The World is Full of Morons

The New York Times used the following headline for Bridgegate:

Christie Ally to Plead Guilty in New Jersey Bridge Closings

One clever twitter users changed that to Kirstie Alley (and photoshopped her picture into an NYT screen grab) and a bunch of less clever Twitter users believed the actress was involved, or maybe they were just playing along.

Song of the Week

"Shut Up and Dance" - Walk the Moon

Let's Go Mets

Finally our years of patience are paying off and the Mets are playing great.
They have an 11-game winning streak after a 2-3 start (exactly the same as the 1986 Mets) and I am loving it.
The year I turned 8 the Mets won the World Series. This is the year Chase turns 8 and he's starting to get into the Mets as well.
Obviously they are playing great, getting great pitching, timely hits and teams are not making them pay for their mistakes.

Here are some reasons to be hopeful:
1) They're due. Bad luck in close games has plagued them for years and now it could be reversing itself.
2) They're doing it without being at full strength. Wright, D'Arnaud and Wheeler are all hurt. And Mejia is suspended, though we can't be sure he'll be any good if he comes back and isn't on the juice.
3) Help is still on the way. Steve Matz, Noah Syndergaard and Rafael Montero could all be in the starting rotation by next year and Dilson Herrera, Brandon Nimmo and Michael Conforto give the Mets some good hitting prospects as well.

But there are also reasons to worry:

1) The current lineup is old, 5 regulars are 29 or older (Murphy, Duda, Wright, Cuddyer and Granderson). The starting rotation is built for long-term success, 6 - 8 years. The lineup doesn't match in youthfulness and lots of reinforcements will need to come, and develop in order for the team to have the success I desire.

2) We're stuck with Terry Collins. He's a bad manager and at some point if the Mets make the playoffs he will blow a series. But we're not getting rid of him now.
3) The fear of the trade deadline deal. It would be an absolute disaster if the Mets make a panic move in July to improve this team that trades a player like Matz or Syndergaard and brings in an older player with a limited window. The Mets must resist the talk-radio temptation to sacrifice the future to play for this year.

This is still a work in progress, but as we can all see, it's nearly finished.

Song of the Week

"Not for Long" - B.o.B. featuring Trey Songz

Bat This Around

When the Mets scored 7 runs in the 4th inning on Sunday, 12 men came to bat. This gave me a great opportunity to explain to Chase what batting around meant.
I described it as when all 9 men bat in the same inning.
Unbeknownst to me, a debate was raging in baseball circles over whether batting around meant all 9 men, or 10 (a more literal interpretation).
I think it's 9 because batting "around" means getting it back to the first hitter, though not necessarily in that inning.
The biggest thing I learned in my research on this topic, is that there is no consensus and no right answer.

Somebody Get Her a Fendi Bag

I have been in love with Britt McHenry for a long time, ever since the first time I saw her covering the Redskins.
If Erin Andrews can get a huge mainstream career off being press-box hot, what could McHenry do with much better looks, much better reporting, and a better personality?
Andrews is so wooden and cheesy, McHenry can actually have a real chat, without a script and be funny and charming. When her and Lindsay Czarniak get together it's totes adorbs dorbs.
But any chance McHenry had of someday hosting Dancing with the Stars or filling in for Kelly Ripa probably went out the window when she was caught on camera berating a tow company employee.



It seems like Britt was eating at a Chinese restaurant and her car was towed.
Anyone would be upset in that circumstance. Many of us have been victims of overzealous towing. A huge fight broke out between IHOP and McDonald's in Fair Lawn over this. We also don't know if the woman was rude to her first or what else might have been said.
Obviously, she should not have acted this way. It's not acceptable to treat people like this, under any circumstances. But there are a lot of mitigating factors here that make it less bad, in my opinion. I don't think a suspension was necessary, as this had nothing to do with her employer, except for maybe some minor embarrassment.
While doing research for this post (google image search), I notice a lot of glam pictures of here, which kind of makes me believe she is one of these women who just wants the attention, the dresses, the hair, the accolades, she doesn't care about sports or the news or anything more than being famous. I have met a lot of women, and some men, like this in my time.
And of course, because she is so gorgeous, she probably gets everything she wants all the time so she never learned how to react in adverse situations with combative people, because she's never been in them before.

By the way, the headline is a reference to the LL Cool J song "Around the Way Girl" when he says a "Fendi bag and a bad attitude" puts him in a good mood. Since she puts me in a good mood, and she has a bad attitude, Britt is just a Fendi bag away from perfection.

3000 Words - ECB Protester Edition

A protester jumps on a table, interrupts ECB President Mario Draghi,

showers him with confetti,

while wearing a shirt that says "end the ECB DICK-tatorship."

Song of the Week

"Sandwich and a Soda" - Tamia
Now we know how she keeps Grant Hill satisfied. But I doubt he drives a Chevy Nova.
Great use of a sample from Little Anthony and the Imperials "Shimmy Ko Ko Bop."

