I'm Gonna Be a Hot Commodity at the Pool This Summer

According to the internet, something called "dad bod" is the newest trend this season. If true, Mrs. Poop is going to have to spend her summer fighting off the lifeguards from trying to take her man.

"What do Simon Cowell, Jason Segel and Leonardo DiCaprio all have in common (apart from global fame and fortune)? They all boast a 'Dad Bod'.
A what-bod, you cry? Well, allow us to explain: the Dad Bod is the latest trend for the male physique.
Where once women craved six-packs that could grate cheese and biceps the size of tree trunks, now a cuddly torso and gentle paunch is all that's required, according to a blog post written by US student Mackenzie Pearson that has since gone viral.
In her post, Mackenzie describes the Dad Bod as "a nice balance between a beer gut and working out". She continues: "The dad bod says, 'I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time.' It's not an overweight guy, but it isn't one with washboard abs, either."
Mackenzie argues that the physique is a hit with women because it is non-threatening, comfortable to cuddle up to and honest in the sense that it probably won't undergo any drastic transformation within the next 20 years (note: you don't have to be a father to have a Dad Bod; in fact it is perfectly acceptable to have one when you're still in your twenties). "While we all love a sculpted guy, there is just something about the dad bod that makes boys seem more human, natural, and attractive," she states.
The concept was an immediate hit with nicely squishy men everywhere, who took to Instagram without delay to show off their less-than-toned torsos and chunky arms. The account "Collegedadbods" has been quietly gaining momentum since the beginning of this year and has now become a fully-fledged homage to regular guys in all their glory."