But He Was Our Bumbling Idiot

If you grew up a Mets fan, you grew up listening to Ralph Kiner. He had been broadcasting Mets games since the very beginning. I'd like to say he was a great announcer who expertly imparted his knowledge of the game to the fans. But I don't want to lie about a guy just because he died.
Kiner will be best remembered for the funny things he said, even if he didn't actually say all of them.
The most famous of his malaprops is "It's Father's Day today, so to all you fathers out there, happy birthday."
Before he became a bumbling announcer Kiner was actually a great player posting a WAR of 7.5 or higher in 1947, 49 and 51. His career was cut short by a bad back though, he only played 10 seasons, averaging nearly 37 homers per.
Even more surprising was the fact that he was somewhat of a Playboy, rumored to have dated Janet Leigh and Elizabeth Taylor.

Rest in Peace Ralph, we'll miss you.

What's The Universe Saying With This One?

By now, most of you know that I get dinner at work every night. We have a rotation of 10 or 15 restaurants. I almost always get the same thing every time we order from a particular restaurant.

But last night I decided to switch it up and order the chicken under a brick.

It was pretty good, if a little small.

I know I have never ordered this meal before. I've never talked about it before. I'm pretty sure I'd never even heard about chicken being prepared this way.

A few hours later I decided to watch the new episode of Four Courses with JB Smoove.

The View from Row Z

Syracuse did a pretty cool thing for Saturday's game against Duke. There's a "fancam" that took a huge panoramic of the Dome in such high quality that even people in the last row, and second to last rows, can find themselves, and then tag themselves in the picture.

Here's the camera shot taken the other way (with my blackberry, no zoom)

People in really awesome seats like Pizza Parlor Derek and El Greco were in really clear high-resolution.

But no one had better seats than Arli$$ aka Robert Wuhl who inexplicably seems to be a Syracuse superfan this season, and somehow got himself front row seats right behind the scorer's table.

Song of the Week

"Stick Up" - Honey Cone
Whoever wrote this song seemed to have an unfortunate grasp of the criminal justice system. But it's an early-70s gem.

Super Bowl XLVIII Is Poop

Worst Super Bowl Ever?
It seems that nearly every year recently we debate if the just completed Super Bowl is the best ever. We don't have to have that argument this year, but this stinker certainly has a case for the worst. I'd still have to say San Francisco 55 Denver 10 is the least competitive, but this game was nearly as bad. For almost the entire game Denver could not move the ball against Seattle, nor could they stop Seattle from scoring. They gave up 4 turnovers and just played as bad a game as you can play.

Manning's Legacy
I was one of the people saying that Peyton Manning has cemented his legacy before this game. He's one of the all-time greats, and he just had one of the best seasons a quarterback has ever had leading a team to the Super Bowl for a third time. But his performance in this game was so bad, and so unlike how he normally plays that I think it's fair to reconsider whether he chokes, ok maybe not chokes, but performs poorly in big games often enough that it really is a thing and not just a random outcome or a product of facing good teams with good defenses.

Trent Dilfer Won a Super Bowl, Too
I have never been a big fan of Russell Wilson and nothing he did in this Super Bowl changed my mind. I think he is a great quarterback for this team. He very seldom makes mistakes and very often makes some great plays. But I insist that a team relying on Wilson to generate points wouldn't go very far. He needs to be on a team with a defense and a running game. That's exactly what he's got, so he's a deserving Super Bowl champion. But put him on the Redskins or the Jets, and I just don't think you get results anything like what he is doing in Seattle.

Turning Point of the Game
First play of the game, Peyton Manning comes steps up to the line, his center misinterprets the movement (just Manny being Manny), snaps the ball, it goes over his head and into the endzone for a safety. And that was it. There have been many great plays in Super Bowl history (Lynn Swann's catch, Marcus Allen's run, The Helmet Catch, etc) and there have been some memorable disasters (Garo Yepremian and Leon Lett come to mind though both of their teams won those games), but I can't think of a play as strange or as weird that had such a huge impact on a Super Bowl as this one. Based on everything else that happened I would say odds are still very high that the Broncos would have gotten creamed anyway, but after that Denver looked totally discombobulated and sunk.

Nice Super Bowl Goodell, Don't Ever Fuckin Do It Again
The NFL pulled a fast one and got away with it. They took a gamble playing a Super Bowl, outside, in a cold-weather city and it paid off. Temperatures were a comfortable 40 degrees and the weather had no influence whatsoever on the outcome or the way the game was played.

In fact, the worst part of the potential cold weather was Joe Namath's fur coat.

Note: I blame the referee for the coin toss snafu, he stepped back and stopped talking, making Broadway Joe think he was supposed to toss the coin.

If this was a one-time thing to reward the Jets and Giants and the area for building such an expensive stadium, that is ok. But if the NFL tries this again, in New York, or Chicago or worse Green Bay or Minnesota, they are courting disaster. Had Monday's snowstorm come a day earlier not only would the game have been affected, it would have been unsafe for people going to and coming home from the game. An outdoor Super Bowl in a cold-weather city worked out, once. Once!

Picture of the Week
Super Bowl MVP Malcolm Smith does a confetti angel on the field after the game.

