The Song That Won't Die

Usually songs, no matter how popular, have their initial popularity, then fade away to be enjoyed with the occassional radio airplay or when you dig up that old CD or on a TV show or movie to evoke a certain time period.

But "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey seems to be the one song that refuses to go away. I admit it's a pretty good song, but I wouldn't consider it an all-time great. In fact that highest it got on the Billboard chart when it was released in 1981 was #9. But for some reason the song keeps making a comeback

The 2005 Chicago White Sox adopted it as their theme song after singing it at a karaoke bar, and even had Steve Perry sing it with them at their championship parade.



And most famously the song was used for the controversial but memorable final scene of "The Sopranos." After which I made it the Song of the Week and the video I used (one of the few SOTW that hasn't been taken down) has gotten more than 10 million views on youtube.



Now a dance artist named George Lamond has remixed the song with a cool beat, giving it life for a few more years.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It's March Madness, the NCAA Tournament and that means its time for the Poop's annual bracket challenge. Go to espn.com's tournament challenge, search for a group called "The Poop," make your picks before the tournament starts Thursday at noon and talk some trash in the comments section.
It's easy really.
Brackets for wives and children are acceptable, but you can only get credit for the picks made under your name.

The winner will be the recipient of a laudatory post like the one Beers received last year.

Hooves + Linoleum = Hilarity

Few things I've seen in my life amuse me more than the few times I've seen deer run into a store.



Poor deer, they never can get their footing on those slippery floors.

Sextuple OT

The most amazing, improbable, heart-stopping, exhilarating victory in Syracuse history. Sure there have been bigger games, and more important victories, but 6 overtimes -- nothing like that.
A team I have derided all season as not knowing how to win fended off five "game points" coming from behind in each of the first five overtimes (without ever holding a lead), pushing UConn to the breaking point, then finally breaking them in the sixth OT.
Without Onuaku, Ongenaet, Jackson and Devendorf, Paul Harris and Jonny Flynn carried Kris Joseph and a walk-on named Justin Thomas (with a little help from Andy Rautins) to a victory over the 4th ranked team in the country.
The big key here for SU was the free throw shooting. Flynn and Harris combined to make 29 of 30 from the line.



Rautins (as he usally does) contributing a couple big plays, including the 3-pointer 10 seconds into the 6th overtime to give SU its first lead in any of the OTs.



I still don't have high hopes for this team in the NCAA tournament, and expect them to have tired legs tonight against West Virginia, but they showed me something in this game about their heart and guts.

And even if this season results in another first round flameout (like the one after Gerry McNamamara's amazing Big East run in 2006), this game will go down as one of the most memorable in SU history.

And to think, it almost didn't happen. If the timekeeper starts the clock .2 of a second later, Devendorf wins the game with a 3 at the buzzer. In regulation.

Getting Chippy

Syracuse blowing out another bad team, this time it was Seton Hall in the second round of the Big East Tournament.
SU was leading by only 2, 46-44 with 16 minutes left in the second half when someone unsportsmanlike conduct by Seton Hall lit a fire under their ass.
It all started with a gangsta swat by Arinze Onuaku on a shot by John Garcia. Garcia then yapped in Onuaku's face, and Arinze responded by clapping with his huge hands right in Garcia's face. When Garcia shoved them away, the refs teed up both players.
Ten seconds later Kristof Ongenaet was fouled hard from behind on a breakaway by Brandon Walters.



Eric Devendorf got in the middle to separate them, Eugene Harvey put his hand on Devendorf's face and shoved him.
I thought SU players show considerable restraint in both incidents.



And living well is the best revenge as SU went on a 15-3 run, turning the game into a blowout.

Rap Battle

I think Paris Hilton may actually have taken our boy Snoop in this battle.

Song of the Week

"Til I Collapse" - Eminem
You are almost guaranteed to hear this song as walk-in music for at least one fighter on every MMA card.
And it makes me reflect on the career of Eminem (which seems pretty much over now).
And I always come back to the same conclusion, the guy had tremoundous potential to be the realest MC with the strongest lyrics but he chose to sell out and go pop.
But you can tell the guy had deep thoughts and when he let his deepest thoughts come out in his music that's when he was at his best.
"Music is like magic
there’s a certain feeling you get
when your real and you spit
and people are feeling your shit.
This is your moment
and every single minute you spend
trying to hold onto it
cause you may never get it again."



Note: there is no official video for this song

Jessica Biel's Ass

Jessica Biel made an awesome guest appearance on Saturday Night Live this week, presumably to keep an eye on her boyfriend Justin Timberlake. Gay-T appears on SNL pretty much every week, probably because he is gay with Andy Samberg.
Anyway, Samberg was playing annoying comic book heroine Kathy, JT was her boyfriend, that is until Biel walked in playing Jessica Rabbit.






That costume started the biggest debate in the history of the internet.
Is that ass real? There is a lot you can do with costume, and I agree she is sticking her ass our as she walks, but she has to be padding that thing.
I mean in these pictures her ass is big and round (in a good way) but nothing like that. I have to assume she's using performance enhancing substances.

