Mark McGwire's Steroid Admission

The lying scumbag Mark McGwire finally admits to using steroids.

There are a few reasons why this bothers me.

First he cheated. Fundamentally as a fan that hurts me, even though I know hundreds of others did the same thing.

Secondly, he broke sports most hallowed record under false pretenses.

Third, even in telling the truth McGwire told more lies.

He said he only juiced for health reasons, to help recover from injuries. I guess he doesn't buy the theory that his steroid use led to his body breaking down.



When pressed by Bob Costas he refused to even acknowledge that even if that were the case he still benefitted from the roids.

He said he had been hitting home runs in little league, high school, college the minor leagues and even as a rookie before discovering steroids (supposedly). That may be true, but not that many.

And then he trotted out the old hand eye coordination excuse. Yes its true steroids can't teach you how to hit a baseball traveling towards you at 95 miles per hour. But if you already know how to do that like say a major league baseball player, steroids will help you hit it farther. Even the player with the most natural power and the best hand eye coordination would still hit fly balls to the warning track. But with steroids those balls become home runs.

When asked if he could have hit 70 without roids McGwire said yes. I wish he would have said "I think so, but I never gave myself the chance."

A couple things McGwire said did stick with me.

He said he wanted to tell the truth to Congress that day but his lawyers couldn't get him immunity (a longshot) so he pulled the incredibly incriminating "I'm not here to talk about the past" routine. I've killed him over that for nearly five years but I now realize if you have to show up but you can't tell the truth and don't want to lie "I'm not here to talk about the past" is probably your best choice. Especially since "no hablo ingles" was taken by Sammy Sosa.

In his statement/confession McGwire said "I wish I never played in the steroid era."

That to me seems like his way of saying he felt obligated to cheat because everyone else was. I'm sure he feels had he played in the 60s or 70s he would have been a great home run hitter without ever hearing the word steroids.

But it was his misfortune that he played in the steroid era. And ours too.

This is What Larry David Was Worried About

"Curb Your Enthusiasm" fans may remember this scene where Larry David took an interest in a baby recently adopted from China and her ability to use chopsticks.



Maybe Larry David was concerned about this. A 14-month-old boy in China needed surgery after he stuck a chopstick up his nose and into his brain.

Yeah, That's What Tiger Needs

Fox News contributor Brit Hume knows exactly what Tiger needs: Jesus.



I know this is what Jesus people do, they tell other people how great Jesus is, but it seems the height of arrogance to tell someone: what you believe is wrong, if you want to be happy, believe in what I tell you.

This is why I am glad Jews aren't allowed to prostelytize.

LeBron Has Another Pair Just Like It at Home

LeBron James wore one orange and one blue sneaker during a game against the Portland Trail Blazers, to match the Cavaliers orange and blue throwback jersey. LeBron claimed the mismatched shoes were a tribute to Craig Ehlo, Mark Price, Larry Nance and Brad Daugherty but I think he just grabbed the wrong one and was trying to play it off.

Lost Fanatics Want to Send Obama to an Island

Fans of "Lost" the ABC series about marooned plane crash survivors fear President Barack Obama will give his State of the Union address Feb. 2.

That's the same day as the three-hour premiere of the final season of "Lost."

Twitter comments Wednesday included "Leave my LOST alone, Skippy!" and "Come onnnn, Obama..pick another day."

The Facebook group "Americans Against the State of the Union on the Same Night as LOST" asks "When will it end?" It notes that Obama already bumped "A Charlie Brown Christmas" for his Afghanistan speech in some markets.

The White House isn't saying when Obama will speak. An ABC spokesman wouldn't say whether the network would consider moving the premiere.

The Facebook and Twitter comments would be out of control if Obama did this. As a Lost fan myself I just want the season to start already because the sooner it starts the sooner it'll be over. I've said this before but I cannot wait for the show to wrap up so they can stop coming up with ridiculous paranormal twists and start explaining.

But no matter what Obama does he's gonna piss off some people when he bumps their favorite show.

What Really Happened

According to the Washington Post this is what really happened in the Gilbert Arenas gun incident:

"The dispute between Arenas and Crittenton began on the team plane during a popular card game between players called "Boo-ray." Crittenton lost roughly $1,100 to JaVale McGee, a Wizards center, in the game, according to a player who watched the game and who also spoke on condition of anonymity. Crittenton, already angry over a dispute over the game's rules, became irate when Arenas began needling him.

Their barbs escalated to a point where Arenas, smiling, said he would blow up Crittenton's car, according to two players on the flight, who requested anonymity. Crittenton replied that he would shoot Arenas in his surgically repaired knee.

Walking into the locker room two days after the dispute on the team plane, according to two witnesses, Arenas laid out the guns in Crittenton's locker. Two other teammates eventually sauntered in and, while Arenas was writing the note in front of Crittenton's cubicle, in walked Crittenton, according to their account.

Asking Arenas what he was doing, Arenas replied, "If you want to shoot me, I'd just thought I'd make it easy for you." As other teammates laughed, Crittenton crumpled up the paper, tossed one of Arenas's guns across the room, where it bounced in front of a team trainer, and said he didn't need any of Arenas's firearms because he had his own, according to the witness accounts.

Crittenton then drew his weapon, loaded it and chambered a round, the witnesses said.

Neither witness said the gun was ever pointed at Arenas, but both said Crittenton began singing as he held the gun.

Arenas began laughing, the witnesses said, telling Crittenton, "Look at that little shiny gun," as two other players slowly retreated to the training room.

Arenas eventually followed. By the time the players came back out, Crittenton was gone."

If this version is accurate it doesn't seem that bad for Arenas, and it's really bad for Crittenton. It's actually kind of noble that Arenas lied about it to protect Crittenton.

Either way, both guys are incredibly stupid for bringing guns (even licensed, unloaded ones if that's the case) to the workplace. And then joking with them and leaving them out. Incredibly stupid. But if this version is accurate Crittenton should be out of the league forever. You can not load a gun and threaten someone with it. As his employer, the Wizards cannot allow that.

As for Arenas, I think he may done in the NBA for his career. I think the Wizards could definitely seek to void his contract and legally I'd have a hard time seeing how a judge could say the Wizards wouldn't be within their rights to do so.

But Arenas's coup de grace of stupidity, which finally forced David Stern to suspend him is two weeks after the incident he pantomimed shooting his teammates with finger pistols in a pregame huddle.



Just for the record I think this ranks second in terms of worst, most serious behavior by an NBA player in a league facility in a recent memory. I would put this just above Sprewell choking PJ Carlesimo and right below Ron Artest attacking the fans.

He Israeli Good

Sports Illustrated doing an interesting piece on Sacramento Kings forward Omri Casspi, the first NBA player from Israel.

Unless you are as old as Joe Paterno and remember when basketball was a Jewish mans game the only Jews in the NBA you probably know are Jordan Farmar and Danny Schayes.


Here's the entire story on Casspi who wears #18 for chai.



Rabbi Reuven Taff took 21 members of his congregation to Israel this summer and made sure they saw all the historic landmarks most sacred to Jews from Sacramento: the Western Wall, the Golan Heights, Old Jaffa, Masada, the Dead Sea, the Holocaust Memorial at Yad Vashem and, of course, the childhood home of Kings rookie Omri Casspi. On a 10-day pilgrimage to the Holy Land, that had to be their first stop.

