SNY Producer Gives the Mets the Shits, May Have Swine Flu

Carlos Beltran and John Maine have been hobbled by the shits this week thanks to a really bad stomach virus they may have caught from an SNY producer.

SNY producer Dan Barr was tested for swine flu and is still awaiting test results from his hospital visit after he had felt ill for several days. Barr, who flew on the team's chartered flight from LaGuardia to Pittsburgh after Sunday's home-stand finale, drove back to New York after going to a local hospital with flu-like symptoms. Doctors instructed him not to fly commercially.

While Met players insist the term "swine flu" wasn't mentioned during a briefing by trainer Ray Ramirez on the SNY employee, Met officials also said swine flu can't be ruled out.

"It has not been confirmed as swine flu that everyone is talking about, but it definitely is a case of flu," assistant GM John Ricco said. "We've been told it's not a type of illness that's transmitted through the air. It's something that's more droplets, shaking hands or sneezing. So we're not too worried.

"The symptoms we've been told generally are marked by high fever, joint aches and fatigue, and it comes on you rather quickly. It's not something that comes on in a slow fashion. These symptoms are not consistent at all with what Carlos Beltran and John Maine have at the present time [see, they have the shits]. But, again, our players are being informed that this has happened, and if they're presented with any of the symptoms I just described, to let a trainer now. Right now no one on our team is feeling any of that."