who worked in adult entertainment.

For some, dancing is temporary, a way to pay for college loans or other bills. Others say they've found their niche.

Dancers at the upscale Rick's Caberet clubs in New York City and Miami can make $100,000 to $300,000 a year -- in cash -- even with the economic downturn, club spokesman Allan Priaulx said.

Priaulx said 20 to 30 women a week are applying for jobs at the New York club, double the number of a year ago.

Still, analysts say, the industry isn't immune to the economic recession. Business is down an estimated 30 percent across all segments, including adult films, gentleman's clubs, magazines and novelty shops, said Paul Fishbein, president of AVN Media Network, an adult entertainment company that has a widely distributed trade publication and an award show.

"In the past, people have said this industry is recession-proof," said Eric Wold, director of research for financial services firm Merriman Curhan Ford. "I definitely don't see that; maybe recession-resistant."

Strip club dancers and managers said they're drawing in the same number of customers, but fewer high rollers.

"They're not getting the big spenders," said Angelina Spencer, executive director of the Association of Club Executives, a trade group for adult nightclubs. "They're not getting the guys who come in and drop $3,000 to $4,000 a night anymore."

Still, the clubs' operating structure leaves them with low overhead and profit margins of up to 50 percent, Wold said.

Dancers are independent contractors, paying clubs a nightly flat fee depending on how long they work. At the Pink Monkey, for example, dancers who arrive at 7 p.m. Sunday through Thursday pay a $40 "house fee," while women who don't arrive until midnight pay $90. And they keep their tips.

Wold and others say it's almost impossible to estimate the size of the adult entertainment industry because few companies are publicly traded. He does pay close attention to three that are: Lakewood, Colo.-based VCG Holding and Houston-based Rick's Caberet, which own clubs, and New Frontier Media, a Boulder, Colo.-based adult film producer and distributor.

All three are profitable.

Rick's Caberet had $60 million in revenue in its 2008 fiscal year, up from $32 million the year before, Wold said, and he estimates VCG will have $57 million for last year, compared with $40.5 million in FY2007. New Frontier Media generates more than $400 million in consumer buying a year.

Larry Flynt, whose half-billion dollar Hustler empire publishes magazines, produces and distributes films and operates a casino, said he's continued to do well. But he doesn't expect those who are solely in the film business to survive.

"A lot of the small studios are out of business now, there's no doubt about that," Flynt said.

Adult magazines also are struggling along with the larger publishing industry, and have to cut pages like everyone else.

But the economic realities aren't keeping jobseekers away.

Vivid Entertainment's Hirsch said the number of women in his business has doubled in the last couple years, with roughly 800 working as adult actresses. "It is more competitive than I've seen it in 25 years," he said.

That doesn't mean all the newcomers are planning on lengthy careers in the industry.

Stone, who has a bachelor's degree in graphic design, took up dancing four years ago to help pay her student loans. She plans to go to graduate school this year to pursue a master's in education.

Brown, meanwhile, has a ready answer for those critical of her career choice.

"I have job security," she said.

There's No Sex in the Champagne Room, There's Job Interviews in the Champagne Room, But No Sex

The Foxy Lady in Providence is where I went for my bachelor party.



Nearly 200 potential exotic dancers, DJs, bartenders, bouncers, managers and waitresses attended a first-ever job fair yesterday at the Foxy Lady gentlemen’s club.

In January, with revenues off by 15 percent, Thomas Tsoumas, the nightclub’s co-owner, cut drink prices in half. As a result, traffic increased and 30 more staff are needed at that club and two others in Massachusetts.

“We’re as recession-proof a business as there is, but when it rains everyone gets wet,” said Tsoumas, 68. “We dropped our prices to what they were when we opened in 1979. Now, a beer or a mixed drink cost about $2.75 and business is up again.

With an unemployment rate of 10.3 percent, the naked truth is that Rhode Island’s economy is among the worst in the nation. As a result, potential employees lined up early and were brought into one of several makeshift interview rooms including the Champagne VIP Lounge, the All-Nude Solid Gold Room and the Private Dance Cabana.

