I have always opposed Secret Santa and pretty much any other kind of forced gift-giving. No one enjoys it and usually someone ends up getting screwed. So you can imagine my dismay when in my first day at my new job I was drafted for the office Secret Santa. Everyone in the office was complaining about it and it seemed to be nothing more than a perfunctory exchange of gift cards.
Being the new guy I didn't think it was in my best interests to recuse myself from the gift-giving so I grinned and pretended to be interested. When I reached into the bowl to make my choice I selected my own name. I had a fleeting moment where I thought I should just put the slip in my pocket and say nothing to no one. But instead I threw back my name and selected another.
With the spending limit set at $25 I asked Mrs. Poop to pick me up a Best Buy gift card for $20. The Secret Santa provided for some lively discussion around the office for a couple days, with pretty much everyone just bitching about it. But when the time came to exchange gifts the recipient of mine was very pleased, and even I made out well.
I got a $20 gift card from Starbucks. Sure, I don't drink coffee. And it was once my claim that I had never purchased anything at a Starbucks, but I've since broken that streak. I will happily share my gift card with Mrs. Poop and even enjoy a couple of Peppermint Hot Chocolates of my own. But in thanking the gift giver I was able to stir up a good conversation about coffee and working nights and it turned out this whole absurd endeavour actually served me quite well in incorporating me into the staff at my new job.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,776
I e-mailed Mrs. Poop this picture. And all my shirts are ironed anyway.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Someone Liked What They Saw
The executives at the porn production company Black Ice evidently liked what they saw of Visanthe Shiancoe. They (like some of you) saw the NSFW picture of Shiancoe's cock and were impressed enough to offer him a role in an upcoming movie.
The company's GM said "From what we’ve seen, there is definitely a career for Visanthe in the adult industry," quite possibly in Bubble Butt Barbecue 3.
The company's GM said "From what we’ve seen, there is definitely a career for Visanthe in the adult industry," quite possibly in Bubble Butt Barbecue 3.
Jim Boeheim Gets Tough
After a devastating loss at the buzzer to Cleveland State Jim Boeheim takes out his frustrations on a malfunctioning microphone during the postgame press conference.
[Correction: this happened two days earlier after a win against Long Beach State.
That was the angriest I've seen him since his famous "10 fuckin games" speech.
[Correction: this happened two days earlier after a win against Long Beach State.
That was the angriest I've seen him since his famous "10 fuckin games" speech.
Scariest Thing Ever
Chase just fell down the stairs.
He and I had come home from buying Mrs. Poop's Hanukah present.
She was upstairs getting ready so I put him on the bottom step and let him crawl up.
When he got to the top step I assumed Mrs. Poop had her eye on him so I went to the basement to hide her present.
Then a minute later I heard the unmistakable clomping of his sneakers on the kitchen floor.
I look up and see Chase standing at the top of the basement steps, looking like he's about to come down after me (only he hasn't mastered climbing down the steps the way he has going up).
I scream for Mrs. Poop and she doesn't answer, I scream louder and still no answer.
I run up the stairs and grab Chase and realize Mrs. Poop was upstairs the whole time.
We have no idea how he got down the steps safely.
To see if he actually has learned how to go down steps Mrs. Poop put him about five steps up and went to the bottom. On the first step down he couldn't quite reach and he tumbled down.
Thankfully Mrs. Poop grabbed him before he hit his head.
He didn't even cry.
He looked a little freaked out but not upset.
So how the hell did he get down the stairs the first time?
He and I had come home from buying Mrs. Poop's Hanukah present.
She was upstairs getting ready so I put him on the bottom step and let him crawl up.
When he got to the top step I assumed Mrs. Poop had her eye on him so I went to the basement to hide her present.
Then a minute later I heard the unmistakable clomping of his sneakers on the kitchen floor.
I look up and see Chase standing at the top of the basement steps, looking like he's about to come down after me (only he hasn't mastered climbing down the steps the way he has going up).
I scream for Mrs. Poop and she doesn't answer, I scream louder and still no answer.
I run up the stairs and grab Chase and realize Mrs. Poop was upstairs the whole time.
We have no idea how he got down the steps safely.
To see if he actually has learned how to go down steps Mrs. Poop put him about five steps up and went to the bottom. On the first step down he couldn't quite reach and he tumbled down.
Thankfully Mrs. Poop grabbed him before he hit his head.
He didn't even cry.
He looked a little freaked out but not upset.
So how the hell did he get down the stairs the first time?
Finally, Something Worth Paying $10 a Ticket For
I have been down on Hollywood for the past 10 years or so for its seemingly purposeful refusal to make any good movies. The storyline has been taken out and replaced with either the big explosion or the completely gay romance.
But it recently came to my attention that three movies I would love to see will be hitting theaters within the next month.
First of all there's Marley and Me. Based on one of the best books I ever read (but surprisingly never added to Paulo's Book Club, Marley and Me is about life as a dog owner. As long as the horrible actors (Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston) don't ruin it, it's going to be an hysterical tear-jerker that anyone whose ever loved an animal, particularly a mischievious labrador will love.
On a completely different note there's Gran Turino starring Clint Eastwood. Eastwood portrays a man trying to put off old age by kicking the ass of gang members half his age. His angry at the world mentality calls to mind Michael Douglas in "Falling Down" and his lone badass crusade is reminscent of Samuel L. Jackson in "187." And if that doesn't sound good to you, then you're reading the wrong blog.
And finally, if there's one thing Hollywood usually can't screw up, it's a biopic. Pick an interesting person and stick to the script without too much embellishment, and you should have a winner. It remains to be seen if that's the formula they chose for "Notorious," about Christopher Wallace aka Biggie Smalls aka the Notorious B.I.G. but I'm sure I'll love it anyway.
But probably the only movie I'll see in the theater is "Twilight" because Mrs. Poop has being dying to go.
But it recently came to my attention that three movies I would love to see will be hitting theaters within the next month.
First of all there's Marley and Me. Based on one of the best books I ever read (but surprisingly never added to Paulo's Book Club, Marley and Me is about life as a dog owner. As long as the horrible actors (Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston) don't ruin it, it's going to be an hysterical tear-jerker that anyone whose ever loved an animal, particularly a mischievious labrador will love.
On a completely different note there's Gran Turino starring Clint Eastwood. Eastwood portrays a man trying to put off old age by kicking the ass of gang members half his age. His angry at the world mentality calls to mind Michael Douglas in "Falling Down" and his lone badass crusade is reminscent of Samuel L. Jackson in "187." And if that doesn't sound good to you, then you're reading the wrong blog.
And finally, if there's one thing Hollywood usually can't screw up, it's a biopic. Pick an interesting person and stick to the script without too much embellishment, and you should have a winner. It remains to be seen if that's the formula they chose for "Notorious," about Christopher Wallace aka Biggie Smalls aka the Notorious B.I.G. but I'm sure I'll love it anyway.
But probably the only movie I'll see in the theater is "Twilight" because Mrs. Poop has being dying to go.
Monday, December 22, 2008
I Can't Find Any Reason I Won't Love This Show
I like "Friday Night Lights." I like "Entourage." I like Ice Cube. I like LeBron James.
So I think I am going to like this.
"LeBron James has partnered with O'Shea "Ice Cube" Jackson and ABC for a one-hour drama based on James' experiences as a high school hoops phenom. The series, described as "Friday Night Lights-meets-Entourage," will follow an inner-city 15 year-old prep star who is transplanted to a small town school and forced to come of age while dealing with media pressure, unscrupulous moneymen and the jealousy of his peers.
The pilot script is expected in the coming weeks and, if the network approves, production on the pilot could begin in the spring for a fall '09 premiere. CubeVision and James's newly formed entertainment entity Spring Hill Productions will oversee for the network, while James and Cube will serve as co-creators and executive producers."
And coming summer 2010, the kid moves to New York.
So I think I am going to like this.
"LeBron James has partnered with O'Shea "Ice Cube" Jackson and ABC for a one-hour drama based on James' experiences as a high school hoops phenom. The series, described as "Friday Night Lights-meets-Entourage," will follow an inner-city 15 year-old prep star who is transplanted to a small town school and forced to come of age while dealing with media pressure, unscrupulous moneymen and the jealousy of his peers.
The pilot script is expected in the coming weeks and, if the network approves, production on the pilot could begin in the spring for a fall '09 premiere. CubeVision and James's newly formed entertainment entity Spring Hill Productions will oversee for the network, while James and Cube will serve as co-creators and executive producers."
And coming summer 2010, the kid moves to New York.
How Did a Nice Jewish Boy Get Tangled Up In This?
The greatest Jewish player in Mets history, Art Shamsky is getting dragged through the mud by his bitter ex-wife.
Kim Shamsky claims Art gave her a sexually transmitted disease after cheating on her with both men and women.
In her lawsuit, Kim Shamsky says that during their 13-year marriage Art "engaged in acts of adultery with both men and women." And these escapades included "acts of 'unprotected' sex and deviate sexual intercourse"
Kim says she was informed by her doctor she had contracted the human papilloma virus (HPV).
The suit claims Shamsky continued to have sex with her although he "knew that an individual or individuals with whom he had engaged in sexual relations had contracted HPV or that he had contracted HPV."
Kim, who says she suffered "serious physiological and emotional injury," is asking for $11 million in damages.
Art's lawyer, Pat Crispo, dismissed the entire lawsuit as "frivolous" and insisted Shamsky is free of sexual disease. "This is the act of a very angry ex-wife who has maligned him in the press."
Shamsky played for the Mets from 1968 to 1971 and batted .300 in 1969 when he platooned with Ron Swoboda.
Kim Shamsky claims Art gave her a sexually transmitted disease after cheating on her with both men and women.
In her lawsuit, Kim Shamsky says that during their 13-year marriage Art "engaged in acts of adultery with both men and women." And these escapades included "acts of 'unprotected' sex and deviate sexual intercourse"
Kim says she was informed by her doctor she had contracted the human papilloma virus (HPV).
The suit claims Shamsky continued to have sex with her although he "knew that an individual or individuals with whom he had engaged in sexual relations had contracted HPV or that he had contracted HPV."
Kim, who says she suffered "serious physiological and emotional injury," is asking for $11 million in damages.
Art's lawyer, Pat Crispo, dismissed the entire lawsuit as "frivolous" and insisted Shamsky is free of sexual disease. "This is the act of a very angry ex-wife who has maligned him in the press."
Shamsky played for the Mets from 1968 to 1971 and batted .300 in 1969 when he platooned with Ron Swoboda.
Something About That Mouse Pisses People Off
One restaurant is getting reputation nationwide as a place where wild brawls frequently break out, often between drunken customers.
The last place you'd think I was talking about is Chuck E. Cheese, but police have been called to break up 12 fights, some of them physical, at the child-oriented pizza parlor since January 2007. And that's only at the Brookfield, Wisconsin location.
The biggest melee broke out in April, when an uninvited adult disrupted a child's birthday party. Seven officers arrived and found as many as 40 people knocking over chairs and yelling in front of the restaurant's music stage, where a robotic singing chicken and the chain's namesake mouse perform.
Fights among guests are an issue for all restaurants, but security experts say they pose a particular problem for Chuck E. Cheese's, since it is designed to be a haven for children. Law-enforcement officials say alcohol, loud noise, thick crowds and the high emotions of children's birthday parties make the restaurants more prone to disputes than other family entertainment venues.
The environment also brings out what security experts call the "mama-bear instinct." A Chuck E. Cheese's can take on some of the dynamics of the animal kingdom, where beasts rush to protect their young when they sense a threat.
Amid pressure from local politicians, some Chuck E. Cheese's have stopped serving alcohol and added security guards who carry pistols.
CEC has been tightening safety rules to deter fighting in other ways. In Milwaukee, the store posted a sign outlining a dress code that prohibits what it calls "gang-style apparel." That location also implemented a code of conduct that prohibits knives, chains, screwdrivers and glass cutters. CEC is considering systemwide signs at popular games such a machine that draws digital pictures of customers to let people know there may be a time or token limit. Making the machines more expensive to use is another option, but Mr. Huston says that is "inconsistent with our value message."
In Pennsylvania, Susquehanna Township police are searching for suspects involved in a Nov. 9 altercation at a Chuck E. Cheese's outside Harrisburg. The police department gets called to respond to disputes at the restaurant as many as 15 times a year, Police Chief Robert Martin says.
This most recent assault, described in police reports, occurred after a woman in her 30s approached a 6-year-old boy who was playing a videogame. When the boy went to insert more tokens to continue playing, the woman grabbed the tokens out of his hand and told him to stop hogging the game. The boy went and got his 26-year-old mother, who walked over to the woman. The woman began screaming at the boy's mother, and another suspect, a man in his 30s, grabbed the mother by the throat and pushed her against the videogame machine. CEC employees had to pull the man off the mother. Both the man and the woman fled the scene.
In Toledo, Ohio, four women were charged with disorderly conduct after a melee erupted at a Chuck E. Cheese's there last year. According to police reports, it started when parents complained to the restaurant manager that children were loitering at the drawing machine. The children were Barbie Clifton's daughters, then 14 and 10 years old. Ms. Clifton had come out of the bathroom when she saw a woman yelling at her daughters and her friend.
