The NFL is Poop - Week 13

The Best Ever?
Right now I think we are witnessing one of the greatest seasons a quarterback has ever had. I'm not going to sit here and compare stats between Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady in 2007. Because I've seen that done, and Brady wins. I know Brady was great that year, and others have been great, but here's what I think puts Rodgers over the top. Every pass is perfect. He had less than a minute to get the Packers 60-plus yards for a field goal attempt, and it wasn't even difficult. Every pass was exactly where it needed to be for it to be caught. No defense could have stopped those throws from being completed. The Giants knew what was coming and they couldn't stop it.



Good Friends Better Enemies
Two former Florida Gators teammates staged a great little back and forth -- but as always -- Tim Tebow won. Vikings wide receiver Percy Harvin played the best game of his NFL career. He scored on 52 and 48-yard passes, but each time he did Tim Tebow brought his team back. And maybe we are witnessing his evolution because Tebow didn't win this game with his legs (only 4 carries for 13 yards), the defense didn't play great (scored one TD but allowed 32 points). Tebow threw some great passes including two to Demaryius Thomas. But even has he dropped one right into Thomas's arms it's still apparent that he can't throw a spiral. The pass was wobbling the whole time, but it got there. And as I am starting to believe with Tebow, it may not be pretty, but he gets the job done.



I Guess Everyone Has To Tweet Insults About Matt Forte
Chicago Bears running back Matt Forte was cruising along having a great season. He was a serious MVP candidate (well, not really because of Aaron Rodgers) but it all ended in one fell swoop. He will miss several games (but could come back for the season ends) with a Grade 2 sprain of his MCL. Exactly the same injury Jay Cutler had during last year's NFC Championship game when it seemed like the entire league (of players who weren't in the playoffs) questioned Cutler's heart, toughness and commitment to his team.



Ice the Kicker
Dallas Cowboys coach Jason Garrett is under a lot of fire for icing his own kicker. Garrett called timeout just as Dan Bailey was lining up to kick a 49-yard game-winning field goal. Time was called as the ball sailed through the uprights. Bailey missed his second attempt and Garrett is being blamed. Garrett shouldn't be blamed for that. I have seen studies comparing kicks before and after timeouts. The results are inconclusive with a slight bias leaning towards showing icing kickers works. I believe Garrett cost his team the game, but not by icing the kicker. He lost the game by not calling timeout after two successive complete passes. That cost his team the chance to run another play and get even closer. That's why Garrett should be under fire, clearly tangible evidence that he didn't effectively use his timeouts to his advantage, not some conjecture about the kicker's psychology going into his second attempt at the field goal.



A Brief Rant About the Redskins
The Redskins stink. Through 12 weeks of this season I know that. What is so galling is that they can't score touchdowns in the red zone. Four more field goal attempts. And Rex Grossman always make a critical error at the wrong time. I am keeping the rant brief this week.

Picture of the Week
When the ExpensiveCornPrices go retro they go all the way. Even the cheerleaders are dressed in throwback unis.

Here's Winking At You Kid

Maybe it's obvious, but I guess you have to learn how to wink. I wink at Julian and his efforts to imitate me are hilarious.

Never Leave Flour Laying Around

Woman gets home from food shopping. Leaves the groceries where her two kids can get them and goes to the bathroom. She claims she was in there for just a few minutes. When she stepped out she saw this, went in the bathroom to avoid killing the little bastards, got the camera and tried to laugh it off.

Adios Jose

Jose Reyes has officially left the New York Mets, signing a 6-year, $106 million contract with the Miami Marlins.
The Marlins have different motivations than the Mets. They are moving into a new ballpark and need to fill it with a star player to create excitement (though I think their flirtation with the Expensive Pooh Holes is just for show). And in truth, they have a better, younger core (Morrison, Stanton, Ramirez and Josh Johnson) than the Mets, making Reyes a more valuable addition for them.
The Mets were only willing to offer 5-years at $80 million, maybe $90m at the most. That wasn't going to be enough.
And as sad as I am to see him go, I think it is the right move for the Mets. This team is not ready to compete yet. And since his next two years are likely to be his best (of the 6 on the contract) it does little good to pay a player $18 million to be on a bad team. And by the time the Mets are ready to compete, Reyes, an oft-injured player whose game relies on speed, it's likely his performance will be in decline.
I will miss watching Reyes play. I always enjoyed his energy, his smile, his defense and especially his triples, but the time has come to move on.
Adios Jose.