Could This Be the Start of Something Big?
Because the Seahawks are so good and so young, and because there's a history of young Super Bowl winning teams going on to win at least one more, there is talk about whether these Seahawks could be embarking on a dynasty. I say no. The quarterback isn't good enough, the defense is great, but relies a lot on turnovers which involved a huge amount of luck, and today's NFL makes it tough with free agency (even though a lot of key players are locked up) to keep a Super Bowl winning team together. I would be surprised if the Seahawks won 2 more Super Bowls in the next 5 years.

Super Bowl Commercials

Maybe it was the quality of the game that soured me, but I can remember a single commercial that I actually liked.

"Puppy Love" - Budweiser



"Cowboy Kid" - Doritos



"Time Machine" - Doritos



"The Phone Call" - Radio Shack



"Dad's Sixth Sense" - Hyundai



"Gracie" - Cheerios



"Empowering" - Microsoft



"Going All the Way" - Coca-Cola



"The Spill" - Danon Oikos Greek Yogurt



"Nice" - Hyundai



"Doberhuahua" - Audi



"The Truth" - Kia

Kliq920: Then and Now

We went back 15 years later (with a lot more gray hair and pounds) to create this picture in front of our old stomping grounds. 8 of the original 11 were there, with 2 others added.

Weekly Picks

At least if I get this game right I will be exactly .500 for the season, which I guess isn't so bad.


Denver -2 1/2 Seattle
This matchup has been well-established as offense versus defense. And invariably when presented with those options (or hitting versus pitching) I choose defense. But I am going with my gut here and trusting in Peyton Manning. I think he has the tools and the weapons to at least move the ball, and score enough, on any defense. I think they will stay away from the outside and Seattle's great cover corners, and instead use motion and matchups to attack the heart of the defense. Russell Wilson doesn't make mistakes, and he does make plays, but I doubt his ability to make enough of them to keep up with Peyton Manning.

Last Week: 1-1 (0 pointa)
Season: 47-48 (36 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (6-14)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (20-22)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (13-11)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (13-13)

Super Bowl Prop Bets

Who cares who wins the game? What we want to know is, what color will the Gatorade be? So here are some prop bets for this year’s Super Bowl from Bovada.com:

SUPER BOWL MVP
Peyton Manning 11/10
There really is no other choice here. If the Broncos win he’s the MVP. If you believe the Broncos win slightly more than 50% of the time, this is a good bet.

Richard Sherman 20/1
Sherman is good for a long shot. The odds are way shorter than they should be because of all the hype surrounding him, but that could also increase the chances voters choose him. If Seattle win 17-10 and Sherman has a key pick, he could definitely win the award. Dexter Jackson and Larry Brown are two defensive backs who have won Super Bowl MVP Awards.

Player to Score First Touchdown
Julius Thomas 8/1
He seems to be Manning’s go-to target in the red zone. But the odds are tricky because Denver has so many weapons.

Total Passing Yards – Peyton Manning
Under 290 ½ (-125)
I think the Broncos will struggle at times in this game, especially hitting long passes. Their offense will be methodical in both passing and running games.

Total Receiving Yards – Wes Welker
Over 57 ½ (-125)
I think the Seahawks are going to clamp down on the outside receivers and I expect a lot of short passes over the middle to Welker.

Total tackles and assists – Richard Sherman
Under 3 ½ (-125)
Teams just don’t throw at him enough.

Total Sacks – Michael Bennett
Over ½ (+120)
Manning doesn’t avoid sacks with his feet, he avoids them by throwing the ball. I think we can count on at least one or two from the Seahawks and Bennett is a pretty good guess.

Who will catch a pass first? Andre Caldwell or Jermaine Kearse
Jermaine Kearse -150
Caldwell is barely even an option for Manning. Kearse is emerging as one of Wilson’s preferred targets.

Renee Fleming National Anthem
Under 2 minutes 25 seconds (+110)
I think every year I take under and lose. But this is an incredibly long drawn out version of the Anthem

Will Renee Fleming Wear Gloves?
Yes (-300)
Easy money. It’s not going to be a freezing blizzard, but it will definitely be cold enough for gloves.

How Many Times will Eli Manning be shown on TV during the game?
Under 1 ½ (+110)
The networks actually don’t overdo this during the Super Bowl. And I am sure Eli will try to stay out of sight.

Who will be seen first after kickoff? Erin Andrews or Pam Oliver
Erin Andrews (-140)
Please God don’t show Pam Oliver. There are children watching.

How many times will Peyton Manning say Omaha?
Under 27 ½ (-105)
He said it 31 times during the AFC Championship, but obviously it’s just a decoy now, and not all that funny anymore.

Which Song will Bruno Mars perform first?
Treasure 5/1
In my extensive knowledge of his catalog I think this is his most up-tempo number.

What will Bruno Mars be wearing on his head at the start of his performance?
Fedora – Even
Like taking candy from a baby

Will Wes Welker drop a pass?
No – Even
The guy drops one pass in a Super Bowl, on a poorly thrown ball and you never let him forget it.

What color will the Gatorade be?
Orange – Even
If Broncos win it will surely be orange.

Who will the Super Bowl MVP mention first in his speech?
Teammates – Even
It’s Peyton Manning and team comes first to him.

How many average viewers will the game have?
Under 112 million – Even
If the game isn’t close audience will drop off towards the end.

Overactive Tear Ducts

This video of Knowshon Moreno crying before a game earlier this season has been getting a lot of play recently. But all anyone wants to talk about is why Moreno is crying.
I want to know who the fuck cries like that?

