Super Bowl Prop Bets

Who cares who wins the game? What we want to know is, what color will the Gatorade be? So here are some prop bets for this year’s Super Bowl from Bovada.com:

SUPER BOWL MVP
Peyton Manning 11/10
There really is no other choice here. If the Broncos win he’s the MVP. If you believe the Broncos win slightly more than 50% of the time, this is a good bet.

Richard Sherman 20/1
Sherman is good for a long shot. The odds are way shorter than they should be because of all the hype surrounding him, but that could also increase the chances voters choose him. If Seattle win 17-10 and Sherman has a key pick, he could definitely win the award. Dexter Jackson and Larry Brown are two defensive backs who have won Super Bowl MVP Awards.

Player to Score First Touchdown
Julius Thomas 8/1
He seems to be Manning’s go-to target in the red zone. But the odds are tricky because Denver has so many weapons.

Total Passing Yards – Peyton Manning
Under 290 ½ (-125)
I think the Broncos will struggle at times in this game, especially hitting long passes. Their offense will be methodical in both passing and running games.

Total Receiving Yards – Wes Welker
Over 57 ½ (-125)
I think the Seahawks are going to clamp down on the outside receivers and I expect a lot of short passes over the middle to Welker.

Total tackles and assists – Richard Sherman
Under 3 ½ (-125)
Teams just don’t throw at him enough.

Total Sacks – Michael Bennett
Over ½ (+120)
Manning doesn’t avoid sacks with his feet, he avoids them by throwing the ball. I think we can count on at least one or two from the Seahawks and Bennett is a pretty good guess.

Who will catch a pass first? Andre Caldwell or Jermaine Kearse
Jermaine Kearse -150
Caldwell is barely even an option for Manning. Kearse is emerging as one of Wilson’s preferred targets.

Renee Fleming National Anthem
Under 2 minutes 25 seconds (+110)
I think every year I take under and lose. But this is an incredibly long drawn out version of the Anthem

Will Renee Fleming Wear Gloves?
Yes (-300)
Easy money. It’s not going to be a freezing blizzard, but it will definitely be cold enough for gloves.

How Many Times will Eli Manning be shown on TV during the game?
Under 1 ½ (+110)
The networks actually don’t overdo this during the Super Bowl. And I am sure Eli will try to stay out of sight.

Who will be seen first after kickoff? Erin Andrews or Pam Oliver
Erin Andrews (-140)
Please God don’t show Pam Oliver. There are children watching.

How many times will Peyton Manning say Omaha?
Under 27 ½ (-105)
He said it 31 times during the AFC Championship, but obviously it’s just a decoy now, and not all that funny anymore.

Which Song will Bruno Mars perform first?
Treasure 5/1
In my extensive knowledge of his catalog I think this is his most up-tempo number.

What will Bruno Mars be wearing on his head at the start of his performance?
Fedora – Even
Like taking candy from a baby

Will Wes Welker drop a pass?
No – Even
The guy drops one pass in a Super Bowl, on a poorly thrown ball and you never let him forget it.

What color will the Gatorade be?
Orange – Even
If Broncos win it will surely be orange.

Who will the Super Bowl MVP mention first in his speech?
Teammates – Even
It’s Peyton Manning and team comes first to him.

How many average viewers will the game have?
Under 112 million – Even
If the game isn’t close audience will drop off towards the end.

Overactive Tear Ducts

This video of Knowshon Moreno crying before a game earlier this season has been getting a lot of play recently. But all anyone wants to talk about is why Moreno is crying.
I want to know who the fuck cries like that?

Enjoy Your Drink Clint

There was an amazing list of Starbucks spelling mistakes, many of which were not to be believed (no matter what they think they heard no barista is writing Vagina or Anus on someone's coffee cup) but this one, totally reasonable to believe it actually happened had me in absolute hysterics.

See you next Tuesday, Clint.