Free-Range Parenting

A couple in Maryland, Sasha and Daniel Meitiv, are under investigation for possible child neglect for allowing their children to walk around their neighborhood alone.
The kids are 10 and 6 years old and were allowed to go to the park at 4pm and told to return at 6.
At some point during that window of time, a man walking his dog called police non-emergency because he was concerned about their well-being.
A police officer showed up and turned the kids over to Children's Protective Services.
That to me is bad enough, an alarmist douche calls the cops because kids are walking alone. It's not like they were toddlers, the older one is 10, certainly old enough to be responsible for himself and his sibling.
The only mitigating factor here is that apparently these kids are frequently walking alone in this neighborhood.
We also have a douche cop who showed up and couldn't determine that the kids were completely safe.
But the absolute worst part of this is that the authorities, police and CPS, kept the kids for more than four hours.
They didn't even try to contact the parents until 8pm. Two hours after the kids were expected home. And they didn't return the kids to their parents until 10:30 pm.
Too bad common sense didn't enter into the decision-making at any time or else the police could have taken the kids home, discussed it with the parents and avoid all this ugliness.
As someone who has been criticized for being a little too lax with the freedoms I give to Chase I side with the parents here.
If they feel the kids are responsible enough, and the neighborhood is safe enough, then they should allow the kids to walk to and from the playground.
Certainly I don't know if there are any other reasons to perceive these parents as neglecting their children, but judging from what we know, the neighbors should butt out and the cops and CPS should use their fuckin brains.

She Gave Wu Some Tang

On Divorce Court, a man accuses his wife of sleeping with the entire Wu-Tang Clan.



I'm sorry but I can't believe this woman. At the very least she performed oral sex on two group members and three security guys.

And a Child Shall Beat Them

Congratulations to Natalie for continuing a family tradition of great runs in Tournament Challenge.
Thanks to being the only Poophead to pick Duke to win it all she scored 1150 points, good enough for a finish just outside the top 10% nationally.
Unfortunately her triumph came at the expense of her older brother who for the second time experienced heartache on championship night.
Back in 2008, he wept when Memphis loss. But this year Evan took Wisconsin's defeat in stride.
The mother of these ace prognosticators finished third, proving the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I'm very proud of my boys who finished 4th and 5th and even picked their own brackets. I only changed one of Chase's picks, NC State to make the Final Four. I was holding my breath and actually rooting against them so I wouldn't have to tell him.
JuJu almost rode Wisconsin to a second place finish.
And even though I finished down the list, I was in great position to win my first title but Gonzaga and then Kentucky let me down.
And special mention for Damino, who didn't have enough faith in his own team to pick them. Had he done so, he would have been the runaway winner.

2014: Billy
2013: TON
2012: Reissberg
2011: Mrs. Poop
2010: Vacated (I forgot to keep accurate records)
2009: Mrs. Poop
2008: Pa Beers
2007: Michael

Song of the Week

"Chattahoochee" - Alan Jackson
"It gets hotter than a hoochie coochie."
One of the best things we discovered when we went away to college was there was a whole other class of music out there called "country" that we were never exposed to on Staten Island. This is one of the best of those songs.

I Still Hate the Dookies

Congratulations to Damino who vanquished his brother and took down Duke's 5th national title.
It was a great game and I really thought Wisconsin was going to win it until Grayson Allen took over.
With 13 minutes left Wisconsin took a 9 point lead.
Then Allen made a 3, a steal, got fouled while hustling for a loose ball and on that possession made a layup, got fouled and hit the free throw.

From 9 to 3 on the deficit in just about a minute based solely on the effort and execution of one player.

I don't believe much in momentum, but I do believe that the strategy of games change drastically based on lead size. Once Duke cut the lead so much so quickly, they never had to enter a desperation mode.

After that Kaminsky went cold, Tyus Jones went off and Duke won.

And Grayson Allen established himself and the next great white hated from Duke.

In 20 years he may have his own documentary.

The Curse Claims Another Victim

Just a few days after Misao Okawa died, Gertrude Weaver of Arkansas was named the world's oldest person.
Five days later, she died.

The world's oldest person curse claims another victim. Every time someone receives the title they die soon after.

Jeralean Talley, watch your back.

Brother vs. Brother

"The one thing that I do think about is after the game. There is going to be one winner and there is going to be one that is going to be totally disappointed. My thoughts go to that one that will not experience the thrill of victory." - Mama Damino

One brother will rejoice, one brother will revile.

In case you don't know, Damino went to law school at Duke, and Big Kev attended Wisconsin. And BK is actually in the Annapolis -- I mean, Indianapolis -- for the game.

I really don't know who is going to win, but I would have to favor Duke slightly. Watching them I've been incredibly impressed with their depth of talent and their ability to fast break without making mistakes.

Obviously Wisconsin slew the giant but that doesn't make them the presumptive champion. Sometimes teams that pull off that big victory have blown their proverbial load by the time they get to the title game.

