Friday, April 29, 2011

Royal Pain in the Ass

For years I have said the princess myth is the most dangerous thing we teach our young girls.
Here's why: practically from birth, every girl is told she is a princess and someday a handsome Prince Charming will come and sweep her off her feet.
Only problem is, unless she's Kate Middleton that won't happen.
And those girls will spend the rest of their lives looking for Prince Charming and he will never come.
No matter how many toads you sleep with after a few too many apple martinis, none of them will turn into Princes.
So instead women marry the wrong man, pass up the right man, or spend years of unhappiness just because they didn't find a non-existent prince.

I'm not saying women should settle, I'm saying women should be realistic, the fairy tale is never going to happen for them.

Unless they're Kate Middleton.

I went into this morning's wedding with a lot of skepticism but I have to say I enjoyed it way more than I thought I would.

Kate brings back the sleeved wedding dress

I'm not into fashion so I don't give two shits about Kate's daring fashion choice to bring sleeves back:

the Queen looks like Pac-Man

I don't care about the awful shade of yellow the Queen was wearing:

Pincess Beatrice looked as if her hat were antlers

And I don't care about the silly hats. Ok, I care a little. They are funny.

Victoria Beckham aka Posh Spice had a hat glued to her forehead

But why were so many women wearing the hats glued to their foreheads instead of atop their heads?

Pippa Middleton is hot

I do like hot chicks so I enjoyed the sister of the bride, Pippa Middleton, who is now the new hottest woman in England:


I also could have done without all the crazy media coverage, but I understand when you do four hours on a wedding you are left with nothing but hype.

And I still believe it will be only a few years before the Sun and Telegraph are full of rumors about Wills banging chicks on the side while poor Kate suffers.

But for today, for this one morning, it was a nice, enjoyable, elegant lovely wedding and all of us one-time aspiring princes and princesses could escape the reality of our own existences and be swept up into a fairy tale world of beauty, elegance, palaces, carriages and millions of adoring fans.

2 comments:

jleary said...

Yeah, her sister is smoking hot. Though, is it not poor taste in England for women other than the bride to wear white? Thought that was a no-no

Juice said...

Jleary for the win!