Weekly Picks

I finally got a little something going last week but missed my best bet. I am still .500 for the season. But that's not good enough. 55% overall is what you need, and for these purposes, you certainly can't be 42% on best bets.

atlanta -2 HOUSTON
Such a tough break for the Texans to lose not one but two quarterbacks. I know they will still play good defense and still run the ball, but I think the Falcons can pull this one off.


st. louis +13 1/2 SAN FRANCISCO
This spread is a little too much for a team with a suspect offense. And perhaps the Rams can use some of the Ravens strategy for putting pressure on Alex Smith.


NEW ENGLAND -20 1/2 indianapolis
The last time we saw a spread this big it was the Patriots during their undefeated regular season of 2007. They were favored by 23 over the Eagles, and only won by 3. This time I see them scoring at least 38 points. Can the Colts score more than 17? I doubt it.

CHICAGO -7 kansas city
Hanie threw 3 interceptions last week. If he can cut that down to 1 or even zero I think the Bears can win big.

BEST BET
denver +1/2 MINNESOTA
If you can't beat em, join em.

Last Week: 4-1 (3 points)
Season: 30-30 (28 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (5-7)
Home Favorites: 2-1 (14-14)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-1)
Road Favorites: 2-0 (9-7)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (7-8)

The A-Rod of the NFL

Five years ago I wrote about the problem with Alex Rodriguez. I gave A-Rod two pieces of advice:
"1) You can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself
2) When you try to please everyone you end up pleasing no one"

Seems like those lessons could apply to Donovan McNabb as well. In the last 2 years, McNabb has burned bridges with 3 NFL teams. The biggest reason of course is his poor play. But there's something about McNabb that is incredibly unlikeable: he is a phony. He tries to say what he thinks everyone wants to hear, and instead his act is very transparent, and even more annoying.

After he was cut loose by the Minnesota Vikings, he did a couple interviews, ESPN, NFL Network and seemed even more unlikeable. He refused to say he wanted to be released to go play somewhere else, instead saying he want to give Christian Ponder room to grow. Not wanting to seem selfish, he didn't say he requested his release to go play somewhere immediately, he said he wanted to "clear his head."

Some desperate team may make a bid for McNabb. But I have feeling they won't be happy with his play or his personality.

Still Feisty After All These Years

Former Minnesota Vikings quarterback Joe Kapp and Angelo Mosca recently settled a feud that started during the 1963 Grey Cup. Kapp tried to squash the beef by offering Mosca a flower.



An awesome move by the old codger using his cane to knock the glasses off Kapp's face. And that was when hell of a right hook by a 73 year old man.

Valentine's Day

Bobby Valentine is the new manager of the Boston Red Sox. They brought in Bobby V to bring some decorum to the clubhouse after last season's embarrassing chicken and beer meltdown. I think they have the wrong guy.



Not just because his enduring legacy is his mustache gambit. But also because his philosophy, which includes an affection for the sacrifice bunt, doesn't mesh with the sabremetricians in the front office, who have proven the sacrifice bunt is an ineffective use of an out.

Song of the Week

"Borderline" - Madonna
Some people think Lady Gaga is the natural evolution of Madonna. But I'll wait until she does something as good as this before I make that proclamation.

The NFL is Poop - Week 12

I'm Never Picking Against Tim Tebow Again
Until the playoffs. This can't be a coincidence. The Denver Broncos are 5-1 with Tebow as the starter. He actually has gotten a lot better as a passer, a few of this throws in the win over San Diego were actually good throws. He still can't throw on the level of most NFL quarterbacks but for some reason the Broncos keep winning. I know it is the defense, but didn't they have the same defense when Kyle Orton was 1-4? Maybe he knows how to get the most out of his teammates. Maybe the increased reliance on the run slows down the game. Whatever it is, I am starting to believe it.