They flew into Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv, changed into fresh purple-and-black garb and hopped a bus straight to the suburb of Yavne, once known as the first settlement after the destruction of Jerusalem in 70 A.D., now known as the first town in Israel to produce an NBA player. The congregation could identify the hallowed house by all the bouquets of flowers on the sidewalk, left by neighbors and fans after Casspi, a 6'9" forward, had been taken by Sacramento two weeks earlier with the 23rd pick in the draft.

The visitors were greeted at the front door by Casspi's parents, Shimon and Ilana, and led to the backyard, where they feasted on bourekas and wine. After many mazel tovs and l'chaims, it was time to reboard the bus and head back to Tel Aviv, but Shimon would not let the rabbi go. "He came running up to me, and there were tears in his eyes," Taff says. "He was carrying two Israeli flags in his hands, and he told me to take them." Shimon explained that he had bought the flags when Omri was 14 and waved them at every international game his son had played. "I want you to promise me," Shimon told Taff, "that these two flags will be at every game Omri plays in Sacramento."

The request didn't come at the best time for the rabbi: He no longer had his season tickets. So on Rosh Hashanah, Taff walked down from the pulpit, carrying a wireless microphone in one hand and the flags in the other, and outlined the challenge that Shimon Casspi had put to him two months earlier. Even if the Kings were in last place, even if Omri Casspi never got off the bench, at least one member of the Mosaic Law Congregation had to attend every game at Arco Arena—and to stop by the synagogue first to fetch the flags.

The congregation has responded, and so has Casspi. He doesn't start and isn't even Sacramento's best rookie (see high-scoring combo guard Tyreke Evans), but at week's end he was averaging 11.0 points on 52.5% shooting and 4.0 rebounds, contributing 23.8 strong minutes per game on a 10--12 team that has exceeded expectations. Beyond that, Casspi is making an impact on the NBA in more original ways—debating Kobe versus LeBron in Hebrew, eating foods prepared by a kosher cook, wearing number 18 because it is the Jewish symbol for life and playing with what he calls "the Israeli spirit," which manifests itself in floor burns and busted lips. "He can piss some people off," says Kings swingman Francisco Garcia, "and I love that about him."

Casspi is a spindly 225 pounds, with a black beard that covers his sunken cheekbones and a toughness that belies his frame. He can defend everyone from point guards (he hounded the Bulls' Derrick Rose) to centers (he begged to cover the Suns' Amar'e Stoudemire). Each steal or tip-in provokes a swell of national pride within him. "Every time he scores," says Kings assistant G.M. Jason Levien, "it's as though he's wrapped in the Israeli flag."

Like most NBA players, Casspi grew up watching Michael Jordan—only he had to wake up at 4 a.m. to do it. At 17 he signed with Maccabi Tel Aviv, the best team in Israel and one of the best in Europe, but a year later he was drafted into the army. Every able-bodied 18-year-old Israeli must serve three years in the Israel Defense Forces, a rule that derails most promising athletic careers. But Casspi was among a handful of basketball players chosen by the IDF's sports committee as an "outstanding athlete," meaning he would stay with Maccabi and be sheltered like an elite American college recruit. Although he went to basic training and learned to shoot a gun, he only had to report to the base in Tel Aviv twice a week, and then he wore a sweat suit instead of a uniform. While his older brother, Eitan—a standout point guard in high school—was a paratrooper jumping out of planes in the middle of the night, Casspi was sorting paperwork and refereeing officer basketball games, a soldier in name only. Basketball kept him safe, but it also kept him separate, and even though he was grateful for the arrangement, there were times he felt a little guilty.

"In Israel, being in the army is a special experience, and my friends will take it with them their whole lives," Casspi says. "I didn't have that experience. I didn't really do anything in the army. But right now, I am trying to serve my country in another way."

Before this season 70 nations had sent players to the NBA, from Iceland (Peter Gudmundsson) to Estonia (Martin Muursepp), from Egypt (Alaa Abdelnaby) to Iran (Hamed Haddadi). But Israelis had a history of rimming out. Mickey Berkowitz tried to sign with the Hawks in 1979, but Maccabi would not release him from his contract, and when Berkowitz took the team to court, a judge denied him as well. Oded Katash signed a two-year deal with the Knicks in 1999 but lost patience during the ensuing lockout and returned to Israel. The Sonics took Yotam Halperin with the 53rd pick in 2006, but second-rounders are not given guaranteed contracts, so he too went back to Israel.

That crushed Levien, who was then an agent representing Halperin. A former guard at Pomona who was bar mitzvahed in Jerusalem, Levien was driven to bring the first Israeli to the NBA. After Halperin went home, Levien turned his attention to an athletic but unpolished teenager from Maccabi, Omri Casspi. "He was frenetic," Levien says. "He was a force of nature. He dunked in a way I'd never seen a player from Israel dunk." But before Levien could enter Casspi in the 2009 draft, he was hired last November by Sacramento. Although Levien still wanted to see an Israeli make it to the NBA, he now had to value the Kings' interests over Casspi's, Israel's and even his own. "I had to be totally objective," Levien says.
Meanwhile, Casspi was seeing Levien at predraft workouts, telling him, "If you pick me, I will fight for you. I will go to war for you." Coming from another athlete, the war reference might have been off-putting, but given Casspi's background, it had greater meaning. As a Kings executive, Levien appreciated Casspi not because he was a potential pioneer but because he could bring energy off the bench immediately; over time, under Sacramento's coaches, he could add strength and smooth out his jumpers. G.M. Geoff Petrie and other Kings scouts, who brought imports Hedo Turkoglu and Peja Stojakovic to Sacramento with great success, had tracked Casspi for years and were already intrigued with his abilities. When NBA commissioner David Stern announced that Sacramento was selecting Casspi, Stern cracked a smile, which Casspi maintains was a little wider than usual. "Because he's Jewish," Casspi reasons.

There is a scene in the movie Airplane in which a flight attendant asks a female passenger if she would like something to read. The passenger asks the flight attendant, "Do you have anything light?" Without hesitation, the attendant hands her a leaflet entitled Famous Jewish Sports Legends. The joke, which has dozens of derivatives, was a bit off-base, especially regarding hoops. The first basket ever in the Basketball Association of America—predecessor to the NBA—was scored in 1946 by Ossie Schechtman, a Jew from Brooklyn who played for the Knicks. The '46 Knicks had four Jewish starters in all. Three years later the Syracuse Nationals signed Dolph Schayes, who made 12 All-Star teams and the Hall of Fame. But since Schayes's son, journeyman center Danny Schayes, retired in 1999, the only Jewish player of repute has been Lakers guard Jordan Farmar.

David Vyorst, who produced and directed the 2008 documentary The First Basket, believes that Jewish migration to the suburbs after World War II is to blame for the falloff. If difficult and densely populated environments tend to yield the best basketball players, it only made sense that the next Jewish hope would come from Israel. When Tal Brody arrived in Israel in 1966—he was drafted 13th by the Baltimore Bullets out of Illinois but signed with Maccabi Tel Aviv instead—every game was played outside. Maccabi played in the rain, in the snow, on a kibbutz in the middle of a dust storm. When Saddam Hussein was in power in Iraq, Israeli high school players hauled gas masks to the court as if they were part of their uniform.