That touched off a fight between more than 10 people, in which participants punched and screamed at each other. One woman removed the red rope that marks the entrance queue and handed it to another woman, who swung the metal clip attached to it at others involved in the incident.
Reginold Bell, a 45-year-old Milwaukee social worker, says that a child "assaulted" his 8-year-old son at a local Chuck E. Cheese's while the boy was playing in the Sky Tubes, a jungle gym with slides. Mr. Bell confronted the man who appeared to be the child's father, setting off an argument in which the man "used some vulgar vernacular," says Mr. Bell, who reported the incident to the police department.
The last place you'd think I was talking about is Chuck E. Cheese, but police have been called to break up 12 fights, some of them physical, at the child-oriented pizza parlor since January 2007. And that's only at the Brookfield, Wisconsin location.
The biggest melee broke out in April, when an uninvited adult disrupted a child's birthday party. Seven officers arrived and found as many as 40 people knocking over chairs and yelling in front of the restaurant's music stage, where a robotic singing chicken and the chain's namesake mouse perform.
Fights among guests are an issue for all restaurants, but security experts say they pose a particular problem for Chuck E. Cheese's, since it is designed to be a haven for children. Law-enforcement officials say alcohol, loud noise, thick crowds and the high emotions of children's birthday parties make the restaurants more prone to disputes than other family entertainment venues.
The environment also brings out what security experts call the "mama-bear instinct." A Chuck E. Cheese's can take on some of the dynamics of the animal kingdom, where beasts rush to protect their young when they sense a threat.
Amid pressure from local politicians, some Chuck E. Cheese's have stopped serving alcohol and added security guards who carry pistols.
CEC has been tightening safety rules to deter fighting in other ways. In Milwaukee, the store posted a sign outlining a dress code that prohibits what it calls "gang-style apparel." That location also implemented a code of conduct that prohibits knives, chains, screwdrivers and glass cutters. CEC is considering systemwide signs at popular games such a machine that draws digital pictures of customers to let people know there may be a time or token limit. Making the machines more expensive to use is another option, but Mr. Huston says that is "inconsistent with our value message."
In Pennsylvania, Susquehanna Township police are searching for suspects involved in a Nov. 9 altercation at a Chuck E. Cheese's outside Harrisburg. The police department gets called to respond to disputes at the restaurant as many as 15 times a year, Police Chief Robert Martin says.
This most recent assault, described in police reports, occurred after a woman in her 30s approached a 6-year-old boy who was playing a videogame. When the boy went to insert more tokens to continue playing, the woman grabbed the tokens out of his hand and told him to stop hogging the game. The boy went and got his 26-year-old mother, who walked over to the woman. The woman began screaming at the boy's mother, and another suspect, a man in his 30s, grabbed the mother by the throat and pushed her against the videogame machine. CEC employees had to pull the man off the mother. Both the man and the woman fled the scene.
In Toledo, Ohio, four women were charged with disorderly conduct after a melee erupted at a Chuck E. Cheese's there last year. According to police reports, it started when parents complained to the restaurant manager that children were loitering at the drawing machine. The children were Barbie Clifton's daughters, then 14 and 10 years old. Ms. Clifton had come out of the bathroom when she saw a woman yelling at her daughters and her friend.
That touched off a fight between more than 10 people, in which participants punched and screamed at each other. One woman removed the red rope that marks the entrance queue and handed it to another woman, who swung the metal clip attached to it at others involved in the incident.
Reginold Bell, a 45-year-old Milwaukee social worker, says that a child "assaulted" his 8-year-old son at a local Chuck E. Cheese's while the boy was playing in the Sky Tubes, a jungle gym with slides. Mr. Bell confronted the man who appeared to be the child's father, setting off an argument in which the man "used some vulgar vernacular," says Mr. Bell, who reported the incident to the police department.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Spelling Bee Champion Greeted With Congratulations, a Big Sign and Irony
Seventh-grader Michael Smith won the spelling bee at Carmel Middle School in Charlotte.
He then went on to a larger bee involving students from other schools. He finished third.
To congratulate him, the next day when he arrived at school he was greeted by a giant sign congratulating him.
Only problem, his name was spelled wrong. And "congratulations" looked wrong too, but just because the I and O were on top of each other.
He then went on to a larger bee involving students from other schools. He finished third.
To congratulate him, the next day when he arrived at school he was greeted by a giant sign congratulating him.
Only problem, his name was spelled wrong. And "congratulations" looked wrong too, but just because the I and O were on top of each other.
Weekly Picks
Another disastrous week because of one of the shitty New York teams. Games are getting harder to pick as teams with everything to play for face teams with nothing to play for, and often lose anyway. I've got to turn this around as all of my percentages have gone to shit after a hot start.
miami -4 KANSAS CITY
This is the first game that will put my theory to the test that teams needing wins to make the playoffs often lose to horrid teams just playing out the string. I know the Dolphins have a big game against the Jets in Week 17 meaning they probably have to win both to get in the playoffs, but if they do, they win the division. Unfortunately they have had a history this season of winning close against bad teams. But 4 is a small enough number to make me feel comfortable.
philadelphia -4 WASHINGTON
The Eagles are on fire and right now the Redskins are the second worst team in the league though I'm not so sure they'd win a rematch against the Lions right now.
new orleans -7 DETROIT
The Saints are the most predictable team in the league. They will go to 8-7 this week and lose to the Panthers next week to wrap up a season where they had every possible even record. The Lions have fought hard but I think they'll get behind early and give up.
OAKLAND +7 houston
When did the Texans get to be so good that they should be a touchdown favorite on the road? Last week was an aberration, they're mediocre at best. Not good enough to win by 8 over the Raiders.
BEST BET
TAMPA BAY -3 san diego
The most underrated team in the league versus the most overrated team. When are people going to realize that the Chargers suck and worse yet phoned in their season five weeks ago. The Bucs lost 2 straight, but to strong opponents. They'll win this one to stay alive in the NFC playoff race. If they win this one, then they play Oakland next week needing to win to get in. Sounds like a dream scenario.
Last Week: 2-3 (1 point)
Season: 38-37 (43 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (10-5)
Home Favorites: 0-0 (9-15)
Home Underdogs: 1-0 (3-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (16-7)
Road Underdogs: 1-3 (9-13)
Road Pickems: 0-0 (1-1)
miami -4 KANSAS CITY
This is the first game that will put my theory to the test that teams needing wins to make the playoffs often lose to horrid teams just playing out the string. I know the Dolphins have a big game against the Jets in Week 17 meaning they probably have to win both to get in the playoffs, but if they do, they win the division. Unfortunately they have had a history this season of winning close against bad teams. But 4 is a small enough number to make me feel comfortable.
philadelphia -4 WASHINGTON
The Eagles are on fire and right now the Redskins are the second worst team in the league though I'm not so sure they'd win a rematch against the Lions right now.
new orleans -7 DETROIT
The Saints are the most predictable team in the league. They will go to 8-7 this week and lose to the Panthers next week to wrap up a season where they had every possible even record. The Lions have fought hard but I think they'll get behind early and give up.
OAKLAND +7 houston
When did the Texans get to be so good that they should be a touchdown favorite on the road? Last week was an aberration, they're mediocre at best. Not good enough to win by 8 over the Raiders.
BEST BET
TAMPA BAY -3 san diego
The most underrated team in the league versus the most overrated team. When are people going to realize that the Chargers suck and worse yet phoned in their season five weeks ago. The Bucs lost 2 straight, but to strong opponents. They'll win this one to stay alive in the NFC playoff race. If they win this one, then they play Oakland next week needing to win to get in. Sounds like a dream scenario.
Last Week: 2-3 (1 point)
Season: 38-37 (43 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (10-5)
Home Favorites: 0-0 (9-15)
Home Underdogs: 1-0 (3-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (16-7)
Road Underdogs: 1-3 (9-13)
Road Pickems: 0-0 (1-1)
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,775
During yesterday's big Northeast snowstorm Mrs. Poop and I decided to run some errands. We took Chase (sealed in a plastic bubble) and Diesel to the post office (holiday cards coming soon to a mailbox near you if we have address handy) and to the butcher (we got there just in time for the man in the fur hat to let me in before they closed) and when we got home I stayed outside to shovel.
When I was finished Mrs. Poop was making me hot cocoa. And she added little marshmallows on top, put some peppermint candies at the bottom (which melted beautifully to give it a minty taste) and topped it all off with whipped cream. A delicious delight to warm my frozen belly.
When I was finished Mrs. Poop was making me hot cocoa. And she added little marshmallows on top, put some peppermint candies at the bottom (which melted beautifully to give it a minty taste) and topped it all off with whipped cream. A delicious delight to warm my frozen belly.
Barack Obama Uses Our Favorite Word
In speaking to children at Chicago elementary school Barack Obama was asked about the new puppy he's planning to get for his daughters.
"I want to make sure my daughters take care of this dog, and if they do their business, and you've got some poop, you don't just leave it there."
"I want to make sure my daughters take care of this dog, and if they do their business, and you've got some poop, you don't just leave it there."
Friday, December 19, 2008
Let a Smile Be Your Umbrella
Most Poopheads are probably dealing with snow in one way or another (either your watching it fall through your window and enjoying it as I am or you are commuting through it and hating it) so I thought I'd bring a little sunshine to your life.
I hope this smile by Minnesota Senator Norm Coleman (who is 2 votes ahead of Al Franken) will bring a smile to your face.
I hope this smile by Minnesota Senator Norm Coleman (who is 2 votes ahead of Al Franken) will bring a smile to your face.
Bristol Palin's Baby-Daddy's Mother Arrested
A 42-year-old Wasilla woman was arrested Thursday at her home by Alaska State Troopers with a search warrant in an undercover drug investigation. Sherry L. Johnston was charged with six felony counts of misconduct involving a controlled substance.
Johnston is the mother of Levi Johnston, the Wasilla 18-year-old who received international attention in September when Gov. Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd, announced their teenage daughter was pregnant and he was the father. Bristol Palin, 18, is due on Saturday, according to a recent interview with the governor's father, Chuck Heath.
Troopers served the warrant at Johnston's home at the "conclusion of an undercover narcotics investigation," said a statement issued Thursday by the troopers as part of the normal daily summary of activity around the state.
Troopers charged Johnston with second-degree misconduct involving a controlled substance -- generally manufacturing or delivering drugs -- as well as fourth-degree misconduct involving controlled substances, or possession.
Johnston is the mother of Levi Johnston, the Wasilla 18-year-old who received international attention in September when Gov. Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd, announced their teenage daughter was pregnant and he was the father. Bristol Palin, 18, is due on Saturday, according to a recent interview with the governor's father, Chuck Heath.
Troopers served the warrant at Johnston's home at the "conclusion of an undercover narcotics investigation," said a statement issued Thursday by the troopers as part of the normal daily summary of activity around the state.
Troopers charged Johnston with second-degree misconduct involving a controlled substance -- generally manufacturing or delivering drugs -- as well as fourth-degree misconduct involving controlled substances, or possession.
Advice for TON
It has come to my attention that TON is heading to Canada this weekend to do some skiing.
As a veteran of at least 20 road trips to Canada I thought I would offer some advice for a Canada novice.
This is what you do when you are going through customs:
1) Turn the radio off. Not when you pull up to the window, but as soon as you get in a lane
2) Do not talk. Once again, this policy takes affect 5 minutes before you approach the customs agent. Use this time to formulate your story.
3) Admit to nothing. You are not bringing booze, gifts, firearms, vegetables or exotic animals to the country.
4) Prepare your travel documents. Documentation for every passenger in the car should be given to the driver and readied to hand to the agent.
5) Play man or lady. And give the person who takes lady 2 to 1 odds.
Note: failure to take these steps may result in you getting pulled over for a random search of your vehicle. Ask JLeary and FatScat about this.
As a veteran of at least 20 road trips to Canada I thought I would offer some advice for a Canada novice.
This is what you do when you are going through customs:
1) Turn the radio off. Not when you pull up to the window, but as soon as you get in a lane
2) Do not talk. Once again, this policy takes affect 5 minutes before you approach the customs agent. Use this time to formulate your story.
3) Admit to nothing. You are not bringing booze, gifts, firearms, vegetables or exotic animals to the country.
4) Prepare your travel documents. Documentation for every passenger in the car should be given to the driver and readied to hand to the agent.
5) Play man or lady. And give the person who takes lady 2 to 1 odds.
Note: failure to take these steps may result in you getting pulled over for a random search of your vehicle. Ask JLeary and FatScat about this.
The NFL is Poop - Week 15
What’s Wrong with the Giants?
The Giants were able to withstand the loss of Plaxico Burress (before he shot himself in the leg) but now his absence seems to be affecting the team a little more. Eli Manning was sacked 8 times by the Dallas Cowboys, many of those were “coverage sacks” because the Giants receivers couldn’t get open. If Burress takes up two defensive backs, that creates room for other receivers that isn’t there in his absence. But Brandon Jacobs is a much bigger loss for the team. Without him, the Giants will not repeat as Super Bowl Champions.
