Friday, February 12, 2010

Valentine's Day Movie

Valentine's Day is a time to put your spouse first and remind her that her needs come before your own.

It is with this in mind that I offered to take Mrs. Poop to the movies this weekend to see "Valentine's Day."

This would break our long-standing policy against doing things that would make the other partner miserable. We don't go see chick flicks, she just rents them on DVD. We don't go to sporting events together save the rare Mets game which she went to on my birthday, in part because she wanted to see CitiField.

This stands in stark contrast to the Freedos who are perfectly happy to make each other unhappy. Amber risks life and limb (and even wears a jersey) to sit amongst 100,000 uneducated violent criminals at Penn State games.

the only two educated people at a Penn State game pose for a picture with --- Freedo

In return Freedo goes to the symphony and even misses NFL Playoff games to check out the Genghis Khan exhibit at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. He must have found this preferable to cutting off his balls and storing them in formaldehyde, but I'm not so sure.

Which brings me back to Valentine's Day. The Freedos are spending it at the ballet and then the strip club (something for everyone) while Mrs. Poop and I are going to the movies.

Yes, seeing "Valentine's Day" was my suggestion, not only because I wanted to do something nice for a change, but also because I'm interested in the movie.

It has quite possibly the greatest cast ever assembled, with at least 15 actors with instant name recognition. There are:

-the legit stars (Julia Roberts, Jennifer Garner)
-the try-a-little-too-hard stars (Ashton Kutcher, Anne Hathaway)
-the black stars (Jamie Foxx, Queen Latifah)
-the hot stars named Jessica (Alba, Biel)
-the hot young stars named Taylor (Lautner, Swift)
-the stars of Gray's Anatomy with the goofy nicknames (McDreamy, McSteamy)
-the old stars (Kathy Bates, Shirley MacLaine)
-the old Hispanic stars (Hector Elizondo, George Lopez)
-the star Mrs. Poop would prefer to go to the movies with instead of me (Bradley Cooper)

This movie is only 125 minutes long. That doesn't leave much screen time for each one. And how much did they pay them all? And did each of them know what the other was getting? It will be interesting to see if this highly paid bunch produces a championship like the 2009 Yankees or if they flop and become the Worst Cast Money Could Buy like the 1992 Mets.


Freedo said...

We are actually going to Tucson and I got her cupcakes for Valentine's Day. I'm also sparing her from having to go to Tuscaloosa next September which is a gift in and of itself.

amber freed said...

Omg, I LOVE this article but not as much as Mark loved Genghis Khan!!!

Mark may not show it to the guys often, but he is always begging me to rent an old Meg Ryan movie, buy ice cream and spend a night at home.

This made me laugh so hard!!!

Freedo said...

I loved Genghis Khan so much i kept refreshing the scores on my blackberry. Mrs. Freed is obviously delirious.

master bates said...


Who the hell is Mark? And does Freedo know you're watching old Meg Ryan movies with him?

SCZA said...

Looks like it's leaning '92 Mets... Globe gave it 1 and a half stars and used the word "mess"

Nails said...

Poop--maybe Mrs. Poop would like sporting events better if your teams didn't suck.

Rumor is Freedo is getting a Gengis Khan statue built for his front lawn.

Derek said...

Can I ask a question to the ladies?

Did Bradley Cooper get much better looking in The Hangover? Because I don't remember seeing Wedding Crashers and hearing any woman say "You know who was hot, that guy that tackled everyone in the touch football game".

Not knocking Bradley Cooper or women, just curious as to whether or not he got hotter or because he played a lead now he's hot.

Damino said...

Good call Derek. I assumed it was because he played such a dick in WC that he never really got much love, but I'm definitely no expert.

Paul was Valentine's Day worth seeing? Reviews were pretty negative but if you or the Mrs. enjoyed it, it's going in our netflix queue.