Now You Can See Hannah Davis's Pussy

After all the controversy because we could almost see Hannah Davis's pussy on her Sports Illustrated cover, now we can. Building off the success of their Rob Lowe campaign DirecTV hired 3 models to star in their own version of the ads.

Here's hot, normal Hannah Davis

And now here's Cat Lady Hannah Davis

Now I doubt they knew there would be a huge controversy over Davis's "cat" when they shot this ad campaign, but it certainly is a happy coincidence.

Here's Chrissy Teigen

And Mom Jeans Chrissy Teigen

And finally, Nina Agdal

And Lunch Lady Nina Agdal

I like how they kept fidelity to the original pose and just changed everything else to make the pictures incredibly different.

I won't even bother with a WYB? on these because I know the answers are still 3 resounding yeses but in order of preference, I still think Mom Jeans Chrissy is kind of hot, Cat Lady Hannah is a little scary but Lunch Lady Nina is the worst.

Song of the Week

"Come On Down" - Crystal Waters
I was trying to find a song that samples "The Price is Right" theme and believe it or not there were quite a few to choose from.

Did Hannah Davis Fire a Shot at Kate Upton?

The incredibly hot Hannah Davis has had to spend the past few days answering questions about the photo of her on the cover of the 2015 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue where she is pulling her bikini bottom down so low, her clit is practically poking out.

After being pelted with questions about her almost-showing vagina, Davis came up with a pat answer "I think SI always tries to do something a little different every year, and I think this year, it’s the year of the torso.”

So this year is about torsos, and that's different than the last few years?

I think Davis might be subtly pointing out that Kate Upton is all boobs and her stomach is not flat, at least by bikini model standards.

Maybe she is jealous of Upton's ample blessings (not that Davis is flat-chested by any means) and the success she gotten because of them.

Maybe she just meant SI was going in a different direction, just to be different.

Or maybe I am reading too much into this. But I kind of like the idea of a Davis-Upton catfight.

Four Little Nuggets

This is the Bio-Bus which operates in England. It seats 40 people and runs on biomethane gas "generated through the treatment of sewage and food waste that's unfit for human consumption."
The waste is processed over 12 to 18 days through a process of anaerobic digestion. The result is a biogas rich in methane. This biogas is further processed before being upgraded to be the same composition as natural gas.

You can also donate your poop (I tried really hard to find out if this was a hoax, but if it is no one has caught on yet). Something called OpenBiome says poop transplants work to for people who have something called C. difficile by introducing new bacteria to their large intestines, via their rectums.
They are offering $13,000 a year for people who can commit to make a solid donation 5 days a week. But you have to live in Medford, Massachusetts, meet some other requirements and be able to go to their lab everyday. As perfect as this job sounds for me, I don't think I have the time.

But I do have the time, and the need, to poop at work occasionally, so this video came in handy:



And though NBC cut away from it just in time, those in the stadium caught Doug Baldwin fake-pooping the football during his touchdown celebration at the Super Bowl.

Stories suggested by Master Bates and Mrs. Poop

Timing is Everything

Syracuse imposed sanctions on itself, meaning the men's basketball team will not play in the postseason this year.
The timing of this is pretty good as the team was not likely to make the NCAA Tournament and had a significant chance of missing the NIT as well.
So far this season SU is 6-3 in the ACC but 4 of those wins came against teams with only one conference win and 5 games against top 10 teams remain (Louisville, Virginia, Notre Dame and Duke twice).
So Syracuse elected to take the minor pain now and hope to avoid more serious sanctions when the team is better next year.
The victim here is Rakim Christmas who obviously was not involved in any of the behavior being punished, all of which happened before 2012, and some of which dates back to 2007.
Although it hasn't yet been made abundantly clear what violations SU is telling on itself for.
How does this make me feel as an alumnus and ardent supporter of the team? Kind of bad.
Unfortunately, every single major program breaks the rules. I guess there's a kind of moral relativism in me being willing to accept misdemeanors, so long as there aren't recruiting or payment "felonies" included in this.

Friends Forever

Jimmy Fallon reunited the cast of "Saved By the Bell" and I know it's really hard to find on the internet so I decided to post it here.



