Fuck Da Eagles Heather (Rothstein, a jew?) may not have the career of Jenn Sterger but they both have Maxim spreads and Paul's Poop posts.
Friday, February 02, 2007
Foul-Mouthed Slut Cashes In
The hottie who appeared on Fox's telecast of the Eagles-Saints playoff game wearing a shirt that said "Fuck Da Eagles" has posed for Maxim (just the website, not the magazine).
Fuck Da Eagles Heather (Rothstein, a jew?) may not have the career of Jenn Sterger but they both have Maxim spreads and Paul's Poop posts.
Fuck Da Eagles Heather (Rothstein, a jew?) may not have the career of Jenn Sterger but they both have Maxim spreads and Paul's Poop posts.
Great Actress
I must admit I was duped on this one. Normally I never believe this crap but this emotion was just so real.
The recent "Bride Has Massive Hair Wig Out" video was an initiative from Sunsilk Haircare Brand.
The video was created to dramatize that "bad hair" is one of the challenges faced by young women, many of whom have experienced their own "wig-out" moments.
It was never Sunsilk Canada's intent to portray anything other than a dramatization.
The recent "Bride Has Massive Hair Wig Out" video was an initiative from Sunsilk Haircare Brand.
The video was created to dramatize that "bad hair" is one of the challenges faced by young women, many of whom have experienced their own "wig-out" moments.
It was never Sunsilk Canada's intent to portray anything other than a dramatization.
Billy Loves Mrs. Poop
When I asked Mrs. Poop if she wanted to wear my Dwight Freeney jersey to Nailsfest for the Super Bowl, she declined.
Because "Billy likes the Bears and I don't want to be mean to him."
Speaking of Nailsfest, I know he has a big TV and a big apartment but how are 350 people going to fit, sit and see the TV?
JayLeary says he is going to camp out in front of his building Saturday night.
Because "Billy likes the Bears and I don't want to be mean to him."
Speaking of Nailsfest, I know he has a big TV and a big apartment but how are 350 people going to fit, sit and see the TV?
JayLeary says he is going to camp out in front of his building Saturday night.
SCZA's Debut
SCZA got his big on air break because he was the only one in his newsroom who knew enough to speak intelligently on viral marketing campaigns and "Aqua Teen Hunger Force."
I thought he was good but I don't know why they kept showing wide beauty shots of the city. If you don't have pictures of anything, just show your reporters. I also wish SCZA hadn't been such a local media flak and used the "post-9/11 world excuse." No one in their right mind should have thought this was a bomb.
I thought he was good but I don't know why they kept showing wide beauty shots of the city. If you don't have pictures of anything, just show your reporters. I also wish SCZA hadn't been such a local media flak and used the "post-9/11 world excuse." No one in their right mind should have thought this was a bomb.
Super Bowl Prediction
Everyone seems to be picking the Colts to win this game easily.
I always go with defense and I always go against Peyton Manning (though I am 0-3 doing so this postseason).
The Bears defense has to hit -- and hit hard -- early and often.
They need to shake up the Colts timing.
I think the Bears can force turnovers and run on the Colts.
Plus I can't go against Billy.
Chicago Bears 27 Indianapolis Colts 23
I always go with defense and I always go against Peyton Manning (though I am 0-3 doing so this postseason).
The Bears defense has to hit -- and hit hard -- early and often.
They need to shake up the Colts timing.
I think the Bears can force turnovers and run on the Colts.
Plus I can't go against Billy.
Chicago Bears 27 Indianapolis Colts 23
Thursday, February 01, 2007
San Francisco Sex Scandal
Gavin Newsom is the Mayor of San Francisco. His campaign manager, Alex Tourk, resigned after he learned that Newsom had been banging his wife, Ruby Rippey-Tourk.
The affair started, and apparently ended, a little more than a year ago, and occurred while Newsom was getting a divorce from his wife, Kimberly Guilfoyle, a reporter for Fox News.
Who would you rather be banging, the wife or mistress?
The affair started, and apparently ended, a little more than a year ago, and occurred while Newsom was getting a divorce from his wife, Kimberly Guilfoyle, a reporter for Fox News.
Who would you rather be banging, the wife or mistress?
Too Bad It's Not 1987 Anymore
The New York Mets signed outfielder Ruben Sierra to a minor league contract with an invitation to spring training.
Sierra, 41, played in 14 games with the Minnesota Twins last season, hitting .179 with four runs batted in.
He has a career .268 average with 306 homers and 1,322 RBI in 2,186 games, spanning 20 seasons, with Texas, Oakland, the New York Yankees, Detroit, Cincinnati, Toronto, the Chicago White Sox, Seattle and Minnesota.
The value of Nails' Ruben Sierra autographed ball just increased 100% from 50 cents to $1.
Sierra, 41, played in 14 games with the Minnesota Twins last season, hitting .179 with four runs batted in.
He has a career .268 average with 306 homers and 1,322 RBI in 2,186 games, spanning 20 seasons, with Texas, Oakland, the New York Yankees, Detroit, Cincinnati, Toronto, the Chicago White Sox, Seattle and Minnesota.
The value of Nails' Ruben Sierra autographed ball just increased 100% from 50 cents to $1.
Super Bowl Betting Tip
One of our favorite Poophead's, Freedo, who will be attending the game on Sunday says his spies told him that about 10 Colts were spotted at Miami strip club Solid Gold until 3am one night this week.
Not sure how that portends for the game. I think it could go either way. Some teams, like the 85 (regular season) Bears partied all week and kicked ass on Sunday because they were "loosey-goosey." Some teams had strict curfews like the 2000 Giants and got killed because they were "tight." Other teams had players doing coke (1989 Bengals) or hiring hookers (1998 Falcons), neither of which worked very well.
The team that plays the best will win, not the one that saw the most (or the fewest) titties during the week.
Not sure how that portends for the game. I think it could go either way. Some teams, like the 85 (regular season) Bears partied all week and kicked ass on Sunday because they were "loosey-goosey." Some teams had strict curfews like the 2000 Giants and got killed because they were "tight." Other teams had players doing coke (1989 Bengals) or hiring hookers (1998 Falcons), neither of which worked very well.
The team that plays the best will win, not the one that saw the most (or the fewest) titties during the week.
As Opposed to All the Other Black Candidates
Sen. Joseph Biden of Delaware torpedoed his Presidential hopes with comments he made about Barack Obama.
Biden said "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."
Clean probably wasn't the best word to use. He said he meant fresh. I think he meant unsoiled as in there isn't much dirt on him.
Never use the word articulate to describe a black person. It is often taken to mean that the speaker is surprised that a black person can speak well.
Biden said "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."
Clean probably wasn't the best word to use. He said he meant fresh. I think he meant unsoiled as in there isn't much dirt on him.
Never use the word articulate to describe a black person. It is often taken to mean that the speaker is surprised that a black person can speak well.
Only 170 Days Away
The final book in the Harry Potter series, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," will be released on July 21st at 12:01am.
Song of the Week
Over It - Katharine McPhee
I don't love this song but I love her so I'm hoping she will catch on, or fail miserably and turn to porn
I don't love this song but I love her so I'm hoping she will catch on, or fail miserably and turn to porn
Bomb Scare
The city of Boston was thrown into a panic when people mistook a promotion for the cartoon "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" for a bomb.
The device was a series of lights that looked like a face giving the middle finger.
Because it had 4 batteries people thought it was a bomb.
The plan was a guerilla marketing effort on the part of Adult Swim Network which airs on the cartoon network and like CNN is part of the Turner Broadcasting System.
Because the ad campaign was supposed to be underground the devices were just left in places.
The devices displayed a "Mooninite" -- an outer-space delinquent who makes frequent appearances on the cartoon -- greeting passersby with an upraised middle finger. But the discovery of nine of the light boards around Boston and its suburbs sent bomb squads scrambling throughout the day, snarling traffic and mass transit in one of the largest U.S. cities.
Boston Mayor Thomas Menino was indignant, threatening criminal charges and saying "It's all about corporate greed."
Just for the record, there is no way anyone in their right mind would have mistaken this for a bomb. Which is why dozens of other like devices were placed in other cities and in Boston over the past two weeks, and no one overreacted.
Look at the going rate on eBay, though I'm as in 99% of eBay stories this sale will never be consummated.
The device was a series of lights that looked like a face giving the middle finger.
Because it had 4 batteries people thought it was a bomb.
The plan was a guerilla marketing effort on the part of Adult Swim Network which airs on the cartoon network and like CNN is part of the Turner Broadcasting System.
Because the ad campaign was supposed to be underground the devices were just left in places.
The devices displayed a "Mooninite" -- an outer-space delinquent who makes frequent appearances on the cartoon -- greeting passersby with an upraised middle finger. But the discovery of nine of the light boards around Boston and its suburbs sent bomb squads scrambling throughout the day, snarling traffic and mass transit in one of the largest U.S. cities.
Boston Mayor Thomas Menino was indignant, threatening criminal charges and saying "It's all about corporate greed."
Just for the record, there is no way anyone in their right mind would have mistaken this for a bomb. Which is why dozens of other like devices were placed in other cities and in Boston over the past two weeks, and no one overreacted.
Look at the going rate on eBay, though I'm as in 99% of eBay stories this sale will never be consummated.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Put a Jersey On
One thing I forgot to add about the Ohio State trip:
Derek loved the fact that the football coach, Jim Tressel came to the game in a #20 Greg Oden football jersey. And that he showed it off to ESPN hottie Erin Andrews.
Derek loved the fact that the football coach, Jim Tressel came to the game in a #20 Greg Oden football jersey. And that he showed it off to ESPN hottie Erin Andrews.
Hockey Fans Like to Puck
A clever female Penguins fan carried this sign to a game. I guess Sidney is welcome in her crease for a little high sticking.
Before we get carried away trying to count the other 4 holes, it should be noted that in hockey jargon the 5 hole is the one between the legs.
Before we get carried away trying to count the other 4 holes, it should be noted that in hockey jargon the 5 hole is the one between the legs.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
My Trip to The Ohio State University
Friday
12:55 pm (all times approximate) – Arrive in Columbus, Ohio. (Read my thoughts on the city of Columbus). I make my way to baggage claim where Pizza Parlor Derek (he’ll be just Derek for the remainder of this post) is waiting serenely with his Contented Face on. Not his Gay Picture Face. His Contented Face.
Friday 1:30 pm – Arrive at Pizza Parlor Daren’s house. Yes, he is shrewd enough to be the owner of his own home (single guy, for the time being) at the age of 27. His house is really nice, on the small side, but what you’d expect for a first house. The kitchen is great with all new appliances. He’s got a nice living room with two sofas, two rooms on the first level, an office and another room which he rents out to a friend. Upstairs is Daren’s bedroom and the guest room. But the best part is the basement. That’s where the house becomes an Ohio State alum’s bachelor pad. He’s got a sofa, an easy chair, a leather recliner and another OSU chair; plus an OSU area rug. And the last piece of guyhood, a pool table.
Friday 3:30 pm – After watching a little TV, Derek and I decide to play pool. Minnesota Fats, we are not. We each lose one game on a scratch of the 8 ball and then I secure victory with 8 ball corner pocket to win the best of 3 affair.
Friday 4:15 – Nap time
Friday 5:15 – Around the Horn. Woody Paige is the decider.
Friday 5:30 – Pardon the Interruption. Of course Chris Harris owes that guy a ticket. As Dan Greco would say “a verbal agreement is legal and binding.”
Friday 7:00 – The door opens. In walks AnnMarie (Daren’s lovely – inside and out – girlfriend), and her dog, Bentley, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, the breed favored by the Poop’s favorite actress, Courteney Cox-Zucker. Derek loves this dog. He was constantly petting and holding Bentley all weekend.
Friday 7:15 - Daren comes home from work. Brothers don't shake hands...brothers gotta HUG!
Friday 8:30 - We meet up with the rest of Daren's crew.
This includes Jamie, who lived with Daren on my two previous visits to Columbus. Great guy, exceptional gymnast (more on that later) and a great needler of people which I really like him about him. Then there was Jamie's wife, Laura who I really liked. She was so hurt that Derek didn't mention her in the blog of his last trip to Columbus that she offered to show him her tits if he'd mention her this time. I'm not sure if this ever happened but if you read Derek's blog and her name is in there, you can assume he saw her knockers.
Jon Marc, the aforementioned roommate/rentor of Daren and his future wife Abbi. Abbi seems to be worried about the impending bachelor party especially Jamie's vision of it. And the last couple joining us is Rac and his wife who is expecting (congratulations) and as such she opted for the salad instead of the raw meat smorgasboard. Rac was also a very accomplished gymnast in his heyday which I later learned much to my surprise, was in the late 1980s.
The group hit BD's Mongolian Barbecue for dinner. If you are unfamiliar with this restaurant style here's how it works. Buffet style, all the food is laid out, chicken, steak, pork, shrimp, scallops, lamb...all raw. You throw it in a bowl. Add some vegetables, pick your sauces and spices (I think Derek overdid it with the cayenne) and they cook it for you on a huge steam table in the middle of the restaurant. If the food sucks, it's your fault.
8:45 - Derek orders the Mongo-tastic Margarita, which is blue and comes in a huge glass. The gay waiter thinks this is a sign and spends the rest of the night flirting with Derek, forcing Derek to order a beer (in his deepest voice) for his next drink.
9:30 - After stuffing myself to the point where I feel like I am going to vomit, I go up for one more bowl of food.
