Happy Recap: Blue Jays 5 Yankees 0

In baseball when one pitcher pitches all 9 innings (and the game is not tied) or 8 innings (if his team is losing on the road) it is called a complete game. I say this because what was once commonplace (Bob Gibson threw 28 complete games in 1968) is increasinly rare in baseball today.

But there is one pitcher who still pitches like it is the 1960s, and I was lucky enough to see him pitch.

Roy Halladay mowed through the Yankees to pitch a 2-hit complete game shutout as the Blue Jays won 5-0. It was Halladay's 7th complete game of the season, more than any other team in baseball about roughly 10% of the total of all pitchers this season.



Halladay is now 12-5 with a 2.88 ERA in 27 career starts against the Yankees. This was his second career shutout against them.

Joba Chamberlain pitched for the Yankees and was better than his line indicated. He allowed 3 runs for the second straight start, the most he's ever allowed in a game for his young career. But he struck out 9 and walked zero and his strikes to balls ratio was an impressive 78 to 29. He got a little unlucky on a bunt hit in the third, but allowed a couple other hits which led to two runs and he allowed a home to Rod Barajas in the 6th, but other than that I was very impressed with Joba.



There was a guy seated across the aisle from me in a Brazil soccer jersey (Kaka, Mrs. Poop's favorite international soccer star) and waving a Brazilian flag. He was most enthusiastic after Barajas's homer. But Barajas is from California. Maybe he is of Brazilian descent, but everywhere I looked it said Barajas was born in California.

The Blue Jays tacked on two more runs in the 8th on a homer by Matt Stairs. Stairs is now second all-time in games played by a player born in Canada. Before I even asked Master Bates knew that first in that category is Larry Walker. But he now leads Stairs by only 373 games, meaning 2 more years after this one and Stairs could pass him.

Blue Jays fans gave A-Rod a pretty hard time, booing him relentlessly and holding up pictures of Madonna.



Our seats were in the second row of the second deck in fair territory in right field. Nice seats to watch the game from since the whole field is in front of you, except the right field corner. Since Shea Stadium has very few seats in fair territory it was nice to get a different perspective. We saw a nice catch in right field as Joe Inglett took off from right in front of us and made a diving catch to rob Melky Cabrera of a hit.

There was another great defensive play made by the Blue Jays. On a groundball up the middle by Wilson Betemit second baseman Marco Scutaro ranged far to his right to grab the ball but realized he wouldn't be able to throw to first in time. So he flipped with his glove hand to the shortstop John McDonald who caught the flip and fired to first for the out. It's the first play in the video highlights here.

Rogers Centre (formerly SkyDome) has the teams in the opposite dugouts compared to most stadiums. The Blue Jays sit in the 3rd base dugout, the visiting team uses the first base side.

The Blue Jays do Flashback Fridays every week, wearing those great old school light blue jerseys with the old bird logo. I actually brought my Cecil Fielder 1987 Blue Jays jersey, but elected to wear my Roy Halladay jersey t-shirt instead, since he was pitching.



The Blue Jays have one of those stadium hosts who goes in the crowd and screams during the game and between innings. I hated him.

I ate a delicious bag of popcorn, a decent hot dog (Shea's are better) but in the 8th inning a guy came around with Freezees. The generic name for them is freeze pops, it's basically flavored sugar water in a sealed pouch that you freeze and eat and it's really delicious. The ones they sold all the ballpark were much bigger than what you normally see at the store, probably a foot long, and cost only $2 (approximately $1.94 American), pretty good for a ballpark snack. I had an orange one.

Even though I've been to the ersatz Dome a couple times, my last visit hadn't been for several years, so I'm glad I went and I enjoyed this masterpiece by Halladay.

Time of game: 2 hours 21 minutes

Master Bates is a Miserable Failure

I'm always going on about the strange powers the Universe has to bring us exactly what I need.
But even I was surprised to learn just how powerful the Universe really is.
Two days ago I wondered about the veracity of a NY Post story which reported John Sterling sticks his fingers in the ice cream in the press box at Yankee Stadium.
I said "I think Master Bates should contact his old camp buddy, Yankees beat writer Mark Feinsand, and get the truth of this matter."
Amazingly, as the Master was flying to Toronto for the wedding, Mark Feinsand got on the same plane as he was flying to Toronto to cover the Yankees series against the Blue Jays.
Master Bates said hello to him and they chatted briefly (they hadn't seen each other in person for at least 10 years prior to this, though they are Facebook friends), but he NEVER asked him about John Sterling!!!!!
What a waste of that which the Universe did for us.

