I've known TallSkott for about half my life. At first he was a big doof who just wanted everyone to like him, so he gave them candy for a quarter and free movie rentals. I believe TON's Dad still has an outstanding $41 bill at West Coast video (or whatever it was called, neither jusTON nor I can remember).
But Scott always wanted to be your friend, which I think is why he never chose a sports team, he just wanted to run with the crowd. He and I were golfing buddies (until I got struck on the hip by an errant drive). We were a dominant 2 on 2 basketball team (until jusTON and Leary beat us). We were part of an unstoppable Jewish bowling team (until I grew too much to still be called "medium jew"). We were gambling buddies (until we got tired of those long drives back from AC after losing). Strike the last one, we're still gambling buddies and recently played online poker at his apartment.
Which brings me to Dana, you can definitely see Dana's touch in their apartment, it's a girl's apartment that a guy happily cohabitates. But that's the thing with Scott. He's just happy to be there. Especially after some failed past experiences with women (prank calling Jen Levanthal, "I so wanna touch your ass", the whole Queenie debacle).
So when Scott met Dana we were all happy for him. The first time I met Dana, I recall Scott grabbing her ass, and she lovingly slapped it away. She fit the requirements for Scott's girlfriend. She's short, that was a key. She's Jewish. She's outgoing. She's good natured enough to deal with Scott's weird habits. And she's demanding enough to break him of a lot of those weird habits.
Scott's dietary restrictions are now legendary. The turkey and muenster cheese, the refusal to pass the lobster bisque. But now Dana and Scott go out for sushi. And that's a good relationship, when the partners become greater than the some of the parts.
So the wedding day came. WARNING!!! The following will be told strictly from my perspective so if you have comments of other funny things that happened feel free to add them.
Scott was sooooooooooooooooooooooo nervous. At 4:25 (five minutes early) he sent a group text message to the groomsmen saying "where r u guys?" He must have eaten 40 altoids in the few hours leading up to the ceremony. During the ceremony he alternated giggling and coughing fits. But he made it through.
And Scott looked good. He had a sort of pinstriped tuxedo with a black bow tie. Scott loves a bow tie for some reason. And Dana. Good lawd. At most weddings the bride looks beautiful, but Dana looked damn hot. The difference is subtle, but there is a difference between beautiful and hot.
Scott gave a firm stomp to the glass. And the party began.
I made a beeline to the bar and started with a couple Heinekens. Then we got a couple shots from the Vodka infusion. One was berry and one was pineapple. Thankfully, I don't really care for fruit so I went back to beer. Otherwise the cocktail hour was good, but I spent most of it drinking.
Scott's favorite part of any wedding/bar mitzvah is the hora. We love being the chair lifters. Thankfully I had front right of the ladies' chair, smoothly lifting, Dana, her mom, Elaine and Scott's mom, Stefanie. I don't know how the other guys got Scott and Howie up in the air, but they did.
Right after the the hora the band (which was awesome by the way) got into a couple good songs to get the group dancing. Then for some reason they moved into "Sweet Home Alabama." Half the crowd was like "wtf?" but then Scott and Dana's friend Alex got up there and started jamming with the band. It was a really nice touch and Alex told me afterwards it felt so cool to be up there "shredding."
After that there was more dancing and partying, and of course, more drinking. We had to get the best man, Matt Fox ready for his toast. Matt was very apprehensive about giving the speech so the only thing to do was fill him full of some liquid courage. Matt had about 12 shots before the speech and that must have been the right number because the speech was awesome. On his way up we seranaded him with the Jose chant (Matt Fox, MattFoxMattFoxMattFox...Maaaat Fox, Matt Fox). He had everyone laughing including the bride and the groom.
The rest of the night kind of flew by for me. We kept dancing. We kept drinking and we had a great time. These pictures probably say it all.
To put the icing on the cake we drove (well, actually only Leslie was able to) Greenspan aka Juice aka Green-spiggity to the train station because he had to get up for the Jets game the next day. I feel badly for anyone who might have been on the train with him. Almost as bad as I feel for Mrs. Poop who had to sit in the back seat with me on one side of her, and Juice on the other as we sang "What a beautiful wedding, what a beautiful wedding...but haven't you people ever heard of closing the God damn door."
All in all it was a great night that those of you who can remember it won't soon forget. I'll leave you with some pictures of the bride and groom.
1 comment:
Look for me in the back of that picture where everyone is singing along to "Sweet Home Alabama"
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