Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The NFL is Poop - Week 12

Luckily I Don’t Have to Eat My Shorts
Thanks to Steve Johnson’s dropped ball I don’t have to live up to the boastful proclamation I made in this week’s picks, though Juice was getting the hot sauce ready and put it on youtube like this famous clip. I am really shocked the Steelers almost lost this game, especially because they had a 13-0 lead early. I thought they would just give the ball to Rashard Mendenhall and ride him to victory. They tried that but he fumbled. And even though Buffalo turned it over also, they managed to put up enough points to tie the game and set the stage for Steve Johnson’s huge drop. For the record, Johnson says he was not blaming God for dropping the ball. And for the record, if he caught it, he would have praised God, so fair’s fair.

Just Ignore Him
When I was little Master Bates used to annoy me all day long. He would say things, and do things when our parents weren’t watching. And when he finally pissed me off enough that I hit him, he claimed innocence and I was the one who got in trouble. Thankfully, the NFL knows a little better. Cortland Finnegan spent all day (and the past several years) annoying Andre Johnson (and everyone else in the league), before Johnson finally snapped on him. I think Johnson was justified, but it was still the wrong thing to do, especially punching him twice. I’m glad the NFL penalized them equally, with only fines.

Here Come the New Kids
A new young crop of wide receivers has taken over the top of the receiving statistics. Roddy White is the NFL’s top receiver, thanks to the fact that Matt Ryan throws to him pretty much on every play, no matter how wide open someone else is. Brandon Lloyd leads the NFL with 1122 yards, doubling his yardage from 6 of his 7 NFL seasons. My favorite up and comer may be Dwayne Bowe. We got to know him on Hard Knocks as a rookie, now he has 14 touchdowns, including at least one in 7 straight games, and 5 multiple TD games overall. And let’s not forget Steve Johnson who practically no one ever heard of before this year, and now he has 10 (damnit, 9) touchdown catches).

Maybe I Should Start Giving the Bears Credit
Here’s what I saw from the Bears early this year: a 19-14 win over the Lions which only happened because of Calvin Johnson’s premature celebration (not a ref’s bad call, it was Calvin Johnson’s fault), a win over the Cowboys in which the offensive line looked bad, and a game against the Giants where the line got destroyed and Cutler was sacked 10 times. Then they beat Carolina and lost two more games in row, to Seattle and Washington, both very bad teams. At that point, they were 4-3, and it was reasonable to assume they were headed downhill. Instead they won 4 in a row and over that span Cutler has 9 TDs and 3 INTs. But the wins came over Buffalo, Minnesota and Miami (3rd string QB). Now they finally beat a good team (the Vick-Eagles), but now the schedule gets a lot tougher, at Detroit, New England, at Minnesota, New York Jets, at Green Bay. I can’t see them going better than 2-3 over that span which could potentially leave them out of the playoffs, since New Orleans, Philadelphia (or Giants) and Tampa Bay could also be in contention.

This is Going to Be A Disaster
Every time I have gone to a Redskins-Giants game at the Meadowlands the Redskins have gotten absolutely destroyed (except 1991 to my recollection). This year will be no exception. The Giants are very good. The Redskins are very bad (and on a 5th string running back). And I will have to put up with 3 hours of Master Bates’s Cortland Finnegan routine.

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