They Got Syracuse Downpat

So ESPN was casting for a new series of college basketball commercials. The premise: "students" from a bunch of schools were cold-calling people getting them to watch more college basketball. The casting director issued a list of requirements for each school, hoping to capture the essence of that university. Here's a few of the better ones:

[ DUKE UNIVERSITY ]
MALE. Our guy for Duke UNIVERSITY is a smart, with it, young WHITE male. He's handsome. He's from money. He is, in short, the kind of guy, everyone can't stand. He is the kind of guy everyone wants to be.

[ CONNECTICUT ]
MALE. Connecticut is all things Connecticut. He's a little bit older.
He's a little bit thicker around the waist. He's WHITE. He's also competitive. Very. Waspy, blue blood.

[ TENNESSEE ]
FEMALE. Tennessee is orange crazy. The ice tray in her orange fridge, that freezes the water she dyes orange, is that orange. The party girl cowboy hat she wears is a white and orange zebra print. The tattoo on her lower back is Pantone 3 for that Tennessee orange. The only thing that's not orange is her dog, which is the20mascot Smokey. Did we mention she's crazy? A slutty girl who would hang out at the cowgirl hall of fame.

[ GEORGETOWN ]
FEMALE. Georgetown, a 4.36 GPA who's lived in 9 world-class cities, but all the time in her sister's shadow (her GPA is 4.37). She's sort of the female Duke, except most people like her. Think Reese Witherspoon.

[ MEMPHIS ]
MALE. What can we say about Memphis? He's a southern BLACK kid, really culinary and polite. He's artistic, and draws comic books really well.

[ OHIO STATE ]
MALE. He looks like Jim Tressle (head coach of Ohio State football) in the dress code. Red sweater vest. Always. Doesn't care for swearing either — of course we never really test this out as they are commercial advertisements and no one swears in them, but it's true nevertheless.
A Republican.

[ OKLAHOMA STATE ]
FEMALE. She's a fun loving girl, Oklahoma born and bred. Decided not to travel out of State so she should be closer to home. She's a flirt.
She's a hot chick.

[ SYRACUSE ]
MALE. Jewish kid from Long Island that is loving the college experience. It has opened up a world he never knew existed. All you can eat buffets in the cafeteria — who knew? To Syracuse, everything is a party.

ESPN decided not to go with the ad campaign, evidently not approving the racial and school stereotyping of the casting director.

The full list.