Team to Gain the First First Down of the Game
The Patriots have this odd habit of choosing to defer when they win the coin toss, they have done this in every game for 4 straight years. If the Giants win, I expect them to take the ball. Therefore I love the Giants to be the first team to make a first down.
Bet $1250 to win $1000
This was like stealing. Easy money
Profit/loss: +1000
Will the Game Be Tied After 0-0
I expect this game to be close and back and forth so I think it will be tied, at 7-7.
Bet $130 to win $100
9-9 doesn’t count. It had to be tied after a conversion.
Profit/loss: +870
Total Receiving Yards by Victor Cruz
I think Manning has a lot of comfort with Cruz and Cruz should be able to get open, and past the weak New England secondary. I like him to record more than 88 1/2 yards.
Bet $110 to win $100
Cruz only got 25 yards. Patriots were determined to let someone else beat them. Nicks and Manningham combined for 182 yards.
Profit/loss: +760
TD Passes by Tom Brady
I'm betting this game on the theory that the Giants will be able to get to Brady and make him uncomfortable. Even if they don't, 3 TDs could be a lot. I like under 2 1/2.
Bet $100 to win $110
Only 2 TDs for Brady
Profit/loss: +870
Will Rob Gronkowski Score a TD?
I'm also going to wager based on Gronk's injury being real and a hindrance to his performance. Even if he were healthy, I'd predict him catching a touchdown is no better than 50/50. So I'll no to this one.
Bet $100 to win $125
Gronkowski really was hurt, you could see it in his play.
Profit/loss: +995
Total Receiving Yards By Aaron Hernandez
This doesn't include running yards he may accumulate out of the backfield. But I still like his chances with Gronk being hurt, to get more than 67 1/2 yards.
Bet $125 to win $100
I can’t fuckin believe this. 67 yards. Ooooh that hurts.
Profit/loss: +870
Margin of Victory
I do think this will be a close lower-scoring game than most people think. But there are still chances the winning could put some late points on the board to make it seem worse than it is. Even though I don't think this will be the case, I like the Giants to win by 13-18 points at 8 to 1 odds.
Bet $100 to win $800
Profit/loss: +770
Tom Brady Passing Yards
This is tricky because if the Patriots are losing they will be throwing all over the field. But if you pick anything over 250 yards your odds are too slim to make it worthwhile. Again, if I were predicting I'd say 300 or more, but I like the price of 200-249 at 7 to 2 odds.
Bet $100 to win $350
Brady finished with 276, but I think the odds on that were 5 to 4, not worth the risk.
Profit/loss: +670
Final Score
I like the Giants to score 24 points at 8 to 1
Bet $100 to win $800
Patriots to score 21
Bet $100 to win $1200
Profit/loss: +470
Now onto some looser props from Bodog
Super Bowl MVP
I think the Giants have a better than 50% chance of winning this game. And I view it as almost impossible that Eli doesn't win the MVP if that's the case. So I'll take him at 9 to 4 odds.
Bet $120 to win $270
Glad I got this one right.
Profit/loss: +740
Just for fun I also like Jason Pierre-Paul at 25 to 1
Bet $10 to win $250
Profit/loss: +730
National Anthem
A staple of Super Bowl betting. Seems like the oddsmakers view Kelly Clarkson as a no-nonsense kind of girl. I agree, but a minute and 34 seconds is too short. Take the over.
Bet $110 to win $100
Apparently this one was so close you had people rewinding their DVRs. It was literally a half-second above 1:34.
Profit/loss: +830
How Many Viewers
The line on this 117 million. That would smash the record which I believe is 111. I think people are hyped for this game and I think a close finish will put this game over the top.
Bet $140 to win $100
The game did set a record, but at just over 111 million. I still can’t understand what 200 million people were doing Sunday night if they weren’t watching the game.
Profit/loss: +690
What Will Happen with the Dow Jones on Monday
We've been in a pretty steady rally mode lately. I think it continues on Monday. I pick the Dow goes up.
Bet $140 to win $100
Down 17 points
Profit/loss: +550
What Color Gatorade?
Another bet I like to do each year, just for fun. This year I'm picking orange at 5 to 2.
Bet $20 to win $50.
Mrs. Poop says it was purple.
Profit/loss: +530
Chad Ochocinco Receptions
I could totally seem them doing something crazy with him and putting him out there. But seeing as how he hardly ever plays, I'm going to say zero catches (under 1/2)
Bet $100 to win $135
He actually caught one. I was shocked.
Profit/loss: +430 (not bad, though I tanked after winning that first fictional bet for $1000)
Saturday, February 04, 2012
Friday, February 03, 2012
Bad Luck Charm
On November 8th the New England Patriots cut Albert Haynesworth.
The Tampa Bay ExpensiveCornPrices picked him up, and lost all 8 games with him. The defense allowed more than 30 points in 7 of those games.
