A Washington D.C. judge named Roy Pearson is suing Jin and Soo Chung and their son, who own Custom Cleaners and two other dry cleaning shops in the Fort Lincoln section of Washington, D.C. for $67 million because they lost his pants.
Pearson says in court papers that he took a pair of pants into Custom Cleaners in Fort Lincoln that year, and the pants were lost.
So Jin and Soo Chung gave Pearson a $150 check for a new pair of pants.
Three years later, Pearson says he returned to Custom Cleaners.
This time he was about to start a new job as an administrative judge. He wanted to wear a nice suit on his first day of work, but he tried on five other suits from his closet, but found them all to be "too tight."
He brought one pair of pants in for alterations and they went missing, again.
First, Pearson demanded $1,150 for a new suit. Lawyers were hired, legal wrangling ensued and eventually the Chungs offered Pearson $3,000 in compensation.
He said no.
Then they offered him $4,600.
Nope.
Finally, they offered $12,000 for the missing gray pants with the red and blue stripes.
Pearson said no.
And this is what happens when you piss off a judge. He cites DC's consumer protection laws, claiming he is entitled to $1,500 for each violation, each day during which the "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign and another sign promising "Same Day Service" was up in the store -- more than 1,200 days.
And he's multiplying each violation by three because he's suing Jin and Soo Chung and their son.
He also wants $500,000 in emotional damages and $542, 500 in legal fees, even though he is representing himself in court.
He wants $15,000 for 10 years' worth of weekend car rentals as well, because he has to drive to a different dry cleaner farther away from his home.
Pearson plans to call 63 witnesses to support his claim.
Ironically, less than a week after Pearson dropped off the missing pants the dry cleaner found them.
They tried to return them to Pearson but he said they were the wrong pants.
It is amazing to me that a judge would abuse the law this way. I think they should be forced to buy him a cheap polyester suit and it should be the only suit he's allowed to wear for the rest of his life.
3 comments:
Maybe People Will Think TWICE about saying Satisfaction Guaranteed. or Best Dry Cleaning, or Most Reliable.
Instead, you should just say Pretty (pause) Good Dry Cleaning, generally reliable and customers are more or less satisfied- That I would believe.
The first thing that popped into my head was "what a fuckin fuck face". Paul, this guy has moved into my #1 spot on 'the hate list' for at least the rest of May.
Justin, duly noted. I'll slide Osama and Ilan down the list.
Post a Comment