Syracuse vs. Georgetown Big East Quarterfinal

2:09
I'm trying to dismiss the second loss in a week because I know this team is really good but Georgetown and Louisville have exposed some major weaknesses. I'll get into them more as a tournament preview, but SU will still be a 1-seed, they still have really good players, but some issues that didn't exist a week ago are bugging me now.

*****

1:59
SU hasn't gotten one steal with this pressure but it has resulted in so many points for Georgetown this game is now officially out of reach. And every fuckin time Georgetown turns it over the refs bail them out with a foul call.

*****

1:55
Rautins just makes a bad pass and a worse gamble on defense. 79-72, this game is very close to over.

****

1:50
Jim Boeheim is a fuckin asshole. Scoop just cut it to two, he kept the press on, Georgetown broke it easily, getting an easy basket, a chance at a 3-point play and the 4th foul on your only big man. Down two with 4 minutes left why take that risk? Coach of the year my ass. He still is the worst coach I've ever seen.

*****

1:47
The refereeing has just gone too shit. Johnson hit in the face, no call. A Georgetown player falls on his own and they call a foul. Georgetown is missing tons of free throws though. SU within 4.

*****

1:45
Fuck, he is being helped off. Fuck! Shit! We can't win anything with 6 players.

*****

1:43
Oh shit, Onuaku is on the floor writhing in pain. Not good.

*****

1:39
This full-court press never works for the Orange. They give up way too many easy baskets in it. Georgetown cannot miss right now. There's no way to catch up when your opponent is hitting every shot.

*****

1:38
Georgetown is hitting everything, and SU isn't even getting shots off. It's getting taken away everytime. Down 9 with 6 minutes to go, not good.

*****

1:33
Georgetown opening up a 5-point lead thanks to a 13-0 run. Georgetown is scoring every time they have the ball, and easily too. This game is getting away from the Orange very fast. 68-61.

*****

1:30
Rautins just jacked 2 3s and made another bad pass, now Scoop jacked one. Terrible offense right now. Georgetown by 3, SU fading in the second half again.

*****

1:27
Another 3 for Georgetown, SU is starting to rush on offense, Georgetown within 1.

*****

1:21
Pat Riley is at the game. He was at Baylor-Texas over the weekend. He's like an old grizzled baseball scout at this point. Subsisting off press box hot dogs and lugging his radar gun everywhere.

*****

1:19
Rautins is really playing well, the layup, a great pass to Jackson and a 3. But everything he does, Georgetown is answering right now. After starting 1 for 9 from downtown Georgetown hit 4 of the last 7.

*****

1:12
Andy Rautins just drove the lane for a layup. I'm not sure who was more confused to see Rautins that close to the basket, Georgetown's defense or Rautins.

*****

1:07
The second hald starting off the same way the first half did, 5 points from Wes and more bad turnovers.
The zone is not bothering Georgetown at all, 45-44, SU.

*****

12:47
Halftime. SU leads 40-37 but they need to stop making so many damn turnovers, 11 in the first half. 12 for Wes Johnson, 10 for Scoop.

*****

12:43
I think that was the highest-arcing pass in the history of basketball, but it worked.

*****

12:35
When Georgetown is getting the ball insided they are getting good shots, especially off passes from Monroe. But they are still shooting 3s, 2 of 10 from downtown. But that includes the last one to cut the lead to 34-30.
Jackson and Onuaku and 1 for 4 from the field. How does that happen? They never shoot more than 5 feet away.
10 turnovers, yikes!

*****

12:29
Scoop Jardine is so much better than Brandon Triche, but Boeheim can't start him because they'd lose the electric Scoop and K-Jo bench duo.
Johnson just broke up a layup with a foul on a fast break, so Georgetown gets two shots, trailing 26-21.

*****

12:24
Georgetown just fell asleep after a made basket and Kris Joseph ran past the whole team for an awesome layup. JT III called an instant timeout and scolded his team. Joseph (Big East 6th man of the year) is instant energy off the bench, he's already hit a 3 also, 21-19, Syracuse.

*****

12:17
Looks like Georgetown figured out the zone. They are being patient, passing it around, shooting from the outside and grabbing offensive rebounds. 8-0 run, Georgetown leads 14-11.

*****

12:14
6 minutes, 6 turnovers, 4 of 5 from the field. They have to button up this passing. Most of them have been easy passes too.

*****

12:10
Chase just came in from school, already got his first "Go Syracuse!"

The Big East Player of the Year already has 8 points. I was actually surprised he got it instead of someone who scores more. I think he was 16th in scoring during conference play. But he's playing like it right now as SU leads 11-6 despite three bad passes.

*****

12:07
So Wes Johnson was the Big East Player of the Year, someone should tell Dave Pasch. He's already mentioned it five times, not even bothering to call him Johnson, just saying "Big East Player of the Year..." on his first basket.

*****

12:03
Dave Pasch, Doris Burke and Fran Fraschilla. Why do we get the B-team? I need Raf in case someone hits a big shot late in the game.