11:00 - We head to Ugly Tuna for some after dinner drinks. A cool bar with a combination of college students and alums. One hot waitress had huge tits and a big ass and I told Derek that he deserved more than a chick who was just tits and ass. I was lying to boost his confidence.
Saturday
11:00 - Head over to the basketball arena to catch ESPN Gameday. Not quite the same as college football (this would be a theme for the weekend) but the band was there, the cheerleaders were there, some fired up students were there, some cute kids in OSU outfits were there. Mostly the hour was spent chanting and singing songs of hatred towards Michigan. Read more about the hatred towards Michigan.
12:00 - We walk around the arena to see some of the history. There's a computer with an interactive menu on the history of OSU athletics but it wasn't updated. We saw a picture of Rac commemorating his achievements. We saw Archie Griffin's Heismans.
12:30 - Eddie George's new restaurant/sports bar for lunch. Great sports bar atmosphere, tons of TVs, good food at reasonable prices. On each TV were the logos of the two teams playing in that game on that TV, and the logos of the teams that would be featured next. One guy was standing in the corner and his only job seemed to be to print those logos and play a song during commercial breaks. At night Eddie George's turns into Bungalow 27. I have no idea what that entails.
1:30 - After lunch Derek and I encounter some gastro-intestinal problems related to last night's supper. That's all I'll disclose.
2:00 - Daren's crew comes over, we hang out in the basement watching the Senior Bowl (people seem more interested in Troy Smith than Greg Oden), watch some other college basketball, play pool and listen to a Columbus pop radio station.
2:15 - "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce on the radio. Derek says "this is a good song, too bad it gets no radio airplay." I fall for it. Derek giggles.
2:20 - "Walk Away" by Paula DeAnda.
2:25 - "Fergalicious" by Fergie.
2:30 - "It's not Over" by Daughtry.
3:15 - "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce.
3:20 - "Walk Away" by Paula DeAnda.
3:25 - "Fergalicious" by Fergie.
3:30 - "It's not Over" by Daughtry.
4:15 - "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce.
4:20 - "Walk Away" by Paula DeAnda.
4:25 - "Fergalicious" by Fergie.
4:30 - "It's not Over" by Daughtry. You get the point.
5:00 - Quick 5 person poker tournament. I see a flop with pocket 4s, flop is a-10-4, I go all in, knock out Derek (pocket queens) and cripple Daren (A-10). But I couldn't do much else and Daren survived several all-ins to win the title.
7:00 - SU - Louisville. We watch the first half and record the rest for later.
8:00 - We head to Value City Arena at the Schottenstein Center for college hoops action, Ohio State vs. Michigan State. Read more about the game.
8:30 - Popcorn at the arena, almost as good as at Target, but not quite.
8:45 - Drunk old dude walks by us to go to the bathroom. He did this like 5 times.
9:00 - Dippin Dots (The Ice Cream of the Future!) When my server bends down to scoop my dots, I see a picture of Jamie on the wall heralding the great 1999 season the gymnastics team had.
9:15 - Derek loves the second half because the band plays "Hang On Sloopy" and we spell out O-H-I-O with our hands above our heads. Like YMCA, only less gay. Or more gay? I'm not quite sure.
11:15 - Derek walks aimlessly around the parking lot even though he has no idea where the car is parked. Daren has to direct him about 4 times before I finally encourage him to just walk behind Daren and follow him.
11:30 - Late night snack at Buffalo Wild Wings (Bee-Dubbs). Exactly the type of wings/sports bar I would love, but pompous New Yorkers think they are too sophisticated for. I was very excited for this place because I'd been hearing about the stock for years. I ordered the boneless wings (I hate mess) but Derek chose the hottest sauce for his wings. The waitress was incredulous and tried to talk him out of it. He would not be deterred. And he actually ate all the wings with no problem. Almost no problem. Derek failed to sufficiently wipe his hands of the sauce. Then he rubbed his eye and had to rush to the bathroom for emergency eyewash. He was tearing up, his eye was red and burning. It was freakin hilarious.
I played an interactive trivia game and little did I know it but they would broadcast my username (Poop) on several of the TVs. AnnMarie thought this was hilarious. The waitress brought the checks (Columbus restaurants are big on separate checks) and she put AnnMarie's food on my bill, assuming that she and I were the couple. I was flattered, AnnMarie was disgusted.
Sunday
1:30am - Derek and I watch the end of SU - Louisville. SU blows a huge lead. I get pissed, Derek saw the result at Bee-Dubbs so he is calmer. But he doesn't blame me. This team sucks.
1:00pm - We go to Buckeye Corner for some souvenirs. I buy Mrs. Poop a hooded sweatshirt with a picture of Brutus the Buckeye whom she later calls retarded and tells me she'd rather have had the plain Ohio State sweatshirt that I passed up. This store has everything. As Daren explained, everything you need for your house, you can buy with an Ohio State logo on it, and you often do. Bathmats, cookie jars, grill covers, I even saw a kitchen table, with an OSU logo.
1:30 - Buckeye Cafe, what a cool place. It's an arcade, with a fancy room for banquets or dinners. It has a souvenir shop, and a display case for Ohio State athletics in which both Jamie and Daren were recognized for their accomplishments. Out front is a brick inscribed with Daren's name and feats, courtesy of Bob and Judi.
2:30 - Lunch at a cool little Irish place in downtown Columbus.
3:30 - I hate goodbyes! Read Pizza Parlor Derek's version of the events.
12:55 pm (all times approximate) – Arrive in Columbus, Ohio. (Read my thoughts on the city of Columbus). I make my way to baggage claim where Pizza Parlor Derek (he’ll be just Derek for the remainder of this post) is waiting serenely with his Contented Face on. Not his Gay Picture Face. His Contented Face.
Friday 1:30 pm – Arrive at Pizza Parlor Daren’s house. Yes, he is shrewd enough to be the owner of his own home (single guy, for the time being) at the age of 27. His house is really nice, on the small side, but what you’d expect for a first house. The kitchen is great with all new appliances. He’s got a nice living room with two sofas, two rooms on the first level, an office and another room which he rents out to a friend. Upstairs is Daren’s bedroom and the guest room. But the best part is the basement. That’s where the house becomes an Ohio State alum’s bachelor pad. He’s got a sofa, an easy chair, a leather recliner and another OSU chair; plus an OSU area rug. And the last piece of guyhood, a pool table.
Friday 3:30 pm – After watching a little TV, Derek and I decide to play pool. Minnesota Fats, we are not. We each lose one game on a scratch of the 8 ball and then I secure victory with 8 ball corner pocket to win the best of 3 affair.
Friday 4:15 – Nap time
Friday 5:15 – Around the Horn. Woody Paige is the decider.
Friday 5:30 – Pardon the Interruption. Of course Chris Harris owes that guy a ticket. As Dan Greco would say “a verbal agreement is legal and binding.”
Friday 7:00 – The door opens. In walks AnnMarie (Daren’s lovely – inside and out – girlfriend), and her dog, Bentley, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, the breed favored by the Poop’s favorite actress, Courteney Cox-Zucker. Derek loves this dog. He was constantly petting and holding Bentley all weekend.
Friday 7:15 - Daren comes home from work. Brothers don't shake hands...brothers gotta HUG!
Friday 8:30 - We meet up with the rest of Daren's crew.
This includes Jamie, who lived with Daren on my two previous visits to Columbus. Great guy, exceptional gymnast (more on that later) and a great needler of people which I really like him about him. Then there was Jamie's wife, Laura who I really liked. She was so hurt that Derek didn't mention her in the blog of his last trip to Columbus that she offered to show him her tits if he'd mention her this time. I'm not sure if this ever happened but if you read Derek's blog and her name is in there, you can assume he saw her knockers.
Jon Marc, the aforementioned roommate/rentor of Daren and his future wife Abbi. Abbi seems to be worried about the impending bachelor party especially Jamie's vision of it. And the last couple joining us is Rac and his wife who is expecting (congratulations) and as such she opted for the salad instead of the raw meat smorgasboard. Rac was also a very accomplished gymnast in his heyday which I later learned much to my surprise, was in the late 1980s.
The group hit BD's Mongolian Barbecue for dinner. If you are unfamiliar with this restaurant style here's how it works. Buffet style, all the food is laid out, chicken, steak, pork, shrimp, scallops, lamb...all raw. You throw it in a bowl. Add some vegetables, pick your sauces and spices (I think Derek overdid it with the cayenne) and they cook it for you on a huge steam table in the middle of the restaurant. If the food sucks, it's your fault.
8:45 - Derek orders the Mongo-tastic Margarita, which is blue and comes in a huge glass. The gay waiter thinks this is a sign and spends the rest of the night flirting with Derek, forcing Derek to order a beer (in his deepest voice) for his next drink.
9:30 - After stuffing myself to the point where I feel like I am going to vomit, I go up for one more bowl of food.
11:00 - We head to Ugly Tuna for some after dinner drinks. A cool bar with a combination of college students and alums. One hot waitress had huge tits and a big ass and I told Derek that he deserved more than a chick who was just tits and ass. I was lying to boost his confidence.
Saturday
11:00 - Head over to the basketball arena to catch ESPN Gameday. Not quite the same as college football (this would be a theme for the weekend) but the band was there, the cheerleaders were there, some fired up students were there, some cute kids in OSU outfits were there. Mostly the hour was spent chanting and singing songs of hatred towards Michigan. Read more about the hatred towards Michigan.
12:00 - We walk around the arena to see some of the history. There's a computer with an interactive menu on the history of OSU athletics but it wasn't updated. We saw a picture of Rac commemorating his achievements. We saw Archie Griffin's Heismans.
12:30 - Eddie George's new restaurant/sports bar for lunch. Great sports bar atmosphere, tons of TVs, good food at reasonable prices. On each TV were the logos of the two teams playing in that game on that TV, and the logos of the teams that would be featured next. One guy was standing in the corner and his only job seemed to be to print those logos and play a song during commercial breaks. At night Eddie George's turns into Bungalow 27. I have no idea what that entails.
1:30 - After lunch Derek and I encounter some gastro-intestinal problems related to last night's supper. That's all I'll disclose.
2:00 - Daren's crew comes over, we hang out in the basement watching the Senior Bowl (people seem more interested in Troy Smith than Greg Oden), watch some other college basketball, play pool and listen to a Columbus pop radio station.
2:15 - "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce on the radio. Derek says "this is a good song, too bad it gets no radio airplay." I fall for it. Derek giggles.
2:20 - "Walk Away" by Paula DeAnda.
2:25 - "Fergalicious" by Fergie.
2:30 - "It's not Over" by Daughtry.
3:15 - "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce.
3:20 - "Walk Away" by Paula DeAnda.
3:25 - "Fergalicious" by Fergie.
3:30 - "It's not Over" by Daughtry.
4:15 - "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce.
4:20 - "Walk Away" by Paula DeAnda.
4:25 - "Fergalicious" by Fergie.
4:30 - "It's not Over" by Daughtry. You get the point.
5:00 - Quick 5 person poker tournament. I see a flop with pocket 4s, flop is a-10-4, I go all in, knock out Derek (pocket queens) and cripple Daren (A-10). But I couldn't do much else and Daren survived several all-ins to win the title.
7:00 - SU - Louisville. We watch the first half and record the rest for later.
8:00 - We head to Value City Arena at the Schottenstein Center for college hoops action, Ohio State vs. Michigan State. Read more about the game.
8:30 - Popcorn at the arena, almost as good as at Target, but not quite.
8:45 - Drunk old dude walks by us to go to the bathroom. He did this like 5 times.
9:00 - Dippin Dots (The Ice Cream of the Future!) When my server bends down to scoop my dots, I see a picture of Jamie on the wall heralding the great 1999 season the gymnastics team had.
9:15 - Derek loves the second half because the band plays "Hang On Sloopy" and we spell out O-H-I-O with our hands above our heads. Like YMCA, only less gay. Or more gay? I'm not quite sure.
11:15 - Derek walks aimlessly around the parking lot even though he has no idea where the car is parked. Daren has to direct him about 4 times before I finally encourage him to just walk behind Daren and follow him.
11:30 - Late night snack at Buffalo Wild Wings (Bee-Dubbs). Exactly the type of wings/sports bar I would love, but pompous New Yorkers think they are too sophisticated for. I was very excited for this place because I'd been hearing about the stock for years. I ordered the boneless wings (I hate mess) but Derek chose the hottest sauce for his wings. The waitress was incredulous and tried to talk him out of it. He would not be deterred. And he actually ate all the wings with no problem. Almost no problem. Derek failed to sufficiently wipe his hands of the sauce. Then he rubbed his eye and had to rush to the bathroom for emergency eyewash. He was tearing up, his eye was red and burning. It was freakin hilarious.
I played an interactive trivia game and little did I know it but they would broadcast my username (Poop) on several of the TVs. AnnMarie thought this was hilarious. The waitress brought the checks (Columbus restaurants are big on separate checks) and she put AnnMarie's food on my bill, assuming that she and I were the couple. I was flattered, AnnMarie was disgusted.
Sunday
1:30am - Derek and I watch the end of SU - Louisville. SU blows a huge lead. I get pissed, Derek saw the result at Bee-Dubbs so he is calmer. But he doesn't blame me. This team sucks.
1:00pm - We go to Buckeye Corner for some souvenirs. I buy Mrs. Poop a hooded sweatshirt with a picture of Brutus the Buckeye whom she later calls retarded and tells me she'd rather have had the plain Ohio State sweatshirt that I passed up. This store has everything. As Daren explained, everything you need for your house, you can buy with an Ohio State logo on it, and you often do. Bathmats, cookie jars, grill covers, I even saw a kitchen table, with an OSU logo.