I'll Take Good Looks Over a Sense of Humor Any Day

People (mosty women) often say they prefer sense of humor in a potential mate, as compared to good looks. Well now Vanity Fair has spoofed one of their more famous recent covers by anointing Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill and Jason Segel as the new Legends of Comedy.

But presented with the evidence I'd still take Keira Knightley and a humorless Scarett Johansson any day of the week.

Fort Malia and Fort Sasha

When Mrs. Poop was a little girl, her father built Fort Kate for her in the backyard, which was basically a really cool homemade swingset.
It even had rings, which Mrs. Poop was using to do a skin the cat, when she fell and broke her arm.
Eventually, Fort Kate had to be taken down (I think it was a drainage issue).
But Mrs. Poop did get a little jealous when she saw the gift Malia and Sasha Obama got from their daddy.
A huge new swingset (no rings, too dangerous) on the South Lawn of the White House so the President can look out the windows of the Oval Office (which he once mistook for doors) and see his girls playing in the yard.

Something to Think About As We Spring Ahead

Many of you are trudging into work this morning after getting one fewer hour of split and enjoying a weekend that was 2 percent shorter than every other weekend.
But at least you are not Tom Seaver.
A few years ago before he was mercilessly let go as Mets TV analyst, Tom Terrific a great story about the havoc "spring ahead" wreaked on his life.

In a measure of good planning, Seaver set his hotel room clock forward one hour before he went to bed. Little did he know that the clock would automatically reset itself at 2 am.

So when he woke up he thought he was an hour late, so he ran through the hotel lobby to catch the team bus. When he did, he thought he missed it, but he was actually an hour early.

I hope laughing at Tom Seaver will help you get through your "Spring Ahead" blues this morning.

How Did It Get To the 12th Floor?

I'm sitting quietly at my desk when all the sudden I hear a blood-curdling shriek. A girl I work with is standing in the lobby area of our floor shouting "roach, roach!"
Sure enough, there was a huge roach (at least 2 inches long) moseying along the tile floor. After a few minutes of laughter and a cell phone picture, I chased the roach into a conference room and caught it under a cup.
But when I tried to slid a paper under the cup, the roach ran away.
Fast little guy.
The elevators in my building are notoriously confusing. You select your floor outside the elevator and it tells you which elevator to take. When you get in, you don't press a button, you just wait to be lifted (or lowered) to your destination.

How did a cockroach figure that out?

Idol Chatter

The top 12 is set so I guess it's time to weigh in with my thoughts.

First let's deal with the Adam Lambert issue. The kid had a real chance. He could have taken his androgynous Clay Aiken-Annie Lenox thing to the top. But with these gay kiss and drag queen photos he's got no shot. Say what you want but people just don't like gay dudes. Look at every vote on gay marriage. People hate homos. And he coulda been a contender.




Most of the girls in the top 12 suck, except for 1 (I'll get to her later) so they will quickly be weeded out. But there are a couple of intriguing guys, most notably the two sympathy cases.

Scott MacIntyre makes me want to cry every time he sings. Fact is, the guy is awesome. He could be the white Stevie Wonder, or the blind Ray Charles, that's how good this guy is. But I'm just not sure this is his way to break into the industry. Especially because no one in his family wants to tell him "look bro, I can see, and your hair looks awful."



Then there's Danny Gokey who is everyone's odds-on favorite to win this thing. Not only can the guy really sing, but he has a dead wife (and not the O.J. Simpson kind either, she died during surgery, reportedly to treat a lifelong heart condition) which pulls on Mrs. Poop's heartstrings.



But sympathy will only take you so far in this contest. And with so many dudes being so good, I could easily see 5 vs. 1 in the final 6, they may cancel each other out.

And that is why Lil Rounds is going to win. Now lots of other great black women have been the best singers in their season (LaToya, LaKisha, Mandisa, Melinda) and got voted off because they weren't likable. But I don't see that problem with Lil. I listened to her performance of (former SOTW) "Be Without You" twice when I watched the show and five more times while I was writing this.

We Can't Even Have Salt?

A group of Jesus loving nutbags has had enough of this shit. Jews have monopolized the salt industry for far too long. For too many years Jews have pushed their agenda through Kosher salt. But those days are over. As a way to end years of oppression, some dumbass is now selling Christian Blessed Salt, which will be blessed by an Episcopalian priest. Because you really can't trust those rabbis.

Seinfeld with the "F" Word

When I was at Syracuse I attended a teleconference featuring the producers of some of the more successful sitcoms airing at that time. The panel had about four uptight people who took themselves and their shows very seriously (including Christopher Lloyd from Frasier -- no, not that Christopher Lloyd) and then there was Larry David.

When the panel was asked what kind of show they would do were it not for network sensors, the assembled gave the typical pompous liberal answers. I think one said "a sitcom about a lesbian couple raising a baby, a son probably." What's funny about that I have no idea.