Over that same span the Patriots won all 10 games, and never allowed 30 points.
Assuming they don't sign him today or tomorrow, this obviously means New England will win the Super Bowl.
The Tampa Bay ExpensiveCornPrices picked him up, and lost all 8 games with him. The defense allowed more than 30 points in 7 of those games.
Over that same span the Patriots won all 10 games, and never allowed 30 points.
Assuming they don't sign him today or tomorrow, this obviously means New England will win the Super Bowl.
Thursday, February 02, 2012
This Can't Wait Either
I thought Matthew Broderick's send-up of "Ferris Bueller" for a Honda ad was quite clever. But I may have set a dangerous precedent. Because now I have to share this Jerry Seinfeld ad for Acura which has several great "Seinfeld" references sprinkled in. This commercial is at least 3 times as good as the Broderick one, but it will be the last I post before the Super Bowl.
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Toning It Down This Year
Ines Sainz, who set tongues wagging at Super Bowl Media Day 5 years ago, and launched the second most popular post in Poop history, toned down her style this year.
Appearing before the Giants and Patriots in a demure white blouse.
Appearing before the Giants and Patriots in a demure white blouse.
The World Got a Lot Less Cool Today
Don Cornelius, host and creator of "Soul Train" was found dead today in his Los Angeles home of an apparent self-inflicted gun-shot wound to the head.
Cornelius was 75. You think if you could make it to 75 you might as well just play out the string. We don't know yet if he got some recent health news that prompted this.
Cornelius was just about to finish 3 years of probation he was serving for pleading no contest to assaulting his ex-wife, Russian model Victoria Avila-Cornelius.
Many people who Googled Cornelius today found this picture of Don and Victoria. It looks like they are attending some kind of TV Land event. But it looks like she is dressed for the SAG Awards.
Cornelius was 75. You think if you could make it to 75 you might as well just play out the string. We don't know yet if he got some recent health news that prompted this.
Cornelius was just about to finish 3 years of probation he was serving for pleading no contest to assaulting his ex-wife, Russian model Victoria Avila-Cornelius.
Many people who Googled Cornelius today found this picture of Don and Victoria. It looks like they are attending some kind of TV Land event. But it looks like she is dressed for the SAG Awards.
Song of the Week
"I Do" - Young Jeezy featuring Jay-Z and Andre 3000
I love when gangsta rap gets romantic. But if you had any questions about who is a superior MC between Jay and 3K, you have no more doubts now.
"Let's put a baby butterfly up in your lil cocoon
And maybe 2030, our baby, she'll be nerdy make the whole club swoon.
She'll love books
and cook
and look
Just like you"
Song suggested by Billy
I love when gangsta rap gets romantic. But if you had any questions about who is a superior MC between Jay and 3K, you have no more doubts now.
"Let's put a baby butterfly up in your lil cocoon
And maybe 2030, our baby, she'll be nerdy make the whole club swoon.
She'll love books
and cook
and look
Just like you"
Song suggested by Billy
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
This Can't Wait
Normally I wait until after the Super Bowl to post about the commercials but since millions of people have already watched the Matthew Broderick Honda CR-V send-up of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" I thought I should share it now or never.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Now I'm in the Mood for Chipotle
The town of East Haven, Connecticut is grappling with tension between its Latino community and the police force, which has no Latino officers. But don't worry Mayor Joseph Maturo has a plan to reach out to the Latino community:
"I might have tacos when I go home, I'm not quite sure yet."
While this was obviously a distasteful and inflammatory thing to say I once again want to point out how ridiculous it is to call someone bigoted for merely suggesting a certain ethnic group likes to eat a certain type of food. That's why they're called ethnic foods.
It is not racist to say Mexican (not all Hispanics) people like to eat tacos.
It is not racist to say black people like collard greens and fried chicken.
It is not racist to Jewish people like matzo ball soup.
But this mayor is still a moron.
"I might have tacos when I go home, I'm not quite sure yet."
While this was obviously a distasteful and inflammatory thing to say I once again want to point out how ridiculous it is to call someone bigoted for merely suggesting a certain ethnic group likes to eat a certain type of food. That's why they're called ethnic foods.
It is not racist to say Mexican (not all Hispanics) people like to eat tacos.
It is not racist to say black people like collard greens and fried chicken.
It is not racist to Jewish people like matzo ball soup.
But this mayor is still a moron.
Friday, January 27, 2012
All is Well, There's No Need to Panic
It was 60 degrees today in New York City. On January 27th. I guess we should all freak out about global warming now. Not so say 16 scientists who co-signed an op-ed in today's Wall Street Journal.
"In spite of a multidecade international campaign to enforce the message that increasing amounts of the "pollutant" carbon dioxide will destroy civilization, large numbers of scientists, many very prominent, [aren't so sure]. And the number of scientific "heretics" is growing with each passing year. The reason is a collection of stubborn scientific facts.