You Don't Want to See How the Sausage is Made

Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch loves Skittles. His nickname is Beast Mode. (That's for the lady Poopheads). Oh and I guess I should also mention the Seahawks are the Super Bowl.
The Seahawks introduced a Beast Mode burger, which came with a bag of Skittles, on the side.
But that just wasn't good enough for one butcher in Seattle. He decided to just dump an entire bag of Skittles into the sausage.



It might not be so bad if Skittles still had lime instead of that awful green apple.

Maybe He's Representing Staten Island a Little Too Much

Congressman Michael Grimm, who represents Staten Island and part of Brooklyn in Congress and looks like Chael Sonnen, administered a little Staten Island justice to a reporter after the State of the Union.



Grimm only wanted to answer questions about the State of the Union and the reporter, Michael Scotto was trying to ask about some campaign financing issue.
I don't have a problem with Scotto asking, I don't have a problem with Grimm not answering, and if he stated before the interview that he wasn't willing to talk about it, then I don't even have a problem with Grimm confronting him.
But even though I like his Staten Island fire, I wish he would have told Scotto "I told you not to ask me about anything other than the State of the Union and you tried to sandbag me, that wasn't right. Don't ever do that to me again." That would have been an appropriate and acceptable response.
Threatening physical violence never is, especially when you're wearing a microphone and making the threats in front of a TV camera.

Song of the Week

"Partition" - Beyonce
"Driver roll up the partition please
I don't need you seeing yoncé on her knees"

This is a side of Beyonce we don't normally see. But I like it.

Funny or Douchey?

Daft Punk won the Grammys for record and album of the year, but they couldn't even give their acceptance speech because they were dressed like robots.

I understand this is their gimmick, and they always appear in public like this.
But what a shame it is that they reached the pinnacle of their profession and they can't get any credit or say anything because they're hiding behind masks.
Doesn't matter their reasoning, or if their gimmick is part of what helped them win in the first place, being a character 100% of the time, is douchey.

Subtle Racism

Let's look at the winners of the Grammy Awards in the rap and R&B categories:
Best rap performance:“Thrift Shop,” Macklemore and Ryan Lewis featuring Wanz
Best rap song: “Thrift Shop” Ben Haggerty & Ryan Lewis
Best rap album: “The Heist,” Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

Best R&B performance: “Something,” Snarky Puppy With Lalah Hathaway
Best R&B song: “Pusher Love Girl,” James Fauntleroy, Jerome Harmon, Timothy Mosley and Justin Timberlake
Best R&B album: “Girl On Fire,” Alicia Keys
Best urban contemporary album: “Unapologetic,” Rihanna
That's 7 categories, 5 wins for (songs performed by) white men and 2 for black women.

Where are the black men? Eric Benet and Anthony Hamilton both had excellent albums in the R&B categories and Kendrick Lamar and Drake also had great entries in the rap categories but somehow the white people keep winning. And there is a history of this happening in these categories.

The reason is some kind of subtle, unintentional racism. The people who vote for these awards are not exposed to enough of the music in these categories so they go with who they know. And invariably and unfortunately, the white acts (Macklemore, Eminem, Justin Timberlake and Robin Thicke) seem to get all the media attention, making this a self-fulfilling prophecy of institutional racism.

There's also the fact that these artists seem to have embraced the more pop side of their genres, in order to appeal to a mass audience, so once again, we have this vicious cycle.

I am not saying anyone does this intentionally, or even realizes it's going on, which makes it so hard to stop.

One thing I do notice from this is a kind of reverse racism, the Donovan McNabb Effect. Everyone in the white media feels guilty about this inherent racism so when they see a black person doing well, they totally exaggerate how great this person is as if to say "I'm not a racist, I loved Lupita Nyong'o in 12 Years a Slave."

I love Lupita and think she is gorgeous and wonderful, and surely a fine actress. But it is clear to me, at least some of the attention focused on her is out of guilt or an attempt to prove one's open-mindedness, not based on her looks or talent or performance.

They're Haunting My Dreams! Who? The Libyans!!!!!!!!!!