*****

12:01
ESPN is playing the cheesy Big East Tournament rap, it's game time!
Keep hitting refresh and I'll keep going throughout the game.
Feel free to join in via the comments section.

*****

11:57
Syracuse plays Georgetown for the third time this season. The first two losses were so embarrassing for Georgetown fans that VW unfriended me on Facebook due to the humiliation and shame.

I don't really care what happens in this game, because Syracuse is locked in to the number 1 seed in the Houston/South region with opening round games in Buffalo.
Yes, you like to win but I don't want the team to play three tough games in three days.
I care so little about winning this tournament I allowed Diesel to be without the Syracuse collar he's worn all season in favor of a seasonal one.



I did think it was a little bit of a sign that I saw a cab with the Syracuse ad on top, New York's College Team.

3000 Words

Think of this next time you want to complain about your job (Chase looked at this and said "he going poopies daddy"):


Joannie Rochette, the most memorable Olympian of the 2010 Winter Games:


Lego Stephen Hawking:

He Rehabilitates Dogs, He Trains People

After years of helping Cesar Millan bring troubled dogs back to balance, beloved pit bull Daddy died at age 16.
I once walked behind Cesar and Daddy on an escalator and poor Daddy did not like getting on the escalator. But being the calm, submissive dog that he is, Daddy followed Cesar.

Daddy, often referred to as America's pit bull ambassador because of his gentle disposition and intelligence, lived with the Millans from the age of four months when rapper Redman gave Daddy to the then-unknown dog behaviorist. He stood as a champion for calm-submissive pit bulls everywhere, and was instrumental in helping to repair their image as violent and uncontrollable.

As fans of Millan's hit National Geographic Channel television series Dog Whisperer know, Daddy was a key fixture in more than 50 episodes, often assisting Millan with his toughest cases, bravely interacting with and calming the most unmanageable dogs with his natural balanced energy.

Cesar states: "I've always seen Daddy as my teacher of life. He brought my family and me so much joy over the years. Personally, he represented what my grandfather taught me, never work against Mother Nature. He will be greatly missed, but his spirit lives on."

Daddy's Emergency Animal Rescue Fund will provide funding and assistance for dogs who are victims in large-scale disasters (hurricanes, fires, and other natural catastrophes), man-made disasters (hoarder and puppy mill rescues), and animal victims of abuse or violence.

An initial contribution by the Millans and the Dog Whisperer team has established the fund in Daddy's honor.

If you would like to honor Daddy's memory and the contributions he made to improving the lives of animals, you can make a donation by visiting http://www.millanfoundation.org/daddyfund.

No One Will Play With Me

ESPN.com is running a series of great games: one for championship week, and in addition to the tournament challenges for men's and women's brackets there are two other NCAA tournament related games to be unveiled on Monday.

Sign-ups for all these games are available now and so far no one as joined my groups, called Paul's Poop.

There is also a new MMA game. It's a little easier than fantasy UFC, this one requires you to pick the straight winner of every match on UFC 111.

So join in fuckers before I kill you all.

Mrs. Poop Was Right

Several years ago I used this blog to pump a great new show called "How I Met Your Mother." I think I converted some of you successfully and we've all spent many years enjoying the show together, you dumb slut.
Now I am turning my attention to "Modern Family."
A few notes:
This is Mrs. Poop's favorite show
I didn't even watch it at first, but she raved so I downloaded the first 12 episodes and caught up and now I love it too
It is a little gayer than HIMYM, it has 2 gay characters and one gay actor (tied with HIMYM)
The humor is more absurdist and awkward, similar to the early years of "The Office" complete with mockumentary interviews.

But the show is hilarious and Sofia Vergara has huge boobies. Huge!

Google Hates Sidney Crosby

Looks like Googlebombing is becoming more popular. After using Google's autofill feature to besmirch Chinese people the internet kids are now attacking Canadian hero Sidney Crosby.

An Idea for Razor's Next Pitch Meeting

TV commercial:

Hi, I’m Monique. When I won the Academy Award for my role in precious I gave my acceptance speech with hairy legs. I used to hate shaving, but ever since I got the Schick® Intuition Plus® I shave everyday.

It lathers, shaves and moisturizes in one easy step so there is no need for shave gel, soap or body wash.

Now my legs are smooth and my husband doesn’t sleep with random women and I don’t have to pretend I’m ok with it. All thanks to the Schick® Intuition Plus®.

Song of the Week

"Unbelievable" - Notorious B.I.G.
It's unbelievable that he's been dead for 13 years.
Biggie Smalls is the illest.

Milk-A-What

Lindsay Lohan thinks the famous milk-a-holic baby of the same name was based on her.
She is suing E-Trade, saying the boyfriend-stealing, "milkaholic" baby in its Super Bowl commercial was modeled after her.
And she wants $100 million for her pain and suffering.
Lohan's lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna.
"Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit," Ovadia said.
"They used the name Lindsay," Ovadia said. "They're using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn't they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody's talking about it and saying it's Lindsay Lohan."
Chris Brown, a spokesman for Grey Group, which produced the spot, is throwing cold milk on the controversy, saying it "just used a popular baby name that happened to be the name of someone on the account team."
Ovadia said E-Trade has violated Lohan's rights under New York state civil-rights law and used her "name and characterization" in business without paying her or getting her approval.
She says Lohan is owed $50 million in exemplary damages, plus another $50 million in compensatory damages.

