The Poop's New Year's Message

I am going to try to be better in 2012.
I know you’re thinking “but Poop you’re fine just the way you are.” And yes, I am pretty awesome but even I can get better, and I plan to do so in the following ways:
Most importantly, I want to control my temper. I don’t get outrageously angry too often, but I shouldn’t do it ever. And I can definitely avoid getting frustrated for even a minute with Mrs. Poop or Mama Poop. I think I do a pretty good job with the kids of dispensing discipline without getting angry but I’ll try even harder this year.
I want to lose weight. I’ve had this desire for a couple years now and haven’t had the time or energy to really go after it. I’m around 204 pounds (I was as high as 212) and I hope to get down to 185 at some point. I’m going to eat healthier, especially at work, and once the weather gets nicer I’m going to go out for a run at least three times a week. And I have to drink more water.
I want to post more. I hope 2012 will be the first full year in the history of the Poop which has more posts than the year before it. 2011 sank to 343 posts, an average of less than one per day. It is hard for me to find time to work on these posts. And I do lack motivation because readership has fallen so much. I’d say only about 5 people read regularly, with another 5 checking in occasionally. But statistically it was another great year for the Poop, as Jerry Sandusky Jokes contributed about 12,000 hits, the most popular post ever. I will try to continue cranking out posts to appeal to my regular readers, and to attract Googlers.
I will be more positive. See how I didn’t say “I want to…” My life is too good to waste any time being angry or upset. Though those emotions often fuel the best posts. In those cases I will harness them for artistic purposes and let them go. I will avoid negative people this year, and continue to seek to surround myself with positive energy. Note: this will not apply to my feelings about my favorite sports teams.
Check out my New Year’s predictions for 2011. Some of them were spot-on (though Julian walking, Bones winning and Juice proposing were layups), some were way off (how did the Heat, Patriots and Phillies all lose in the playoffs?) and some were pretty close (just need unemployment to fall by 0.2% in Friday’s report).