Perhaps the most inconvenient fact is the lack of global warming for well over 10 years now."
The lack of warming for more than a decade—indeed, the smaller-than-predicted warming over the 22 years since the U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) began issuing projections—suggests that computer models have greatly exaggerated how much warming additional CO2 can cause. Faced with this embarrassment, those promoting alarm have shifted their drumbeat from warming to weather extremes, to enable anything unusual that happens in our chaotic climate to be ascribed to CO2. The fact is that CO2 is not a pollutant."
"Why is there so much passion about global warming, and why has the issue become so vexing that the American Physical Society, from which Dr. Giaever resigned a few months ago, refused the seemingly reasonable request by many of its members to remove the word "incontrovertible" from its description of a scientific issue? There are several reasons, but a good place to start is the old question "cui bono?" Or the modern update, "Follow the money."
Alarmism over climate is of great benefit to many, providing government funding for academic research and a reason for government bureaucracies to grow. Alarmism also offers an excuse for governments to raise taxes, taxpayer-funded subsidies for businesses that understand how to work the political system, and a lure for big donations to charitable foundations promising to save the planet."
"Speaking for many scientists and engineers who have looked carefully and independently at the science of climate, we have a message to any candidate for public office: There is no compelling scientific argument for drastic action to "decarbonize" the world's economy. Even if one accepts the inflated climate forecasts of the IPCC, aggressive greenhouse-gas control policies are not justified economically.
Every candidate should support rational measures to protect and improve our environment, but it makes no sense at all to back expensive programs that divert resources from real needs and are based on alarming but untenable claims of "incontrovertible" evidence."
This pretty much sums up the stance that I and other rational people (without any scientific knowledge) have been saying for years. Yes global warming is real. But the extent of mankind's role in it was vastly overstated. And the alarming speed of global warming was really just a temporary acceleration when compared to one of the coldest periods in history, the 1970s.
The global warming alarmists are moral narcissists who have some weird kind of Munchausen's Syndrome. They want the world to be sick, so they can be the one to make it get better.
Maybe at the beginning of the movement scientists did have reason to believe their most dire predictions, and they sold Al Gore a bill of goods. But the evidence has changed. Only at this point it's too late. In for a penny, in for a pound. So we continue to waste money on green energy companies, grants to fund falsified research and promote a job-killing anti-business agenda to try to solve a problem that may not exist 50 or 100 years, if it exists at all.
"In spite of a multidecade international campaign to enforce the message that increasing amounts of the "pollutant" carbon dioxide will destroy civilization, large numbers of scientists, many very prominent, [aren't so sure]. And the number of scientific "heretics" is growing with each passing year. The reason is a collection of stubborn scientific facts.
Perhaps the most inconvenient fact is the lack of global warming for well over 10 years now."
The lack of warming for more than a decade—indeed, the smaller-than-predicted warming over the 22 years since the U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) began issuing projections—suggests that computer models have greatly exaggerated how much warming additional CO2 can cause. Faced with this embarrassment, those promoting alarm have shifted their drumbeat from warming to weather extremes, to enable anything unusual that happens in our chaotic climate to be ascribed to CO2. The fact is that CO2 is not a pollutant."
"Why is there so much passion about global warming, and why has the issue become so vexing that the American Physical Society, from which Dr. Giaever resigned a few months ago, refused the seemingly reasonable request by many of its members to remove the word "incontrovertible" from its description of a scientific issue? There are several reasons, but a good place to start is the old question "cui bono?" Or the modern update, "Follow the money."
Alarmism over climate is of great benefit to many, providing government funding for academic research and a reason for government bureaucracies to grow. Alarmism also offers an excuse for governments to raise taxes, taxpayer-funded subsidies for businesses that understand how to work the political system, and a lure for big donations to charitable foundations promising to save the planet."
"Speaking for many scientists and engineers who have looked carefully and independently at the science of climate, we have a message to any candidate for public office: There is no compelling scientific argument for drastic action to "decarbonize" the world's economy. Even if one accepts the inflated climate forecasts of the IPCC, aggressive greenhouse-gas control policies are not justified economically.
Every candidate should support rational measures to protect and improve our environment, but it makes no sense at all to back expensive programs that divert resources from real needs and are based on alarming but untenable claims of "incontrovertible" evidence."
This pretty much sums up the stance that I and other rational people (without any scientific knowledge) have been saying for years. Yes global warming is real. But the extent of mankind's role in it was vastly overstated. And the alarming speed of global warming was really just a temporary acceleration when compared to one of the coldest periods in history, the 1970s.
The global warming alarmists are moral narcissists who have some weird kind of Munchausen's Syndrome. They want the world to be sick, so they can be the one to make it get better.