If You Want to Talk Trash, You Gotta Back It Up
Buffalo Bills wide receiver Stevie Johnson did an hilarious touchdown celebration, mock-shooting himself in the leg, a la Jets receiver Plaxico Burress.



Problem is, Johnson's antics resulted in a penalty, which helped set up a touchdown drive for the Jets. And even worse, Johnson dropped not one but two passes that could have helped the Bills score a game-winning TD late in the game. You may remember Johnson also dropped a very catchable ball against the Steelers last year.

SUH-spended
Speaking of selfish behavior costing your team, Ndamukong Suh. I am a huge Suh fan and I have been for three years now. And everyone who knows him says he really is a great guy on the field. So why does he keep acting like this? Does he lose control? Is he tried to intimidate people? His latest infraction, stomping on the chest of a prone Packers player, earned him a 2-game suspension, which will surely hurt his team. Suh has already been fined three times by the league office for aggressive play. He even met with Commissioner Goodell to discuss acceptable behavior. It's a shame to see such a great player behave so poorly.

Ain't That a Shame
Every year is supposed to be the year of the Texans. 2011 actually seemed to be going their way. Their nemesis the Colts are winless, and their defense is number one in the league. Add the great Arian Foster and the capable Matt Schaub to that and Houston seemed in position to make noise in the playoffs. Now Schaub, and his backup Matt Leinart are injured, and the season lies in the hands of TJ Yates. Even if the Texans hold on for the division title it'll be hard to win a playoff game with Yates at the helm.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
The 6-game losing streak is over, and a win is certainly a lot better than a loss. But there is a lot to be discouraged about. Rex Grossman played another bad game, but managed to hit one big throw, to Anthony Armstrong for the game-winning score. Graham Gano missed two more kicks, but both were blocked so the line deserves blame too. Roy Helu, the lone bright spot this year, scored on a incredible TD run in which he hurdled one tackler, bounced off another and scored. One of the best TD runs I've ever seen.



Picture of the Week
Jimmy Graham of the New Orleans Saints dunks the ball over the goal post after a touchdown in the Saints 49-24 over the Giants. Graham is the latest basketball player to follow in the footsteps of Tony Gonzalez and Antonio Gates to become a great tight end.



If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Green Bay Packers 38 New England Patriots 21
The Packers don't necessarily look unbeatable. The Patriots offense seems to be back on course, but their defense is still suspect. How delicious would it be if the undefeated Packers met the Patriots in the Super Bowl?

In the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time

I was watching Mike Francesa on the YES Network this afternoon, something I never do, because of his extended and informative interview with Mike Waters of the Syracuse Post-Standard. During the course of the interview, YES showed a picture of Jim Boeheim and Bernie Fine on the bench during a game, obviously taken from the broadcast of a Syracuse game. I noticed, in between the heads of Boeheim and Fine, seated in the first row, my [nephew] Roach.



It saddens me to see the likeness of Roach sullied by this ugly incident. Forever tied to the likely pedophile and his possible enabler.