Hot Chips Gets Heated, Goes on a Heater

I've been following the World Series of Poker online very closely but decided this year I would offer no spoilers, except for this:

Heading into Day 3 (after 4 Day 1s and 2 Day 2s) my favorite female poker player, Tiffany "Hot Chips" Michelle is still alive, and doing quite well.



She had a nice sized stack at the beginning of Day 2, but ran into some bad luck. Here's how PokerNews.com (for which she is an on-camera hostess) described the action:

"That Ain't Right
Tiffany Michelle just suffered a big beat. After an opponent raised to 2,000 preflop and Tony Antonious called, Michelle reraised to 10,000. The original raiser folded, but Antonious, who has already been given an "excessive celebration" warning, made the call.

The flop came down 2h, 7h, 10h. Antonious led out for 16,000, prompting Michelle to quickly push all in. Antonious called for less, a total of 65,000.

Antonious: Qc 10h
Michelle: Ad As

Antonious didn't have to sweat long -- the turn was the 10d and the river fell Qc to make a full house, tens full of queens, for Antonious. Michelle was described as "fuming," asking Antonious questions like, "How could you call?" When Antonious pointed out his flush draw, Michelle responded that she made it 10,000 preflop. Antonious responded by showing a photo of his house in Florida and suggesting they should both go fishing after the tournament was over.

We doubt that will happen. Michelle is still in the tournament with 24,000 chips, while Antonious now has 190,000."

Shortly after that beat Michelle slipped to a low of 8,800 and apparently stayed mad. She reported said "justice!" when Antonius took a bad beat a few hours later. She stayed between 20,000 (the starting stack size) and 40,000 for most of the day. But late in the evening she caught a couple big hands and is taking 120,000 chips (a slightly above average stack) into Day 3.

I'd love to see her make an even deeper run and get a lot of ESPN camera time. And it would be even cooler to see her at the final table which is in November.

Song of the Week

"Spend My Life With You" - Eric Benet and Tamia
The first dance for JLeary and his new bride.

Only Suzyn Waldman Knows Where Those Fingers Have Been

This comes from the New York Post's Page 6 (so it's probably not true) but it was just so funny I had to post it:

YANKEES radio announcer John Sterling is being called out for foul behavior in the stadium's press dining room. "Sterling has made a habit of walking over to the dessert table and dipping his finger into the ice cream barrel," one stadium worker told us, adding that the play-by-play vet has also used the same tablespoon to repeatedly take samples. During the Boston series, "He wandered over to the cake and pie section, broke off a piece of a cake slice, ate it and wiped his grimy hands on the linen tablecloth, leaving the remainder of the slice for someone else to eat - which indeed happened," our spy continued. A rep for WCBS Radio declined to comment, and a team spokesman said the Yankees "know nothing about it."

That really is disgusting behavior and if he's been doing that his whole career I can't imagine that another one of those grubby press types hasn't called him on it.

I think Master Bates should contact his old camp buddy, Yankees beat writer Mark Feinsand, and get the truth of this matter.

You're All Winners

Beachwood, Ohio canceled its Little League All-Star game for 9 to 12 year olds because it didn't want any kids to be left out
Fred Engh made the decision saying kids that young don't really care about achievements, they just play to have fun.
I can't even describe how much shit like this irritates me.
This decision is short sighted because it's only protecting the meek. The losers who play rightfield and strike out every time don't miss out on being named All-Stars but they still know they suck.
Why doesn't the kid who practices and works hard deserve recognition for his efforts?
I think the best way to help kids is to explain to them that everybody is good at something. Some kids are good at baseball, some aren't. If you're not good, you should still play, have fun and work hard to get better and maybe you can become an All-Star one day.

Houseguest

If you a friend with whom you would trust to host another friend of yours traveling to his city, that friend would be Freedo.
If you had a friend who you wouldn't dare suggest stay with another friend of yours, that friend would be Juice.
But despite reservations that Freedo might never talk to him again, Nails sicced Juice on Freedo and Amber this weekend.

Here's Freedo's version of how it went down:

"He arrived Saturday morning in a blaze of glory and departed Sunday evening via red-eye back to the Big Apple just as quickly as he entered our town. After a quick meal at Little Anita’s for some New Mexican food, he enjoyed the sights and sounds of the Cherry Creek Arts Festival. We then departed to show him what true baseball is all about, Coors Field and the Colorado Rockies. His one wish was to get some Rocky Mountain Oysters...cow testicles fried up Rocky Mountain Style!!!