It should be a great game and I look forward to watching it and may the best Damino win.

By the way, that quote at the top was actually said by Jack Harbaugh before his sons, John and Jim, coached against each other in the Super Bowl. But this is pretty much the same thing.

How They Did It

Due to Passover I didn't have the chance to watch the games on Saturday night as I would have liked. But I did notice three things that helped Wisconsin pull off the shocking upset:

1) That horrible uncalled shot clock violation. I know there were other calls that went against Wisconsin, but not as obvious nor as pivotal as this. The punch to Gasser's face wasn't a missed call. It was a judgment call. They reviewed and judged it to be incidental contact, not a malicious act. I agreed with that decision when I saw it. But the shot clock violation I saw blatantly and couldn't believe they missed it. And it did really change the tenor of the game.

2) Speaking of shot clock violations. Kentucky basically had 3 of them in the final five minutes. Just horrible. And when they did try to score they just handed it to a Harrison brother and let him recklessly drive the lane. Terrible endgame strategy from a team that has so many good options.

3) Wisconsin made the plays. Sam Dekker won the game with his step-back 3-pointer. All the other stuff wouldn't have mattered had Wisconsin not made they plays to win. And for that they deserve immense credit.

2015 Baseball Season Predictions

NL East: Washington Nationals
NL Central: St. Louis Cardinals
NL West: Los Angeles Dodgers
NL Wild Card: San Francisco Giants over Atlanta Braves

NLCS: Washington Nationals over Los Angeles Dodgers

AL East: Toronto Blue Jays
AL Central: Cleveland Indians
AL West: Anaheim Angels
AL Wild Card: Chicago White Sox over Seattle Mariners

ALCS: Anaheim Angels over Chicago White Sox

World Series: Anaheim Angels over Washington Nationals

NL MVP: Bryce Harper
AL MVP: Mike Trout
NL Cy Young: Clayton Kershaw
AL Cy Young: Felix Hernandez
NL Rookie of the Year: Kris Bryant
AL Rookie of the Year: Carlos Correa
NL Manager of the Year: Matt Williams
AL Manager of the Year: Robin Ventura
NL Comeback Player of the Year: Matt Harvey
AL Comeback Player of the Year: Shin-Soo Choo

He Looks Tougher

Boston Celtics center Kelly Olynyk played 22 minutes in a game against the Pacers with a hideous black eye caused by an elbow from teammate Shavlik Randolph. And he scored 19 points on 7 of 10 shooting.

Story suggested by Razor

Song of the Week

"Somebody" - Natalie La Rose featuring Jeremih
This is Mrs. Poop's Shazam jam. She figured out how to e-mail songs from Shazam and this is the first one she sent me.
It also has a nice sample from the late great Whitney Houston.
And I love big hoop earrings!

Tournament Thoughts: Elite Eight Sunday

His first name is really Lourawls? And he's a Junior? You'll never find -- a name as dumb as that.

The refs missed one when a Louisville player had his hand literally up through the next and hoop, but they didn't call anything.

Both sides victimized by poor free shooting down the stretch of regulation.

Huge mistake on that lane violation, giving Michigan State an extra point. It was absolutely the correct call though.

Terry Rozier following in the great tradition of volume shooters on Louisville. When they're hitting they win games for you, when they're not, they kill you. Somewhere Russ Smith is smiling.

Late-game strategy question: Dawson gets the rebound with 32 seconds left in overtime and a 2-point lead. I think he should have come down with it and forced Louisville to foul. If he misses Louisville gets a great chance to win or tie. Yes, he made it, but that doesn't necessarily make it the most winning long-term strategy.

Terrible possession by Louisville, waste 20 seconds and then throw it away without getting a shot. They would have been better off driving into someone and hoping to get a foul called.

Damn, I wish I had picked Michigan State for the Final Four. I seriously debated it, but chose Northern Iowa instead.

Seventh Final Four since 1999 for Michigan State. If it were Duke or Kentucky it would be impressive but at Michigan State it's amazing.

Two terrible late fouls by Sabonis in the first half. We always talk about that, how those fouls that put you in foul trouble come on the offensive end. And they interrupted a great Gonzaga comeback, aided by some brutal shooting from Duke.

If there's a loose ball and all ten players are equidistant from it, I like Pangos's chances to come away with it.

Adam Morrison in the crowd!

Jim Nantz loves the Bushes.

Not impressed with Wiltjer at all. He's no better than the third best player on the team. And he seems to shy away from contact. He missed a huge layup that would have tied the game at 53, and I think it was because he was worried about Okafor coming over.

Gonzaga completely choked down the stretch of this game, blew every opportunity.

This is what happens when you have a team full of great players. Great game by Matt Jones. Much needed lift.

For all the upsets early, three #1 seeds made the Final Four.

Congrats to the Daminos, Damino and BigKev, maybe their teams will face each other in the final game and the brothers will fight and beat the crap out of each other.