Miracle at the Meadowlands II
The Jets were about to see their season go up in smoke as they were about to lose for the third straight week. They trailed the Buffalo Bills 27-24 with just over 2 minutes to go. The Bills faced a 2nd and 5 on their own 27. The Bills had run all over the Jets all game and surely could have gotten 5 yards on two carries by Marshawn Lynch. Instead Dick Jauron and his staff chose to rollout quarterback J.P. Losman. He was sacked from behind and Jets lineman Shaun Ellis scooped up the ball and rumbled into the end zone for the game-winning touchdown.
Collateral Damage
Referee Jeff Triplette got leveled from behind during that Shaun Ellis return, and landed right on his face. Triplette suffered a bloodied but not broken nose and even worked the rest of the game with cotton stuffed up his nose.
Game of the Week
Pittsburgh Steelers 13 Baltimore Ravens 9
The Pittsburgh Steelers win in dramatic and incredibly lucky fashion for the second week in a row. This time they don’t have Tony Romo to thank, it’s the officials who gift-wrapped this victory. On 3rd and goal with less than a minute to go the Steelers trailed 9-6 to the Ravens in what had previously been a field goal battle. Santonio Holmes caught a Ben Roethlisberger pass with his feet on the goal line, but did he ever get the ball there? It didn’t look like it, and that was the ruling on the field. But upon further review referee Walt Coleman overturned the call. I’ve seen the play 100 times since then and I still can’t make up my mind. I have no idea how Walt Coleman thought he saw indisputable visual evidence.
Game of Next Week
Carolina Panthers at New York Giants
Unbelievably this game is for homefield advantage in the NFC playoffs. And if the Giants lose this one they'll have to win next week (or get a Vikings loss) just to stay in position for a bye. And with the way things are going right now it would be surprising if the Giants could turn it around against a very hot Panthers team.
A Brief Rant About the Redskins
I have no idea what happened to a team that got off to such a promising start. But right now they are horrible. I know there are injuries on the offensive line, but even so, losing to the Bengals is inexcusable. I don't want to see Jim Zorn get fired but he has to figure out something to right this ship for next year and to get Jason Campbell back on track.
Cheerleader of the Week
Erin of the Baltimore Ravens Cheerleaders
Erin is a part-time nanny from Ashburn, Virginia (that's Redskins country) whose career goal is to make a difference in people's lives (seems pretty vague to me). Her favorite movie is "Freedom Writers," which I have never heard of. It starts Hilalary Swank and McDreamy and it's about a teacher making a difference in people's lives. Maybe that's where Erin got the idea.
If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Pittsburgh Steelers 10 Carolina Panthers 9
Major changes in this category this week. The Titans lost to the Texans but they seem to have it in cruise control. However, I do think the Steelers can go in there and win if for no other reason than they seem to have luck and fate on their side. The problems look more serious for the Giants who are feeling the effects of injuries to their offensive line. They haven't score a real touchdown on offense in the last two games. The NFC spot in this game will be made easier for me when the Giants play the Panthers.
The Giants were able to withstand the loss of Plaxico Burress (before he shot himself in the leg) but now his absence seems to be affecting the team a little more. Eli Manning was sacked 8 times by the Dallas Cowboys, many of those were “coverage sacks” because the Giants receivers couldn’t get open. If Burress takes up two defensive backs, that creates room for other receivers that isn’t there in his absence. But Brandon Jacobs is a much bigger loss for the team. Without him, the Giants will not repeat as Super Bowl Champions.
Miracle at the Meadowlands II
The Jets were about to see their season go up in smoke as they were about to lose for the third straight week. They trailed the Buffalo Bills 27-24 with just over 2 minutes to go. The Bills faced a 2nd and 5 on their own 27. The Bills had run all over the Jets all game and surely could have gotten 5 yards on two carries by Marshawn Lynch. Instead Dick Jauron and his staff chose to rollout quarterback J.P. Losman. He was sacked from behind and Jets lineman Shaun Ellis scooped up the ball and rumbled into the end zone for the game-winning touchdown.
Collateral Damage
Referee Jeff Triplette got leveled from behind during that Shaun Ellis return, and landed right on his face. Triplette suffered a bloodied but not broken nose and even worked the rest of the game with cotton stuffed up his nose.
Game of the Week
Pittsburgh Steelers 13 Baltimore Ravens 9
The Pittsburgh Steelers win in dramatic and incredibly lucky fashion for the second week in a row. This time they don’t have Tony Romo to thank, it’s the officials who gift-wrapped this victory. On 3rd and goal with less than a minute to go the Steelers trailed 9-6 to the Ravens in what had previously been a field goal battle. Santonio Holmes caught a Ben Roethlisberger pass with his feet on the goal line, but did he ever get the ball there? It didn’t look like it, and that was the ruling on the field. But upon further review referee Walt Coleman overturned the call. I’ve seen the play 100 times since then and I still can’t make up my mind. I have no idea how Walt Coleman thought he saw indisputable visual evidence.
Game of Next Week
Carolina Panthers at New York Giants
Unbelievably this game is for homefield advantage in the NFC playoffs. And if the Giants lose this one they'll have to win next week (or get a Vikings loss) just to stay in position for a bye. And with the way things are going right now it would be surprising if the Giants could turn it around against a very hot Panthers team.
A Brief Rant About the Redskins
I have no idea what happened to a team that got off to such a promising start. But right now they are horrible. I know there are injuries on the offensive line, but even so, losing to the Bengals is inexcusable. I don't want to see Jim Zorn get fired but he has to figure out something to right this ship for next year and to get Jason Campbell back on track.
Cheerleader of the Week
Erin of the Baltimore Ravens Cheerleaders
Erin is a part-time nanny from Ashburn, Virginia (that's Redskins country) whose career goal is to make a difference in people's lives (seems pretty vague to me). Her favorite movie is "Freedom Writers," which I have never heard of. It starts Hilalary Swank and McDreamy and it's about a teacher making a difference in people's lives. Maybe that's where Erin got the idea.
If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Pittsburgh Steelers 10 Carolina Panthers 9
Major changes in this category this week. The Titans lost to the Texans but they seem to have it in cruise control. However, I do think the Steelers can go in there and win if for no other reason than they seem to have luck and fate on their side. The problems look more serious for the Giants who are feeling the effects of injuries to their offensive line. They haven't score a real touchdown on offense in the last two games. The NFC spot in this game will be made easier for me when the Giants play the Panthers.
He's Got His Work Cut Out For Him
Syracuse named Dough Marrone as new head football coach.
Marrone is the offensive coordinator for the New Orleans Saints.
I like the fact that Marrone is a Syracuse alum who wants to restore pride back to the program.
I loved the statement he made at his introductory press conference, "Today is the greatest day of my life. This is my school and these are my people. You're going to be proud, and we're going to win football games."
What I don’t like is the fact that he is not well-known and likely won’t have much pull with recruits.
And recruiting is 90% of success on the college level.
It remains to be seen if he can bring back the top high school kids to Syracuse.
But he can’t be any worse than Greg Robinson.
Marrone is the offensive coordinator for the New Orleans Saints.
I like the fact that Marrone is a Syracuse alum who wants to restore pride back to the program.
I loved the statement he made at his introductory press conference, "Today is the greatest day of my life. This is my school and these are my people. You're going to be proud, and we're going to win football games."
What I don’t like is the fact that he is not well-known and likely won’t have much pull with recruits.
And recruiting is 90% of success on the college level.
It remains to be seen if he can bring back the top high school kids to Syracuse.
But he can’t be any worse than Greg Robinson.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Could You Live Without The Poop?
A recent survey conducted by Intel asked people which they would rather give up for 2 weeks, sex or the internet. 46% of women said sex and 30% of men did. Those numbers seem really high but because like all these stupid surveys, this one is incredibly flawed. It failed to take into account that people use the internet for hours everyday. But normal people only have sex once every 2 weeks (at least that's what Mrs. Poop tells me) and for only 2 minutes at a time (at least that's what I tell Mrs. Poop).
But if you asked Poopheads, I'm pretty sure they'd all say they'd rather give up sex than the internet.
But if you asked Poopheads, I'm pretty sure they'd all say they'd rather give up sex than the internet.
Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler
A Pennsylvania couple is furious that a New Jersey Shop Rite refused to put their kid's name on his birthday cake. They're appalled that the store objected to making a cake that says "Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler."
That's right, they named their little boy Adolf Hitler Campbell. Too bad no one stopped them when they tried to put the name on his birth certificate.
Clearly the parents are Nazis as Heath Campbell named his daughters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie.
Thankfully for the Campbells a Wal-Mart was willing to make the cake the way they wanted it.
That's right, they named their little boy Adolf Hitler Campbell. Too bad no one stopped them when they tried to put the name on his birth certificate.
Clearly the parents are Nazis as Heath Campbell named his daughters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie.
Thankfully for the Campbells a Wal-Mart was willing to make the cake the way they wanted it.
Go Bowling
Pizza Parlor Derek and I will be competing in ESPN's College Bowl Mania. The object is to pick all 34 Bowl games then rank them according to confidence.
Then you have to join the group called "Paul's Poop."
Pretty simple right?
That's why I expect all of you to participate especially those of you who think you know more about college football than I do just because the school I went to has a shitty team.
It's Put Up or Shut Up Time for you State Penners.
And hurry up, the first game is Saturday, though I think you can still participate after the first few games have been played.
Then you have to join the group called "Paul's Poop."
Pretty simple right?
That's why I expect all of you to participate especially those of you who think you know more about college football than I do just because the school I went to has a shitty team.
It's Put Up or Shut Up Time for you State Penners.
And hurry up, the first game is Saturday, though I think you can still participate after the first few games have been played.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Throw the Book at the Shoe-Thrower
Sure the guy is guilty of “initiating an aggressive act against a head of a foreign state on an official visit” (which is an official criminal charge in Iraq) but of graver concern is that his actions wrought on one of my favorite WYB? Contestants. White House Press Secretary Dana Perino had her beautiful face disfigured in the skirmish following the shoe-thrower’s action. She appeared in front of the White House Press Corps sporting a black eye.
Song of the Week
"Ring of Fire" - Johnny Cash
My new boss was singing this morning and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. But I don't think he was happy when he sang "I fell in to a burning ring of fire, I went down, down, down and the flames went higher."
My new boss was singing this morning and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. But I don't think he was happy when he sang "I fell in to a burning ring of fire, I went down, down, down and the flames went higher."
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Beers's New Favorite NFL Player
More than 20 years after its release "Teen Wolf" lives on thanks to Beers who has been indoctrinating his three young sons with the movie since birth, and now thanks to Tampa Bay Buccaneers lineman, the former Greg White. White legally changed his name to Stylez G. White, in court. He modernized the name of that loveable scamp "Stiles" to come up with his new moniker.
It should be known however that Stiles is not Beers's favorite character in the movie.
He prefers, in order, Coach Bobby Finstock, Boof, Chubbs and of course the girl whose job it was to hold the jello.
It should be known however that Stiles is not Beers's favorite character in the movie.
He prefers, in order, Coach Bobby Finstock, Boof, Chubbs and of course the girl whose job it was to hold the jello.
Reports of Derrick Coleman's Demise Are Greatly Exaggerated
The former Syracuse great was besieged by phone calls after internet rumors reported that Derrick Coleman was broke.
Coleman, who earned nearly $100 million in his NBA career, says he’s doing just fine thank you.
The confusion started when Sherwood Studios announced a liquidation sale of “the entire house of furniture and accessories” from Coleman.
This part was true but Coleman says the items came from a home in Franklin Lakes, NJ that he no longer lives in.
Since his other home is now fully furnished he saw no reason to keep paying to keep the stuff from the New Jersey house in storage.
In fact, Coleman has become quite the entrepreneur in his post-playing days, becoming a Tim Horton’s franchisee.
He recently open a Tim Horton’s in Detroit, the 500th location in the U.S.
Given my combined loves of Timbits and DC, I hope to visit this location if I’m ever in Detroit.
But hopefully I’ll never be in Detroit.
Coleman, who earned nearly $100 million in his NBA career, says he’s doing just fine thank you.
The confusion started when Sherwood Studios announced a liquidation sale of “the entire house of furniture and accessories” from Coleman.
This part was true but Coleman says the items came from a home in Franklin Lakes, NJ that he no longer lives in.
Since his other home is now fully furnished he saw no reason to keep paying to keep the stuff from the New Jersey house in storage.
In fact, Coleman has become quite the entrepreneur in his post-playing days, becoming a Tim Horton’s franchisee.
He recently open a Tim Horton’s in Detroit, the 500th location in the U.S.
Given my combined loves of Timbits and DC, I hope to visit this location if I’m ever in Detroit.
But hopefully I’ll never be in Detroit.
Another Disappointment
Just when I thought this year’s SU team was different comes another letdown.