Enjoy Your Drink Clint

There was an amazing list of Starbucks spelling mistakes, many of which were not to be believed (no matter what they think they heard no barista is writing Vagina or Anus on someone's coffee cup) but this one, totally reasonable to believe it actually happened had me in absolute hysterics.

See you next Tuesday, Clint.

You Don't Want to See How the Sausage is Made

Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch loves Skittles. His nickname is Beast Mode. (That's for the lady Poopheads). Oh and I guess I should also mention the Seahawks are the Super Bowl.
The Seahawks introduced a Beast Mode burger, which came with a bag of Skittles, on the side.
But that just wasn't good enough for one butcher in Seattle. He decided to just dump an entire bag of Skittles into the sausage.



It might not be so bad if Skittles still had lime instead of that awful green apple.

Maybe He's Representing Staten Island a Little Too Much

Congressman Michael Grimm, who represents Staten Island and part of Brooklyn in Congress and looks like Chael Sonnen, administered a little Staten Island justice to a reporter after the State of the Union.



Grimm only wanted to answer questions about the State of the Union and the reporter, Michael Scotto was trying to ask about some campaign financing issue.
I don't have a problem with Scotto asking, I don't have a problem with Grimm not answering, and if he stated before the interview that he wasn't willing to talk about it, then I don't even have a problem with Grimm confronting him.
But even though I like his Staten Island fire, I wish he would have told Scotto "I told you not to ask me about anything other than the State of the Union and you tried to sandbag me, that wasn't right. Don't ever do that to me again." That would have been an appropriate and acceptable response.
Threatening physical violence never is, especially when you're wearing a microphone and making the threats in front of a TV camera.

Song of the Week

"Partition" - Beyonce
"Driver roll up the partition please
I don't need you seeing yoncé on her knees"

This is a side of Beyonce we don't normally see. But I like it.

Funny or Douchey?

Daft Punk won the Grammys for record and album of the year, but they couldn't even give their acceptance speech because they were dressed like robots.

I understand this is their gimmick, and they always appear in public like this.
But what a shame it is that they reached the pinnacle of their profession and they can't get any credit or say anything because they're hiding behind masks.
Doesn't matter their reasoning, or if their gimmick is part of what helped them win in the first place, being a character 100% of the time, is douchey.

Subtle Racism

Let's look at the winners of the Grammy Awards in the rap and R&B categories:
Best rap performance:“Thrift Shop,” Macklemore and Ryan Lewis featuring Wanz
Best rap song: “Thrift Shop” Ben Haggerty & Ryan Lewis
Best rap album: “The Heist,” Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

Best R&B performance: “Something,” Snarky Puppy With Lalah Hathaway
Best R&B song: “Pusher Love Girl,” James Fauntleroy, Jerome Harmon, Timothy Mosley and Justin Timberlake
Best R&B album: “Girl On Fire,” Alicia Keys
Best urban contemporary album: “Unapologetic,” Rihanna
That's 7 categories, 5 wins for (songs performed by) white men and 2 for black women.

Where are the black men? Eric Benet and Anthony Hamilton both had excellent albums in the R&B categories and Kendrick Lamar and Drake also had great entries in the rap categories but somehow the white people keep winning. And there is a history of this happening in these categories.

The reason is some kind of subtle, unintentional racism. The people who vote for these awards are not exposed to enough of the music in these categories so they go with who they know. And invariably and unfortunately, the white acts (Macklemore, Eminem, Justin Timberlake and Robin Thicke) seem to get all the media attention, making this a self-fulfilling prophecy of institutional racism.

There's also the fact that these artists seem to have embraced the more pop side of their genres, in order to appeal to a mass audience, so once again, we have this vicious cycle.

I am not saying anyone does this intentionally, or even realizes it's going on, which makes it so hard to stop.

One thing I do notice from this is a kind of reverse racism, the Donovan McNabb Effect. Everyone in the white media feels guilty about this inherent racism so when they see a black person doing well, they totally exaggerate how great this person is as if to say "I'm not a racist, I loved Lupita Nyong'o in 12 Years a Slave."

I love Lupita and think she is gorgeous and wonderful, and surely a fine actress. But it is clear to me, at least some of the attention focused on her is out of guilt or an attempt to prove one's open-mindedness, not based on her looks or talent or performance.

They're Haunting My Dreams! Who? The Libyans!!!!!!!!!!

When the Lego Delorean came out last year I knew I wanted it, I mean I knew Chase wanted it, but I decided I had to watch the movie with him first so he could really understand and appreciate it.
The problem was finding the time. Since Julian doesn't nap anymore it's very hard to get 2 hours without him.
My day off on Martin Luther King Day, and Chase's strep throat (they both had school) gave us the opportunity.
He really liked the movie, and though he had difficulty following at times, I explained some things and he asked some questions so he did understand what happened.

A few funny points:

1) We talked about the bad language and after it was over he told me Marty said "o-s-h-i-t" and he heard a couple of "stu words" but he hasn't repeated them.
2) I told him not to hold onto a car while skateboarding, because it wasn't safe in real life. He said "if it's not real why didn't the inventor guy just put rockets on his skateboard?"
3) Later we tried to get him to explain the plot to Mrs. Poop (just to see what he retained) and he started with "the inventor had so many clocks, but they were wrong so the kid was late to school." When we told him to skip ahead a little he said "the kid saw himself and the inventor guy got shot, but he was wearing a bullet proof vest. Then he made the car fly."
4) He said "I don't like Biff, cuz he's mean and he's a bully."