They actually serve them at the Park, and I tried some for the first time (not bad actually). I’ve learned that up north near Fort Collins there is a place called Don’s Bar where they are world famous and have all-you-can-eat Sunday rocky mountain oysters. We had awesome seats 6 rows on top of Rockies dugout and it was a great game (12-6 Rox – Holliday 440 foot bomb to center sealed the deal).




We missed a foul ball by inches because I had a beer in my hand and Juice had slow reaction time. On Sunday we spent almost 5 hours watching the Wimbledon final. I had to endure the stress of Juice as he paced my basement trying to will his boy RodgeFed to victory, only to see Rafa Nadal win one of the greatest tennis matches of all time. He went to a wedding in Boulder on Sunday before heading back to the Big Apple via Jet Blue at 12:55AM. I’m sure he is dying right now at his desk reading this.

All I can tell you is we had an awesome time."

And Amber's version:

"It was memorable!! Crazy Justin definitely lived up to his name. I was shocked and awed by Crazy Justin on numerous occasions, the most being when he ate fried cow balls at the Rockies Game. The Rocky Mountain Oysters were DISGUSTING and some substance began oozing out of them as he ate them."

I asked Juice to respond and all he said was "you can just add was how beautiful their house is and how great hosts they are. Also, that I encourage anyone who has the opportunity to pay them a visit to do so."

Taken to the Cleaners

There are certain things in life that you don't mind paying a lot of money for. Then there are other things, that cost way less in dollars, but for some reason irritate you a lot more. The most overpriced thing in the world as far as I'm concerned is dry cleaning.

I just dropped off my tuxedo at the cleaners, and they charged me $14.70 to launder it.

That seems outrageous to me.

I'm sure at this point I've spent more money cleaning the tux, than I did buying it.

It might be more cost effective for me to buy a tux, wear it 6 or 8 times, then throw it away and get a brand new one.

Why does dry cleaning cost so much? Does anyone else think that's an exorbitant sum to pay someone to do your laundry?

Pesto Is...

What do you think of pesto?

Life Changed a Lot in a Year

Diesel in Maine in 2007:



Diesel in Maine in 2008:

ANOTHER teacher has sex with a youngin

OMAHA, Neb. - A former teacher pleaded guilty Wednesday to fleeing to Mexico with a 13-year-old student so she could have sex with him. Her plea was part of a deal to ensure she'll spend less than a decade in federal prison.

Full story here


(AP Photo)


Once again, I can't help but ask myself...."where the hell were teachers like this when I was in the 7th-8th grade?!?!" In this case, she's not exactly attractive, but hey, better than nothing at that age.

Song Of The Week

While Poop is gone, I'm at the wheel. This week's SOTW:
"Handlebars" - Flobots
I'll put it in the category of "hey, this makes no sense....wait a second, that's pretty damn deep"

This is the song only:


This is the actual video, which is pretty trippy.

More of these guys:

Baseball is Poop - Whoa Oh, We're Halfway There Edition

With most teams having played 81 games, now is a good time go back and look at the cool stats of the first half. But first let's hand out some half-season awards.

National League MVP
Lance Berkman
He leads the league in runs and RBI. He's only 2 homers back but he's slugging almost .700 miles ahead of anyone else in the league. The only problem is, the Astros are 10 games back. But if he goes 135-135 with 40 homers and an OPS above 1.100, he's the MVP.
If I had a second choice it would be Dan Uggla, given the overachieving record of his team, coupled with the lack of other strong performers (other than Ramirez) in his lineup.

American League MVP
Josh Hamilton
This one's a no-brainer. He's leading the league in homers and RBIs but maybe the surprising nature of his season is what has me. Despite being on pace for 37 homers and 152 RBI the case could be made against him.
If I had a second place vote it would go to his teammate Milton Bradley who leads the AL in batting, on base and slugging.

National League Cy Young
Edinson Volquez
He leads NL starters in ERA, hits per 9 and Ks per 9. He gives up too many walks but that's about all you can say.
Tim Lincecum was a very close second but he had 2 bad starts to only 1 bad one by Volquez. I'm giving Volquez a freebie for his relief appearance which resulted in a loss and Lincecum's game where he gave up 4 unearned runs but was let off the hook.

