Get Er Done

If Denny Hamlin wins the NASCAR Sprint Cup I will win $130. I bet on Hamlin in early May at the Conch's Bachelor Party. Hamlin leads 4-time defending champion Jimmie Johnson by 15 points. His lead would have been bigger but his crew chief cautiously made him stop for gas last week costing him valuable track position. Instead, he can win if he finishes 3 places behind Johnson (assuming they both earn the same amount of bonus points) which would likely mean a tie, Hamlin owns the tiebreaker with more wins.

Either way, I'm proud of my bet, showing once again my NASCAR knowledge.

Mrs. Poop's Awesome Speech at Poppy's Retirement Dinner

And she didn't cry!

The Democrats Need Someone with Proven Leadership in Washington

Representative Heath Shuler says he will challenge Nancy Pelosi for the position of House Minority Leader when Congress goes back in session in the new year. Shuler has no chance of winning because despite her insanity Democrats still love her. Also, Shuler is about as conservative as a Democrat can be (he’s from North Carolina, big on family values and a fiscal conservative) which means he’s mostly unpopular inside his own party. What he’s hoping to accomplish by this is to bring the Democrats back to the center instead of the far left where Obama and Pelosi have taken them.



I’m a major supporter of Shuler’s because I like his politics and because he’s the best quarterback the Redskins have had since Mark Rypien. Unfortunately his career was derailed by injuries. But maybe it was a blessing in disguise because now he was forced to turn to a second career, one in which he can accomplish goals toward a greater good.

Upon Further Review

ESPN completely blew its initial reporting on Donovan McNabb's new contract causing me to overreact.
Turns out the $40m guaranteed figure was completely wrong. The only thing he is guaranteed is $3.75m. They paid him that money for the right to lock him in at $12.5m for next season. But if this year ends in disaster (seems quite possible) and they decide to part ways, they can. If not, they pay him a $10m bonus and another $2.5m in base salary for 2011. After that they can cut him at any time, like any other NFL contract. If not, his salary is about $13m per, not including incentives.
So while the deal is bad, and especially ill-timed it is not the franchise killer I feared when I read ESPN’s initial erroneous reporting.

Song of the Week

"Aston Martin Music" - Rick Ross featuring Drake and Chrisette Michele
I like Rick Ross, love Chrisette Michele and hate Drake. 2 out of ain't bad.
Plus this is the first rap I've ever heard to mention Elroy Jetson.

The NFL is Poop - Week 10

The Most Embarrassing Loss in History
I have never seen a more disgraceful performance in my life than the stinker the Redskins put up against the Eagles. The fact that they ended up scoring 4 touchdowns to make it seem less bad at 59-28 doesn’t wipe away the worst first quarter in the history of the NFL. The Redskins allowed 28 points (and that doesn’t include the touchdown on the first play of the 2nd quarter), and put up 23 yards while making no first downs. The fact that this came at home was bad enough but the timing of it makes it even worse. The Redskins just gave a 5-year, $78m contract to one of the worst starting QBs in the NFL (29th out of 34 qualifiers in passer rating) and then get smoked like this on Monday Night Football. McNabb finished with 17 for 31 for 295 yards and 2 touchdowns including a couple nice long balls. But don’t let that hide the facts. He absolutely sucked while this game was even the least bit competitive. 2 for 6 for six yards and no first downs. Anything he did after doesn’t matter, the game was over at that point. And we are signed up for 5 more years of this shit.

Best Performance Ever
Michael Vick just played the best game any quarterback has ever played. 20 for 28 for 333 yards, doesn’t sound great but when you dig deeper and see how he did early, the perfect passes he threw, with high degrees of difficulty, I’d be hard pressed to remember a finer performance. And he had another 80 yards and 2 touchdowns running. Granted the Redskins defense provided little or no resistance (at least in part due to the fact they were on the field for the entire first quarter) but he was just plain awesome. I’m not sure what they did to him in prison but he has become a much better quarterback. He could always throw, he could always run, but now he is hitting the right receivers at the right time. Even though he missed a few games, at this point it would be almost impossible not to give him the MVP award.



