Chase Really Wants This

Maybe the coolest product ever goes on sale today.

I'm not sure if I have the entire story correct but it seems there is a site where you make your own original Lego creations, and if enough people like it (10,000) Lego will review it and potentially start selling as a boxed set. And the designer gets 1% of the net sales, which may seem small but it really doesn't take a genius to figure out how cool the DeLorean will be. In this case the designer is going to donate his cut to the Michael J Fox Foundation. Obviously Lego needed to strike a licensing deal with the owners of the rights to Back to the Future, but with that out of the way how long before we see another Back to the Future themed set on display in my living room.

Save the clock tower!

Note: It may be a few weeks before Lego stores actually have it. But it should be on sale in time for Chase's birthday, because like I said, he really wants this.

Song of the Week

"Safety Dance" - Men Without Hats
30 years ago this song was a big hit. And there still hasn't been another song to use the word "imbecile" as effectively.

Maybe They Should Have Spent a Little More Time Looking at His Face

Jimmy Fallon (underrated show by the way) thought it would be funny to send Mets pitcher Matt Harvey around the city to ask people questions about Matt Harvey.



I know for 100% certainty that I would be able to spot Matt Harvey on a street, even in a crowd. How these people, even the ones who saw the naked ESPN pictures, couldn't recognize him is beyond me. Maybe, like JLeary, they spent too much time look at other parts of the pictures, and not Harvey's face.

Release Point, Maybe?

Here at the Poop we love first pitches, interesting ones, celebrity ones, good ones, bad ones. Especially the bad ones. And this one by pop sensation Carley Rae Jepsen may be the best (worst) I've ever seen.



I love "Call Me Maybe" (SOTW, 5/30/12) and I'm willing to forgive her since she's Canadian, but I would happily instruct her on the mechanics of throwing so she can learn the proper release point.

Half Right

Every year I say I am not going to pay attention to the All-Star game, and every year I still get sucked into the selection process. This year I had a good excuse because two very deserving players, with great backstories were on the ballot for the fans to select as the final addition to the roster. Fans got it half right.

Blue Jays relief pitcher Steve Delabar is 5-1 with a 1.71 ERA. He has some impressive advanced stats as well, striking out 12.43 batters per 9 innings and allowing only 1 homer in 41 innings (could be an element of luck there). But forget his stats, look at his story. He spent 6 years in the minor leagues and in 2009 he fractured his elbow.

It was repaired with a steel plate and 9 screws. He pretty much gave up on his baseball dream at became a substitute teacher at baseball coach at a high school in Kentucky. As the arm recovered he realized he was throwing harder than ever before. He got signed to a minor league deal with the Mariners in 2011 and by the end of the year he made his debut in the majors. Hard not to root for a guy who has been through that.



And then there's Puig who absolutely set the world on fire since his debut in June. He's batting .391 with 8 homers and 19 RBI in what amounts to basically a quarter of the season. His OPS of 1038 is incredibly and would be even higher if he ever walked. And his offense is the least exciting part of his game.



I have always had a fascination with strong-armed outfielders and throws like that make me want to watch Puig everyday. So why didn't the fans vote him in? There are some stuffy old people who hate young guys, and think they need to earn their spot, and 40 games is not enough to do so. Well, I say the all-star game is supposed to be fun and if you think watching Freddie Freeman would be more fun than watching Puig, then you are a strange and sick individual.

What makes me angrier about this is that the Blue Jays and Braves formed some unholy alliance to combine votes and get Delabar and Freeman into the game, and it seems to have worked.

The Best Prank in TV History

Whenever there's a disaster someone tries to call a local station and yell out BabaBooey or something similar. It happened during the OJ chase, it's happened to Ali Velshi, it's happened millions of times, but never this spectacularly.



KTVU in San Francisco got duped into reporting the "names" of the four pilots involved in the Asiana 214 Crash

Sum Ting Wong (Something Wrong)
Wi Tu Lo (We Too Low)
Ho Lee Fuk (Holy Fuck)
Bang Ding Ow (Bang Ding Ow)

I'm still holding out hope that this didn't really happened and we've all been duped by an elaborate hoax.