Chamika Chandler, a stay-at-home mom from Cranston, R.I., said she’s an aspiring designer who creates exotic dancewear and hopes to get a start in the club as a bartender.

“If I can get my foot in the door tending bar, maybe I’ll get a chance to show my designs to the dancers,” said the redhead in a short green and blue dress.

Chandler has been job hunting for months, but has found that applicants need lots of experience. “I figured I had nothing to lose at the Foxy Lady,” she said. “I’m sure there are a lot of uptight girls that wouldn’t consider a strip club, so here I am.”

Diana Hatch, a 30-year-old single mother from Woonsocket, R.I., was there to fill one of the waitress spots. The Rhode Island College student was one of a handful of hopefuls with nightclub training.

“I worked as a waitress at a gentleman’s club in Texas, and I know what the job entails,” she said.

Steven Mangum, 29, was one of the first to arrive for the job fair. The Providence resident and ex-con wants a job - any job.

“I’ll sweep floors if they want me to,” he said. “I got bills to pay and I recently got out of jail so having a job is important to me.”

Nathaniel Grist, who works at the Woonsocket Area Career and Technical Center, said he’s hoping to land a part-time and summer gig at the Foxy Lady.

“I was a DJ at my college radio station, and I’m trying to get more experience,” he said.

Asked if he had any concerns about working in a place where women remove their clothes, he said, “This is just another place to work, you go in and do your job.”

While most of the applicants were in their late teens and 20s, not everyone fit that demographic.

Karen Bradner, a 50-something office worker from Taunton, who has been unemployed for a year, also filled out an application.

“Today was my first and only time in a strip club,” she said. “And I wasn’t there to be a stripper or a waitress. I was hoping to get an office job, but there are no openings. It’s really dead out there job-wise. I hope things turn around soon.”

Liquidation Sales are a Scam

With 200,000 retail stores expected to close in the next few years, I think I should warn Poopheads about liquidation sales.
The stores lure shoppers in with advertisements saying things like "25% off," "50% off" and "everything must go."
Truth is, you're unlikely to find a good deal on anything you want at a liquidation sale.
Here's why:
Most stores always sell items at prices lower than the suggested retail price. But before the liquidation sale starts, they mark everything up to full value, then take the discount. Just for argument's sake (I'll give a concrete example later), let's say Best Buy sells a $300 TV for $250. Now Circuit City is selling the same TV for 25% off, off $300. That means $225. Is $25 enough incentive to buy a TV?
And since liquidation sales can last months, the real deep discounting doesn't begin until the last few weeks.
By that time, just about everything worth having is already gone.

Other disadvantages include no returns, poor customer service and sometimes cash only. Manufacturer's warranties are still good however.

But despite all this I had to check it out for myself so I went to Circuit City. I checked out the TVs and DVDs, then went to Best Buy to comparison shop. On the way back to Circuit City Chase fell asleep so I had to go home.
But I took Chase back a couple days later and realized that the TVs from the name brands (Sony, LG) were basically the same price in both stores.
The TVs that were really cut-rate were brands I'd never heard of.
They did have some good DVDs on sale, but after the markup, the prices weren't significantly lower.
For instance, I bought "The Express" and "Horton Hears a Hoo." Both movies were $19.99 at Best Buy, and $21.99 at Circuit City.

About a month after that shopping trip, Circuit City announced a deeper price cut.
But by the time we had a chance to go back, the store was decimated. There were still a few large TVs by major brands, but even at 40% discounts they were still mostly priced within the range you could buy them for anytime at Best Buy, Wal-Mart or Target.

Still Rooting for Polo Grounds, Where's Ralph Lauren At?

From this morning's Wall Street Journal:

"Citigroup Inc., eager to quell the controversy over how lenders are using government bailout money, is exploring the possibility of backing out of a nearly $400 million marketing deal with the New York Mets, say people familiar with the matter.

Officials at Citigroup have made no final decision about whether to try to void the 20-year agreement, which includes naming the Mets' new baseball stadium after the bank, say these people.