New York's Coming Population Explosion

"I have seven kids that live in five different states. I made some wrong decisions in my first two years in the league. Now I have to take on the responsibility of being a father to my kids. I can separate my personal life and off-the-field issues from football...The mothers [and I] try to work out a schedule where I can see my kids. I talk to them on IChat and Skype. We try to find different ways for me to be in their lives, no matter how it is.''

That quote comes from the newest Jet Antonio Cromartie. Moving to the East Coast may allow him to expand his reach to a few more states. New York and New Jersey should be no problem assuming they're not already on his list.
Cromartie is in the last year of a 5-year, $12 million contract.
He'll be paid $1.7 million this year but he can't wait until the season starts to get his first paycheck. He asked the Jets to front him $500,000 so he can stay current on his child support payments.
How much child support could this poor guy be on the hook for?
$4,000 a month seems outrageous and even that only amounts to about $336,000 for a year.
If he really has his life together the Jets got a good player for a bargain basement price because the Chargers don't want to deal with his issues. If not they only have one year at a reasonable cost.

Maybe She's a Virgin Too

Too bad I didn't get to post this while she was still on the show but Janell Wheeler, the first person eliminated from the Top 24 on this season of American Idol used to date (but presumably not bang) Tim Tebow.

Oscar Fashion

This year's Oscars were kind of disappointing as far as fashion goes. There weren't any chicks slutting it up and looking really hot. And even the worst dresses weren't that bad.

Zoe Saldana looks really good, until you get to her knees.


This is what Molly Ringwald looks like these days:


Does this dress make J.Lo's ass look big?


What was Charlize Theron's motivation here? What was she trying to say with this piece?

The Women of Fox News

I too appreciate them for their brains.



Be discreet with your comments, thanks!

The Unedited Anne Frank Diary

Some parents in Virginia are objecting to their children reading "The Diary of Anne Frank" in schools.
But not for the reason you might think.
The problem is the school was using the unedited version of the diary for 8th grade students. This includes some passages that are often deleted.
A mother of an eighth-grader at Floyd T. Binns Middle School became concerned about an entry in which Frank describes having erotic feelings for another girl and another in which she describes what her vagina looks like. The mother did not want the book removed, she said. She was asking that her daughter not be required to read the book aloud, as the class had been doing.

I Guess He Meant It

One of my favorite moments of the Olympics Games came when U.S. Curling skip John Shuster missed another shot and said "I'm sick of this stupid game."
Announcer Colleen Jones said "he doesn't mean that" but then Shuster and his team withdrew from the U.S. Championships.
They cite physical and mental exhaustion as the reason but poor results probably caused all that.
Shuster is probably tired of reading about himself on the internet, though he does have a sense of humor about it saying he liked the "Honk if John Shuster Missed a Draw to Cost You a Curling Game" bumper sticker.

Maybe There is Something to This Petter Northug Stuff

"My name is Odd-Bjoern Hjelmeset. I skied the second lap and I fucked up today. I think I have seen too much porn in the last 14 days. I have the room next to Petter Northhug and every day there is noise in there. So I think that is the reason I fucked up. By the way, Tiger Woods is a really good man."
-- Norway silver medalist Odd-Bjoern Hjelmeset, on his performance in the men's 4 x 10 relay

This is an actual quote. I swear I did not make this up.

A True American Hero

On June 21, 1964 Jim Bunning pitched a perfect game against the Mets on Father’s Day.
Until recently, that was the crowning achievement of Bunning’s life.



Last week Bunning single-handedly blocked a bill extending unemployment benefits.
Normally, I wouldn’t bother writing about the obscure inner workings of the Senate but I feel this is important.
Bunning was ripped by just about everyone for supposedly not caring about people who are out of work.
But Bunning was making a point, the government can’t afford to give money to anyone -- no matter how much they need it – if the government doesn’t have it.
No matter how sad you are for the people in Haiti, it doesn’t make sense to give them so much money it puts you in debt, especially when you are already maxed out on all your credit cards.
I know the above analogy is not perfect because at least some of that money will come back to the government in tax receipts, but the point is the same, the government shouldn’t spend money it doesn’t have.
In fact, this is the what got us into the mess, people spending money they don’t have. It wasn’t the evil bankers, it wasn’t George W. Bush nor Barney Frank, it was individual people like you and me who bought houses they couldn’t afford and they didn’t pay their bills.
Many of Bunning’s critics, those who aren’t personally attacking him like MSNBC, are agreeing with Bunning’s point but saying this is not the right time to make this stand.
When it’s actually the only time to make this stand. Bunning is retiring, no politician seeking re-election could afford to take such an unpopular, non-populist position.
And he knew the bill was going to go through anyway, and likely made retroactive, so no one lost anything because of his stance.
Except for maybe the reporter from ABC News who ambushed Bunning on a Senators-Only elevator asking him to explain why he was blocking the bill. That would have been fine if Bunning hadn’t already explained 1000 times that he was blocking it because the Senate couldn’t figure out a way to pay for it.