What started of as a promising season with wins over Florida and Kansas quickly became a painful reminder of the past two seasons.
Granted, the loss to Cleveland State was of the heart-breaking variety as CSU’s Cedric Jackson chucked up a 60-foot prayer with two seconds left that won the game for the Vikings.
But there’s no excuse for not pounding an inferior team, at home, during this pre-conference play lull.
SU now has a game against Canisius then a tough game against Memphis (in Memphis) looming on Saturday.
Let’s say they go into conference play with an 11-2 record.
If they finish 9-9 in the Big East (which could be a best-case scenario), that would make them 20-11.
Add another loss in the conference tournament and SU could once again find itself squarely on the bubble come March.
And I haven’t even mentioned that Eric Devendorf could get kicked out of school.
What started of as a promising season with wins over Florida and Kansas quickly became a painful reminder of the past two seasons.
Granted, the loss to Cleveland State was of the heart-breaking variety as CSU’s Cedric Jackson chucked up a 60-foot prayer with two seconds left that won the game for the Vikings.
But there’s no excuse for not pounding an inferior team, at home, during this pre-conference play lull.
SU now has a game against Canisius then a tough game against Memphis (in Memphis) looming on Saturday.
Let’s say they go into conference play with an 11-2 record.
If they finish 9-9 in the Big East (which could be a best-case scenario), that would make them 20-11.
Add another loss in the conference tournament and SU could once again find itself squarely on the bubble come March.
And I haven’t even mentioned that Eric Devendorf could get kicked out of school.
Adventures in Editing
This well-edited clip shows the absurdity of the Governor Blagojevich scandal and the media coverage of it.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Changes in Store for American Idol
American Idol has already added a 4th judge (Kara DioGuardi) for this season, but there are some other changes this season as well when the show starts on January 13th.
There will be fewer audition episodes and more Hollywood-round episodes. The shift increases the show's emphasis on talented performers and shies further away from the crash-and-burn spectacle of less-talented attention-seekers.
I'm totally in favor of this. The bad performances get annoying really quickly. And a lot of times I feel badly because I think they are picking on borderline retarded people.
Also, this fixes one of the problems with the show. Idol wannabes have often complained that in the early rounds of fan voting those people the producers chose to profile on TV had a better chance of making it through than those who were never shown. This should give more exposure to more contestants.
In order to further emphasize the focus on the most talented singers, the semifinalist rounds will feature the top 36 contestants instead of 24.
The "wild card" round will return, which gives eliminated contestants a chance to come back into the competition for one of the top finalist spots.
The network will not air an "Idol Gives Back" charity telecast next year, but does plan to hold the event in the show's ninth season. Moving forward, "Gives Back" will become an every-other-year event.
There will be fewer audition episodes and more Hollywood-round episodes. The shift increases the show's emphasis on talented performers and shies further away from the crash-and-burn spectacle of less-talented attention-seekers.
I'm totally in favor of this. The bad performances get annoying really quickly. And a lot of times I feel badly because I think they are picking on borderline retarded people.
Also, this fixes one of the problems with the show. Idol wannabes have often complained that in the early rounds of fan voting those people the producers chose to profile on TV had a better chance of making it through than those who were never shown. This should give more exposure to more contestants.
In order to further emphasize the focus on the most talented singers, the semifinalist rounds will feature the top 36 contestants instead of 24.
The "wild card" round will return, which gives eliminated contestants a chance to come back into the competition for one of the top finalist spots.
The network will not air an "Idol Gives Back" charity telecast next year, but does plan to hold the event in the show's ninth season. Moving forward, "Gives Back" will become an every-other-year event.
Let's See Obama Move Like That
President Bush shows off some quick reflexes as he dodges two shoes thrown at him by an Iraqi journalist at a press conference.
Showing someone the sole of your shoe is considered a serious insult in Iraqi culture. But the guy was so dumb, he used the actual shoes he was wearing. So not only was he shoeless, but he'll probably never get back his nice loafers. He should have bought a cheap pair and Payless and thrown those.
Also, he threw the first one, then had to bend down to take the second one off his foot. He should have had both in his hands and been ready to go. Amateur move.
Also, his exclamation his one chance to be heard around and the world and he chose to say "this is a goodbye kiss from the Iraqi people, dog."
"Sic Semper Tyrannis" would have worked much better.
And why did he throw a "dog" in there at the end. Does he think that makes him cool? It doesn't. It's like when Josh used to see his freshman year roommate and say "what's up, dog?" because he thought that's how you are supposed to talk to black people. Totally not cool.
As usual, Bush had a good sense of humor about the whole thing laughing it off and seeming thankful that it wasn't Shaquille O'Neal throwing his shoes.
Showing someone the sole of your shoe is considered a serious insult in Iraqi culture. But the guy was so dumb, he used the actual shoes he was wearing. So not only was he shoeless, but he'll probably never get back his nice loafers. He should have bought a cheap pair and Payless and thrown those.
Also, he threw the first one, then had to bend down to take the second one off his foot. He should have had both in his hands and been ready to go. Amateur move.
Also, his exclamation his one chance to be heard around and the world and he chose to say "this is a goodbye kiss from the Iraqi people, dog."
"Sic Semper Tyrannis" would have worked much better.
And why did he throw a "dog" in there at the end. Does he think that makes him cool? It doesn't. It's like when Josh used to see his freshman year roommate and say "what's up, dog?" because he thought that's how you are supposed to talk to black people. Totally not cool.
As usual, Bush had a good sense of humor about the whole thing laughing it off and seeming thankful that it wasn't Shaquille O'Neal throwing his shoes.
Oy Is This a Putz
The Mets performed an extreme makeover on their bullpen bringing in not one but two top-flight closers. And while the K-Rod signing was so obvious, there’s no way to criticize, the deal that brought JJ Putz has some potential downside.
First of all, the Mets gave up Joe Smith who was very effective against righties. I think Smith would be a great righty specialist in a good bullpen. His warts started to show when he had to face lefthanded hitters (.443 OBP vs. .281 against righties), and when he had to pitch too many days in a row.
The Mets also gave up Endy Chavez, their sole antidote to an increasingly, old, slow team that can’t run or play defense. But Endy’s biggest contributions were of the intangible variety, something the Mets were sorely lacking during the meltdowns the last two years.
They also depleted their already barren farm system. Mike Carp is projected to be an average at best major leaguer (and more suited to DH than first base) but he’s capable of providing at least the lift of youthfulness and energy that Nick Evans brought last year.
The Mets also gave up Maikel Cleto a pitcher who is still a few years away (he’s only 19) but has the best potential of the bunch.
I also wonder how Putz will accept his new role. He went from being a closer in Seattle (91 saves in the last 3 years) to having to accept a diminished 8th inning role. Hopefully, he’ll adapt and provide much-needed stability to the 8th inning, but his acquisition is not without risk.
First of all, the Mets gave up Joe Smith who was very effective against righties. I think Smith would be a great righty specialist in a good bullpen. His warts started to show when he had to face lefthanded hitters (.443 OBP vs. .281 against righties), and when he had to pitch too many days in a row.
The Mets also gave up Endy Chavez, their sole antidote to an increasingly, old, slow team that can’t run or play defense. But Endy’s biggest contributions were of the intangible variety, something the Mets were sorely lacking during the meltdowns the last two years.
They also depleted their already barren farm system. Mike Carp is projected to be an average at best major leaguer (and more suited to DH than first base) but he’s capable of providing at least the lift of youthfulness and energy that Nick Evans brought last year.
The Mets also gave up Maikel Cleto a pitcher who is still a few years away (he’s only 19) but has the best potential of the bunch.
I also wonder how Putz will accept his new role. He went from being a closer in Seattle (91 saves in the last 3 years) to having to accept a diminished 8th inning role. Hopefully, he’ll adapt and provide much-needed stability to the 8th inning, but his acquisition is not without risk.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Back in Business
I got a new job.
While I won't discuss any particulars here I'll say a few things about it.
I started Friday to train and jump in with both feet on Monday. It seems to be a lot more like what I want to do and with a smaller staff I will have more chances to do the things that will advance my career.
I'm still working overnights, only this job doesn't provide free parking so I'm taking the train in. Until I get comfortable I'll be getting in at 10:30 pm, so I have to leave home at 9:30. When I get more accustomed to it I can go in an hour later. And I will probably get home at around 10:30 am most days so it's a lot less time with Chase than I had before but it's good enough for now.
The position I'm filling is freelance so I am getting paid a day rate and not eligible for benefits. But once my benefits expire with my old job we'll switch to Mrs. Poop's, even though it's pretty expensive since she only works part time.
I also have 12 more weeks of severance coming to me from my former employer which is pretty sweet.
I was told by my new boss that if it works out with me and they like me there's a good chance the freelance position could become a permanent one. But likely that is going to be for a LOT less money than I was making.
But I'm willing to take the temporary pay cut for future glory.
I'm very happy with my new opportunity, with the chance to get back to work and with the passing of the storm cloud that was floating over my head for the past four weeks.
Thanks to all of you who helped make this possible and offered your assistance during this difficult time.
While I won't discuss any particulars here I'll say a few things about it.
I started Friday to train and jump in with both feet on Monday. It seems to be a lot more like what I want to do and with a smaller staff I will have more chances to do the things that will advance my career.
I'm still working overnights, only this job doesn't provide free parking so I'm taking the train in. Until I get comfortable I'll be getting in at 10:30 pm, so I have to leave home at 9:30. When I get more accustomed to it I can go in an hour later. And I will probably get home at around 10:30 am most days so it's a lot less time with Chase than I had before but it's good enough for now.
The position I'm filling is freelance so I am getting paid a day rate and not eligible for benefits. But once my benefits expire with my old job we'll switch to Mrs. Poop's, even though it's pretty expensive since she only works part time.
I also have 12 more weeks of severance coming to me from my former employer which is pretty sweet.
I was told by my new boss that if it works out with me and they like me there's a good chance the freelance position could become a permanent one. But likely that is going to be for a LOT less money than I was making.
But I'm willing to take the temporary pay cut for future glory.
I'm very happy with my new opportunity, with the chance to get back to work and with the passing of the storm cloud that was floating over my head for the past four weeks.
Thanks to all of you who helped make this possible and offered your assistance during this difficult time.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Weekly Picks
So the Jets fucked me again. For the second time this season I picked them on the road against a bad team and they lost outright. The Jets suck and I am never picking them again this season. But I also screwed up a couple other games and set myself back with zero points. I'll rebound.
denver +7 1/2 CAROLINA
The Panthers are getting a little overrated right now. They are always a disappointing team and even though Denver has no run defense I can see them keeping this game close.
CINCINNATI +7 washington
I never pick games involving the Redskins but their offense is so bad right now I just don't see them scoring enough points to cover.
cleveland +14 PHILADELPHIA
I'm very worried about a push here but I can definitely see the Browns putting at least a couple scores on the board here to keep this one close.
pittsburgh +1 1/2 BALTIMORE
I think the Steelers are the better team with the equal defense and better offense. But I am worried about the big mistake by Ben Roethlisberger. I will enjoy Polamalu and Reed in this one.
BEST BET
new york giants +3 DALLAS
Might as well make it five underdogs (correction: only 4 on the road) this week. There's no way the Giants lose this game this week. T.O. has already planted the seeds of discord this week. I expect Romo to work a little too hard to get him the ball which means a diminished focus on the running game and on other receivers, especially Jason Witten. I think the Giants are pissed off coming off last week's loss and though the result of this game doesn't really matter when determining home-field, they don't want to go into the Carolina game off 2 straight division losses.
Last Week: 1-4 (0 points)
Season: 36-34 (42 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (10-4)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (9-15)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (16-7)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (8-10)
Road Pickems: 0-0 (1-1)
denver +7 1/2 CAROLINA
The Panthers are getting a little overrated right now. They are always a disappointing team and even though Denver has no run defense I can see them keeping this game close.
CINCINNATI +7 washington
I never pick games involving the Redskins but their offense is so bad right now I just don't see them scoring enough points to cover.
cleveland +14 PHILADELPHIA
I'm very worried about a push here but I can definitely see the Browns putting at least a couple scores on the board here to keep this one close.
pittsburgh +1 1/2 BALTIMORE
I think the Steelers are the better team with the equal defense and better offense. But I am worried about the big mistake by Ben Roethlisberger. I will enjoy Polamalu and Reed in this one.
BEST BET
new york giants +3 DALLAS
Might as well make it five underdogs (correction: only 4 on the road) this week. There's no way the Giants lose this game this week. T.O. has already planted the seeds of discord this week. I expect Romo to work a little too hard to get him the ball which means a diminished focus on the running game and on other receivers, especially Jason Witten. I think the Giants are pissed off coming off last week's loss and though the result of this game doesn't really matter when determining home-field, they don't want to go into the Carolina game off 2 straight division losses.
Last Week: 1-4 (0 points)
Season: 36-34 (42 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (10-4)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (9-15)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (16-7)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (8-10)
Road Pickems: 0-0 (1-1)
I Hope Mike Vick Studies Asset Management in Prison
In case you were starting to feel badly for poor Michael Vick who is rotting in federal prison right now on dog-fighting charges, comes this incredible article from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution which shows just how stupid and irresponsible Vick really is.
