Frivolous Lawsuits Are Hot

Paris Hilton is suing Hallmark because the company used her face and catchphrase "that's hot" (which she trademarked) on a greeting card. She's suing for $100,000 in damages and sales of the cards.
She claims this is unauthorized commercial use of her name, likeness and trademark.
Hallmark claims this is parody.
I wonder if the precedent set when Michael Buffer controlled the use of "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" will be cited in this case.

What Were You Watching?

CNN's "hard news" rep took a hit, but Paris Hilton brought in the viewers, as her exclusive tell-all with Larry King drew 3.2 million viewers -- more than triple King's regular average.
Ratings for the Paris edition of "Larry King Live" exceeded those for CNN's last two presidential debates. CNN drew 2.78 million for its debate between the Democratic contenders and 2.05 million for its Republican debate, earlier in June.

CNN got the interview after the major networks backed out. Barbara Walters thought she had the deal sealed for 20/20 by offering $100,000 which it billed as a reasonable license fee for family photos and videos.
Then NBC offered a million dollars, and Walters got pissed at the Hiltons for reneging, so she outed them. Both networks were embarrassed and Paris fell into Larry's lap.

The show was King's highest-rated since 2005 but only his 53rd highest-rated in 10 years at CNN, according to Nielsen Media Research. Some 1.4 million adults 25-54 demo tuned in for Hilton, more than three times King's regular average.

CNN exhaustively promoted the interview even analyzing it afterwards on Anderson Cooper 360. Ironically, the man referred to as the "Paris Hilton of news" refuses to talk about Paris, often called her "she who must not be named" and "the heiress." But he caved to network pressure Wednesday.

I saw the interview, I thought it was interesting. Paris was giving scripted answers and not totally taking responsibility for her actions. She said she got a raw deal, she's never used drugs, she had one drink the night of her DUI, her lawyer told her she could drive to work and she read the Bible a lot in prison. But when Larry pressed her for her favorite verse she didn't have an answer. Presumably it's like asking to decide which pair of shoes she loves most.

But she wasn't the ditzy airhead I expected, she had some real substantial things to say and I can only hope that she has realized how unfulfilling her previous lifestyle was and that she is true to her word and decides to become a more serious person who can affect positive change on our society.

What Do Paris and Juice Have in Common?

Paris Hilton suffers from extreme Attention Deficit Disorder which may have triggered the Sheriff's decision to spring her from Lynwood Jail last week.

Hilton is taking Adderall for her ADD.

Reports that she was not given her meds and that's responsible for her breakdowns in jail are false. Adderall helps people focus and communicate. It is not a mood stabilizer.

Back to the Hoosegow

A tearful Paris Hilton was dragged from the courtroom and taken back to jail after the judge who sentenced her didn't but the Sheriff's Department excused that she was "reassigned" to house arrest because of "medical reasons." I'm not sure who's dick she sucked, or how much she paid to get out, but the judge says he is the one who decides the sentences. I don't feel bad for Paris, she probably needs to learn this lesson but at this point I think she is getting treated too harshly, and that people are trying to make a name for themselves in this case. According to most sources people with her same offense seldom serve any jail time at all. She'll be headed back to prison to finish her sentence, I think she's still going to do only the 23 days the judge reduced her too. But apparently in prison she had been crying all the time, was in severe depression and was released due to mental health reasons after two extensive visits with a psychologist. I hope she can toughen up and serve her time with dignity and grace like Martha Stewart.

Paris Comes Home

Paris Hilton has been released from prison after serving only 3 days of her 23 day (shortened from 45) sentence.
She'll be under house arrest for the next 40 days.
She's been fitted with an ankle bracelet.
Sheriff's Department spokesman says Paris had a medical condition which could not be disclosed to protect her right to privacy.

Paris in Prison

Paris Hilton has checked into an LA County Jail where she will spend the next 22 days (1 down), contemplating ways to improve the world and change the perceptions of her, even though she worked so hard to create those perceptions. Paris was allowed to keep her hair extensions, many inmates are not. Hers fit the jail's description of "tightly wound." Helping create this booking photo. This is her actual booking photo from the LA Sheriff's Department.

Hilton's New Suite

Paris Hilton is going to jail. She violated the terms of her probation for a drunk driving arrest by driving with a suspended license. She claims she didn't understand the terms of her probation and even fired her PR person because of it. She says the punishment is extreme and she is being singled out for being famous.

For years she got everything she wanted because she was famous for being famous. Now she's going to see the downside.

I do believe a normal person who committed the same offenses would have received a lighter punishment but I don't weep for Paris Hilton. I don't buy her ignorance excuse, I have no patience for drunk driving and if she didn't know better, in the words of Vincent Vega she "shoulda fuckin known better."

She's going to be in a prison for low level criminals but I still hope her cellmate is some big bitch who wants to reenact Paris' most well-known moment, every night for 45 nights.

The Brit Pack

Britney Spears has formed an unholy alliance with Lindsay Lohan and her Lohan's former archnemesis, Paris Hilton. The three have recently been spotted hanging out and not wearing panties.



In these NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!! pictures, you can see Britney's naked vagina, and maybe even her C-section scar (sexy!).

We will not however see Britney in a Paris-esque sex tape (not yet) because those rumors about her and K-Fed turned out to be untrue.