Maybe at the beginning of the movement scientists did have reason to believe their most dire predictions, and they sold Al Gore a bill of goods. But the evidence has changed. Only at this point it's too late. In for a penny, in for a pound. So we continue to waste money on green energy companies, grants to fund falsified research and promote a job-killing anti-business agenda to try to solve a problem that may not exist 50 or 100 years, if it exists at all.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
What Do You Give Me For? Newt Gingrich & Dwight Schrute
What do you give me for Dwight Schrute and a young Newt Gingrich?
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
The Fashion Police
In November 2008 Michelle Obama appeared on The Tonight Show and Jay Leno (in an obvious set-up) asked her how much her outfit cost. She said it was J. Crew and the liberal media went nuts, praising the First Lady for being an everywoman, for shopping where you shop and still being the “Commander in Chic.”
Fast forward to 2012, the State of the Union Address. Here’s what people.com wrote about the First Lady’s dress: “As the President declared his intent to help buoy the 99%, his wife dazzled in a cobalt sheath from Barbara Tfank’s resort collection. While reps for the brand won’t reveal the item’s retail price, a similar style from the collection is currently available at Barney’s New York for $2,400.”
I don’t have a problem with Michelle Obama wearing fancy clothes. I really don’t. My problem is the liberal media who tried to make her out to be a normal woman who had no use for the expensive things her no celebrity would provide her.
Vogue called her “the First Lady the World’s Been Waiting For.” No she isn’t. She is a greedy pig just like every other politician, politician’s wife and celebrity. They will take whatever they can get their hands on. Michelle Obama is not like you and me. And she probably hasn’t worn J Crew once since that stunt on the Tonight Show.
Fast forward to 2012, the State of the Union Address. Here’s what people.com wrote about the First Lady’s dress: “As the President declared his intent to help buoy the 99%, his wife dazzled in a cobalt sheath from Barbara Tfank’s resort collection. While reps for the brand won’t reveal the item’s retail price, a similar style from the collection is currently available at Barney’s New York for $2,400.”
I don’t have a problem with Michelle Obama wearing fancy clothes. I really don’t. My problem is the liberal media who tried to make her out to be a normal woman who had no use for the expensive things her no celebrity would provide her.
Vogue called her “the First Lady the World’s Been Waiting For.” No she isn’t. She is a greedy pig just like every other politician, politician’s wife and celebrity. They will take whatever they can get their hands on. Michelle Obama is not like you and me. And she probably hasn’t worn J Crew once since that stunt on the Tonight Show.
Song of the Week
"Over Like a Fat Rat" - Fonda Rae
In the 1970s and into the 1980s there was a whole genre of funk music with great guitar riffs, drum beats and bass lines, but the stupidest lyrics you've ever heard.
This one is particularly good example but the bass line is so funky it was sampled on one of the seminal songs of hip-hop, "Eric B is President."
In the 1970s and into the 1980s there was a whole genre of funk music with great guitar riffs, drum beats and bass lines, but the stupidest lyrics you've ever heard.
This one is particularly good example but the bass line is so funky it was sampled on one of the seminal songs of hip-hop, "Eric B is President."
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Julian and the Three Very Annoying Bears
This Hanukah we broke Mama Poop's heart. We told her no more singing bears. We hate stuffed animals of any kind because they are useless, never get played with and take up a lot of space. That goes double for stuffed animals that play a song when a tail, foot or paw is squeezed. Unfortunately those actually do get played with. And all at the same time. And since there is a dearth of Hanukkah songs they all play "Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel."
Watch the video and I am sure you will understand why we put an end to Mama Poop's short-lived tradition of buying a new singing bear every year.
What a fantastic cameo from Chase. He jumps in, screams nonsense and slaps Julian in the face.
Watch the video and I am sure you will understand why we put an end to Mama Poop's short-lived tradition of buying a new singing bear every year.
What a fantastic cameo from Chase. He jumps in, screams nonsense and slaps Julian in the face.
What I Should Have Said Theater
This is what Penn State alumni should be saying about the death of Joe Paterno:
"For many years Joe Paterno was a shining light in the Penn State community. His old-school work ethic and folksy charm transformed the university to a national power in athletics and education.
Late last year we learned that Paterno was hiding a terrible secret. The man who was once his top assistant, Jerry Sandusky, was molesting young boys for years under Paterno's nose.
We know Sandusky molested boys in the locker room. We know there was a 1998 police investigation into the matter, but no charges were ever filed. We know Paterno was told about a sexual encounter between Sandusky and a young boy in 2002. We know Paterno reported the incident to his supervisors but never followed up on the matter.
We don't know, and we will never know, exactly what Paterno knew, thought or suspected about Jerry Sandusky.
But even our most conservative assumptions lead us to believe that Paterno fell far short of the moral standards he helped set is in his 50 years at Penn State.
By all accounts he was a kind, charitable, good and decent man. He lived his whole life with dignity. But because of what he failed to do in this case, he dies in shame."
"For many years Joe Paterno was a shining light in the Penn State community. His old-school work ethic and folksy charm transformed the university to a national power in athletics and education.
