From Champ to Chump

For years my go-to argument about why MMA is better than boxing is because one central body makes the fights, always pitting the champion against the best contender. Until now. Light heavyweight champion Jon “Bones” Jones refused to fight Chael Sonnen after his scheduled opponent, Dan Henderson hurt his knee and pulled out of their title fight at UFC 151. As a result, UFC had to cancel the entire event, the first time in 11 years that has happened.
Dana White and UFC fans are furious at Jon Jones over this. Jones, on the advice of his trainer Greg Jackson, declined to fight Sonnen with little more than a week’s notice. Even though Sonnen normally fights at 185 lbs instead of 205, and wasn’t even in training for a fight.
I understand why Jones wants to protect himself from a loss against an opponent he is not ready for. But this happens quite often, fighters get hurt weeks or days before the fight, and the code of honor in the UFC dictates that you just take on the next challenger, especially since he’s usually someone less threatening than the original opponent.
But I think this is an instance where the UFC has become a victim of its own success. Because there is so much more at stake financially with being a top fighter, and especially a champion, those fighters are less willing to take risks. This is one example, Jones not willing to risk his title. We have recently seen a big increase in the number of fighters pulling out of fights due to injury. Dan Henderson probably could have fought with this injury but wouldn’t be able to perform at his absolute best. And he didn’t want to take that chance in such a crucial fight. I believe other fighters who recently pulled out of fights for injuries, may have ignored those same injuries 5 or 10 years ago.
I also think this is manifesting itself in individual fights. I have detected a big increase in the number of decisions, and boring fights. Fighters seem a lot less willing to “stand and bang,” knowing a loss, especially one by knockout would hurt their careers.
But I don’t think Jon Bones Jones realizes the damage he has done to his reputation. Just a year ago he was a great young fighter, the rising star of the UFC with strong mainstream possibilities. First, he got drunk and wrapped his Bentley around a pole which hurt him with the mainstream audience. And now he did this which has totally turned off serious MMA fans.
I still think he will have a long and successful MMA career, he just has too much talent for it not to happen. But he will never again be a fan favorite. He will be the Floyd Mayweather of MMA.

I Think Jim Joyce is Square with the Universe Now

Umpire Jim Joyce is best known for royally fucking Armando Galarraga's "perfect game" but now he’s done something to more than make up for that mistake.
When Joyce arrived at Chase Field to umpire a game between the Diamondbacks and Marlins he saw a stadium food service worker having an apparent heart attack. Joyce quickly jumped into action, performing CPR and trying to revive her with the defibrillator.
Paramedics arrived on the scene had to revive her again. But they did and the woman is going to be ok.
Joyce worked home plate that night because it was his turn, even though his fellow umpires wanted him to take it easy at third base. He said he'd rather stay busy behind home plate rather than move to third and think about the incident for the entire game. I suppose his blown call, which he handled with extreme grace, has been nagging at him for two years. Now he has something else to think about it.

Song of the Week

"Tonight (Best You Ever Had") - John Legend featuring Ludacris

The rare R&B song I played for Mrs. Poop that she actually liked.