The Most Amazing That Did Not Happen in the Redskins-Eagles Game
An amazing Hail Mary completion by David Garrard to Mike Thomas to give the Jaguars a 31-24 win over the Texans. You almost never see these plays actually work. I don’t blame Glover Quin for batting the ball as he did, that is what you are supposed to do and the Jags just got really lucky to grab the deflection.



If the Super Bowl Were Played Right Now
New England Patriots 31 Atlanta Falcons 17
Note: Because the league is so topsy-turvy this year, I am bringing this back for a little while.
A week ago the Patriots got bamboozled by the Cleveland Browns then they dominated the Pittsburgh Steelers on the road. Who else would you pick from the AFC? The Jets? They just played three bad games in a row and only emerged 2-1 because the Lions and Browns are inferior. The Ravens? They just lost to the Falcons, though in very questionable fashion (uncalled offensive pass interference by Roddy White). The Colts? Yeah they have Peyton Manning but everyone else is hurt. I actually do like the Raiders and the Chargers but I need to see 2 or 3 more wins from each before I’m a believer.
As for the NFC, the Falcons have the best record, the Giants just got embarrassed by the Cowboys, the Bears are the worst 6-3 team ever and though I like the Packers they have a lot of injuries and some poor play too.

This Makes No Fuckin Sense

Many of you who read this blog do so because you want my unique perspective on things. So I assume many of you are wondering what I think of the news that Donovan McNabb has been given a 5 year $78 million dollar extension by the Redskins.
I think Dan Snyder must be fuckin nuts.
And I think Mike Shanahan must not be running the show.
Shanahan rightfully benched McNabb for being terrible, and it's like Snyder felt the need to apologize. I have no idea why this happened now, with no one interested in his services for next year and the possibility of a lockout looming.
Maybe Snyder thinks he can salvage this season by making McNabb happy.
But he can't McNabb isn't good anymore. He's the 25th rated QB in the NFL. You can easily replace that.
Colt McCoy is better than him right now, why wouldn't we dump McNabb and try to get someone else in the draft.
This is why all my teams suck. An ownership unwilling to bite the bullet and suck, instead choosing the path of expensive contracts for old shitty veterans.
In about a year, the Redskins will be wanting to do to McNabb what they wanted to do to Albert Haynesworth in the summer, ie cut him and pay him $40m guaranteed for one year of service.

Weekly Picks

If Jerricho Crotchery throws Santonio Holmes a block in overtime I'm celebrating a 5 point week. Instead I'm licking my wounds and remembering why I hate the Jets. Lots of games I like this week, because there are so many spreads that are essentially pickems.

new york jets -3 CLEVELAND
I think the Jets are better. I recognize the Browns are good but they get lucky too. Maybe the Jets will be the first team to make Colt McCoy look like a rookie.

houston +1 1/2 JACKSONVILLE
The Texans are a better team. The Jags are very up and down and I think this is their time to be down.

philadelphia -3 WASHINGTON
We suck. The Eagles are much better. The last game was a fluke. Even if we hurt Vick again we're not going to win this game.

dallas +13 1/2 NEW YORK GIANTS
Last week Dallas lost by 38 and the Giants lost by 34. Those results are rare in the NFL.

BEST BET
minnesota -1 CHICAGO
The only quarterback who makes Brett Favre look cautious is Jay Cutler. The Bears are a bad team in a 5-3 record and I think the Vikings might be able to get a little something going.


Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 22-23 (25 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (6-3)
Home Favorites: 00 (7-6)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 1-2 (6-11)
Road Underdogs: 2-0 (8-6)

Get It While It Lasts

Throughout the history of time there popped up popular services offering unlimited access to copyrighted content (napster comes to mind). Those services are almost always shut down immediately. But for a brief time they provide access to all the content you want, totally free.
Right now we are living in the age of atdhe.net
The site offers access basically every game in the four major professional sports giving you basically free access to NFL's Sunday Ticket, MLB's Extra Inning and NBA's League Pass. Thanks to atdhe.net I have seen every Redskins game this year. Wait, maybe that's not such a good thing. I also get the Red Zone channel, which is awesome.
But perhaps the best feature is the free pay-per-views. I watched UFC 121 live for free. And if you're into that sort of thing tonight's Pacquiao-Margarito fight purports to be available free of charge as well.
Who knows if the site will still be up by tonight, but if it is, we should enjoy it while it lasts.

The NFL is Poop - Week 9

Never to Be Heard From Again
The Dallas Cowboys finally, mercifully pulled the trigger on Wade Phillips. The team was 1-7 and just got embarrassed 45-7 on Sunday Night Football, which is often the most watched program in America each week. Jerry Jones had sworn he wasn’t going to fire Phillips in the middle of the season but he had to. He never should have made such a strong pronouncement in Phillips’s favor, but either way, this had to be done. And there is no way he will never get a head coaching job. He is one of the worst coaches I have ever seen and I have no idea why he was ever hired and rehired in the first place.

There’s Still Some Magic Left
Brett Favre is clearly over the hill. But evidently that hill doesn’t go straight down. Favre recaptured some of his old magic by leading the Vikings on two touchdown drives in the fourth quarter with a couple of great passes to Visanthe Shiancoe. That those two drives came after Favre drove his team to the 2 and got intercepted, then to the 1 and threw a bad pass on 4th down for an incompletion. But the Cardinals last 4 drives including overtime netted minus-8 yards giving Favre plenty of chances to tie the game.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
I don’t do this running gimmick every week, but if I did it right now I might have the choose the Raiders and the Giants. The Giants are clearly the class of the NFC. Not only are they rushing the passers as they did in their Super Bowl season they are scoring more than 32 points per game over their 5-game winning streak. And the Raiders over the last 3 games don’t just look like a good team, they look like a Super Bowl contender. With the Jets, Patriots, Colts and Steelers all losing the in the past 2 weeks the Raiders are the only AFC team with a winning streak as long as 3 games. They are outscoring opponents 115-37 (38-12 on average). They’re now second in the league in rushing yards per game which I think could translate well later in the season.

Here They Come Again
Despite playing without Antonio Gates, Malcom Floyd and Legedu Naanee, Philip Rivers used Randy McMichael and Seyi Ajirotutu in a win over the Texans. Rivers has thrown for 2,944 yards in 9 games (327 yards a game), well ahead of Dan Marino’s record setting pace. That Rivers is doing it despite major injuries to his receiving corps is leading many to believe the Chargers have one more comeback in them. It seems every year they have huge preseason expectations, disappoint initially, then rebound to make the playoffs. Right now they are 4-5 with games remaining against the Raiders and Chiefs (direct division competition) and they end the season with San Francisco, Cincinnati and Denver. There other games are next week vs. Denver and the following week the Colts. Even if they fall to 4-7, they could still win their last 5 games and win the division at 9-7.

Obligatory Redskins Bye Week Post
No way we beat the Eagles twice in one season. Not with Michael Vick playing the way he is and Donovan McNabb playing the way he is. It looks like McNabb will be the starter, and hopefully he is ready to prove his doubters wrong. He said the Eagles made a mistake after he beat them the last time. With a win here the Redskins remain in playoff contention and he can prove his own coach wrong this time.

Song of the Week

"You Be Killin Em" - Fabolous
I love Fab, so glad he's back, haven't heard from him in a while.

What Took So Long?

Fastest solve in the history of Wheel of Fortune



Only one letter. Amazing. I love how Pat Sajak is completely dumbfounded when she says she wants to solve. She defends herself by saying it's a prize puzzle, but really, her move was riskier. She would have been better off spinning one more time, choosing a T and confirming her inkling about the puzzle. Pat was even more suprised when she got it right.