Also the movie provided us a good opportunity to talk about self-confidence and doing anything you can set your mind to. Though I hope he doesn't go around punching people to boost his self-confidence and launch a class president campaign.

There was one drawback though. The night we saw the movie Chase came down about 30 minutes after he went to bed (which is 29 minutes after he normally falls asleep) and said he couldn't sleep because he was having nightmares about the Libyans, and he wanted to know if they were real. The next day he was still concerned so I explained the Libyans were only mad at Doc because he cheated them. That's why he shot them.

Now that we got that squared away it was time to build.
This was actually one of the most complicated, difficult builds we've ever done. Lots of tiny little pieces and very few traditional Lego bricks.

Including a flux capacitor. Or a flex capacitator as Chase called it.

The awesome license plate, OUTATIME.

And an accurate Doc and Marty. He even has the life vest. Dork thinks he's gonna drown.

But the finished product looks awesome.

Reason I Love Mrs. Poop #415,782

Knowing my love of melting crayons and making new ones, Mrs. Poop bought me a new mold, lips and mustaches.

That would have been enough (dayenu), but when she gave it to me she called it "lips and assholes," a reference to a classic movie line.

Celebrity Bandwagon

When you're undefeated and ranked #2 in the country it's natural for people to want to jump on the bandwagon.
So I guess we shouldn't be surprised to see Isla Fischer wearing a gray Syracuse Otto the Orange t-shirt to the gym.

Note: I know this is really Amy Adams.

Song of the Week

"All the Way Home" - Tamar Braxton
Not sure if any other artist has ever had 2 SOTWs in such a short time span, but I absolutely love this song. It joins one of my favorite songs ever, "All I Ever Think About is You" by Chrisette Michele (SOTW, 6/23/10) in the genre of songs about having a partner who drives you crazy, but even when you fight with that person, you can't stop thinking about him or her, because the overriding emotion is love. Maybe this hits home with Mrs. Poop and me.

"And who I think I'm fooling anyway
I'm driving around the block to come right back to you
When all along, I knew I should have stayed right where I was
Instead of drive and think of you"

The Sherman-Crabtree Incident

Richard Sherman is an asshole. He is a trash talker, and an awful jerk.
Look at what he did to poor Erin Andrews after the NFC Championship game.



"Well, I'm the best corner in the game, when you try me with a sorry receiver like Crabtree that's the result you gonna get. Don't you ever talk about me."
"Who's talking about you?"
"Crabtree. Don't you open your mouth about the best. Or I'm going to shut it for you, real quick. LOB (Legion of Boom)!"

He eventually gave a calmer interview with Ed Werder and was completely composed during his postgame press conference when he continued to call Crabtree "mediocre."

Fine, if this is how Sherman wants to be and it makes him happy, that's fine with me.

But the righteous indignation when someone comes back at him is where he really pisses me off. Trent Williams punched Sherman, Sherman went after Skip Bayless, and there are other incidents, and each time Sherman wants to play the innocent victim.

This time he tried to blame Crabtree for allegedly trying to fight him at a charity event. Do you think Crab did that for no reason? They'd never met before? They play twice a year and Sherman does the same shit but Crabtree can't react during the game so he waited until he got to a place where he could beat Sherman's ass.

Sherman is a very good player, and he is a smart guy. But being a Stanford graduate doesn't make you a saint. He's not charming, he's seldom funny. He's just a trash-talking asshole who starts shit and then likes to complain that he was victimized.

Remember if he hadn't derisively patted Crabtree on the ass, this wouldn't have happened. If he hadn't given that ridiculous pro wrestling interview to Erin Andrews, this wouldn't have happened. And then, even with the advantage of hindsight he stuck to his guns.

So now the situation has gotten way out of control, and he's becoming a huge villain and even his coach and teammates are calling him a distraction, now he wants to apologize.

It's a little too late buddy. Next time just shut your mouth and play.

The NFL is Poop - Conference Championships

The Ones That I Want
Only once in the past 20 years have the top seeds from each conference played each other in the Super Bowl. Unfortunately for him, Peyton Manning lost that game, to the Saints.
Note: The Bills 4th straight Super Bowl loss, was the previous time, in January 1994, Super Bowl XXVIII.
One of the drawbacks of this wild card era is that frequently teams that are inferior, had so-so regular seasons, not just make, they win they Super Bowl. It has led to a long run of mostly exciting games for about 15 years now but regular season success is rarely ever rewarded. But both these teams earned the top spots in their conference because they were better all year, and they used their home-field advantages, the thin air and 12th man (the second of which I still believe is greatly overrated) and held serve against worthy adversaries.

This Super Bowl will also feature the #1 offense vs. the #1 defense. The last time that happened was the first Super Bowl the Bills lost, to the Giants, on Scott Norwood's miss. This might be a better predictor of the type of game we're going to see. Seattle;s big physical corners are going to try to beat up the Denver receivers and Denver will likely try run routes to get their receivers into favorable coverages, screens and quick slants.