Jim Boeheim's Arrogance May Be His Undoing

Syracuse's Jim Boeheim may be the secondary legendary coach in a month to lose his job over a sex scandal involving a trusted assistant.
The Bernie Fine mess has gotten more serious, and more weird, in the past 24 hours.
ESPN has released more information from Fine's accuser, Bobby Davis. This includes an audio tape of a conversation Davis had with Bernie Fine's wife, Laurie in October 2002. During the phone call, Laurie Fine seems to acknowledge her husband's molestation of Davis.
"I know everything that went on. I know everything that went on with him. Bernie has issues, maybe that he's not aware of, but he has issues," she says.
But that's not it. The latest twist in the story is that Davis claims he fucked Laurie Fine when he was 18, and even told Bernie about it.
Also, there is a new accuser, Zach Tomaselli, who says he was molested by Fine in a hotel room in Pittsburgh in 2002.
Tomaselli faces his own charge for alleged sexual assault against a young boy, and Tomaselli's own father says he is lying about Fine.
But that didn't stop the University from firing Bernie Fine.
In light of new evidence, the taped phone call is most damning, the school was right to get rid of Fine.
And Boeheim could be next. His aggressive comments about Davis -- he called him a liar and an extortionist -- are a real embarrassment now that it looks more likely he was defending a child molester.
A chastened Boeheim released a much more conciliatory statement saying "I deeply regret any statements I made that might have inhibited that from occurring or been insensitive to victims of abuse."

At this point I'm pretty sure Fine was molesting boys. And there's also a very good chance Boeheim knew about it, and his aggressive reaction was designed to discourage future complaints, and to make his denial seem more believable. This is absolutely terrible. If there is any shred of evidence to show Boeheim was a Paterno-esque enabler of a molester he should be fired immediately even if it torpedoes a very promising season.
And no student or alumnus should shed a tear, speak a word, stand on a lawn or tip a news truck in defense of him.
If this is true, Fine and Boeheim have sullied our University's reputation for years to come, and they should be the only targets of our anger.

Thankfully, it appears the University as a broader entity is doing -- and has done -- the right thing here. If that 2005 investigation was legitimate (Davis never handed over the tape of his call with Laurie Fine to the school), then this alleged problem may not turn out to be the kind of cancer that ate away at Penn State.

I Guess the Throwback Trend is Officially Over

Throwback jerseys, once the hottest trend are clearly no longer a hot fashion item. Mitchell and Ness is having a huge sale -- all jerseys are only $100 -- even ones that regularly sell for $275 or $300.
I've gotten a little too old to keep buying and wearing jerseys but they're cool to have for going to games.
So I may add this Mookie Wilson 1986 Batting Practice jersey to my collection.

Home-Court Advantage

Under the leadership of Dr. Darryl Gross Syracuse has billed itself as New York's College Team.
That certainly was accurate for the Season Tip Off NIT at Madison Square Garden this week. After a sparse crowd watched a mostly bumbling victory by Virginia Tech over Oklahoma State, the building came alive for the Orange as they took on Stanford.
But that decidedly partisan crowd was disappointed with how the Orange played for the first 30 minutes -- for the second game in a row.
But like the game against Va Tech the Orange turned it on and turned a 58-51 deficit into a 69-63 win.
The key play was a 3-pointer by Kris Joseph that started the run. K-Jo had made the Orange's last 3 baskets prior to that shot as well. When the game is on the line Joseph is emerging as the go-to guy who can get the ball and score, or create for others. All championship teams need a guy like that. And it's something Syracuse has lacked in the last two disappointing NCAA Tournament losses.



The other thing Syracuse has this year that has been absent in years past is depth. Though Jim Boeheim who loves burying players, especially young players, on the bench, is in the process of destroying that depth. Freshman Michael Carter-Williams only played 2 minutes in each of the two NIT games. And the more promising freshman, and the only capable big forward on the team, Rakeem Christmas, started both games, but played only 7 minutes total in the two games.
With James Southerland (my favorite player on this year's team) likely to wind up in Boeheim's doghouse again soon (for his indiscriminate shooting and indecisive defense) Boeheim will be back down to 7 players in his rotation soon.
Last year Boeheim stuck with Fab Melo (mostly because he had no choice) and it's paying off as Melo is playing much better this season, especially on defense in the middle of that zone. I don't want to jinx the young fella but right now I would have to say that Melo "shows promise."

