Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Song of the Week

"Open Your Eyes" - Bobby Caldwell
When Bobby Caldwell was new to the music industry in the 1970s, there was no internet, so if you heard a song you liked on the radio it was very hard to find out what the person who sang it looked like.
Caldwell sounded "black" but he is white and according to his Wikipedia page "Caldwell's management took certain steps — such as portraying the artist only in silhouette on the cover and in advertisements — to hide the fact that he was white."



Still this is a cool jam, sampled expertly by Common on "The Light.".

Monday, December 08, 2014

A New Kind of F or D

Rams coach Jeff Fisher sent out 6 players for the opening coin toss against the Redskins, they happened to be the six players active for Sunday's game who were acquired via the trade for RGIII. They are Stedman Bailey, Michael Brockers, Greg Robinson, Janoris Jenkins, Zac Stacy, and Alec Ogletree.





I definitely think the answer is dickish. If RGIII were playing well and Fisher wanted to say "we like our side" I would say it's funny. But doing it just to show up the Redskins now that things have gone so badly, that's just kicking a guy when he's down.

Good Guesses

I told Mrs. Poop that LeBron's new running mate was named Kevin and his last name is a verb that I do to her. She guessed "Kevin Hump" and "Kevin Annoy" before giving up.

How to Handle Fleeting Success

Thomas F. Wilson is famous for playing Biff Tannen and his progenitors and progeny in the Back to the Future movies.

Because those movies are so good and so timeless Wilson is constantly being stopped by adoring fans who ask him the same, dumb questions over and over again. He decided to print this FAQ to hand out rather than answering these mindless queries 100 times a a day.



And since he has transitioned to stand-up comedy, here's his musical comedy routine addressing the same topic:

Sunday, December 07, 2014

Weekly Picks

I'm running out of things to say about my performance. Lots of big spreads this week.

new york giants -1 1/2 TENNESSEE
I can't see the Giants losing two weeks in a row to two of the worst teams in the NFL. But if they do they have the Redskins next week so they're playing 3 horrible teams in a row, hopefully they lose all 3.

MIAMI -3 baltimore
After a subpar performance and a squeaky win against the Jets, I expect the Dolphins to rebound with a win.

buffalo +10 DENVER
I actually think there is something seriously wrong with the Broncos.

new england -3 1/2 SAN DIEGO
The Patriots aren't losing two weeks in a row.

BEST BET
MINNESOTA -5 new york jets

I actually don't think the Vikings are that bad and the Jets as we know are putrid.

Last week: 2-3 (1 point)
Season: 29-36 (24 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (4-9)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (10-14) Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 1-3 (9-9)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (8-12)

Friday, December 05, 2014

I Love Everything Except the Name

I would have gone with Jew-ber. But Schlep is pretty funny too.

Wednesday, December 03, 2014

I Have Considered Executing a Similar Stunt



But I'm pretty sure Mrs. Poop would never forgive me if I fake-killed Julian.

Song of the Week

"Suspicious Minds" - Elvis Presley
Only the second Elvis SOTW ever after "The Wonder of You" (SOTW 9/9/09)

Friday, November 28, 2014

Those Aren't Brains

Pokernews.com's Caitlyn Howe interviewed poker player Jonathan Jaffe after day 3 of WPT Montreal, an event he went on to win.
Clearly Howe was not hired because of her poker knowledge, her reporting skills and certainly not her bullshit detector.



"I'm working for the core of engineers in Vermont, I'm studying, there's an indigenous population of squirrels that are being eaten by a new invasive species of bird."
"That's incredible. What a virtuous pursuit."

There are two big reasons she got the job. You can see them here.



And here.



But she was not the only one to get duped by Jaffe. The ESPN crew (technically an outside production company working in association with ESPN) broadcasting the 2013 World Series of Poker Main Event got fooled.



Jaffe ended up finishing 42nd and ESPN eventually admitted its gaffe in not fact checking Jaffe and not giving the photoshopped picture of him feeding a dolphin closer inspection.



Enough about him, this post is really about Caitlyn Howe.




Weekly Picks

I'm 9-6 over the past 3 weeks and thankfully I finally got a best bet right. I really wanted to pick the Lions on Thanksgiving but I totally forgot to actually make it so.

new york giants -3 JACKSONVILLE
I think the Giants are a little better than their record. As long as Eli doesn't turn it over a bunch of times I expect them to beat the Jaguars easily.

cincinnati -3 1/2 TAMPA BAY
Another case of a decent team playing a bad team on the road and getting a reasonable price.

ST. LOUIS -6 1/2 oakland
The Raiders are not winning two games in a row. The only question is whether the Rams will beat them by enough. I went with the lower spread of the two choices just to avoid a potential push.

denver -2 KANSAS CITY
I thought I had it with the Broncos last week after that huge comeback but they allowed that backdoor TD to crush my dreams. Normally I would avoid picking against a good team coming off a horrible loss, but I'm not so sure the Chiefs are a good team.

BEST BET
miami -6 1/2 NEW YORK JETS

The Jets are just the worst. And the Dolphins are good, coming off a bad loss, and they need this game. Again I selected the lower of the two spreads to avoid a push.