Note: I hope liberals choosing to argue this point will come up with something better than "George W. Bush sucks."

The Yankees Sign an Old Crafty Veteran

MLB Network's Harold Reynolds and Hazel Mae interview the Yankees non-roster invitee to spring training.

Here's the link

This is actually pretty cool. He is at spring training and I guess they have a camera set up to do this. Pretty funny idea. I wonder if its just Yankees camp or every team.

It's Soul Food People

As Black History Month comes to its conclusion I want to make a point that I feel is long overdue.

Earlier this month Questlove of the Roots posted picture of the menu for a lunch NBC served in honor of Black History Month.

The menu included fried chicken, collard greens, black eyed peas (not the shitty group with Fergie) and cornbread.



Now the obvious reaction is to be outraged. How dare NBC suggest black people like to eat fried chicken and collard greens.

But there is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not an embarrassment to like fried chicken.

These foods are part of black culture. Just like Chinese food, Italian food and kosher food are part of those cultures.

Yes, it can be insulting to pull your eyes back and say “moo shoo pork” in an affected voice or to say Sandy Koufax’s best pitch is the Matzo ball or to say Bobby Engram fumbled because he was eating fried chicken at halftime.

But that doesn’t mean we should rob black people of credit for a valuable contribution to our culture just because of white guilt.

Is Farting at Work Not Kosher?

An employee at the Jewish Theological Seminary is suing, claiming she was fired as retaliation for complaining about her boss's farting.
Roberta Feinsmith of Fair Lawn, NJ was doing great at her job for 12 years until Alan Cooper was hired as her supervisor.
She claims he had daily cursing and yelling fits and unleashed "constant barrages of...flatulence" in her work area.
After her repeated objections Cooper sent an e-mail saying they needed to get rid of older workers. The 67-year-old Feinsmith was fired the next day.
That will teach her to complain about someone's gas. I bet she thought her farts smelled like roses.

Wednesday Wangdoodles

If you love “Modern Family” but hate all the funny jokes you’ll love “Parenthood.” NBC’s new plan for a better lead-in to local news is to make people cry so hard they forget to change the channel.

*****

A few quick notes about the wedding I went to last week.
Mrs. Poop went under 2.5 on Shirley Temples.
The DJ went under 1.5 on Lady Gaga songs, playing only “Poker Face.”
We also hit the under on number of people lifted in the chair during the Hora. That was set and 2.5 and only the bride and groom went up. What a shonda, you gotta get the parents in the chair. I guess that’s what happens when I don’t step up and take over.

*****

I have gathered a lot of opinions on the Storm-Heiser fiasco and this is the consensus: “Hannah Storm is hot, especially for a 47-year old. That particular outfit was awful. But Tony Kornheiser should not have said anything about it, at least not the way he said it.”
Can anyone honestly disagree with that statement?

What Do You Get When You Have a BeDazzler and a Vagina?

Jennifer Love Hewitt explains the concept of Vajazzling to George Lopez (the best part starts at 2:40)



"It looks like a disco ball down there!"

The procedure was made popular by New York City's Completely Bare Spa, as a post-waxing add-on service. An esthetician decorates your newly-hairless pubic region with stick-on Swarovski crystals in the design of your chioce.




Story Suggested by Mrs. Poop

Song of the Week

"Bust it Baby Part II" - Plies featuring Ne-Yo
The rap verses in this song are some of the worst I've ever heard.
"Keep your name in my phone under the name 'lil boo'"
"I just gave her a nickname it's 'wet-wet' cuz when we finish she mess up all my bed set."

But the Ne-Yo parts are awesome.
"Girl I'm gonna do everything I can, to prove I'm a better man, than your friends, think I am."

But most of all I love samples and the creative use of them and this one borrows brilliantly from Janet Jackson's "Come Back to Me"

Post-Olympic Hangover

Final thoughts on the 2010 Winter Olympics.

Petter Northug led Norway to a come-from-behind silver medal in the cross country relay. He passed two skiers who had a big lead on him when he started his leg. Al Trautwig, calling the race for NBC said “Here comes Northug with his world class pole push.”

He also won the gold in the 50k, the so-called marathon of the winter. I haven't watched this race yet, but I will, hoping for more gold like that.

*****

Tanith Belbin roomed with Johnny Weir in Vancouver. She says they have the best-smelling room in the Olympic Village.



*****

Even a curling novice such as Mrs. Poop could easily identify the difference in skill level between the teams in the medal round and the U.S. team. Canada’s Cheryl Bernard could pass a curling stone through the eye of the needle then get cougar-iffic on a couple of 22-year-olds at a bar later that night.