When the Lego Delorean came out last year I knew I wanted it, I mean I knew Chase wanted it, but I decided I had to watch the movie with him first so he could really understand and appreciate it.
The problem was finding the time. Since Julian doesn't nap anymore it's very hard to get 2 hours without him.
My day off on Martin Luther King Day, and Chase's strep throat (they both had school) gave us the opportunity.
He really liked the movie, and though he had difficulty following at times, I explained some things and he asked some questions so he did understand what happened.

A few funny points:

1) We talked about the bad language and after it was over he told me Marty said "o-s-h-i-t" and he heard a couple of "stu words" but he hasn't repeated them.
2) I told him not to hold onto a car while skateboarding, because it wasn't safe in real life. He said "if it's not real why didn't the inventor guy just put rockets on his skateboard?"
3) Later we tried to get him to explain the plot to Mrs. Poop (just to see what he retained) and he started with "the inventor had so many clocks, but they were wrong so the kid was late to school." When we told him to skip ahead a little he said "the kid saw himself and the inventor guy got shot, but he was wearing a bullet proof vest. Then he made the car fly."
4) He said "I don't like Biff, cuz he's mean and he's a bully."

Also the movie provided us a good opportunity to talk about self-confidence and doing anything you can set your mind to. Though I hope he doesn't go around punching people to boost his self-confidence and launch a class president campaign.

There was one drawback though. The night we saw the movie Chase came down about 30 minutes after he went to bed (which is 29 minutes after he normally falls asleep) and said he couldn't sleep because he was having nightmares about the Libyans, and he wanted to know if they were real. The next day he was still concerned so I explained the Libyans were only mad at Doc because he cheated them. That's why he shot them.

Now that we got that squared away it was time to build.
This was actually one of the most complicated, difficult builds we've ever done. Lots of tiny little pieces and very few traditional Lego bricks.

Including a flux capacitor. Or a flex capacitator as Chase called it.

The awesome license plate, OUTATIME.

And an accurate Doc and Marty. He even has the life vest. Dork thinks he's gonna drown.

But the finished product looks awesome.

Reason I Love Mrs. Poop #415,782

Knowing my love of melting crayons and making new ones, Mrs. Poop bought me a new mold, lips and mustaches.

That would have been enough (dayenu), but when she gave it to me she called it "lips and assholes," a reference to a classic movie line.

Celebrity Bandwagon

When you're undefeated and ranked #2 in the country it's natural for people to want to jump on the bandwagon.
So I guess we shouldn't be surprised to see Isla Fischer wearing a gray Syracuse Otto the Orange t-shirt to the gym.

Note: I know this is really Amy Adams.

Song of the Week

"All the Way Home" - Tamar Braxton
Not sure if any other artist has ever had 2 SOTWs in such a short time span, but I absolutely love this song. It joins one of my favorite songs ever, "All I Ever Think About is You" by Chrisette Michele (SOTW, 6/23/10) in the genre of songs about having a partner who drives you crazy, but even when you fight with that person, you can't stop thinking about him or her, because the overriding emotion is love. Maybe this hits home with Mrs. Poop and me.

"And who I think I'm fooling anyway
I'm driving around the block to come right back to you
When all along, I knew I should have stayed right where I was
Instead of drive and think of you"

The Sherman-Crabtree Incident

Richard Sherman is an asshole. He is a trash talker, and an awful jerk.
Look at what he did to poor Erin Andrews after the NFC Championship game.



"Well, I'm the best corner in the game, when you try me with a sorry receiver like Crabtree that's the result you gonna get. Don't you ever talk about me."
"Who's talking about you?"
"Crabtree. Don't you open your mouth about the best. Or I'm going to shut it for you, real quick. LOB (Legion of Boom)!"

He eventually gave a calmer interview with Ed Werder and was completely composed during his postgame press conference when he continued to call Crabtree "mediocre."

Fine, if this is how Sherman wants to be and it makes him happy, that's fine with me.

But the righteous indignation when someone comes back at him is where he really pisses me off. Trent Williams punched Sherman, Sherman went after Skip Bayless, and there are other incidents, and each time Sherman wants to play the innocent victim.

