A Silver Medal And Her

Team USA hockey goalie Ryan Miller played great during the Olympics but still feels the sting of allowing the game-winning goal to Sidney Crosby in overtime of the gold medal game.
But maybe a romp in the sack with his girlfriend, Indian-American actress Noureen DeWulf will make him feel better.

3000 Words

Think of this next time you want to complain about your job (Chase looked at this and said "he going poopies daddy"):


Joannie Rochette, the most memorable Olympian of the 2010 Winter Games:


Lego Stephen Hawking:

I Guess He Meant It

One of my favorite moments of the Olympics Games came when U.S. Curling skip John Shuster missed another shot and said "I'm sick of this stupid game."
Announcer Colleen Jones said "he doesn't mean that" but then Shuster and his team withdrew from the U.S. Championships.
They cite physical and mental exhaustion as the reason but poor results probably caused all that.
Shuster is probably tired of reading about himself on the internet, though he does have a sense of humor about it saying he liked the "Honk if John Shuster Missed a Draw to Cost You a Curling Game" bumper sticker.

Maybe There is Something to This Petter Northug Stuff

"My name is Odd-Bjoern Hjelmeset. I skied the second lap and I fucked up today. I think I have seen too much porn in the last 14 days. I have the room next to Petter Northhug and every day there is noise in there. So I think that is the reason I fucked up. By the way, Tiger Woods is a really good man."
-- Norway silver medalist Odd-Bjoern Hjelmeset, on his performance in the men's 4 x 10 relay

This is an actual quote. I swear I did not make this up.

Post-Olympic Hangover

Final thoughts on the 2010 Winter Olympics.

Petter Northug led Norway to a come-from-behind silver medal in the cross country relay. He passed two skiers who had a big lead on him when he started his leg. Al Trautwig, calling the race for NBC said “Here comes Northug with his world class pole push.”

He also won the gold in the 50k, the so-called marathon of the winter. I haven't watched this race yet, but I will, hoping for more gold like that.

*****

Tanith Belbin roomed with Johnny Weir in Vancouver. She says they have the best-smelling room in the Olympic Village.



*****

Even a curling novice such as Mrs. Poop could easily identify the difference in skill level between the teams in the medal round and the U.S. team. Canada’s Cheryl Bernard could pass a curling stone through the eye of the needle then get cougar-iffic on a couple of 22-year-olds at a bar later that night.

*****

NBC really has to figure something out about their coverage for 2012 and 2014. Both of those games, in London and Sochi, Russia will take place several hours ahead of U.S. time zones. If NBC continues to insist on packing every important event into a primetime show the ratings will get even worse.
At Beijing Michael Phelps's races were scheduled for 10am local time so they could be shown in primetime here.
In Vancouver figure skating ended late, but at a reasonable enough time for a lot of people.
With Facebook, twitter and the web everyone knows the results of anything important by the time NBC shows it. I think they have to re-evaluate and show live events throughout the day on NBC.

*****

Donald Sutherland looks like a homeless man, not a famous actor. During one of the curling games the cameras caught him blowing his nose. Not sure why I found this so funny, but I did.

*****

Great showing by the U.S. hockey team, beating Canada, having an astounding outburst against Finland then scoring in the final minute to send the gold medal game to overtime. They didn't win but they were certainly fun to watch.

*****

For some reason I loved these games more than any Olympics I can remember possibly dating back to Calgary in 1988. The U.S. wins the most medals of any country ever, and Canada wins the most golds, maybe making it a little more excting. Plus a DVR makes it easy to watch all the events I want to see while eliminating those I don't care about.

Bring on Sochi!

Chase's Heel Turn

Ever since Team Canada beat Team USA in the gold medal hockey game something happened to Chase. He called me a hoser and starting chanting "Go Canada Go!"

What Do You Give Me For? Shaun White and Mirjam Ott

What do you give me for Shaun White and Mirjam Ott, the skip of Switzerland's curling team?