15th Times the Charm
In the 15th matchup of Peyton Manning and Tom Brady, Manning clearly got the better of his heretofore more successful counterpart. Manning was precise in his short throws and even though people say he has lost some arm strength he threw some beautiful balls that were turned into great catches by his receivers.
Brady on the other hand was not at his best, missing a wide open Julian Edelman early in the game and later also missed some throws that I thought he could have made. These things happen. Not even the best players can play at their best in every single game. If they did, it wouldn't be fun to watch. Also the Patriots vaunted running game (a little sarcasm there) only managed 64 yards, putting more pressure on the passing game.

Manning's Legacy
I have always been a pretty big Peyton Manning doubter, considering him a great quarterback who far too often was unable to make the big play to lead his team to victory in a big game, very often making the game-losing mistake instead, like the Tracy Porter pick-6 in Super Bowl XLIV. But at this point, 3 Super Bowl appearances, every NFL record, win or lose he's the perfect cross between Dan Marino and Joe Montana and he has to be one of the 2 or 3 greatest QBs of all time.

Timing is Everything: The Russell Wilson Story
I have never been a huge Russell Wilson fan, and I still think a large part of his success is due to the team he is on, but he certainly deserves a lot of credit for winning this game for the Seahawks. Yes, he made some bad plays, the intentional grounding, but he hit two huge plays, and they were both plays that very few other NFL QBs could have made. The first one came early in the game, a ridiculous 51-yarder to Baldwin who was being double-covered. But he caught it and it set up the Seahawks first points, a field goal that cut the lead to 10-3. And of course the second was a ridiculous bomb to Jermaine Kearse to give Seattle a 20-17 lead. That was a risky play. If they don't make that the 49ers get the ball with the lead and good field position. But Wilson, as seems to be his MO, made the play when it absolutely needed to be made.

Night Kap
On the other hand you have Colin Kaepernick who was great early, but turned it over 3 times in the 4th quarter. This game showcased everything we know about Kap, he's got a great arm, is really fast, but he makes mistakes.
Personally, I blame a lot of his problems on the game plan. I thought the play-calling in the second half was atrocious. You have to give the Seahawks credit, they are good. They should have attacked with crossing routes, rollouts, and even designed Kaepernick scrambles. Instead it seemed the 49ers wanted to hit the big pass to the outside, 2 of which were picked. And 2 more could have been (the TD to Boldin and another pass on the last drive, to Crab, I think). And on that last play, why go for broke there with 20 seconds left and 2 timeouts? And if that was the decision why rush it? Why not take a timeout? Whoever decided that is the one who needs to take the blame.

Ball Don't Lie
One of the craziest sequences ever occurred in the 4th quarter when Seattle fumbled on consecutive plays. And funny thing about this sequence is San Francisco recovered the first one, and the ball went to Seattle. Seattle recovered the second, and the ball went to San Fran. On the first one, NaVorro Bowman had a clear recovery (this type of play will be reviewable next year) but he must have gotten it pulled out in the pile, understandable since his knee had just been torn to shreds.
But on the very next play, Wilson and Lynch botched the handoff, and though the Seahawks jumped on it, it was 4th and goal, so the 9ers got the ball back, rightfully.

Picture of the Week
Peyton Manning bobbles a snap

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Denver Broncos 27 Seattle Seahawks 13
Something just feels right about Peyton Manning winning the Super Bowl this year and cementing his legacy. I have not been overly impressed by the Seahawks offense, and no matter how good their defense plays, you know Manning will still put up points.

Weekly Picks

A push and a late touchdown ruined my week.

DENVER -5 1/2 new england
I feel like it's Peyton Manning's year.

san francisco +3 1/2 SEATTLE
Seattle's quarterback and its home field advantage are both incredibly overrated.

Last Week: 1-3 (0 pointa)
Season: 46-47 (36 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (6-13)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (19-22)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 1-0 (13-11)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (12-13)

Lead By Example

The Sochi Olympics start in 3 weeks and so far all we know is that Russia doesn't want gay people acting gay on its streets. In response to that the U.S. (President Obama) named a delegation of gay athletes, chief among them Billie Jean King and figure skater Brian Boitano. King never played in the Olympics (she did coach) and Boitano wasn't even out until last week when he did so in order to accept this honor.
You see the selection of King, Boitano et al, was based on one factor, they're gay.
And that's what prompted Mario Pescante, an IOC member from Italy to say "it's absurd that a country like that sends four lesbians to Russia just to demonstrate that in their country gay rights have (been established)."
And if I had to choose sides in this debate, I would side with Pescante, but allow me to state his point a little more delicately. If the U.S. is trying to prove that gay people are equal on all counts, including and especially sporting prowess, and therefore we shouldn't judge people or select people for honors based on the sexuality.
Wouldn't it be an outrage to give such an honor only to heterosexuals? So why is it ok to give the honor to only homosexuals?
I know the counterarguments to what I am saying: we have to make an issue of this and bring attention to the harsh policies in Russia and elsewhere. Basically the pendulum is pulled to one side, that we have to pull it to the other side, past the center, if we ever want it to rest in the middle.
That seems completely logical, but I disagree. I don't see how violating the very thing you're fighting for (people and athletes should not be judged by the sexual preference) helps further your point.
In my experience, the best way to influence the behavior of others is to be the person you want them to be.
So the U.S. should have named Boitano, and the usual raft of dignitaries and brown nosers, and made its point all the same, with a little less hypocrisy.