In a statement Monday, Citigroup said that "no TARP capital will be used" for the stadium -- referring to government funds from the Troubled Asset Relief Program. But as it revisits the pact, Citigroup is essentially acknowledging that the volatile political climate could make it untenable for the bank to proceed with the deal.

The Mets deal was attacked last week as an example of misplaced spending by financial institutions that needed bailout funds. Reps. Dennis Kucinich (D., Ohio) and Ted Poe (R., Texas) wrote to Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner on Wednesday, asking him to push Citigroup to dissolve the Mets deal.

"Citigroup is now dependent on the support of the federal government for its survival as an institution," the letter said. "As such, we do not believe Citigroup ought to spend $400 million to name a stadium at the same time that they accept over $350 billion in taxpayer support and guarantees."

A re-examination of the Mets deal comes just days after President Barack Obama called it "shameful" that Wall Street firms doled out billions of dollars in bonuses even as Washington was spending taxpayer dollars to help bail them out. The Treasury Department hasn't been pushing the bank to break the contract, according to people with knowledge of the government's stance.

Anger also is rising over signs that the massive capital infusion to U.S. banks hasn't resulted in a surge in lending. In a survey of banks released Monday, the Federal Reserve said about two-thirds of banks' loan officers reported that they tightened terms for business loans over the past three months.

Under terms of the Mets deal, Citigroup has the right to plaster its name and logo around the arena, dubbed Citi Field, which is largely built and set to open in April in the New York City borough of Queens.

Citigroup's contract with the Mets calls for the bank to pay the team roughly $20 million a year over two decades. The arrangement helped cover the costs of building Citi Field because it served as an asset the Mets could tout as they tried to lure private capital. While the Mets didn't receive direct taxpayer financing for the ballpark, the team did benefit from free land, infrastructure investments and tax-free bonds from the city government. Citigroup underwrote more than $600 million in bonds for the stadium.

If Citigroup backs out of its agreement with the Mets, it likely wouldn't happen immediately and could involve the bank paying a breakup penalty to the Mets, people familiar with the situation said.

"The Mets are fully committed to our contract with Citi," said Mets spokesman Jay Horwitz.

A Citigroup spokesman said the bank "signed a legally binding agreement with the New York Mets in 2006."

Within Citigroup, some officials believe the company should try to void the Mets pact in order to distance itself from unnecessary controversy. But other executives argue that trying to wiggle out of the contract will set a bad precedent. "If we cave for political reasons, it will have enormous implications for our ability to contract with third parties," said an executive who has been briefed on the discussions.

When Citigroup and the Mets unveiled their pact in 2006, it was the richest naming-rights deal in baseball. Top executives including then-Chief Executive Charles Prince and Lewis Kaden, the Citigroup vice chairman who negotiated the deal, attended a groundbreaking ceremony with Mets players and officials.

Citigroup has a number of other sports-marketing arrangements. Last month, it was the main sponsor of college football's Rose Bowl game. The company is sponsoring the 2010 national championship game. Citibank Park, which opened in 2000 in Central Islip, N.Y., is home to the Long Island Ducks minor-league baseball team.

This would suck if the Mets had to change the name of the stadium before they ever played a game there. It would cost millions to reproduce and recreate all the promotional merchandise and memorabilia. But here's the catch: as long as Citigroup is operating normally, I don't think they can legally back out of the deal. Not without at least paying the Mets a substantial breakup fee for their troubles. But if Citigroup declares bankruptcy, that could change this significantly. I think if this Citi deal falls through the Mets should call it Shea Stadium for two years and wait for the economy to turn around before looking for a new sponsor.

Tip of the Iceberg

Check out this list of job cuts announced by major companies so far this year.
It's absolutely staggering, and it's only been 4 weeks.
Monday alone companies cut 71,000 jobs.
Note: Unless you have 20/10 vision you will have to click on the image to read it.

The Tip of the Iceberg

I recently had a discussion with Master Bates about the coming Global Economic Depression. I offered the closure of 155 Circuit City Stores as evidence (they've since declared for bankruptcy).
He replied that he doesn't shop at Circuit City.
So I offered to e-mail him when Best Buy closes stores.
That hasn't happened yet, but here's what Best Buy thinks about the current economic situation.