When Casspi was drafted, Brody called it "the completion of a circle." Mickey Berkowitz said it "made my dream." Dolph Schayes started checking Sacramento box scores every morning.

At first Casspi appeared overwhelmed by U.S. hoops, shooting a ghastly 29.5% in the Las Vegas Summer League. After a morning practice in late September, Francisco Garcia told Casspi to meet him in the gym at 10 p.m. "He showed up at 9:45," Garcia said. That night Garcia revealed his secret to life in the NBA: "Work when everyone else is asleep." Garcia underwent surgery on his right forearm and wrist in mid-October and will miss most of this season, but he is still traveling with the Kings, mainly to keep an eye on Casspi.

Casspi's combative approach could land him in some trouble. During a predraft group workout he accidentally hit Gonzaga's Austin Daye with an elbow, splitting his lip. During an early-season game against the Warriors, he went face-to-face with notorious brawler Stephen Jackson. Even in practice Casspi is constantly hand-checking teammates, bucking the image of the soft Euro. Among the Kings he is a source of admiration and irritation both. "He gets people riled up," center Spencer Hawes said. "He gets them to the brink." Casspi developed his style under Zvika Sherf, coach of the Israeli national team, who used to tell his players before big tournaments, "We are not going to be the tallest or the strongest or the most talented. But we have something different. We are Israel. We are going to play harder, and that's how we are going to win."

In recent years Hollywood has released films such as Munich, Defiance, American Gangster and Inglourious Basterds in which the main characters are aggressive, physical and Jewish. "It used to be that tough Jewish actors had to play Italians because nobody believed Jews could be that way," said Rich Cohen, author of Tough Jews. "James Caan played Sonny Corleone. Henry Winkler played Arthur Fonzarelli. Jewish characters always had to be the nebbish sidekick—the doctor, the lawyer, the banker, the accountant. There is a very different image of Jewish men in the world right now."

Omri Casspi plays a small role in the evolution, a seventh man in Sacramento trying to establish himself in the NBA, willing to throw a few elbows if that's what it takes. His physicality is part of his appeal, along with his sense of service. On Nov. 17 the Kings lost to the Bulls by 14 points, and Casspi scored only two baskets. But after the game he stood patiently on the court, posing for pictures with the Pollack and Gonzalez families, members of the Mosaic Law Congregation who that night had waved Shimon Casspi's flags. Being the first Israeli in the NBA comes with a responsibility to meet the local rabbis and hit the community Hanukkah parties. More important, though, it comes with the responsibility to keep fighting when everyone else is asleep.

Colt McCoy Blames God for Injury

As we often see in postgame interviews, winners credit God for their performance. But very rarely do we hear losers blame the loss on God. Except for Texas quarterback Colt McCoy who was injured on the fifth play of the Citi BCS National Championship game:

"I've given college football the best I've had for the last four years," McCoy said. "Every player's dream is to play on a stage like that and have an opportunity like that. I could have never imagined this would happen. I'll never question God. I'm a man of faith. I've never questioned why. But, yes, I'm truly disappointed because I would have made a huge difference."

It seems to me he is clearly saying that God caused his shoulder injury but as a man of faith he is not going to ask why God ruined his college career and his life.

Playoff Predictions

Since most of us need a mulligan on our preseason picks (only Reissberg and Focks have both their Super Bowl teams in the playoffs), let's see if we can do any better from here.

Wild Card:
New York Jets over Cincinnati Bengals
Dallas Cowboys over Philadelphia Eagles
Green Bay Packers over Arizona Cardinals
New England Patriots over Baltimore Ravens

Divisional round:
Indianapolis Colts over New York Jets
San Diego Chargers over New England Patriots
New Orleans Saints over Green Bay Packers
Dallas Cowboys over Minnesota Vikings

Conference Championships:
Dallas Cowboys over New Orleans Saints [corrected]
San Diego Chargers over Indianapolis Colts

Super Bowl:
San Diego Chargers 27 Dallas Cowboys 17

Weekly Picks

Ok, so I had a terrible regular season I was due after some pretty good years. Plus this is the playoffs. This is where you make your money.

new york jets +2 CINCINNATI
I hate to go with what seems like the common consensus here but I just have a feeling about the Jets. I don’t think they have the potential to be this year’s surprising Wild Card team that makes the Super Bowl but I do like them against the Bengals here. After a series of disastrous performances by Mark Sanchez I think the Jets have calibrated a game plan that can use their top running game and their top ranked defense and take the game completely out of Sanchez’s hands. Remember the Bengals passing game is no great shakes either.

DALLAS -4 philadelphia
Don’t believe the hype. It’s hard to beat a team three times in a season, it’s harder to beat a team that’s better than you in the playoffs on the road. For the record 19 times teams a team has had the chance to beat another team 3 times in one season. They did it 12 times. That’s 63%. I’ll take those odds. The Tony Romo – Donovan McNabb factor is very volatile though. Both of these quarterbacks have shown the ability to flame out spectacularly especially in the playoffs. I’d like to see Donovan win the Super Bowl to shut up the obnoxious Philly fans but I don’t think this is his year.

green bay +1 ½ ARIZONA
I hate to be picking all three teams that won last week to win again but that’s just what I see when I look at these games. Green Bay has a better defense and I think Rodgers can match Warner throw for throw. I also don’t think Arizona will be a sleeper two years in a row.

BEST BET
NEW ENGLAND -3 baltimore
I know there is a lot working against the Patriots here including Tom Brady’s nicks and Wes Welker injuries but I won’t bet against the Patriots at home in playoffs as long as Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are prominently involved. But my real guess is that the Pats win by a field goal and royally screw me.

Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 36-49 (35 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (8-9)
Home Favorites: 0-0 (7-13)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-2)
Road Favorites: 2-1 (16-16)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (12-17)
Road Pickem: 0-0 (0-1)

Somewhere Joe Buck is Laughing

Troubled comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt. Lange's frantic mom called 911 after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found him bleeding. Lange sustained six "hesitation wounds" and three deep plunges. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding.


I really don't think Artie Lange is funny at all and I especially didn't think his stint on Joe Buck Live deserved all the attention it got. Any 12 year-old boy could have said "you're gay and your favorite website is suckingcock.com." Nothing smart or clever or funny about that.

How I Met Your Mother Turns 100

The 100th episode of "How I Met Your Mother" airs on Monday and it features a 2 and a half minute song and dance number with 65 dancers and a 50 piece orchestra.



I don't like spoilers but I will say the song is in praise of the suit, after a girl Barney tries to bang doesn't like men who wear them.


Note: Anyone who took a class at Syracuse taught by Professor Bob Thompson surely knows 100 episodes is the former benchmark a show needed to reach before it could be syndicated. In the 100th episode of "St. Elsewhere" a patient named Cindy Cation survived 100 episodes of angina.

