Saturday, September 17, 2011

Don't Have Skype Sex on a Stolen Computer

An Ohio woman settled a lawsuit with a software company after she claimed the company grabbed a sexually explicit photo of her from her computer.
Here's what happened: Susan Clements-Jeffrey, a teacher, age 52, bought a laptop from a student for $60.
Not surprising that computer had been stolen, and sold to another student for $40, who quickly flipped it to his naive teacher for a 50% profit.
Mrs. Clements-Jeffrey used the computer and the webcam to communicate with her out of state boyfriend.
This is where Absolute Software comes in.
In an attempt to recover the stolen property, the company grabbed a webcam image of Clements-Jeffrey. They used a webcam image rather than some other saved photo, because that's the only way to determine who is actually using the computer.
They also used the tracking software to locate the computer. They turned over the location and the explicit photo to local police, who arrested Clements-Jeffrey.
She sued, claiming her privacy and been violated and she had no idea the computer was stolen. A judge agreed and ruled in her favor (instead of taking it further, the parties settled).
The judge ruled, even though the company was tracking stolen property, a legitimate purpose, it crossed a line when it obtained and disseminated (to police) a sexually explicit image of Clements-Jeffrey.
I agree. And I would love to side with her but for one big thing. She didn't know the computer was stolen? There's no way that can be true. She bought a laptop from a student for $60 and didn't think it had been stolen. Not possible.
Not saying she deserved to have her naked photos exposed, but when you traffic in stolen goods I believe you lose some of your rights. And I think she should have had this case dismissed.

Friday, September 16, 2011

They're So Cute At This Age

An elderly couple, Bruce and Esther Huffman, have become the darlings of the internet after they released a video they unknowingly recorded while trying to figure out how to use their webcam.
The Huffmans, in their 80s but only recently married were trying to record a video for their grandkids.
Surely they will enjoy Bruce making monkey faces, singing nonsense songs and tell Esther to pull down her dress.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

No Wonder the Fans Love Tom Brady

Tom Brady's advice to the fans before Sunday's home opener, a 4:15 PM start against the Chargers.
"Start drinking early. Get nice and rowdy. It's a 4:15 game, a lot of time to get lubed up. Come out here, and cheer for the home team."

The Patriots later clarified the "drinking early" remark on behalf of Brady, telling the assembled media, "He meant 'stay hydrated, drink a lot of water. Be loud, drink responsibly.'"

Scarlett Johansson Naked Cell Phone Pics

The pictures the internet has been awaiting for years have finally surfaced. Topless Scarlett Johansson cell phone pics.



Since Gnitsark tipped me off to the story (and even slid his non-work iPhone under my nose so I wouldn't have to wait until I got home to check out these pictures) I used his face to obscure the nipple and keep the Poop's high standards of decency.

As always with cell phone pics, the question comes up, are they real? This certainly looks like her face. And I have read reports that the pictures have been examined at a very high magnification and no evidence of photoshopping is present.

So if the pictures are real, how about the titties? ScarJo has long been the subject of the "real or fake?" debate and I have to say her cans stand up to close scrutiny. They are a natural shape, and you can't see the implant as you often can with fake boobies. Don't believe me? Look for yourself, BUT NOT AT WORK.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Love is Blind

Seth Green and Clare Grant.
He's 5'4" she's 5'7", 5"10 in heels.
I have a feeling he likes to take her out dancing.






Song of the Week

"Your Precious Love" - Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
Another legendary song written by Ashford and Simpson who did their best work for other people.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The NFL is Poop - Week 1

Welcome Back NFL
It's hard to miss something that never even left but it seems there is more excitement, personally and across the broader fan base, for this season than for years past. Just the thought of a canceled or shortened season was enough to turn any NFL fan into a whipped boyfriend running back whenever the NFL was ready to have us again. I am not placing blame, I am part of the problem, though I was not part of the audience for Sunday Night's Cowboys-Jets game, which pulled in the highest rating for a Week 1 primetime game since 1996. And what a great game it was.

I Bet A Lot of Cowboys Fans Will Be Changing the First Letter of his Last Name This Morning
Tony Romo (with an R) gifted a game to the Jets with a 4th quarter fumble and an interception. Romo is a pretty good quarterback but it seems like he will never fulfill the promise he had when he first burst on the scene. And the window for the Cowboys to become a top team is closing.