1:30 - Buckeye Cafe, what a cool place. It's an arcade, with a fancy room for banquets or dinners. It has a souvenir shop, and a display case for Ohio State athletics in which both Jamie and Daren were recognized for their accomplishments. Out front is a brick inscribed with Daren's name and feats, courtesy of Bob and Judi.
2:30 - Lunch at a cool little Irish place in downtown Columbus.
3:30 - I hate goodbyes! Read Pizza Parlor Derek's version of the events.
Fuck Michigan
One of the most pervasive and fun parts of my trip to Columbus was the hatred for "that school up North."
Here are some examples:
The staff at the Mongolian BBQ had shirts that said "Wolverine tastes like Chicken"
State Farm advertises "In case you hit a Wolverine"
At Eddie George's restaurant logos are used to identify which TV will show which game. The Michigan logo was upside down. This happens everywhere Big Ten schools' flags are flown. Michigan is always upside down.
Also at Eddie George's, the urinals in the men's room had Michigan logos as piss targets.
The cool thing to have in your bathroom is a Michigan toilet plunger.
At the Gameday event, they showed a story on Michigan and when Chris Webber called his ill fated timeout, everyone cheered.
But the coup de grace, was the new song I learned: "We don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan, the whole state of Michigan..."
Here are some examples:
The staff at the Mongolian BBQ had shirts that said "Wolverine tastes like Chicken"
State Farm advertises "In case you hit a Wolverine"
At Eddie George's restaurant logos are used to identify which TV will show which game. The Michigan logo was upside down. This happens everywhere Big Ten schools' flags are flown. Michigan is always upside down.
Also at Eddie George's, the urinals in the men's room had Michigan logos as piss targets.
The cool thing to have in your bathroom is a Michigan toilet plunger.
At the Gameday event, they showed a story on Michigan and when Chris Webber called his ill fated timeout, everyone cheered.
But the coup de grace, was the new song I learned: "We don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan, the whole state of Michigan..."
Ohio State 66 Michigan State 64
As part of my trip to Columbus we took in a basketball game featuring the 5th ranked Ohio State Buckeyes and the Michigan State Spartans.
Two big reasons for my interest: my wager on the Buckeyes to win it all and the presence of one of the most promising freshman to hit college in years, Greg Oden.
Ohio State got off to an early lead by feeding Greg Oden. He hit two hook shots and a couple other shots, had OSU's first 7 and 9 of their first 15. But then he sort of disappeared on offense, he had no field goals in the last 33 minutes of the game. He sat for long stretches, then when he came back he didn't try hard to get open. He did get fouled a few times and ended up shooting 11-14 from the line, not bad for a big man who still shoots with his off hand due to injury.
But in the first half they didn't need Oden's offense, everyone was clicking and they had a 43-23 lead, as my man Daequan Cook nailed a 3-pointer.
But then the game devolved into the other OSU games I've seen this season. Too many good players, only one ball and not enough effort on defense.
Led by Drew Neitzell (a cross between Mike Nardi and Kevin Leitzell), who went off scoring 24 of his 29 in the second half (one more point than the whole OSU team had in the second half), Michigan State made a furious comeback.
Ohio State had no field goals in the final 6 minutes, but hit 7 free throws to hang onto the lead.
A good close game but more exciting than what we wanted to see.
But we did get what we paid for. At one point a Michigan State player went up for a layup and Oden blocked it, but not just blocked it. He caught it. Picked it out of the sky. I loved it.
One thing I didn't love was the crowd. They clearly lacked enthusiasm, especially as compared to the football crowds. This was more like a Carrier Dome crowd. Even though it was a 9pm start on a Saturday night there weren't enough drunk students. Apparently, this is due to an SU-esque policy in which the best tickets are sold to rich old boosters and the students are stuck behind the basket. And there are no alcohol sales at the arena during college games. Those seated behind the basket did however wear red and white warmup jerseys provided by the school to create a big red O into which the opposing team had to look when shooting.
Two big reasons for my interest: my wager on the Buckeyes to win it all and the presence of one of the most promising freshman to hit college in years, Greg Oden.
Ohio State got off to an early lead by feeding Greg Oden. He hit two hook shots and a couple other shots, had OSU's first 7 and 9 of their first 15. But then he sort of disappeared on offense, he had no field goals in the last 33 minutes of the game. He sat for long stretches, then when he came back he didn't try hard to get open. He did get fouled a few times and ended up shooting 11-14 from the line, not bad for a big man who still shoots with his off hand due to injury.
But in the first half they didn't need Oden's offense, everyone was clicking and they had a 43-23 lead, as my man Daequan Cook nailed a 3-pointer.
But then the game devolved into the other OSU games I've seen this season. Too many good players, only one ball and not enough effort on defense.
Led by Drew Neitzell (a cross between Mike Nardi and Kevin Leitzell), who went off scoring 24 of his 29 in the second half (one more point than the whole OSU team had in the second half), Michigan State made a furious comeback.
Ohio State had no field goals in the final 6 minutes, but hit 7 free throws to hang onto the lead.
A good close game but more exciting than what we wanted to see.
But we did get what we paid for. At one point a Michigan State player went up for a layup and Oden blocked it, but not just blocked it. He caught it. Picked it out of the sky. I loved it.
One thing I didn't love was the crowd. They clearly lacked enthusiasm, especially as compared to the football crowds. This was more like a Carrier Dome crowd. Even though it was a 9pm start on a Saturday night there weren't enough drunk students. Apparently, this is due to an SU-esque policy in which the best tickets are sold to rich old boosters and the students are stuck behind the basket. And there are no alcohol sales at the arena during college games. Those seated behind the basket did however wear red and white warmup jerseys provided by the school to create a big red O into which the opposing team had to look when shooting.
Great Place to Visit, and I Would Want to Live There
I really liked the city of Columbus, so for those of you who have never been there, let me try to explain it's charm.
It's a classic Midwestern city with a good enough population (about 730,000) to have some cool things, without being too big.
It has the university which pretty much dominates everything.
But it also has a lot of things that keep alumni, like Daren in the area after graduation. Hey SU alums, could you imagine settling in Syracuse?
There are some major employers, AEP & Nationwide, as well as four major hospitals, that add money to the city.
It has college bars and restaurants, but it also has more upscale places, in the Arena district, where the Columbus Blue Jackets of the NHL play their games.
And of course it has the older alumni who keep coming back year after year.
The real estate market is good, affordable but a good investment.
I would equate Columbus to cities like Austin, Texas and Charlottesville, Virginia, college towns, with other things around to attract people.
It's a classic Midwestern city with a good enough population (about 730,000) to have some cool things, without being too big.
It has the university which pretty much dominates everything.
But it also has a lot of things that keep alumni, like Daren in the area after graduation. Hey SU alums, could you imagine settling in Syracuse?
There are some major employers, AEP & Nationwide, as well as four major hospitals, that add money to the city.
It has college bars and restaurants, but it also has more upscale places, in the Arena district, where the Columbus Blue Jackets of the NHL play their games.
And of course it has the older alumni who keep coming back year after year.
The real estate market is good, affordable but a good investment.
I would equate Columbus to cities like Austin, Texas and Charlottesville, Virginia, college towns, with other things around to attract people.
Chris Harris is a Welcher
Bears safety Chris Harris promised a Super Bowl ticket (should the Bears make it) to a local cable host during an interview during the summer.
But now Harris says he was just joking.
But this is what he said:
Lange: “If you guys make it to the Super Bowl, I’ll sell my Harley to go.”
Harris: “You won’t have to sell it. I’ll give you tickets.”
Lange: “I’ll hold you to it. It’s on tape.”
“We win. He’s going,” Harris said, looking into the camera.
Lange says he will sell his Harley and pay Harris face value.
But a ticket broker came through for him and gave Lange a ticket at face value.
But now Harris says he was just joking.
But this is what he said:
Lange: “If you guys make it to the Super Bowl, I’ll sell my Harley to go.”
Harris: “You won’t have to sell it. I’ll give you tickets.”
Lange: “I’ll hold you to it. It’s on tape.”
“We win. He’s going,” Harris said, looking into the camera.
Lange says he will sell his Harley and pay Harris face value.
But a ticket broker came through for him and gave Lange a ticket at face value.
I'm a Douche
Just spent the last 10 minutes trying to figure out why the links and ads on the blog had been pushed down to the bottom.
Usually this occurs when a picture is too wide. But I checked all the pictures and all the youtube clips and they all seemed to be ok.
Turns out I had too many Os and too many exclamation points in the headline of the Barbaro post. I had to truncate it, but I still think it sufficiently expresses my grief and despair.
Usually this occurs when a picture is too wide. But I checked all the pictures and all the youtube clips and they all seemed to be ok.
Turns out I had too many Os and too many exclamation points in the headline of the Barbaro post. I had to truncate it, but I still think it sufficiently expresses my grief and despair.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Bridezilla
Bride freaks out when she has a bad hair day at the worst time. Her friends are such bitches.
Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Barbaro lost his battle with the series of complications that arose from his broken ankle at the Preakness.
He was euthanized today.
He was euthanized today.
Another Michigan Alum Gone Bad
Robert Traylor, 29, a former NBA basketball player, pleaded guilty to aiding and assisting in the preparation of a false tax return, federal law enforcement officials announced today.
According to court records, Traylor's name was used to make it appear that he had purchased two rental properties in Detroit, Michigan, when, in fact, the purchases had been funded and the properties owned by Quasand Lewis. Lewis has recently been sentenced in federal court on charges of narcotics trafficking and money laundering. In his plea today, Traylor admitted the properties for which he claimed deductions where titled in his name to conceal Quasand Lewis' ownership of them from law enforcement. Traylor also admitted as part of his plea that on his 2004 federal income tax return, he claimed a loss of over $205,000 from the rental properties, which he knew to be false.
According to court records, Traylor's name was used to make it appear that he had purchased two rental properties in Detroit, Michigan, when, in fact, the purchases had been funded and the properties owned by Quasand Lewis. Lewis has recently been sentenced in federal court on charges of narcotics trafficking and money laundering. In his plea today, Traylor admitted the properties for which he claimed deductions where titled in his name to conceal Quasand Lewis' ownership of them from law enforcement. Traylor also admitted as part of his plea that on his 2004 federal income tax return, he claimed a loss of over $205,000 from the rental properties, which he knew to be false.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
What Should I Do?
I have a two hour flight to Columbus Friday and a return trip on Sunday.
I am not a good flyer. I am not afraid of crashing I just hate waiting in the terminal, and on the plane, and sitting there doing nothing.
Should I read a book? Next up on Paulo's Book Club is "The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game
" by Michael Lewis.
If I bring my portable DVD player, I can watch Seinfeld Season 4 and/or Season 5.
Read and expand my mind, or watch the same shows I've seens dozens of times and enjoy myself.
I am not a good flyer. I am not afraid of crashing I just hate waiting in the terminal, and on the plane, and sitting there doing nothing.
Should I read a book? Next up on Paulo's Book Club is "The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game
" by Michael Lewis.If I bring my portable DVD player, I can watch Seinfeld Season 4 and/or Season 5.
Read and expand my mind, or watch the same shows I've seens dozens of times and enjoy myself.
Delicious Dollar
The good folks at McDonald's have added the 6-piece chicken mcnuggets to the dollar menu for this week only. Monday night we went there for dinner and ordered 5 6-pieces.
Tuesday I entered Penn Station from the 7th Avenue side so I picked up a 6-piece for a $1.08. A delicious midday snack which I had eaten before I got to my train. Plus, the Penn Station Mickey D's is so busy, the nuggets were piping hot.
I went in from 7th Avenue again yesterday but I had just met my dad for lunch at Ben's so I didn't.
I recommend this affordable and delicious food opportunity to you before McDonald's closes the door on it on Sunday.
Tuesday I entered Penn Station from the 7th Avenue side so I picked up a 6-piece for a $1.08. A delicious midday snack which I had eaten before I got to my train. Plus, the Penn Station Mickey D's is so busy, the nuggets were piping hot.
I went in from 7th Avenue again yesterday but I had just met my dad for lunch at Ben's so I didn't.
I recommend this affordable and delicious food opportunity to you before McDonald's closes the door on it on Sunday.
Mets Extend Willie
A couple days after Mike and the Mad Dog ripped the Mets for paying Willie Randolph less than Eric Wedge, the Mets tore up his deal and gave him a new one for 2007 plus two more years.
He'll get $1.4 million in 2007 (twice what he was due to get in 2007), $2 million in 2008 and $2.25 in 2009 with a $2.5 million club option for 2010.
He'll get $1.4 million in 2007 (twice what he was due to get in 2007), $2 million in 2008 and $2.25 in 2009 with a $2.5 million club option for 2010.
Brandy Kills a Woman
Singer Brandy was involved in a fatal four car accident last month.
It started when she rear ended another car, the driver of that car recently died.
Brandy has not been charged or arrested but all the cars were impounded and are being investigated to see who is at fault.
No alcohol or drugs were involved, but police did say "barring any mechanical difficulties on Brandy's part ... then there's the very high probability that she is the party most at fault or the contributing party."
It started when she rear ended another car, the driver of that car recently died.
Brandy has not been charged or arrested but all the cars were impounded and are being investigated to see who is at fault.
No alcohol or drugs were involved, but police did say "barring any mechanical difficulties on Brandy's part ... then there's the very high probability that she is the party most at fault or the contributing party."
