Reason I Love Mrs. Poop #415,782

Knowing my love of melting crayons and making new ones, Mrs. Poop bought me a new mold, lips and mustaches.

That would have been enough (dayenu), but when she gave it to me she called it "lips and assholes," a reference to a classic movie line.

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,781

Everyday when I get my car from the garage I tip the parking attendant a dollar. Sometimes it's a pain to find enough singles, so I just go to the bank and ask for $100 singles. I tossed the bundle at Mrs. Poop. She ripped the paper ring holding the bills together. She apologized saying "I was having fun. I was making it rain."

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,780

While rushing for an appointment for an ultrasound Mrs. Poop was driving around the very busy parking lot at the medical building. She noticed one of the spaces reserved for Maternal-Fetal Medicine Patients open up, but by the time she drove around to it a man (by himself) had taken the spot.
Mrs. Poop avoided confrontation but was forced to park across the street in the parking lot of the Korean Church.
On the way in, she left a note on the offending car "thanks for parking in a spot reserved for pregnant ladies, asshole."

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,779

While watching the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show Mrs. Poop sent me this e-mail:

"I think the man doing the announcing for the dog show is getting too much pleasure out of calling the female dogs bitches."

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,778

I actually like scented candles. I like when the house smells like something nice as opposed to my farts, Chase's poop or Diesel's breath.

But I don't really like flowers or fruit or any of the stuff candles normally smell of.

That's why I once suggested scents to Yankee candle (fresh mowed grass, bacon), but they don't accept customer suggestions.

Note: I also suggested a candle that smells like gasoline or natural gas -- but as a gag gift. Imagine how hysterical that would be, you invite a guest to your home, he or she smells gas, then sees a candle burning. Hilarious.

Because Mrs. Poop is so great, she bought my a candle that smells like a root beer float. And it's 100% true, my whole house smells like an old fashioned malt shoppe right now.

Additional note: Mrs. Poop purchased this candle from a friend's kid as part of a school fundraiser, meaning she did well and did good simultaneously.

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,777

I sent Mrs. Poop an e-mail warning her that President Bush would preempt Thursday night television with his farewell address.
Here is her reply, in its entirety:

"Mother Fucker."

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,776

I e-mailed Mrs. Poop this picture. And all my shirts are ironed anyway.

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,775

During yesterday's big Northeast snowstorm Mrs. Poop and I decided to run some errands. We took Chase (sealed in a plastic bubble) and Diesel to the post office (holiday cards coming soon to a mailbox near you if we have address handy) and to the butcher (we got there just in time for the man in the fur hat to let me in before they closed) and when we got home I stayed outside to shovel.
When I was finished Mrs. Poop was making me hot cocoa. And she added little marshmallows on top, put some peppermint candies at the bottom (which melted beautifully to give it a minty taste) and topped it all off with whipped cream. A delicious delight to warm my frozen belly.

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,774

Chase has a toy piggy bank that comes with 10 colored coins.
When I came downstairs today the coins were all over the living room.
When I asked Chase what the hell happened, Mrs. Poop replied "he was making it rain."

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,773

Mrs. Poop loves to check the messages on our home answering machine when we're away. Only problem is, she forgot the pincode. So last week while we were in Connecticut for one day she tried several times, unsuccessfully to call our machine and get the messages.
So when we got home, our machine was full of messages that consisted of her pressing a bunch of buttons, and me listening to the Mets game in the background.

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,772

I was watching an old poker tournament when Allen Cunningham and two other players got all-in preflop. All three of them turned up ace-king, and I pointed it out to Mrs. Poop.
The next day she asked "what happened in that hand when everyone had ace-king."
After years of pretending to hate poker I think she's warming up to it and will eventually be multi-tabling on my Full Tilt account.

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,771

I sent Mrs. Poop this picture:



And she said: "The woman is shaving her pussy"

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,770

Because she bought me a big cookie for the big game.

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,769

On her first Halloween my niece Cayla was a butterfly, because Mrs. Bates loves butterflies.





On her first Halloween my niece Jenna was a sunflower, because Step On Me loves sunflowers.



Because Chase is already a baby, Mrs. Poop dressed Chase up this year as something I love.

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,768

In an age when fantasy drafts are rescheduled for "Idols Live" concerts, and wives' birthday dinners, Mrs. Poop allowed me to do a draft for Master Bates on our second anniversary.
We had planned a dinner (our first night out) for our anniversary and asked my parents to babysit Chase and Diesel. It would be our first night out in weeks.
But then Master Bates called and said he couldn't do his draft and could I draft for him at 8pm.
Mrs. Poop said it was no problem, we'd just go to an early dinner.