The Future of Sports Gambling

Interesting New York Times article about the future of Las Vegas sportsbooks.
A casino in Henderson, Nevada is experimenting with eDecks, handheld devices that allow you to bet on sporting events from anywhere in the casino (yeah, you still have to be in the casino) avoiding the window and the betting slips.
Similar devices are already in use at the Venetian and the Palazzo.
But the coolest part of this: being able to bet on a single event within a game. Imagine how much money we could make betting on: David Wright will strike out with the bases loaded and one out.

Two Milestones

This is the 5000th post in the history of the Poop.
Not bad for a blog that's a little more than 4 years old (can't believe I missed Poop Day this year. It's November 3rd, remind me next year assholes, send me a card, or an e-card, how hard could that be?).

Here are the number of posts made in each of the 4 full years:

2006: 1631
2007: 1356
2008: 1047
2009: 647

That's a major decline of 38% from 2008. Basically I just don't have the time, so I am lot more discerning with what I post. I've looked at old posts from 2006 and I wouldn't bother reading half that stuff now. But the blog is definitely a lot worse now. Stuff is old, or not published at all. Sometimes it's dark for days at a time if I don't have time to prep stuff to autopost. And readership by real people is down too. I'd say right now we only have about 15-20 real Poopheads.

But there is one thing that's way up: the number of hits. Via google searches for various things, the Poop is getting more hits and page views than ever. In fact, that's the second milestone. We recently passed half a million page views (as calculated by Google) in the history of the Poop.

He Would Have Beaten Texas if Healthy

Nebraska quarterback Zac Lee will have surgery on his throwing arm to repair an injury that he’s been playing with most of the season.

Throughout this season, the junior quarterback had a significant tear develop to a tendon on his throwing elbow after injuring his wrist in the Arkansas State game.

“I guess from favoring (my wrist) or something like that, I have what you would call a fairly extensive tear on my flexor tendon,” Lee said. “It’s just been something you have to play with, something you have to function with. It’s just a decent amount of pain in the elbow when you throw.”

Lee did not go public with the injury until after the Holiday Bowl domination of Arizona. Lee went 13 for 23 with 173 yards including a 74-yard touchdown pass to Niles Paul. Lee added 65 yards rushing and another TD in Nebraska's 33-0 win.

“In the course of the season you’re going to get hurt. Things are going to happen. I just didn’t want it to be an excuse,” Lee said. “I didn’t want it to distract from what we were trying to accomplish as a team. Our media, our fans, it would have been a wildfire if it came out during the season.”



It usually takes about 10 to 12 weeks for a player to start throwing after such surgery.

Which brings us to spring practice. Lee may or may not be ready by then. It’s no secret the coaching staff wants Cody Green to win the job. He’s their recruit, Zac was recruited by the previous administration. They want to run the option, Green is faster. Problem is, Zac is a pretty good game manager, Green is mistake prone.

If the only game you watched Nebraska play all year was against Texas then you probably don’t agree with my take on Lee, but if you saw him play all season you will know he has potential and if given the chance to run an offense where passing is for more than just third and long, than he could take a team with a defense as good as Nebraska’s a really long way.

I Prefer MoveOn.Org

A new political action committee is running ads this week touting a college football playoff system in the markets of two undefeated teams who were bypassed for the national championship.

Playoff PAC says it will run the 30-second ads in Dallas-Fort Worth and Boise, Idaho, where TCU and Boise State are located. The ads also will run in Salt Lake City, where fans are still angry that undefeated Utah didn't get to play in last season's title game despite going undefeated.



Matt Sanderson, one of the founders of Playoff PAC, said the size of the TV ad buy will depend on the response the group gets in the next few days, but that the group will definitely run TV ads.

"It matters when they exclude teams like this from the national championship not just because it denies fans bragging rights, but because there are significant institutional benefits that come with that," Sanderson said, such as funding and boosts in admission.


Enough already. Enjoy the college season for what it is, a year-long tournament where in most cases the best two teams play in the end to settle the championship on the field. This year is a bad example because of five undefeateds but that never happens and usually we get a great, meaningful, exciting regular season followed by a one-game championship between the two best teams.

New Year's Eve With the Poops

First we wore silly hats and glasses. I completely wasted $10 on these but I got sucked in by the persuasive salesman on 32nd street. I should have smelled the hat before I bought it (the way The Concierge does with hotel rooms) because it did not come from a smoke-free environment. The thing smelled so bad we had to put it out in the sunroom because it made the whole house smell. And unlike the glasses which can be worn for only one day the hat just says “Happy New Year” so if we can kill the odor we can keep it for next year.




Then we counted down to noon with our friends. And we tried to take a picture but the boys wouldn’t sit still and wouldn’t leave their hats on and the girls were sitting like perfect angels and getting very mad at the boys for ruining every picture.





And then we had a big cookie.



We also watched "The Hangover" and Dick Clark and Mrs. Poop got furious when he screwed up the countdown and she hopes they don't roll him out there again next year.

Song of the Week

"What Would You Do?" - City High

I Bet This is What Chrissy Popadics Johnson Majored In

At most colleges, athletes are hidden in the communication program, but Boise State has done them one better. During last night's Tostitos Fiesta Bowl Fox's graphics indicated Jeron Johnson is a "cummunication" major.

Why the Mets Suck By Rob Neyer

You've read my thoughts on Why the Mets Suck now ESPN's Rob Neyer has his own version.

Neyer, a gifted baseball mind, expresses similar thoughts but in a more detached, well-reasoned manner. But the point is the same, the Mets are going about everything all wrong.

"A bit of (seeming) trivia from Jeff Passan: before Omar Minaya signed Jason Bay, he traded him for Lou Collier ... and before the Mets signed Jason Bay, they traded him (and Bobby Jones and Josh Reynolds) for Steve Reed (and Jason Middlebrook).

What does it all mean? Well, to Passan it means that Minaya and the Mets, once again, are valuing the wrong end of the talent/salary scale ...

All of this highlights an endemic problem with the Mets that they try to cover with their payrolls, which provided among the highest cost per win in baseball this past decade: Their player-development system is a mess, and not the kind of mess a toddler makes at dinner. It is whole-cafeteria-food-fight bad, and in that respect, the coupling of Minaya and the Mets seems perfectly matrimonious.

Together, they have spent hundreds of millions to go backward. There was the ill-fated Pedro Martinez deal. And the on-deathbed-ill-fated contract for Oliver Perez. They blew money ($25 million on Luis Castillo. They lavished it ($37 million in a closer-loaded market for Francisco Rodriguez, with an easily attainable $17.5 million option). They spent themselves out of all the good will engendered by the tremendously club-friendly contracts for David Wright and Jose Reyes.

Wright and Reyes represent the only worthwhile thing the Mets can call their own. Since 1985, the Mets have signed and developed five players who later wore their uniforms in an All-Star game. Five. Wright, Reyes, Todd Hundley, Edgardo Alfonzo and Bobby Jones. Even Kansas City can say it has passed eight homegrown All-Stars through its system.

Paul's note: this stat is complete bullshit since the Royals have to send a representative every year and since they have no high-priced talent some cheap guy from their minor leagues has to go.