American League Cy Young
Justin Duchsherer
This choice may surprise some people who only look at won-loss record to evaluate a pitcher. Record is one tool to judge pitchers, but it's about 5th or 6th on the list. ERA is number one, and he leads the league by half a run. I also look at the performance on a start by start basis and he has allowed more than 2 earned runs in only 1 game. He did allow 6 runs (5 unearned) in one start, but the A's won that game so we'll give him a pass. He missed three starts due to injury and was held to a pitch count in others, explaining his low win and innings and strikeout totals. Although his Ks per 9 is weak no matter what. But you can truly discount his 5 losses because his ERA is 2.64 in those games.
Cliff Lee is a clear second choice, but he's had 3 really poor games, so I couldn't justify selecting him over another pitcher with zero, just because he has 3 more wins and 4 fewer losses.

National League Rookie of the Year
Geovany Soto
He's on pace for 25 homers and 90 RBI which are excellent numbers for any rookie or any catcher, but great numbers for a rookie catcher.
The retarded sportswriters will probably give it to Soto's teammate Fukudome just because he gets more press but Soto leads him in OPS by a decent margin and for him to do what he's doing as a catcher is doubly impressive.
As a matter of fact, I'd put Fukudome 4th on my list, behind Jair Jurrgens and Joey Votto.

Note: Edinson Volquez pitched in 20 games over the 2005, 2006 and 2007 season and is not considered a rookie.

American League Rookie of the Year
Evan Longoria
Any rookie who hits 30 home runs is almost a shoo-in. His batting and on-base are a little low but his slugging is excellent and his OPS is very good. If he picks up the pace a little, he'll be a 30 homer 100 RBI man, that'll definitely win him the rookie of the year award.
David Murphy should be second, not Jacoby Ellsbury. Armando Galarraga is a dark horse.

Feelin' Chipper
Now that Chipper Jones has fallen to .394 it doesn't seem like he has a chance at .400. But if these injuries keep his at bat total low, he could make a late run at it if he gets hot.

Anks for the Memories
Unheraled rhyming pitchers Josh Banks and John Danks are quietly having good seasons. Danks is only 5-4 but has a 2.64 ERA for the White Sox. He's only had 2 bad starts and gotten no decision in 2 games in which he didn't allow a run.
Banks allowed only 1 earned run in his first 4 games (23 innings) and since then has slowed down, but he's still got a 2.33 ERA and a 2-2 record.

El Savior
Francisco Rodriguez is on pace to save 63 games, giving him some cushion to slow down and still break Bobby Thigpen's record of 57.

If the Playoffs Started Today
The Tampa Bay Rays would have the best record in the majors and face the White Sox in the first round. The Red Sox would play the Angels.
The Cubs have the best record in the NL and would play the .500 Diamondbacks. That would leave the Phillies to play the Cardinals.

Run Differential Says
Judging by runs scored vs. runs allowed (a very flawed way of looking at things) and using it as a predictor (because it does tend to indicate which teams are winning close games, something that in theory should even out), the Blue Jays, Braves and Indians will do better in the second half. The Marlins and possibly the Twins are playing above their heads and could fall.

Roar
And watch out for the Tigers. They started off impossibly slowly with that horribly up and down offense, pounding people one day and getting shut out the next. But they appear ready to turn it around and fulfill those preseason predictions of greatness.

Predictions Redux
I like the Angels against the Cubs in the World Series with the Angels winning it all.

J.Lo Brings Her Big Butt to Staten Island

A group of kids at P.S. 37 in Staten Island, a school for autistic children, fell in love with Jennifer Lopez after their teacher played "Let's Get Loud" for them.
The kids liked the song so much that learned all the lyrics and the dance moves and chose it for their graduation song.
Then they wrote to J.Lo asking if she'd come to her graduation. The teacher says the kids thought the whole time that she'd want to come, maybe because they didn't understand how famous she is.
So boy what she surprised when J.Lo called the school to find out the date and time of graduation.
And true to her word she showed up, sang "Let's Get Loud" and gave those kids the thrill of a lifetime.

Story suggested by Razor

Old People Fucking

The Japanese have always had strange tastes when it comes to porn.
But even I was surprised to learn that Shigeo Tokuda is a popular porn star, he's 74 years old.
He has been in 350 adult films over the past 14 years, and says his wife and daughter have no idea.
Elderporn is big business in Japan and Tokuda has had big hits with "Maniac Training of Lolitas" and "Forbidden Elderly Care."
I wonder if Hideki Matsui has any Tokuda films in his collection.

The Summer of Poop

We are going on vacation.
The summer of Poop starts with a trip to Baltimore for my parents' 40th anniversary celebration.
Approximate round trip distance: 398 miles

Then we are off to Maine for an abbreviated version of our annual summer vacation.
Approximate round trip distance: 624 miles

After that it's off to Hershey, Pennsylvania for JLeary's wedding.
Approximate round trip distance: 340 miles

Then we get back to work for three days before we go to Toronto for my cousin's wedding.
Approximate round trip distance: 980 miles

So not including other driving we'll be doing while at those locations that brings the total mileage to 2342 miles.