This time he tried to blame Crabtree for allegedly trying to fight him at a charity event. Do you think Crab did that for no reason? They'd never met before? They play twice a year and Sherman does the same shit but Crabtree can't react during the game so he waited until he got to a place where he could beat Sherman's ass.

Sherman is a very good player, and he is a smart guy. But being a Stanford graduate doesn't make you a saint. He's not charming, he's seldom funny. He's just a trash-talking asshole who starts shit and then likes to complain that he was victimized.

Remember if he hadn't derisively patted Crabtree on the ass, this wouldn't have happened. If he hadn't given that ridiculous pro wrestling interview to Erin Andrews, this wouldn't have happened. And then, even with the advantage of hindsight he stuck to his guns.

So now the situation has gotten way out of control, and he's becoming a huge villain and even his coach and teammates are calling him a distraction, now he wants to apologize.

It's a little too late buddy. Next time just shut your mouth and play.

The NFL is Poop - Conference Championships

The Ones That I Want
Only once in the past 20 years have the top seeds from each conference played each other in the Super Bowl. Unfortunately for him, Peyton Manning lost that game, to the Saints.
Note: The Bills 4th straight Super Bowl loss, was the previous time, in January 1994, Super Bowl XXVIII.
One of the drawbacks of this wild card era is that frequently teams that are inferior, had so-so regular seasons, not just make, they win they Super Bowl. It has led to a long run of mostly exciting games for about 15 years now but regular season success is rarely ever rewarded. But both these teams earned the top spots in their conference because they were better all year, and they used their home-field advantages, the thin air and 12th man (the second of which I still believe is greatly overrated) and held serve against worthy adversaries.

This Super Bowl will also feature the #1 offense vs. the #1 defense. The last time that happened was the first Super Bowl the Bills lost, to the Giants, on Scott Norwood's miss. This might be a better predictor of the type of game we're going to see. Seattle;s big physical corners are going to try to beat up the Denver receivers and Denver will likely try run routes to get their receivers into favorable coverages, screens and quick slants.

15th Times the Charm
In the 15th matchup of Peyton Manning and Tom Brady, Manning clearly got the better of his heretofore more successful counterpart. Manning was precise in his short throws and even though people say he has lost some arm strength he threw some beautiful balls that were turned into great catches by his receivers.
Brady on the other hand was not at his best, missing a wide open Julian Edelman early in the game and later also missed some throws that I thought he could have made. These things happen. Not even the best players can play at their best in every single game. If they did, it wouldn't be fun to watch. Also the Patriots vaunted running game (a little sarcasm there) only managed 64 yards, putting more pressure on the passing game.

Manning's Legacy
I have always been a pretty big Peyton Manning doubter, considering him a great quarterback who far too often was unable to make the big play to lead his team to victory in a big game, very often making the game-losing mistake instead, like the Tracy Porter pick-6 in Super Bowl XLIV. But at this point, 3 Super Bowl appearances, every NFL record, win or lose he's the perfect cross between Dan Marino and Joe Montana and he has to be one of the 2 or 3 greatest QBs of all time.

Timing is Everything: The Russell Wilson Story
I have never been a huge Russell Wilson fan, and I still think a large part of his success is due to the team he is on, but he certainly deserves a lot of credit for winning this game for the Seahawks. Yes, he made some bad plays, the intentional grounding, but he hit two huge plays, and they were both plays that very few other NFL QBs could have made. The first one came early in the game, a ridiculous 51-yarder to Baldwin who was being double-covered. But he caught it and it set up the Seahawks first points, a field goal that cut the lead to 10-3. And of course the second was a ridiculous bomb to Jermaine Kearse to give Seattle a 20-17 lead. That was a risky play. If they don't make that the 49ers get the ball with the lead and good field position. But Wilson, as seems to be his MO, made the play when it absolutely needed to be made.