While none of what you are about to read is illegal it goes to show what kind of person Michael Vick is. Instead of trying to repay his debt and rebuild his life he spent his last few days of freedom on a spending spree of "if I can't have it nobody can" proportions.
The day he went to jail, Michael Vick bought a $99,000 Mercedes. On Nov. 19, 2007, Vick went to a car showroom in Hampton, Va. He picked out an andorite-gray 2008 Mercedes-Benz S550 sedan and, using his bank debit card, paid in full: $99,589.71.
Then he drove it to Richmond, surrendered to federal marshals and went to jail.
Altogether on Nov. 19, 2007, Vick spent $201,840.
He cashed four checks that totaled $24,900. He gave $28,000 to the mother of his oldest child. He paid a public relations firm $23,000 and gave a friend $16,000.
But that was just some of it, he spent $18.2 million from 2006 to 2008.
Vick is now seeking bankruptcy protection from his many creditors when he gets out of jail.
From Aug. 27, 2007, the day he pleaded guilty in a Richmond federal courthouse, until Nov. 19, the day he bought the new Mercedes before reporting to jail, Vick shelled out $3,627,291.
And now his creditors (including the Falcons who are seeking to recoup about $3.75 million of bonuses paid to Vick) are furious and accusing Vick of "sheltering assets" in his own decadent way.
In 2007, documents show, he used cashier’s checks to withdraw $908,500 from his bank accounts. During a two-year period, he wrote checks payable to “cash” totaling almost $1.1 million.
But Vick's spending was out of control long before he knew he was going to jail.
Not long after joining the Falcons, Vick bought his first house: a $918,000 mini-mansion behind the gates that guard the Sugarloaf Country Club in Duluth, Georgia. Two years later, in April 2005, he upgraded to a larger house in the same neighborhood, for almost $3.8 million. Among his improvements to that property: a movie screening room and a golf simulator.
But he had the money. In 2004, after two seasons with the Falcons, he signed a new contract that, with potential bonuses, could pay him $130 million by 2013. Endorsement deals — with Nike, AirTran Airways and others — added millions more. In 2006 and 2007 alone, Vick took in almost $22 million.
He bought four more houses, all in Virginia, and began building another.
He bought a condominium in Miami Beach.
He bought interests in two farms — one in Virginia, one in Rockdale County, east of Atlanta.
He bought six Paso Fino horses, worth about $450,000.
He bought two boats, one for $100,000, the other for $125,000.
He bought cars: a Bentley, two Land Rovers, Cadillacs, an Infiniti sport utility vehicle and an Infiniti sedan, two Ford pickup trucks, a Dodge, a Chevrolet, the $99,000 Mercedes.
And he bought as much as $450,000 in jewelry. The pieces included two Swiss watches, a bracelet, a pair of diamond stud earrings, and a charm inscribed, “World is mine.”
In 2006, he bought his sister, Christina, a GMC Yukon. The next year, he gave a Lincoln Navigator to Tameka Taylor, the mother of his first child. The mother of Vick’s other two children, Kijafa Frink, got a Land Rover; her mother, a Cadillac Escalade.
He paid Frink’s mortgage and gave her $1,000 a month for clothes, court records say, and $300 for “beauty-related expenses.” He supported Taylor and their son with $3,500 a month.
For his mother, Brenda Boddie, Vick covered a $4,700-a-month mortgage and $2,100 in payments for her two Cadillacs.
In all, routine monthly bills for the mothers of Vick’s children and for his own mother came to $31,293 — more than $375,000 a year.
To run his complicated financial life, Vick in 2005 created a management and marketing company, MV7 LLC. It provided income for at least two family members, according to public records: Vick’s mother, whose salary approached $100,000 a year, and his sister, who earned about $22,000. The firm even had a retirement fund.
He also set up several other businesses, all using his name or jersey number in their names.
Divine Seven operated a Payless Car Rental franchise at the Atlanta airport. Seven Charms Farm raised horses. Vicktory Corp. oversaw family investments. Siete (Spanish for “seven”) delivered a gift of $317,000 to his mother’s church a week before Vick pleaded guilty.
In 2006, Vick personally guaranteed a $2.1 million bank loan to Divine Seven in exchange for a 60 percent stake in the company. A little over a year later, the bank declared the loan in default. It obtained a civil judgment against Vick and is trying to collect through his bankruptcy case.
In 2007, Vick put up $200,000 for a 60 percent interest in Seven Charms Farm, a 5-acre spread near Conyers. In September of this year, Rockdale County sold the property at auction to satisfy an unpaid property tax bill. The buyer got the property for $40,000.
Vick’s philanthropic efforts didn’t fare especially well, either. In 2006, the Michael Vick Foundation provided 100 backpacks to poor children in Newport News and paid for an after-school program. But the foundation spent only 12 percent of its budget — $20,590 of $171,823 — on charitable programs, according to its 2006 federal tax return. The foundation paid its fund-raiser, Susan Bass Roberts, a former spokeswoman for Vick, $97,000, the tax return shows.
The foundation ceased operations in 2006.
However, when Vick was sentenced he began setting aside money for family members. He put $625,000 into two businesses that would make monthly payments to Frink, who then was pregnant with their second child. He also gave Frink $48,000 and an SUV to keep in Leavenworth, Kan., where he would serve his sentence.
During his last weeks of freedom, though, Vick also spent $85,000 on a fish pond and $48,257 for landscaping. He bought a $31,000 Ford pickup and a $33,100 Chevrolet.
In the weeks before he went to jail, he made 48 cash withdrawals for a total of $325,945.
The Mercedes now is in the hands of a group of creditors; they recently told a bankruptcy judge they have found a buyer willing to pay $65,000. A luxury-car broker is trying to sell the rest of Vick’s vehicles.
Under bankruptcy laws, Vick will be allowed to retain ownership of one house; he chose his mother’s home in Suffolk, Va. He also is keeping $136,500 of home furnishings, $5,000 of clothes and a retirement account with a balance of $96.63.
Vick’s other houses are on the market. The proceeds of any sales would go toward paying off the mortgages.
In addition to his other debts, Vick owes more than $1.2 million in back taxes, the Internal Revenue Service told his bankruptcy judge last month. That figure may increase, the IRS said in court papers; Vick has not yet filed his 2007 return.
While none of what you are about to read is illegal it goes to show what kind of person Michael Vick is. Instead of trying to repay his debt and rebuild his life he spent his last few days of freedom on a spending spree of "if I can't have it nobody can" proportions.
The day he went to jail, Michael Vick bought a $99,000 Mercedes. On Nov. 19, 2007, Vick went to a car showroom in Hampton, Va. He picked out an andorite-gray 2008 Mercedes-Benz S550 sedan and, using his bank debit card, paid in full: $99,589.71.
Then he drove it to Richmond, surrendered to federal marshals and went to jail.
Altogether on Nov. 19, 2007, Vick spent $201,840.
He cashed four checks that totaled $24,900. He gave $28,000 to the mother of his oldest child. He paid a public relations firm $23,000 and gave a friend $16,000.
But that was just some of it, he spent $18.2 million from 2006 to 2008.
Vick is now seeking bankruptcy protection from his many creditors when he gets out of jail.
From Aug. 27, 2007, the day he pleaded guilty in a Richmond federal courthouse, until Nov. 19, the day he bought the new Mercedes before reporting to jail, Vick shelled out $3,627,291.
And now his creditors (including the Falcons who are seeking to recoup about $3.75 million of bonuses paid to Vick) are furious and accusing Vick of "sheltering assets" in his own decadent way.
In 2007, documents show, he used cashier’s checks to withdraw $908,500 from his bank accounts. During a two-year period, he wrote checks payable to “cash” totaling almost $1.1 million.
But Vick's spending was out of control long before he knew he was going to jail.
Not long after joining the Falcons, Vick bought his first house: a $918,000 mini-mansion behind the gates that guard the Sugarloaf Country Club in Duluth, Georgia. Two years later, in April 2005, he upgraded to a larger house in the same neighborhood, for almost $3.8 million. Among his improvements to that property: a movie screening room and a golf simulator.
But he had the money. In 2004, after two seasons with the Falcons, he signed a new contract that, with potential bonuses, could pay him $130 million by 2013. Endorsement deals — with Nike, AirTran Airways and others — added millions more. In 2006 and 2007 alone, Vick took in almost $22 million.
He bought four more houses, all in Virginia, and began building another.
He bought a condominium in Miami Beach.
He bought interests in two farms — one in Virginia, one in Rockdale County, east of Atlanta.
He bought six Paso Fino horses, worth about $450,000.
He bought two boats, one for $100,000, the other for $125,000.
He bought cars: a Bentley, two Land Rovers, Cadillacs, an Infiniti sport utility vehicle and an Infiniti sedan, two Ford pickup trucks, a Dodge, a Chevrolet, the $99,000 Mercedes.
And he bought as much as $450,000 in jewelry. The pieces included two Swiss watches, a bracelet, a pair of diamond stud earrings, and a charm inscribed, “World is mine.”
In 2006, he bought his sister, Christina, a GMC Yukon. The next year, he gave a Lincoln Navigator to Tameka Taylor, the mother of his first child. The mother of Vick’s other two children, Kijafa Frink, got a Land Rover; her mother, a Cadillac Escalade.
He paid Frink’s mortgage and gave her $1,000 a month for clothes, court records say, and $300 for “beauty-related expenses.” He supported Taylor and their son with $3,500 a month.
For his mother, Brenda Boddie, Vick covered a $4,700-a-month mortgage and $2,100 in payments for her two Cadillacs.
In all, routine monthly bills for the mothers of Vick’s children and for his own mother came to $31,293 — more than $375,000 a year.
To run his complicated financial life, Vick in 2005 created a management and marketing company, MV7 LLC. It provided income for at least two family members, according to public records: Vick’s mother, whose salary approached $100,000 a year, and his sister, who earned about $22,000. The firm even had a retirement fund.
He also set up several other businesses, all using his name or jersey number in their names.
Divine Seven operated a Payless Car Rental franchise at the Atlanta airport. Seven Charms Farm raised horses. Vicktory Corp. oversaw family investments. Siete (Spanish for “seven”) delivered a gift of $317,000 to his mother’s church a week before Vick pleaded guilty.
In 2006, Vick personally guaranteed a $2.1 million bank loan to Divine Seven in exchange for a 60 percent stake in the company. A little over a year later, the bank declared the loan in default. It obtained a civil judgment against Vick and is trying to collect through his bankruptcy case.
In 2007, Vick put up $200,000 for a 60 percent interest in Seven Charms Farm, a 5-acre spread near Conyers. In September of this year, Rockdale County sold the property at auction to satisfy an unpaid property tax bill. The buyer got the property for $40,000.
Vick’s philanthropic efforts didn’t fare especially well, either. In 2006, the Michael Vick Foundation provided 100 backpacks to poor children in Newport News and paid for an after-school program. But the foundation spent only 12 percent of its budget — $20,590 of $171,823 — on charitable programs, according to its 2006 federal tax return. The foundation paid its fund-raiser, Susan Bass Roberts, a former spokeswoman for Vick, $97,000, the tax return shows.
The foundation ceased operations in 2006.
However, when Vick was sentenced he began setting aside money for family members. He put $625,000 into two businesses that would make monthly payments to Frink, who then was pregnant with their second child. He also gave Frink $48,000 and an SUV to keep in Leavenworth, Kan., where he would serve his sentence.
During his last weeks of freedom, though, Vick also spent $85,000 on a fish pond and $48,257 for landscaping. He bought a $31,000 Ford pickup and a $33,100 Chevrolet.
In the weeks before he went to jail, he made 48 cash withdrawals for a total of $325,945.
The Mercedes now is in the hands of a group of creditors; they recently told a bankruptcy judge they have found a buyer willing to pay $65,000. A luxury-car broker is trying to sell the rest of Vick’s vehicles.
Under bankruptcy laws, Vick will be allowed to retain ownership of one house; he chose his mother’s home in Suffolk, Va. He also is keeping $136,500 of home furnishings, $5,000 of clothes and a retirement account with a balance of $96.63.
Vick’s other houses are on the market. The proceeds of any sales would go toward paying off the mortgages.
In addition to his other debts, Vick owes more than $1.2 million in back taxes, the Internal Revenue Service told his bankruptcy judge last month. That figure may increase, the IRS said in court papers; Vick has not yet filed his 2007 return.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
The Concierge Was Just Looking Out For His Own Safety and the Safety of Others
For several years, the Concierge has engaged in a subtle war with the man who held the aisle seat in the row in front of him at Shea Stadium.
Every Sunday the man would leave his tote bag adjacent to his seat, partially in the aisle.
As a form of silent protest the Concierge would step on his bag every time he descended the aisle.
While I thought the Conch was just being petty it is too bad he isn't an Ottawa Senators fan. If he were, this incident may have been avoided.