*****

NBC really has to figure something out about their coverage for 2012 and 2014. Both of those games, in London and Sochi, Russia will take place several hours ahead of U.S. time zones. If NBC continues to insist on packing every important event into a primetime show the ratings will get even worse.
At Beijing Michael Phelps's races were scheduled for 10am local time so they could be shown in primetime here.
In Vancouver figure skating ended late, but at a reasonable enough time for a lot of people.
With Facebook, twitter and the web everyone knows the results of anything important by the time NBC shows it. I think they have to re-evaluate and show live events throughout the day on NBC.

*****

Donald Sutherland looks like a homeless man, not a famous actor. During one of the curling games the cameras caught him blowing his nose. Not sure why I found this so funny, but I did.

*****

Great showing by the U.S. hockey team, beating Canada, having an astounding outburst against Finland then scoring in the final minute to send the gold medal game to overtime. They didn't win but they were certainly fun to watch.

*****

For some reason I loved these games more than any Olympics I can remember possibly dating back to Calgary in 1988. The U.S. wins the most medals of any country ever, and Canada wins the most golds, maybe making it a little more excting. Plus a DVR makes it easy to watch all the events I want to see while eliminating those I don't care about.

Bring on Sochi!

New Dancing with the Stars Cast

I guess Erin Andrews is giving up on the whole serious journalism thing. Despite her claims that the whole nude video thing was a complete embarrassment capable of ruining her career. She seems perfectly willing to take advantage of the opportunities afforded to her when she became a household name overnight simply by standing in her hotel room looking hot. Ask Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton and they’ll tell you Erin took the easy way out. I guarantee Andrews will once again be willing to show off her smoking ass, in Keibler-esque outfits.



Others who will be dancing with Andrews:

Kate Gosselin – I’m so sick of her at this point. She behaved irresponsibly, took advantage of her kids, acted like a bitch, chased her husband away and somehow people still care about her.

Kate Gosselin’s hair extensions – anything is better than a mullet

Chad Ochocinco – I understand he’s refreshingly different, but the problem is he isn’t all that funny. Most of his stunts don’t amuse me, they’re just designed to get attention for himself. He was pretty good on Hard Knocks but when idiots really expect him to change his name back after getting dominated by Revis, you know his cult has gone too far.

Pamela Anderson – a washed-up disease-riddled skank

Nicole Scherzinger – an absolute smoking hottie, whom I’ve written about before. Her exotic look and dance background could make her a winner.




Btw, Erin Andrews also has a dance background dating back to her days on the University of Florida Dance Team, the Dazzlers.



Evan Lysacek – Olympic hero, might have an advantage because of his figure skating background which teaches him to set a routine to music. Confirms suspicions that Johnny Weir is not the only gay U.S. male figure skater

Buzz Aldrin – They always need someone elderly but I feel badly that a true American hero is stooping to this level

Shannen Doherty – It’s not 1991 anymore

Niecy Nash, Aiden Turner, Jake Pavelka – the girl from the Insider, a soap guy and the Bachelor, complete non-factors all

We're Number One

There’s an often quoted line from “Pulp Fiction,” spoken by the Wolf to remind Jimmy, Vincent and Jules that even though they had set the stage making it possible for them to get away with Marvin’s murder, nothing had been accomplished yet, and praise at that point was premature: “Let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks quite yet.”

It was the Wolf’s way of reminding everyone that a job is not done, until it’s done. If the Wolf were a Syracuse fan he’d be reminding us of that right now.

Syracuse is ranked #1 in both major polls, for the first time in 20 years. This is what fans and alumni get excited about (as the great Petey Bell said "the only time the alumni ever jerk off is when we win"), and rightfully so but no one will consider this season a success if SU doesn’t at least make the Final Four.

Right now 2003, is the best season in SU history, and 1987 and 1996 are tied for second.

This could be the best SU team of all time, but only if they win a title.

Yes those are high expectations, but what else would you demand from the best team in the country?

How Blackberries Save Marriages

Today I was sent to the store to buy chicken, milk and a green pepper. I came back with chicken, milk and a red pepper.
I know I would have gotten yelled at so I provided evidence and avoided an argument.
Thanks modern technology, what would I do without you?

Chase's Heel Turn

Ever since Team Canada beat Team USA in the gold medal hockey game something happened to Chase. He called me a hoser and starting chanting "Go Canada Go!"

What Do You Give Me For? Shaun White and Mirjam Ott

What do you give me for Shaun White and Mirjam Ott, the skip of Switzerland's curling team?

What Do You Give Me For? Shaun White and Animal

What do you give me for Shaun White and Animal?

Note: I don't necessarily think every WDYGMF? is a 10. Most times I post them because I think they are funny.

Maybe Jason Bay Would Bang Eve Muirhead

Jason Bay's biggest splash in spring training so far came when he explained the rules of curling to the baseball writers.
Bay's high school in Trail, British Columbia, Canada didn't have a baseball team, so he played on the curling team instead.
"I was the lead," Bay said. "I was the least important guy who threw the first two."
Then Bay was asked if the lead's rocks are the ones that simply get knocked out of the way, so he explained a recent rule change allowing a free guard zone to create more action.
"It's like shuffleboard, but what it used to be before they made these rules is that the guys that are really good, they would just play tic-tac and they would just take out every single rock for ten ends or nine ends and whoever hit the last rock would just win 1-0, so it was boring," Bay said. "So they made a rule that of the first three rocks, you can't hit them off the board. If you do, they put them back. You lose your shot and they put it roughly back to where they thought it was."