What the Heck Happened?

One day I noticed an unusual spike in hits for the Poop.

Most of them were for the post titled "Mrs. Poop's Evening Workout." That was the post speculating about Undercover Boss coming to Retro Fitness, which did eventually happen.
As you may remember, that episode featured a horrible employee named Jackie who was fired for her behavior on the show.

I am guessing that episode recently aired for the first time in New Zealand.

Note: that original post has 25 comments (most all-time) and 3400 page views (just outside the top 10 all-time).

The NFL is Poop - Divisional Playoffs

Disappointing Weekend
Normally Divisional Playoff weekend is the best one of the year because there are four games and you are guaranteed to have the league's four best teams are guaranteed to be involved. But after a very exciting weekend all four of these games were duds. Even the two games that were technically touchdown games were only made so by late touchdowns.

A Touch of Excitement
If nothing else we did have two very exciting plays. Twice a team down by a touchdown late in the 4th quarter kicked an onside, and recovered it.
First, the Saints. They actually might have had a chance after their recovery, but when Marques Colston caught a pass, instead of stepping out of bounds, and giving Drew Brees a Hail Mary, he stepped back in bounds and threw a forward pass all the way across the field. Not how the Saints wanted their season to end.

The Saints say the play was called, but Colston obviously screwed up the execution by passing forward. And Payton also admits maybe it was called one play too early, they had time for another chance.
San Diego tried their onside with 5 minutes left, down 10, recovered it, and drove for a score (a field goal). But they couldn't stop Denver and get the ball back.

Brilliance of Belichick

I don't want to get involved on the Bill Belichick dick-sucking, but it would just be impossible for him to have this much success without being an excellent coach. The latest example would be a playoff win where the Patriots run the ball 46 times (vs. 25 passes by Tom Brady) for 234 yards and 6 touchdowns. And with guys like LeGarrette Blount, castoffs who somehow buy into the Patriot Way.

Did Anyone Else Notice?
The pants of Colts wide receiver Da'Rick Rogers? I know it was raining, so I expected his pants to be wet. But he must have also come in contac
t with some red paint from the field. Either that or he had some serious rectal bleeding? LeGarrette Blount's confrontation with the ref? After some pretty benign jawing the referee, Garth DeFelice, aggressively shoved Blount, and screamed in his face, for much longer than necessary to defuse the situation? The guys at Larry Brown Sports noticed.

One Last ScrewUp
The Colts-Patriots game was the last in the long announcing career of Dan Dierdorf. And he left us with one final flub. While talking about the play where Patriots punter Ryan Allen scopped up a bad snap at the two yard line and tried to do something with it, Dierdorf said he should have just fallen on the ball and let his defense try to stop the Colts. His actual decision to try to throw it was a poor one (though it worked out well because it was batted out of the back of the end zone for a safety), what he should have done was kick the ball, or pick it up and run with it, out of the back of the end zone. The 2 points for a safety was the least bad option available to him at the time. But Dierdorf insisted giving the Colts the ball at the 2 was his best option.
Though Allen did get hurt forcing placekicker Stephen Gostkowski to do the punting for the rest of the game.

He did have a nice moment with Greg Gumbel at the end of the game.
But my best memory of Dierdorf occurred during the heyday of Monday Night Football when Hank Williams Jr was crooning "Franl and Al and Dannnnnn..." The Raiders Napoleon McCallum suffered a brutal knee injury and a disgusted Dierdorf said (too bad that video cuts off before he says it) "Normally we hope we have as many viewers as possible but I hope the TV wasn't on in the McCallum household tonight."

Game of Next Week
New England Patriots at Denver Broncos
It's very hard to choose because I am very much looking forward to both of these games, but how can you pass up Manning v. Brady for the Super Bowl. I have little rooting interest so I will just hope it becomes a legendary game with an exciting ending.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Denver Broncos 21 Seattle Seahawks 10
I just have a feeling this is Peyton Manning's year. I do think there is a good chance the 49ers pull off the upset and lose their second straight Super Bowl, but as of right now, you'd have to make Seattle the favorites. Also, I did pick San Fran and Denver for the Super Bowl way back in September [CORRECTED] so I am hoping that comes true.

Song of the Week

"You Get the Best From Me" - Alicia Myers
Just a great early 80s funk/dance song. Every once in a while I like a really long song, something you can just chill and groove to.

Off the Carpet

Boobs were not in fashion this year at the Golden Globes (I feel this is harder than it should be every single year), since Madmen wasn't nominated and we didn't have Christina Hendricks.
But luckily we found Nina Dobrev from Mrs. Poop's favorite show, Vampire Diaries showing off her Golden Globes, at not just one but two different parties on Golden Globes weekend.

How Did They Know Which Way He Was Going?

An elderly man was arrested for driving on the Wantagh Parkway Sunday night.
Troopers said they received a report of a 71-year-old driver in a white Nissan was seen traveling north in the southbound lanes at about 8:11 p.m.
State police stopped traffic and set up a roadblock where the Nissan had last been seen. When the elderly driver approached, he went past the roadblock, but he was stopped south of the Southern State Parkway, police said.
He was charged with reckless driving, speeding, failing to comply with a lawful police order and driving the wrong way.

They set up a roadblock, and he drove around it?

