Thursday, December 25, 2008

The NFL is Poop - Week 16

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Teams -- To Lose Anyway
There five games pitting teams that needed to win to boost their playoff chances and against teams that were mathematically eliminated. Of those teams only the Dolphins and Bears won (and not convincingly) but the Broncos (to the Bills), the Jets (to the Seahawks) and the Eagles (to the Redskins) all lost. It makes no sense, but it should once again prove to you that those television talking heads who preach about the "desperate" team, are dead wrong.

Run Out of Town
In the Old West there would be a shootout at the corral and the losing Cowboy would be run out of town, never to return again. That's sort of what happened to the Dallas Cowboys who will likely never play in Texas Stadium again. When the Cowboys scored with four minutes left to cut the lead to 19-17, that's when the Ravens ran them out of town. Next play, Willis McGahee runs for a 77-yard touchdown. The Cowboys offense picks the defense up with a 2-minute touchdown drive to get back within 2 points. Next play, Leron McClain runs for an 82-yard touchdown. And pretty much knocked Dallas out of the playoffs an into their new billion dollar stadium.

One Game From History
The Detroit Lions are about to do it. If they can't beat the Packers on Sunday they will be the first team in NFL history to go 0-16. What's interesting about this is that the Lions don't really have a good excuse. The Tampa Bay Bucs were an expansion team. Some other all-time bad teams lost key players to injury. Sure the Lions have had quarterback trouble, and they traded Roy Williams midseason, but they're just brutally bad. But maybe this all-time worst season will encourage the owners to completely clean house and bring in a team of executives and coaches who can turn this thing around for good.

Game of the Week
New York Giants 34 Carolina Panthers 28

We would all be lucky if this turned out to be the NFC Championship game. This was a great, competitive, well-played game. Something tells me if these two teams do meet again the Panthers will spend a little more time game-planning for Derrick Ward. Ward ran for 215 yards on 15 carries including a 51-yarder in overtime that pretty much ended the game.

Game of Next Week
Denver Broncos at San Diego Chargers

A lot subplots to this game. Most importantly, the winner makes the playoffs and the loser doesn't. Also, it's the last game of the regular season, in prime time on NBC. The Chargers will be looking to make up for a bitter lose at the hands of the Broncos (and Ed Hochuli) earlier this year which torpedoed their season. And finally, Philip Rivers and Jay Cutler hate each other.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
It's really nothing to get excited about but it was nice to beat a division rival and knock them out of the playoffs. In fact it makes it even more painful that at 8-7, the Redskins could have been in great playoff position if they hadn't lost games to two horrible teams (the Rams and Bengals). Even one victory in those 2 games (especially against the Rams) would be enough to keep them alive, assuming everything else stayed the same. But the real problems with this team were revealed in this game even though they won. They cannot make plays to win games. The offense can't make a key first down to keep themselves on the field. And the defense can't get make the third down stop to get themselves off the field. And that's what happened on the last drive by the Eagles that came up inches short.

Cheerleader of the Week
Alicia of the Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders
Alicia is one of the hottest Asian cheerleaders on any squad in the NFL. She also says she'd love to be a pro poker player, which is a plus and she can drive stick shift in 4 inch heels, which I think is a plus. However she refused to answer the key question asked to all Eagles cheerleaders "Geno's or Pat's?" Her answer was "Both make great cheesesteaks." I take that to mean "you think I eat cheesesteaks with this figure?"







If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
New York Giants 21 Tennessee Titans 17

Order has been restored to this space.

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