I don't normally consider myself a friendly or outgoing person. I'd much prefer quiet and the comforts of my own thoughts to the awkward conversation of a stranger.
But I do try to be helpful and last night that put me on the worst train ride of my life. Even worse than when a suicidal teenager delayed my commute by two hours.
A British gentleman asked me which side of the tracks our train was arriving on. Then he asked which direction we'd be going, should he transfer at hoboken or secaucus and what time we'd arrive at Penn Station. When I answered all his questions he decided he'd just follow me to Penn Station.
Problem was, he didn't stop talking for 45 minutes. I tried to look disinterested. I pecked away at my blackberry, I stared out the window but nothing deterred him. Eventually I gave in and here's what I learned about David:
-he's Jewish but he didn't put on his yarmulke until I told him I was too
-as a kid his family used to go to a hotel every year for Pesach
-Dinkins was a bad mayor
-Giuliani was a good mayor (but he misses the working girls he used to see on the West Side of Manhattan)
-Koch was a good judge on "The People's Court"
-he was in the diamond business, which took him to India where he got his shirts custom-made
-the diamond business went south and now he is working at Jared (and I should come see him if I want to buy something nice for the Mrs.)
-he's recently divorced (why is he telling me this?)
-her father was a thief (he stole one of the custom-made shirts from India in a story eerily reminiscent of a run-in I once had with Pizza Parlor Derek)
-he thinks his former father-in-law is a cunt, or so he said five times (again, why is he telling me this?)
-him and his ex-wife never had much of a sex life. She just didn't turn him on, he faked headaches, pretended to be tired and she even accused him of being gay (seriously, can anyone tell me why?)
But this is the worst thing he said "I'll be taking this train every night from now on, so I guess I'll see you tomorrow night."
Thursday, November 05, 2009
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5 comments:
Stay away from those Brits. They're nothing but trouble.
time to start driving to work again
Just tell the guy to piss off.
Dodged a bullet tonight. Instead I'm stuck with a gay college kid talking on the on the phone about how he's gonna get drunk and hook up with his roommate.
I also forgot to mention a couple more nuggets from last night.
The British guy told me he's been to two baseball games in his life. One was the Bartman game from the 2003 playoffs.
When he found out where I worked he asked me how much I make. When I didn't answer he gave me a number and asked over or under?
I missed you on the train tonight mate. Hope to see you on Monday.
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