This is Not a Joke

The other night while driving to work at 3:30 AM I was traveling in the center lane on Route 4. A car zips past me in the left lane. I was doing low 60s, I estimate this car was doing at least 80.
I saw it was a cop car and wondered where it was going that fast. And I then surmised if there had been a real emergency it would have had its lights on.
I was able to follow its tail lights, since no one else was on the road and saw it pull into its final destination: Dunkin Donuts.
What a cliche.

Never Cheat On Your Wife With a Woman Who Can't Remember Where She Parked

Hines Ward was briefly detained at gunpoint by police who thought he had stolen a car.
Ward was riding in a Honda Civic at 1:30 am, when police pulled them over thinking the car was stolen.
Why did they think the car was stolen? Because the driver, presumably Ward's girlfriend, reported it stolen two weeks earlier.
Why did she report it stolen? Because she couldn't remember where she parked.
When she finally found her car she never bothered to call police back.
Therefore Ward was presumed a car thief, perhaps rightfully so by the cops.
The woman was able to prove ownership and Ward was released, but embarrassed [corrected].
Now I am not certain Ward is still married, at the very least he is separated, maybe divorced. But we also know the woman in the car was not Ward's dance partner Kym Johnson.

Tough Guy Cops Beat Unruly Pirates Fan

There's not much to get excited about at a Pittsburgh Pirates game and there's probably a 1 to 1 ratio of cops to fans, which could explain this scene.



Why did the first cop hit the guy in the side of the head? There was no reason to do that? He seemed to be taking his ejection in stride. So he gave one guy a forearm shiver, big deal. But I loved the way the guy just stood there after the first strike.

Putting the Ass in Assault

Jose Cruz, not the former baseball player, but the drunk from West Virginia, is charged with farting on a police officer.
Cruz was pulled over when he was seen driving without his lights on. After he failed several field sobriety tests, he was taken to the station.

While being fingerprinted, Cruz "lifted his leg and passed gas loudly on Patrolman Parsons. The defendant then fanned the air with his hand in front of his rear, onto Patrolman Parsons. The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature."

So in addition to the drunk driving charge, the cops added a battery charge for the fart.

Saddest Story Ever

The Mayor of Berwyn Heights, Maryland had his home invaded by a SWAT team who tied up his mother-in-law and shot and killed his two dogs, Black Labradors named Payton and Chase.
Last week, a FedEx delivery was dropped off at Cheye Calvo's house. It was addressed to his wife so he picked it up and brought it inside.
Police had been tipped off to the package when it was flagged by a bomb-sniffing dog. Now police say drug smugglers used Calvo's wife's identity to send the package (containing 32 pounds of marijuana) to her address and hoped to pick it up before she was able to.
But as soon as Calvo brought the package in the house, the SWAT team invaded.
Calvo said he was brought downstairs at gunpoint in his boxer shorts, handcuffed and forced onto the floor with his mother-in-law near the carcass of one of dead dogs.
"I noticed my two dead dogs lying in pools of their own blood," Calvo said.
Police say they shot the dogs because they felt threatened but Calvo said the dogs were tracked down by the cops and one was shot in the back as he was running away.

To Protect and Serve

Unfortunately this is why so many people have a bad impression of cops, especially in NYC. Well that and the shootings of unarmed black people. This video was filmed during some kind of bicycle protest in Times Square



Patrick Pogan is the cop and Christopher Long is the bike rider.
Long, 29, was charged with attempted assault, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct, according to the complaint filed by the Manhattan District Attorney's office.
The complaint alleges that Long's cycling "caused disruption of the normal flow of vehicular traffic." When the officer asked the defendant to stop, Long allegedly "drove (his) bicycle directly into the (officer's) body, causing (him) to fall to the ground and ... suffer lacerations on (his) forearms."

Reports are that Long was being particularly douchey, swerving in front of cars and maybe even assaulting someone, but even if Long needed to be taken down, Pogan should have done it much differently.

Citizens on Patrol

A lawyer in Oregon, Eric Bryant, issued a series of citizen-initiated violations to a cop who parked illegally, right in front of a no parking sign, in order to go to a restaurant and pick up some food.
I'm sort of torn about this. I don't like uptight douchebags, but I don't like abuse of power either.
I don't think cops should be above the law, but I don't think a cop should have to park 3 blocks away, just in case there is an emergency.

Police Misconduct

Police in Elkhart, Indiana had a lot to be thankful for last Thanksgiving. A driver who was stopped and found to have been driving drunk was picked up and his hot passenger, who was not charged with a crime, was brought to the police station. While she was waiting for a ride, the slut in the miniskirt got friendly with the officers. First, she leaned over the counter and got a drink from an officer. Then things started to escalate, and while the cops were taking cell phone pictures of her, the security cameras were taking pictures of them.