Weekly Picks

green bay +5 1/2 CHICAGO
The Packers can't be that bad without Rodgers, can they?

ny jets -2 1/2 TAMPA BAY
The line on this moved big time. But I have gotten these teams wrong too many times to keep making the same mistakes.

BUFFALO +3 new orleans
Love a good home dog but can rarely find one I like.

dallas +3 ATLANTA
The Falcons just aren't any good this year. We have to stop waiting for them to turn it around. Dallas will still be able to run without Zeke because their offensive line is good.

BEST BET
miami +10 CAROLINA
This is risky but I just don't believe in the Panthers.

Weekly Picks

tampa bay +7 NEW ORLEANS
Seems like a lot. But may I am just wrong on these two teams.

PHILADELPHIA -7 1/2 denver
I wouldn't take this game normally because I don't like picking against backup QBs, but in this case I think we know what we are getting with Osweiler.

CAROLINA -2 1/2 atlanta
The Falcons have not put it together this season.

los angeles rams -4 NEW YORK GIANTS
Todd Gurley versus a depleted Giants team.

BEST BET
TENNESSEE -3 1/2 baltimore
Hoping the Ravens are not the team we saw smoke Miami 40-0.

Weekly Picks

san francisco +13 PHILADELPHIA
The 49ers lost every game close until last week. Weather could be a factor. Plus Eagles dismantled Redskins on Monday Night, I always like to pick against teams coming off good Monday night performances.

BUFFALO -2 1/2 oakland
Bills defense is good. Raiders have struggled, got lucky to beat the Chiefs.

KANSAS CITY -7 1/2 denver
They have to stop losing right? They are really good, Broncos seem bad.

NEW ENGLAND -7 los angeles chargers
When in doubt, pick the Patriots.

BEST BET
indianapolis +10 1/2 CINCINNATI
The Bengals shouldn't be giving 10 and a half points to anyone.

PHILADELPHIA/san francisco under 45
NEW ENGLAND/los angeles chargers under 48
SEATTLE/houston over 45 1/2
KANSAS CITY/denver over 43

Things Just Ain't the Same

Diesel in Maine in 2007:



Diesel in Maine in 2008:


Diesel in Maine in 2009:


Diesel in Maine in 2010:


Diesel in Maine in 2011:

Diesel in Maine in 2012

Diesel in Maine in 2013

Diesel in Maine in 2014:

Diesel in Maine in 2015:

Maine in 2016:

Maine in 2017:

Weekly Picks

Going with an early pick and making it my best bet. Check back Sunday for the other four.

PITTSBURGH -5 cincinnati
A little unsure of this one because of an inconsistent team coming off a big win, but I like the matchup.

GREEN BAY +4 new orleans
Backup quarterback theory at work here.

dallas -6 SAN FRANCISCO
The 49ers are just brutal.

denver -1/2 LOS ANGELES CHARGERS
The Broncos will bounce back.

BEST BET
kansas city -3 OAKLAND
When you have the best team in the league coming off a loss and giving a field goal to a reeling opponent, you take that fuckin game. I know a lot of people don't like road favorites in division games, but those are just words.

MIAMI/new york jets under 38 1/2
GREEN BAY/new orleans under 47 1/2
SAN FRANCISCO/dallas under 48 1/2
NEW ENGLAND/atlanta over 56 1/2

Song of the Week

"Unforgettable" - French Montana featuring Swae Lee
Can anyone settle an argument? Mrs. Poop and I cannot agree if he says he's had enough "gumbo" or "combos."

Dick Stockton is Ron Burgundy

Longtime NFL announcer Dick Stockton made a bit of a gaffe during the Rams-Jaguars game.



I am not entirely sure what happened here, I actually doubt he was a teleprompter in the booth, more likely a piece of paper, which makes it even sillier to not just read those words, but to not realize he'd made a mistake.

I'm Veronica Corningstone.