--snip--

Still, it speaks to the team’s recognition that baseball trades in a new currency -- youth -- and that the Mets always arrive late to the party of the latest trend. New York spent $3.1 million on the amateur draft in 2009. It was the lowest figure in the game. Ramping up their spending in Latin America -- which has netted them their three top prospects, Fernando Martinez(notes), Jenrry Mejia and Wilmer Flores -- doesn’t excuse going skinflint stateside.

To compensate, they dole out dollars in the most inefficient market: free agency. Bay hits for power and he gets on base and he fits into a clubhouse well, and every team desires such a player. He’s also 31. Defensive metrics and scouts agree he’s a massive liability in left field. He was obviously blanching at playing for the Mets and in the massive Citi Field, or he wouldn’t have spent more than two weeks spelunking for another offer before taking New York’s.

--snip--

The Bay signing is reminiscent, in a way, of the last time the Mets reached these depths. Following a 91-loss season in 2004, the Mets brought in a past-his-prime Martinez for $55 million, then made the splash of the offseason by signing Carlos Beltran to a $119 million contract.

--snip--

“I call it the New Mets,” Beltran said, “because this organization is going to a different direction, the right direction, the direction of winning.”

The New Mets never arrived. They were on the cusp of the World Series in 2006 and couldn’t capitalize. The Santana trade didn’t reinvigorate them. Scant reinforcements from the farm system arrived. Signings blew up. And ultimately, nothing changed.

They’re just the same old Mets. The same old mess.

In fairness, after bringing in past-his-prime Pedro and signing Carlos Beltran, the Mets did average 89 wins over the next four seasons. There were the best team in the National League in 2006, and were (arguably) the best team in the National League East, on paper anyway, entering each of the next three seasons (yes, even 2009). Thanks to the Phillies and any number of other things, it just didn't work out that way.

Still, it's a bit shocking that the Mets have developed only five All-Stars in the past quarter-century. And that only one of them was a pitcher. And that the pitcher was Bobby Jones. It's also a bit shocking that the Mets, who had the second-highest payroll in the majors in 2009, spent less money than anyone else in the draft.

Granted, they'd given up their first-round pick by signing Francisco Rodriguez. And they really have upped their investment in international talent. But when are the results going to show up in the majors? As Baseball America's Adam Rubin notes, just one of the Mets' domestic minor-league teams finished 2009 with a winning record, and the system's .451 winning percentage was the second-worst in baseball.

Minaya has been the Mets' general manager for five years. Wright and Reyes were in the pipeline before he arrived. He's spent a lot of money, but bought just one playoff appearance. At some point soon, it will be fair to ask some tough questions."

When Jury Duty Doesn't Seem So Bad

Hustler founder Larry Flynt is suing his two nephews claiming they ruined his business by putting out inferior product using the Flynt name.
The nephews worked for Flynt for a long time but when he fired them they launced their own company, FLYNT Media.
In order to decide the case the four women and four men of the mostly middle-aged jury viewed photos of some of the nephews' DVD boxes. Images of naked, well-endowed women on the front and people in all sorts of contortions on the back were flashed on a giant-screen TV right next to them.

The jury decided the nephews had infringed on Larry Flynt's trademark and they will now be required to use their first names on their porn moives.

What Do You Say?

The new year is presenting a new challenge. What do we call this thing?
Some people are opting for "twenty-ten" while others prefer "two-thousand-ten". What do you say?

Weekly Picks

Obviously I stink this year so I hope you aren't using these picks for anything other than picking the opposite. One note of caution, I guarantee this week a couple teams that need to win to make the playoffs will lose to teams that have nothing to play for.

atlanta -1 1/2 TAMPA BAY
I know the Bucs beat New Orleans last week, but they still suck.

kansas city +10 DENVER
I just have no confidence in the Broncos right now.

chicago -3 DETROIT
Maybe Jay Cutler figured something out last week.

philadelphia +3 DALLAS
Would be cool if we could get this matchup again next week. There's a possibility three of next week's four games could be rematches from this week.

BEST BET
tennessee -6 SEATTLE
I think the Titans will play hard to try to get 2,000 yards for Chris Johnson.


Last week: 0-5 (-1 points)
Season: 33-47 (33 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (8-8)
Home Favorites: 0-3 (7-13)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-2)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (14-15)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (11-16)
Road Pickem: 0-0 (0-1)

New Year, New T-Shirts

The other day I clicked on the ad on this blog (possibly a violation of my Terms of Service agreement) and was led to an hilarious t-shirt store. It got me thinking about shirts that would be appropriate for several Poopheads to wear in 2010:

TON:


Courtney Friel:


Me:


Freedo:


Nails:


VW:


Master Bates:


Amber:


Mrs. Poop:


The Concierge:


Anonymous hot girlfriend wife of anonymous Poophead (look down if you think I'm talking about you)


Me:


Juice:


And a shirt so fantastic, so digusting and so offensive I couldn't even put its picture on this blog: click here if you dare.

Note: if you didn't get a t-shirt dedicated to you make it your New Year's resolution to have more personality in 2010.

Game of the Decade

Ten years from now when we do decade recaps again I have a feeling the Outback Bowl from the first day of this decade will still be talked about.
It featured one of the craziest finishes ever where each team seemed a lock to win until:
Northwestern scores to cut the lead to 35-27 --- and the extra point is blocked.

Auburn recovers the ensuing onside kick --- and fumbles on the next play.

Auburn sacks Northwestern QB Mike Kafka on 4th down --- and gets called for a 15-yard face mask.

Northwestern scores on the next play and gets a 2-point conversion to tie it.

Auburn fumbles the kickoff and gives it back to Northwestern with a minute to play.

Northwestern drives to the 27-yard line --- and misses the field goal as time expires.

Auburn kicks a field goal on their possession in the first OT then sacks Kafka who fumbles, Auburn recovers, rushes the the field --- and the replay shows Kafka was down.

On 3rd and 24 Kafka hits a 10-yard completion to set up a 37-yard field goal --- and the kicker misses again --- but an Auburn player rolls over his leg for a penalty and a first down.

Northwestern drives to the 5 and on 4th down sets up for a field goal --- but the kicker was hurt on the previous penalty and a backup comes on --- but instead of trusting the backup Northwestern tries a fake field --- and gets stopped on the 2.

Auburn finally wins, at least the fourth time they thought they had it wrapped up. Amazing ending, everything that could possibly happen did.

And Northwestern QB Mike Kafka ends the day completing 47 of 78 passes for 532 yards, 4 touchdowns and 5 interceptions. A performance that can only be described as Kafka-esque.

Everything is Amazing and Nobody's Happy

An amazing routine by Juice's favorite comedian Louis CK on Conan from earlier in 2009. It's a perfect, and hysterical look at what is going on in our world.


And maybe in 2010 we can think of this and laugh instead of complaining when our internet goes down, or our high-definition TVs don't work or our Chardonnay is not chilled to our liking.

We all have it pretty good and I think it would serve us well to remember that a little more this year.

Happy New Year

I was driving earlier when the snow was really coming down and the roads hadn't really been plowed yet. I thought to myself "wow, this is pretty bad, maybe I shouldn't drive through this."
When I left to come home a couple hours later the sun was shining all the snow that had previously made my path dangerous was gone and there was nothing but clear road ahead.