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 27-33 (23 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (4-8)
Home Favorites: 3-2 (9-14)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (8-6)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (8-12)

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Song of the Week

"A Sky Full of Stars" - Coldplay
I have always said that had I not been a teenager on Staten Island when Wu-Tang's 36 Chambers came out "I would be listening to Coldplay like the rest of the white kids."
But it did, so I wasn't. I hated Coldplay.
But I made up my mind before I knew Coldplay sang this song. I guess I wasn't familiar enough with them to know the voice of their singer (who is more palatable now that he's not married to that pretentious copper nanotube anymore.)
Maybe I didn't know their style well enough either, though I think this is a departure from their normal genre.
I would be hypocritical if I didn't post a good song I liked just because I didn't want to seem like a cheesy white kid like Focks.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Weekly Picks

Not a bad week except for losing my best bet again.

BUFFALO -2 1/2 new york jets
I don't care when and were this game is being played. As long as there are people assigning value to something that doesn't really matter, I will pick against those schmoes.

CHICAGO -5 tampa bay
The Bears are a hard team to figure but they do have a lot of talent and I could see them rattling off a few wins now that the schedule got a little easier. Plus the ECPs had a big win last week and I don't expect them to win two in a row on the road.

DENVER -6 1/2 miami
You think they're going to hold Peyton Manning to 7 points two weeks in a row? I don't.

HOUSTON -2 cincinnati
I don't like this matchup of Andy Dalton versus the Texans defense.

BEST BET
SEATTLE -7 1/2 arizona

This is probably the biggest spread a team with the best record in the league has ever faced this deep into the season. It makes sense for some reasons but it's also designed to attract those people who are living in the past, evidently, like me.

Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 24-31 (19 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (3-8)
Home Favorites: 2-0 (6-12)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (8-6)
Road Underdogs: 1-2 (8-12)

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Song of the Week

"Don't" - Ed Sheeran
Kind of a cool funky sound that we don't normally hear in pop music.
Video is also different and interesting.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

I'd Buy It And Invite Johnny Fontaine Over

The house that served as Don Corleone's home in "The Godfather" is for sale.
The house is located at 110 Longfellow Rd in the Emerson Hill section of Staten Island.
The outside was used for the wedding scenes at the beginning of the movie. They didn't shoot in the interior of the house, but the home owners renovated it to replicate the rooms in the movie.
It is list for $2.895 million.

Monday, November 17, 2014

The Disney Reveal

We sprung a trip to Disney on Chase and Julian right after we got home from trick or treating on Halloween.



So the reaction was very underwhelming to me. Chase reacted just as I thought he would, but I expected Julian to jump and yell like he did in the famous anywhere chair video

Sunday, November 16, 2014

How Tall This Fall

2014:


2013:


2012:



2011:



2010:

about three foot four this year

2009:



2008:

how tall with daddy

2007:

how tall with mommy

Weekly Picks

No one ever went broke betting against Mark Sanchez -- except me.

CHICAGO -2 1/2 minnesota
So it hasn't been going too well for our system this year, but after an embarrassing loss in prime time in front of a huge audience I like a team to rebound.

seattle +1 1/2 KANSAS CITY
Are the Chiefs really this good? Are the Seahawks really in trouble despite pounding the Giants last week?

cincinnati +7 NEW ORLEANS
Again, embarrassing loss, but Andy Dalton can't be that bad two weeks in a row, can he?

GREEN BAY -5 1/2 philadelphia
Going to try this Sanchez thing again.

BEST BET
detroit +1 ARIZONA

Normally I have this backup quarterback theory where a team doesn't have the big dropoff we would expect when their starting QB goes down. But I just happen to really like the Lions this season.

Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 21-29 (17 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (3-7)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (4-12)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 2-1 (8-6)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (7-10)

Thursday, November 13, 2014

I Just Booked a Two-Week Trip to Hawaii for Any Woman Named Halle Berry

From the Toronto Star:
If you’re a Canadian citizen with a passport and an itch to explore the world, you may be eligible for a free trip around the world. Just one condition: your legal name has to be Elizabeth Gallagher.

Jordan Axani, a 28-year-old real estate development manager with some spare plane tickets, is willing to fund your airfare for a two-week trip around the world, provided that you’re willing to leave a few days before Christmas.

The Cabbagetown resident posted a notice on Reddit looking for a travel companion late Sunday night. He writes that the offer resulted from a break-up with his girlfriend with whom he had been planning to take the trip since March.

His search for another woman who has the same name as his ex began when he discovered what a hassle it can be to make changes to plane tickets.

“Anyone familiar with the archaic system that is modern air travel will know that a name change on a ticket is damn near impossible,” he writes on Reddit. “Moreover, the flights were purchased during a massive blow-up on Priceline and were frankly so cheap and on so many different airlines that they’re not worth the headache or money to cancel.”

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Song of the Week

"I'm Your Puppet" - James and Bobby Purify
Major quandary here deciding which version to use. James and Bobby Purify did the original so I wanted to give them credit, but I actually prefer a cover version by the great Marvin and Tammi.
But I decided to go with the original just to point out that the original "Bobby Purify" was actually Robert Dickey. And he was eventually replaced by Ben Moore.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

He's Not Here Anymore

"I'm here, and I'm there. I'm Big Bank Hank and I'm everywhere."
One of the originators of hip-hop, Big Bank Hank from the Sugar Hill Gang died today at the age of 57, which means he was only 22 when he revolutionized music with Rapper's Delight.
And don't forget Apache (SOTW, 8/22/07)



And the worst part is, now he will literally be rolling over in his grave when he sees what has become of rap music.