"A 21-year-old man was taken to hospital after he fell about 25 feet from the upper deck of Scotiabank Place during the second intermission of the Ottawa Senators’ victory over the Atlanta Thrashers on Wednesday night.
According to witnesses, the man sailed headfirst past and over a few stunned onlookers in the rows ahead of his seat before tumbling over the low railing at the bottom of the third level and falling onto a row of seats in the level below.
Senators president and CEO Roy Mlakar said the man was carrying two beers when he stumbled over a purse.
“He was not inebriated,” said Mlakar, who confirmed that the man had been treated on the scene for lacerations and that he was taken to a hospital as a precautionary measure.
“He seems fine, he’s totally cognizant. He recognizes that there’s nothing serious.”
He added that two other people the man landed on in the section below also were treated at the scene, and that a third person, a 33-year-old woman, sustained a non-critical neck injury and also was taken to a hospital for precautionary reasons.
Mlakar said it was the first such accident in the 13-year-old arena’s history."
Every Sunday the man would leave his tote bag adjacent to his seat, partially in the aisle.
As a form of silent protest the Concierge would step on his bag every time he descended the aisle.
While I thought the Conch was just being petty it is too bad he isn't an Ottawa Senators fan. If he were, this incident may have been avoided.
"A 21-year-old man was taken to hospital after he fell about 25 feet from the upper deck of Scotiabank Place during the second intermission of the Ottawa Senators’ victory over the Atlanta Thrashers on Wednesday night.
According to witnesses, the man sailed headfirst past and over a few stunned onlookers in the rows ahead of his seat before tumbling over the low railing at the bottom of the third level and falling onto a row of seats in the level below.
Senators president and CEO Roy Mlakar said the man was carrying two beers when he stumbled over a purse.
“He was not inebriated,” said Mlakar, who confirmed that the man had been treated on the scene for lacerations and that he was taken to a hospital as a precautionary measure.
“He seems fine, he’s totally cognizant. He recognizes that there’s nothing serious.”
He added that two other people the man landed on in the section below also were treated at the scene, and that a third person, a 33-year-old woman, sustained a non-critical neck injury and also was taken to a hospital for precautionary reasons.
Mlakar said it was the first such accident in the 13-year-old arena’s history."
How Could They Not Have Shown This?
Last night I watched UFC's Fight for the Troops ("they fight for us, now we fight for them") and I enjoyed a pretty good night of action. But then I saw that this happened on one of the fights on the undercard (those not shown on TV) and I'm shocked that they didn't fit this into the telecast.
Here's Corey Hill vs. Dale Hartt
"Stop the fight! Stop the fight!" Joe Rogan is so awesome.
Ridiculous! And I thought the guy who chose "snap" in a snap or tap situation got a bad injury, but that was nothing compared to this.
By the way, I started watching the show a little late and to catch up I scanned through all of the stories about the troops who got injured in Iraq and are now suffering traumatic brain injury. Is that wrong?
Here's Corey Hill vs. Dale Hartt
"Stop the fight! Stop the fight!" Joe Rogan is so awesome.
Ridiculous! And I thought the guy who chose "snap" in a snap or tap situation got a bad injury, but that was nothing compared to this.
By the way, I started watching the show a little late and to catch up I scanned through all of the stories about the troops who got injured in Iraq and are now suffering traumatic brain injury. Is that wrong?
If This Were TON's Blog
If this were TON's blog, the title of the post about the hilarious "Jizz in My Pants" video would have been "JT Has the Same Effect on Me."
I watched the video several times and didn't notice that Gay-T was the convenience store janitor, until TON pointed it out.
I watched the video several times and didn't notice that Gay-T was the convenience store janitor, until TON pointed it out.
Million Dollar Interception
I've recently been dabbling in an espn.com game called streak for the cash. The premise, you pick a side in some pre-selected propositions (not just winners and losers) and the first one to put together a streak of 25 wins a million dollars.
Two players had 24-game streaks snapped before BigSam1122 won his 24th. BigSam sat on a potential million dollars for a week before selecting the Pittsburgh Steelers to beat the Dallas Cowboys straight up for a million bucks.
Can you imagine how BigSam (now revealed as Samuel Louis-Charles) must have been shitting his pants when the Steelers went down 13-3. And imagine his celebration when Tony Romo threw that horrible interception that won him a million bucks. He said he screamed like a girl.
He was in Bristol to collect his check and talk to Mike and Mike about it.
I don't know about you, but if I were in this situation I would have put about $100,000 or as much as I could scrounge up on the Cowboys in this one. Seems like the perfect chance to hedge your bets.
Two players had 24-game streaks snapped before BigSam1122 won his 24th. BigSam sat on a potential million dollars for a week before selecting the Pittsburgh Steelers to beat the Dallas Cowboys straight up for a million bucks.
Can you imagine how BigSam (now revealed as Samuel Louis-Charles) must have been shitting his pants when the Steelers went down 13-3. And imagine his celebration when Tony Romo threw that horrible interception that won him a million bucks. He said he screamed like a girl.
He was in Bristol to collect his check and talk to Mike and Mike about it.
I don't know about you, but if I were in this situation I would have put about $100,000 or as much as I could scrounge up on the Cowboys in this one. Seems like the perfect chance to hedge your bets.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Meadow Has the Same Effect on Me
Jamie-Lynn Sigler stars in a Saturday Night Live Digital Short.
"Jizz in My Pants!" Hilarious. By the way, the other hot chick was Molly Sims.
Story Suggested by TON
"Jizz in My Pants!" Hilarious. By the way, the other hot chick was Molly Sims.
Story Suggested by TON
Why Nails Didn't Go To Work Today
Nails has been well known to use some unusual excuses for not going to work. There was the time he called in "crazy" when he thought he hallucinated people knocking on his door several times throughout the night (it was actually a neighborhood-wide search for a missing girl). One time he called in "madness" to watch the NCAA tournament with me.
Today, he called in "gay."
A gay couple from Hollywood organized "A Day Without a Gay." The protest asked people to call in "gay" from work in support of gay marriage.
Nails was happy to do his part and spent the day staring at the Visanthe Shiancoe post. Look at the comments section.
Today, he called in "gay."
A gay couple from Hollywood organized "A Day Without a Gay." The protest asked people to call in "gay" from work in support of gay marriage.
Nails was happy to do his part and spent the day staring at the Visanthe Shiancoe post. Look at the comments section.
The Dangers of Locker Room Cameras
The locker room is last bastion of privacy for professional athletes. Women, children and television cameras that enter the locker room do so at their own risk. Which is why FOX cameras were caught in an uncomfortable situation. The situation being -- they showed Visanthe Shiancoe's cock. The cameras were capturing a speech from owner Zygi Wilf, while a naked Shiancoe stood behind him.
Why don't networks ever broadcast the postgame speeches from the cheerleaders' locker room?
And if you absolutely have the see the NSFW picture of Visanthe Shiancoe's penis, enjoy yourself. And no, I won't list the names of everyone who clicks on the link in a future post.
Story suggested by SCZA in an e-mail entitled "I jerked off 3 times to this"
Why don't networks ever broadcast the postgame speeches from the cheerleaders' locker room?
And if you absolutely have the see the NSFW picture of Visanthe Shiancoe's penis, enjoy yourself. And no, I won't list the names of everyone who clicks on the link in a future post.
Story suggested by SCZA in an e-mail entitled "I jerked off 3 times to this"
And Mets Fans Finally Have Something to Cheer About
The Mets addressed their biggest weakness by signing closer Francisco Rodriguez aka K-Rod for 3 years and 37 million dollars.
It's a great move, but a pretty obvious one. With the Mets bullpen in complete shambles (even with a healthy Billy Wagner), they needed a closer desperately now that Wagner will likely miss the entire year.
The Mets filled their biggest need, with the best available option and did so relatively cheaply. For instance, three years ago the Mets spent $6 million more (albeit for one more year) on Billy Wagner. So they gave an extra year to a closer who was 8 years older then than K-Rod is now. Obviously the market for top closers isn't as big as K-Rod thought.
But there are some worries that come along with this signing.
While his stats are incredible, some of his underlying numbers are cause for concern.
His hits are on the rise, while his strikeouts are falling. He also blew 7 saves last year, which means he failed about 10% of the time.
Will Mets fans tolerate that rate?
Some are also concerned about his durability because his velocity was down last year and he is getting older (he'll be 27 on Opening Day) leading to worries he could be exiting an early prime.
Also he has never been a 2-inning pitcher and likely won't be with the Mets.
Despite those worries this was a great move for the Mets, a crucial first step toward building a team that won't implode (from the bullpen out) next September.
It's a great move, but a pretty obvious one. With the Mets bullpen in complete shambles (even with a healthy Billy Wagner), they needed a closer desperately now that Wagner will likely miss the entire year.
The Mets filled their biggest need, with the best available option and did so relatively cheaply. For instance, three years ago the Mets spent $6 million more (albeit for one more year) on Billy Wagner. So they gave an extra year to a closer who was 8 years older then than K-Rod is now. Obviously the market for top closers isn't as big as K-Rod thought.
But there are some worries that come along with this signing.
While his stats are incredible, some of his underlying numbers are cause for concern.
His hits are on the rise, while his strikeouts are falling. He also blew 7 saves last year, which means he failed about 10% of the time.
Will Mets fans tolerate that rate?
Some are also concerned about his durability because his velocity was down last year and he is getting older (he'll be 27 on Opening Day) leading to worries he could be exiting an early prime.
Also he has never been a 2-inning pitcher and likely won't be with the Mets.
Despite those worries this was a great move for the Mets, a crucial first step toward building a team that won't implode (from the bullpen out) next September.
Song of the Week
"Obstacle 1" - Interpol
My favorite song from Guitar Hero: World Tour. The song supposedly describes a man reflecting on a recent break-up.
"Her stories are boring and stuff."
My favorite song from Guitar Hero: World Tour. The song supposedly describes a man reflecting on a recent break-up.
"Her stories are boring and stuff."
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
The NFL is Poop - Week 14
You Wanna Crown Em, Then Crown Their Ass
A funny thing happened on the way to a second straight Super Bowl. The Giants played like crap against the Eagles (zero points generated by their offense in the first 58 minutes) and now they will have to fight the Panthers for home field advantage in the playoffs. If the Panthers win this week (at home against Denver) or the Giants lose (in Dallas), when the two teams meet in Week 16 (a game that was flexed by NBC to the Sunday night slot) it will be for that number one seed in the NFC.
And Meanwhile Across Town
The New York Jets went from Subway Super Bowl talk to possibly missing the playoffs. How does a team beat the Patriots and Titans then lose to the Broncos and 49ers? And Brett Favre wasn't even really to blame in this one. Sure he threw an interception but a bigger culprit was the defense which got pushed around by the 49ers and allowed them to hold the ball for nearly 40 minutes. Third downs were also key (as indicated by time of possession). San Francisco converted on 8 of 16 while the Jets were only 1 of 10 on third down. The Jets play Buffalo and Seattle but their fate could still be decided in Week 17 against the Dolphins.
A Team That Will Go Down in Infamy
The Detroit Lions may have let their last best chance for a victory slip through their fingers. With games remaining against the Colts, Saints and Packers, beating the Vikings seemed to be their shot to avoid the first 0-16 season in NFL history. Note: The Tampa Bay Buccaneers went winless, but during a 14-game schedule. The Lions had a 13-10 lead entering the 4th quarter and the normally inept Tarvaris Jackson was in at QB for the Vikings. But Jackson led the Vikings on two scoring drives and the Vikings won 20-16, sinking the Lions even deeper.
Game of the Week
Pittsburgh Steelers 20 Dallas Cowboys 13
A gutty win for the Steelers but a game the Cowboys never should have lost. Dallas did just about everything wrong yet they were still winning 13-3 with 9 minutes left in the game. To that point they had overcome 2 interceptions, a fumble and 2 short failed attempts on fourth down. But it was Romo's last interception that stuck the dagger in their hearts. After the Steelers first touchdown of the game with 2 minutes to go, the Cowboys took over at their own 15 yard line on their second play, a miscommunication between Tony Romo and Jason Witten led to an interception returned for a touchdown by Deshea Townsend. Just another on the growing list of heartbreaking losses for the Cowboys in the Tony Romo era.
Game of Next Week
Pittsburgh Steelers are Baltimore Ravens
There's going to be some hitting in this one. Two great defensive teams will be on display meaning it could be the offenses that decide this one. Ben Roethlisberger seems to have a clear advantage over Joe Flacco but I could see Big Ben making a key mistake and getting picked by Ed Reed. Plus this one is in Baltimore. A lot is at stake here. The winner could very well earn the second seed and a bye in the AFC playoffs. While the loser would be the 5th seed even though it could quite possibly have a better record than the division winners from the West and the East.
A Brief Rant About the Redskins
They are absolutely horrible right now. They can't do a thing on offense. They have now scored 53 points in the their last 5 games, combined. I know they've played some good defenses (Pittsburgh, Giants, Baltimore) but this is ridiculous. Jason Campbell went to an MVP candidate to a question mark for the future. I know the offense line hasn't been protecting him (and now Samuels is out for the season) but Zorn's playcalling has become so vanilla he's putting the team in difficult 2nd and long situations too often.