Night Kap
On the other hand you have Colin Kaepernick who was great early, but turned it over 3 times in the 4th quarter. This game showcased everything we know about Kap, he's got a great arm, is really fast, but he makes mistakes.
Personally, I blame a lot of his problems on the game plan. I thought the play-calling in the second half was atrocious. You have to give the Seahawks credit, they are good. They should have attacked with crossing routes, rollouts, and even designed Kaepernick scrambles. Instead it seemed the 49ers wanted to hit the big pass to the outside, 2 of which were picked. And 2 more could have been (the TD to Boldin and another pass on the last drive, to Crab, I think). And on that last play, why go for broke there with 20 seconds left and 2 timeouts? And if that was the decision why rush it? Why not take a timeout? Whoever decided that is the one who needs to take the blame.

Ball Don't Lie
One of the craziest sequences ever occurred in the 4th quarter when Seattle fumbled on consecutive plays. And funny thing about this sequence is San Francisco recovered the first one, and the ball went to Seattle. Seattle recovered the second, and the ball went to San Fran. On the first one, NaVorro Bowman had a clear recovery (this type of play will be reviewable next year) but he must have gotten it pulled out in the pile, understandable since his knee had just been torn to shreds.
But on the very next play, Wilson and Lynch botched the handoff, and though the Seahawks jumped on it, it was 4th and goal, so the 9ers got the ball back, rightfully.

Picture of the Week
Peyton Manning bobbles a snap

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Denver Broncos 27 Seattle Seahawks 13
Something just feels right about Peyton Manning winning the Super Bowl this year and cementing his legacy. I have not been overly impressed by the Seahawks offense, and no matter how good their defense plays, you know Manning will still put up points.

Weekly Picks

A push and a late touchdown ruined my week.

DENVER -5 1/2 new england
I feel like it's Peyton Manning's year.

san francisco +3 1/2 SEATTLE
Seattle's quarterback and its home field advantage are both incredibly overrated.

Last Week: 1-3 (0 pointa)
Season: 46-47 (36 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (6-13)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (19-22)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 1-0 (13-11)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (12-13)

Lead By Example

The Sochi Olympics start in 3 weeks and so far all we know is that Russia doesn't want gay people acting gay on its streets. In response to that the U.S. (President Obama) named a delegation of gay athletes, chief among them Billie Jean King and figure skater Brian Boitano. King never played in the Olympics (she did coach) and Boitano wasn't even out until last week when he did so in order to accept this honor.
You see the selection of King, Boitano et al, was based on one factor, they're gay.
And that's what prompted Mario Pescante, an IOC member from Italy to say "it's absurd that a country like that sends four lesbians to Russia just to demonstrate that in their country gay rights have (been established)."
And if I had to choose sides in this debate, I would side with Pescante, but allow me to state his point a little more delicately. If the U.S. is trying to prove that gay people are equal on all counts, including and especially sporting prowess, and therefore we shouldn't judge people or select people for honors based on the sexuality.
Wouldn't it be an outrage to give such an honor only to heterosexuals? So why is it ok to give the honor to only homosexuals?
I know the counterarguments to what I am saying: we have to make an issue of this and bring attention to the harsh policies in Russia and elsewhere. Basically the pendulum is pulled to one side, that we have to pull it to the other side, past the center, if we ever want it to rest in the middle.
That seems completely logical, but I disagree. I don't see how violating the very thing you're fighting for (people and athletes should not be judged by the sexual preference) helps further your point.
In my experience, the best way to influence the behavior of others is to be the person you want them to be.
So the U.S. should have named Boitano, and the usual raft of dignitaries and brown nosers, and made its point all the same, with a little less hypocrisy.

What the Heck Happened?

One day I noticed an unusual spike in hits for the Poop.

Most of them were for the post titled "Mrs. Poop's Evening Workout." That was the post speculating about Undercover Boss coming to Retro Fitness, which did eventually happen.
As you may remember, that episode featured a horrible employee named Jackie who was fired for her behavior on the show.

I am guessing that episode recently aired for the first time in New Zealand.

Note: that original post has 25 comments (most all-time) and 3400 page views (just outside the top 10 all-time).

The NFL is Poop - Divisional Playoffs

Disappointing Weekend
Normally Divisional Playoff weekend is the best one of the year because there are four games and you are guaranteed to have the league's four best teams are guaranteed to be involved. But after a very exciting weekend all four of these games were duds. Even the two games that were technically touchdown games were only made so by late touchdowns.