Bay is an avid fan of curling, and for a few years he curled alongside his father, Dave, in a Tuesday night league in his hometown. While many people around the world discover curling only every four years, Bay is a year-round fan of the sport, and has been following Canada’s teams in the Vancouver Olympics.

“It’s mesmerizing,” he said. “It’s a strategy game and it’s great on TV. You can see everything transpire. When the championships are on TV in Canada, you can’t turn it off.”

Bay is just one of several stars loving curling this Olympics, Wayne Gretzky, Carl Lewis and Donald Sutherland have all been spotted watching curling, and Vernon Davis is the honorary captain of the U.S. men's team.

We've Lost Our Boner

Actor Andrew Koenig, who had been missing since February 14, committed suicide.
Koening is best known for playing Richard "Boner" Stabone, Mike Seaver's best friend in "Growing Pains."
His body was found Thursday in a park in Vancouver, British Columbia.
The poor stiffy.

Love is Blind

Heroes star Hayden Panettiere and heavyweight champ Wladimir Klitschko.
He's 33 and Russian, she's 20 and a Hollywood starlet.
Good for him!

Karmic Retribution

Dutch speedskater Sven Kramer losing gold in the most heart-breaking fashion possible. Kramer is the best long-distance speed skater in the world. He already won the 5,000 and thought he had won the 10,000 after cruising to the finish line 4 seconds ahead of his nearest competitor.

But when he finished he found out he was disqualified. With 8 laps to go Kramer started to switch to the outside lane as he was supposed to. His coach gesticulated wildly and told him to get to the inside lane. Oops. He skated the remainder of the race in wrong laned, got DQed, blamed the entire thing on his coach (rightfully so) and even shoved the guy as he tried to console him.



I happened to catch this because I was DVRing the coverage and the announcers had no idea what happened at first. How did they not see Kramer almost stop and briefly argue with his coach about the proper lane to be in. And how did they not know he had skated two consecutive laps on the inner?

Anyway, the coach Gerard Kemkers must feel like the biggest piece of shit alive right now, but it could be all Kramers fault.

Check out what happened after Kramer won the 5,000 nearly a week before.



He called the poor lady from NBC stupid because she wanted him to state his name, country and sport. Tape identification, pretty standard, but he took it has a huge insult since he'd just won the gold medal and everything. The lady should have just said "I'm here with Sven Kramer of the Netherlands who just won gold in the 5,000 meters speedskating" and she might have saved everyone, a lot of embarrassment.

But maybe next time Kramer will handle it a little better and avoid the karmic bitchslap which cost him gold.

He Calls Em Like He Sees Em

ESPN has suspended host Tony Kornheiser from his television talk show "Pardon the Interruption" for two weeks because of comments he made on the radio last week about SportsCenter anchor Hannah Storm's clothing.

Kornheiser announced the suspension on his Washington D.C. radio show Tuesday morning, calling his remarks about Storm intemperate and stupid.

"As the result of this, I have been sent to the sidelines of PTI for a while," Kornheiser said.

What Kornheiser said, on his weekday local radio show on ESPN's Washington, D.C. affiliate Friday, was that Storm was on-air in a "horrifying outfit" with "red go-go boots" and a skirt "way too short for somebody her age." And her shirt was too tight and looked "like she has sausage casing wrapping around her upper body." He added the kicker: "She's what I would call a Holden Caulfield fantasy at this point."

Kornheiser said he had called Storm to personally apologize for the remarks.

"If you put a live microphone in front of somebody, eventually that person will say something wrong," Kornheiser said on his show Tuesday. "This was one of the times I said something wrong."



I can see the point that Storm is Kornheiser's colleague (even if only in name) and one should not comment about the physical appearance or dress of a colleague, especially in a derogatory way. But everything Kornheiser said is true. Storm consistently dresses like she's a hot young thing.
Let me tell you something Hannah Storm, I've googled Erin Andrews, I've studied pictures of Erin Andrews, I've seen Erin Andrews naked, and you are no Erin Andrews.

I'm sure Storm didn't like the comments but she could have prevented this by looking in the mirror before she left the house, then looking at her driver's license and realizing she's 47 years-old.

I ask you lady Poopheads (and gay Poopheads) don't you pretty much agree with everything Kornheiser said? Which is possible even if you think he probably shouldn't have said it.

Song of the Week

"Have a Little Faith in Me" - John Hiatt

Just Crazy Enough to Work

Jerry Manuel is crazy but his latest idea to bat Jose Reyes third while Carlos Beltran is out, isn’t crazy. It actually makes a lot of sense. But first let’s look at the arguments against it:

1) Castillo sucks.

2) Your fastest guy should bat first so he can get on steal bases and score on two outs.