Oh, and Shaun Suisham has to be cut.
Cheerleader of the Week
Lisa of the Carolina TopCats
If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Tennessee Titans 20 New York Giants 14
The Giants loss was disheartening but probably just a blip on their radar screen. If they don't play well against the Cowboys and Panthers, it could reveal a serious problem, namely missing Plaxico Burress a little more than expected. The power conference for years has been the AFC. When Tom Brady went down it seemed like the NFC was taking over. But right now Tennesse, Indianapolis, Pittsburgh and Baltimore are all on fire while the NFC doesn't seem so strong anymore.
A funny thing happened on the way to a second straight Super Bowl. The Giants played like crap against the Eagles (zero points generated by their offense in the first 58 minutes) and now they will have to fight the Panthers for home field advantage in the playoffs. If the Panthers win this week (at home against Denver) or the Giants lose (in Dallas), when the two teams meet in Week 16 (a game that was flexed by NBC to the Sunday night slot) it will be for that number one seed in the NFC.
And Meanwhile Across Town
The New York Jets went from Subway Super Bowl talk to possibly missing the playoffs. How does a team beat the Patriots and Titans then lose to the Broncos and 49ers? And Brett Favre wasn't even really to blame in this one. Sure he threw an interception but a bigger culprit was the defense which got pushed around by the 49ers and allowed them to hold the ball for nearly 40 minutes. Third downs were also key (as indicated by time of possession). San Francisco converted on 8 of 16 while the Jets were only 1 of 10 on third down. The Jets play Buffalo and Seattle but their fate could still be decided in Week 17 against the Dolphins.
A Team That Will Go Down in Infamy
The Detroit Lions may have let their last best chance for a victory slip through their fingers. With games remaining against the Colts, Saints and Packers, beating the Vikings seemed to be their shot to avoid the first 0-16 season in NFL history. Note: The Tampa Bay Buccaneers went winless, but during a 14-game schedule. The Lions had a 13-10 lead entering the 4th quarter and the normally inept Tarvaris Jackson was in at QB for the Vikings. But Jackson led the Vikings on two scoring drives and the Vikings won 20-16, sinking the Lions even deeper.
Game of the Week
Pittsburgh Steelers 20 Dallas Cowboys 13
A gutty win for the Steelers but a game the Cowboys never should have lost. Dallas did just about everything wrong yet they were still winning 13-3 with 9 minutes left in the game. To that point they had overcome 2 interceptions, a fumble and 2 short failed attempts on fourth down. But it was Romo's last interception that stuck the dagger in their hearts. After the Steelers first touchdown of the game with 2 minutes to go, the Cowboys took over at their own 15 yard line on their second play, a miscommunication between Tony Romo and Jason Witten led to an interception returned for a touchdown by Deshea Townsend. Just another on the growing list of heartbreaking losses for the Cowboys in the Tony Romo era.
Game of Next Week
Pittsburgh Steelers are Baltimore Ravens
There's going to be some hitting in this one. Two great defensive teams will be on display meaning it could be the offenses that decide this one. Ben Roethlisberger seems to have a clear advantage over Joe Flacco but I could see Big Ben making a key mistake and getting picked by Ed Reed. Plus this one is in Baltimore. A lot is at stake here. The winner could very well earn the second seed and a bye in the AFC playoffs. While the loser would be the 5th seed even though it could quite possibly have a better record than the division winners from the West and the East.
A Brief Rant About the Redskins
They are absolutely horrible right now. They can't do a thing on offense. They have now scored 53 points in the their last 5 games, combined. I know they've played some good defenses (Pittsburgh, Giants, Baltimore) but this is ridiculous. Jason Campbell went to an MVP candidate to a question mark for the future. I know the offense line hasn't been protecting him (and now Samuels is out for the season) but Zorn's playcalling has become so vanilla he's putting the team in difficult 2nd and long situations too often.
Oh, and Shaun Suisham has to be cut.
Cheerleader of the Week
Lisa of the Carolina TopCats
If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Tennessee Titans 20 New York Giants 14
The Giants loss was disheartening but probably just a blip on their radar screen. If they don't play well against the Cowboys and Panthers, it could reveal a serious problem, namely missing Plaxico Burress a little more than expected. The power conference for years has been the AFC. When Tom Brady went down it seemed like the NFC was taking over. But right now Tennesse, Indianapolis, Pittsburgh and Baltimore are all on fire while the NFC doesn't seem so strong anymore.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Weekly Picks
Tough week as 2 of my losses came by half a point, but that's the way it goes sometimes. We're heading down the home stretch of the season where desperate teams start to play out-of-it teams. That leads to a lot of big spreads, but those games don't always turn out how we expect them to. After a phenomenal week for the road team, 14 of 16 favorites are at home this week.
DENVER -9 kansas city
The Chiefs beat the Broncos once this year. It won't happen again.
miami +1 BUFFALO
The Dolphins are the better team here and this game is being played in Toronto which makes it something of a neutral-site game.
NEW YORK GIANTS -7 philadelphia
I'm going to this game, the Giants always win when I go to their games. Usually because they are playing the Redskins. I did see Eli Manning's infamous performance against the Vikings last year, but this time I expect the Giants to blitz McNabb and renew calls for his head.
jacksonville +7 CHICAGO
Even though Jacksonville sucks this spread it a little high for an iffy Bears team to be able to cover.
BEST BET
new york jets -3 1/2 SAN FRANCISCO
Exactly the game I'm looking for, good team coming off a bad loss, bad team coming off a good win. No way the Jets don't win this game and they could win by a field goal and let me down as they have done so often, but I think they'll come out with a strong performance in this one.
Last week: 2-3 (3 points)
Season: 35-30 (42 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (10-3)
Home Favorites: 0-1 (9-13)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (16-6)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (7-9)
Road Pickems: 0-0 (1-1)
DENVER -9 kansas city
The Chiefs beat the Broncos once this year. It won't happen again.
miami +1 BUFFALO
The Dolphins are the better team here and this game is being played in Toronto which makes it something of a neutral-site game.
NEW YORK GIANTS -7 philadelphia
I'm going to this game, the Giants always win when I go to their games. Usually because they are playing the Redskins. I did see Eli Manning's infamous performance against the Vikings last year, but this time I expect the Giants to blitz McNabb and renew calls for his head.
jacksonville +7 CHICAGO
Even though Jacksonville sucks this spread it a little high for an iffy Bears team to be able to cover.
BEST BET
new york jets -3 1/2 SAN FRANCISCO
Exactly the game I'm looking for, good team coming off a bad loss, bad team coming off a good win. No way the Jets don't win this game and they could win by a field goal and let me down as they have done so often, but I think they'll come out with a strong performance in this one.
Last week: 2-3 (3 points)
Season: 35-30 (42 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (10-3)
Home Favorites: 0-1 (9-13)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (16-6)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (7-9)
Road Pickems: 0-0 (1-1)
Is This the Way the Rooney Rule is Supposed to Work?
The NFL has a policy called the "Rooney Rule" which requires teams to interview a minority candidate for a head coaching vacancy. Even though this sometimes results in a dog and pony show it's a good rule because the biggest challenge for a young black head coach is getting seen as head coach material. Also, once the name is out there it gives the prospective coach the chance to interview, to get used to the process, and maybe impress some people.
But an unintended consequence of the rule is manifesting itself this year.
The St. Louis Rams, evidently happy with their interim head coach Jim Haslett probably intend to give him the head coaching position. However, doing so would violate the Rooney Rule, so they can't name Haslett without a full offseason interview process.
The San Francisco 49ers are equally impressed with their head man Mike Singletary and if they intend to give him the permanent title, no such obstacle stands in their way because Singletary is black.
Haslett is taking the high road saying he believes in the Rooney Rule so much that he wants it to be followed, even to his own detriment.
Kudos to Haslett, to the Rooneys who followed through on the rule by naming Omar Epps, I mean Mike Tomlin as their head coach, and to the NFL for having such a rule.
But isn't there a way to avoid a system where white coaches aren't penalized for essentially, being white?
But an unintended consequence of the rule is manifesting itself this year.
The St. Louis Rams, evidently happy with their interim head coach Jim Haslett probably intend to give him the head coaching position. However, doing so would violate the Rooney Rule, so they can't name Haslett without a full offseason interview process.
The San Francisco 49ers are equally impressed with their head man Mike Singletary and if they intend to give him the permanent title, no such obstacle stands in their way because Singletary is black.
Haslett is taking the high road saying he believes in the Rooney Rule so much that he wants it to be followed, even to his own detriment.
Kudos to Haslett, to the Rooneys who followed through on the rule by naming Omar Epps, I mean Mike Tomlin as their head coach, and to the NFL for having such a rule.
But isn't there a way to avoid a system where white coaches aren't penalized for essentially, being white?
Friday, December 05, 2008
A Minor Concession
I've always been the foremost (and perhaps only) defender of the BCS for determining college football's champion.
My main defense has always been simple, it preserves the integrity of the regular season and it works. But this year may be a little different. Throughout its checkered history the BCS has almost always managed to secure a national title game between the top two teams as recognized by just about everyone. It hasn't always been "fair" but the games have usually pitted the two best teams against each other, which is much better than the hold system and likely better than the title games we'd get with a playoff.
Here's what's different about this year: the 3-way dance in the Big 12 South. With Texas, Oklahoma and Texas Tech each going 1-1 in round robin play there's no fair way to determine a winner.
Most evaluators would say Oklahoma is the best team but Texas beat them. But you can't make a simple case of head-to-head because Texas Tech, also with one loss, beat Texas.
The best thing that could happen would be for Oklahoma to lose the Big 12 title game to Missouri giving Texas the spot in the title game against the Alabama-Florida winner. No one would argue with the fairness of that except the idiots from USC and Penn State who would say only conference winners should get to play in the title game.
But the truth is Oklahoma is going to beat Missouri and play Florida for the title. And while I still think those are the best two teams out there, Texas would be the first 1-loss team to legitimately say they were screwed by the BCS.
My main defense has always been simple, it preserves the integrity of the regular season and it works. But this year may be a little different. Throughout its checkered history the BCS has almost always managed to secure a national title game between the top two teams as recognized by just about everyone. It hasn't always been "fair" but the games have usually pitted the two best teams against each other, which is much better than the hold system and likely better than the title games we'd get with a playoff.
Here's what's different about this year: the 3-way dance in the Big 12 South. With Texas, Oklahoma and Texas Tech each going 1-1 in round robin play there's no fair way to determine a winner.
Most evaluators would say Oklahoma is the best team but Texas beat them. But you can't make a simple case of head-to-head because Texas Tech, also with one loss, beat Texas.
The best thing that could happen would be for Oklahoma to lose the Big 12 title game to Missouri giving Texas the spot in the title game against the Alabama-Florida winner. No one would argue with the fairness of that except the idiots from USC and Penn State who would say only conference winners should get to play in the title game.
But the truth is Oklahoma is going to beat Missouri and play Florida for the title. And while I still think those are the best two teams out there, Texas would be the first 1-loss team to legitimately say they were screwed by the BCS.
Even the Mascots at Penn State Are Criminals
The Penn State senior who plays the Nittany Lion mascot will miss the Rose Bowl after being suspended for violating team rules.
The school suspended James Sheep after he was charged with DUI.
The university says Sheep will not participate in school events or attend the Rose Bowl game or events. Penn State cheerleading coach Curt White says Sheep will resume his duties in 2009.
University police say Sheep was pulled over on campus around 3:15 a.m. on Nov. 22, hours before Penn State's game against Michigan State.
The school says another member of the cheerleading squad will serve as mascot until Sheep returns.
The school suspended James Sheep after he was charged with DUI.
The university says Sheep will not participate in school events or attend the Rose Bowl game or events. Penn State cheerleading coach Curt White says Sheep will resume his duties in 2009.
University police say Sheep was pulled over on campus around 3:15 a.m. on Nov. 22, hours before Penn State's game against Michigan State.
The school says another member of the cheerleading squad will serve as mascot until Sheep returns.
The Universe Gives Mrs. Poop Candy
I have often rambled on about the strange ability of the Universe to bring us exactly what we need and deserve.
During a stroll through CVS in early November I bought a bag of candy on sale for 50% off. Mostly I wanted the lemonheads but the package promised a wide assortment of candy. When I cracked open the bag, Mrs. Poop was anxious to try the Chewy Atomic Fireballs advertised on the package, and was very dismayed that we got 5 boxes of Appleheads but no Chewy Atmoic Fireballs.
So I sent an e-mail to the Ferrara Pan Candy Company:
"I recently purchased a bag of your Halloween assortment. The bag was advertised to include Lemonheads, Grapeheads, red hots and chewy atomic fireballs. I was very disappointed to find that were no chewy atomic fireballs in my bag. Not one. I realize that product assortment might vary, but not including the product at all? Very disappointing."
