Julian's First Mets Game

I love the Mets. I don't know why, I just do. So many of my good childhood memories involve watching the Mets with Papa Poop. Obviously the entire 1986 season and of course World Series Game 6, just cemented it. When God made me, he tapped me on the head and said "Mets fan."
As a father there is nothing better than spending time with your kids. If you can do that while sharing something you love, and seeing them love it too, well, that feeling is better than just about anything I could possibly describe.
It's why I decided to make my children wait until they were five years old to take them to a live sporting event. And that event would have to be a Mets game. Just me and my son. This caused much controversy and tears, and I almost went back on it several times.
But I followed through and bought tickets for the Sunday game right before his birthday. Sunday, August 2nd. At 1pm. Until about two weeks before, when ESPN decided it would like to air the contest between the top two teams in the National League East to a national audience.
That delayed the time of the game until 8pm. Yikes. A little late for a youngster. Especially one such as Julian who goes hard all day, doesn't nap, but often asks to go to bed at night so he won't be "cranky all day tomorrow."
I was doubly irritated when I called to see if I could get a refund or an exchange (they said no) and was told the post-game Mr. Met Dash (the only thing he really understood and cared about) would not take place.
But I explained to Julian that neither he nor I deals very well with disappointment and this was just a test for us, to see if we could make the best of it.
I put on my brand new Mitchell & Ness 1986 Mets Keith Hernandez batting practice jersey and we put a blue tint in Jules's faux-hawk and we were ready to roll.

Trivia question for 1986 Mets: A Year to Remember aficionados: Keith is seen at batting practice, wearing this jersey, in one part of the video, what does he say?

The entire ride there he was peppering me with questions about how long it would go and what roads we're on until finally he said "so the cross bronx, the whitestone bridge, the whitestone expressway and Citifield -- BOOM!"

And several times he told me how long he had been waiting for this, each time recalibrating how long, until he just decided it was his whole life.

After stopping for the obligatory CitiField pictures

we headed to Mets plaza where a bunch of kids games and attractions were set up.
There was a Mr. Met Bouncy House,

a pitching area (I love this action shot, looks fundamentally sound),

and an art station where Jules colored a K.

After that we headed inside with a stop in the Mets museum. He enjoyed counting the plaques and I made him stop next to my favorite one.

And he wanted to pose with Casey Stengel.

Then we decided to go to our seats, because the thing he was the second most excited about (after running the bases, and way more than the actual game) was the helmet full of popcorn.

Due to our mutual love of popcorn, I had scouted this location as it appears to be the only one like it in the entire stadium. When purchasing tickets, I specifically picked a section near the stand, located behind Sec. 125, for easy refills. Though we only refilled it once, two big helpings of popcorn and a souvenir helmet for $12 is a downright steal by CitiField prices.

On the way up and down the aisle we noticed three Mets fans who had the same idea we had: Thor hammers. Jules became obsessed with these guys and they seemed to like him equally as much.

Midway during the game Jules asked "can we go back and see my friends? I want to ask them how the game is going?"

Finally the game started, though not well, as the second batter for the Nationals hit a home run to put the Mets down 1-0. By the second inning Jules was asking when the game would be over and I was really starting to worry.

And then it happened!

First it was Granderson, with a man on, to give the Mets the lead.

Then while we were still celebrating and high-fiving, Daniel Murphy hit one. Which I have to admit we didn't even see, or know what was happening until we heard the crowd reaction.

And finally when we started to settle down (and Julian put down his Thor hammer so he could clap more easily), Cespedes singled and then Duda completed the barrage with a home run that looked -- from our seats down the left field line -- like it was going to go foul.

But it stayed fair!

What ensued was a moment I will never forget. Julian, in a sea of screaming fans was shrieking from the bottom of his lungs, eyes popping out of his head, clapping and high-fiving and jumping up and down.

At this moment, I wish I had recorded video to share with you all. Because that was pure joy.

But in that moment, I'm glad I just existed in the moment. I didn't let the moment pass me by as I held up my iPhone.

I was jumping and screaming as loudly as anyone. I swear I will remember that moment, those home runs, the people around us, Julian's face, as long as I live. In 60 years when they wheel me out for my tapioca pudding they could ask me who hit those home runs, and I know I will remember, Granderson, Murphy and Duda.

From then, the game kind of zoomed on uneventfully, which is kind of a shame because Noah Syndergaard pitched a gem. And had it not been for the fashion in which the Mets scored those runs, the biggest memory from this game might have been him striking out Bryce Harper in the 8th inning with a 99 mph fastball.