Why I Believe What I Believe

Most of you know me as a pretty logical guy, too smart to believe in nonsensical things such as horrorscopes, ghosts, psychics and anything else people can conjure up.
But there are some things I do believe in.
First of all, I believe in me. I believe what happens to me is up to me, because of what I do.
I also believe in luck, but I also believe that luck favors the prepared.
And through a life spent marveling at things that happen for no explicable reason, I've developed a healthy admiration for the force that put Mark Feinsand on the same plane as Master Bates two days after I e-mailed MB to ask him to reach out to Feinsand. And then got him to stumble upon my blog, after MB challenged this mysterious force to prove its existence. I call that mystical force "The Universe."
I first started to believe in the Universe after the lowest moment in my life. I've written about most of this before but never in this way, so bear with me.
After Mrs. Poop had a miscarriage we weren't sure how long it would be before they let us try again. When we were given the go-ahead we were ecstatic that she got knocked up again so quickly. But then disaster struck. We went for what was supposed to be a routine ultrasound and just like the first time, there was no heartbeat and they couldn't find the baby.
After two of the hardest days ever, we had an appointment on a Friday morning for an ultrasound to confirm the miscarriage. Then on Thursday, Mrs. Poop was scapegoated at work for a problem that had nothing to do with her. They threatened to reassign her to another area of the hospital (it never happened, so don't worry), and then a few hours later we were scheduled to get final confirmation of another miscarriage.
You probably can't even imagine how she felt, losing her second baby, and her job over the span of a couple of days.
But a funny thing happened on the way to rock bottom.
We heard a heartbeat. The baby we now know as Chase was there the whole time, just chilling in Mrs. Poop's uterus, his heart beating, a sound so wonderful, it brought tears to my eyes.
Later that day the universe sent Mrs. Poop an e-mail (using me as its conduit) which said "Sorry about your job. But you can have your baby back. Love, The Universe."
I know that we are all very lucky in the way things turned out because I wouldn't trade Chase for any child in the world. And I will gladly worship whatever mysterious force brought him to us.

I'm a Douche

Coach John Wooden always warned me, "be quick but don't hurry." When I rush I make mistakes. Eager to get on the road home from Toronto, I was loading the car, dropped the keys into the back and pressed the door close button. I really thought that once you pressed the remote to open a door, you also unlocked it, but that is true only for all the other doors, not the back. Thankfully, when I ran back into the hotel I saw my aunt who gave me her CAA (AAA only with a C) card. I called, the guy was there within 30 minutes. He put what looked like a blood pressure cuff into the door slot. He squeezed the pump, it inflated the cloth part, giving him enough room to insert a long stick with a hook on the end to push the lock open. It was that easy. So the locking of the car keys only cost us about an hour, and some headaches, but I'm still a douche.

What Do You Give Me For? John Goodman and Nadzeya Ostapchuk

Nadzeya Ostapchuk was stripped for her gold medal for failing a drug test. Maybe her striking resemblance to John Goodman should have been a tipoff.

Story suggested by JLeary

Song of the Week

"Forever and Ever Amen" - Randy Travis

I've had this song in my head ever since I saw Randy Travis's mugshot.

I Found the Hottest Olympian

After watching 17 days of coverage (including scouting for talent during the Opening Ceremonies) I believe I have found the hottest female Olympian. And I feel I kind of it to myself and the male Poopheads after yesterday's poll.

Her name is Jaqueline Carvalho but she goes by Jaque. She plays for the Brazilian women's volleyball team. And she is actually married to Murilo from the men's team. The announcers were gushing over what an attractive couple they make.

Man or Lady?

I am now about to introduce you to a game the Poop family has been playing for years. You pull up to Customs at the U.S./Canada border and before you can see you poll the car, "man or lady?" You have to guess which gender the agent will be. Let's do the same thing with the shot putter from Belarus. Nadzeya Ostapchuk stripped of the gold medal after failing a doping test.

The Post You've All Been Waiting For

Diesel in Maine in 2007:



Diesel in Maine in 2008:


Diesel in Maine in 2009:


Diesel in Maine in 2010:


Diesel in Maine in 2011:

Diesel in Maine in 2012

The Worst Thing to Happen in Badminton Since the Naming of the Shuttlecock

A major scandal erupting in badminton when several teams were disqualified for blatantly throwing matches.



Pretty funny to see it acted out this flagrantly. I can't say I blame the competitors. They were just trying to get what they felt was a better draw for themselves in the medal round. And the Chinese team was possibly trying to avoid the other Chinese team in hopes of setting up a gold medal match against them.