I Told You That Bitch Crazy

Everyone thought it was funny when Kris Benson and his then hot young wife Anna told Penthouse Magazine that they like to have sex at stadia and in parking lots. Except Pirates manager Llyod McClendon who said he doesn't care what his players do between the sheets, only what they do between the lines.

Most people found it amusing when Anna told Howard Stern that if Kris ever cheated on her she would fuck the whole team as revenge.

Fewer people were laughing when she showed up at the Mets Christmas party for underprivileged kids with her boobs hanging out.

Almost no one is laughing now, as Anna Benson is accused of barging into Kris's house with a gun and a metal baton, wearing a bullet-proof vest and making threats. You can listen to the 911 call he made while she was in his house.

The couple is going through a difficult divorce right now and she says she doesn't have any money and he says she was demanding he pay her $30,000.

All I know is, like Anna Benson herself, this story is only going to get uglier.

Matt Harvey Naked

Mets pitcher Matt Harvey agreed to appear in ESPN Magazine's The Body Issue, which every year features naked athletes, their bodies obscured only by the tools of their trade.
I really have no opinion on it, I think it's a desperate ploy to get attention for their magazine, not an artistic statement about the beauty of the human form. I don't think looking at the dudes for say three seconds automatically makes you gay. And I don't think the chicks they've had in here have even looked that great, even though many of them are very hot in other contexts.
So here it is Matt Harvey fans, our ace for the next 10 years, with no clothes on:

Maybe they should have had him pose with his girlfriend Anne V.

She's done some similar modeling

Song of the Week

"That Lady" - Isley Brothers
Probably the Isleys best known song, hit #6 on the U.S. chart in 1973. Lot of other good contenders from this year but I love this one because it was an early forebear of the great disco funk music to come. It's also one of Chase's favorites because it's in Swiffer commercials.

I Have an Eye For Talent

Very early on in the career of Jon Bones Jones, after I knew he had two brothers at Syracuse, and after I'd seen him fight a couple times, I knew he was destined for greatness. Jones has fulfilled his promise so now I'm on to a new prodigy.
Just hours after I wrote about the great World Series of Poker Loni Harwood was having, the Staten Island native took her seat in the final $1500 No Limit Hold Em event of the summer.
Two days later, Harwood took down the bracelet and the $609,000 first prize, pushing her total winnings for the summer to roughly $875,000.

Thanks to her victory in this event, I was able to learn a little more about her through this WSOP interview. She is born and raised in Staten Island but after college moved to Miami (that explains the Heat hat). But I still don't know why Staten Island Advance hasn't done a story on her yet. Maybe this (plus my e-mails and tweets) will get their attention).

Here's Harwood's winner interview with the very lovely Lynn Gilmartin.



Maybe she was just nervous but girls from Staten Island usually talk a lot more than this.

Just for the record, Harwood did get very lucky to win this event. She was all in with 7 players left holding AK against her opponent's pocket aces. But she caught a queen and a jack on the flop and a 10 on a river. She didn't mention that particular hand in the interview but did acknowledge "a lot of rungood." But in this event and in the previous one when she finished 4th, I noticed excellent, aggressive play from her.

Very impressed with her play and happy to call her my homegirl.

Baddest Bitch in Poker

I've been following this year's World Series of Poker very closely and one player who caught my eye is 23-year-old Loni Harwood. Though she didn't win a bracelet she did make 2 Final Tables taking 6th in a $1,500 Pot Limit Omaha-8 for $39,000 and then a 4th in a $1,500 No Limit Hold Em for $210,000.
Most interesting to me is that Harwood is from Staten Island. And though she wears a Miami Heat hat all the time (though not the same one), she certainly plays like someone from Staten Island. She has pulled off several daring bluffs which would be impressive for any player, but are especially noteworthy because she is a woman, who for lack of a better term, plays like a man.
I have been trying to find out more info on Harwood, such as what neighborhood she's from and what high school she went to, but information on the internet is scarce, and the Staten Island Advance doesn't seem to be aware of her existence. I did e-mail the sports editor there to try to get an article written about her, so we will see if that happens.
If not, we'll just have to hope she wins the Main Event so we can get some positive coverage about our wonderful island.