A couple of times during the game Jules got a little impatient, but I soothed him with a pink lemonade (all the popcorn made him thirsty). And then they announced that there would in fact be the Mr. Met Dash after the game, which bumped his excitement level up, but also his impatience.

When the game finally ended and I slowly packed up our stuff he said "dad, come on, run the bases, let's go!"

When I did this with Chase three years ago, it took forever, we had to leave the Stadium, walk around the block and wait half an hour. This time we went right down the stairs, out the door and right back in. Obviously the security people wanted to go home to bed, because they were rushing parents and kids, and being downright rude about it. But I did manage to get some pictures of Julian on the field

And this video

You can see he got thrown off by the people rushing the kids off the field, he forgot to touch home plate.

But I think he was pretty happy.

Sometimes I feel (and I'm sure many others do) that the world is against me and my whole life is a struggle. But times like these (when something really important exceeds my wildest expectations), I really get this feeling that something out there (I call it the Universe) loves me and wants me to be happy. That's how I felt during this game.

And this feeling was worth waiting for.

The Mets Will Never Win

When I was 8 years old the Mets won the World Series with the best team I have ever seen in my lifetime. A team full of great young pitchers and solidified with some veteran acquisitions.
Chase turns 8 this year and will not have the same experience. In fact, the Mets will probably never win.
The reason why? Their fans are morons.
After years of listening to how they are cheap or stupid, Mets ownership and Sandy Alderson has panicked making three trades to acquire veteran players to solidify a team that isn't very good, despite its position just outside of the playoffs.
The Mets spent years and years wasting money and prospects on old injured players like Pedro Martinez and Johan Santana.
Even in the past few years when the Mets seemingly figured out what they were doing wrong, they still lit $100,000,000 on fire by giving in to Curtis Granderson, Bartolo Colon, Chris Young and Michael Cuddyer.
2015 was supposed to be the year, and if not for the injuries to Wheeler, Wright, D'Arnaud, Matz and Lagares (though he played through it) it might have been. But just because something doesn't work out doesn't mean that something different will.
Look around baseball, look at the teams that are doing well and have sustained it for years, like the San Francisco Giants and St. Louis Cardinals. They build from within, and they don't panic trade their best guys.
Heck, look at the Houston Astros, the Kansas City Royals and Minnesota Twins. They've built something.
Yes the Royals made a big trade for Cueto, but the time was right for them. They went to the World Series last year. The Mets didn't even break .500 yet.
The Mets aren't quite ready for this. Maybe next year would have been the year to trade prospects for veterans to put us over the hump. But this team wasn't ready and trading five young players for very temporary replacements isn't the answer.
It isn't going to help, it's only going to hurt.
And who will the Mets fans blame then? Hopefully, themselves.

Update:
I wrote the above while extremely upset. I don't honestly believe the Mets will never win. I do think these moves, especially the Gomez trade has reduced their chances. But if they do win a World Series and you want to tell me "I told you so" feel free. If they don't win, I will certainly be blaming all of you for why.
Talking with Master Bates, I realize my perspective isn't SO far out of whack with other Mets fans I just want to wait a little while longer because I don't think the team is ready yet. I also think I have a better understanding of the win curve and when it makes sense for teams to acquire expensive (in salary and acquisition costs) players. Also, we all agree about the fickle nature of the major league playoffs, but some of you seem convinced that if the Mets could just pick up a couple games on the Nats and squeak into the playoffs they could go deep and maybe win it all. I don't. I think that's incredibly remote. Even with these new players their playoff odds aren't great. 22.5% on FanGraphs maybe 25% with these acquisitions. Then take 10% of that to win the World Series, and that's being generous. So a 2-3% chance to win the Series this year is enough to trade five young players? Not to me it isn't.
I think the fickle nature of the playoffs means you want to build to be as good as possible for as long as possible. You want good players, signed long-term through their primes, and a thriving farm system to bring reinforcements when those players falter. I thought the Mets were on their way but they seriously jeopardized that with these trades for which I think there is very little upside.

Update II:
The trade didn't happen!

Song of the Week

"Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae)" - Silento
This is the dance craze that is sweeping the nation. Especially the Poop household were Mrs. Poop coached Chase in this before the neighborhood dance party and in an amazing bit of scouting she was 100% and this song was played. I was shocked by how many people knew it proficiently.

Gilbert Can Shoot, We Know That

Gilbert Arenas won too many prizes at the basketball shooting game at the Orange County Fair and was not allowed to play any further.

I hope he let each of his kids pick a favorite one or two and immediately drove the rest to a children's hospital.

