Save the Puppies

Brilliant article from Jack Coyle of the Associated Press. Even the byline at the end is clever and funny.

Dear Hollywood directors, producers and screenwriters:

Though hardened against many of life‘s cruelties, one subject touches a frayed nerve that, though small, has the power to instantly shatter an otherwise stoic front.

But please, spare the puppy dogs.



Yet my letter is not prompted by such heartwarming four-legged tales; it‘s your holiday blockbuster "I Am Legend." (If you haven‘t yet seen this movie of yours, beware of spoilers ahead.)

But in protecting her owner — no, partner — Sam is bitten by a hairless zombie. (There‘s an ad for an invisible fence.) Despite Mr. Smith‘s best efforts, she quickly contracts the rabies-like disease that has decimated the planet. When our hero is forced to strangle his only friend with his bare hands, he can‘t even stand to watch her death, gazing helplessly away.



Alfred Hitchcock once said he erred when he suspensefully killed a boy with a bomb in 1936‘s "Sabotage." Well, I like kids fine, but it‘s the dogs I can‘t stand to see die on the big screen. It‘s an exploitation of pathos that should be restricted by law — or at least by a "Curb Your Dog Movies" sign.

In Vittorio De Sica‘s "Umberto D" (1952), an old man, played by Carlo Battisti, is insensitively thrown out into the street, where the bleakness of homelessness awaits. He eventually tries to part with his best friend — a little pup named Flike — to save the fella from sharing in his inevitable fate.

And if that‘s not enough, here are two words to consider: Old Ye-- ... no, I can‘t even discuss that one.

The fact is that we humans are a mean bunch, so our downfalls are usually our own fault. But the soul of a dog is pure before the Michael Vicks of the world interfere.

Or, to simplify, puppy dogs never hurt nobody.

Hollywood, in the name of Lassie, throw a dog a bone.

___

AP Entertainment Writer Jake Coyle also roots for horses in Westerns.