Late last year we learned that Paterno was hiding a terrible secret. The man who was once his top assistant, Jerry Sandusky, was molesting young boys for years under Paterno's nose.
We know Sandusky molested boys in the locker room. We know there was a 1998 police investigation into the matter, but no charges were ever filed. We know Paterno was told about a sexual encounter between Sandusky and a young boy in 2002. We know Paterno reported the incident to his supervisors but never followed up on the matter.
We don't know, and we will never know, exactly what Paterno knew, thought or suspected about Jerry Sandusky.
But even our most conservative assumptions lead us to believe that Paterno fell far short of the moral standards he helped set is in his 50 years at Penn State.
By all accounts he was a kind, charitable, good and decent man. He lived his whole life with dignity. But because of what he failed to do in this case, he dies in shame."
Monday, January 23, 2012
Conference Championships are Poop
It's Better To Be Lucky Than Good
The Helmet Catch. The Tuck Rule. The Hail Mary last week. Now the Miss and the Fumble. The Giants and Patriots have gotten this far because they have a lot of good players and they are playing well. But over the years these two teams have also gotten incredibly lucky. At least the Patriots have had exceptional records and home games in the years they’ve made the playoffs. This is the second straight Super Bowl run by the Giants during a season in which they lost at least 6 games and then got hot (lucky!) during the playoffs.
Defense Wins Championships, Turnovers Lose Games
I still stand by the premise that good defense is required to win during the playoffs. Though both winning teams are better on offense than their vanquished foes, both sides played strong defense, especially when it mattered. Vince Wilfork was an absolute beast for the Patriots in the middle, with a sack and 3 tackles for loss. And the Giants stoned the 49ers on 3 crucial late game possessions each of which could have resulted in a game-winning field goal.
Patriots Killer, Literally
If there is one name that strikes fear in the hearts of the New England Patriots it is Bernard Pollard. Pollard, then on the Kanas City Chiefs, is the guy whose hit tore Tom Brady’s ACL on the first play of the 2008 season. A year later while playing for the Texans, Pollard dragged down Wes Welker, injuring his knee. Now on the Baltimore Ravens, Pollard tackled Rob Gronkowski and rolled over his ankle. Gronk was able to return, though he didn’t catch any passes after the injury, and he is expected to play in the Super Bowl.
But maybe the biggest atrocity committed by Pollard is his famous locker room dance from Hard Knocks.
I Want Winners
In 2008 Vernon Davis caught a short pass and then slapped the defender, Rhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifeissberg’s roommate Brian Russell in the facemask. For that he was given a 15-yard penalty. When Coach Mike Singletary yelled at him on the sidelines, Davis’s reaction was “nonchalant.” That led Singletary to banish him to the locker room and unleash this postgame tirade.
Four years later we’ve heard tons of stories about how Singletary’s tough love actually helped Davis, grow and mature into a great teammate, to match his substantial physical abilities. Evidently that didn’t happen. First, Davis got a 15-yard penalty for excessive celebration for climbing up on the TV camera stand after a touchdown. And later he got 15 more yards for hitting someone from behind and shoving someone during a scuffle.
I am always saying that I would rather have talented individuals with bad attitudes as opposed to tightasses who lack skill. But at a certain point, a player like Davis has to learn to control himself or he really does become a detriment to his team.
A Year Too Late
Eli Manning threw for 4,933 yards this season. If he had done that last year, it would have been 3rd all-time. Instead he was 4th. This season! Regardless of how this turns out Eli has established himself as an elite quarterback this season. And it goes beyond numbers. He is a guy you want to have the ball in the 4th quarter with the game on the line, maybe more so than his brother. He will never pass Peyton in terms of statistical excellence. But he can play Joe Montana to Manning’s Marino if he gets another Super Bowl ring.
Picture of the Week
I like the composition of this photo. A wide shot, ball floating in air, right between two defenders. The lighting is perfect too.
If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
New England Patriots 34 New York Giants 27
How long can the Giants keep getting this lucky? Yes, I know they are playing well, but they've now won 5 elimination games in a row. Eventually something has to go against them. Plus the Patriots are a very strong team whose defense is peaking at the right time. I understand the Giants and Eli Manning are worlds ahead of Flacco and the Ravens and especially Tebow and the Broncos. But the luck stops here. Patriots get revenge and win Super Bowl XLVI.
The Helmet Catch. The Tuck Rule. The Hail Mary last week. Now the Miss and the Fumble. The Giants and Patriots have gotten this far because they have a lot of good players and they are playing well. But over the years these two teams have also gotten incredibly lucky. At least the Patriots have had exceptional records and home games in the years they’ve made the playoffs. This is the second straight Super Bowl run by the Giants during a season in which they lost at least 6 games and then got hot (lucky!) during the playoffs.