The pool play idea (round robin) has merit because it allows competitors to play more than once, eliminating the luck factor. It’s better than a single elimination, but it’s not perfect. I can understand why some teams would want to throw a match if it meant a more favorable matchup in the elimination rounds. And I’m not really sure how to arrange a system where that will never happen. So I guess this situation was handled correctly. Disqualify blatant match fixers and hope it serves as a threat to deter others who may want to try the same thing.

But in all the dramatic angst about this story I haven’t heard one beneficial suggestion on how to improve the system for the future.

Note: NBC took down the video and I can't find a suitable replacement.

Song of the Week

"Passionate Kisses" - Mary Chapin Carpenter
"Is it too much to demand
I want a full house and a rock and roll band
Pens that won't run out of ink
And cool quiet and time to think
Shouldn't I have this
Shouldn't I have this
Shouldn't I have all of this, and
Passionate kisses"

I hate it when my pen runs out of ink.

3000 Words

Cool picture I took while driving up the West Side Highway into a coming, and evidently a passing, storm.

A kayaker on Cape Cod paddles just feet in front of a shark.

Pretty impressive but I question the practicality of making a beer pong table out of sand.

I'm Gonna Get One for the Car and Two for the Bathrooms

Disney is now selling air fresheners that will remind you of its theme parks. There's the scent of Mickey's waffle, the candy apple, the Mickey Mouse premium ice cream bar, and even the turkey legs.

Song of the Week

"Head to Toe" - Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam
Worked with a girl named Lisa a couple weeks ago and this song has been in my head ever since. A true 80s classic. It's a real shame that Paula Abdul has had a long and successful career and Lisa Lisa hasn't.

What Do You Give Me For? Graham Elliot & Chas Bono

What do you give me for Graham Elliot from MasterChef and Chas Bono?

She Can Handle a Flagpole

After Paul McCartney's mumbling and perhaps drunken rendition of "Hey Jude" the most talked about event at the Opening Ceremonies was the Norwegian team's entrance. Because they were led by flag bearer Mira Veras (Veraas) Larsen. She is a sprint canoeist, and she is married to one of Norway's other great canoeists. And they left their wedding in a canoe, instead of a car with beer cans tied to it.

Hot Racist Kicked Off Olympic Team

Greek triple jumper Voula Papachristou was kicked off the Olympic team for this racist tweet:

"With so many Africans in Greece, the West Nile mosquitoes will be getting homemade food!!!"

It's a shame about her being a miserable racist because she is really freakin hot.

Song of the Week

"Full Moon" - Brandy
I was a little puzzled about what to do with 2002, but then I remembered how much I liked this song.

Red-Shirting

I have known for quite a while that CBS News was a hopelessly biased news organization. But I hoped in non-political coverage it would be a little more fair. I was wrong.



This casts parents who red-shirt as even villains who are trying to push their children into success in sports at the expense of other kids.

In our school district the cutoff date is October 1. So our August babies will always be among the youngest in their class.

We briefly talked about red-shirting Chase when we sent him to preschool a couple weeks after his second birthday, while some kids were just a couple months short of turning 3. Chase has done well in preschool and his teachers saw no need to keep him back. So he'll go to kindergarten in the fall as scheduled.

We were also contemplating it with Julian, who seemed in greater need of maturity, but lately he has had an explosion of language, and coupled with his enormous size, red-shirting likely won't be necessary in his case either.

But what if we felt it was? That should be a parents decision. I resent the implication that red-shirting is cheating, or somehow harming the other kids. And even if it were, why should what's marginally better for some other child supersede what you feel is much better for your own?

I also resent the implication that this is just for fathers who want their sons to be sports stars. What's so wrong with wanting your child not to be one of the smallest kids, to avoid bullying? Or for him to at least be good enough at sports to build his confidence, to make him be the first kid picked not the last, to make him feel an important part of the group instead of a benchwarmer. I think all parents want those things for their kids. Regardless of what that old fossil Morley Safer thinks.