Weekly Picks

Went 3-2, missed the best bet. This is the week I need to reverse the slide to keep a pretty decent season going.
tampa bay -1 1/2 ARIZONA
It's going to take me a little longer to be convinced that the CornPrices aren't actually a good team.

green bay -3 MINNESOTA
Have you watched Aaron Rodgers play football?

miami +13 ATLANTA
The Falcons just haven't been good enough this year to justify this spread.

DENVER -11 1/2 new york giants
The Giants are lousy and decimated. I would never pick against them otherwise.

BEST BET
new england -9 NEW YORK JETS

I need it to be a very bad weekend for New York football. But I still think the Jets are bad and I know the Patriots can score a lot of points on anyone.

Last Week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 12-13 (13 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (3-2)
Home favorites: 0-0 (4-3)
Home underdogs: 0-0 (0-1)
Road favorites: 0-1 (3-4)
Road underdogs: 3-1 (5-5)

I don't really like any totals this week.
Unders: 1-1 (6-4)
Overs: 0-2 (2-6)

Song of the Week

"Marmalade" - Macklemore featuring Lil Yachty
"Watchin Toy Story 3, that's a great fuckin movie"
Good Tom Brady deflategate reference in the video.

Weekly Picks

First bad week of the season, it happens. Hopefully we can rebound this week.

new york jets +1/2 CLEVELAND
Maybe the Jets really aren't that bad.

green bay +3 DALLAS
I trust Rodgers in big games.

tennessee -2 1/2 MIAMI
Dolphins appear to be brutal.

seattle +1 1/2 LOS ANGELES RAMS
Not sure the torch is ready to be passed.

BEST BET
buffalo +3 CINCINNATI
I don't get this spread. Bills are pretty good. I know people worry about traps, I just call em as I see em. Last Week: 1-4 (0 points)
Season: 9-11 (11 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (3-1)
Home favorites: 0-1 (4-3)
Home underdogs: 0-0 (0-1)
Road favorites: 0-1 (3-3)
Road underdogs: 1-2 (2-4)

Unders: 1-1 (6-4)
Overs: 0-2 (2-6)

Song of the Week

"Runnin Down a Dream" - Tom Petty
"Felt so good, like anything was possible"
Rest in peace, Tom Petty

Playoff Predictions

AL Wild Card:
Yankees over Twins

AL Division Series:
Astros over Red Sox
Indians over Yankees

AL Championship Series:
Astros over Indians

NL Wild Card:
Diamondbacks over Rockies

NL Division Series:
Cubs over Nationals
Dodgers over Diamondbacks

NL Championship Series:
Dodgers over Cubs

World Series:
Dodgers over Astros (6 games)

Weekly Picks

Still perfect on best bets, but we've got some tricky games this week.

oakland +3 DENVER
I still think the Raiders are a very good team. They got embarrassed in a nationally televised game so bettors fled them. We'll see this week if their offensive line really is that bad.

TAMPA BAY -3 new york giants
I almost never pick against the Giants but they are so brutal this season, this spread seems too good to pass up.

philadelphia +2 LOS ANGELES CHARGERS
The Eagles seems ok, the Chargers seem terrible, and worse yet, they always make mistakes to lose games.

indianapolis +13 SEATTLE
This is just a hunch that the Seahawks offense isn't good enough to put enough points on the board to cover this big number.

BEST BET
jacksonville -3 NEW YORK JETS
The Jets are awful. Don't let one week fool you.

Last Week: 2-3 (3 points)
Season: 8-7 (11 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (3-0)
Home favorites: 0-1 (4-2)
Home underdogs: 0-0 (0-1)
Road favorites: 1-0 (3-2)
Road underdogs: 1-2 (1-2)

MINNESOTA/detroit over 42 1/2
ATLANTA/buffalo over 48 1/2
TAMPA BAY/new york giants under 44 1/2
ARIZONA/san francisco under 44 1/2

Unders: 0-2 (5-3)
Overs: 2-0 (2-4)

Song of the Week

"Congratulations" - Post Malone featuring Quavo

Weekly Picks

Another decent week, nailing those best bets really changes everything. Got a little bad beat on total lack of offense in second half of two games in which we had the over (NE-NO and TB-CHI), but otherwise doing pretty ok. Was actually thinking of picking Rams in Thursday night's game. Glad I didn't.

houston +14 NEW ENGLAND
I know the Patriots love to blow people out but I think the Texans defense will keep them in it.