Maybe Jason Bay Would Bang Eve Muirhead

Jason Bay's biggest splash in spring training so far came when he explained the rules of curling to the baseball writers.
Bay's high school in Trail, British Columbia, Canada didn't have a baseball team, so he played on the curling team instead.
"I was the lead," Bay said. "I was the least important guy who threw the first two."
Then Bay was asked if the lead's rocks are the ones that simply get knocked out of the way, so he explained a recent rule change allowing a free guard zone to create more action.
"It's like shuffleboard, but what it used to be before they made these rules is that the guys that are really good, they would just play tic-tac and they would just take out every single rock for ten ends or nine ends and whoever hit the last rock would just win 1-0, so it was boring," Bay said. "So they made a rule that of the first three rocks, you can't hit them off the board. If you do, they put them back. You lose your shot and they put it roughly back to where they thought it was."


Bay is an avid fan of curling, and for a few years he curled alongside his father, Dave, in a Tuesday night league in his hometown. While many people around the world discover curling only every four years, Bay is a year-round fan of the sport, and has been following Canada’s teams in the Vancouver Olympics.

“It’s mesmerizing,” he said. “It’s a strategy game and it’s great on TV. You can see everything transpire. When the championships are on TV in Canada, you can’t turn it off.”

Bay is just one of several stars loving curling this Olympics, Wayne Gretzky, Carl Lewis and Donald Sutherland have all been spotted watching curling, and Vernon Davis is the honorary captain of the U.S. men's team.

Karmic Retribution

Dutch speedskater Sven Kramer losing gold in the most heart-breaking fashion possible. Kramer is the best long-distance speed skater in the world. He already won the 5,000 and thought he had won the 10,000 after cruising to the finish line 4 seconds ahead of his nearest competitor.

But when he finished he found out he was disqualified. With 8 laps to go Kramer started to switch to the outside lane as he was supposed to. His coach gesticulated wildly and told him to get to the inside lane. Oops. He skated the remainder of the race in wrong laned, got DQed, blamed the entire thing on his coach (rightfully so) and even shoved the guy as he tried to console him.



I happened to catch this because I was DVRing the coverage and the announcers had no idea what happened at first. How did they not see Kramer almost stop and briefly argue with his coach about the proper lane to be in. And how did they not know he had skated two consecutive laps on the inner?

Anyway, the coach Gerard Kemkers must feel like the biggest piece of shit alive right now, but it could be all Kramers fault.

Check out what happened after Kramer won the 5,000 nearly a week before.



He called the poor lady from NBC stupid because she wanted him to state his name, country and sport. Tape identification, pretty standard, but he took it has a huge insult since he'd just won the gold medal and everything. The lady should have just said "I'm here with Sven Kramer of the Netherlands who just won gold in the 5,000 meters speedskating" and she might have saved everyone, a lot of embarrassment.

But maybe next time Kramer will handle it a little better and avoid the karmic bitchslap which cost him gold.

Why is This More Offensive Than the Rest of The Performances?

It wouldn’t be the Olympics without a figure skating controversy. But this one doesn’t involve crooked Russian judges. It involves the costume for the Russian pair, Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabilin. For the second of three dances, the original dance, the theme was folk dances. Teams were asked to perform a traditional dance from a world culture, not necessarily their own.

Some teams performed something from their own country, like the Israeli team (the brother and sister duo of Roman and Alexandra Zaretsky who performed to “Hava Nagila.”

Others paid tribute to different cultures like Tanith Belbin and Ben Agosto’s Moldovian folk dance.



But Domnina and Shabilin did an Australian aboriginal dance complete with face paint and leaves. And they were criticized for culture theft. The pair researched aboriginal culture and what they came up with seems no different than the portrayal of aboriginees in other outlets I’ve seen. It also seemed no more hokey and contrived than any of the other dances.