Homo Hater
Grey’s Anatomy actor Isaiah Washington is headed to rehab to make him like gay people. He was involved in a fight on the set with Dr. McDreamy (I think) after Washington called one of the show’s other actors, TR Knight “a faggot.”
Everything had seemingly died down until Washington was asked about it and said “I never called TR a faggot.”
Now ABC is making him go to rehab. Not alcohol rehab; or drug rehab; or even rehab for a sex addiction. He is going to rehab to figure out why he made such comments.
He hates gay people.
I wonder what the rehab is going to be. He’s going to have to watch Brokeback Mountain on loop.
Everything had seemingly died down until Washington was asked about it and said “I never called TR a faggot.”
Now ABC is making him go to rehab. Not alcohol rehab; or drug rehab; or even rehab for a sex addiction. He is going to rehab to figure out why he made such comments.
He hates gay people.
I wonder what the rehab is going to be. He’s going to have to watch Brokeback Mountain on loop.
Loud Soap Star
General Hospital, one soap opera not watched by Pizza Parlor Derek is going to have an explosion / hostage takeover storyline starting Friday and continuing for a couple of weeks.
And now that he has time on his hands Stephen A. Smith will make an appearance in the February 2nd episode as a reporter covering the hostage situation as it unfolds. He has been a fan of "General Hospital" since he was five. He says, "It was a wonderful experience all-around. Meeting many of the actors on the show was very exciting and a dream come true. Let this be a lesson to all the ladies out there: There are men who love the soaps."
And now that he has time on his hands Stephen A. Smith will make an appearance in the February 2nd episode as a reporter covering the hostage situation as it unfolds. He has been a fan of "General Hospital" since he was five. He says, "It was a wonderful experience all-around. Meeting many of the actors on the show was very exciting and a dream come true. Let this be a lesson to all the ladies out there: There are men who love the soaps."
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Actually Kinda Liked It
Some girl created a response to "Dick in a Box", posted in YouTube, and I enjoyed it.
The chick is pretty good looking and some of the lines are funny especially because she does a good job replicating the faux earnestness of the original.
The chick is pretty good looking and some of the lines are funny especially because she does a good job replicating the faux earnestness of the original.
Mutumbo at the State of the Union
As soon as the applause died down he asked "Who Wants to Sex Dikembe?"
During the speech Bush said of Mutumbo:
"When America serves others, we show the strength and generosity of our country.
The greatest strength we have is the heroic kindness, courage and self-sacrifice of the American people. You see this spirit often if you know where to look — and tonight we need only look above to the gallery.
Dikembe Mutombo grew up in Africa, amid great poverty and disease. He came to Georgetown University on a scholarship to study medicine, but coach John Thompson took a look at Dikembe and had a different idea. Dikembe became a star in the NBA and a citizen of the United States. But he never forgot the land of his birth — or the duty to share his blessings with others. He built a brand-new hospital in his old hometown.
A friend has said of this good-hearted man: 'Mutombo believes that God has given him this opportunity to do great things.' And we're proud to call this son of the Congo a citizen of the United States of America."
During the speech Bush said of Mutumbo:
"When America serves others, we show the strength and generosity of our country.
The greatest strength we have is the heroic kindness, courage and self-sacrifice of the American people. You see this spirit often if you know where to look — and tonight we need only look above to the gallery.
Dikembe Mutombo grew up in Africa, amid great poverty and disease. He came to Georgetown University on a scholarship to study medicine, but coach John Thompson took a look at Dikembe and had a different idea. Dikembe became a star in the NBA and a citizen of the United States. But he never forgot the land of his birth — or the duty to share his blessings with others. He built a brand-new hospital in his old hometown.
A friend has said of this good-hearted man: 'Mutombo believes that God has given him this opportunity to do great things.' And we're proud to call this son of the Congo a citizen of the United States of America."
Nice Day for a White T-shirt
For Saturday night's Ohio State - Michigan State basketball game, Ohio State is asking all fans attending the game to White Out the Value City Arena (VCA).
That means we cannot wear our Ohio State red t-shirts. Don't understand why they didn't do a red gimmick, but oh well.
Pizza Parlor Derek and I are going to be there, and I for one, will be wearing white. I bought a cheap OSU t-shirt yesterday.
That means we cannot wear our Ohio State red t-shirts. Don't understand why they didn't do a red gimmick, but oh well.
Pizza Parlor Derek and I are going to be there, and I for one, will be wearing white. I bought a cheap OSU t-shirt yesterday.
Multi-blog Experience
This weekend marks a major event in the short history of blogs. Pizza Parlor Derek and I are taking a trip to Columbus to visit Pizza Parlor Daren and Pizza Parlor Greg Oden.
The most exciting part of this is that you the reader will be able to see the events through both of our eyes. We will each blog about the weekend without discussing our thoughts, opinions, reactions with each other beforehand.
This experiment is going to end up something like this old beer commercial:
Male voice: Last night was great.
Female voice: Worst date of my life.
Male: I think she really liked me.
Female: I couldn’t stand him.
Male: I really listened to what she had to say.
Female: He would not shut up.
Female: It doesn’t matter, I looked horrible anyway.
Male: What a knockout.
The same thing happened more than 10 years ago when Damino and Kari Meyer went out on a date.
This is what you are likely to read:
The Poop: I tried really hard to be nice to Daren’s girlfriend, I think she liked me.
The Parlor: Future Lynch hated Paul.
The Poop: We are going to try to go back in the fall for a football game.
The Parlor: Daren says I’m welcome to come back anytime as long as I don’t bring Paul.
The Poop: I made a really funny crack about Derek’s weight. But I think he took it well.
The Parlor: Paul made a dick comment about me being fat and really hurt my feelings.
The Poop: My wingman skills helped Derek hook up with a decent looking college girl.
The Parlor: If not for Paul I could have banged a hot college girl, and her bi-curious roommate.
The most exciting part of this is that you the reader will be able to see the events through both of our eyes. We will each blog about the weekend without discussing our thoughts, opinions, reactions with each other beforehand.
This experiment is going to end up something like this old beer commercial:
Male voice: Last night was great.
Female voice: Worst date of my life.
Male: I think she really liked me.
Female: I couldn’t stand him.
Male: I really listened to what she had to say.
Female: He would not shut up.
Female: It doesn’t matter, I looked horrible anyway.
Male: What a knockout.
The same thing happened more than 10 years ago when Damino and Kari Meyer went out on a date.
This is what you are likely to read:
The Poop: I tried really hard to be nice to Daren’s girlfriend, I think she liked me.
The Parlor: Future Lynch hated Paul.
The Poop: We are going to try to go back in the fall for a football game.
The Parlor: Daren says I’m welcome to come back anytime as long as I don’t bring Paul.
The Poop: I made a really funny crack about Derek’s weight. But I think he took it well.
The Parlor: Paul made a dick comment about me being fat and really hurt my feelings.
The Poop: My wingman skills helped Derek hook up with a decent looking college girl.
The Parlor: If not for Paul I could have banged a hot college girl, and her bi-curious roommate.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Better Pick Than Assante Samuel's
As an unashamed nose-picker I can only fault Patriots' owner Bob Kraft for his timing. Maybe there was a lot of dry air in the luxury box and he felt the need to clean house.
So Happy Together
Melo and AI won their first game together 115-98 over Memphis. Melo had 28 points and AI had 23. Melo had 6 assists and AI had 7 and Steve Blake had 12. AI and Melo hooked up on a couple nice alley oops.
Ciara and LaLa were on hand, enjoying the game.
As Seen on CNN
A judge has denied unemployment benefits to a woman who was fired from her job for keeping a journal detailing her efforts to avoid work.
Emmalee (pronounced Emily) Bauer was employed by the Sheraton hotel company as a sales coordinator. While on the job, she kept a handwritten journal. A supervisor told her to stop writing on company time, but instead, Bauer wrote her journal, all 300 single-spaced pages, on her work computer.
In the journal, portions of which were introduced during a recent hearing regarding Bauer's request for unemployment, Bauer describes her efforts to avoid work.
"This typing thing seems to be doing the trick," she wrote. "It just looks like I am hard at work on something very important."
Bauer also wrote: "I am only here for the money and, lately, for the printer access. I haven't really accomplished anything in a long while ... and I am still getting paid more than I ever have at a job before, with less to do than I have ever had before. It's actually quite nice when I think of it that way. I can shop online, play games and read message boards and still get paid for it."
In her journal she speculated it could someday be published.
Emmalee (pronounced Emily) Bauer was employed by the Sheraton hotel company as a sales coordinator. While on the job, she kept a handwritten journal. A supervisor told her to stop writing on company time, but instead, Bauer wrote her journal, all 300 single-spaced pages, on her work computer.
In the journal, portions of which were introduced during a recent hearing regarding Bauer's request for unemployment, Bauer describes her efforts to avoid work.
"This typing thing seems to be doing the trick," she wrote. "It just looks like I am hard at work on something very important."
Bauer also wrote: "I am only here for the money and, lately, for the printer access. I haven't really accomplished anything in a long while ... and I am still getting paid more than I ever have at a job before, with less to do than I have ever had before. It's actually quite nice when I think of it that way. I can shop online, play games and read message boards and still get paid for it."
In her journal she speculated it could someday be published.
2000th Post
You are reading the 2000th post in the history of Paul's Poop.
When I started this 14 months ago I had no idea how much time and effort it would require. But for the most part I don't find it tedious and it doesn't intrude in my life.
In fact it's enhanced my life by allowing me to keep in touch with people I might not have otherwise. And to talk about issues that I definitely wouldn't have otherwise.
It's also brought some new people and some old people back into the fold.
But of all the reasons I like it the most compelling is that it serves as a diary for my life and all the things I've done.
When I started this 14 months ago I had no idea how much time and effort it would require. But for the most part I don't find it tedious and it doesn't intrude in my life.
In fact it's enhanced my life by allowing me to keep in touch with people I might not have otherwise. And to talk about issues that I definitely wouldn't have otherwise.
It's also brought some new people and some old people back into the fold.
But of all the reasons I like it the most compelling is that it serves as a diary for my life and all the things I've done.
Gotta Support the Team
Tennessee coach Bruce Pearl painted his chest to support the Lady Vols against #1 Duke.
He sat in the student section and with several of his players painted their bodies orange with the letters to spell Go Vols on their chests. Pearl was the "V".
Coach Pat Summitt appeared to acknowledge him and gestured enthusiastically at Pearl.
Duke won the game 74-70.
This is just the latest in a long line of funny Bruce Pearl posts.
There was the time he wore an orange sportscoat.
And the time he ripped off the orange sportscoat, the shirt and posed like a wrestler.
And of course the time he sweated through his jacket (not orange).
He sat in the student section and with several of his players painted their bodies orange with the letters to spell Go Vols on their chests. Pearl was the "V".
Coach Pat Summitt appeared to acknowledge him and gestured enthusiastically at Pearl.
Duke won the game 74-70.
This is just the latest in a long line of funny Bruce Pearl posts.
There was the time he wore an orange sportscoat.
And the time he ripped off the orange sportscoat, the shirt and posed like a wrestler.
And of course the time he sweated through his jacket (not orange).
Monday, January 22, 2007
What Happened to Caldwell?
I'm still puzzled by play of Reche Caldwell who dropped two wide open passes, one in the endzone and one when he was completely uncovered.
What was wrong with him?
a) fixed the game
b) coked up (but apparently his eyes are always like that)
c) just got nervous
What was wrong with him?
a) fixed the game
b) coked up (but apparently his eyes are always like that)
c) just got nervous
Thoughts on Your Thoughts
In the Your Thoughts post five of you chimed in with picks.
Scza, Billa and the Master all had Colts and Saints.
Beers (VOR) and I both had Patriots and Bears.
Only Josh "The Gambler" Hughes, got both games right.
Scza, Billa and the Master all had Colts and Saints.
Beers (VOR) and I both had Patriots and Bears.
Only Josh "The Gambler" Hughes, got both games right.
The Conference Championships are Poop
Chicago Bears 39 New Orleans Saints 14
Chicago dominated the game early forcing a bunch of fumbles (recovering 2 of them) but they were unable to capitalize as they should have with touchdowns and that let the Saints back into the game. They got to within two on a late first half touchdown and an 88 yard catch by Reggie Bush on the worst thrown ball in playoff history. But when they got the ball back with the chance to take the lead, the Bears pressure forced Brees to ground the ball (penalty in the endzone) resulting in a safety. To be fair, Brees didn't have a lot of choices, he couldn't have scrambled, he didn't want to fire the ball over the middle and he couldn't take the sack.
But that safety changed the whole game around and then Grossman and Berrian hooked up on a great touchdown, followed by another turnover which the Bears converted into a touchdown to seal the victory.
Indianapolis Colts 38 New England Patriots 34
A classic! Peyton Manning's coming out party. After the Assante Samuel interception I thought he was going to curl up and die. But he didn't. He fought back and got a key field goal at the end of the first half.
Then in the second half the Colts were the better team. They scored four touchdowns in the second half 3 by slow white guys (Jeff Saturday, Dan Klecko and Peyton Manning).
The Patriots couldn't stop them, Manning was doing everything he wanted.
But maybe the biggest play of the game (other than the Reche Caldwell drops), was the 12 men on the field penalty on the Patriots, with 3:22 to go and a 3 point lead. Who knows what might have happened, what plays would have been called, but if New England gets a first down there, they win the game.
If Manning deserves all the blame when they lose, he deserves a healthy portion of the credit for this one. He played like a man, and how has a chance to shake his choker label for good.
