Thursday, June 08, 2006

Luck is the Residue of Design

MTV wants you to Spend the Night with Jessica Alba. Sounds good to me. But they actually want you to watch the MTV Movie Awards. Her boyfriend, Cash Warren, gets to spend every night with her. Really.
He's been called the luckiest man alive. But in fact Jessica didn't just pluck some dude of the street, Cash has at least some serious credentials that make his dating one of the hottest women on the planet understandable.

First of all, Cash's dad is Michael Warren. Michael Warren played on two NCAA basketball champions with Lew Alcindor at UCLA. After that he went into a career in acting where he played Bobby Hill on Hill Street Blues.

Proud pops

Warriors point guard Baron Davis was a high school phenom at Crossroads, a swanky arts and sciences school where Hollywood celebrities send their kids. While Davis was getting recruiting attention from all the big schools (he eventually chose UCLA) and leading Crossroads to a state title his backcourt mate was none other than Cash Warren. By the way, Kate Hudson was a high school classmate and friend of Cash and Baron.

faaaaaaaaaaaaaaantasic

Cash used his Hollywood connections to land a job at the William Morris agency. There he met director, Tim Story, the man behind Barbershop. Tim Story also directed Fantastic Four. Director's assistant for that movie? Cash Warren.

a lovers' gaze


Since meeting on that set Alba and Cash have attended awards shows and basketball games together and have been photographed numerous time frolicking on the beach.

Hollywood rumor is that Cash is getting ready to propose. Should they someday get married the newspapers and bloggers will rush to call Cash the luckiest man alive. But we know that luck has little to do with it.


we got to see her at the Golden Globes, he gets to see her golden globes
the Knicks suck

kiss

they snack together
they golf together


frolicking on the beach
wedgie
she's hot even when she's cooling off in the water
and he even got a cool dog out of the deal, you can tell how cool she is because she doesn't have a yorkie or a chihuahua, the pug is a man's little dog
pretty in pink pants

4 comments:

Derek said...

I have to contest this. Paul, you say Cash is a man with credentials then go on to write about who his dad was and who is friends are.

The difference between me and him is my dad is a used car salesman, my high school teammates are on the wall of a Wendy's, and my friends are well...

I still reserve the right to hate this prick.

Just kidding...love you Kliqy Cakes!

Paul said...

PPD, ever meet any hot famous chicks? No. Because you never worked as a director's assistant on a movie.

So he had access.

If you met one, would you know what to say to her? No. Because your father wasn't famous, and you didn't grow up with famous friends.

So he could talk to her.

Did you ever star on a state championship sports team? No. Because you don't have his point guard skills.

So he's got game.

Point one is the main point, he had access. Point two also proves to me that she is more normal than most Hollywood actresses and didn't want a celeb boyfriend or someone in awe of her, she wanted someone she could be comfortable around.

And I'm not pandering, just shedding a little light.

Ton said...

I don't know what to say about this guy. One part of me wants to hate him, and throw him under a bus. Another part wants to give him oral, cuz I know where its been, and its the closest I'll ever get. Maybe that's a little extreme...but hey, its Jessa Alba!

I feel like his dad is sitting in a mansion, smoking a cigar in a robe, with a diabolical grin on his face. Purposefully or not...he positioned Cash to have a great life, and it worked out. Although, if he was a chubby bald unathletic schlub, he woulda been outta luck.

Derek said...

By the way the 2004 Londonderry Lancers were the Division II STATE CHAMPS. That is why the picture is up at the Wendy's. Just had to defend that point there.