Defense Wins Championships, Turnovers Lose Games
I still stand by the premise that good defense is required to win during the playoffs. Though both winning teams are better on offense than their vanquished foes, both sides played strong defense, especially when it mattered. Vince Wilfork was an absolute beast for the Patriots in the middle, with a sack and 3 tackles for loss. And the Giants stoned the 49ers on 3 crucial late game possessions each of which could have resulted in a game-winning field goal.
Patriots Killer, Literally
If there is one name that strikes fear in the hearts of the New England Patriots it is Bernard Pollard. Pollard, then on the Kanas City Chiefs, is the guy whose hit tore Tom Brady’s ACL on the first play of the 2008 season. A year later while playing for the Texans, Pollard dragged down Wes Welker, injuring his knee. Now on the Baltimore Ravens, Pollard tackled Rob Gronkowski and rolled over his ankle. Gronk was able to return, though he didn’t catch any passes after the injury, and he is expected to play in the Super Bowl.
But maybe the biggest atrocity committed by Pollard is his famous locker room dance from Hard Knocks.
I Want Winners
In 2008 Vernon Davis caught a short pass and then slapped the defender, Rhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifeissberg’s roommate Brian Russell in the facemask. For that he was given a 15-yard penalty. When Coach Mike Singletary yelled at him on the sidelines, Davis’s reaction was “nonchalant.” That led Singletary to banish him to the locker room and unleash this postgame tirade.
Four years later we’ve heard tons of stories about how Singletary’s tough love actually helped Davis, grow and mature into a great teammate, to match his substantial physical abilities. Evidently that didn’t happen. First, Davis got a 15-yard penalty for excessive celebration for climbing up on the TV camera stand after a touchdown. And later he got 15 more yards for hitting someone from behind and shoving someone during a scuffle.
I am always saying that I would rather have talented individuals with bad attitudes as opposed to tightasses who lack skill. But at a certain point, a player like Davis has to learn to control himself or he really does become a detriment to his team.
A Year Too Late
Eli Manning threw for 4,933 yards this season. If he had done that last year, it would have been 3rd all-time. Instead he was 4th. This season! Regardless of how this turns out Eli has established himself as an elite quarterback this season. And it goes beyond numbers. He is a guy you want to have the ball in the 4th quarter with the game on the line, maybe more so than his brother. He will never pass Peyton in terms of statistical excellence. But he can play Joe Montana to Manning’s Marino if he gets another Super Bowl ring.
Picture of the Week
I like the composition of this photo. A wide shot, ball floating in air, right between two defenders. The lighting is perfect too.
If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
New England Patriots 34 New York Giants 27
How long can the Giants keep getting this lucky? Yes, I know they are playing well, but they've now won 5 elimination games in a row. Eventually something has to go against them. Plus the Patriots are a very strong team whose defense is peaking at the right time. I understand the Giants and Eli Manning are worlds ahead of Flacco and the Ravens and especially Tebow and the Broncos. But the luck stops here. Patriots get revenge and win Super Bowl XLVI.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Weekly Picks
This season has been so bad I don't even want to continue making these picks. I just can't seem to get a game right.
This week I am picking both games as one. I am going to go with defense over offense. I started the playoffs by thinking the Ravens could upset the Patriots. And now I am sticking with that. And even though the Giants are playing great and calling to mind the 2008 playoffs, I am sticking with the better defensive teams to pull through on Championship Sunday. Even in the Year of the Quarterback, defense wins championships.
baltimore +7 NEW ENGLAND
BEST BET
SAN FRANCISCO -1 1/2 new york giants
Last Week: 1-3 (0 points)
Season: 40-53 (36 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (7-12)
Home Favorites: 0-1 (17-20)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-3)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (11-16)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (12-14)
This week I am picking both games as one. I am going to go with defense over offense. I started the playoffs by thinking the Ravens could upset the Patriots. And now I am sticking with that. And even though the Giants are playing great and calling to mind the 2008 playoffs, I am sticking with the better defensive teams to pull through on Championship Sunday. Even in the Year of the Quarterback, defense wins championships.
baltimore +7 NEW ENGLAND
BEST BET
SAN FRANCISCO -1 1/2 new york giants
Last Week: 1-3 (0 points)
Season: 40-53 (36 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (7-12)
Home Favorites: 0-1 (17-20)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-3)
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Saturday, January 21, 2012
Troy-Zan King of the Jungle
I've often wondered if I could be on a reality show. I like contests, games and testing myself. I can't do American Idol because I can't sing. I wouldn't survive Big Brother sequestered from my family for 3 months. But other than the hunger, I think I could do well on Survivor. But what kind of video would I make as an audition tape? What do the people who actually get selected submit?
Here's Troy Robertson's video, which got him selected, with a little help from his friends.
A Sports Illustrated Swimsuit photographer using swimsuit models in his video. Not sure I can compete with that. Oh yeah, and there's a good chance he's gay too.
Here's Troy Robertson's video, which got him selected, with a little help from his friends.