3) Getting the early lead on so-called “Reyes runs” is a big psychological advantage for Mets pitchers.

Well Castillo does suck, I strongly believe this. But he had a great year last year. His on-base percentage was .387, which is better than anything Reyes has ever done, even in his best season. Now if you want to say he won’t be able to repeat that, I can’t argue, but you can’t prove it either way, you just have to see.

But that brings me to my next point. Saying the fastest guy should bat leadoff is a relic from a bygone era of baseball thought which included such gems as you judge a hitter by his batting average. Sophisticated baseball thinkers say the lineup order is really not all that important. But instead of speed first, the most important thing out of a leadoff hitter is on-base percentage. Also, the stolen base is incredibly overrated as a run producing technique especially because Reyes gets caught stealing more than you would like.

As for the psychological advantage, generally so-called mental benefits and intangibles are things people use when they have no real facts to support their argument.

And here’s the biggest reason why this Reyes experiment might work. With Beltran out he’s no worse than the third best hitter in the Mets lineup. They can’t afford to waste his bat buried behind the 8th and 9th place hitters.

All that being said there are two reasons I wouldn’t make this move. First of all, with Beltran hopefully coming back soon I wouldn’t cause so much commotion for a temporary fix. And Reyes is not patient enough, doesn’t see enough pitches to be a third place hitter.

They Don't Call Him Bobby Bucks for Nothing

The following is not an example of the Mets ineptitude:

After Bobby Bonilla was playing cards with Rickey Henderson in the locker room during Game 6 of the NLCS, the Mets dumped him. But instead of paying his $5.9m salary up front, with Bonilla’s permission the Mets agreed to pay him $1.2m every July 1st for 25 years starting in 2011 and going until 2035.

Though that seems like a bad deal Master Bates ran the numbers and the Mets would have need roughly 8% return on their money (somewhat reasonable) to make this pay off for them.

For Bonilla it’s a guaranteed rate of return and large payments well into his later years.

The other angle for the Mets is this: in 2000, at the height of the dot-com boom Wilpon was probably putting all his money with Madoff. He probably thought he could turn $5.9m to $30m in about 5 years, not 25.

But once again, just to set the record straight, amid all the signs of the Mets’ incompetence, this is not one of them.

Story suggested by Juice

I've Been Meaning To Go To a Cyclones Game

The Brooklyn Cyclones, the Single A affiliate of the Mets, will host Jersey Shore Night or Jersey? Sure Night as they call it.
On July 21, the team will be giving away limited edition jerseys that will feature the Cyclones logo on front and a picture of the team’s mascot in a fist-pumping pose on the back.
The night will include GTL (“gym, tan, laundry”) gift certificate giveaways as the team has partnered with a local gym, tanning salon and laundromat.
The team also plans to bring a special station on the ballpark’s concourse level that will allow fans to have their hair styled “like a good fastball –- high and hard” like Pauly D.
Cyclones management says it will invite Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino to take batting practice and ground ball drills with the team.

Why is This More Offensive Than the Rest of The Performances?

It wouldn’t be the Olympics without a figure skating controversy. But this one doesn’t involve crooked Russian judges. It involves the costume for the Russian pair, Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabilin. For the second of three dances, the original dance, the theme was folk dances. Teams were asked to perform a traditional dance from a world culture, not necessarily their own.

Some teams performed something from their own country, like the Israeli team (the brother and sister duo of Roman and Alexandra Zaretsky who performed to “Hava Nagila.”

Others paid tribute to different cultures like Tanith Belbin and Ben Agosto’s Moldovian folk dance.



But Domnina and Shabilin did an Australian aboriginal dance complete with face paint and leaves. And they were criticized for culture theft. The pair researched aboriginal culture and what they came up with seems no different than the portrayal of aboriginees in other outlets I’ve seen. It also seemed no more hokey and contrived than any of the other dances.

On a side note, Domnina is a Poop favorite though possibly unbeknownst to most of you. The Oksana Domnina nipslip picture I linked to years ago has been a great source of hits for this blog. In the weeks leading up to and including the Olympics I’d say at least 100 hits per day are directly related to her nipple. Imagine if I got a Tanith Belbin nip slip!

Tanith Belbin's Badunkadunk

Four years ago we fell in love with U.S. ice dancer Tanith Belbin. But little did we know we were contributing to her disordered eating. According to a New York Times article Belbin has spent the last four years getting stronger and adding weight, 10 pounds supposedly, from 105 to 115 (she's 5'6"). Now she is better able to hold herself up since her legs and core are stronger.

"She never binged, purged or used laxatives, she said, but she restricted her calories to the minimum. She would eat a small breakfast, then later snack on celery or a few almonds to get her through the day. After practices, she was too weak to lift her arms. Once in her apartment, she would stare blankly ahead, sapped of energy.

When she could not control her hunger, she would eat a huge dinner and find herself two pounds heavier. It horrified her."