The Moment You've All Been Waiting For

Diesel in Maine in 2007:



Diesel in Maine in 2008:


Diesel in Maine in 2009:


Diesel in Maine in 2010:


Diesel in Maine in 2011:

Diesel in Maine in 2012

Diesel in Maine in 2013

Diesel in Maine in 2014:

Diesel in Maine in 2015:

Song of the Week

"You and Me" - Lifehouse

Kiss Your Mother With That Mouth

Robbie Lawler won't be kissing anyone for a while I presume, because his lip was nearly ripped off his face during his fight with Rory MacDonald.

The old saw "you should have seen the other guy" holds true here as Robbie Lawler actually won the fight and held onto his belt, because he did this to Rory MacDonald's face

Song of the Week

"This Is How We Do It" - Montell Jordan
Billie would have disowned me if I had picked something different for 1995.

Chili Today, Hot Tamale

Why are thousands of men (and presumably a few women) paying attention to the Mexican weather report, even if they live thousands of miles away.

Yanet Garcia and her giant ass are the two reasons.

Song of the Week

"I Want To Know What Love Is" - Foreigner
This exercise in the music time machine is to not only find songs that I like, but also songs that typify the music of the era. No song checks both those boxes better than this one.

I Thought He Was Drunk That Entire Season With the Redskins

Former NFL quarterback Donovan McNabb was arrested on DUI charges last month in Arizona after hitting another vehicle at a traffic light, according to a police statement released Tuesday.

McNabb was arrested just before midnight on June 28 by police in Gilbert, Arizona, after rear-ending the other car, which was stopped at the traffic light.

It marks the second time in less than two years that McNabb has been arrested on DUI charges.

The statement from the Gilbert police did not specify whether McNabb took a field sobriety test and did not state what his blood-alcohol level was.

The Internet Breaks and Kim Kardashian's Ass is Not Involved

Federal authorities raided the home of Subway spokesman Jared Fogle Tuesday morning. FBI sources told CBS4 federal and state investigators were serving warrants at Fogle’s Zionsville home in connection with a child pornography investigation.

The raid started around 6:30 a.m. Tuesday. An evidence truck could be seen parked in the driveway. Investigators from the FBI and Indiana State Police were at the scene.

Earlier this year, Russell Taylor, the former director of the Jared Foundation started by Fogle, was arrested in a child pornography case. He was accused of possessing and producing child pornography. Investigators said a search of Taylor’s home turned up more than 500 videos with images of child pornography. Taylor unsuccessfully tried to kill himself while in jail.

Fogle said the foundation severed all ties with Taylor following the arrest. Investigators wouldn’t say if Tuesday’s raid was connected to that case.

Fogle gained national fame after attributing massive weight loss to eating Subway sandwiches. He was a freshman at Indiana University at the time. He later became a visible presence in Subway ad campaigns, pitching the restaurant’s sandwiches and touting their health benefits.

Song of the Week

"How Long" - Ace
1975 has got to be one of the worst years for music. I really couldn't find anything I liked on the list. And the few good songs were remakes. So I went with this one, even though it technically came out in 1974, it charted long enough in '75 to make the year end list.

Are You There Universe, It's Me, Margaret

A few Universe moments I have been sitting on for a few months:

1) Mrs. Poop messaged me to say a friend of Chase's kept calling Julian "Julius." Then I read this in Sports Illustrated:

On a somewhat unrelated note: how embarrassing is it for Sports Illustrated to make that mistake? And I have seen several other similarly unfathomable mistakes. I wish I could find the time they referred to the Pittsburgh Stealers.

2) I texted Master Bates to tell him that I made some money for The Spinners by playing one of their songs on my show. And he responded by saying he recently heard their version of "I'm Working My Way Back To You" (SOTW, 8/24/11 on the 80s channel because even though it was released in December 1979, it hit the charts in 1980.

3) Mrs. Poop was baking. She was adding sugar to her concoction and I kept saying "lend me some sugar, I am your neighbor." Shortly, after I was watching an episode of "I Bet You" where Phil had to go door-to-door trying to borrow a cup of sugar from Antonio's neighbors.

Meet the Matz

You could hardly hope for a better debut that what Steven Matz did for the Mets. Not only did pitch 7 2/3 innings in his debut, allowing only two runs (both solo homers, one to lead off the game) he helped his own cause with 3 hits and 4 RBI (a new Mets record for a major league debut, position players included).

But all anyone wants to talk about is his grandfather who seemed to say "holy shit" in reacting to his grandson's third hit of the game.