But the biggest shock is that this chick went to Penn State, so she's lucky she knows the alphabet.

Weekly Picks

It's funny how these posts are getting far fewer comments this year than last year when I was stinking up the joint.

tampa bay +8 1/2 ATLANTA
In Josh we trust.

arizona +8 MINNESOTA
The Vikings aren't good enough to give this many points to anyone.

pittsburgh -4 1/2 CINCINNATI
The Steelers are really good, they will bounce back.

new england -4 CLEVELAND
The best team in the NFL against a frisky but still below-average team. This is why I pick so many road teams. If this game were in Gillette it'd be 10, I just don't see how home-field can be worth this much.

BEST BET
new york jets -4 DETROIT
Exactly what I am looking for, a good team coming off a bad loss playing a bad team coming of a nice win.

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 19-21 (23 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (6-2)
Home Favorites: 2-0 (7-6)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (5-9)
Road Underdogs: 1-2 (6-6)

Bet on the Mets and the Mob Will Be After You

Longtime Mets equipment manager Charlie Samuels was suspended by the team because of his involvement in an FBI investigation into mob-run gambling.
Samuels is accused of making illegal sports bets with mob bookies. He bet on the NFL and on horse-racing, but not baseball. He placed bets from work. He placed bets for other team employees, but not players. He's also suspected of stealing bats, balls and jerseys from the clubhouse. And in his role as associate travel director (aka assistant to the traveling secretary) he may have skimmed money off hotel bookings.

Now, here's what really happened: Samuels kept betting on the Mets to win. As we know the Mets always lose, so he lost a lot of Monday and the bookies threatened to break his knees. And as Dr. Farthing told us: "When you owe a bookie a lot of money, and he blows off one of your toes, you still owe him the money. Doesn't seem fair."

Another life ruined by the horrible Mets.

Guess Who's Coming to Thanksgiving Dinner

Uncle Mick!

The Case the Lawyers Are Talking About

In April 2009, Juliet Breitman, 4, and Jacob Kohn, 5, were racing their bicycles, under the supervision of their mothers, Dana Breitman and Rachel Kohn, on the sidewalk of a building on East 52nd Street. At some point in the race, they struck an 87-year-old woman named Claire Menagh, who was walking in front of the building and, according to the complaint, was “seriously and severely injured,” suffering a hip fracture that required surgery. She died three months later of unrelated causes. Her estate sued the children and their mothers, claiming they had acted negligently during the accident.

That's the story. Here's the ruling: the case can continue, but no ruling has been made yet as to whether the kids are guilty of negligence. Previous cases have set the precedent that a child under 4 is not capable of negligence. Since the girl was nearly 5, the judge allowed it to go forward.

Here's my take: I think children this young are capable of understanding risk. I am 100% sure that if Chase were riding his bike and someone was in the way he would know enough to stop, slow down or try to avoid that person. But then again, if someone walked out in front of him suddenly, or if he were racing and distracted, he might not.

I really don't know what to decide so I am going to punt. Here is my ruling: What is the difference if you sue a 4-year-old? She can't be held liable for monetary damages, can she? Future earnings? You wouldn't seek a criminal penalty, certainly not for this.

So the parents should be held responsible since they were "supervising." They're the ones who should have known that a bike race on a crowded Manhattan street was not a good idea.

The NFL is Poop - Week 8

I Guess the Big Story This Week Involves the Redskins
I didn't blame Mike Shanahan when he embarrassed Albert Haynesworth in the preseason and I don't blame him for embarrassing Donovan McNabb now. The Redskins were winning that game by 5 points with 4 1/2 minutes left and they had the ball. No way can you lose a game in that situation. But Donovan threw a horrible interception. Brining in Rex Grossman was probably hasty, but McNabb has shown no ability to string together a drive in clutch situations. He couldn't do it against Houston or Indianapolis. I feel strongly McNabb will be the starter after the bye against the Eagles. But in half a season I have learned why Eagles fans complained about him for 11 years.