Isn't that a microcosm for life? There will be storms, they will seem difficult if not impossible when you're going through them, but when you get to the other side you will realize a) that didn't last very long and b) it wasn't so bad and c) the road ahead of you is wide open.

To me that sounds like a good resolution for the New Year: don't let anything get in the way of where you want to go.

"Here's to the New Year. May she be a damned sight better than the old one and may we all be home before she's over."

Best wishes to all my Poopheads for a happy and healthy 2010.

Syracuse 80 Seton Hall 73

My trip to the Rock to see #5 Syracuse play Seton Hall was a success, because Syracuse won as most Poopheads predicted, but we’ll get to the game later, first I’ll describe the other events of the evening.

Trying to meet up with Nails in Newark, a city neither of us has been to very often, was actually pretty easy. What did people do before cell phones? How did you ever meet up with someone at a ballpark or arena? Maybe part of the reason I didn’t see him was that he was completely bundled up so that the only things showing were his eyes. He was dressed for an Antarctic expedition when all we were doing was walking two blocks.

When we got inside we noticed some people taking pictures next to the Seton Hall Butt Pirate mascot. But one of the picture takers happened to be 7-foot-2. It’s about that time I realized it was Luther Wright. I guess we should have talked to him or at least shouted words of encouragement, but I was trying to get a picture which he ruined by continually stepping out of the shot. Not sure why Nails didn’t offer any words of encouragement, I mean the poor guy has been to hell and back.



We actually had pretty decent seats, row 12 behind the basket. I don’t think it was actually the 12th row since there were some temporary seats and we were a little too close to the middle of the section – and therefore obstructed by the basket at times, but for $25 tickets, they were really excellent.



But the guys next to me didn’t think so. Two older Seton Hall fans (I think they were the only two who remember Frank “Pep” Saul when the old-timer was recognized not once, but twice during the game) were constantly complaining about the fans in front of them standing. It began with the regular Syracuse tradition of standing and clapping until the first basket of each half. Then it continued, even after that so they called over an usher who told them the student section (which was in front of us) is allowed to stand during the games and everyone else stands because the people in front of them are standing. But they didn't let it die with that, when the cute girl in front of them put up her arms during a free throw, the old guy freaked out started yelling at her, her brother and father stepped in. I tried to calm him by telling him it was only a free throw. He said it was bad enough she was standing the entire game, but she exasperated (yes he said exasperated) the situation by holding up her arms so he couldn't even see the scoreboard monitor.

But he wasn't the only one behaving boorishly in our section. After a controversial intentional foul was called on Seton Hall Nails screamed "that's fuckin bullshit!" That caused the 8-year-old seated in front of us and his father to turn around and stare in bewilderment at Nails. When I alerted Nails to his breach of arena etiquette he said "that's not his seat, get him out of here!"

Nails was happy to have in our section a few cute girls who must have been students on break who call the Northern New Jersey area home. One of them a few rows up had scissored a simple t-shirt to convert it into a sexy off-the-shoulder look. As far as basketball game attire goes I think she achieved her desired level of sluttiness.

There was a game going on as well, and SU won, 80-73. One downside to attending games is I feel overstimulated and I don't think I pay attention as thoroughly as I do at home. This is the main reason I keep score at baseball games, to sharpen my focus on the action.

But here's what I do know: Seton Hall's Jeremy Hazell is a gunner. In each of the last two games he has taken 31 shots and leads the Big East with a conference play scoring average of 39.5. Even though his efficiency is low, Hazell pretty much single-handedly kept the Hall in this game when no one else could make a bucket. He also has huge ears.



As for Syracuse, it probably was their worst performance of the season. Defense wasn't great and Seton Hall got a ton of offensive rebounds, 23 according to the box score.

SU turned the ball over way too much -- 20 times -- half of those by Rautins and Triche and most of them on ill-advised high-risk passes. Triche and Jardine have combined to be a great duo to replace Jonny Flynn precisely because of the smart passing and low turnover total. That's something they need to get back to.

Rick Jackson didn't have a good game. After Onuaku exposed weakness in Seton Hall's interior D in the first half, SU stopped going insde.

Seton Hall did a good job sticking on Rautins and preventing him from getting open 3s.

Wesley Johnson was awesome, he does everything a team needs to win, in this one he grabbed 19 rebounds.

Kris Joseph also had a great second half, scoring on some big runouts and hitting 8 of 9 from the line despite being only a 64% shooter coming in.

The one thing that stood out most for me was SU's aggressiveness late in the game with the lead. In the past I have killed Boeheim for telling his team to sit on the ball with small leads and too much time on the clock. I've always advocated waiting until 15 seconds remained on the shot clock to start looking for a good shot. Several times SU jacked up quick shots and it almost proved to be to their detriment, but good free throw shooting down the stretch sealed the deal.

This was a game of runs (Seton Hall 27-9 in the first half which SU answered with a 14-2 before the half, then Seton Hall had a mini 6-0 run from a tie game, and SU scored the next 15 to put the game away) which made it fun for both sides. But more fun for the Orange, since we won.

My Favorite Soups

1. Grandma's Chicken Soup
This has been and will always be number one on my list. An impossible to duplicate combination of Grandma's love and her secret ingredient. Though I recently learned she used a small pot and made only half a batch. Still the best soup I've ever tasted.

2. Shaw Dining Hall's Beef Barley
You might be surprised to find a Uinversity's dining hall's soup on this list but if you've ever warmed your belly with it on a cold Syracuse day, you'd understand. But you have to get there before Josh because he had a bad habit of filling up a ladle then spilling the liquid out the side, giving himself a delicious stewy portion while leaving behind a watery mess.

3. Golden's Mushroom Barley
Fitting to the delicatessen's name this soup has a golden color not often found in mushroom barley soups. The thick cut mushrooms and thick consistency of the soup make this the better choice than its chicken noodle. But the chicken noodle does have the better menu description. It is listed as "Therapeutic Chicken Noodle (It Couldn't Hurt)". Because of that clever description I often refer to things with no downside as being like Golden's Chicken Soup.

4. Mem's Turkey Noodle
This new contender entered my list only recently thanks to a delicious batch whipped up using the carcass from the Christmas turkey. What made the most recent effort so good was the combination of cold temperatures (both outside and inside Mem and Poppy's house), the use of a very meaty carcass (not just bare bones) and Mem's decision not to skim the fat off the top (though not healthy Mem knows I like a fatty soup). A couple of caveats here: don't serve it too hot (poor Poppy almost burned his tongue) and don't give toddlers the liquid, just the carrots, noodles and meat ("spilled soup on mine bib mommy").

5. Outback’s Potato Soup
Outback is known for its steaks, its Bloomin Onions but not its soup. That should change. This delicious creamy soup comes with melted cheese, bacon and chives on top .

6. Panera Bread Baked Potato Soup in a bread bowl
The soup itself isn’t quite as good as Outback’s and it doesn’t have the bacon or cheese. But what puts it on this list is the bread bowl. The sourdough bread has a nice hard, crusty outside, and a delectable fresh inside made even better when it’s soggy from the soup. But beware because sometimes they don’t scoop out enough of the inside and you hardly get any soup, just a doughy bowl to eat.