It really was a beautiful moment. A young man living out his childhood dream while his entire family (and one potentially sleazy agent) watched from a luxury box. And you could see the pride in his parents' faces. And when SNY spoke to his parents and it was revealed that his mom still does his laundry, Lori Matz said "he'll always be my baby."

Well, Mrs. Matz, your baby boy done good.

Hopefully this is just the first of many great moments for Matz as a Met.

And it should serve as a reminder to Mets fans during this frustrating season, there is reason to believe great things are in store for this team as Matz is just one-fifth of what could be a great starting rotation for many years to come.

The Watcher

A couple paid $1.3M for a house in Westfield, NJ and now they have fled the house and are suing the sellers for not disclosing that the house is being watched.

Shortly after they moved in the Broaddus family started receiving letters from someone called "The Watcher."

'My grandfather watched the house in the 1920s and my father watched in the 1960s. It is now my time,' wrote The Watcher. 'Do you need to fill the house with the young blood I requested?'
'Once I know their names I will call to them and draw them to me. I asked the (prior owners) to bring me young blood,' the first letter, dated June 5, read. 'And now I watch and wait for the day when they (sp) young blood will be mine again.'
'Have they found what is in the walls yet? In time they will. I am pleased to know your names and the names now of the young blood you have brought to me,' the letter reads.
'Will the young bloods play in the basement. Who has the rooms facing the street? I'll know as soon as you move in. It will help me to know who is in which bedroom then I can plan better.
Here's what drives me crazy about this. They are suing the previous owners for failing to disclose that "The Watcher" had been harassing them too.

The stalker has nothing to do with the house, he doesn't come with the house. It is a criminal engaging in criminal behavior. This is a matter for the police, not for the courts.

I'm sorry for their plight but I have to tag this "frivolous lawsuits."

Song of the Week

"You Were On My Mind" - We Five
This is not the song I expected to choose when I delved into top songs of 1965. I expected to find a bevy of Motown favorites, but this one stood out to me, I like it, and it does seem typical of the time. So let's go with it, 50 years ago, this is what popular music sounded like.

A Thin Line Between Genius and Insanity

At work a woman was eating a huge apple. Perhaps the biggest apple I've ever seen.
I said to her "it's a good thing that apple didn't fall on Isaac Newton's head. He wouldn't have been inspired to discover gravity. He would have gotten a concussion and probably died."

After laughing, another co-worker who overheard remarked on what a strange comment it was to make. He said it was funny but seem gobsmacked that my mind worked in such a way that something like that would come out based only on the stimulus of seeing a large apple.
Please vote whether the comment was funny or douchey, but also let me know in the comments if you think that comment is more indicative of genius, or of insanity.

Former Met Darryl Hamilton Killed in Murder-Suicide

Police have identified a man and woman found dead Sunday in a murder-suicide at a Houston home while their child was in in the house.
The bodies were found about 4:45 p.m. inside the house in the 11500 block of Island Breeze, according to the Pearland Police Department.
Police said officers were sent to the home on an emergency call about a disturbance. When they arrived, they found the body of Darryl Hamilton, 50, near the front entry way. The body of Monica Jordan, 44, was found in another part of the home.
Investigators said it appeared Hamilton had been shot more than once and Jordan died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
Police said the couple's 14-month-old child was also found unharmed in the home. The infant was turned over to the state's Child Protective Services.

3000 Words

This is what the Stanley Cup looks like when it goes through airport security:

This is the winner's photo after Sam Greenwood won the $1,000 buy-in No Limit Holdem tournament at the World Series of Poker for $319,000. I post this not because of the shirtless men, but because of the girl surrounded by shirtless men who is absolutely mortified.

It's my birthday, bitch! And Mrs. Poop thinks she's Skyler White, minus the Ted incident.

What Do You Give Me For? Bart Chilton and the Painting From "Ghostbusters II"

What do you give me for Bart Chilton, former Commissioner of the CFTC and Vigo the Carpathian of Moldavia, the painting in "Ghostbusters II".

Note: we saw this movie at Damino's 11th birthday party because Mama Damino would not let us see "No Holds Barred."

The Most Exciting Mets Prospect Since Alex Ochoa

Maybe I damned Akeel Morris with faint praise with that headline as I didn't even have time to finish this post before Morris suffered one of the worst debuts in major league history.
I have been following Morris since early 2014 when I unwrapped my first Akeel Morris card in a pack of Bowman baseball cards.

Morris had been unimpressive in 2010 & 2011 and absolutely awful in 2012 going 0-6 with a 7.98 ERA while walking more than 5 batters per 9 innings. Dreadful stats.