Song of the Week

"Denise" - Randy and the Rainbows
This was one of the toughest decisions I've ever had. I chose this because I love the doo-wop sound and I think this song though great, is probably unknown to most Poopheads. Mama and Papa Poop say they have friends who named their daughter Denise because of this song.

What Do You Give Me For Rob Kardashian and George Zimmerman?

Kim Kardashian's brother and Trayvon Martin's killer sure have gained a lot of weight since we first met them. Now they look like fat-faced twins.
What do you give me for Rob Kardashian and George Zimmerman?

You Are What Your Record Says You Are

Bill Parcells famously said "you are what your record says you are" and I believe it to be true. The Dodgers are a last place team, and the Pirates are a first place team. Things could change, but for right now the Pirates are great and the Dodgers stink.
The Mets record by month so far this year:
April 10-15
May 12-15
June 11-15

That pretty much means the Mets are exactly what they seem to be, a bad team. A consistent team, but still bad.

A Few Comments About the Gay Marriage Ruling

1) Good, great, grand! I really don't see any reason why gay people shouldn't be allowed to get married.

2) I really don't see any reason why the government has any say in anyone's marriage. The government should get out of the marriage business but not recognizing anyone's unions and by not giving any kind of tax or benefit advantages to married people over single ones.

3) It's disgusting how President Obama is trying to act like he is on the winning side of this one. He ran for President twice, both times on anti-gay marriage platform. In 5 years he didn't make a single actual effort to get DOMA overturned. He did what he always does, took the easiest position at the outset and then took credit at the conclusion.

4) Hopefully this will be the day when all the closeted gay celebrities, athletes and whomever else comes out of the closet. If being gay is not a big deal, then stop making it a big deal. Stop making it a secret for years and only coming out when you get a magazine cover out of it. If you really want to help all the poor gay teenagers who are getting picked on and bullied in schools, just come out already. The more prominent gay people who show no embarrassment about being gay, the easier it will be for society to come to accept gay people.

Song of the Week

"Your Cheatin Heart" - Hank Williams

It's time for everybody's favorite part of the year, when I got back into the archives and find songs from 10, 20, 30, 40 and 50 years ago. But this time I'm taking it 60 years, because 1953, and especially 1954 were the beginnings of the modern era of music.

What Do You Say?

What do you call this woman who is best known for her roles as Stacey Carosi on Saved By the Bell and Carrie Heffernan on King of Queens?

The Universe Wished Me a Happy Birthday

When I was much younger I let my birthday be known to co-workers. They made a huge deal out of it, embarrassingly me terribly, on TV. It was then that I decided it would be better to keep my birthday under wraps and avoid the unwanted attention in the form of people making stupid comments about my age.
But that means no cake. And because last year we bought a Fudgie the Whale cake at home and I ended up eating 19 of the 22 servings (as per the box), I decided I didn't want a cake this year.
As I left for work that morning I reminded Mrs. Poop that I was serious, a cake was not necessary.
Mrs. Poop was ok with that, the Universe wasn't. At work I have a birthday twin. She is not as bashful as I am. Her desk was decorated with about 20 mylar balloons, she was wearing a birthday tiara, and cutting a Fudgie the Whale cake.
So she got the attention she wanted.
And I got the ice cream cake I wanted.

The Only Rule of Parenting

There are many different parenting methods and approaches that can lead to raising happy, healthy, successful, well-adjusted children. And there are many good parents who try hard and the kids still come out screwed up. There is no right way to do it, and even if there were, it wouldn't be a guarantee of success.
But I do have one ruling of parenting everyone must follow: love your kids more than you love yourself.
Put their needs ahead of your own.
That's it, that's the rule. Do that and you've got a good shot. Don't do that and you are pretty much Kim Kardashian and Kanye West naming your baby girl North because you think it's funny or because it will attract more tabloid attention.
I'm still holding out hope that this North West thing is a joke and they actually went with something more normal like Kaydeins. But for a girl who did a sex tape, got pregnant by a gay rapper and wore a tiny bikini while 8 months pregnant, nothing she does will surprise me.

3000 Words

Free Bill Posters!

The Suns center-court logo is perfectly symmetrical so that it appears to be right-side up when viewed from either side of the court.

Say what you want about New Jersey but we do have some beautiful sunsets.