The Best of Shots the Worst of Shots

Sometimes funny things happen at small-time basketball games. For instance, this free throw:



According to PTI, the girl who shot it said she sneezed as she was shooting. If we believe her cover story, we can make a lot of good jokes, like Kornheiser did. Snot Going In, Snot Even Close, etc. But I think she was just try to save herself some embarrassment. Truth is, when I sneeze I know it's coming for about five minutes beforehand. I throw my head back, I start to breathe funny, I try to pinch my nose to make it stop, then I sneeze. No way this sneeze sneak-attacked her into this horrible free throw. Snot a good excuse.

But then there is this: Ashlee Arnau is a cheerleader at William Carey University who likes to try trick shots during halftime:



Note: with this shot, and all trick shots, you only seen the one that goes in, not the 100s of misses that happen first. Arnau had been trying this shot at halftime all year, and this was her 5th attempt on this night. That doesn't mean it's not incredibly cool and really awesome that she made it. It just means it's nearly a total fluke and mostly the result of luck. But people who try the hardest often get the luckiest.

Feels Like Old Times

Seeing as how this is Syracuse's final year in the Big East it seemed like a good idea to get to as many games as possible in the old cities before those games were no longer played. I couldn’t go to UConn because it was a Wednesday night, there is no MSG game vs. St John’s but that rivalry is continuing, Rutgers did not host SU this year (maybe I should have planned this better) but we did get one more game against Seton Hall at the Prudential Center.
Billy and Michael were in, Pizza Parlor Derek drove up for the occasion and the entire Beers mispochen made it, though fashionably late.
First order of business was to eat at Dinosaur BBQ, a Syracuse staple, of which the Newark location is basically right in front of the arena.



A really good idea. Such a good idea that everyone else thought of it too. I arrived 3 hours before tip time and was told there was a 4-hour wait. Not sure how reliable that is because so many people were just camping out at their tables and not leaving until the game starts. So we gave up on that and tried to other restaurants which were just as crowded. Then we stumbled into Loft 47, which had an entire section that was closed off. We literally grabbed a table and some chairs and moved it into the seating area. This seemed like a great idea at the time until we realized no server was assigned to a table that previously had not existed. The service was terrible, I was given crab legs instead of a crab lump and it took almost an hour to bring our food which I had to scarf down. But it’s better than standing around Dinosaur for 4 hours.
We finally arrived at the game in plenty of time to take our seats. Seton Hall and the Prudential Center releasing tickets piecemeal, at first offering only the lower bowl. Once that sold out they offered the first two rows of the upper level. And since Ticketmaster now allows you to choose your actual seat, by clicking on a dot, I chose seats that were perfectly aligned with center court. The view was amazing. The seats weren’t great as in being close to the floor, but it was sort of like sitting right behind home plate in a upper level at a baseball game. You’re not close, but the vantage point is amazing.



We got a really good look at the 2-3 zone which got torched early. But then the Orange got hot, especially Brandon Triche and ended the half on a 22-9 run. The rest of the game was pretty unremarkable with SU maintaining a solid lead, but not blowing them out. The best part was the crowd reaction to Fuquan Edwin's baskets. (They're not booing, they're saying Foo.) I tried to convince one of the Beers kids to change his name to Fuquan but they're too savvy for that.

One annoying trend that has emerged recently, and I am guilty of it too (especially when I am unable to check in at a game on Facebook) people spend way too much time on their phones during games. You pay for the ticket, you're surrounded by thousands of people, presumably some of them are your friends and all you do is text on the phone. I forbade people from using their phones while the ball was in play. Pizza Parlor Derek blatantly disobeyed me. I thought he was very disappointed that we didn't get to eat at Dinosaur. But turns out he was just tweeting. After the game I read several funny tweets from him which I would have enjoyed had he just said them to me.

But after the game we did retire to Dinosaur for a drink (not a brisket) and I had a nice chat with PPD. And next time we'll know that we have to arrive at Dinosaur four hours before game time in order to get a table. Unfortunately, there won't be a next time.