A Sports Illustrated Swimsuit photographer using swimsuit models in his video. Not sure I can compete with that. Oh yeah, and there's a good chance he's gay too.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Who's Your Daddy, Khloe?
Many years ago, The Concierge and I were in a supermarket looking through the tabloids. We delighted in laughter at the headline "Armless Man and Legless Buddy Go Tandem on Bike Trip." And it was accompanied by a picture.
It was my favorite supermarket tabloid headline, until now.
OJ Simpson is Khloe Kardashian's real father! That is awesome.
It was my favorite supermarket tabloid headline, until now.
OJ Simpson is Khloe Kardashian's real father! That is awesome.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Thank You Web MD
There are a bunch of crazy people in the world who whenever they feel a tickle in their throats or a pain in their belly, immediately run to the internet, hit up WebMD and diagnose themselves with a serious illness. (It's never lupus)
I am not one of those people. Mrs. Poop is. When I came home from work Tuesday experiencing severe stomach pains, I thought maybe the macaroni and cheese I had eaten for lunch was responsible (Mrs. Poop made it a week earlier). But I wasn't puking up my guts or shitting out my brains, so food-related illness didn't fit.
Mrs. Poop came home and did some rudimentary tests, including jabbing her fingers into my side and watching delightedly as I recoiled in pain.
She encouraged me to go to the ER, insisting if it ruptured I COULD DIE!!!!!
Note: I write that in all caps because she said it in all caps.
I took another hour to reconsider whether it would be just bad gas, or something not serious that would eventually subside. After about 5 hours of intense pain I read the WebMD entry on appendicitis.
You have pain in your belly. Check
The pain may begin around your belly button. Check
The pain in your belly gets stronger and moves below your belly button on your right side. Check
The pain does not go away and gets worse when you move, walk, or cough. Check
The actual ER visit, which I dreaded, was not that bad. I was seen and evaluated very quickly and the nurse practitioner immediately decided I needed a CAT scan, though she wasn't convinced I needed an appendectomy. I quickly drank the liquid contrast (the thing everyone complains about) with no problem and was carted outside to a temporary trailer where they do the CAT scans while the hospital is under construction.
It was quite weird going into this huge tunnel up to your chin, then having to hold your breath. Then they added another contrast through an IV which makes you taste metal and feel like you pissed yourself.
When the results came in it was determined that I did have an infection, and the beginnings of appendicitis. The NP said since I'm in America I would just have the surgery right away. I suppose if I were in a country with socialized medicine they would have sent me home with a couple of aspirin.
They rousted the doctor who did Mrs. Poop's gall bladder last year out of a deep slumber and he agreed to come in and take out my appendix.
Meanwhile, this whole time I refused pain medication. Mrs. Poop was furious. She is a drug-seeker evidently. I was not in terrible pain, I was uncomfortable but I would rather deal with that than get some crazy drug that makes me forget who I am and what I'm doing in the hospital.
The doctor arrived quickly. I was prepped for surgery and the anesthesiologist knocked me out good, because I remember telling the guy who looked like Rob Reiner to call me Paul. Then I remember waking up in recovery.
The procedure went well, the appendix was removed, and I was 4 to 6 ounces closer to my weight-loss goal.
But I was starving. Remember, I had been in intense pain since 2pm, and Mrs. Poop warned me that I shouldn't eat, in case I did need emergency surgery, if I had been food free for 6 hours they could operate immediately. But now it was 5:30 am, 15 1/2 hours since my last meal, 14 1/2 hours longer than I normally go between meals, and I was asking everyone I saw to bring me something to eat. The nurses kept apologizing that all they could offer me was jello. I was like, bring it on, I love jello. I had two cups of jello, orange and red and I eventually did get a real breakfast as well, but it included a banana which made me lose my appetite.
Mrs. Poop was due to come get me at around 10am, so the whole thing from walk-in, to walk-out was only 13 hours. But it was 6am and I still had time to kill. They had pumped me so full of fluids so that even though I hadn't had a drink and my mouth was parched, I was still waking up every two hours to pee. With the help of a nurse.
In order to get to the bathroom I had to sidle (I was wearing a hospital gown, open in the back, with no drawers on) past my very angry roommate. Apparently he had some kind of open wound. They covered it up with a dry dressing, then put a wet towel over to try to draw out the infection. Well, he insisted the wet towel was introducing bacteria to the area and that he was sure to get gangrene. He must have read this on WebMD with the rest of the crazies because the nurses (and he asked at least 3 of them) all told him it was doctor's orders which they could not disobey. Later his wackjob brother came in and insisted the valets had rifled through his car the day before. After visiting for a few minutes he left to file a complaint with hospital administration.
Thankfully Mrs. Poop came shortly thereafter and brought me home. About 24 hours after the surgery I feel great. A little discomfort in the area where they poked holes the insert the instruments and remove the appendix but nothing else. I ate a pretty normal diet today and felt fine.
