At Penn State you can now major in minors.
An older woman who goes after young men is a cougar. An older man who goes after young boys is a Nittany Lion.
The Penn State Creamery discontinued the Jerry Sandusky ice cream flavor. It was banana with whipped cream and a smear of chocolate.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how old is Sandusky's boyfriend?
Say what you want about Jerry Sandusky, but he always drives slowly through a school zone.
One time Jerry Sandusky was on a plane full of kids from his Second Mile charity. The pilot said the plane was going to crash. Sandusky said "we have to save the children." Someone else said "fuck the children." Sandusky replied "do you think we have the time?"
Jerry Sandusky was always the first one ready to leave the team hotel the morning after road games. He had his shit packed the night before.
Thanks to Golzilla, Albino and JLeary for their contributions.
Monday, November 14, 2011
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18 comments:
Oh man, I feel extremely evil for finding a few of these particularly hysterical so soon after the news broke. The '1 to 10' and 'school zone' ones in particular.
The "shit packed" one was pretty damn funny too.
On a more serious note, terrible job by Sandusky's lawyer, not only letting his client admit to criminal acts on national television, but then, when asked the question, "Why would all these people, who don't know each other, independently accuse your client of sexual abuse," he answers, "there's a lot of money to be made by making these allegations" or something like that. Say "I don't know, ask them," say "there could be any number of reasons." Say anything else. But accuse alleged sexual abuse victims of extortion? Are you fucking kidding me?
What's the difference between a horse that has thrown a dozen cowboys named "Foy" and Jerry Sandusky? One bucks Foys and the other...
Thank you for your contribution. The set-up was a little convoluted but the punch line was worth it.
Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky was hospitalized today with food poisoning? He was sick from eating a 10-year-old wiener.
Why does jerry sandusky like getting shots at the doctors?
He likes feeling little pricks
Now that Sandusky has been suspended who is going to play Santa at the Second Mile Christmas party? I know Jerry always liked the kids to sit on his lap.
They got Sandusky for impersonating a priest.
Sandusky's lawyer stated "these charges are assinine and fellacious " We plan on getting these allegations behind him.. He is willing to bend over backwards ...That's the thrust of our case"
Penn State tuition too high? Ask about the lay-away plan.
What's the difference between Sandusky and PSU Pres. Spanier ? One's the lover, the other's the cover.
Why is Sandusky's lawyer having an audience with the Pope?
He's looking for an expert witness.
The progress of history...students all over the world
in the 60s, rioted to protest the Vietnam War
in the 70s, rioted against the capitalists who drove up the price of oil
in the 80s, protested US intervention in Central America
in the 90s and 00s, protested against globalization
but Penn State students riot against the firing of football coaches who cover for child molesters!
Obviously, the university of choice for the intellectually gifted and morally concerned.
Why did Jerry Sandusky have to stop going to church?
Because the priests couldn't stop fighting over who got to hear his confession!
One of the most sickening things about this whole ordeal is how a lot of people apparently saw the warning signs, yet did nothing about it...
For example, one night Jerry Sandusky & Tim Curley were watching "Pirates of the Caribbean" together, when Jerry asks, "Would you bone Keira Knightley?"
Curley replied, "She's got a skinny ass and no tits...it'd be like shagging a school boy."
Jerry replies, "Yeah, so would I."
Been looking all over for some of the best Penn State jokes. Good job guys. They will work fine in my collection. I'll share one with you. PSU fans use the Sea Of White phrase when they dress out in white at games, right? Well check out this mockery of Sea Of White. It is a Sea Of White Nudist Dating site at http://www.seaofwhite.com
It is clearly mocking Sea Of White fans. Funnyyy...
When is it shower time at Penn State? When the big hand is on the little hand.
What did the old lady say to Jerry Sandusky at the beach? Hey get out of my Sun! (son)
Q:What are 2 of Jerry Sandusky's Favorite Musical Bands?
A: THE DICKSIE CHICKS AND THE POINTER SISTERS.
Q: What's Jerry Sandusky's Favorite Connie Francis Song?
A: WHERE THE BOYS ARE.
JOEY P:Did you know that JERRY SANDUSKY IS AN EX MARINE?
JAKE: NO.
JOEY P: HE IS ALSO A VIETNAM WAR VETERAN. THAT INFO SHOULD BE PRIVATE THOUGH.
Q: What does Jerry Sandusky Sing in Church?
A: SHOWERS OF BLESSING.
What does Jerry Sandusky and carnation milk have in common? They're both white and come in little cans.
What do you all here think of this one?
I heard a rumor that the University of South Carolina will be hiring Jerry Sandusky as a football assistant coach.
I'm not surprised, myself, because he applied for the job when he found out that the boys there were Gamecocks!
Jerry Sandusky was arguing with his next door neighbor one afternoon.
Jerry said, "Hey Wilson, keep your boy out of my yard!"
Wilson said, "oh yeah? Well keep your yard out of my boy!"
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