Better Dance Craze?

There are two hilarious dance crazes sweeping the nation (or perhaps have swept) based on the actions of dead or dying characters in TV in movies.

First there is the Fred Sanford, which involves clutching your heart with your right hand, throwing your left straight into the air and teetering about with your head thrown back.

Here's Redd Foxx doing the Fred Sanford

And now these expert dancers demonstrate it



The Bernie Lomax has gone a little more mainstream, there's actually two songs "Moving Like Berney [sic]" by ISA and "The Bernie Lean" by ATM and IMD which caught on with the Oakland A's.



And here's the original set to music.

Song of the Week

"Dance For You" - Beyonce
Sometimes I buy Mrs. Poop flowers for no reason. Jus' sayin'.

The Buss Stops Here

Lakers owner Jerry Buss died this week at age 80. Buss bought the team for $16M in 1980 (as part of a deal that included other properties) and now the Lakers are worth an estimated $1B. Once Jerry was asked if he would ever sell the team, he said "what could I buy that I would want more than the Lakers?"



He is certainly one of the most successful owners in the history of team sports, winning 10 titles and making the Finals 16 times (roughly every other year of his ownership). It's hard to calculate exactly how much credit he deserves for that, but he certainly was a great owner in that he hired good people and gave them the money and the autonomy to do their jobs. And the results are phenomenal.

The other world Jerry was involved in was poker. Most of the top pros will tell you Jerry was a good player and I'm sure that's true. But from what I saw of him he was clearly over-matched against the top pros and probably added millions of dollars to the poker economy by playing against tougher opponents.

One memorable televised poker moment involving Jerry Buss came during the NBC Heads Up Tournament. Buss was playing Daniel Negreanu (who was wearing a Ben Wallace jersey, just to needle Jerry after the Pistons beat the Lakers in the Finals) and not only did Jerry take a bad beat, it happened in a sick fashion.

Note: Even if you don't know poker, what happens hear is very clear and easy to understand.

Is Wrestling Still On?

I haven't watch professional wrestling in at least 10 years, and really hadn't even heard anyone talking about it. I literally have no idea which of the old school guys are still around, and who the new stars are.
But then I came across this video of the always entertaining The Rock from WWE Raw's 20th Anniversary show, serenading someone named Vicky:
They took down my first video, try this one, but go a minute in and ignore the horrible hiss



"And then she'll ask me
Do I look alright
And I said 'no biatch
You look horrible tonight.'"

Another Creep From Our Past

Noted Staten Island orthopedist Dr Mark Sherman is in some hot water over a picture he texted to a a female patient.
According to the Daily News he sent a picture of his dick to Wanda Arena, a bikini contest competitor and 9/11 widow.

Arena says the phone calls and texts went on for several years before Dr. Sherman stepped up his game with the dicpic.

There's a second woman also accusing Dr. Sherman of being a perv. When she told him her arm hurt when she pulled her pants down, he said that would interfere with her sex life.

It's all pretty unremarkable to me, Dr. Sherman is divorced, he can do what he likes. But it's just another example of the deviants and lowlives we encountered during our youth.

Story suggested by Nails

At Some Age This is No Longer Going to Be Funny

Chase and Julian reading the SI Swimsuit issue

This is Why Julian Has to Wait a Few More Years

I started a policy with my children to wait until they are 5 years old before taking them a major sporting event. Mostly because I want the first game to special, I don't want to waste money on a kid who won't enjoy it and I don't want to go to a game with a kid who won't sit still.
Now there's a new reason:



Turns out this kid was part of an on-court promotion set to take place during the timeout. But he got excited and ran on the court too early.

And a brilliant SIIJ reference!

Happy Valentine's Day

Jim Boeheim Acts Like a Dick

This isn't exactly breaking news because Jim Boeheim has been doing this for years. Because of his success and his position at the University he feels he can say and do anything he wants with no repercussions. He can make a knee-jerk statement about child molestation accusations and get away with it, and now he insulted a reporter, ESPN's Andy Katz, after Syracuse's loss to Connecticut.