Bad Influence

Britney Spears has a rebound relationship after her failed marriage to K-Fed, and it's Paris Hilton. The two have been hanging out, and as you can see from the picture -- I mean hanging out. The bright side is, maybe we'll end up seeing a Britney sex tape after all.

Paris Hilton DUI

Paris Hilton was arrested for DUI. Her blood alcohol content was 0.08, the lowest reading you can get and still be charged with DUI. Her publicist said she had been up for almost 24 hours straight shooting a video. She hadn't had anything to eat (shocker) and had one drink. She is 5' 3" and weighs 115 el bees.

TMZ.com has video of her arriving at home afterwards. She doesn't look wasted but it was probably several hours later.

Efforting mugshot.

Bad News for Greek Shipping Heirs

Paris Hilton is giving up sex for a year. She is convinced that abstaining will help her to "rediscover" herself.
She said: "I'm doing it just because I want to. I feel I'm becoming stronger as a person."
She doesn't believe in one night stands - because they are "gross".
She said: "One-night stands are not for me. I think it's gross when you just give it up. Guys want you more if you don't just hand it to them on a platter. If they want you, then they will wait. You have to make them work for it. I think that's the only way you know if they really want you or just want to be able to brag that they've been with you."

Bill Bidwill Hates Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton’s new sweetie has been warned to do something that might be difficult: stay out of the spotlight. New Arizona Cardinal quarterback and former USC star Matt Leinart was warned by his team that if he’s serious about football, he shouldn’t be photographed out late at night dancing and drinking with his partying heiress girlfriend, according to the Star. “Matt took it very seriously,” a source told the tab, “almost to the point of tears.”

Mother's Day was Ruined

Paris Hilton is fuming after thieves made off with a $10,000 bag of Mother's Day presents on Sunday. The brazen robbers snatched the gifts, which included Christian Dior shoes, sunglasses, handbags and perfume, from outside the Hiltons' palatial residence in Los Angeles. The bag had been left unwatched at the gate as the delivery person rang the intercom to gain access to the house.
Hilton's spokesman Elliot Mintz says, "A fellow just whizzed by (in a car) and grabbed the package. (Paris) spent three or four hours shopping to put together this wonderful collection of things for her mom."
Instead of being showered with presents, Kathy Hilton was treated to dinner at an exclusive nearby restaurant instead.

Should Make for an Interesting Sex Tape

Hours after she dumped her second Greek shipping heir, Stavros Niarchos, because he didn't reimburse her for big bills he ran up, Paris Hilton was shopping at The Grove Mall in LA with Matt Leinart.
She tried to be incognito in a brown wig, but it didn't work.

I Didn't Think Urine Contained DNA

Paris Hilton's publicists are trying to silence a Hawaiian taxi driver who claims the socialite urinated in his cab.
Harden Jamison tells the National Enquirer the hotel heiress and Simple Life star was too drunk to notice she'd wet herself when he picked her and boyfriend Stavros Niarchos up after a party on Maui.
The disgusted cab driver claims he mopped up the mess with a towel and plans to use Hilton's own DNA as evidence against her.
Jamison has gone public with his story after getting threatened by Hilton's heavies, who hitched a ride in his cab, after making it known that he has a towel drenched with the socialite's urine.
He says, "They were all drunk and abusive. I kicked them out and flagged down a cop."
The cab driver claims one of Hilton's pals offered him $200 for the towel.
A spokesman for the socialite denies the incident.

More Paris and Stavros Idiocy

From NY Post's Page 6:
PARIS Hilton's new pet monkey, Baby Luv, went bananas when she took the peeved primate on a lingerie shopping spree in Las Vegas last weekend. We're told that Baby Luv bit Hilton and clawed her face when she walked into the Agent Provocateur shop at Caesars on Saturday with the beast on her shoulder. Paris managed to pull Baby Luv off her and hooked his leash to a cabinet while she rang up $4,000 worth of bras and panties and a bullwhip, says our eyewitness. Later that night, when the lingerie line hosted Kelly Osbourne's 21st birthday bash at the Hard Rock, Baby Luv escaped from Hilton's clutches — delaying the start of the Agent Provocateur show until staffers found him after a 20-minute search. Meanwhile, Hilton's boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos III, was up to monkey business of his own. In one of the Hard Rock rooms paid for by Niarchos, his bonehead buddies started a fire Sunday morning. The blaze set off the sprinkler system which flooded a dozen rooms, a hotel source says. We're told Niarchos agreed to put $25,000 in damages on his credit card, but he'll likely have to pony up a lot more cash. "The damage may be closer to $100,000," says our source.

More on Paris' New Greek Shipping Heir

Page 6 says earlier this month Paris Hilton's new Greek Shipping Heir boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos III was partying at Element (same place they were the night of the accident). After leaving the club Stavros and some friends stopped at Burger King. "Stavros offered a homeless man outside $100 to dump a soda on himself." The desperate bum took the payout and everyone laughed.

He may have a lot of money but every horny guy in America has seen his girlfriend have sex. You can't unring that bell.

That's Hot

Paris Hilton and her newest Greek shipping heir boyfriend (what is the deal with Greek shipping heirs?), who thankfully isn't also named Paris, got into a car accident while trying to avoid paparazzi. You have to watch the video of this. This schmuck was driving with a jacket over his face, and you wonder why he drives into a truck. One of the other people in the car, is apparently on Derek's favorite TV show, Laguna Beach.