I guess Lark Voorhees was busy and Screech didn't make parole.

At Least I Did Better Than CJ Fair

CJ Fair drew this picture of Otto for ESPN last year.

I drew this picture of Otto for my kids last week.

Song of the Week

"Cecilia" - Simon & Garfunkel
So Cecilia was pretty much a big slut, wasn't she?

Greg Anthony's Hooker Habit Is Our Gain

When CBS's Greg Anthony got arrested and subsequently suspended for trying to hire a hooker to his hotel room, I remarked that the story's details were unremarkable.
But it has led to something quite extraordinary: Bill Raftery will take Anthony's place and call the Final Four this year.
I'm hoping for a close game so we can hear something like this:



Or maybe someone will throw down a nasty dunk:

If Mike Tyson Were a Groundhog

Jimmy, the official groundhog in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin bit the mayor's ear during a Groundhog Day celebration.
Why was he so close to the Mayor, was it to simulate him whispering in his ear?

Story Suggested by Razor.

Another Super Super Bowl

Before I get into any of the machinations of the game I just want to say how lucky I feel to be in an unprecedented run of great Super Bowls. Surely it will be as fleeting the run of blowouts that marred my childhood.

I still rank Steelers-Cardinals as the great Super Bowl I ever saw, with Giants-Patriots I (Helmet Catch) but this one certainly makes an argument for that third spot.

It had an amazing ending, a goal line interception in the final seconds. That was a terrible play call, absolutely the worst. How do you not try with Marshawn Lynch there, at least on second down, if it doesn't work call time out and then consider your options. Nothing else needs to be said about it, it was a terrible move, a risk he didn't need to take. There is no argument in favor of it. Even though the Patriots would know it was coming, their odds of stopping it were low.

It's possible that Carroll was just caught off guard by that ridiculous catch by Jermaine Kearse.

Because Belichick certainly wasn't planning for a goal line situation either. After that first down play he should have called timeout and told his guys to just let Lynch score on second down. That would have been their best chance to get the ball back with some time remaining to kick a field goal and take their chances in overtime.

That is of course barring something colossally stupid by the Seahawks. We should also mention that even though it was absolutely, positively the wrong play-call, the odds of it turning into a game-losing interception were still very, very low.

You'd hate to say a team that cheats every time it wins benefited from good karma, but look at the NFC playoffs this year. Dallas beats Detroit on a questionable pass interference no call. Then the Cowboys lose on a properly-enforced but iffy ruling that Dez Bryant's catch was not a touchdown. The Packers took that break into Seattle and dominated the Seahawks until a series of fluke plays including a rainbow 2-point conversion gave the Seahawks the win. And then of course, this happened to them in the Super Bowl.

The Seahawks are likely to be decimated by free agency and there is no telling how many guys will stay and how many will go and how the team will perform after that, such is the reality of the modern-day NFL.

Which makes it even more amazing that Brady and Belichick have been to six Super Bowls and won 4 in the 14 seasons since Brady became the starter. Kudos to them for a great Super Bowl that unfortunately will be remembered for mistakes, rather that great plays.

Super Bowl Prop Bets

This is actually one of my favorite posts to write all year, even though it normally takes me hours. This year I'm using bovada and betonline but I can't direct link to the proper pages so you'll have to find them yourself. We'll start with the game and then move on to the ridiculous.

Super Bowl MVP
Rob Gronkowski 10/1
Tom Brady at 2/1 is a little too obvious and Russell Wilson at 7/2 is still a high price for a QB who is not the focal point of his team. If the Seahawks win it could very well be a random defensive player again. If the Pats win Brady will get the benefit of the doubt, but I feel confident that Gronk scores 2 TDs at least 10% of the time.

Player to Score First TD
Marshawn Lynch 11/2
Rob Gronkowski 13/2
Roughly 6 to 1 that one of these guys will be the one. The odds have to be better than 15%. Both of them are the focal points for their teams' offenses and likely a big part of their early game strategy as well.

