Song of the Week

"Blinded By the Light" - Manfred Mann's Earth Band
I know the lyric is "deuce" but he says "douche." Either intentionally or because of a speech disorder, but he says "douche."
Originally a Bruce Springsteen song, but he enunciated "deuce" so it never became popular.

Blake Griffin Breaks Hand on Equipment Manager's Face

"Los Angeles Clippers forward Blake Griffin injured his right hand after hitting a member of the team's equipment staff during an argument, multiple sources told ESPN's Michael Eaves.

According to the sources, Griffin and the equipment staffer got into an argument in a restaurant during the team's trip to Toronto. Griffin hit the man, who then left the restaurant and went outside. Griffin followed him outside and hit him again.

Griffin suffered a suspected fracture in his hand in the incident, sources told ESPN's Marc Stein and Ramona Shelburne early Tuesday morning.

The equipment staffer's face was injured, sources told Eaves. Both Griffin and the equipment staffer were sent home after the incident. Griffin and teammate DeAndre Jordan are good friends with the staffer involved in the incident, according to sources. Griffin, in fact, has vacationed with the staff member."

I can't wait to see who this equipment manager is, but I doubt he would be someone with whom Griffin could have a fair fight.
Apparently the team has not fired the equipment manager but I bet that is coming, along with a nice pile of cash for him to keep his mouth shut.
Pretty crazy though that the guy ran outside and Griffin followed him and beat on him some more.

Weekly Picks

Every year I lean towards the chalk. I pick 1 vs 2 in the championship games. This year I pick two 6s and what happens? 1 vs 2 in both conferences.

new england -3 DENVER

BEST BET
CAROLINA -3 arizona

Ambivalence

The Mets have signed Yoenis Cespedes for 3 years, $75 million, with $27.5 million in the first year and an opt-out for Cespedes after year 1.
I like the deal. I think the Mets got a good player for a short contract. It's a lot of money, but in baseball nowadays it's better to pay more money for fewer years, than to get a long-term discount.
The Mets get an excellent hitter, a right-handed power bat, something they didn't have.
If he hits the way he did last year for the Mets, at an MVP level, he will make the entire lineup better and be well worth the money.
And he will do it all while giving the Mets another year to evaluate Lagares and Conforto while not totally relying on them to perform.

BUT... This move really hurts the Mets defense. Lagares is a great centerfielder and Yoenis is a very good leftfielder. Cespedes is an average centerfielder and Conforto was good last year, but there's reason to believe he benefited from a small sample size.
The Mets are spending a lot of money on two bad defensive middle infielders (Cabrera & Walker) and weakening the outfield too might be a bad idea, especially in a big park.

Also, Cespedes is not as good as he was last year. His OPS in 2013 and 2014 were 736 and 751. Last year he improved to 870. If he reverts to sub-800, he would not have the positive impact we hope for. Also, he would not have the suitors next year and would like opt in for two more years with the Mets.

Lastly, I don't like his attitude. He's made some bone-headed plays and he doesn't always try hard.

In summary, if we get the Cespedes of late 2015, the Mets made a great move.
If we get the Cespedes of 2013 & 2014, we're stuck with a basically average outfielder at an exorbitant cost for 3 years.

Only time, and Cespedes will tell.

10% of People Surveyed Are Trolls

You may have heard the report that 10% of college graduates believe Judge Judy serves on the Supreme Court.
There is no way that is true. 10% probably never heard of her, were joking, thought the question was stupid.
And believe me, I am not overestimating the intelligence of the American public, or holding a college in degree in artificially high esteem. I just think these polls and questions are dumb and not taken seriously.

But the real reason I post this story is because Razor is actually a huge fan of Judge Judy's and wishes she did in fact serve on the Supreme Court.

Song of the Week

"Starlight" - Muse
I'm not a big fan of this music, so I can't tell you which came first, Muse or Coldplay, but they sound alike to me.
I do like this song but I'm willing to change my mind if I found out the lead singer married a douchey actress.

Weekly Picks

Lousy start to the playoffs.
The only game I got right was the only one I wanted to lose. Fuckin Steelers really pissed that one away.
And there are so many injuries this week that it's hard to figure out whom to pick.

NEW ENGLAND -4 1/2 kansas city
If Gronk plays they will win.

seattle +1 1/2 CAROLINA
I picked the Seahawks to win it all before the playoffs started so I'm sticking with them even though I wish I were getting 3 1/2 instead.

pittsburgh +7 1/2 DENVER
Very difficult to be confident in Pittsburgh without Antonio Brown and an injured Ben Roethlisberger but the Broncos do have problems of their own.

BEST BET
ARIZONA -7 green bay
I know the Packers exploded and destroyed my beloved Redskins last week but I still wasn't wowed by them, I think the Skins just choked and made bad plays and bad decisions.