CAROLINA -5 1/2 new orleans
I know Cam Newton isn't off to such a good start but the Saints defense should be good for what ails him.

tampa bay +2 MINNESOTA
The CornPrices have some key defensive players on the injury report, but they shouldn't need too much help to shut down the Vikings without Sam Bradford again.

seattle +3 TENNESSEE
This could be one I have to completely change my view on both teams after this game.

BEST BET
kansas city -2 1/2 LOS ANGELES CHARGERS
I really like Kansas City and the Chargers always seem to find a way to lose.

Last Week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 6-4 (8 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (2-0)
Home favorites: 2-0 (4-1)
Home underdogs: 0-1 (0-1)
Road favorites: 1-1 (2-2)
Road underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)

INDIANAPOLIS/cleveland under 42
CAROLINA/new orleans over 46 1/2
GREEN BAY/cincinnati under 46
DETROIT/atlanta over 50 1/2


Unders 5-1
Overs 0-4

Song of the Week

"Thunder" - Imagine Dragons

Weekly Picks

A pretty good start to the season with 4 points. But now the question becomes which performances that we saw in Week 1 portend something larger for the remainder of the season and which are aberrations to be ignored.

new england -6 NEW ORLEANS
Patriots will rebound. Not so sure about the Saints. More on this game later. Hint: we're taking the over even though it's an astronomical 56 1/2 points.

PITTSBURGH -5 1/2 minnesota
It's the oldest trap in the book, team looks surprisingly good on Monday night and everyone thinks they're great. And Sam Bradford's health also an issue here.

dallas -2 1/2 DENVER
I just don't trust Trevor Siemian.

JACKSONVILLE +1 tennessee
I am certainly not sure about this one but I wouldn't be shocked if the Jags won this game at home.

BEST BET
TAMPA BAY -6 1/2 chicago
The ExpensiveCornPrices are still my breakout team for this season and that extra week off won't slow them down.

Last Week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 3-2 (4 points)
Best Bets: 1-0
Home favorites: 2-1
Home underdogs: 0-0
Road favorites: 1-1
Road underdogs: 0-0

CAROLINA/buffalo over 43
NEW ORLEANS/new england over 56 1/2
PITTSBURGH/minnesota under 45
TAMPA BAY/chicago over 43 1/2
DENVER/dallas under 42
SEATTLE/san francisco under 42

Unders: 3-0
Overs: 0-1

Song of the Week

"You & I" - Sons of Maria
You all know how I feel about the creative use of a sample. This is surely the best work anyone has ever done with Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car."

Weekly Picks

Welcome back for another season of barely adequate picks. Crazy line movements for week 1 which is so difficult anyway.
Bonus for this season, I'll be throwing in an undefined number of over/under picks.

HOUSTON -5 jacksonville
I think the Jags will suck again this year and Houston should probably be 9-7 again. Tom Savage won't be great but he should be good enough. Just worried that morons bet on Houston thinking they will be galvanized by Harvey similar to what happened to the Saints after Katrina.

LOS ANGELES RAMS -4 indianapolis
I think the Rams will be improved. I think the Colts will be bad, especially without Andrew Luck.

pittsburgh -9 CLEVELAND
The Steelers are much better than the Browns.

carolina -5 SAN FRANCISCO
The Panthers will have a bounceback year and the 9ers will still suck.

BEST BET
MINNESOTA -3 new orleans
Not really sure about this one as a best bet but I don't love any of the other 4 games more.

Totals:
BUFFALO/new york jets under 40
TENNESSEE/oakland under 50 1/2
CLEVELAND/pittsburgh under 46 1/2
DALLAS/new york giants over 47 1/2

Song of the Week

"Rolex" - Ayo & Teo
Terrible song but the kids seem to like it.