Chandler Jones Sacks
Over 1/2 (-150)
Wilson does a lot of scrambling so Chandler could catch him one yard behind the line and still get credit for a sack.

Russell Wilson Passing Yards
Under 219 1/2 (-105)
I think the Patriots secondary is quite good and the Seahakws receivers aren't. I just don't see Wilson having a big passing game.

Russell Wilson Rushing Yards
Over 40 1/2 (-125)
I guess these last three bets all fit together. The Patriots defensive backs tightly cover the Seahawks receivers, Wilson is forced to scramble a lot. If the game doesn't play out like that I could very well be wrong on everything, including my pick of New England to win.

Marshawn Lynch Rushing Attempts
Under 20 1/2 (even)
This seems like a lot, unless the Seahawks have a big lead and try to pound the rock -- and do so effectively.

Luke Wilson Receptions
5 or more (+400)
I know this is kind of a long shot but he is a frequent safety valve for his brother Russell so he could see the ball quite a bit.

Richard Sherman Interceptions
Under 1/2 (-230)

Richard Sherman Tackles
Under 3 1/2 (-105)
I just think Sherman is not going to have a huge impact on this game.

Will Rob Gronkowski have more than 100 receiving yards
Yes (+190)
I wouldn't say I necessarily think this is going to happen, but I like the wager at this price.

Now let's move on to the fun stuff.
Minutes of Silva-Diaz vs. Legarrette Blount carries
Silva Diaz (-105)
I'm just not sure if Silva has it in him anymore for a first round knockout. More likely this goes the full 25. Unlikely Blount gets more than 15 carries.

How Long Will It Take Idina Menzel to Sing the National Anthem
Under 2 minutes and 1 second (-130)
I know she is a ham and she will hold some notes, but this is incredibly long for the anthem. Even Whitney Houston didn't break the 2-minute barrier.

Will Idina Menzel Omit or Forget At Least One Word
No (-700)
There is zero chance this is happening. She is way too conscientious too not have studied and way too seasoned to get nervous. If I owned a hedge fund I would put all my money on this and then close our books for the year with a 14% return.

What Color Will Bill Belichicl's Hoodie Be?
Grey (-120)
This is pretty much a two horse race with blue (no way he wears red) but I kind of feel like grey is the easy choice here.

What Will Katy Perry Be Wearing When She Begins the Halftime Show?
Pants (+450)
This is a huge dog but I think it has a real shot. Because she could come out in something covered up and then strip it away as the show goes on.

Will Katy Perry Be Showing Cleavage During the Halftime Show?
Yes (-700)
She didn't pay thousands of dollars for those things only to keep them covered up in front of the biggest audience she'll ever have.

What Will the Nielsen Rating of the Game Be?
Over 47 1/2 (-120)
Always tricky but these games keep getting more popular and I expect this one to be close and exciting.

What Color Gatorade Will be Dumped on the Winning Coach's Head?
Orange (3/2)
The Patriots always go with the tried and true.

Temperature at Kickoff
Under 67 1/2 degrees (-115)
It has been unseasonably cool in Arizona all week.

Super Bowl Pick

My hot postseason continues, and I was one historic collapse away from entering the Super Bowl with a perfect 10-0 playoff record (in my pre-playoffs straight winners) but at least I got them both right with the spread to go 7-3.

New England Patriots -1/2 Seattle Seahawks
I am going to take New England here. I don't really have a good Xs and Os reason for it. It's more about not thinking the Seahawks will repeat and not thinking the Patriots will lose three consecutive Super Bowls (they've played in).
If I were going to try to analyze the game, I would say that I think the Seattle secondary won't be able to shut down Rob Gronkowski. And when Brady gets going to the Gronk it usually opens up the rest of their offense.
As for their defense, I think the Patriots secondary will be able to blanket the Seahawks inferior wide receivers. If they can in turn stop Marshawn Lynch, the game will depend on how Russell Wilson does running the ball.
I have always been a Wilson doubter but the guy just makes plays. Somehow he always does exactly what his team needs, when they need it, like that 2-point conversion against the Packers.
But this time he's against Tom Brady, and a pretty decent Pats defense.
I think it will be a close game and I'm going to say New England 27 Seattle 23.