And this was their reply:
"An equal mix of all flavors are blended on a common conveyor then fed into the scale area where the bags are packed by weight."
That is the letter in its entirety.
Mrs. Poop was furious. Angrier than when no one comments on a cute picture of Chase.
But a few days later one of her co-workers brought in some leftover Halloween candy and amongst the goodies was a box of Chewy Atomic Fireballs, which Mrs. Poop brought home for us to share. The Universe comes through again.
And by the way, Mrs. Poop ate one, said they were too hot and I ate the rest.
During a stroll through CVS in early November I bought a bag of candy on sale for 50% off. Mostly I wanted the lemonheads but the package promised a wide assortment of candy. When I cracked open the bag, Mrs. Poop was anxious to try the Chewy Atomic Fireballs advertised on the package, and was very dismayed that we got 5 boxes of Appleheads but no Chewy Atmoic Fireballs.
So I sent an e-mail to the Ferrara Pan Candy Company:
"I recently purchased a bag of your Halloween assortment. The bag was advertised to include Lemonheads, Grapeheads, red hots and chewy atomic fireballs. I was very disappointed to find that were no chewy atomic fireballs in my bag. Not one. I realize that product assortment might vary, but not including the product at all? Very disappointing."
And this was their reply:
"An equal mix of all flavors are blended on a common conveyor then fed into the scale area where the bags are packed by weight."
That is the letter in its entirety.
Mrs. Poop was furious. Angrier than when no one comments on a cute picture of Chase.
But a few days later one of her co-workers brought in some leftover Halloween candy and amongst the goodies was a box of Chewy Atomic Fireballs, which Mrs. Poop brought home for us to share. The Universe comes through again.
And by the way, Mrs. Poop ate one, said they were too hot and I ate the rest.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Funny or Douchey?
Betty James, the woman who came up with the name "Slinky" for her husband's toy invention, died at age 90.
She fell down the stairs.
When I told Mrs. Poop that joke she didn't laugh at all. But I know you Poopheads have a much better sense of humor. So is that joke about Betty James funny or douchey?
She really died of congestive heart failure.
She fell down the stairs.
When I told Mrs. Poop that joke she didn't laugh at all. But I know you Poopheads have a much better sense of humor. So is that joke about Betty James funny or douchey?
She really died of congestive heart failure.
Song of the Week
"Live Your Life" - T.I. featuring Rihanna
Two of the worst artists out there right now combine to come up with a pretty good song.
Two of the worst artists out there right now combine to come up with a pretty good song.
The NFL is Poop - Week 13
You're Hot Then You're Cold
The Denver Broncos lost at home 31-10 to the Raiders, and the next week they beat the Jets 34-17 on the road. The Jets kill the Titans on the road, then lose to the Broncos at home. The Raiders destroy the Broncos in Denver, then come home and lose to the Chiefs. It makes no sense. The Buffalo Bills score 54 points one week, then the next week at home against the 49ers they score 3. And Matt Cassel comes off two of the best weeks ever for a QB and goes 19 for 39 with 2 interceptions. And Donovan McNabb gets benched, his career obituary is written, then he throws 4 touchdowns and Eagles fans love him agian. Hard to figure.
Road-Field Advantage
I always say the home-field advantage is vastly overrated in the NFL, especially by those who set point spreads and those who wager on them. But to see 10 of 11 road teams win on Sunday afternoon surprised even me.
The Giants Are Awesome
Too bad they laid that stinker against the Browns on Monday Night earlier this season otherwise they could very well be headed for a perfect 19-0 sesaon. Over the last two years they have lost Tiki Barber, Jeremy Shockey, Michael Strahan, Osi Umenyiora and now Plaxico Burress and they are playing better than ever. They quickly excised the Plaxico distraction with a suspension and they seem to have receivers (Steve Smith, Domenik Hixon). I really don't see anyone beating this team the rest of the year and I fully expect them to win their second straight Super Bowl. And that's not an attempt at a reverse jinx.
A Brief Rant About the Redskins
This week the Redskins just got beat by a better team. But what happened to the strong ball control offense the Redskins used to run off a 6-2 record to start the season? They could hardly get a first down in this game. They only had the ball for 24 minutes in this game, but that's only because they had it for the last 6 minutes. Before the Giants stopped playing it was 36 to 18 in time of possession. Jim Zorn needs to open the playbook a little and let Campbell pass more on first down. The offense is too predictable.
The Redskins have to win all 4 of their remaining games to make the playoffs, which is unlikely. If they only win they'll need some help from the Falcons and Cowboys.
And Shaun Suisham should be cut.
Game of the Week
Carolina Panthers 35 Green Bay Packers 31
The Packers actually outplayed the Panthers in this one but they settled for three Mason Crosby field goals, whereas the Panthers got it in each time, scoring on 5 1-yard touchdown runs (four from DeAngelo Williams). The third Mason Crosby field goal gave the Packers a 31-28 lead with 1:57 to go. Some have said the Packers should have gone for it on 4th and goal from the one knowing they couldn't stop the Panthers. But I think they made the right move on 4th down (could have tried a pass on 3rd down though). Unfortunately for them the Panthers got a big kick return, a big pass play, and then the game-winning touchdown.
Game of Next Week
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Carolina Panthers
Both of these teams sit at 9-3 and the winner can essentially lock up the 2 seed in the NFC playoffs. The Bucs are perennially overachieving, and the Panthers are prone to underachieving but the matchup of styles here should be an interesting one. And it comes on Monday Night so it should get good ratings even though neither of these teams necessarily has a high-profile among NFL fans.
Cheerleader of the Week
Lindsey Dudley of the Denver Broncos Cheerleaders
Lindsey is in her second year on the squad and when she's not cheering or working she likes to take baths, paint her nails and nap. I'm with her on two out of three of those. But I hate bathing. She describes herself as dedicated, genuine and sassy. A sassy black woman, I like it.
If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
New York Giants 31 Tennessee Titans 14
I knew the Jets weren't going to stay here long but they dashed hopes of an all-New York (subway?) Super Bowl. Right now there is no team out there that can beat the Giants and I don't expect that to change over the course of the next four weeks.
The Denver Broncos lost at home 31-10 to the Raiders, and the next week they beat the Jets 34-17 on the road. The Jets kill the Titans on the road, then lose to the Broncos at home. The Raiders destroy the Broncos in Denver, then come home and lose to the Chiefs. It makes no sense. The Buffalo Bills score 54 points one week, then the next week at home against the 49ers they score 3. And Matt Cassel comes off two of the best weeks ever for a QB and goes 19 for 39 with 2 interceptions. And Donovan McNabb gets benched, his career obituary is written, then he throws 4 touchdowns and Eagles fans love him agian. Hard to figure.
Road-Field Advantage
I always say the home-field advantage is vastly overrated in the NFL, especially by those who set point spreads and those who wager on them. But to see 10 of 11 road teams win on Sunday afternoon surprised even me.
The Giants Are Awesome
Too bad they laid that stinker against the Browns on Monday Night earlier this season otherwise they could very well be headed for a perfect 19-0 sesaon. Over the last two years they have lost Tiki Barber, Jeremy Shockey, Michael Strahan, Osi Umenyiora and now Plaxico Burress and they are playing better than ever. They quickly excised the Plaxico distraction with a suspension and they seem to have receivers (Steve Smith, Domenik Hixon). I really don't see anyone beating this team the rest of the year and I fully expect them to win their second straight Super Bowl. And that's not an attempt at a reverse jinx.
A Brief Rant About the Redskins
This week the Redskins just got beat by a better team. But what happened to the strong ball control offense the Redskins used to run off a 6-2 record to start the season? They could hardly get a first down in this game. They only had the ball for 24 minutes in this game, but that's only because they had it for the last 6 minutes. Before the Giants stopped playing it was 36 to 18 in time of possession. Jim Zorn needs to open the playbook a little and let Campbell pass more on first down. The offense is too predictable.
The Redskins have to win all 4 of their remaining games to make the playoffs, which is unlikely. If they only win they'll need some help from the Falcons and Cowboys.
And Shaun Suisham should be cut.
Game of the Week
Carolina Panthers 35 Green Bay Packers 31
The Packers actually outplayed the Panthers in this one but they settled for three Mason Crosby field goals, whereas the Panthers got it in each time, scoring on 5 1-yard touchdown runs (four from DeAngelo Williams). The third Mason Crosby field goal gave the Packers a 31-28 lead with 1:57 to go. Some have said the Packers should have gone for it on 4th and goal from the one knowing they couldn't stop the Panthers. But I think they made the right move on 4th down (could have tried a pass on 3rd down though). Unfortunately for them the Panthers got a big kick return, a big pass play, and then the game-winning touchdown.
Game of Next Week
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Carolina Panthers
Both of these teams sit at 9-3 and the winner can essentially lock up the 2 seed in the NFC playoffs. The Bucs are perennially overachieving, and the Panthers are prone to underachieving but the matchup of styles here should be an interesting one. And it comes on Monday Night so it should get good ratings even though neither of these teams necessarily has a high-profile among NFL fans.
Cheerleader of the Week
Lindsey Dudley of the Denver Broncos Cheerleaders
Lindsey is in her second year on the squad and when she's not cheering or working she likes to take baths, paint her nails and nap. I'm with her on two out of three of those. But I hate bathing. She describes herself as dedicated, genuine and sassy. A sassy black woman, I like it.
If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
New York Giants 31 Tennessee Titans 14
I knew the Jets weren't going to stay here long but they dashed hopes of an all-New York (subway?) Super Bowl. Right now there is no team out there that can beat the Giants and I don't expect that to change over the course of the next four weeks.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
The NHL Will Not Tolerate Insults Aimed at Elisha Cuthbert, and Neither Will I
Former Ranger Sean Avery's greatest skill as a hockey player is making himself a pest. And his greatest skill off the ice is banging hot chicks, even if some suspect he does it to hide the fact that he's a homo. Avery dated a Poop favorite, Elisha Cuthbert, and had some interesting comments about her when he arrived in Calgary to play the Flames, the team of Cuthbert's new boyfriend Dion Phaneuf.
The NHL suspended Avery indefinitely for his comments, which were deemed "inappropriate public comments." While I totally disagree with him calling Elisha "sloppy seconds" and I would take after she gang banged the entire NHL, I don't believe Avery said anything that bad. So he is angry at his ex-girlfriend and doesn't like her new boyfriend. It's not like he called her a cunt, or even a bitch. There shouldn't be a rule that you have to be nice to everyone all the time.
The NHL suspended Avery indefinitely for his comments, which were deemed "inappropriate public comments." While I totally disagree with him calling Elisha "sloppy seconds" and I would take after she gang banged the entire NHL, I don't believe Avery said anything that bad. So he is angry at his ex-girlfriend and doesn't like her new boyfriend. It's not like he called her a cunt, or even a bitch. There shouldn't be a rule that you have to be nice to everyone all the time.
Poor Mrs. Poop
I just dropped her off at the emergency room because she's been in horrible pain for the last two days. She thinks her kidney stones may have come back.
She didn't want me to stay with her because she didn't want Chase to be in the ER.
So poor Mrs. Poop is sitting there alone, she even refused to bring a book or portable DVD player.
UPDATE: Mrs. Poop is home from the hospital. She has a 4mm kidney stone and an enlarged spleen. She has to piss out the stone and hopefully the spleen will return to its normal size on its own.
She didn't want me to stay with her because she didn't want Chase to be in the ER.
So poor Mrs. Poop is sitting there alone, she even refused to bring a book or portable DVD player.
UPDATE: Mrs. Poop is home from the hospital. She has a 4mm kidney stone and an enlarged spleen. She has to piss out the stone and hopefully the spleen will return to its normal size on its own.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
A New Twist on an Old Saw
I often tell people who complain about aging "the only thing worse than getting older is not getting older."
Well my current situation has led me to rethink that old platitude and I've decided "the only thing worse than going to work everyday is not going to work everyday."
Well my current situation has led me to rethink that old platitude and I've decided "the only thing worse than going to work everyday is not going to work everyday."
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Cougar Has No Couth
A 38-year-old Iowa fan and her lover were cited for having sex in the bathroom at the Metrodome as the Hawkeyes played the Minnesota Gophers.
Police were tipped off by the crowd of 15 people in the men's room cheering. When the cop approached he saw 2 pair of feet in the handicapped stall, both with underwear around the ankles.
The woman, 38, was turned over to her husband. The man, 26, was turned over to his girlfriend.
That's how awesome cougars are. Her husband was at the game but she's fucked him before. She wanted something new and younger and if she had to get it in the filthy stall in the men's room at a football stadium, well then, that's what she would do.
Police were tipped off by the crowd of 15 people in the men's room cheering. When the cop approached he saw 2 pair of feet in the handicapped stall, both with underwear around the ankles.
The woman, 38, was turned over to her husband. The man, 26, was turned over to his girlfriend.
That's how awesome cougars are. Her husband was at the game but she's fucked him before. She wanted something new and younger and if she had to get it in the filthy stall in the men's room at a football stadium, well then, that's what she would do.
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