He Can Coach My Kids Anytime

I used to think of Kansas State coach Frank Martin like this:

Now I think of South Carolina coach Frank Martin like this:

It all changed for me when Martin was asked, essentially, what's wrong kids these days?

Martin responded: “You know what makes me sick to my stomach? When I hear grown people say that kids have changed. Kids haven’t changed. Kids don’t know anything about anything. We’ve changed as adults. We demand less of kids. We make their lives easier instead of preparing them for what life is truly about. We’re the ones that have changed. To blame kids is a cop out.”

Demanding, understanding, with an occasional yell. That's my kind of coach.

When kids come into this world, they don't know whether they should be spoiled or hard-working. We make them that way by the challenges we allow, and don't allow them to face.

Frank Martin has the right idea. He can coach my kids anytime.

The Search is Over

After years of looking for the best gore and scouring pictures of bull fights and the Running of the Bulls for pictures of people with bullhorns lodged in uncomfortable places.
We don't need to bother anymore. Here is the best (worst?) we should ever hope to see:

Matador Antonio Romero got an 11-inch bull horn right up the ass.
He needed full rectal reconstruction.

I guess he never saw "The Breakfast Club."

Song of the Week

"Touch of Grey" - Grateful Dead
"I will get by."

Song of the Week

"No Particular Place to Go" - Chuck Berry
"Cruisin and playing the radio, with no particular place to go"

Something That Really Cooks

Chuck Berry, who has died aged 90, was rock’n’roll’s first guitar hero and poet. Never wild, but always savvy, Berry helped define the music. His material fused insistent tunes with highly distinctive lyrics that celebrated with deft wit and loving detail the glories of 1950s US teen consumerism.

He is survived by his wife, Themetta “Toddy” Suggs, whom he married in 1948, four children, Ingrid, Chuck junior, Aloha and Melody and cousin Marvin.

Tournament Thoughts: Second Round Sunday

We finally got the good games and the upsets we wanted.

I think we have the declare the offense vs. defense a draw.

South Carolina beat Duke, Arkansas gave North Carolina a game, but UCLA beat Cincinnati easily.

One tournament is a small sample, but man the ACC had just about has bad a tournament as you can have. Not only did the 5 bottom teams lose, three of the biggest upsets so far were ACC teams. Out of 9 teams to start only 1 remains. Out of 9 teams from the ACC and SEC, 6 remain.

Joel Berry got away with a ridiculous travel. And it came at a crucial time, pushing the lead from 1 to 3.



Alex English had a busy weekend, watching his son AJ play for Iona against Oregon, and then seeing his alma mater South Carolina beat Duke. Too bad he wasn't wearing this awesome jersey though.

One of Rhode Island's best players, Hassan Martin, is from Staten Island and went to Curtis High School.

Tournament Thoughts: Second Round Saturday

So it took until the third day but finally we got the thrilling upsets and fantastic finishes for which the tournament is revered.
But let's start at the beginning.
I love Verne Lundquist but he is losing his fastball. He misread the promo for "Kevin Can Wait." Even though it was about cooking, he said Chief Kevin, instead of Chef Kevin. Then made the same mistake again today, before correcting himself. Though we liked when he suggested the West Virginia band learn how to play "Do You Know the Way to San Jose?"

When people were talking about seeing "Beauty and the Beast" this weekend I thought they meant Verne and Allie LaForce. LaForce by the way, has come a long way since we first profiled her, marrying former Mets reliever Joe Smith, and progressing nicely in her career.

We should take it easy on Verne though, poor guy got hit in the face by a basketball during warmups.



Villanova a huge disappointment in their title defense. For years they had underachieved and finally broke through, but then reverted back. They become the first #1 seed to get knocked out on the first weekend since Kansas lost that memorable game to #9 Northern Iowa in 2010.

Wisconsin probably deserved a better seed, they have a really good team.

Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, shown a lot on TV at the Northwestern game because her son Charlie Hall is on the team.

But not nearly as much as the Northwestern crying kid.

I felt terrible about how often they showed him and how they milked his anguish. Thought it was a little too much. Turns on the kid is the son of the athletic director. And he's 11 years old. And I hope he never loses that youthful passion and enthusiasm.

Now to the important part of that game: the terrible non-call on a clear goaltending. It was clear and obvious, Zach Collins's hand was through the hoop when he contested that shot. The refs blew it. Perhaps the ref on the baseline was screened by the bottom of the backboard, perhaps he was looking for body contact, I don't know how all three of them missed it.