A Touch of Excitement
If nothing else we did have two very exciting plays. Twice a team down by a touchdown late in the 4th quarter kicked an onside, and recovered it.
First, the Saints. They actually might have had a chance after their recovery, but when Marques Colston caught a pass, instead of stepping out of bounds, and giving Drew Brees a Hail Mary, he stepped back in bounds and threw a forward pass all the way across the field. Not how the Saints wanted their season to end.

The Saints say the play was called, but Colston obviously screwed up the execution by passing forward. And Payton also admits maybe it was called one play too early, they had time for another chance.
San Diego tried their onside with 5 minutes left, down 10, recovered it, and drove for a score (a field goal). But they couldn't stop Denver and get the ball back.

Brilliance of Belichick

I don't want to get involved on the Bill Belichick dick-sucking, but it would just be impossible for him to have this much success without being an excellent coach. The latest example would be a playoff win where the Patriots run the ball 46 times (vs. 25 passes by Tom Brady) for 234 yards and 6 touchdowns. And with guys like LeGarrette Blount, castoffs who somehow buy into the Patriot Way.

Did Anyone Else Notice?
The pants of Colts wide receiver Da'Rick Rogers? I know it was raining, so I expected his pants to be wet. But he must have also come in contac
t with some red paint from the field. Either that or he had some serious rectal bleeding? LeGarrette Blount's confrontation with the ref? After some pretty benign jawing the referee, Garth DeFelice, aggressively shoved Blount, and screamed in his face, for much longer than necessary to defuse the situation? The guys at Larry Brown Sports noticed.

One Last ScrewUp
The Colts-Patriots game was the last in the long announcing career of Dan Dierdorf. And he left us with one final flub. While talking about the play where Patriots punter Ryan Allen scopped up a bad snap at the two yard line and tried to do something with it, Dierdorf said he should have just fallen on the ball and let his defense try to stop the Colts. His actual decision to try to throw it was a poor one (though it worked out well because it was batted out of the back of the end zone for a safety), what he should have done was kick the ball, or pick it up and run with it, out of the back of the end zone. The 2 points for a safety was the least bad option available to him at the time. But Dierdorf insisted giving the Colts the ball at the 2 was his best option.
Though Allen did get hurt forcing placekicker Stephen Gostkowski to do the punting for the rest of the game.

He did have a nice moment with Greg Gumbel at the end of the game.
But my best memory of Dierdorf occurred during the heyday of Monday Night Football when Hank Williams Jr was crooning "Franl and Al and Dannnnnn..." The Raiders Napoleon McCallum suffered a brutal knee injury and a disgusted Dierdorf said (too bad that video cuts off before he says it) "Normally we hope we have as many viewers as possible but I hope the TV wasn't on in the McCallum household tonight."

Game of Next Week
New England Patriots at Denver Broncos
It's very hard to choose because I am very much looking forward to both of these games, but how can you pass up Manning v. Brady for the Super Bowl. I have little rooting interest so I will just hope it becomes a legendary game with an exciting ending.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Denver Broncos 21 Seattle Seahawks 10
I just have a feeling this is Peyton Manning's year. I do think there is a good chance the 49ers pull off the upset and lose their second straight Super Bowl, but as of right now, you'd have to make Seattle the favorites. Also, I did pick San Fran and Denver for the Super Bowl way back in September [CORRECTED] so I am hoping that comes true.

Song of the Week

"You Get the Best From Me" - Alicia Myers
Just a great early 80s funk/dance song. Every once in a while I like a really long song, something you can just chill and groove to.

Off the Carpet

Boobs were not in fashion this year at the Golden Globes (I feel this is harder than it should be every single year), since Madmen wasn't nominated and we didn't have Christina Hendricks.
But luckily we found Nina Dobrev from Mrs. Poop's favorite show, Vampire Diaries showing off her Golden Globes, at not just one but two different parties on Golden Globes weekend.