Gun Control

I hope this Virginia Tech incident leads to major changes in gun control laws. I know this would never happen but here is my proposal. I think it's simple and it makes sense.

No more guns!

No more guns will be manufactured or sold in the United States. Everyone who has one registered legally, we'll come to your house and pick it up and give you twice the money you spent on it. Everyone who has one illegally, (which under my rule is everyone else) getting caught with a gun is one year in prison.

I love the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, so let's amend the Constitution, we'll repeal the Second Amendment. It will no longer be your Constitutional right to kill someone.

A couple problems with this:
1) hunters. If you really wanted to hunt, use a bow and arrow, a knife or fight a deer with your bare hands. If you have the right to bear arms I should have the right to arm bears. That would teach the fuckin hunters a lesson. You've lost your right to sit in a tree and kill a deer for no good reason. Sorry. Use a pellet gun to shoot clay pigeons or something.

2) self-defense. I read the news a lot and I never remember anyone killing a crazed gunman and saving his whole family. And even if that does happen once every 100 years, those poor people who would have been saved will have to sacrifice themselves for the hundreds of kids who blow their heads off fucking around in Crazy Uncle Larry's gun closet

3) the police. Give the police, rubber bullets, tasers, tranquilizer darts, but no more guns!

4) gun store owners. Assholes! How do you live with yourself knowing that your job is to help people kill animals and worse, other people. Even Mr. Pipe had an attack of conscience once in a while for peddling cancer. This prick who sold the Va Tech gunman the gun didn't even seem remorseful. The guy who taught the 9/11 assholes how to pilot a plane (but never taught them how to land one), was grief stricken, and this douchebag says "you can't prevent these kind of things." It assholes like that who believe "if the first victim also had a gun maybe 30 people would have been saved." Maybe that's a good solution, let's all carry guns, that way you'd be unlikely to live long enough to kill more than one, maybe two people.

5) the military. Let's stop giving them guns. Let's stop sending them to war. When we get mad at a country, we drop a massive fuckin bomb right in the heart of their capital. Then we say "stop doing what you're doing or we'll kill every last one of you mother fuckers."

I know this plan would never happen, but imagine what it would be like if it did.