Assuming that Mellow Yellow gets about 19 miles per gallon, I'll have to buy about 124 gallons of gas.

At the national average of $4.07 a gallon, that brings my gas cost to $504.68.

That means I won't have much time to post things on the Poop or the Recap. I'll try to get something in every game for the Recap, even if I just lift stuff from the AP write, just so that I have some kind of record of every game. But you may not find very much or anything here at the Poop.

As usual when I'm away TON is in charge in case of breaking news (I hope another one of my favorite players doesn't die) or anything else he feels like writing about.

Song of the Week

"Tru Love" - Faith Evans
"Every moment hasn't been perfect but still
when it's perfect it feels
like we're the only two people who have something real"

The New York Post is Horse Manure

We all know that the New York Post is a rag with no journalistic standards, but the way they tried to sabotage Jerry Manuel before his first home game as manager of the Mets was low, even by their subterranean standards.

The back cover blasted that Manuel called Mets fans "fertilizer." And the Post referred to us as "dung-ho Met fans."

According to the responsible Adam Rubin of the Daily News, here was the exact pregame sequence:

"Question: Jerry, the first few months of the season there’s been a lot of booing at Shea. Sometimes it’s been really vicious. How much does that drain a team?

Manuel: That’s a good question. I don’t know if it drains a team as much as it affects that individual. I think it does have an effect on the individual more so than the team. But, in saying that, we have to get to the point to where when they boo one, they’re booing all of us. And we have to understand and stay that close knit and be able to deal with that as we go forward.

Question: One guy who has been really hammered is Aaron Heilman …

Manuel: He seems to have done very well. He has responded very well. Again, it’s difficult. It’s painful. But it’s also growth. It’s growth for him. It’s very, very – I’m going to say this, and I hope y’all don’t take this wrong. I know you’re going to run out of here with something crazy on this. It’s very, very fertile ground for growth at Shea Stadium. It’s fertile ground for a team’s growth and development. Sometimes fertile ground has fertilizer. (Laughter in room.) Fertilizer is a good thing. It’s a good thing. You get the greatest results, you get the most beautiful plants, when you put it in that type of fertile soil. That’s what we have the opportunity to do. Don’t y’all take that wrong because I know what you’re going to do with it."

Tony the Terrible

When Omar Minaya fired Willie Randolph he seemed genuinely upset about it and said he wished he didn't have to do it, and he felt he had to finally let Willie go after reports hit the papers that he was going to be fired.

It seems those reports were sourced by a leak within the Mets organization, Omar's righthand man, Vice President of Player Development, Tony Bernazard.

Bernazard had an undistinguished career as a player.



Now Bernazard has the ear of the Wilpons and Omar Minaya. Despite reports that he was the source of the leak that led to Willie's firing, and despite reports that he used to take things Willie said about players in closed door meetings, and tell the players, somehow Bernazard still has his job.



And if those reports are true, then maybe this one is too. If Omar Minaya gets fired in the offseason, Tony Bernazard is the number one contender to replace him. God help us all.

Teenage Sluts

A group of 17 girls all ages 16 under are pregnant at Gloucester High School in Massachusetts. Because this is 4 times the school's normal rate of pregnancy one school official suggested the girls entered into a "pact" to get knocked up at the same time. Now there is some doubt about whether there actually was a pact, but there are still several questions that are bothering me.

Who are the fathers? One of them is reportedly a 24-year-old homeless guy. What did these girls do, go into an alley and ask the homeless guy if he wanted to fuck? I'm sure if this is anything like high school, no more than 10 dudes are responsible for these 17 pregnancies.

Where's the justice in this world? With so many older, responsible, married women having such difficulty getting, and staying, pregnant, why do these whores find it so easy? I'm sure if you took a group of 30 year old women who were all trying to get pregnant at the same time, at least a couple would be a few months behind, or not be able to get pregnant at all.

The school is now saying there was no pact and that once the girls found out they were pregnant they banded together and agreed to raise their kids together. What about the girls who were high-fiving when their pregnancy tests came up pregnant?

I spoke about this story to my neighbor who runs the daycare for a local high school. She takes care of the students' kids. She says her program has room for 24 kids, and each year her school has 80 pregnancies. She already has 6 incoming freshman who have applied for the service for September. That's 14 year olds.

What the fuck is this world coming to?