It's not 100% clear what Boeheim was angry about. It's possible this dates back to Katz's reporting on the Bernie Fine scandal. But here's a theory I tend to believe. It comes from Katz's report on James Southerland's suspension.
In the first half Katz reported that Southerland's academic issue was regarding "two paragraphs" in a paper. At the time I discussed this with Billy, and we both thought it seemed implausible that an issue that minor could have taken 6 weeks to resolve.
Maybe Southerland lied to Katz, knowing the University would likely not refute his statement (to protect his privacy), maybe someone else did, or maybe Katz's source told him the truth. Either way, it's possible Boeheim did not wish Katz to share that information. Maybe he didn't think Katz should have been pumping JaySouth for info, maybe he thought the conversation was off the record. Not sure exactly how that might have played out, but it seems third most likely reason for him to be angry, with the first two being they lost and that Boeheim is just a dick.

Coolest Winner in Jeopardy History

Leonard Cooper is now the coolest winner in Jeopardy history. Granted, there isn't a lot of competition for that title but Cooper won the teen tournament with an impressive amount of flair and bravado.



First of all, he absolutely did the right thing risking it all on that Daily Double. It was an all-or-nothing move, but he'd have to do one on final Jeopardy anyway, and this clue was likely to be easier.
Second, his victory of the $75,000 was not a sure thing. The other kid could have gotten it right and wagered enough to beat him, coupling in his huge advantage from the previous show.
Third, Chase might have known that first answer. When I was teaching him eyes, ears, nose, etc., I also taught him where his clavicle is. For Julian, I did sternum. Funny parlor trick.

Song of the Week

"Fire We Make" - Alicia Keys featuring Maxwell
I love a good male/female duet and this is two of the best voices out there right now. It has a soulful melody, like something the Isleys might have done in 1977.
Really loving this jam right now.

I Bet He Gets That a Lot

One time, in a class in college, two groups were doing a package on crime on Marshall Street, both groups interviewed the same t-shirt store employee. But in their packages, they called him two different names. One was the correct name, one was a made-up name they conjured because they had forgotten to ask his real name.
Similarly, as I have pointed out before on this blog, the 1996 Susan Wagner High School Yearbook misidentified several girls as NHL players, because VinJuice loves hockey and forgot to go back and get their correct names.
I could have sworn the same thing had happened when I watched a special about the NFL. A bald man identifed as the NFL Director of Programming Digital Media (sounds like a made-up title) was named as Tom Brady.

Surely, the producers had forgotten to get his name, inserted Tom Brady to hold the space and never went back to change it. But I Googled it, and came up with Tom Brady, Vice President, Programming & Production, NFL Media (a more believable title). He even had his own LinkedIn account.

That seems like an impossible coincidence, but I guess Tom Brady is just a more common name than I thought.

Which Head? Yours!

Kate Upton and her ridiculously large breasts are gracing the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue for the second year in a row.

If Anyone Can Make Doug Gottlieb Tolerable

Doug Gottlieb, former Oklahoma State point guard, full-time Syracuse hater is in love with the sound of his own voice. Which means he probably loves his new show, "Lead Off" on CBS Sports Network. Basic premise: the host throws out a topic and Gottlieb rants on it for about a minute. Sounds terrible, right?
But the host, is Allie LaForce, the incredibly hot, incredibly young (24) former Miss Teen USA.
I watched one episode of this show and it seemed ok. Gottlieb is tolerable in small doses and LaForce is not just hot, she has some good things to say. The show definitely has potential, especially if LaForce develops more of her own voice to combat Gottlieb, the way Michelle Beadle became beloved for shutting down that dweeb Colin Cowherd on SportsNation.

WARNING: LaForce was only 15 in this bikini picture!