And it was a huge play. Massive turning point. Should have been a 3 point game with 5 minutes left. Instead after the technical on Chris Collins (no relation to Zack) it was back to 7 and Northwestern couldn't climb the hill. But despite the call Chris Collins cannot come onto the floor like that during play. The ref had to tee him up, no choice.

Arizona looks really good. Even though they got pushed by a good St. Mary's team, I like their talent. They may be lacking a true point guard but they have players everywhere around the court.

Kyle Guy and his manbun made Mrs. Poop's All-Hair team.

And his teammate Ty Jerome is on my all-name team.

If Mrs. Poop had an All-Name team (she doesn't) she would choose Florida's Gorjok Gak.

Because it reminds her of the gak from Double Dare.

Thank God Virginia lost. What a boring team to watch. 39 points? Really? Glad I will never have to watch London Perrantes play again.

Check out Caleb "Biggie" Swanigan's middle school highlight reel.



He had a lot of struggles earlier in life, and seems to have overcome them. He's lost 100 pounds, maybe has more to lose. But he is a fantastic player who can shoot and pass much better than we expect for someone of his size.

We ended the night with a good one. Two good athletic teams running up and down the floor. Exciting finish to the day. Let's hope for more tomorrow.

Tournament Thoughts: First Round Friday

I am never disappointed with the NCAA tournament but this was the most underwhelming first round I can remember in years. No upsets of a top 4 seed, and only 1 12 seed won, and they were actually favored.

And the big teams that won for the most part weren't even challenged. North Carolina won by 39, Kansas by 38, Duke by 22. And the two teams that were "challenged" were UCLA and Kentucky and they still won by 17 & 9. And Kentucky's win wasn't even that close.

Hopefully, the better teams advancing means more good games in the later rounds.

And it wasn't just the top seeds, the close matchups, didn't yield any super-exciting games, none went to overtime. For the second straight day, one of the most exciting finishes was marred by bad play.

Seton Hall had so many unfortunate things happen in the final 40 seconds, the culmination of which was a questionable call, but they lost more because of their own mistakes than those of the officials.

Here's why: they led by 8 with 6 minutes left, they led by 8 with 9 minutes left. They had the lead and the ball with 80 seconds left. Then they turned it over, and allowed the go-ahead layup. They had the ball again, and turned it over on a travel. So that's two turnovers in 1 minute with the game on the line, before the officials got involved.

And then, the call happened. Seton Hall had to give a foul, trailing by 1 with the shot clock off. Desi Rodriguez tried to foul but instead he put two hands on the back of Barford and their feet got tangled simultaneously. By the letter of the law, this should have been ruled a flagrant, a clear push with no attempt to play the ball. By the spirit, no foul, it's late in the game, teams need to foul, contact wasn't excessive.

Look at it from the other side. Imagine you're Arkansas. A guy does exactly what is written in the rule book as a flagrant foul, but they give him leeway based on discretion, and you somehow lose. Wouldn't Arkansas have a much bigger case to freak out? You can't tailor the rules to the situation.

And for Seton Hall, the most likely case is ball back, down 3, 20 seconds. Not great odds. Which is why Seton Hall blew this game before the referee's call was made.

If Marquette's Andrew Rousey went on Jim Rome's show, would he call him "Ronda?"

Every time the announcers talked about Cincinnati's Troy Caupain, it sounded like they were saying cocaine.

Similarly I thought Kevin Harlan had a Freudian slip when excitedly referring to Baylor's Manu Lecomte. "Look at le cunt!"

On to round 2, hoping for some better games!

Tournament Thoughts: First Round Thursday

Sickening end to Vanderbilt vs. Northwestern. Matthew Fisher-Davis will not quite join Chris Webber, due to enormity of the situation, but certainly his blatant foul with 25 seconds left and his team LEADING by 1, will go down as one of the most boneheaded moves in tournament history.

No big upsets today. You can't really consider Middle Tennessee an upset since they were favored, and Xavier was only 2-point dogs, not exactly Cinderella stuff. All the 4 seeds won their opening round games. That's the third time that's happened in the past 4 years.

My biggest regret of the first round is that Albany lost their conference final to Vermont, and I don't get to put Dallas Ennema on my all-name team.

But at least we have Bacon.

The first member of Mrs. Poop's All-Hair team is Justin Tillman from VCU.

And his teammate Jonathan Williams would be there if Mrs. Poop liked beards.