Boeheim's biggest challenge this year will be managing his guards. He has the older, experienced players in Brandon Triche and Scoop Jardine. But I think we all agree that in most cases the two sophomores Dion Waiters and CJ Fair (Josh Pace with a jumpshot) are more reliable so far this season.
Three of those guys can play together if Boeheim wants to, and is able to go small. But at crunch time someone has to be the point guard, the orchestrator. Jardine, for all his play-making ability, really can't be trusted. So it will be interesting to see which of the other guys emerges.
Fair and Waiters each made big 3-point plays to key that run against Stanford. Those two guys are clearly the future of the program. How big a role they play in the present will determine if this season ends in a disappointing upset loss in the tournament the way so many Syracuse seasons have done.

Weekly Picks

I am in a terrible slump. I actually was having a good season through 7 weeks. Now I have no idea how to pick a correct game. This week I am not overthinking things. Let's see if that works.


houston -6 JACKSONVILLE
After I put them in the Super Bowl we learned Matt Schaub was out for the season. I don't think Matt Leinart is good but they have the talent to severely limit what he has to do. Especially against Jacksonville.

carolina -3 INDIANAPOLIS
I honestly think the Colts will go 0-16.

OAKLAND -3 chicago
I think the Bears will still figure out how to play without Cutler, enough to get into the playoffs. But it may take a short adjustment period.

ATLANTA -9 1/2 minnesota
Not sure if I think this one could be a blowout. But I'm pretty sure the Falcons are going to win it so I will roll the dice on the point spread.

BEST BET
SAN DIEGO -6 1/2 denver
The Chargers late season charge starts right now. Plus Tim Tebow still sucks as a passer. I just can't see him keeping this going.

Last Week: 2-3 (0 points)
Season: 26-29 (25 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (5-6)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (12-13)
Home Underdogs: 0-1 (0-1)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (7-7)
Road Underdogs: 0-2 (7-8)

Song of the Week

"Luv U Better" - LL Cool J
This song contains one of my favorite parts of any song ever.
"Do you think I meant to hurt you?
No
Do you think I meant to hurt you?
Noooooo-oh-oh-oh"

This Billboard Offends Me

There's a new billboard on the West Side Highway that I find highly offensive.



It's an ad for a generically named vokda, Wodka. It shows two dogs, a chihuahua in a Santa hat and an Afghan in a yarmulke.

It says "Christmas Quality. Hanukkah Pricing."

That's an overt reference that Christmas is better than Hanukkah. But it's also a subtle reference that Jews are cheap.

I don't have a problem with any of that. What bothers me is the poor dogs dressed up.

The NFL is Poop - Week 11

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
Graham Gano fucking sucks. End of rant.



Now They Love Cutler
The last time Caleb Hanie had to enter a game for the Chicago Bears it was because Jay Cutler was hurt and the Bears were in the NFC Championship game. At that point Bears fans insisted Cutler wasn't really hurt, and they hated him and never wanted to see him quarterback their team again. My how things have changed. Cutler has been mostly brilliant this season and Bears fans love him. But now Caleb Hanie is back. Cutler broke the thumb on his throwing hand while making a tackle. Without him Bears fans say all hope is lost. I say not so fast. If Hanie can go 3-3 down the stretch they can get a wildcard and maybe Cutler can return in time to play the winner of the NFC East or South. If not, the Bears can always sign Kyle Orton who was released by the Broncos.

Break Up the Dolphins
I really don't understand this, but the previously miserable Dolphins are now on a 3-game winning streak. I really don't see how they're playing so much better, but Matt Moore has been more consistent.

The Best Slate of Thanksgiving Games in a Long Time
Everyone is looking forward to this week's match-up of the Packers and Lions. It will be the first time in a long time the Lions will be relevant on Thanksgiving. Maybe since Barry Sanders retired. Though they sucked many years with him too. The Packers are still perfect, and once you get to double digits it starts to become real.
But that's not the game I'm looking forward to most, too many points. I will be anxiously watching the brothers Harbaugh go at it in the Ravens-49ers game. I feel like a lot of people are still doubting the Niners because they play in a week division. But they can play some defense which will make their match-up against the hard-hitting Ravens a great game to watch.