Whose League Is It?
You always hear a lot of talk about how the NFL is now a passing league, as opposed to a running one. Really? In Week 1, six running backs gained more than 100 yards and they all won. 7 of the top 8 receivers by yards lost, except Wes Welker who probably wou;dn't have ruined my perfect item if not for that 99-yard TD. I know a lot of this depends on play-calling which is based on the game situation. I know teams rush for a lot of yards because they are winning, they don't necessarily win because they rush for a lot of yards. But a difference that drastic in winning percentage for top rushers vs. top receivers does show us that a good running game is still a great way to build and keep a lead.

Impressive Debut
I wasn't sold on Cam Newton as an NFL prospect (though I did pick him to win Rookie of the Year) and I still am not convinced, but I was impressed by what I saw from him while watching the Panthers-Cardinals game on the computer during breaks in the Redskins-Giants. He showed a better, more accurate throwing arm than I thought he possessed, and he also used his running abilities to great effect, but also with great judiciousness. He did make some mistakes and I still think he has some 9 for 21, 3 INT games in his future. But judging by his debut, his future looks bright.



A Brief Rant About the Redskins
If the Redskins are to go 2-14 this year, I just hope the other win is against the Giants. Prior to this season the Giants had beaten us 9 of the past ten times. That's one win in 5 years against my most hated rival. I do see some promise on offense, though I am not buying a Rex Grossman jersey just yet. He did play well, and make some great throws, but the Giants injury-depleted pass rush may have helped in that regard. Tim Hightower looked good running the ball, which will help balance. There are still big concerns about the defense, especially with Reed Doughty getting burned on a deep ball. But Arizona is up next at home, a very winnable game. After that 4 of the next 5 games are on the road (Dallas, St. Louis, Carolina and Buffalo) against teams that aren't expected to be very good.



Picture of the Week
Kerry Collins looks old and beaten. And this was taken before the game started.

Kerry Collins looks battered and beaten -- before kickoff

Picture of the Week II
Of all the touching tributes to 9/11 during Sunday's games, there were none I wanted to touch more than this ribbon worn by a Redskins cheerleader.

is it insensitive to stare at her boobs?

Did Jaws Just Say Shit?
I think he did. Listen carefully and you can hear Ron Jaworski say "shit you have to get rid of this ball..."



If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Buffalo 34 Chicago 17
Just for fun I am starting this season off with the teams that had the best victories in Week 1. Judging only by what I saw, not what I thought. Maybe New England - Green Bay is a more likely matchup, but they only won by 14 and 8 respectively. And I do have concerns about Green Bay's defense which almost gave this game away.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Weekly Picks

A new season means a new chance to erase some recent failures and recapture my past form. I haven't really read much going into Week 1 because I don't do fantasy but I think I have a pretty good idea of who will be good and who will be bad. But remember, when we look back on these results in 10 weeks, what we think are upsets now may not turn out to be.

indianapolis +9 HOUSTON
I think this line is a total overreaction. Yes Peyton Manning matters, but not this much.

detroit +1 1/2 TAMPA BAY
This year's upstart team will beat last year's upstart team.

ARIZONA -7 carolina
This line is a little bigger than I would like but I do not like Cam Newton and I do think Kevin Kolb will be good. No way Newton wins his first NFL start, on the road. Whether he can lose by less than a touchdown, I'm not sure, but I'll take my chances.

philadephia -3 1/2 ST. LOUIS
I'm not convinced the Eagles are as good as everyone says and the Rams may show some big improvement this year. But I think Philly will get off to a good start with a win in Week 1.

BEST BET
atlanta -2 CHICAGO

My Super Bowl team against the Bears who still haven't upgraded their line enough to protect Jay Cutler.

Hey McFly Your Shoe's Untied

Nike is releasing the Nike Mag, a replica of the futuristic shoe Marty McFly wore in 2015 in "Back to the Future II."
The Nike on the strap even glows. The replica is pretty faithful to the original, except it doesn't lace itself.



Nike will release 1,500 pairs of the 2011 Nike Mag sneaker for auction on eBay and donate all proceeds to the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's disease research.