For fundamentals no one beats Florida's Canyon Barry who shoots free throws underhand, as his father Rick used to do. Oh, and Barry set the Florida record for most consecutive free throws. For the record, Rick had sons Scooter, Brent & Jon with his first wife, Canyon is from wife #3, Rick must have been about 50 when Canyon was born.

Underhanded free throws are something Florida-Gulf Coast's Demetris Morant might want to consider.



Arizona looked good, Nevada looked fun and maybe Wisconsin can give Villanova some trouble. That's it for a very chalky day 1. Let's see if more upsets await on Day 2.

Song of the Week

"Something Like This" - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay

No One To Blame But Themselves

The Syracuse Orange will be watching the NCAA Tournament for the second time in 3 years (not the way Jim Boeheim wanted to spend his latter years, but that's another post for another time).
The Orange were squarely on the bubble with an 18-14 record. Working against them, 4 horrible losses (St John's, Georgetown, UConn and Boston College), a poor road record (2-11) and a miserable RPI (80-something), which would have been the worst RPI to ever get an at-large berth, breaking the record they set last year.
But working in their favor, Syracuse finished 10-8 in the top conference, won 6 games against the RPI top 50 and was a completely different team that they were in November and December.
But when you lose 14 games, and blow several chances at a statement win, or even an easy clinching win, and don't get it, you really can't blame the committee.
Every team ahead of the Orange has pros and cons when rated head-to-head.
My only issue is with what seems to me to be some inconsistency in the criteria from year-to-year. It seems like last year SU was rewarded for big wins, this year those didn't matter as much. Perhaps the committee didn't want to keep stretching their criteria for the same team, and certainly it didn't seem like last year's Final Four run mattered at all.
But at least I have the Virginia game saved on my DVR.

Daniel Was The Real Bully

I have seen "The Karate Kid" many times, and like you, I always hate sympathy for Daniel LaRusso (played by Ralph Macchio) because I thought he was harassed, bullied and physically assaulted by the evil Johnny (Billy Zabka).
Turns out I had incredibly misinterpreted what really went on:



And they didn't even mention that Daniel kicked Johnny in the face, in clear violation of the rules of the tournament.

If you like looking differently at movies you thought you knew, check out this trailer for the Shining.

Which is Better: New York City or Greensboro

A leader who is often surly, nasty, dismissive and vindictive towards the media. He often picks fights with the media, especially over petty issues. And he mocks anyone who questions him.

Yes, I am talking about Jim Boeheim.

After his team lost in the ACC tournament he explained why he thinks the tournament should be in held in big cities every year.



The city of Greensboro responded with a snarky tweet:

Now personally, I believe representatives for a city should behave with a little more civility, but I understand that this is the culture of our youth, especially on Twitter, and you don't get attention if you don't "clap back" or retweet.

But in Boeheim's defense, he was asked the question. And it seems like someone followed up asking specifically about Greensboro. Sure he didn't have to answer so rudely. He made fair points which would have been better received had he not doused them with jerkiness.

The Greensboro Grasshoppers, a single A affiliate of the Miami Marlins will host "Jim Boeheim (No) Value Night" on April 11.

All fans with a valid Syracuse, NY Driver's License will be given a free ticket, $20 in food and beverage vouchers, and a pre-game meet and greet with retired Hall of Fame Bat Dog, Miss Babe Ruth.

"Contrary to what Jim Boeheim thinks, Greensboro is a great place and we want to show off our city, our ballpark and our southern hospitality to our friends from Syracuse. We know that not all of them are whiners and grouches like their basketball coach," said Grasshoppers Team President and General Manager Donald Moore.

Boeheim will be honored during the "Whine of the Game" that night sponsored by Carolina Pediatrics of the Triad. "We may invite the coach to attend, although his presence will bring us no value, none," Moore continued. "I suspect he may already have plans to be at a game in New York, Washington, or Atlanta that evening and unable to come."

Song of the Week

"Lush Life" - Zara Larsson

Their Mothers Were So Proud

The good boychicks on the World Baseball Classic teams representing Israel had us all kvelling after they removed their caps for Hatikvah and put on kippot.

They also won their first 2 games, against South Korea and Taipei, making it very likely they will advance to the second round of pool play.



Readers of this blog will be most familiar with current Met Ty Kelly and former Met Ike Davis. Staten Island's own Jason Marquis is the ace of the pitching staff.

Song of the Week

"Animal" - Miike Snow
The only thing I don't like about this song is that apparently the correct spelling of the artist's name includes two Is.