But when it was Larry David's turn to answer, he simply said "Seinfeld with the F--- word."

And for that I always admired him, he was doing (almost) exactly what he wanted to be doing, and then when that ended he did "Curb Your Enthusiasm" which when you think about it, is basically Seinfeld with the F--- word.

Now Larry David is coming a little closer to that dream.
When Curb starts its new season this fall (finally) Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander and Michael Richards will appear in several episodes.
Dreyfus and Alexander have already been on the show at times, but Seinfeld hasn't. Nor has Richards, and he presents the most interesting challenge.

What will they do with him? Ignore his outburst, lampoon it? Will people be angry Richards is getting another chance? And what will Jerry do. I hope he comes back as the manager for Krayzee Eyes Killa.

I can't wait to find out.

John Starks Can Relate

UAB guard Robert Vaden was averaging 18.7 points per game and shooting 36% from 3-point land entering his team's key game against Memphis.
While his teammates fought valiantly in an attempt to end Memphis's ridiculous conference winning streak, 54 games, Vaden single-handedly shot them out of the game.
Vaden's stats:
3 points
0-17 FG
0-12 3pt

Eerily reminiscent of John Starks's line when he shot the Knicks right off the NBA Finals by going 2 for 18 (0 for 11 from behind the arc.

I can only imagine how Vaden's teammates felt, shouting "I'm open" while this chucker tries to shoot himself out of a slump in the most important game of the year.

Bad memories.

Murray Chass is Always 10 Years Behind Me

SCZA e-mailed me an article by Hall of Fame baseball writer Murray Chass.
Before I go on let's get a couple things on the table. I hate Murray Chass. He's a pompous douche who belittled me when I suggested steroids where prevalent in baseball.
I hate Mike Piazza, too. Similar to the way I feel about Michelle Obama, it's not Piazza I hate, the treatment of him, the ignorance of the facts regarding him and his poor clutch performance are the reasons I dislike Piazza.
And about 10 years ago I said with near certainty that Piazza was a steroid user.

There is just too much overwhelming evidence against him. He went from skinny 62nd round draft pick to muscle-bound Hall of Famer. He went from feared slugger to decripit old man who tore a muscle moving out of the way of a pitch. And his statistical decline too conveniently mirrored the arrival of punitive steroid testing in baseball.

And one more thing, according to Murray Chass, Piazza had really bad back acne, an obvious sign of steroid use.

Now Chass, who had his head in the sand for years on steroids claims to have known it all along but his editors would never let him voice his suspicions about Piazza. And even now Chass would have kept looking the other way except his piece gave him the chance to criticize a much better article by his apparent nemesis Joel Sherman of the Post.

The point is this, so many baseball players were using steroids during the period from 1993 to 2003 (Piazza's heyday) it would be almost impossible to imagine that one of the few cleans guys also happens to have this many red flags.

And Murray Chass is a self-righteous asshole who was a big part of the problem.

Liquidation Sales are a Scam

With 200,000 retail stores expected to close in the next few years, I think I should warn Poopheads about liquidation sales.
The stores lure shoppers in with advertisements saying things like "25% off," "50% off" and "everything must go."
Truth is, you're unlikely to find a good deal on anything you want at a liquidation sale.
Here's why:
Most stores always sell items at prices lower than the suggested retail price. But before the liquidation sale starts, they mark everything up to full value, then take the discount. Just for argument's sake (I'll give a concrete example later), let's say Best Buy sells a $300 TV for $250. Now Circuit City is selling the same TV for 25% off, off $300. That means $225. Is $25 enough incentive to buy a TV?
And since liquidation sales can last months, the real deep discounting doesn't begin until the last few weeks.
By that time, just about everything worth having is already gone.

Other disadvantages include no returns, poor customer service and sometimes cash only. Manufacturer's warranties are still good however.

But despite all this I had to check it out for myself so I went to Circuit City. I checked out the TVs and DVDs, then went to Best Buy to comparison shop. On the way back to Circuit City Chase fell asleep so I had to go home.
But I took Chase back a couple days later and realized that the TVs from the name brands (Sony, LG) were basically the same price in both stores.
The TVs that were really cut-rate were brands I'd never heard of.
They did have some good DVDs on sale, but after the markup, the prices weren't significantly lower.
For instance, I bought "The Express" and "Horton Hears a Hoo." Both movies were $19.99 at Best Buy, and $21.99 at Circuit City.

About a month after that shopping trip, Circuit City announced a deeper price cut.
But by the time we had a chance to go back, the store was decimated. There were still a few large TVs by major brands, but even at 40% discounts they were still mostly priced within the range you could buy them for anytime at Best Buy, Wal-Mart or Target.

Perfect Camera Angle

Jennifer Love HugeTits, I mean Jennifer Love Hewitt, doing push-ups on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

Puppy Dream

Diesel often has what are called puppy dreams, when he starts barking and yipping and we think he's dreaming about running in the woods because his paws are going nuts.
But he has nothing on Bizkit.