Nike decided more than four years ago to create the shoe, but was unsure when a pair would be ready. Unlike the shoes in the movie, the real-life versions had to be designed for day-to-day use. For instance, the design used in the movie required Fox to wear a battery pack with wires running down his pants to light the shoe, which was the best technology available at the time.

Nike also has created a faux "lost scene" from the movie starring Christopher Lloyd and Kevin Durant with a cameo from Mayor Goldie Wilson.


Friday, September 09, 2011

Baseball is Poop

Closest Race in Years
I don't think I have ever come across a more difficult decision for a Rookie of the Year award than the one confronting voters this season. The top two candidates are Phillies pitcher Vance Worley (11-1, 2.85 ERA) and Atlanta closer Craig Kimbrel (43 saves, 1.55 ERA). I know Worley's stats, especially his record, are inflated by being on such a good team, but it is a lot harder to be really good as a starter than as a closer. But Kimbrel hasn't just been lucky (though his setup men are so good he gets plenty of leads to work with), he's been really good and has the ability to continue this performance for many years. So who should be NL Rookie of the Year? I am going to go with Worley, but he stil has about 5 more starts left (which would bring him to 23) and if he falters I would be willing to go with Kimbrel.




Nyjer Morgan Must Have Lost His Mind
I think there is something wrong with Nyjer Morgan. He has developed a bad reputation around baseball for dirty play (knocking over a catcher when he didn't have the ball, 8 games suspension for his role in a brawl plus 7 games for throwing a ball into the stands) and his unusual personality (he has several alter egos and aliases). Under the name Tony Plush, Morgan has picked a twitter fight with the Stupendous Pooh Holes, referring to him as "Alberta" and "she." After mouthing off to Chris Carpenter after a strikeout, Pooh Holes ran towards Morgan to make go back to the dugout.
I don't find his antics amusing at all and he isn't a good enough player to have a mouth this big. I hope Prince Fielder accidentally sits on him and crushes the life out of him.



What's in a Name? I
My favorite rookie this year is St. Louis Cardinals closer Fernando Salas. But proving my old adage "you can't trust a palindrome" Salas has blown 5 saves this season.

What's in a Name? II
On June 24th in a game against the Tampa Bay Rays, the Houston Astros used 3 pitchers. Wandy Rodriguez, Fernando Rodriguez and Aneury Rodriguez. They lost 5-1.

What's in a Name? III
In an interleague contest between the Chicago Cubs and Chicago White Sox on July 1, there were two home runs hit. Both by A. Ramirez, Aramis and Alexi.

Best First Pitch of the Year
A performer in a Cirque De Soleil show does an intricate windup but still manages to throw a perfect strike.

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Who Wants to Taste My Schweddy Balls?

Ben & Jerry's will be offering for a limited time a new flavor, "Schweddy Balls," based on the brilliant Saturday Night Live sketch starring Alec Baldwin.



The flavor is made up of "vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum and is loaded with fudge covered rum balls and milk chocolate malt balls."

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

NFL Season Predictions

AFC East: New England Patriots
AFC North: Pittsburgh Steelers
AFC South: Houston Texans
AFC West: San Diego Chargers
AFC Wild Cards: Baltimore Ravens, New York Jets
AFC Conference Championship: Patriots over Chargers


NFC East: Philadelphia Eagles
NFC North: Green Bay Packers
NFC South: Atlanta Falcons
NFC West: St. Louis Rams
NFC Wild Cards: Detroit Lions, New Orleans Saints
NFC Conference Championship: Falcons over Eagles

Super Bowl: Atlanta 34 New England 29

Offensive Player of the Year: Roddy White
Defensive Player of the Year: Ndamukong Suh
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Cam Newton
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Nick Fairley
Comeback Player of the Year: Matthew Stafford
Coach of the Year: Jim Schwartz

Last year only 3 of us participated (I'll be lucky to get that many this year) and all 3 of us correctly predicted the Packers would make the Super Bowl.

Also, please enter all the espn.com games. The group name is The Poop. Definitely do the eliminator one. That would be fun if a lot of us got in and a few of us built long streaks.