Chicago dominated the game early forcing a bunch of fumbles (recovering 2 of them) but they were unable to capitalize as they should have with touchdowns and that let the Saints back into the game. They got to within two on a late first half touchdown and an 88 yard catch by Reggie Bush on the worst thrown ball in playoff history. But when they got the ball back with the chance to take the lead, the Bears pressure forced Brees to ground the ball (penalty in the endzone) resulting in a safety. To be fair, Brees didn't have a lot of choices, he couldn't have scrambled, he didn't want to fire the ball over the middle and he couldn't take the sack.
But that safety changed the whole game around and then Grossman and Berrian hooked up on a great touchdown, followed by another turnover which the Bears converted into a touchdown to seal the victory.
Indianapolis Colts 38 New England Patriots 34
A classic! Peyton Manning's coming out party. After the Assante Samuel interception I thought he was going to curl up and die. But he didn't. He fought back and got a key field goal at the end of the first half.
Then in the second half the Colts were the better team. They scored four touchdowns in the second half 3 by slow white guys (Jeff Saturday, Dan Klecko and Peyton Manning).
The Patriots couldn't stop them, Manning was doing everything he wanted.
But maybe the biggest play of the game (other than the Reche Caldwell drops), was the 12 men on the field penalty on the Patriots, with 3:22 to go and a 3 point lead. Who knows what might have happened, what plays would have been called, but if New England gets a first down there, they win the game.
If Manning deserves all the blame when they lose, he deserves a healthy portion of the credit for this one. He played like a man, and how has a chance to shake his choker label for good.
Horrible
With every Syracuse team, except for the 2003 version, they start to play, get your hopes up, then play well below expectations and lose to a team they should crush. Most of you probably didn't see the game since the end coincided with the beginning of the NFC Championship game. Except for Mike, because Stacey hates football they went to the SU game at the Garden and missed out on football. But my brother-in-law has two TVs available so I was able to watch the Bears-Saints and be witness to another SU collapse.
The game started horribly as Anthony Mason Jr. went off and St. John’s hit 3 3s and took a 13-2 lead. Then the Red Storm went in the tank and made only 4 of their next 27 shots. But SU was almost as bad; at one point the teams missed 7 straight shots, meaning 2 minutes of no scoring at all.
But SU picked it up and took a lead right before the half, but as always they allowed a late basket (almost 2, though the second shot was gangsta swatted by Watkins) and only had a one point lead.
The Orange were flat again to start the second half and after Watkins had a dick up his ass, St. John’s got an easy dunk to take an 8 point lead.
Then Devendorf took over. He scored 16 of SU’s next 19 points culminating in a 3-pointer that gave SU at 55-53 lead (a 19-9 run).
But then Anthony Mason hit another 3 (which Nichols answered) but Avery Patterson hit a 3 and was fouled on some very lazy defense by Devendorf.
After another 3 by Patterson (7 points in 30 seconds) SU trailed by 4 with 55 seconds and St. John’s had the ball. I don’t disagree with not fouling but they played great D, forced a bad shot and no one pursued the rebound. Then the Storm passed it around for 16 seconds and SU couldn’t catch them to commit a foul. The last 55 seconds ran off without SU touching the ball.
The game started horribly as Anthony Mason Jr. went off and St. John’s hit 3 3s and took a 13-2 lead. Then the Red Storm went in the tank and made only 4 of their next 27 shots. But SU was almost as bad; at one point the teams missed 7 straight shots, meaning 2 minutes of no scoring at all.
But SU picked it up and took a lead right before the half, but as always they allowed a late basket (almost 2, though the second shot was gangsta swatted by Watkins) and only had a one point lead.
The Orange were flat again to start the second half and after Watkins had a dick up his ass, St. John’s got an easy dunk to take an 8 point lead.
Then Devendorf took over. He scored 16 of SU’s next 19 points culminating in a 3-pointer that gave SU at 55-53 lead (a 19-9 run).
But then Anthony Mason hit another 3 (which Nichols answered) but Avery Patterson hit a 3 and was fouled on some very lazy defense by Devendorf.
After another 3 by Patterson (7 points in 30 seconds) SU trailed by 4 with 55 seconds and St. John’s had the ball. I don’t disagree with not fouling but they played great D, forced a bad shot and no one pursued the rebound. Then the Storm passed it around for 16 seconds and SU couldn’t catch them to commit a foul. The last 55 seconds ran off without SU touching the ball.
Derek's Wildest Dream a Nightmare?
New York Times article on the dangers of porn in HD. I'm posting the entire text because the Times has a subscription website. If you don't want to read about porn, or you are my mother-in-law, please scroll past this post.
The XXX industry has gotten too graphic, even for its own tastes.
Pornography has long helped drive the adoption of new technology, from the printing press to the videocassette. Now pornographic movie studios are staying ahead of the curve by releasing high-definition DVDs.
They have discovered that the technology is sometimes not so sexy. The high-definition format is accentuating imperfections in the actors — from a little extra cellulite on a leg to wrinkles around the eyes.
Hollywood is dealing with similar problems, but they are more pronounced for pornographers, who rely on close-ups and who, because of their quick adoption of the new format, are facing the issue more immediately than mainstream entertainment companies.
Producers are taking steps to hide the imperfections. Some shots are lit differently, while some actors simply are not shot at certain angles, or are getting cosmetic surgery, or seeking expert grooming.
“The biggest problem is razor burn,” said Stormy Daniels, an actress, writer and director.
Ms. Daniels is also a skeptic. “I’m not 100 percent sure why anyone would want to see their porn in HD,” she said.
The technology’s advocates counter that high definition, by making things clearer and crisper, lets viewers feel as close to the action as possible.
“It puts you in the room,” said the director known as Robby D., whose films include “Sexual Freak.”
The pornographers’ progress with HD may also be somewhat slowed by Sony, one of the main backers of the Blu-ray high-definition disc format. Sony said last week that, in keeping with a longstanding policy, it would not mass-produce pornographic videos on behalf of the movie makers.
The decision has forced pornographers to use the competing HD-DVD format or, in some cases, to find companies other than Sony that can manufacture copies of Blu-ray movies.
The movie makers assert that it is shortsighted of Sony to snub them, given how pornography helps technologies spread.
“When you’re introducing a new format, it would seem like the adult guys can help,” said Steven Hirsch, co-chief executive officer of Vivid Entertainment Group, a big player in the industry. Mr. Hirsch added that high definition, regardless of format, “is the future.”
Despite the challenges, pornographers — who distributed some 7,000 new movies on DVD last year and sold discs worth $3.6 billion in the United States — are rapidly moving to high-definition.
One major company, Digital Playground, plans to release its first four HD-DVD titles this month, and plans four new ones each month. In March, Vivid plans to release “Debbie Does Dallas ... Again,” its first feature for both HD-DVD and Blu-ray.
Vivid, like Digital Playground, has been shooting with high-definition cameras for two years to build up a catalog of high-definition movies. Both studios have released the movies in standard definition but plan to make the high-definition versions available as compatible disc players and televisions become more popular.
The studios said their experience using the technology gives them an advantage in understanding how to cope with the mixed blessing of hypercrisp images. Their techniques include using postproduction tools that let them digitally soften the actors’ skin tone.
“It takes away the blemishes and the pits and harshness and makes it look like they have baby skin,” said the director known as Joone, who made “Pirates,” one of the industry’s top-selling videos. It will be available this month in high-definition.
Joone does not use a last name, but he does use a number of techniques to keep his films blemish-free. They include giving out lifestyle tips.
“I tell the girls to work out more, cut down on the carbs, hit the treadmill,” he said.
Within the industry, the issue seems to have created a difference in perspective that cuts roughly along gender lines. Some male actors have begun using makeup to mitigate wrinkles or facial flaws, but generally they, and the male directors, are less worried about high-definition’s glare and more enamored of the technology.
Ms. Daniels said that attitude was just so typical of men.
“Men are all about outdoing each other, being up with the times, being cool, having the latest technology,” she said. “They’re willing to sacrifice our vanity and imperfections to beat each other” to high-definition, she said.
Other female actors say they generally like working with high-definition — except for the cosmetic-surgery part.
Jesse Jane, one of the industry’s biggest stars, plans to go under the knife next month to deal with one side effect of high-definition. The images are so clear that Ms. Jane’s breast implants, from an operation six years ago, can be seen bulging oddly on screen.
“I’m having my breasts redone because of HD,” she said.
The stretch marks on Ms. Jane from seven years ago when she gave birth to her son are also more apparent. But she deals with those blemishes in a simpler way: by liberal use of tanning spray.
Still, Ms. Jane likes the technology, as does her close friend Kirsten Price, 25, who appeared in “Manhunters” and “Just Like That.”
“HD is great because people want to see how people really look,” Ms. Price said. “People just want to see what’s real.”
Ms. Price is allowing them to do so, mostly. She had laser treatments to diminish tiny purple veins on her thighs that weren’t visible to viewers before.
“You can see things you cannot see with the naked eye. You see skin blemishes; you see cottage cheese,” said Robbie D. “But some cellulite is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s kind of sexy.”
The technology makes the experience more intimate, he said. “People look to adult movies for personal contact, and yet they’re still not getting it. HD lets them see a little bit more of the girl.”
That’s not necessarily good, said Savanna Samson, an actress who last December directed her first movie, “Any Way You Want Me.” During a scene in which she played a desperate housewife, she ran into a problem: the high-definition camera revealed she had a tiny ill-placed pimple.
“We kept stopping and trying to hide it. We put on makeup and powder, but there was no way,” Ms. Samson said. Finally, they tried another approach: “We just changed positions,” she said.
The XXX industry has gotten too graphic, even for its own tastes.
Pornography has long helped drive the adoption of new technology, from the printing press to the videocassette. Now pornographic movie studios are staying ahead of the curve by releasing high-definition DVDs.
They have discovered that the technology is sometimes not so sexy. The high-definition format is accentuating imperfections in the actors — from a little extra cellulite on a leg to wrinkles around the eyes.
Hollywood is dealing with similar problems, but they are more pronounced for pornographers, who rely on close-ups and who, because of their quick adoption of the new format, are facing the issue more immediately than mainstream entertainment companies.
Producers are taking steps to hide the imperfections. Some shots are lit differently, while some actors simply are not shot at certain angles, or are getting cosmetic surgery, or seeking expert grooming.
“The biggest problem is razor burn,” said Stormy Daniels, an actress, writer and director.
Ms. Daniels is also a skeptic. “I’m not 100 percent sure why anyone would want to see their porn in HD,” she said.
The technology’s advocates counter that high definition, by making things clearer and crisper, lets viewers feel as close to the action as possible.
“It puts you in the room,” said the director known as Robby D., whose films include “Sexual Freak.”
The pornographers’ progress with HD may also be somewhat slowed by Sony, one of the main backers of the Blu-ray high-definition disc format. Sony said last week that, in keeping with a longstanding policy, it would not mass-produce pornographic videos on behalf of the movie makers.
The decision has forced pornographers to use the competing HD-DVD format or, in some cases, to find companies other than Sony that can manufacture copies of Blu-ray movies.
The movie makers assert that it is shortsighted of Sony to snub them, given how pornography helps technologies spread.
“When you’re introducing a new format, it would seem like the adult guys can help,” said Steven Hirsch, co-chief executive officer of Vivid Entertainment Group, a big player in the industry. Mr. Hirsch added that high definition, regardless of format, “is the future.”
Despite the challenges, pornographers — who distributed some 7,000 new movies on DVD last year and sold discs worth $3.6 billion in the United States — are rapidly moving to high-definition.
One major company, Digital Playground, plans to release its first four HD-DVD titles this month, and plans four new ones each month. In March, Vivid plans to release “Debbie Does Dallas ... Again,” its first feature for both HD-DVD and Blu-ray.
Vivid, like Digital Playground, has been shooting with high-definition cameras for two years to build up a catalog of high-definition movies. Both studios have released the movies in standard definition but plan to make the high-definition versions available as compatible disc players and televisions become more popular.
The studios said their experience using the technology gives them an advantage in understanding how to cope with the mixed blessing of hypercrisp images. Their techniques include using postproduction tools that let them digitally soften the actors’ skin tone.
“It takes away the blemishes and the pits and harshness and makes it look like they have baby skin,” said the director known as Joone, who made “Pirates,” one of the industry’s top-selling videos. It will be available this month in high-definition.
Joone does not use a last name, but he does use a number of techniques to keep his films blemish-free. They include giving out lifestyle tips.
“I tell the girls to work out more, cut down on the carbs, hit the treadmill,” he said.
Within the industry, the issue seems to have created a difference in perspective that cuts roughly along gender lines. Some male actors have begun using makeup to mitigate wrinkles or facial flaws, but generally they, and the male directors, are less worried about high-definition’s glare and more enamored of the technology.
Ms. Daniels said that attitude was just so typical of men.
“Men are all about outdoing each other, being up with the times, being cool, having the latest technology,” she said. “They’re willing to sacrifice our vanity and imperfections to beat each other” to high-definition, she said.
Other female actors say they generally like working with high-definition — except for the cosmetic-surgery part.
Jesse Jane, one of the industry’s biggest stars, plans to go under the knife next month to deal with one side effect of high-definition. The images are so clear that Ms. Jane’s breast implants, from an operation six years ago, can be seen bulging oddly on screen.
“I’m having my breasts redone because of HD,” she said.
The stretch marks on Ms. Jane from seven years ago when she gave birth to her son are also more apparent. But she deals with those blemishes in a simpler way: by liberal use of tanning spray.