Weekly Picks

It's going to be very difficult now to have a 9-2 playoffs, but I am going to try.

san francisco -2 CAROLINA
Sometimes young up and coming teams need to lose to a veteran team in the playoffs before they can make their own ascension.

SEATTLE -8 new orleans
Just because the home field and the cold weather isn't a guarantee of success it doesn't mean it never works.

indianapolis +7 1/2 NEW ENGLAND
I think New England is going to win this game, but the Colts offense can put enough points on the board to keep this close, unless Luck plays like he did in the first half against the Chiefs.

BEST BET
DENVER -10 san diego
This spread is about 3 more points than I had hoped to lay, but the fact that the Chargers won this last meeting, and got lucky two weeks in a row means that Denver is probably going to pound them.

Last Week: 2-2 (3 pointa)
Season: 45-44 (36 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (6-12)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (19-20)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 1-0 (12-11)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (12-12)

ForkGate

Soon New York Mayor Bill de Blasio will issue a mandate requiring all New Yorkers to eat pizza with a knife and fork. Hizzoner visited a Staten Island pizza place, and he went to Goodfella's (good choice) but the problem is, he ate his pizza with utensils.
Nothing could be less New York, and this is the guy running the city.
The Mayor tried to say this practice is common in his ancestral homeland and folding the pizza and eating with your hands is a strictly American thing.
He's a liar, a moron and a dictator. And now he has offended my ancestral homeland.

I Hate the Eagles, But I Love the Eagles Cheerleaders

Two left over notes from the Eagles game I went to with Billy a couple weeks ago, and they both involve cheerleaders.

First, the very hot Casey, came into our suite during the second quarter to pose for pictures. As best I can tell, only the teenage son of one of the executives took her up on her offer. I wanted to, for no other reason than to be able to add the "stupid things I do because they'd make good blog posts" tag to this post, but I demurred because Bill had been worried about acting professionally among his co-workers.

Also, if you're a grown man and you take a picture with a cheerleader, there's no way to avoid looking creepy. And it seems like a self-admission that hugging up on her is the closest you'll ever get to a woman's vagina.

During halftime of the game Rachel Washburn was honored. She recently returned from her second tour of duty in Afghanistan where she served as an Army intelligence officer with a special ops combat unit.

Reaction Shots

The great thing about the internet is that it gives a home to so much content we might never have seen before. But even with all that increased content, and increased access, there are still some things that are usually off limits, such locker rooms and team meetings. But recently we've gotten some good glimpses behind the scenes.

Let's start with the Wisconsin Badgers football team watching the Packers beat the Bears in the last game of the regular season, specifically the moment of Randall Cobb's game-winning touchdown catch.



Next, we go inside the San Diego Chargers locker room after they survived the final regular season against Kansas City's backup to earn a spot in the playoffs against the Cincinnati Bengals. When Mike McCoy finishes talking you can hear a player say "we owe Cincy" and one mocks the "who dey" chant. Clearly this motivated the Bengals to kick the Chargers asses.



The coolest of these is Ric Flair speaking to the San Francisco 49ers the night before their game against the Packers. Entrance music and all.



But my favorite one is from an NBATV show following the Toronto Raptors. Here you can see their initial reaction to the Rudy Gay trade, which also sent Quincy Acy and Aaron Gray to Sacramento.

Song of the Week

"Runaway" - Steve Means
I heard this song in a store an absolutely loved it. I don't know anything about this guy because he doesn't even have a Wikipedia page. There isn't even a real youtube video version of this song.

The Things We Do For TON

The poker site I use, Ultimate Poker (benefactors of my $1000 score), is owned by the same company as UFC, as the name would indicate.
Because the site is newly opened to NJ players, and UFC 169 is in New Jersey it only makes that it would give away some tickets to the event to online players.
UFC and Ultimate Poker went big, putting 1,000 pairs of tickets on the line. There are quite a lot of ways to win including winning pretty much any tournament on the site in January, or some random draws on their Facebook page and lots of other ways. Each of the Ultimate Pros had 3 pairs to give away to twitter followers who do certain things like make a video, or do something for charity, or say what you would do with a million dollars.
None of those was up my alley, so I went after Brent Hanks.
He was awarding tickets for the best joke tweeted with the hashtag "makeBrentlaugh."

But here's the problem: UFC 169 is February 1st. The same day as Duke's first trip to the Carrier Dome to play Syracuse. So I can't go. So I will give the tickets* to my only other friend who follows UFC.

You're welcome big TON.

*-assuming there is no fine print about the tickets being non-transferrable. *-assuming if anything cool happens he takes pictures and does a guest post about it.

The NFL is Poop - Wild Card Playoffs

Fuck the Cold
I only wish I had a little more confidence in my knowledge of just how overrated home field advantage is in the NFL, especially when it comes to the weather. Three outdoor games this week, and all three games were won by the road team, from the warmer climate that was supposed to be affected by the bad weather. That doesn't mean every bad weather game will be won by a road team for a Southern city, it just means that there are a million factors in determining which teams win football games, and even in the playoffs, the cold is probably in the bottom 100,000.

Which Leads Me to the Most Important Factor in Wins and Losses
In the NFL you need a quarterback who can make plays when the game is on the line. It can be with his legs, like Colin Kaepernick's 11 yard scramble on 3rd and 8 that put the 49ers in field goal position. Or it can be with his legs and his arm like Aaron Rodgers's brilliant escape and fire on 4th and 2 to Randall Cobb early in the 4th quarter that set up the touchdown that gave Green Bay the lead. Both these quarterbacks played brilliantly in this game and the only reason Rodgers lost is because his supporting case just wasn't up to snuff.