Song of the Week

"Solid" - Ashford & Simpson
I regret being two weeks late with this tribute to one of the great songwriters of our time, Nick Ashford.
The day he died was the day of the East Coast earthquake and I was too busy to change the scheduled Song of the Week.
The following week I wanted to get "You're the Inspiration" in before our anniversary.
So that brings us to "Solid" one of the of their hits that Ashford and Simpson actually performed themselves.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I Think I Would Still Hate a White Dog-Killer

ESPN the Magazine recently ran a fascinating article "What If Michael Vick Were White."

Along with the article was a picture, Michael Vick reimagined and digitally altered to be a white man.



Juding from just the headline alone, I was pleased they used proper grammar but disappointed that they were going say Michael Vick was persecuted and punished harshly, because he is black.

Then I read the article: "I'm certain white privilege would not be enough to rescue a white NFL star caught killing dogs."

And it goes on to make the point that separating Vick or any of us from our race would be impossible. If Vick were white, he would have grown up in different circumstances and quite possibly never have been exposed to dogfighting in the first place. Maybe he wouldn't even play football, who knows?

Regardless of color Vick has turned his life around. He seems to be on the straight and narrow and personally, and on the basis of his play on the field he signed a new 6-year, $100m contract with the Eagles. I hope he uses that money to repay his creditors and uses these lessons to live an honest life.

But I will always hate him. No matter what color he is.

Song of the Week

"You're the Inspiration" - Chicago
I used to play this song on the piano when Mama Poop forced us to take lessons.
I'm so glad that 25 years later I finally understand the true meaning of these lyrics.

"You bring meaning to my life
You're the Inspiration"

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Animals Knew

An amazing story in the Washington Post about the strange behavior of animals at the National Zoo before last week's earthquake.

Here are some examples:
-About five to ten seconds before the quake, many of the apes, including Kyle (an orangutan) and Kojo (a Western lowland gorilla), abandoned their food and climbed to the top of the tree-like structure in the exhibit.

-About three seconds before the quake, Mandara (a gorilla) let out a shriek and collected her baby, Kibibi, and moved to the top of the tree structure as well.

-The red ruffed lemurs sounded an alarm call about 15 minutes before the quake and then again just after it occurred.

-The Zoo has a flock of 64 flamingos. Just before the quake, the birds rushed about and grouped themselves together. They remained huddled during the quake.

Here's one possible scientific explanation: An earthquake generates two types of seismic waves. The first is the relatively weak, fast-moving P wave, or primary wave. Then comes the more powerful S wave, or secondary wave, which lumbers along at a leisurely pace and heaves the ground up and down.

The first P waves would have reached Washington about 15 seconds before the S waves. The animals may have been responding to the P waves before humans noticed the ground shaking.

That's why some of the animals moved to higher ground, because they felt the earth shaking.

But that doesn't explain the lemurs sounding their alarm 15 minutes before.

Maybe that was just an aberation.

Maybe the lemurs knew.

We will never know why animals pick up on these things before we do. Unless they decide to tell us.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Song of the Week

"Working My Way Back to You Babe" - The Spinners
Master Bates and I used to play this on a Fisher Price record player.

What Do You Give Me For? Toucan Sam and the Mayan Archaelogy Initiative Toucan

Kellogg is asking a group working to defend Mayan culture to reconsider its logo, saying consumers can confuse it with Toucan Sam.
An attorney for Kellogg sent a letter to the nonprofit Maya Archaeology Initiative saying Kellogg opposes the group's bid to trademark its logo.
The Maya Archaeology Initiative says there is little similarity. It says its logo is based upon a realistic toucan native to Mesoamerica, while Toucan Sam is a cartoon character with the coloring of Froot Loops.





Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Where Were You When the World Shook?

My one chance to experience an earthquake in New York City and I missed it. I was in a meeting in the center of the building and none of us felt a thing.
We started getting e-mails about it and assumed it was just DC. But people seated near the windows did feel.
Did you?
Share your experience in the comments section.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Best Stadium Fight I've Ever Seen

A huge fight in the stands of the 49ers-Raiders preseason game. This one went on for quite a while before security was able to break it up.



Unfortunately things turned uglier after the game. A Raiders fan wearing a "Fuck the Niners" t-shirt was shot several times in the stomach. The second incident of horrific fan violence at a game in California this year.