Still, Ms. Jane likes the technology, as does her close friend Kirsten Price, 25, who appeared in “Manhunters” and “Just Like That.”
“HD is great because people want to see how people really look,” Ms. Price said. “People just want to see what’s real.”
Ms. Price is allowing them to do so, mostly. She had laser treatments to diminish tiny purple veins on her thighs that weren’t visible to viewers before.
“You can see things you cannot see with the naked eye. You see skin blemishes; you see cottage cheese,” said Robbie D. “But some cellulite is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s kind of sexy.”
The technology makes the experience more intimate, he said. “People look to adult movies for personal contact, and yet they’re still not getting it. HD lets them see a little bit more of the girl.”
That’s not necessarily good, said Savanna Samson, an actress who last December directed her first movie, “Any Way You Want Me.” During a scene in which she played a desperate housewife, she ran into a problem: the high-definition camera revealed she had a tiny ill-placed pimple.
“We kept stopping and trying to hide it. We put on makeup and powder, but there was no way,” Ms. Samson said. Finally, they tried another approach: “We just changed positions,” she said.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
If Reche Caldwell Wrote This Blog
There would be a post called "I'm a douche." He dropped two of the easiest passes of his life. And although a lot of things happened after those two plays, they were huge nails in the coffin of the Patriots dynasty which may very well have just died.
FDU Furious
Last night Mrs. Poop and I went to eat at On The Border because it was the only place where the wait was less than an hour. Anyway, they seated us in this backroom and about half an hour later a party comes into this backroom. They are expecting to have the whole room, but we are still eating...right in the middle of their group.
They were being so loud and obnoxious, moving tables, yelling, complaining.
Then we realized they were the Farleigh Dickinson ladies bowling team (and their parents).
We were FDU Furious.
They were being so loud and obnoxious, moving tables, yelling, complaining.
Then we realized they were the Farleigh Dickinson ladies bowling team (and their parents).
We were FDU Furious.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Blades of Steel
When I first heard about this movie, I belittled it as being only for idiots but the trailer actually looks pretty good. I just don't understand why Will Ferrell has to take his shirt off in every movie & SNL skit. We've seen it. It's not funny anymore.
Playoff Predictions
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS -3 new england patriots
The Patriots of Brady and Belichick own the Colts of Manning and Dungy. I throw out the last two games because they didn't happen in the playoffs. You say this year is different? The Colts are playing tough defense? They are not relying on Manning? I'll believe it. But not until I see it.
Chance of Colts winning the game: ZERO
CHICAGO BEARS -2 1/2 new orleans saints
Defense versus offense. The Bears defense did not play well against the Seahawks. And the Saints are much better than them. But the Bears are pissed off. They need to get to Brees and rattle his cage a little. Plus only about 10% of the time do both road teams win on championship weekend, and it hasn't happened in more than 10 years.
Chance of Bears winning the game: 100%
Chance of Bears covering the spread: 99%
The Patriots of Brady and Belichick own the Colts of Manning and Dungy. I throw out the last two games because they didn't happen in the playoffs. You say this year is different? The Colts are playing tough defense? They are not relying on Manning? I'll believe it. But not until I see it.
Chance of Colts winning the game: ZERO
CHICAGO BEARS -2 1/2 new orleans saints
Defense versus offense. The Bears defense did not play well against the Seahawks. And the Saints are much better than them. But the Bears are pissed off. They need to get to Brees and rattle his cage a little. Plus only about 10% of the time do both road teams win on championship weekend, and it hasn't happened in more than 10 years.
Chance of Bears winning the game: 100%
Chance of Bears covering the spread: 99%
Girlz is Dumm
I hate e-mail forwards, even the ones that will potentially make Dan Greco rich beyond his wildest dreams if I will just take the time to read it. And I seldom, if ever, post an e-mail forward but this one is so true and so smart I had no choice but to share it.
"Knock knock
Oh hi, how's it going? It's me! Every girl ever. I'm really looking forward to this date. I'm not nearly as attractive as you remember me being because when we met the bar was dark and you were drunk. Come on in.
Let's start off with the unavoidable tour of my incredibly typical post-college-girl apartment.
You'll notice that I went ahead and purchased everything that Ikea and Pier 1 have ever produced. There's my decorative birdcage over there even though I don't have a bird, and there's my gay wicker basket with bamboo poles in it. I don't know what the hell that's thing's all about, but I bought it.
Hey check it out, I have more candles in here than a Roman Catholic Church. Doesn't it smell like Hazelnut!? If I were to light all of my candles at once you could see my apartment from space! I fucking love candles!
Come on into the living room.
Oh, I see you met my cat there. That's "Freddy Paws Jr." Why don't you pet him and act like you like cats even though you hate cats? There you go. Oh, he took a little swing at your eye there huh? Yeah, he'll do that. Hey, let's check out the kitchen.
Hey look at my refrigerator. There are pictures all over it! Look at all these pictures of me and my equally vacuous friends from college! We were so crazy! You can tell we're really good friends because our faces are all pressed up against each other like that.
And check it out, we're holding up alcoholic beverages to the camera in every single picture. That's to prove that we were partying. College was so fun! But of course I don't talk to any of these girls anymore because now they're all bitches.
Let's go back into the hallway!
Hey, before we leave I'm going to go in the bathroom for ten minutes for some mysterious reason. Why don't you sit awkwardly in my big, stupid, round papizan chair over there while you wait for me. It's like you're sitting in a hug! Be right back...
Sorry that took a half an hour, I don't know what the hell I was doing in there. Let's go!
Wow! Thanks for opening my car door for me! I'm totally going to blow that meaningless gesture out of proportion and delude myself into thinking that you're a really good guy because that's what I want to believe.
Well, here we are at the restaurant. No thanks waiter, I don't need to see a menu, just bring me some expensive things. Hey I know, while we wait, I'll tell you all about my unspeakably boring job. I hate my boss. He's a jerk! I might get another job. Maybe something in pharmaceutical sales.
Now let's talk about my family. I love my family. I want you to love my family. I want my family to love you. I want you to make love to my family! I want you to go golfing with my semi-retarded brother Travis. That would be so God damned cute!
Wow! I can't believe I ordered all this food! I have no intention of eating any of it. No thanks waiter, we don't need a box. Just throw it out.
Hey, I've got an idea, let's go to a bar and have an after dinner drink! It'll be great, it will be just like how we're drinking here, only it will be louder and we'll have to stand up. Come on!
See, isn't this better? Oh hey, what a coincidence. Look over there! It's a group of my friends that I knew was going to be here. Let's go over there so that they can judge you!
Hey, I have to go to the bathroom for a half an hour again for some reason. You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Christine! Christine's so ugly she scares kids! Talk to her! She has a job and a family that she wants to talk to you about too. Be right back.
I'm back! Sorry I was gone for three hours, there was a line. I want to go home now.
Well here we are at my door again. This was really fun for me and not you. You should pretend like we're going to do it again sometime! Maybe I'll see you at Target a few months from now and we can avoid eye contact because you never called me. Here, have this awkward goodnight kiss that's as empty as my soul. Good night!"
The part about the pictures with the faces pressed close together, so true.
"Knock knock
Oh hi, how's it going? It's me! Every girl ever. I'm really looking forward to this date. I'm not nearly as attractive as you remember me being because when we met the bar was dark and you were drunk. Come on in.
Let's start off with the unavoidable tour of my incredibly typical post-college-girl apartment.
You'll notice that I went ahead and purchased everything that Ikea and Pier 1 have ever produced. There's my decorative birdcage over there even though I don't have a bird, and there's my gay wicker basket with bamboo poles in it. I don't know what the hell that's thing's all about, but I bought it.
Hey check it out, I have more candles in here than a Roman Catholic Church. Doesn't it smell like Hazelnut!? If I were to light all of my candles at once you could see my apartment from space! I fucking love candles!
Come on into the living room.
Oh, I see you met my cat there. That's "Freddy Paws Jr." Why don't you pet him and act like you like cats even though you hate cats? There you go. Oh, he took a little swing at your eye there huh? Yeah, he'll do that. Hey, let's check out the kitchen.
Hey look at my refrigerator. There are pictures all over it! Look at all these pictures of me and my equally vacuous friends from college! We were so crazy! You can tell we're really good friends because our faces are all pressed up against each other like that.
And check it out, we're holding up alcoholic beverages to the camera in every single picture. That's to prove that we were partying. College was so fun! But of course I don't talk to any of these girls anymore because now they're all bitches.
Let's go back into the hallway!
Hey, before we leave I'm going to go in the bathroom for ten minutes for some mysterious reason. Why don't you sit awkwardly in my big, stupid, round papizan chair over there while you wait for me. It's like you're sitting in a hug! Be right back...
Sorry that took a half an hour, I don't know what the hell I was doing in there. Let's go!
Wow! Thanks for opening my car door for me! I'm totally going to blow that meaningless gesture out of proportion and delude myself into thinking that you're a really good guy because that's what I want to believe.
Well, here we are at the restaurant. No thanks waiter, I don't need to see a menu, just bring me some expensive things. Hey I know, while we wait, I'll tell you all about my unspeakably boring job. I hate my boss. He's a jerk! I might get another job. Maybe something in pharmaceutical sales.
Now let's talk about my family. I love my family. I want you to love my family. I want my family to love you. I want you to make love to my family! I want you to go golfing with my semi-retarded brother Travis. That would be so God damned cute!
Wow! I can't believe I ordered all this food! I have no intention of eating any of it. No thanks waiter, we don't need a box. Just throw it out.
Hey, I've got an idea, let's go to a bar and have an after dinner drink! It'll be great, it will be just like how we're drinking here, only it will be louder and we'll have to stand up. Come on!
See, isn't this better? Oh hey, what a coincidence. Look over there! It's a group of my friends that I knew was going to be here. Let's go over there so that they can judge you!
Hey, I have to go to the bathroom for a half an hour again for some reason. You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Christine! Christine's so ugly she scares kids! Talk to her! She has a job and a family that she wants to talk to you about too. Be right back.
I'm back! Sorry I was gone for three hours, there was a line. I want to go home now.
Well here we are at my door again. This was really fun for me and not you. You should pretend like we're going to do it again sometime! Maybe I'll see you at Target a few months from now and we can avoid eye contact because you never called me. Here, have this awkward goodnight kiss that's as empty as my soul. Good night!"
The part about the pictures with the faces pressed close together, so true.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Strippers' Mugshots
A sting at a Houston strip club resulted in the arrests of 11 strippers. Smoking Gun has the mugshots of 10 of them. Look how awful these women look under normal lighting and without their makeup. And they were arrested for prostitution, men were paying money to fuck these hoes.
Boy Genius
The odyssey of a gifted 9 year-old boy who channeled his smarts in the wrong direction:
Semaj stole an Acura that was left running outside a neighbor's house and was quickly spotted by police. Police pursued him at 80 to 90 mph until he took an exit and the engine blew, after which the car went over a curb and coasted into a tree.
He refused to come out of the car, so officers broke a window to unlock a door and immediately recognized him as a frequent runaway and car thief. Last month he also crashed a stolen car before being caught by police, and more recently he was caught in a stolen car that had run out of gas.
His mother believes he learned to drive from playing video games on a PlayStation.
She had told police not to bring him home if he got in any more trouble, but the local juvenile detention center wouldn't take him because he was too young.
So he went home, and the next morning he was missing again.
He went to the airport because he didn't like Tacoma, Washington and wanted to get to his grandfather in Dallas.
Somehow he boarded a flight for Phoenix, and changed and got on a flight for San Antonio (evidently the wrong flight) where he was apprehended.
Southwest Airlines is trying to figure out how he got through airport security and on the flights.
He must have had a boarding pass and since he was so young they didn't ask him for photo ID.
The boy's mother, Sakinah Booker, said he dislikes the neighborhood where the family lives and is afraid of a sex offender who lives nearby.
She also says he needs a male role model.
I think he just needs a better way to use his smarts and energy.
Semaj stole an Acura that was left running outside a neighbor's house and was quickly spotted by police. Police pursued him at 80 to 90 mph until he took an exit and the engine blew, after which the car went over a curb and coasted into a tree.
He refused to come out of the car, so officers broke a window to unlock a door and immediately recognized him as a frequent runaway and car thief. Last month he also crashed a stolen car before being caught by police, and more recently he was caught in a stolen car that had run out of gas.
His mother believes he learned to drive from playing video games on a PlayStation.
She had told police not to bring him home if he got in any more trouble, but the local juvenile detention center wouldn't take him because he was too young.
So he went home, and the next morning he was missing again.
He went to the airport because he didn't like Tacoma, Washington and wanted to get to his grandfather in Dallas.
Somehow he boarded a flight for Phoenix, and changed and got on a flight for San Antonio (evidently the wrong flight) where he was apprehended.
Southwest Airlines is trying to figure out how he got through airport security and on the flights.
He must have had a boarding pass and since he was so young they didn't ask him for photo ID.
The boy's mother, Sakinah Booker, said he dislikes the neighborhood where the family lives and is afraid of a sex offender who lives nearby.
She also says he needs a male role model.
I think he just needs a better way to use his smarts and energy.
Hyponatremia
A woman who competed in a radio station's contest to see how much water she could drink without going to the bathroom died of water intoxication
Jennifer Strange, 28, was found dead hours after taking part in the "Hold Your Wee for a Wii" contest in which KDND 107.9 promised a Nintendo Wii video game system for the winner.
Investigation showed she died from water intoxication.
Initially, contestants were handed 8-ounce bottles of water to drink every 15 minutes.
As the contest wore on they were given larger bottles.
One listener called in to tell the DJs that someone could die.
"Yeah, we're aware of that," one of them said.
Another DJ laughed: "Yeah, they signed releases, so we're not responsible. We're OK."
"Is anybody dying in there?" a DJ asked during the show. "We got a guy who's just about to die," the other responded, and all the DJs laughed.
"I like that we laugh about that," another said.
"Make sure he signs the release. ... Get the insurance on that, please."
All ten radio station employees involved in the contest were fired and the police are investigating.
Mrs. Strange was trying to win the Wii for her kids.
Jennifer Strange, 28, was found dead hours after taking part in the "Hold Your Wee for a Wii" contest in which KDND 107.9 promised a Nintendo Wii video game system for the winner.
Investigation showed she died from water intoxication.
Initially, contestants were handed 8-ounce bottles of water to drink every 15 minutes.
As the contest wore on they were given larger bottles.
One listener called in to tell the DJs that someone could die.
"Yeah, we're aware of that," one of them said.
Another DJ laughed: "Yeah, they signed releases, so we're not responsible. We're OK."
"Is anybody dying in there?" a DJ asked during the show. "We got a guy who's just about to die," the other responded, and all the DJs laughed.
"I like that we laugh about that," another said.
"Make sure he signs the release. ... Get the insurance on that, please."
All ten radio station employees involved in the contest were fired and the police are investigating.
Mrs. Strange was trying to win the Wii for her kids.
Hibachi Cools the Knicks
The Knicks valiant comeback effort came up just short against the Wizards. Once again JC was Christlike in hitting clutch shots to give the Knicks the lead with 12 seconds to go. But the strategy to double team Gilbert Arenas (which worked most of the game) backfired when he passed out of the double and the Knicks scrambling to cover left Caron Butler open under the basket for the game winning dunk.
Disaster Averted
Syracuse almost suffered one of the worst defeats in school history until Eric Devendorf and a missed front end of a 1-and-1 saved their sorry asses.
SU dominated the first half of the game to point where I called Bill and asked him to hire a hearse because “Terrence Roberts be killing em.”
Roberts had 16 points in the first half on a number of dunks and follows.
Watkins had 8 blocks and SU led by as many as 19.
Cincinnati closed the lead but couldn’t get much closer than 11, and that’s where it stood with 7 minutes to go.
Then SU kept missing shot after shot (and getting the offensive rebounds) and turning it over. Cincy scored 7 straight points to cut it to 1.
Then Devendorf (by the far the best and gutsiest player on the team) hit a 3 (which was immediately answered) and two free throws to go back up by 3.
More missed shots, more turnovers and a bad 3 point attempt by Nichols trying to be the hero, gave Cincy the ball back and Sikes hit his 8th three of the game to put Cincy up by 2.
That’s when I texted Bill saying this was the worst loss in school history. Not sure if he had turned the game off because he seemed surprised when he texted back “we lost?”
Thanks to two missed free throws by Cincinnati - the first would have made it a four point game, the second on the front of a 1-and-1 – and four makes by Nichols and Devendorf, SU regained the lead and held on for a much closer than it should have been victory.
SU dominated the first half of the game to point where I called Bill and asked him to hire a hearse because “Terrence Roberts be killing em.”
Roberts had 16 points in the first half on a number of dunks and follows.
Watkins had 8 blocks and SU led by as many as 19.
Cincinnati closed the lead but couldn’t get much closer than 11, and that’s where it stood with 7 minutes to go.
Then SU kept missing shot after shot (and getting the offensive rebounds) and turning it over. Cincy scored 7 straight points to cut it to 1.
Then Devendorf (by the far the best and gutsiest player on the team) hit a 3 (which was immediately answered) and two free throws to go back up by 3.
More missed shots, more turnovers and a bad 3 point attempt by Nichols trying to be the hero, gave Cincy the ball back and Sikes hit his 8th three of the game to put Cincy up by 2.
That’s when I texted Bill saying this was the worst loss in school history. Not sure if he had turned the game off because he seemed surprised when he texted back “we lost?”
Thanks to two missed free throws by Cincinnati - the first would have made it a four point game, the second on the front of a 1-and-1 – and four makes by Nichols and Devendorf, SU regained the lead and held on for a much closer than it should have been victory.
Tricky Vick
Michael Vick reluctantly surrendered a water bottle to security at Miami International Airport that contained a residue "closely associated with marijuana," police said Wednesday.
He entered a concourse at the airport with the 20-ounce bottle. He eventually handed it over and boarded his flight to Atlanta. But his initial reluctance to turn over the bottle aroused suspicion among airport security screeners,
The bottle was found to have a hidden compartment that contained "a small amount of dark particulate and a pungent aroma closely associated with marijuana."
The compartment was hidden by the bottle's label so that it appeared to be a full bottle of water when held upright.
He entered a concourse at the airport with the 20-ounce bottle. He eventually handed it over and boarded his flight to Atlanta. But his initial reluctance to turn over the bottle aroused suspicion among airport security screeners,
The bottle was found to have a hidden compartment that contained "a small amount of dark particulate and a pungent aroma closely associated with marijuana."
The compartment was hidden by the bottle's label so that it appeared to be a full bottle of water when held upright.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
24 in 24 Hours
Less than 24 hours after it aired on Fox DVD versions of the first four hours this season of "24" were on store shelves for $14.98.
Just to make my position clear, I loved 24 when it started, but first season petered out. I hated the second season and stopped watching because it's clear the writers ran out of good ideas and instead went with contrived ones.
Anyway, I don't care about 24 but I do care about the distribution method.
Here is what I want: a show or movie that I can watch on any format at any time, anywhere.
Sometimes I would like to watch a old movie on a portable DVD player in the car. Or maybe I'd like to watch a new TV show that aired last night on my video iPod on a plane. Or maybe I there's a new movie that just came out that I want to watch on my big screen TV in surround sound (that's hypothetical, I still have a small TV).
But why can't we just get to the point where we can watch whatever, whenever, wherever. I guess we have to wait for Shakira to take over.
Just to make my position clear, I loved 24 when it started, but first season petered out. I hated the second season and stopped watching because it's clear the writers ran out of good ideas and instead went with contrived ones.
Anyway, I don't care about 24 but I do care about the distribution method.
Here is what I want: a show or movie that I can watch on any format at any time, anywhere.
Sometimes I would like to watch a old movie on a portable DVD player in the car. Or maybe I'd like to watch a new TV show that aired last night on my video iPod on a plane. Or maybe I there's a new movie that just came out that I want to watch on my big screen TV in surround sound (that's hypothetical, I still have a small TV).
But why can't we just get to the point where we can watch whatever, whenever, wherever. I guess we have to wait for Shakira to take over.
Mets Moves
Resigning Endy Chavez to a 1-year, $1.75 million was a good move. We needed a backup outfielder and he earned his spot with his performance last year. He will forever be remembered for The Catch even though the Mets lost that game. But he clearly played above his abilities last year and I'm glad he didn't get a multi-year contract.
I have no idea what the Mets gave Scott Schoeneweis so much money ($10.8m over 3 years) but wouldn't give basically the same money to Chad Bradford. I guess they felt like they need a lefty in the pen to go with Feliciano.
And the Jorge Sosa signing is pretty good to me even though he had a crappy year (3-11) last season. The guy has ability and if the Jacket (Peterson) can work his magic maybe the Mets will have something. If not all they lost was $1.25 million.
I have no idea what the Mets gave Scott Schoeneweis so much money ($10.8m over 3 years) but wouldn't give basically the same money to Chad Bradford. I guess they felt like they need a lefty in the pen to go with Feliciano.
And the Jorge Sosa signing is pretty good to me even though he had a crappy year (3-11) last season. The guy has ability and if the Jacket (Peterson) can work his magic maybe the Mets will have something. If not all they lost was $1.25 million.
Song of the Week
Heaven - John Legend
At first I wasn't on the John Legend bandwagon, I found his songs very slow, boring and uninteresting. But this one has a little life to it.
Enjoy!
At first I wasn't on the John Legend bandwagon, I found his songs very slow, boring and uninteresting. But this one has a little life to it.
Enjoy!
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Celebrating Martin Luther King Day
I went to the Knicks game with The Concierge to celebrate Martin Luther King Day. Unlike last year when the Knicks lost and I got blamed for mushing the whole season, this time they pulled one out, to beat the Kings.
Jamal Crawford aka JC was a Christ figure in scoring 8 points in the last minute or so including two huge buckets.
The Concierge and I have adopted David Lee as our favorite player and we serenaded him with a version of our old "Eddie Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" [Wilkins] chant.
We hate Jared Jeffries and don't understand why he gets so much time.
We liked Balkman's hustle on defense but he pussied out on two shots he should have dunked and tried to lay them up instead...and missed.
Kevin Martin killed us. Deadeye shooter.
Shareef Abdur-Rahim also had a good game and the Concierge thinks he should be on the government watch list.
Jamal Crawford aka JC was a Christ figure in scoring 8 points in the last minute or so including two huge buckets.
The Concierge and I have adopted David Lee as our favorite player and we serenaded him with a version of our old "Eddie Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" [Wilkins] chant.
We hate Jared Jeffries and don't understand why he gets so much time.
We liked Balkman's hustle on defense but he pussied out on two shots he should have dunked and tried to lay them up instead...and missed.
Kevin Martin killed us. Deadeye shooter.
Shareef Abdur-Rahim also had a good game and the Concierge thinks he should be on the government watch list.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Rangers Hottie
A former Rangers dancer/cheerleader (I didn't even know they had such a thing) is suing the team for sexual harassment. Now the team is firing back saying she was the problem.
Courtney Prince allegedly:
-referred to a mixed-race lineup of skaters as "my Oreo."
-accused of calling Asian-American skater Angela Chiang "my geisha."
-threatened one of the two African-American skaters, by saying, "I'll find another black girl to replace you."
-urged the women to wolf down diet pills and one of them got hooked.
-threatened skaters with firing if they did not lose weight
-ordered skaters to spend off-hours in tanning salons and to pad their bras
-using a crude word [I love playing guess the crude word] said the skaters' goal was to appear sexually attractive and available.
-constantly talked about her sex life, saying, for example, that she hated to come in early because she could have been [having sex]
-led at least one discussion about oral sex.
-talked about particular sex acts that she enjoyed ... which she said she did on occasion depending on the guy
Courtney Prince allegedly:
-referred to a mixed-race lineup of skaters as "my Oreo."
-accused of calling Asian-American skater Angela Chiang "my geisha."
-threatened one of the two African-American skaters, by saying, "I'll find another black girl to replace you."
-urged the women to wolf down diet pills and one of them got hooked.
-threatened skaters with firing if they did not lose weight
-ordered skaters to spend off-hours in tanning salons and to pad their bras
-using a crude word [I love playing guess the crude word] said the skaters' goal was to appear sexually attractive and available.
-constantly talked about her sex life, saying, for example, that she hated to come in early because she could have been [having sex]
-led at least one discussion about oral sex.
-talked about particular sex acts that she enjoyed ... which she said she did on occasion depending on the guy
Your Thoughts?
Anyone want to use the comments section to discuss the NFL championship games?
Chicago vs. New Orleans is a tossup unless the Bears defense regains their swagger.
And Colts - Patriots is a game for the ages. How do you pick this one? Think the Colts will finally break through?
Chicago vs. New Orleans is a tossup unless the Bears defense regains their swagger.
And Colts - Patriots is a game for the ages. How do you pick this one? Think the Colts will finally break through?
High Stakes Poker Returns
For poker junkies who are tired of the typical all in crap of televised tournament poker, I strongly suggest High Stakes Poker on Game Show Network which starts it's third season tonight.
It's really interesting to see these pros play with only other pros and they gamble much differently when they are playing for real money and not tournament chips.
The worst part of last season was the constant focus on prop bets, which we weren't privy to, so it was hard to follow the action. Apparently those will be eliminated this year.
Which means the worst part of this year is going to be the presence of luckbox and WSOP main event champion Jamie Gold. Main event runner-up Paul Wasicka is also going to appear.
I love the Sopranos motiff in the ads.
Speaking of poker, one of our favorite Poopheads, Amber Freed's Husband wrote in to report that he finished 122nd out of 3701 in a poker stars tournament, but because of rebuys the prize pool was more than $45,000. It took almost 6 hours, for him so the winner must have played for 8-10 hours at least.
It's really interesting to see these pros play with only other pros and they gamble much differently when they are playing for real money and not tournament chips.
The worst part of last season was the constant focus on prop bets, which we weren't privy to, so it was hard to follow the action. Apparently those will be eliminated this year.
Which means the worst part of this year is going to be the presence of luckbox and WSOP main event champion Jamie Gold. Main event runner-up Paul Wasicka is also going to appear.
I love the Sopranos motiff in the ads.
Speaking of poker, one of our favorite Poopheads, Amber Freed's Husband wrote in to report that he finished 122nd out of 3701 in a poker stars tournament, but because of rebuys the prize pool was more than $45,000. It took almost 6 hours, for him so the winner must have played for 8-10 hours at least.
Golden Globes
The Golden Globe Awards are tonight and I hate award shows and never watch them.
But there is one thing I like about the Golden Globes; when some fashion hack refers to a woman's breasts as her "golden globes."
Happens every year.
But there is one thing I like about the Golden Globes; when some fashion hack refers to a woman's breasts as her "golden globes."
Happens every year.
LT Was Pissed
LaDanian Tomlinson was pissed at the end of the Chargers-Patriots game and got into a scuffle with a couple New England players who had been mocking the ridiculous, spasmodic, "Lights Out", sack dance of Shawne Merriman.
"I would never react in that way. I was very upset," Tomlinson said. "When you go to the middle of our field and start doing the dance Shawne Merriman is known for, that is disrespectful. They showed no class and maybe that comes from the head coach."
This reminds me of when those evil jerks on the St. Louis Cardinals imitated our Jose chant.
"I would never react in that way. I was very upset," Tomlinson said. "When you go to the middle of our field and start doing the dance Shawne Merriman is known for, that is disrespectful. They showed no class and maybe that comes from the head coach."
This reminds me of when those evil jerks on the St. Louis Cardinals imitated our Jose chant.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
The Playoffs are Poop
Indianapolis Colts 15 Baltimore Ravens 6
The Colts defense did it again. The defense that gave up almost 400 yards on the ground to the Jacksonville held another good ground game in check. They also picked off Steve McNair twice, in crucial situations. Peyton Manning hasn't played well throwing 5 INTs and only one touchdown in the two playoff games. But he’s winning for a change, which is nice.
A huge turning point in the game came in the fourth quarter when Ed Reed picked off Peyton Manning. It turned out not to hurt the Colts because it was 3rd and long and the pass resulted in the same change of field position that a punt would have. And Steve McNair gave the turnover right back. The problem was, Reed lateraled the ball before he went out of bounds which could have resulted in a long return, but a whistle blew the play dead.
At that point you knew the Ravens needed a big play because their offense just wasn’t getting it done against the suddenly stout Indianapolis defense.
New Orleans Saints 27 Philadelphia Eagles 24
Probably the best game of the playoffs so far. The Eagles killed themselves with penalties particularly the false start that cost them a big first down with 2 minutes to go. Instead of going for it on 4th and 15 Andy Reid took the chickenshit way out and punted; and never got the ball back.
The game was dominated by the running backs; McAllister and Bush combined for almost 200 yards rushing and Westbrook had a great game also, including a great 62 yard touchdown run.
The Eagles just couldn’t stop the run and that was their undoing as the Saints ran it down their throats for 5 minutes in the fourth quarter.
One other highlight, the early hit by Sheldon Brown on Reggie Bush. Impressive that Bush returned and played so well.
Chicago Bears 27 Seattle Seahawks 24
The Bears escaped with a win and surprisingly, the problem was the defense, not Rex Grossman. Rex threw one TD which really wasn’t his fault. The other turnover, the fumble that set up the Seahawks second touchdown was more symptomatic of Grossman’s troubles. He refused to take a sack and ended up fumbling the ball away.
Another great turn of events (similar to Seattle-Dallas) occurred at the end of the third quarter.
With the score 24-21, Chicago was in great position to score the go ahead touchdown.
Then Seattle stopped them and forced a field goal opportunity. Advantage Seahawks.
A false start penalty gave Chicago a first down. Advantage Bears.
But Chicago couldn’t get it across and seemed likely to settle for the game-tying field goal.
Until Rex Grossman threw an interception. Advantage Seahawks.
But on the first play Matt Hasselbeck gave the interception right back. Advantage Bears.
Starting at the 32 Chicago couldn’t move the ball and chickenshit Lovie wouldn’t give Gould a crack at a 49 yard field goal, so they punted. Advantage Seahawks.
Chicago’s defense forced a three and out and Devin Hester, the Windy City Flyer, returned the punt 62 yards for a touchdown. Advantage Bears.
But Ricky Manning Jr., the Denny’s Destroyer, committed an illegal block penalty (it was a good call, and it did help spring Hester) and the return was called back. Advantage Seahawks.
All of that happened within 5 minutes of game time. But the Bears drove it down for the game tying field goal and won in overtime after taking the shackles off Grossman; he threw a 30 yard pass to Rashied Davis to set up the field goal.
New England Patriots 24 San Diego Chargers 21
Another great game in a weekend of great games. And though it didn’t go down exactly like I said it would Marty Schottenheimer did make some key mistakes while the Patriots capitalized on some opportunities.
First of all, if any other QB had played the way Tom Brady did yesterday, (say Peyton Manning or Rex Grossman) he’d be getting ripped. But Brady deserves a little slack because of his track record and his drive at the end of the game.
The Patriots drive at the end of the first half was huge psychologically to be down only 4 instead of 11.
Then in the third quarter the Chargers really started to unravel. The Pats were able to get a field goal to cut the lead to one thanks to these mistakes: a muffed punt by Parker, an illegal contact on Drayton Florence and then disastrously, a 15-yard penalty on Florence for a head butt.
And that was followed by a Rivers interception (Tomlinson should have gotten at least a 5-yard face mask penalty), but the Patriots couldn’t convert.
The Chargers drove all the way down the field, killed 5 minutes, scored a touchdown, took an 8 point lead and it looked like they had put the game away.
And then on fourth and five Brady threw his third interception of the game and Marlon McCree made a huge mistake – KNOCK IT DOWN!
He never should have caught the ball. It was fourth down. As you know he got stripped by the great Troy Brown (Robert Horry of the NFL), Marty Schottenheimer wasted a time out and Tom Brady took over. 7 yards, 12 yards, 9 yards, touchdown. And then a direct snap to Faulk for the 2 point conversion? Think Marty had the onions for that?
And when Brady got the ball back it was more of the same, setting up the game winning field goal with a 49 yard pass to Caldwell.
But San Diego had one more chance but didn’t have enough time due to the wasted time out because of a challenge, and another wasted TO after an injury time out. Also they used 25 seconds to get to the line after a 14 yard gain and another 15 seconds to get to the line after a yard gain to spike the ball. One more TO would have made a world of difference.
The Colts defense did it again. The defense that gave up almost 400 yards on the ground to the Jacksonville held another good ground game in check. They also picked off Steve McNair twice, in crucial situations. Peyton Manning hasn't played well throwing 5 INTs and only one touchdown in the two playoff games. But he’s winning for a change, which is nice.
A huge turning point in the game came in the fourth quarter when Ed Reed picked off Peyton Manning. It turned out not to hurt the Colts because it was 3rd and long and the pass resulted in the same change of field position that a punt would have. And Steve McNair gave the turnover right back. The problem was, Reed lateraled the ball before he went out of bounds which could have resulted in a long return, but a whistle blew the play dead.
At that point you knew the Ravens needed a big play because their offense just wasn’t getting it done against the suddenly stout Indianapolis defense.
New Orleans Saints 27 Philadelphia Eagles 24
Probably the best game of the playoffs so far. The Eagles killed themselves with penalties particularly the false start that cost them a big first down with 2 minutes to go. Instead of going for it on 4th and 15 Andy Reid took the chickenshit way out and punted; and never got the ball back.
The game was dominated by the running backs; McAllister and Bush combined for almost 200 yards rushing and Westbrook had a great game also, including a great 62 yard touchdown run.
The Eagles just couldn’t stop the run and that was their undoing as the Saints ran it down their throats for 5 minutes in the fourth quarter.
One other highlight, the early hit by Sheldon Brown on Reggie Bush. Impressive that Bush returned and played so well.
Chicago Bears 27 Seattle Seahawks 24
The Bears escaped with a win and surprisingly, the problem was the defense, not Rex Grossman. Rex threw one TD which really wasn’t his fault. The other turnover, the fumble that set up the Seahawks second touchdown was more symptomatic of Grossman’s troubles. He refused to take a sack and ended up fumbling the ball away.
Another great turn of events (similar to Seattle-Dallas) occurred at the end of the third quarter.
With the score 24-21, Chicago was in great position to score the go ahead touchdown.
Then Seattle stopped them and forced a field goal opportunity. Advantage Seahawks.
A false start penalty gave Chicago a first down. Advantage Bears.
But Chicago couldn’t get it across and seemed likely to settle for the game-tying field goal.
Until Rex Grossman threw an interception. Advantage Seahawks.
But on the first play Matt Hasselbeck gave the interception right back. Advantage Bears.
Starting at the 32 Chicago couldn’t move the ball and chickenshit Lovie wouldn’t give Gould a crack at a 49 yard field goal, so they punted. Advantage Seahawks.
Chicago’s defense forced a three and out and Devin Hester, the Windy City Flyer, returned the punt 62 yards for a touchdown. Advantage Bears.
But Ricky Manning Jr., the Denny’s Destroyer, committed an illegal block penalty (it was a good call, and it did help spring Hester) and the return was called back. Advantage Seahawks.
All of that happened within 5 minutes of game time. But the Bears drove it down for the game tying field goal and won in overtime after taking the shackles off Grossman; he threw a 30 yard pass to Rashied Davis to set up the field goal.
New England Patriots 24 San Diego Chargers 21
Another great game in a weekend of great games. And though it didn’t go down exactly like I said it would Marty Schottenheimer did make some key mistakes while the Patriots capitalized on some opportunities.
First of all, if any other QB had played the way Tom Brady did yesterday, (say Peyton Manning or Rex Grossman) he’d be getting ripped. But Brady deserves a little slack because of his track record and his drive at the end of the game.
The Patriots drive at the end of the first half was huge psychologically to be down only 4 instead of 11.
Then in the third quarter the Chargers really started to unravel. The Pats were able to get a field goal to cut the lead to one thanks to these mistakes: a muffed punt by Parker, an illegal contact on Drayton Florence and then disastrously, a 15-yard penalty on Florence for a head butt.
And that was followed by a Rivers interception (Tomlinson should have gotten at least a 5-yard face mask penalty), but the Patriots couldn’t convert.
The Chargers drove all the way down the field, killed 5 minutes, scored a touchdown, took an 8 point lead and it looked like they had put the game away.
And then on fourth and five Brady threw his third interception of the game and Marlon McCree made a huge mistake – KNOCK IT DOWN!
He never should have caught the ball. It was fourth down. As you know he got stripped by the great Troy Brown (Robert Horry of the NFL), Marty Schottenheimer wasted a time out and Tom Brady took over. 7 yards, 12 yards, 9 yards, touchdown. And then a direct snap to Faulk for the 2 point conversion? Think Marty had the onions for that?
And when Brady got the ball back it was more of the same, setting up the game winning field goal with a 49 yard pass to Caldwell.
But San Diego had one more chance but didn’t have enough time due to the wasted time out because of a challenge, and another wasted TO after an injury time out. Also they used 25 seconds to get to the line after a 14 yard gain and another 15 seconds to get to the line after a yard gain to spike the ball. One more TO would have made a world of difference.
I Didn't Know It Was Still On
Quite Frankly with Screamin A. Smith was mercifully canceled by ESPN. But that may be bad news because now he is going to expand his presence across ESPN (supposedly) by appearing on Sportscenter more often and doing interview specials around big events.
Nice Shirt
It's a time honored tradition for sports broadcasts to show hot chicks in the stands. But maybe they shouldn't have shown this particular one.
How Good Are the Buckeyes?
At football, good but not good enough.
At basketball, not sure yet, but probably the same answer.
The young Buckeyes hoopsters led by Greg Oden, Mike Conley and my favorite player Daequan Cook got their first big victory over Tennessee.
Greg Oden finally got the ball on offense and scored a career high 24 points.
Pizza Parlor Derek was ambivalent about the victory because it came against his favorite coach, Bruce Pearl.
Now OSU has lost it's 3 games against 3 of the top 4 teams in the country (North Carolina, Florida & Wisconsin), though North Carolina will slide down in the rankings after losing to Virginia Tech.
All of this is relevant, for two reasons.
First, I have $90 riding on the Ohio State to do in basketball what they couldn't do in football.
Second, Pizza Parlor Derek and I have made travel arrangements to visit Pizza Parlor Daren in Columbus. We will hopefully be seeing OSU against Michigan State but as yet we haven't secured tickets. We might have ticket connections but due to the astronomical prices on stubhub I fear we're going to end up going the scalper route.
Nonetheless, I look forward to the trip and to seeing Greg Oden in person.
At basketball, not sure yet, but probably the same answer.
The young Buckeyes hoopsters led by Greg Oden, Mike Conley and my favorite player Daequan Cook got their first big victory over Tennessee.
Greg Oden finally got the ball on offense and scored a career high 24 points.
Pizza Parlor Derek was ambivalent about the victory because it came against his favorite coach, Bruce Pearl.
Now OSU has lost it's 3 games against 3 of the top 4 teams in the country (North Carolina, Florida & Wisconsin), though North Carolina will slide down in the rankings after losing to Virginia Tech.
All of this is relevant, for two reasons.
First, I have $90 riding on the Ohio State to do in basketball what they couldn't do in football.
Second, Pizza Parlor Derek and I have made travel arrangements to visit Pizza Parlor Daren in Columbus. We will hopefully be seeing OSU against Michigan State but as yet we haven't secured tickets. We might have ticket connections but due to the astronomical prices on stubhub I fear we're going to end up going the scalper route.
Nonetheless, I look forward to the trip and to seeing Greg Oden in person.
Trade the Pick
In the last 6 NFL drafts the San Diego Chargers held the first overall pick twice.
Both times they traded the pick.
The first time they traded Mike Vick and got LaDanian Tomlinson and Drew Brees (the two best players in the NFL this season).
In 2004 they traded Eli Manning for Philip Rivers and Shawne Merriman.
All four players they acquired in those deals are better than both players they gave up.
Both times they traded the pick.
The first time they traded Mike Vick and got LaDanian Tomlinson and Drew Brees (the two best players in the NFL this season).
In 2004 they traded Eli Manning for Philip Rivers and Shawne Merriman.
All four players they acquired in those deals are better than both players they gave up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)