"Best Buy cut its full-year profit forecast, citing continued weakness in consumer spending that it says has been exacerbated by the 'recent turmoil in the financial markets.'
'In 42 years of retailing, we've never seen such difficult times for the consumer,' Brian Dunn, president and chief operating officer of Best Buy, said in a statement. 'People are making dramatic changes in how much they spend, and we're not immune from those forces.'"

I guess you could say that DVDs of all the seasons of "Full House" and 60-inch flat screen TVs are quite reasonably the first things to go when times get tough. But I honestly believe this is a warning shot for what's about to happen to consumer spending.
The fact is, millions of people are going to lose their jobs, and many more will suffer sharp drops in their income. Even those who are unaffected financially, will be a little scared and spend less, thereby continuing the vicious cycle of the financial crisis.
And in other countries, it's going to be even worse.

Note: this post was written before I lost my job. How's that for irony.

Bigots Guide to the Financial Crisis

How Blacks, Gays and Jews are responsible for the Mortgage Meltdown That Led to the Current Global Economic Crisis

The Blacks
Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were sponsored by the government because their main purpose was to back loans to low-income, minority home owners. They didn't actually make the loans, but they bought them from those mortgage companies that did. In 1999, the Clinton Administration pressured Fannie and Freddie to loosen their standards and buy more loans made to black people. This seems like a good idea, because home ownership is the best way to build wealth, which if done on a large scale can be a great way to lift up an impoverished people, in this case the measure was targeted directly to black people. Making this seem like an even more essential thing for the government to do, various studies showed white families had a much easier time getting loans (and for better terms) than black people of similar creditworthiness.
But as the government was pressuring Fannie Mae to be more liberal in its lending practices, something else was happening. The housing market was going crazy. Everyone wanted to be a mortgage lender, money was easy to get. And subprime mortgages were great too. With so many traditional lenders willing to offer subprime mortgages to borrowers with bad credit, Fannie Mae was forced to lend even further down the creditworthiness scale.
But when the housing market started to slow, the economy started to weaken, and inflation soared, mostly due to gas prices, that's when the foreclosures started. And that's when these policies to give more homes to black people started to backfire.

The Gays
Barney Frank, the openly gay Congressman from Massachusetts, was in a relationship with Fannie Mae executive Herb Moses, until 1998. Frank's personal life is his own business, but at the time he was serving on the House Banking Committee which was charged with overseeing Fannie. Moses was involved in pushing for deregulation, and coincidentally, so was Frank. Now that doesn't mean that Frank held up any legislation that would have stopped this whole mess, but it does mean he had an obvious conflict of interest. I sincerely doubt that the relationship would have been ignored if it were a straight Congressman's wife working for Fannie. But no one wanted to seem politically incorrect by raising the issue about two gay men.

The Jews
Many of these same banks, brokerages and mortgage lenders which are failing now where making millions, even billions, and handing out huge bonuses just a couple years ago. And we all know the banks are run by the Jews. So how did they make all this money? In a lot of cases it came from offering people mortgages they couldn't afford and shouldn't have been given. This ranged from simply giving people $50,000 more than they normally would have been able to borrow (thereby increasing their credit risk and thusly their interest rate) or approving people who never should have been approved in the first place (once again, subprime loans make more money for the banks, if they are paid off) or misleading borrowers about the terms of their loans (many claim not to have understood their eventual rate adjustment) or offering irresponsible (no money down, zero interest loans) or downright dishonest (the option ARM) mortgage products. While I'm big on personal responsibilty (ultimately it's up to the borrower to make sure he isn't get bilked, misled or overextended) but that doesn't excuse the dishonesty of telling someone they can afford a home they really can't.

Note: What you just read contains a lot of truth. The way it is being presented is purposely skewed to put the blame on the blacks, gays and Jews. Don't get offended. It's just an interesting, unusual way to tell the story. But I hope it helped you understand the mortgage crisis a little better.