Here's what she looked like in 2006, bones and ribs visible:



And here's what she looks like now, not a major difference but a little more to her:

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,779

While watching the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show Mrs. Poop sent me this e-mail:

"I think the man doing the announcing for the dog show is getting too much pleasure out of calling the female dogs bitches."

What's The Point of Winning a Bronze Medal if You Can't Use It To Get Girls to Pantomime Fellatio?

U.S. snowboarder Scotty Lago was sent home from the Olympics after some pictures surfaced of behavior unbecoming of an Olympian. At least according to the USOC. Lago and a female posed for photographs with the bronze medal he won in the halfpipe. Perhaps in a bit of Maplethorpian photography, the picture shows Lago with his shirt up, the girl on her knees, and the bronze medal precariously close to his junk.

Ice Dancing Is Like Kissing Your Sister

Of the 23 couples who will be competing in ice dancing at the Olympics, four are brother-sister combinations. That can be complicated when the compulsory dance is the sensuous tango.
All you need to know about how weird this will be is evidenced in this picture of John and Sinead Kerr:



The Wall Street Journal explains how these teams deal with the awkwardness.

Valentine's Day Review

I never listen to reviewers because they don't have the same tastes as I do and they aren't looking for the same things as I am.

That said, I still can't understand how anyone would have hated this movie.

There were no blue people in it which I guess is a bad thing.

The story was a little discombobulated because there were so many concurrent plots, but not so much that it was confusing or jarring.

It wasn't even that sappy. The only fair review I saw said it was too cynical about love, which it might have been despite the fact that every storyline ended with a kiss pretty much. And if you're going to hate a RomCom because it has a happy ending, then you should probably stay home. And take a bath. While making toast.

I would have added a little for eye candy for the fellas. There was McSteamy, Wolfboy and some other guy shirtless but Jessica Biel's giant ass was totally wasted.

Anne Hathaway was the sexiest female in the movie but she just doesn't do it for me.

Three reasons to go see Valentine's Day:
1) Shirley MacLaine's arms. I can't explain you just have to see on the big screen.
2) Taylor Swift's performance. Seriously she like totally stole the show. I wish five years ago I bought stock in Taylor Swift. Now she's 200 a share like Apple but I still see her becoming the biggest star of song and screen in the next 10 years.
3) The outtakes during the credits. Its a 2-hour movie but give it two more minutes, the last one is really subtly funny.

Since its only fair to judge movies against their peers and what they're trying to accomplish I give it 3 stars as a romantic comedy. It was entertaining, not boring, not annoying, not cheesy, not bad.

What the Fuck Are the Knicks Doing?

The Knicks are trying to clear enough cap space to sign two players to maximum contracts this offseason.
That was Donnie Walsh’s stated goal when he arrived and he is willing to spare no expense to do it.
Essentially Walsh traded Jordan Hill, the right to swap 1st rounders in 2011 (unless it’s #1 overall) and the 2012 1st round pick (top 5 protected) to get Jared Jeffries $6.9m contract for next season off the books.
He also got rid of problem child Nate Robinson but that wasn’t a salary cap move.
In the two deals the Knicks got Tracy McGrady, Sergio Rodriguez, Eddie House, Bill Walker and JR Giddens all of whom come off the cap at the end of the year.

So did Walsh accomplish his goal?
He has $17.7m committed next year to Eddy Curry (yikes!), Danilo Gallinari, Wilson Chandler and Toney Douglas.
A max player like LeBron will get $16.7m.
If the cap falls to around $53m (expected because of the recession) the Knicks wouldn’t be able to sign two max players (they’d still need to sign at least 6 more players to at least the NBA minimum).
They could sign a max guy and another guy to just short of the max, maybe LeBron and Joe Johnson. Or instead of Johnson, David Lee for $10m per season and still have $4.9m to spend on another player.

Here’s the list of guys potentially available this year:
LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, Amare Stoudemire, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, Tyson Chandler, Manu Ginobili, Richard Jefferson, Joe Johnson, Tracy McGrady, Yao Ming, Dirk Nowitzki and Michael Redd.

Best case scenario LeBron, David Lee and a serviceable point guard.
Worst-case (reasonable): Amare and Ray Allen. They need to use this money to build for the long-term.
Even better case: when Curry’s money comes off after next year they use it to sign Tony Parker.

As much as it kills me to give up basically four years of first round picks (though we will have one in 2011) the Knicks have to go for this 100%, if they half-ass it their chances of landing LeBron or Wade diminish. I think this is the right move for the long-term health of the franchise, go scorched-earth and make your best effort to sign the best player in the league.

TON's Favorite Olympian Ever

Meet Norwegian cross-country skier Petter Northug, bronze medalist in the individual sprint.

I Told You Not to Fuck With Me

An argument on a bus in Oakland escalates after the older white gentleman asks the younger black man "how much you charge me for a spit shine?"
The black guy thought he was tough, thought:



Damn that guy got knocked the fuck out. Not sure what happened before the chick started recording but it seems like this guy may have made a racially insensitive remark. I still think the black guy pushed it too far and I'm glad he got his comeuppance. Number one rule of street fights: Strike first, strike aggressively.