And When Your Quarterback Plays Badly, You Lose
Andy Dalton picked the wrong time to put up an absolute stinker. The Bengals actually led this game 10-7 at the half, and after a Bengals 3-and-out, San Diego scored a touchdown to take a 14-10 lead. The game was still very much in reach but then Dalton fumbled on a long run when he dove headfirst, not feet first, meaning the ball was live and the ground could cause a fumble. (RGIII did the exact same thing earlier this season.)

Then Dalton threw interceptions on the next two series (he now has 1 TD and 6 INTs in three playoff games). But San Diego still led only 20-10 and the Bengals had the ball at San Diego's 41 with under 5 minutes to go. Yes, the situation was dire, but on 4th and 3, they should have gone for the 3 yards, and taken a field goal if it were available. Instead they went deep, missed, and ended their chances to win, with 5 minutes left.

Game of the Week
Indianapolis Colts 45 Kansas City Chiefs 44
One of the greatest, most exciting, craziest games I've ever seen. It's now the second biggest comeback in playoff history after the famous Bills-Oilers game.
In order to score 35 points in one half of football everything needs to go your way, like this fumble that bounced right to Andrew Luck for the touchdown that gave the Colts the lead.

But even besides that he played a great game, got just enough collapse out of the KC defense and led his team to a huge memorable victory.

I do kind of weep for Alex Smith here. He is known as a game manager, and more derisively as Captain Checkdown, but he played a great game, 4 TDs, 0 INTs, 378 yards, a few nice deep balls (a 79-yarder to Donnie Avery), and basically a hell of a game, but his team failed him.

Shoveling It In
One of Alex Smith's other touchdowns lack the artistry of his beautiful bomb to Donnie Avery, but still accounted for 6 points. It was a back-handed shovel pass to fullback Anthony Sherman. But that wasn't the only shovel pass I saw. Andy Dalton hit a big one to Giovanni Bernard as well. And I am pretty sure I saw a couple others over the weekend. It's a pretty risky pass, but cool when it works.

Picture of the Week
Ladarius Green makes a great leaping catch over Chris Crocker (he's 6'6", Crocker is 5'11") for a touchdown.

Game of Next Week
Indianapolis Colts at New England Patriots
There's no such thing as momentum but that doesn't mean the team "on a roll" never wins. Confidence does matter though and if Andrew Luck is feeling good he could fling the ball around. But he's going to have to find a different receiver because you know Belichick is going to clamp down on TY Hilton.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Denver Broncos 31 Seattle Seahawks 17
Nothing much changed this week, as expected. But this week is when we separate the contenders from the pretenders, so this space could change.

Mrs. Poop in 15 Years

This new Old Spice ad may seem kind of creepy to some, but to Mrs. Poop and maybe other mothers who don't like their sons getting older, it really hits home.

Weekly Picks

A bad regular season is over but I will make up for it by nailing 9 of the 11 playoff games. I hope.

PHILADELPHIA -2 1/2 new Orleans
I believe a lot of what people are attributing to the Eagles as a 9-7 was at the beginning of the season with Vick, and even Barkley. Since Foles has taken over he has been mostly great. And there is serious reason to be concerned about the Saints on the road in cold conditions.

CINCINNATI -6 1/2 san diego
I just really like the Bengals this year and think they are a serious threat for the Super Bowl. (For the record: I'm going chalk with Denver over Seattle in the Super Bowl). I don't like the Chargers, even at their best I don't think they are better than the Bengals and they will have a hard time being at their best on the road in the cold.

san Francisco -2 1/2 GREEN BAY
I don't think the cold will hurt the 49ers as much as people think it will. The Packers might be more used to it but it will still be cold. And if the weather does have a serious impact on the way the game is played, that might actually favor the 9ers and Kaepernick as opposed to Rodgers who needs to throw it around.

BEST BET
kansas city +1 1/2 [corrected] INDIANAPOLIS
I'm picking the Chiefs here just because they lost to the Colts a few weeks back. Those things tend to even out.

Last Week: 2-3 (1 point)
Season: 43-42 (33 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (5-12)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (19-18)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (11-11)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (11-12)

Happy New Year

2013 was a great year for the Poop. In addition to all the great sporting events, I also started a new job for more money and a shorter easier commute.
Chase started first grade, learned to swim and tie his shoes. And he made his first best friend, and now spends every day at his buddy's house playing video games. That's what childhood should be.
Julian started the year in his terrible 2s and ended them as one of the smartest, funniest, cutest kids, I've ever seen.
Mrs. Poop has overseen it all while herself changing to a new role at work and helping many parents learn to care for their newborns.
The goals for 2014: buy a house and go to Disney World (shhh! it's a secret), if we can avoid serious illness and add a few other memorable experiences in there too, it should be another great year.

Song of the Week

"Stay the Night" - Zedd
The last awesome dance song from the super-producer who brought you "Clarity."
It continues a recent trend where the DJ/producer (David Guetta, Avicii) gets credit for the song and the singer (in this case Hayley Williams from Paramore) gets second billing, or no billing at all.
If this is the first song you hear today, your 2014 is off to a pretty good start.