Last week: 1-3 (0 points)
Season: 47-42 (43 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (9-9)

John Starks Wasn't Sure Either

Columbia University's basketball team played a team from Central Pennsylvania College over the weekend.
In advance of the game the Columbia Spectator wrote:

"...forward John Starks Jr.—son of former New York Knicks guard John Starks—is second on the squad with 17.1 points per contest. "

Only problem is, despite the name, he is not the son of that John Starks.

Columbia issued an apology.

What makes this even crazier is that when we were discussing this story, someone walked in with a brand new intern and said "this is Grant Hill."

Turns out this intern's father went to Duke, his name was Hill obviously, and Hill was a recent Duke star, so he named his son Grant.

Song of the Week

"Changes" - David Bowie
This is pretty much the only David Bowie song I know, because it was in "The Amazin Era," a recap of the first 25 years of the Mets existence, chronicling the part of their history when the Mets traded Tom Seaver and Dave Kingman on the same day.

Get Your Globes Out

Katy Perry joked that she had to "get my globes out" for the awards show.
And did she ever, winning this year's Poop Golden Globes Award.

Pissed Off

Poker legend Antonio Esfandiari was disqualified from a poker tournament for urinating at the table.
Esfandiari was involved in a large prop bet (rumored to be $50,000) with hedge fund manager and poker whale Bill Perkins.
Starting at midnight on Saturday, Esfandiari could not walk, he had to lunge everywhere for the next 48 hours.

He spent most of the first day lunging to the bathroom in his hotel room.
But Day 2 he had to play the $5,000 buy-in Main Event at the PCA (Pokerstars Caribbean Adventure).
He was allowed to take the shuttle from his hotel to where the tournament was being held, but had to lunge all the way to his table.
Well that walk evidently took a lot out of him, because at least 8 hours later his legs were so shot that he didn't think he could make it to the bathroom and back.
He got a bottle, a towel and a bunch of people to stand around him.
Someone saw, and he was disqualified from the tournament for "a major breach of etiquette."
Afterwards Antonio was apologetic. But not sorry for waiting out the rest of the bet on a couch with Sarah Herring.

Pulverized

On their first play from scrimmage in their Wild Card round matchup with the Redskins, the Green Bay Packers got 11 yards. On their next 12 plays, the Packers lost four yards.
During that time the Redskins took an 11-0 lead. But it was the points they didn't score that told the story.
Desean Jackson holding the ball behind him, instead of in front, costing the Redskins 4 points

Then Dustin Hopkins missed an extra point, so what should have been 16-0 was only 11-0.

And then the Packers woke up. Their next five drives resulted in 4 touchdowns, 1 2-point conversion and a field goal for 32 points.

The difference was not momentum or any psychological mumbo-jumbo you might here, it was strategic. The Packers went no-huddle and the Redskins were ill-prepared to deal with it. Twice they were caught substituting, both times drawing penalties, but even worse, the second time resulted in a touchdown.

They were also picked apart physically as Rodgers was zipping the ball all over the field for short passes that set up easy first-down conversions.

Another fatal error was a crucial fumble by Kirk Cousins when the Redskins led 11-7 and were driving.

While the defense was crumbling the offense suddenly became unable to move the ball with its previous efficiency.

And the field position game the Redskins had dominated turned against them as well.

This was an unfortunate way for a surprisingly good season to end.

The Redskins had been picked to finish last in the division by pretty much everyone, with record projections consistently between 2-14 and 4-12.

To be honest, the Redskins weren't that good. They were slightly better than the competition, losing all four games they played against winning teams (Panthers, Patriots, Jets and including this one against the Packers).

I'm still not sold on Kirk Cousins as a great NFL QB but the Redskins certainly did better when they unleashed him later in the season after running on first and second down every series for the first 6 weeks (or so it seemed).

But the Redskins definitely have to give Cousins a big contract and bring him back. With a solid offensive line and a talented group of backs and receivers, especially emerging star Jordan Reed, maybe Cousins can continue to improve.

The defense needs a lot of help, especially the linebackers and defensive backs.

But it was a fun season thanks to the shocking performance of Kirk Cousins on the field (best QB in the NFL over final 10 weeks) and in the bowels of the stadium.



And also the hilarious rotundity of video-bombing defensive tackle Chris Baker.

And I like that!

I Like That!

Kirk Cousins bought himself an old school starter jacket on eBay.
Not the cool solid-color hooded one like my beloved Minnesota Twins jacket, but the second generation which I believe was a pullover.
Still pretty cool for the quarterback of the Redskins to walk into the facility rocking this.

Weekly Picks

I am picking almost all the road teams to keep my streak going.

HOUSTON +3 kansas city

seattle -5 MINNESOTA

green bay +1 WASHINGTON

BEST BET
pittsburgh -3 CINCINNATI

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 46-39 (43 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (9-8)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (15-17)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-2)
Road Favorites: 1-2 (18-13)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (11-7)

*1 win is missing somehow, I can't find it

NFL Playoff Predictions

I'm going nuts this year, picking both #6 seeds to make the Super Bowl.