One disturbing thing about Allie LaForce though: she is fucking Joe Smith. Not the cool Joe Smith, from the University of Maryland. The mediocre Joe Smith who used to pitch for the Mets and now plays for the Cleveland Indians. One time Smith got into a tussle at a bar, and LaForce's relative (brother?) ended up getting handcuffed as a result. And she's still with him. Smith will make $3m this season which I'm sure is a turn-on for a girl like LaForce, though if this show takes off she'll be able to buy her own red-soled shoes. Not sure why she needs this junkballer in her life but maybe what they have is real.

The Judge Has a Grudge

Obnoxious teenager Penelope Soto was picked up by the cops in Miami when she crashed her bike while high on Xanax. Police discovered 26 more Xanax pills or "bars" as they are called on the street. She appeared in front of the judge at a bail hearing.



Awesome!
I totally agree with Judge Jorge Rodriguez-Chomat for smacking this young punk down. She was not being serious, or respectful.
"It's worth a lot of money" "Like what" "Like Rick Ross."
He should have held her in contempt after that answer.
But then the "adios" and finally the "fuck you."
Hopefully this dumb slut will use her 30 days in the hoosegaw to reflect on her behavior and come out a rehabilitated young lady.

When Everyone's Wrong, No One is Right

A 31-point blowout win in the NBA normally doesn’t garner much attention but the Rockets-Warriors game was so interesting it merits discussion. The Rockets had a great night, nailing a bunch of 3s, until they tied the NBA record with 23 3-points, with 3:41 left in the game. After that, Houston tried several more attempts to get the record. Eventually, Mark Jackson ordered the Warriors to foul Houston, so they couldn’t get a 3-pointer off. Draymond Green fouled Patrick Beverly so hard he got a flagrant foul, started a fight and got ejected. But the Rockets didn’t get that 24th 3-pointer. I think both teams are wrong here. First, records and accomplishments achieved outside of the normal flow of the game are not real records. Famous examples include: Ricky's Davis's triple-double, Nykesha Sales hobbling on court on crutches, Brett Favre taking a dive for Michael Strahan or Grinnell college feeding Jack Taylor over and over until he scores 138 points. Those accomplishments are hollow and I think those teams and players are wrong to pursue them in that way. But if your opponent is doing something like that, or running up the score, or doing an annoying touchdown celebration, the answer is: stop them! Don't resort to physical or dirty play, stop them. You don't like what they do when they score, don't let them score. I will not choose sides in this one because I think both teams are wrong here.

A Bad Angle

A photo is making the rounds on the internet, purporting to show Justin Bieber grabbing the breast of a young fan.

As Mrs. Poop can attest, this is not a boob grab just a picture taken from an unfortunate angle at an unfortunate time. He was pulling his hand away from a hug and the picture was snapped. I'm sure there's a inch or two between his hand and her boob, but you just cannot tell from this angle.

What I Should Have Said Theater

Where was Steve Tasker when the lights went out? In the dark.
CBS did a horrible job updating the fans throughout the entire blackout, but none worse than Steve Tasker, who despite being a television reporter, couldn't coherently report what was going on.
Remember, fans at home saw the lights go out, then 30 seconds or so of ambient crowd noise, then a commercial. We knew nothing, and they came back to Tasker who said "welcome back to New Orleans, I'm Steve Tasker sideline reporter for the uh, Super Bowl 47, if you're expecting to hear our friend Jim Nantz it may be a moment before he gets on. Half the power in New Orleans Stadium, the Superdome here, almost a perfect semicircle of the lights, half the stadium, went out, the scoreboard is also not working as well."

Here's what Steve Tasker should have said:
"I'm Steve Tasker, there has been a power failure at the Superdome. Half the lights are out. There is no power in our broadcast booth where Jim Nantz and Phil Simms are. There are enough lights still on, so no one is panicking. We do not know what caused this, and we do not know how long it will take to fix it. Both teams are just milling around wondering when they will be able to resume play."

Granted, I have the benefit of time, he didn't, but a reporter should always say his most important thing in his first sentence. If he practiced that enough, it would become habit. The first thing he said should have been about the blackout or the lights going out, not about the Superdome and our friend Jim Nantz.