So while having surgery is not great and being laid up for a few days could be a problem for a lesser man, I'm glad I went to the hospital when I did. Thanks WebMD.
I am not one of those people. Mrs. Poop is. When I came home from work Tuesday experiencing severe stomach pains, I thought maybe the macaroni and cheese I had eaten for lunch was responsible (Mrs. Poop made it a week earlier). But I wasn't puking up my guts or shitting out my brains, so food-related illness didn't fit.
Mrs. Poop came home and did some rudimentary tests, including jabbing her fingers into my side and watching delightedly as I recoiled in pain.
She encouraged me to go to the ER, insisting if it ruptured I COULD DIE!!!!!
Note: I write that in all caps because she said it in all caps.
I took another hour to reconsider whether it would be just bad gas, or something not serious that would eventually subside. After about 5 hours of intense pain I read the WebMD entry on appendicitis.
You have pain in your belly. Check
The pain may begin around your belly button. Check
The pain in your belly gets stronger and moves below your belly button on your right side. Check
The pain does not go away and gets worse when you move, walk, or cough. Check
The actual ER visit, which I dreaded, was not that bad. I was seen and evaluated very quickly and the nurse practitioner immediately decided I needed a CAT scan, though she wasn't convinced I needed an appendectomy. I quickly drank the liquid contrast (the thing everyone complains about) with no problem and was carted outside to a temporary trailer where they do the CAT scans while the hospital is under construction.
It was quite weird going into this huge tunnel up to your chin, then having to hold your breath. Then they added another contrast through an IV which makes you taste metal and feel like you pissed yourself.
When the results came in it was determined that I did have an infection, and the beginnings of appendicitis. The NP said since I'm in America I would just have the surgery right away. I suppose if I were in a country with socialized medicine they would have sent me home with a couple of aspirin.
They rousted the doctor who did Mrs. Poop's gall bladder last year out of a deep slumber and he agreed to come in and take out my appendix.
Meanwhile, this whole time I refused pain medication. Mrs. Poop was furious. She is a drug-seeker evidently. I was not in terrible pain, I was uncomfortable but I would rather deal with that than get some crazy drug that makes me forget who I am and what I'm doing in the hospital.
The doctor arrived quickly. I was prepped for surgery and the anesthesiologist knocked me out good, because I remember telling the guy who looked like Rob Reiner to call me Paul. Then I remember waking up in recovery.
The procedure went well, the appendix was removed, and I was 4 to 6 ounces closer to my weight-loss goal.
But I was starving. Remember, I had been in intense pain since 2pm, and Mrs. Poop warned me that I shouldn't eat, in case I did need emergency surgery, if I had been food free for 6 hours they could operate immediately. But now it was 5:30 am, 15 1/2 hours since my last meal, 14 1/2 hours longer than I normally go between meals, and I was asking everyone I saw to bring me something to eat. The nurses kept apologizing that all they could offer me was jello. I was like, bring it on, I love jello. I had two cups of jello, orange and red and I eventually did get a real breakfast as well, but it included a banana which made me lose my appetite.
Mrs. Poop was due to come get me at around 10am, so the whole thing from walk-in, to walk-out was only 13 hours. But it was 6am and I still had time to kill. They had pumped me so full of fluids so that even though I hadn't had a drink and my mouth was parched, I was still waking up every two hours to pee. With the help of a nurse.
In order to get to the bathroom I had to sidle (I was wearing a hospital gown, open in the back, with no drawers on) past my very angry roommate. Apparently he had some kind of open wound. They covered it up with a dry dressing, then put a wet towel over to try to draw out the infection. Well, he insisted the wet towel was introducing bacteria to the area and that he was sure to get gangrene. He must have read this on WebMD with the rest of the crazies because the nurses (and he asked at least 3 of them) all told him it was doctor's orders which they could not disobey. Later his wackjob brother came in and insisted the valets had rifled through his car the day before. After visiting for a few minutes he left to file a complaint with hospital administration.
Thankfully Mrs. Poop came shortly thereafter and brought me home. About 24 hours after the surgery I feel great. A little discomfort in the area where they poked holes the insert the instruments and remove the appendix but nothing else. I ate a pretty normal diet today and felt fine.
So while having surgery is not great and being laid up for a few days could be a problem for a lesser man, I'm glad I went to the hospital when I did. Thanks WebMD.
Song of the Week
"Red Solo Cup" - Toby Keith
It sounds like it was written by an 8th grader. At least the chorus does. Some of the other lyrics are kind of clever, though the music again is remedial. But it is kind of fun.
It actually sounds like it belongs on one of those Adam Sandler CDs from the 90s.
It sounds like it was written by an 8th grader. At least the chorus does. Some of the other lyrics are kind of clever, though the music again is remedial. But it is kind of fun.
It actually sounds like it belongs on one of those Adam Sandler CDs from the 90s.
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