7. The Manor’s lobster bisque
I haven’t been there in a long time but I still remember the lobster bisque, which had real chunks of lobster meat. Most Manor-goers forgo any kind of appetizer or pre-main course food in an effort to save room for lobster tails. But I was always shrewd enough to start with a bowl of bisque before diving into the seafood smorgasbord.

8. New England Clam Chowder in a bread bowl at the Big E
Now this one is a little tricky because as you can imagine, the state fair for all the New England states has more than one purveyor of the region’s favorite soup. I don’t recall the particular one I had, I just know that bread bowl wasn’t that great, but the soup was delicious.

9. Mrs. Poop’s Minestrone
A relatively new addition to our menu but another nice one for a cold day. It’s a very hearty soup with a lot of beans and other vegetables. Only problem, if you plan to have more than one bowl you really need a pre-emptive beano or you will be gassy all day.

10. Mama Poop’s Chicken Soup
An all-time favorite. 10th place is not high enough for the soup I basically grew up. I think this is the soup that made this entire list possible but I place it 10th maybe because I’ve had it so many times it no longer seems special to me.

Song of the Week

"Don't Let It Go To Your Head" - Brand Nubian

Good advice for the new year.
May we all have many achievements that could inflate our egos -- but don't.

Syracuse vs. Seton Hall Predictions

Tonight #5 Syracuse (12-0) plays Seton Hall (9-2) at the Prudential Center in Newark. Nails and I are going, and rooting for different teams. Syracuse is favored by 2 1/2 points. What will happen?

A Career at the TSA Doesn't Look So Bad Right Now

Richard Reid attempted to blow up a plane in 2001 with a bomb in his shoe. He became known as the "shoe bomber" and since then airline passengers have been forced to take off their shoes while going through security.

On Christmas Day Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab tried to blow up a plane with a bomb in his underpants.



TSA workers may soon be saying "let me see that thong" to female passengers.

DVRs Are Not the Enemy

I have always said "you can't stand in the way of progress," particularly when it comes to technology. Over the years entertainment companies have tried to fight advancements they thought would kill their revenue streams.
Two examples come to mind: single-track music purchasing (downloading) and the DVR.
The companies that realize these trends are coming eventually get out in front and take over (like Apple) the ones that don't fall behind.
But as iTunes reenergized music, the DVR isn't killing TV, it's helping it.

Here's why:
-46% of people still watching commercials, even during recorded programs, according to Nielsen
-DVRs allow people to watch more than one show at once, and allow people to watch shows that are on when they are not home, or doing some other activity
-For the average prime-time network show, DVR viewers (Nielsen only counts those viewed within three days) add 10% to ratings, as much as 20% for some programs
-A surprising number of DVR users still watch shows live as they air

Some other cool DVR stats:
-33% of households have a DVR, up 5% from last year
-Fox gets the biggest boost from DVRs of the four networks
-"House" is the top show as far as DVR ratings, "The Office" and "Heroes" also get big boosts in ratings from DVR users
-Only 6 - 8% of non-DVR users flip during commericials

Part of the reason "The Jay Leno Show" is getting disappointing ratings on NBC at 10 pm is because people aren't DVRing the show very much, because the humor is topical and it's on every night

Note: Nielsen now measures ratings based on who is watching the commercials, not the actual show

How Was This Not the Biggest Story in the Country?

I recently heard a story that I could not believe I missed when it came out a few months ago. Maybe I just missed it, but someone exposed to as much news as I am probably should have heard this one, unless the liberal media covered it up.

The White House released its visitor logs for the first 6 months of the Obama Presidency. The names William Ayers and Jeremiah Wright were both on the list. Ok, annoying, but no huge deal. But wait, there's more. The White House says it's not the William Ayers or Jeremiah Wright you are thinking of. The people who visited the White House are different people with the same names.

No I am not making this up.
It was reported by ABC News, the Washington Post, the New York Times and even the White House's own website.


The Obama Administration has promised to be the most transparent administration ever. Now, I expect all administrations to lie, to cover stuff up (and no this is nowhere near as bad as lying about a reason to go to war) but it is insulting to the American people to feed us this blatant lie and expect us to buy it. I can't imagine even the most ardent liberal Poophead buying this "same name, different person" story.

As we learned with Watergate, it's not the infraction that kills you, it's the cover-up, I guess that's unless you have the entire news media rooting for your success.

Weekly Picks

Another decent weak thanks to some good luck and good coaching by Mike McCarthy and Mike Tomlin. I could have done even better had Arizona not pooped the bed against Detroit. But typical of my season, I said the Raiders had a chance to cover because JaMarcus Russell wasn't playing, then the guy comes in and wins the game. Anyway, I meant to pick San Diego this week but was too late, so we'll go with these five games.

baltimore +2 1/2 PITTSBURGH
Roethlisberger won't be able to pass for 500 yards against the Ravens and the Steelers have major problems on defense.

MIAMI -3 houston
The Texans lose every single close game.

INDIANAPOLIS -5 1/2 ny jets
I think the Colts are going to be a little more aggressive going after this 16-0 season than most people think. I think Manning stays in the game long enough to put up at least 21 points which should be enough.

minnesota -7 CHICAGO
If the Vikings don't bounce back in this game Brett Favre would be reaching T.O. levels of team destruction through arrogance and selfishness. Because I think Favre is a little better than that, and the Bears defense is terrible, I expect him to have a good game here.

BEST BET
PHILADELPHIA -7 denver
I have no confidence in the Broncos right now, they are 8-6 after a 6-0 start and those wins came against the Giants and Chiefs. Meanwhile, the Eagles are killing people and have a chance to pass the Vikings.


Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 33-42 (34 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (8-7)
Home Favorites: 0-1 (7-10)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-2)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (14-14)
Road Underdogs: 3-0 (11-15)
Road Pickem: 0-0 (0-1)

Luther Wright Has His Life...But Not His Toes Back

A couple years ago I posted the sad story of former Seton Hall center Luther Wright. The link is worth clicking just for Mrs. Poop's insensitive comment.

Now AOL has a Luther Wright update that updates us on the 8-toed big man's life now.

Joseph Isn't Good in the Sack

A controversial billboard from a church in New Zealand claims to "challenge stereotypes" about the birth of Jesus Christ.



St Matthew-in-the-City Church in Auckland, which erected the billboard, said it had intended to provoke debate.

But the Catholic Church, among others, has condemned it as "inappropriate" and "disrespectful".

Within hours of its unveiling, the billboard had been defaced with brown paint.

The church's vicar, Archdeacon Glynn Cardy, said the aim of the billboard had been to lampoon the literal interpretation of the Christmas conception story.

"What we're trying to do is to get people to think more about what Christmas is all about. Is it about a spiritual male God sending down sperm so a child would be born, or is it about the power of love in our midst as seen in Jesus?"

But Lyndsay Freer, spokeswoman for the Catholic Diocese of Auckland, said the poster was offensive to Christians.

"Our Christian tradition of 2,000 years is that Mary remains a virgin and that Jesus is the son of God, not Joseph," she told the New Zealand Herald. "Such a poster is inappropriate and disrespectful."

I hope all had a very Merry Christmas.

Bo Obama Barks at Santa Claus

Michelle Obama is trying to read stories to children and Bo interrupting by warning the strange man in the red suit to back away from his family.