On a side note, Domnina is a Poop favorite though possibly unbeknownst to most of you. The Oksana Domnina nipslip picture I linked to years ago has been a great source of hits for this blog. In the weeks leading up to and including the Olympics I’d say at least 100 hits per day are directly related to her nipple. Imagine if I got a Tanith Belbin nip slip!

Tanith Belbin's Badunkadunk

Four years ago we fell in love with U.S. ice dancer Tanith Belbin. But little did we know we were contributing to her disordered eating. According to a New York Times article Belbin has spent the last four years getting stronger and adding weight, 10 pounds supposedly, from 105 to 115 (she's 5'6"). Now she is better able to hold herself up since her legs and core are stronger.

"She never binged, purged or used laxatives, she said, but she restricted her calories to the minimum. She would eat a small breakfast, then later snack on celery or a few almonds to get her through the day. After practices, she was too weak to lift her arms. Once in her apartment, she would stare blankly ahead, sapped of energy.

When she could not control her hunger, she would eat a huge dinner and find herself two pounds heavier. It horrified her."



Here's what she looked like in 2006, bones and ribs visible:



And here's what she looks like now, not a major difference but a little more to her:

What's The Point of Winning a Bronze Medal if You Can't Use It To Get Girls to Pantomime Fellatio?

U.S. snowboarder Scotty Lago was sent home from the Olympics after some pictures surfaced of behavior unbecoming of an Olympian. At least according to the USOC. Lago and a female posed for photographs with the bronze medal he won in the halfpipe. Perhaps in a bit of Maplethorpian photography, the picture shows Lago with his shirt up, the girl on her knees, and the bronze medal precariously close to his junk.

Ice Dancing Is Like Kissing Your Sister

Of the 23 couples who will be competing in ice dancing at the Olympics, four are brother-sister combinations. That can be complicated when the compulsory dance is the sensuous tango.
All you need to know about how weird this will be is evidenced in this picture of John and Sinead Kerr:



The Wall Street Journal explains how these teams deal with the awkwardness.

TON's Favorite Olympian Ever

Meet Norwegian cross-country skier Petter Northug, bronze medalist in the individual sprint.

You Blew It!

For four years Lindsey Jacobellis has stewed over her loss in the snowboard cross at the 2006 Olympics and had to deal with the public embarrassment. In case you’ve forgotten like the incredibly obnoxious Mrs. Poop Jacobellis was the prohibitive favorite and cruising to victory when she did a trick (“dude she did a method!”) causing her to fall, and get passed. She won a silver but blew a chance at the gold.

Four years later, she won her opening heat and was leading the semifinal run when she lost her balance and overcorrected right into the flag on the other side. That’s an automatic DQ and four more years of waiting for the next chance to embarrass herself.



But that’s not as bad was what John Shuster did. Shuster who won a bronze medal in curling in 2006 under skip Pete Fenson, is now the skip himself, and he’s failing miserably. The skip gets the last rocks and he blew two major chances against Germany. Then with a chance against Norway in the 11th end, Shuster had the hammer, and an easy shot to the button for the win. He went right past the button and cost the U.S. the match. Horrible.

Jinxed and Loving It

One week after appearing on the cover of Sports Illustrated in a "hyper-sexualized position" skier Lindsey Vonn appeared inside the magazine's swimsuit in several "hyper-sexualized positions" this time wearing only a bathing suit -- or less.
But all this exposure maybe wasn't so good for Vonn whose Olympic dream may be in doubt thanks to a shin injury.
Bad weather postponed her event so she may be able to recover in time to participate.

What's Lindsey Vonn's Position?

Sports Illustrated's Winter Olympics Preview features U.S. skier Lindsay Vonn skiing down a mountain. At least that's what it looks like to me, but to some women it looks like a sex position, not a ski position.
"women are more likely than not to be in sexualized poses and not in action - and the most recent Vonn cover is no exception" according to a women's sports website.