AFC
Pittsburgh Steelers over Cincinnati Bengals
Houston Texans over Kansas City Chiefs

Pittsburgh Steelers over Denver Broncos
New England Patriots over Houston Texans

Pittsburgh Steelers over New England Patriots
NFC
Seattle Seahawks over Minnesota Vikings
Green Bay Packers over Washington Redskins

Seattle Seahawks over Carolina Panthers
Arizona Cardinals over Green Bay Packers

Seattle Seahawks over Arizona Cardinals

Super Bowl L
Seattle Seahawks over Pittsburgh Steelers

3000 Words

Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears and Ryan Gosling in the Mickey Mouse Club

Guy makes a portrait of Steph Curry out of salt.

Continuing in the tradition of Dingle-Berry, Short-White-Cox and Clark-Griswold, the Sacramento Kings show they're just like many of us: they have Gay-Cousins.

Song of the Week

"This Will Be" - Natalie Cole
Natalie Cole passed away recently of congestive heart failure at the age of 65.

This song has one of the best endings ever, I can't even do it justice in print, you just gotta listen. She runs off a bunch of verbs and other declaration says "love" 18 times and then about 10 "from now on"s.

New Year, New Adventures

I would like to start off 2016 by announcing the arrival of a new Baby Poop due in May.

Here's Chase and Julian's reaction when we told them.



"It's so crazy. I feel like it's not real."

We wanted to find out the gender, for obvious reasons, to figure out whether we needed to go out and buy a bunch of pink shit or just go up into the attic and bring down the blue shit.

So Mrs. Poop got the results of the test in an envelope, gave it to the people at Party City who filled an opaque black balloon with the corresponding color shredded paper.

We periscoped the big reveal:



Mrs. Poop was able to borrow an at-home Doppler, so here is the baby's heartbeat:



And to answer the question all of you are asking: No, it was not an accident or a surprise. This was the result of very careful planning.
We had to wait to buy a house to have another baby. We wanted to do DisneyWorld also. And Mrs. Poop had always wanted a May baby so she could have June, July and August off. Baby is due May 27th.

Weekly Picks

We're putting together a good run late in the season. Again watch out for this week's Steelers, the team that has a lot to play for, against a dead team, and loses anyway.

seattle +6 ARIZONA

new york jets -2 1/2 BUFFALO

pittsburgh -10 1/2 CLEVELAND

st. louis -3 SAN FRANCISCO

BEST BET
HOUSTON -6 1/2 jacksonville

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 43-37 (43 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (8-8)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (14-17)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-2)
Road Favorites: 1-0 (17-11)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (10-7)

Thoughts on the Force Awakens

Do not read this if you haven't seen it but want to.

I liked the movie, but didn't love it. If I had to give it a grade I would give an A-, maybe a B+.

A couple of issues:
I thought Finn was too jokey. He wasn't wise-cracking like Han Solo. Just a little annoying, and didn't provide comic relief, just disrupted the tension.
I hate, hate HATE when a show or a movie seemingly kills off a character, the other characters believe he's dead, and then he comes riding in when he's needed most, as happened with Poe Dameron. It's intellectually lazy movie-making.

But my main issue is I felt that not enough was made of The Force. What has always separated Star Wars from other science fiction or action movies is they actually had a fascinating plot point. The Force, the good and evil inside all of us. Do you give in to your negative feelings, fear and anger, or do you let the good in you shine through. There were opportunities to do so here, they just passed on them.

Problems that in retrospect weren't really problems:
1) The movie was too derivative of the originals. Yes, a droid containing a crucial piece of information is being pursued across the galaxy by evil people and good people have to see that it doesn't fall into the wrong hands, culminating in the destruction of the super weapon. How many Death Star and Death Star-ish things can they possibly build.



Yes, but...if they had completely abandoned the earlier movies I would have been even angrier. I know there's some middle ground there but probably a very thin target to hit.

2) It was too predictable. As the movie wore on you knew Kylo Ren was the son of Han and Leia and you got a pretty good idea that he was going to kill Han. You knew they were going to blow up the Death Star and you knew they were going to find Luke.

Yes, but...if they had a serious of ridiculous plot twists I would have been even angrier.

In summary, it was a good movie. I really liked it. There were some chill-inducing scenes. The special effects looked great. It is one of the few movies I really think does need to be viewed on the big screen. I think they have set up the next movie to be phenomenal. It can leave behind the past and blaze its own trail. Is Rey Kylo's sister? Is she Obi-Juan's descendant? Will Luke train her, and a new order of Jedi Knights? Will Kylo Ren be redeemed in the end as was Darth Vader.

I can't wait to find out.

But the boys certainly seemed to like it: