Another Redskins Embarrassment

The city of Washington took a break from obsessing over the future of RGIII (at this point he has none) for some good old gossip.
Here's what happened, Jessica McCloughan, the wife of GM Scott McCloughan

sent a couple nasty messages to a local reporter, Dianna Russini, on Twitter.

She asked Russini how many blow jobs she gave to get a story

And she accused Russini of sleeping with her husband.

The Redskins made her apologize, which she did, but a family member said she has been long suspicious of an affair between her husband and Russini.

Have You Ever Loved Something This Much?

Through various TV shows and stuff Jules has become quite interested in Star Wars and I showed them "A New Hope" and they loved it.
Since then, the countdown has been on for the new movie.

I took the kids to a special Star Wars event at the Disney Store. It was quite cool. The taught the kids to use Jedi Mind tricks to trick a storm trooper, and eventually they received the Medal of Bravery from the Galactic Republic.

Note: I did my parental duty and reminded them of the racial injustice that denied Chewbacca his rightful medal.

After that, they learned to draw R2-D2 (neither of them follows in my artistic footsteps) and were given a cardboard 3-d puzzle of Artoo (which was very difficult to put together).

It was quite cool to be let into the mall an hour early for this special event (mainly because we got a good parking spot), but the real goal was to get the big shoppers into the store.

Ever since we saw the first trailer for "The Force Awakens" Julian loved BB-8, the roly poly new droid, though he kept calling him "BBQ."
He said he liked him "because he's cute like me!"

So I bought him a stuffed action figure, and bought Chase the figurine set.

And for the rest of the day he carried around this little BB-8 everywhere saying "I'm obsessed with him."

And then when Mrs. Poop went to check on him during the night, this is what she saw.

I wish I could get back to those innocent days of childhood when a ten dollar toy provided so much joy and happiness that I couldn't bear to be away from it, not even for a second, not even while sleeping.

Incidentally the other BB-8 we saw while we were in the store was fuckin awesome.

It's very similar to a remote control car, except you use an app through your phone to move it around the house. And it does cool things like create a map of your house based on things it runs into, including you. And it can even play messages hologram style, I think.

Read the review to understand more.

Only problems: it costs $150, and Julian would want to sleep with it in his bed.

3000 Cars

This is the fleet of cars required for Saudi Arabia's King Salman's visit to Washington:

Another Hit To Personal Responsibility

The New England Patriots' balls were deflated in the AFC Championship game. It is almost certain that this was due to purposeful actions by members of organization. And it's hard to envision any scenario in which someone would do something like that without at the very least, being sure Tom Brady would want it that way.

The problem here with Roger Goodell is that he tried to make a statement. Instead of enforcing the penalties on the books for such an offense, he went way beyond what was collectively bargained (perhaps to dispel criticism that he is too hard on black players, perhaps because of negative publicity when he went with the defined punishment for Ray Rice) and a judge ruled he didn't have the authority to do so.

Yet somehow, Tom Brady is escaping this scot-free even though any sane person has to believe he at least "generally aware" of the plot to deflate the balls, and likely more involved in that.

Which once again reinforces the preferred attitude when doing something wrong: deny it, cover it up and when you get caught, blame the person who caught you for being overzealous. Worked for Bill Clinton.

Song of the Week

"Day One" - Tamia
"If I could do it all again I would
Give me the bad days along with the good
My heart is even more in love
Then it was on day one"

What Do You Give Me For? Harris Faulkner and Harris Faulkner, The Hamster

Fox News anchor Harris Faulkner is suing Hasbro for using her name for her a hamster in its Littlest Pet Shop series of toys.
"Hasbro's portrayal of Faulkner as a rodent is demeaning and insulting," says the lawsuit, which was filed Monday in U.S. District Court in New Jersey.
Her lawsuit says that in addition to sharing her name, the toy bears a physical resemblance to Faulkner's traditional professional appearance, including its complexion, eye shape and eye makeup design.

I don't agree that it looks like her, but no way should Hasbro have used her the exact name of a public figure. She doesn't deserve $5M for this but Hasbro should have known better.

Money Can't Buy Happiness

Maybe I'm going soft in my old age but I actually feel sorry for Markus Persson, the guy who created Minecraft, sold it and pocketed roughly a billion dollars in the process.
Persson, known as Notch to cool people like me, recently tweeted a series of unhappy thoughts about life as a famous billionaire.
"The problem with getting everything is you run out of reasons to keep trying, and human interaction becomes impossible due to imbalance.
Hanging out in ibiza with a bunch of friends and partying with famous people, able to do whatever I want, and I've never felt more isolated.
In sweden, I will sit around and wait for my friends with jobs and families to have time to do shit, watching my reflection in the monitor.
When we sold the company, the biggest effort went into making sure the employees got taken care of, and they all hate me now.
Found a great girl, but she's afraid of me and my life style and went with a normal person instead.
I would Musk and try to save the world, but that just exposes me to the same type of assholes that made me sell Minecraft again."

Half the internet thinks he is clinically depressed and needs medication and talk therapy. The other half thinks he's a whiny little baby who should shut up and realize how good he has it.

But on my little corner of the internet I think he's just a guy going through some things that he doesn't know how to process.
He probably never wanted to sell Mojang (Minecraft), but did so because it would greatly enrich his partners, investors and employees.
He's just lacking direction and purpose in his life right now.
He probably has a great time at these fancy parties and hanging out with his cool famous friends (Zedd tweeted at him and invited him to his show when he plays LA next month) but when he's at home and his friends are busy with work and family, he gets lonely and feels isolated. And in this case he decided to let it out.

This is Markus Persson's house. He paid 70 million dollars for it.

But I think we need to remember that in life you need a certain amount of money to live a comfortable life. But once you have food and shelter covered, and some money to buy stuff and go on vacation, each additional dollar like has a very small incremental impact on your happiness.

So I do feel for Notch, and hope that he can find something to fulfill him, give him worth and help him make meaningful personal relationships.

Song of the Week

"Made for You" - Alexander Cardinale
"there's not much that I know
been searchin' high and low
but one thing that is true
darling I was made for you"

Somewhere In Japan There is a Very Disappointed Teenage Boy

You may have heard the recent news that One Direction is breaking up. Maybe for only a brief time but I don't want to Google it to confirm.
Either way it has to come as shock to Nagiru Hiramatsu.
Two years ago when competing in the Little League World Series Hiramatsu told ESPN his favorite singer was One Direction.

Only problem is, between his accent and an idiot ESPN producer, it came out as Wandai Wrection.

Three Things You May Not Have Known About Body by Jake

Remember "Body by Jake" the 1990s fitness show? Well, Jake, whose real last name is Steinfeld, has had an interesting life.

Here are three things you might not have known about him:

1) He was the cab driver who picked up Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in "Coming to America"



2) He founded Major League Lacrosse

3) His niece, Hailee Steinfeld is an actress and pop star and her song "Love Myself" is blowing up big right now



Bonus thing you may not have known: the song is about masturbation.

Here's a sampling of the lyrics:

"When I get chills at night
I feel it deep inside without you, yeah
Know how to satisfy"

"I'm gonna touch the pain away
I know how to scream my own name"

"I'll take it nice and slow
Feeling good on my phone without you, yeah"

"The beautiful, it comes without you"

"I'm gonna put my body first
And love me so hard 'til it hurts"

Family Swims in a Backyard Pool

Did I mention it was a family of bears? This happened in Rockaway, New Jersey.

Song of the Week

"The Matrimony" - Wale featuring Usher
I'm actually quite surprised we haven't heard more about this collaboration between Wale and Jerry Seinfeild.

I Don't Know How Many Words There Are in a Video

Three videos from the internet that are worth watching:

San Francisco Giants remake the "Full House" opening theme


Daniel Negreanu does a clean version of NWA's "Fuck Tha Police"


Best video of the Chinese Explosion. I strongly recommend you watch the entire thing

Song of the Week

"Can't Feel My Face" - The Weekend
This one goes out to IK, from Geno

Who Are These Guys?

Player A: .159 BA, .196 OBP, .227 SLG, 88 AB/HR, 17 wRC+
Player B: .285 BA, .386 OBP, .512 SLG, 18 AB/HR, 153 wRC+ (100 is league average)

Player C: 57 1/3 inn, 1.57 ERA, 10.0 K/BB
Player D: 41 1/3 inn, 5.01 ERA, 2.9 K/BB

Eternal Optimist

Many times I am considered a pessimist when it comes to my favorite sports teams. But consider the Redskins, Mets and Knicks have won a title in 23, 28 and 42 years, you could argue that I am actually a realist.
And when I fired off my overly emotional and reactionary piece entitled "The Mets Will Never Win" I certainly lived up to my reputation.
But when you take a step back and analyze it, I am the most optimistic of all.
I am the one who thinks the front office has done a great job.
I am the one who thinks we should keep the guys we have.
I am the one who thinks the Mets are poised to be very very good for a very long time.
I am the one who thinks that when our good young players hit free agency (or before) the Mets will sign them to longer contracts.

The only thing that I was a little pessimistic about was the Mets chances to make the playoffs this year. But a sweep of the Nationals changes a lot. The Mets odds to make the playoffs after that heart-breaker against the Padres were 22%. Now, a 6-game winning streak has boosted them to 52%.

And once you get in the playoffs, you never know what can happen.

But you can always hope.

Song of the Week

"Say I'm Your Number One" - Princess

Julian's First Mets Game

I love the Mets. I don't know why, I just do. So many of my good childhood memories involve watching the Mets with Papa Poop. Obviously the entire 1986 season and of course World Series Game 6, just cemented it. When God made me, he tapped me on the head and said "Mets fan."
As a father there is nothing better than spending time with your kids. If you can do that while sharing something you love, and seeing them love it too, well, that feeling is better than just about anything I could possibly describe.
It's why I decided to make my children wait until they were five years old to take them to a live sporting event. And that event would have to be a Mets game. Just me and my son. This caused much controversy and tears, and I almost went back on it several times.
But I followed through and bought tickets for the Sunday game right before his birthday. Sunday, August 2nd. At 1pm. Until about two weeks before, when ESPN decided it would like to air the contest between the top two teams in the National League East to a national audience.
That delayed the time of the game until 8pm. Yikes. A little late for a youngster. Especially one such as Julian who goes hard all day, doesn't nap, but often asks to go to bed at night so he won't be "cranky all day tomorrow."
I was doubly irritated when I called to see if I could get a refund or an exchange (they said no) and was told the post-game Mr. Met Dash (the only thing he really understood and cared about) would not take place.
But I explained to Julian that neither he nor I deals very well with disappointment and this was just a test for us, to see if we could make the best of it.
I put on my brand new Mitchell & Ness 1986 Mets Keith Hernandez batting practice jersey and we put a blue tint in Jules's faux-hawk and we were ready to roll.

Trivia question for 1986 Mets: A Year to Remember aficionados: Keith is seen at batting practice, wearing this jersey, in one part of the video, what does he say?

The entire ride there he was peppering me with questions about how long it would go and what roads we're on until finally he said "so the cross bronx, the whitestone bridge, the whitestone expressway and Citifield -- BOOM!"

And several times he told me how long he had been waiting for this, each time recalibrating how long, until he just decided it was his whole life.

After stopping for the obligatory CitiField pictures

we headed to Mets plaza where a bunch of kids games and attractions were set up.
There was a Mr. Met Bouncy House,

a pitching area (I love this action shot, looks fundamentally sound),

and an art station where Jules colored a K.

After that we headed inside with a stop in the Mets museum. He enjoyed counting the plaques and I made him stop next to my favorite one.

And he wanted to pose with Casey Stengel.

Then we decided to go to our seats, because the thing he was the second most excited about (after running the bases, and way more than the actual game) was the helmet full of popcorn.

Due to our mutual love of popcorn, I had scouted this location as it appears to be the only one like it in the entire stadium. When purchasing tickets, I specifically picked a section near the stand, located behind Sec. 125, for easy refills. Though we only refilled it once, two big helpings of popcorn and a souvenir helmet for $12 is a downright steal by CitiField prices.

On the way up and down the aisle we noticed three Mets fans who had the same idea we had: Thor hammers. Jules became obsessed with these guys and they seemed to like him equally as much.

Midway during the game Jules asked "can we go back and see my friends? I want to ask them how the game is going?"

Finally the game started, though not well, as the second batter for the Nationals hit a home run to put the Mets down 1-0. By the second inning Jules was asking when the game would be over and I was really starting to worry.

And then it happened!

First it was Granderson, with a man on, to give the Mets the lead.

Then while we were still celebrating and high-fiving, Daniel Murphy hit one. Which I have to admit we didn't even see, or know what was happening until we heard the crowd reaction.

And finally when we started to settle down (and Julian put down his Thor hammer so he could clap more easily), Cespedes singled and then Duda completed the barrage with a home run that looked -- from our seats down the left field line -- like it was going to go foul.

But it stayed fair!

What ensued was a moment I will never forget. Julian, in a sea of screaming fans was shrieking from the bottom of his lungs, eyes popping out of his head, clapping and high-fiving and jumping up and down.

At this moment, I wish I had recorded video to share with you all. Because that was pure joy.

But in that moment, I'm glad I just existed in the moment. I didn't let the moment pass me by as I held up my iPhone.

I was jumping and screaming as loudly as anyone. I swear I will remember that moment, those home runs, the people around us, Julian's face, as long as I live. In 60 years when they wheel me out for my tapioca pudding they could ask me who hit those home runs, and I know I will remember, Granderson, Murphy and Duda.

From then, the game kind of zoomed on uneventfully, which is kind of a shame because Noah Syndergaard pitched a gem. And had it not been for the fashion in which the Mets scored those runs, the biggest memory from this game might have been him striking out Bryce Harper in the 8th inning with a 99 mph fastball.

A couple of times during the game Jules got a little impatient, but I soothed him with a pink lemonade (all the popcorn made him thirsty). And then they announced that there would in fact be the Mr. Met Dash after the game, which bumped his excitement level up, but also his impatience.

When the game finally ended and I slowly packed up our stuff he said "dad, come on, run the bases, let's go!"

When I did this with Chase three years ago, it took forever, we had to leave the Stadium, walk around the block and wait half an hour. This time we went right down the stairs, out the door and right back in. Obviously the security people wanted to go home to bed, because they were rushing parents and kids, and being downright rude about it. But I did manage to get some pictures of Julian on the field

And this video

You can see he got thrown off by the people rushing the kids off the field, he forgot to touch home plate.

But I think he was pretty happy.

Sometimes I feel (and I'm sure many others do) that the world is against me and my whole life is a struggle. But times like these (when something really important exceeds my wildest expectations), I really get this feeling that something out there (I call it the Universe) loves me and wants me to be happy. That's how I felt during this game.

And this feeling was worth waiting for.

The Mets Will Never Win

When I was 8 years old the Mets won the World Series with the best team I have ever seen in my lifetime. A team full of great young pitchers and solidified with some veteran acquisitions.
Chase turns 8 this year and will not have the same experience. In fact, the Mets will probably never win.
The reason why? Their fans are morons.
After years of listening to how they are cheap or stupid, Mets ownership and Sandy Alderson has panicked making three trades to acquire veteran players to solidify a team that isn't very good, despite its position just outside of the playoffs.
The Mets spent years and years wasting money and prospects on old injured players like Pedro Martinez and Johan Santana.
Even in the past few years when the Mets seemingly figured out what they were doing wrong, they still lit $100,000,000 on fire by giving in to Curtis Granderson, Bartolo Colon, Chris Young and Michael Cuddyer.
2015 was supposed to be the year, and if not for the injuries to Wheeler, Wright, D'Arnaud, Matz and Lagares (though he played through it) it might have been. But just because something doesn't work out doesn't mean that something different will.
Look around baseball, look at the teams that are doing well and have sustained it for years, like the San Francisco Giants and St. Louis Cardinals. They build from within, and they don't panic trade their best guys.
Heck, look at the Houston Astros, the Kansas City Royals and Minnesota Twins. They've built something.
Yes the Royals made a big trade for Cueto, but the time was right for them. They went to the World Series last year. The Mets didn't even break .500 yet.
The Mets aren't quite ready for this. Maybe next year would have been the year to trade prospects for veterans to put us over the hump. But this team wasn't ready and trading five young players for very temporary replacements isn't the answer.
It isn't going to help, it's only going to hurt.
And who will the Mets fans blame then? Hopefully, themselves.

Update:
I wrote the above while extremely upset. I don't honestly believe the Mets will never win. I do think these moves, especially the Gomez trade has reduced their chances. But if they do win a World Series and you want to tell me "I told you so" feel free. If they don't win, I will certainly be blaming all of you for why.
Talking with Master Bates, I realize my perspective isn't SO far out of whack with other Mets fans I just want to wait a little while longer because I don't think the team is ready yet. I also think I have a better understanding of the win curve and when it makes sense for teams to acquire expensive (in salary and acquisition costs) players. Also, we all agree about the fickle nature of the major league playoffs, but some of you seem convinced that if the Mets could just pick up a couple games on the Nats and squeak into the playoffs they could go deep and maybe win it all. I don't. I think that's incredibly remote. Even with these new players their playoff odds aren't great. 22.5% on FanGraphs maybe 25% with these acquisitions. Then take 10% of that to win the World Series, and that's being generous. So a 2-3% chance to win the Series this year is enough to trade five young players? Not to me it isn't.
I think the fickle nature of the playoffs means you want to build to be as good as possible for as long as possible. You want good players, signed long-term through their primes, and a thriving farm system to bring reinforcements when those players falter. I thought the Mets were on their way but they seriously jeopardized that with these trades for which I think there is very little upside.

Update II:
The trade didn't happen!

Song of the Week

"Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae)" - Silento
This is the dance craze that is sweeping the nation. Especially the Poop household were Mrs. Poop coached Chase in this before the neighborhood dance party and in an amazing bit of scouting she was 100% and this song was played. I was shocked by how many people knew it proficiently.

Gilbert Can Shoot, We Know That

Gilbert Arenas won too many prizes at the basketball shooting game at the Orange County Fair and was not allowed to play any further.

I hope he let each of his kids pick a favorite one or two and immediately drove the rest to a children's hospital.

The Moment You've All Been Waiting For

Diesel in Maine in 2007:



Diesel in Maine in 2008:


Diesel in Maine in 2009:


Diesel in Maine in 2010:


Diesel in Maine in 2011:

Diesel in Maine in 2012

Diesel in Maine in 2013

Diesel in Maine in 2014:

Diesel in Maine in 2015:

Song of the Week

"You and Me" - Lifehouse

Kiss Your Mother With That Mouth

Robbie Lawler won't be kissing anyone for a while I presume, because his lip was nearly ripped off his face during his fight with Rory MacDonald.

The old saw "you should have seen the other guy" holds true here as Robbie Lawler actually won the fight and held onto his belt, because he did this to Rory MacDonald's face

Song of the Week

"This Is How We Do It" - Montell Jordan
Billie would have disowned me if I had picked something different for 1995.

Chili Today, Hot Tamale

Why are thousands of men (and presumably a few women) paying attention to the Mexican weather report, even if they live thousands of miles away.

Yanet Garcia and her giant ass are the two reasons.