As much I love Bo that little ham Sasha is still my favorite Obama.

Merry Christmas Mets Fans

From Omar Minaya to you New York Mets fans, R.A. Dickey, heretofore referred to on this blog as U.R.A. Dickey.



On a related note: any fantasy baseball league that wants me as a member must institure a new rule. All but the last place owner shall contribute money to buy the last place team's owner an R.A. Dickey Mets jersey. It's sort of like Pizza Parlor Derek's paper bag but funnier.

The way this offseason is going for the Mets I can totally see Holliday going to the Red Sox, Bay to the Yankees and the Mets are left with nothing but Carlos Delgado and Pedro Martinez. Both of whom we will bitch about when they get hurt next year. I can't believe Omar missed the boat on Marquis and Vazquez.

Song of the Week

"Merry Christmas from the Family" - Robert Earl Keen

In the South, when radio stations do their Christmas marathons, this song plays once an hour.

Best NFL Films Mic'ed Up Sound Ever

NFL Films is pretty much the best thing ever, for 40 years it's been providing incredible access to NFL sidelines. NFL Films Presents is pretty much the best, most underrated show on TV right.
When Steve Sabol calls the clip of Matt Stafford getting hurt then coming back on the field as the Lions beat the Browns 38-37 the most dramatic sound NFL Films ever got, he is not exaggerating.

Chase's Hero is a Male Chauvinist Pig

Turns out Mrs. Poop and I (and especially Mama Poop) have spent hundreds of dollars turning Chase into a misogynistic, right-wing autocrat.



According to a new study by Professor Shauna Wilton at the University of Alberta, Augustana, female characters are few and far between and the few female trains on the Island of Sodor are marginalized.
Wilton analyzed 23 episodes of “Thomas and Friends” and found only 8 female characters, compared to 41 males.
"The female characters do tend to be a bit sidelined," Wilton says. "The show comes out of a particularly historical time period when society was hierarchical and there was a blind following of authority. I want my daughter to think for herself."
The global Thomas brand of books, video games, movies and a TV series had its beginnings in 1943, when the Rev. Wilbert Awdry in Birmingham, England, started making up stories for his son, Christopher. His 26-book series recreated his boyhood fantasies of talking steam engines outside his home village of Box in Wiltshire.
Wilton concedes Thomas does include some valuable but messages but those messages include a "conservative political ideology that punishes individual initiative, opposes critique and change, and relegates females to supportive roles."
Only Emily, the first female steam engine, is part of the core "steam team," and she didn't arrive in the TV series until the seventh season.
Indeed, descriptions of those characters range from the coaches Annie and Clarabelle, who are old and faithful, to Emily, who is bossy and difficult to work with, to Mavis, an unreliable, feisty young diesel engine that had a lot to learn.
Daisy, the snobbish and highly strung diesel railcar, has been discontinued, and Henrietta, the faceless passenger coach, was nearly turned into a henhouse by the station master. The peripheral Rosie idolizes Thomas and mimics him. And like Rosie, Lady is smaller than the rest of the engines, particularly in comparison to burly Gordon.




I contacted Professor Wilton to ask for the entire study which I received and read. I've broken down her complaints about the show into three categories.

1) The male-female dynamic. Wilton has a point here. The show’s characters are mainly males and the few females in the cast are smaller physically or dependent on the males, as is the case for Annie and Clarabel. But that doesn’t mean something nefarious is going on here. I think it’s ok for kid’s show to have a majority of male characters, or more female characters but if her point is that not only are there fewer females, but they’re also marginalized, I can see that.
2) The show breeds a fear of authority. Wilton claims the show’s reverence for Sir Topham Hatt, the conductor of the railroad, discourages children from challenging authority. Once again she has the right information but draws the wrong conclusion. Sir Topham Hatt runs the railroad on the Island of Sodor, the engines should listen to him and take his word as law. I think, and I’m sure most parents and teachers would agree, respect for authority is an important lesson to teach kids. And if they need to learn to challenge those sacred figures it would probably be pretty easy to pick that up later in life.



3) The class system. Once again, Wilton’s analysis is absolutely right: there is class warfare between Thomas and the other steam engines (“steamies”) and the Diesel engines. But once again this doesn’t teach kids to be racists, it causes conflict which any TV show or story needs, and in the end is usually resolved with everyone working together and realizing each other’s usefulness.

In short Thomas may be a sexist pig who teaches children not to question and authority and to reject anyone different than them, but we already spent too much money on these damn toys to take them away now.

Where Does the UFC Go From Here?

BJ Penn's total destruction of Diego Sanchez exposed 2 things:

1) Sanchez's skull

Here's a couple pictures of Diego Sanchez's nasty cut:




2) A major problem in the UFC right now

The champions in all five weight classes are just too good, no one can touch them.

Lightweight: BJ Penn (five straight wins as a lightweight) didn't just beat Diego Sanchez and Kenny Florian he dominated them. As the great Joe Rogan pointed out, who at 155 now can be expected to challenge Penn? No one. So what's next for him? Maybe a third shot at GSP? If Rogan is right and Penn is better conditioned now then maybe I could see it. If not, will Penn keep busting his ass in training to fight guys he can beat in his sleep?

Welterweight: While there are no questions about Georges St. Pierre's (6 straight wins) training habits he faces the same questions about upcoming opponents. Dan Hardy is a good striker but I don't like his chances against GSP's wrestling. GSP has a way of taking on guys who have built reputations as pit bulls and completely taking away their will to fight.

Middleweight: That's the same thing Anderson Silva (10-0 in the UFC) has done to the middleweight division. He's even had to move up to 205 to find challengers and he's embarrassed them too. But he doesn't want to fight for the title at 205 because he considers Lyoto Machida a brother.

Light Heavyweight: Machida (16-0, 8-0 in UFC) right now rules (tenuously) the deepst weight class in the UFC right now. The old veterans who just won't quit (Liddell, Ortiz, Coleman, Couture and Wanderlei) are there along with some guys who've still got it (Henderson, Evans, Shogun and maybe Griffin) as well as some young guns (Darth Bader and my personal favorite Bones Jones). But I really don't think any of them will beat Machida because if they go after him aggressively he'll counter and kill them, and if they are too patient Machida will do enough to outpoint them because he can't be hit.

Heavyweight: This is why Brock Lesnar's illness may be the best thing to happen to the UFC. No one can beat Lesnar. No one can stop his takedowns and no one can get up once he's on top of them. And because he lost that first fight to Mir by submission when he got sloppy, he is so patient and so cautious so as not to get caught again. A winning strategy, but a boring one. But without him around there are some intriguing heavyweight fighters who could put together some big bouts (Nogueira, Mir, Carwin, Velazquez) and in time maybe Roy Nelson and Stefan Struve too.

A string of uninspiring main events will likely continue into the new year and I really don't know what fight they could book to really get fans excited again.

Rap Battle: Blitzen vs. Santa

A smack-talkin Blitzen (Lupe Fiasco) calls up Santa and starts talking some mess. Santa (brilliantly voiced by KRS-One) and his buddies, the Nike Kobe and LeBron puppets aren't gonna take that.