Non-Believers
I guess I will have to write this every week. I still don't think Tim Tebow is a legitimate NFL quarterback. But with a 4-1 record as a starter I have to admit he certainly does have something special that he calls upon to make plays when the game is on the line.

Picture of the Week
Referee Ron Winter gets trapped at the bottom of the pile of players trying to recover a fumble in the Ravens-Bengals game.



But Seriously...
Graham Gano really does fuckin suck. He has missed 8 field goals so far this year. He is 30th of 32 kickers in percentage. And it's not just long kicks like the ones he missed against Dallas, he has 3 misses in 6 tries from 30 - 39 yards. He missed 2 field goals against Dallas this time, 1 field goal in a 2-point game against them last time. And two misses in an 11-point loss to Miami, which the Skins would have at least had a chance at if not for Gano. And lest you think this is an abberation, Gano missed 11 field goals last year. He hasn't been over 70% either of the last two years. 24 kickers are above 80 this year. He is clearly one of the worst 3 kickers in the game, why won't they cut him and try someone new?

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Green Bay 35 Houston 3
Why not the Texans? They have the same record as Baltimore, Pittsburgh and New England. Only difference, is they are hot, on a 4-game winning streak. They also have a pretty decent schedule with 1 game remaining against all the weak teams in their divisions. An AFC title game in Houston would be a big surprise.

David Nelson, Scoring On -- And Off -- The Field

The sweetest moement of the NFL season so far came when Buffalo Bills wide receiver caught a touchdown pass against the Dallas Cowboys and ran around the field to give the ball to his girlfriend, Kelsi Reisch, a smoking hot Cowboys cheerleader.



Nelson is from Texas and has been dating Reisch for 4 years. There are rules against the fraternization of cheerleaders and players, but they don't seem to apply to different teams. Those rules are a complete joke anyway because no gold-digging hottie would be deterred from fucking a player by the threat of losing her $50 a game job.

We hope Kelsi and Nelson are very happy together.

A Fine Mess

Syracuse assistant basketball coach Bernie Fine is the latest coach to be accused of sexually molesting a child.
A former Syracuse ball boy named Bobby Davis, 39, has come forward and said Fine molested him hundreds of times between when he was 11 and 27.



Davis said he met Fine in 1983 when he was selling candy door-to-door in his neighborhood. Davis lived in a single-parent household. He says Fine took him under his wing, leading to him becoming a ball boy and traveling with the team, even to the 1987 Final Four.
Davis came forward with his claims to ESPN in 2003. They interviewed him but couldn't get anyone else to back up his story so they never aired the story. Davis also went to Syracuse Police who told him the statute of limitations had expired. He also went to Syracuse University. The University investigated for four months. They interviewed several people including four people Davis said would corroborate his story. None of them did so SU dropped the matter.
Now Davis's step-brother, Mike Lang, 45, is coming forward with similar allegations about Fine. And that is why ESPN is airing the story.
Lang says he was emboldened to come forward now because of the Penn State situation.
I guess those allegations make these a little easier to believe.
But that could cut both ways, they're more likely to be believed if they're telling the truth, but also if this were a plot, they'd be more likely to be believed in that case as well.
I'm not sure I believe them. I think it's very possible this happened, or something similar. But also relative to Penn State, there is a much greater chance this is completely false.
Jim Boeheim, whom Davis claims say him in Bernie Fine's hotel room, clearly does not believe these allegations:

"I know this kid, but I never saw him in any rooms or anything. It is a bunch of a thousand lies that he has told. You don't think it is a little funny that his cousin (relative) is coming forward? He supplied four names to the university that would corroborate his story. None of them did. There is only one side to this story. He is lying."

I understand why Boeheim is protecting his friend, but I think that tone is a little too harsh.
I think the University is doing a much better job. They took a serious look at this in 2005 and found nothing, and are taking a serious look again. Bernie Fine has been placed on administrative leave.
I hope this doesn't turn into another Penn State and ruin my alma mater too. But if it does I will advocate the same punishment: death to the perpetrator, prison for those who covered it up and a punch in the face for the students dumb enough to riot over it.