How Bout Them Cowboys
Jerry Jones has to fire Wade Phillips. It's obvious the team has quit on him. Yes, Tony Romo is hurt, but they were bad with him too. And nothing makes me happier.

You Ain't So Bad
All the talk this year so far has been centered around how the 5 best teams in the league are in the AFC. Until the Steelers and Jets got thumped by NFC teams, the Saints and the Packers. I still think the AFC is a much stronger conference, but at least now we think it's competitive.

What a Dick
Randy Moss just got kicked off his second team in a month. Moss just can't keep his mouth shut. People like Moss, and Terrell Owens, think "keeping it real" means saying exactly what you think about everything at the exact moment you think it. Moss criticized Brad Childress's play-calling, said he love Belichick then said of the catering provided by the team "who ordered this crap? I wouldn't feed this to my dog." That did it. He's now looking for a new team, and no doubt he'll find one. I've heard the Rams mentioned, but I think that would be a big mistake to saddle Sam Bradford with that.

Josh Freeman is Good
I really like the Tampa Bay combination of Josh Freeman, LaGarrette Blount and Mike Williams. I think they are the foundation for a good team for many years, in addition to the strong defense they are building. Unlike McNabb, Freeman continues to make plays late in games to give his team the win. Freeman has six fourth-quarter comebacks in 16 career starts. "It's like he almost did that on purpose," coach Raheem Morris said. "He is throwing games to get another fourth-quarter comeback." Blount had one of the best runs I've ever seen to seal the game, combing a spin move and a hurdle to get the Bucs out of bad field position and prevent the Cardinals from getting the ball back.

This Could Be the Start of Something Big
Every year I fall in love with the Chargers. Every year they start slowly. Every year I give up on them. Every year they launch a huge comeback and win almost all the rest of their games. If that's to happen again, the win over the Titans was a good first step. Philip Rivers has been playing great, if the rest of the team (especially the special teams) joins him they will win the division again.

Song of the Week

"All I Want is You" - Miguel f/ J. Cole
The thing I like about this song is very subtle. I like the stilted way he sings, pausing every few words so as not to overwhelm the music.

Tear Down the Playground

An old saw referencing our increasingly reactive culture says that every time a kid falls a playground is closed. I didn't think this was literally true, but I suppose it is.

"Elementary school playgrounds in one West Virginia county are losing their swing sets.

Swings are being removed from Cabell County schools in southern West Virginia in part because of lawsuits over injuries.

Cabell County schools safety manager Tim Stewart said Wednesday that a lot of parents are accusing him of being un-American, but he says the cost of maintaining a safe surface is too expensive.

Stewart says a lawsuit in the past year involved a youngster who broke his arm jumping off a swing like Superman. It was settled for $20,000.

Other equipment such as monkey bars will remain. Stewart says the schools are able to maintain the proper protection underneath them."

It's only a matter of time until the monkey bars go too. And eventually our kids will play in foam rubber rooms where no one ever gets hurt and no one is good or bad. And when that day comes kids in China will kick our kids' asses.

Weekly Picks

Still nailing those best bets at a pretty good rate so I have a respectable score despite a sub-.500 record.

denver +1 1/2 SAN FRANCISCO
Nowhere to go but up for the Broncos.

miami +2 CINCINNATI
The Dolphins are a better team. And they are 3-0 on the road.

tennessee +3 SAN DIEGO
I admit I was wrong about the Chargers. When will the oddsmakers admit the same thing?

INDIANAPOLIS -5 1/2 houston
The Texans aren't going to be the Colts twice this year.

BEST BET
NEW ENGLAND -5 minnesota
Brett Favre is done. I firmly expect to see Tarvaris Jackson in this game.

Last week: 3-2 (4 point)
Season: 16-19 (19 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (5-2)
Home Favorites: 2-1 (5-6)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (5-9)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (5-4)