But in 2013, something clicked. They gave up on using Morris as a starter and moved him to the bullpen, his walks fell (though 4.6 per 9 is still not great) and his strikeouts rose, to 12 per 9. His traditional stats were awesome too, a 1.00 ERA in 45 innings.

In 2014, he was even better 0.63 ERA, 3.47 BB/9 and more than 14 K/9. It was during this season, after I got the card, that I started to follow him and read more about him. He throws hard, hitting 95, and also has a great changeup.

After which the Mets added him to the 40-man roster so they wouldn't risk losing him in the Rule 5 draft.

But I was shocked when he started the season at single-A again. But once again he was dominant with a 1.69 ERA and striking out 13 men per 9.

That was good enough to get the call-up when the Mets needed someone and even though he was in single-A he was one of the few available healthy choices that wouldn't require them to bump someone from the 40-man to make room.

As soon as I saw the promotion I immediately went on eBay and bought 80 more cards for 12 bucks.

It was only for a couple days, what could go wrong?

Well everything that could go wrong did. A clearly nervous Morris couldn't locate his change-up and walked the first two batters. A potential double play was thwarted then a ridiculous bunt was misplayed, then a grounder snuck through the infield and then BOOM! a three run homer. Five runs, two outs in his major league debut. 67.50 ERA.

I still have hope my investment could possibly pay off. He still has good stuff. He still dominated the minor leagues and now he has a big league experience to build on.

The Chick That Got Panda In Trouble

Pablo Sandoval was benched for one game for clicking "like" on some instagram photos during the game. Kung Fu Panda says he grabbed the phone on the way to the bathroom during a game. And he admitted liking a couple photos. The professional shit-stirrers at Bar Stool Sports noticed this and immediately ratted out Sandoval.

Pabs knows a fine is coming and completely admits that he fucked up by violating a rule banning the use of electronic devices during the game. But he just couldn't resist the photos of diva_legacy.

We can see two big reasons he liked the pictures.

We don't know much about Miss Diva_Legacy yet, except that she likes selfies, eyebrow grooming and push-up bras. We also know she is not the former Mrs. Sandoval.
Nor is she Dubcy Romero who was purportedly Sandoval's girlfriend as recently as last year.

You can blame the guy for liking big-tittie latina hunneez but he needs to learn a thing or two about being discreet.

Where Was ThePoop When the Lights Went Out?

In the dark. The lights briefly went out in my office (though the computers stayed on) when a 20-year old woman lost control of her car, took out a utility pole and the transformers exploded.

The car was engulfed in flames but some brave policemen pulled the driver from the burning car.

Amazingly she escaped with injuries that weren't considered serious.

Look at that car, she is lucky to be alive never mind not permanently disfigured. None of the rescuers were injured.

The "P" Stands for Player

LeBron James deserves to be MVP of the NBA Finals. And it’s an absolute travesty.
If you’re saying the award has to go to the best player on the winning team you are adding factors into the voting that don’t exist.
There is a team award. It’s called the Larry O’Brien Trophy. The Warriors won it. Commissioner Adam Silver gave them that trophy. I saw it. Here’s a picture:

The MVP is different. It is an individual award given to the player (the P in MVP) whose contributions were most (M) valuable (V).
And even if there were a natural bias towards a player on the winning team (as there should be) shouldn’t this be the one exception – where one player is so transcendent and the disparity of the teams is so great that even his best efforts can’t overcome it.
He averaged 35.8 points, 13.3 rebounds and 8.8 assists. Yes his shooting percentage was poor, but again a big part of that is htat he had to take all those shots. Who else was gonna do it? You want him to give the ball to JR Smith in a key spot?
Plus, LeBron is only competing for MVP against other players in this series. He is not competing against your memories of Michael Jordan, or what you read about Bill Russell and how they single-handedly carried inferior teams to victory (they didn’t) because they are “winners.”
He was competing against Andre Iguadola who averaged less than half as many points, rebounds and assists. And he was credited for his defense on LeBron. Who still averaged nearly 36 points!!!!

The basic summary is this: if you don’t think LeBron was the MVP of this series you are stuck in a decades-old mindset where we were unable to separate individual performance and contributions from team results.
It is the same thing we fought over nearly three years ago when voters robbed Mike Trout of the MVP Award.
Individual awards should be given based on individual performance.
Having the championship title taken away from him when Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving got hurt was bad enough -- don’t steal the MVP too.

Song of the Week

"Smokey Joe's Cafe" - The Robins
Sixty years ago, in 1955, this song was played on record players everywhere. It was used in "School Ties" as an archetype of the music of the time. And if it's good enough for David Greene, it's good enough for me.