Last week: 2-0 (3 points)
Season: 48-47 (43 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (9-11)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (17-20)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (12-12)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (17-14)

Boy Did They Blow That One

I have the indisputable answer as to why weather forecasters were so incorrect in predicting the severity of the recent snowstorm:
predicting the future is impossible.
Weather forecasts are just best guesses. You can have computer models anticipating everything but then one butterfly flaps his or her wings in TON's backyard in New Jersey and it changes the snowfall amounts at the palatial Damino estate in Westchester County.
But that doesn't mean they didn't fuck up royally. The meteorological community has a vested interest in going with the most dire forecasts they can reasonably get behind:
1) It makes people pay attention to them
2) It earns them money
3) They really feel like they are doing the right then to keep people safe
4) It's better to err on the high side, than on the low side

Unfortunately idiot politicians to whom we entrust way too much power and control of our lives, took these Chicken Little predictions and shut down entire cities for no good reason.

Note: it's a shame that we don't trust one another enough (we may be justified) to let people use their own judgement of whether or not it's safe to drive and go to work.

Song of the Week

"Life's a Bitch" - Nas featuring AZ
Excellent use of the sample from "Yearning For Your Love" by the Gap Band (SOTW, 6/8/11).
I watched a pretty cool documentary on Nas and really enjoyed it. It explored Illmatic which I always thought was slightly overrated. But hearing where the songs come from and how influential they were at the time gave me a new appreciation for it.

Created By Robert Kraft

In our ongoing efforts to bring you all the Super Bowl news you need to know, from the ridiculous to the sublime (this is both), here is the theme song for the new ABC sitcom "Growing Pats."



What makes it even funnier is that my favorite Patriot, Julian Edelman was the OP (original poster) of this video.

I Disagree With the Two Bills Here

Here is my favorite announcer Bill Walton giving birthday gifts to his friend and colleague Dave Pasch:



Billy sent me this video because he thought it was funny. Normally if the two Bills like something, I love it too.
Not this time.
Here's why: Walton gives Pasch a book on Darwin and says "we want to make sure you believe in evolution." Pasch replies "I don't." Clearly they have had this dicussion before.
Personally I do believe in evolution but that's not the point here.
The point is Dave Pasch does not deserve to be mocked for his views. On national TV no less, with the Twitter trolls watching.
I feel that liberals often feel that anyone who disagrees with only does so because they don't understand the real issue.
And liberals seemingly have unending tolerance and sympathetic catchphrases (like "Genetic Sexual Attraction" for people who date their biological parents) for everyone in the world, except someone who disagrees with them.
One example I would give is the #blacklivesmatter hashtag. This seems to imply that if you don't want to riot in the streets because Michael Brown got killed after robbing a store and punching cop, then you are a racist who doesn't care when black people die.
It seems to me this is just another example of how liberals just can't possibly understand how anyone could see the issue differently.

Note: I'm not saying conservatives aren't like this too, I just perceive it less often and less hostile.

Built In Excuse

The Patriots and Bill Belichick made a huge mistake in trying to shield responsibility and feigning ignorance about the current deflated balls scandal. All they should have said was the balls were inflated to the proper PSI and then Vince Wilfork tripped and fell on them.

I Got My Legos

Back by popular demand a 2015 version of Bad Lip Reading. Not as funny as the original but because I found it while it's still in the embryonic state og 301+ youtube views, I figure I would share and be early for once:

DeflateGate

First of all, adding -gate to every scandal has gotten tired. It should only be used if it involves a problem with an actual gate or with former Charlotte Hornet David Wingate.
Second of all, if the Patriots purposely deflated the ball to less than what it is supposed to be in an attempt to gain an advantage that is cheating. It doesn't matter if they would have won anyway, it doesn't matter if there was no real advantage. If they did something against the rules in the hopes of getting an advantage, that's cheating.
What should the punishment be?
They NFL will never, never, never, never, never, never, never (SOTW, 3/21/12) disqualify the Patriots from the Super Bowl and replace them with the Colts, or replay the game. That is never going to happen. And I think that is a little too severe.
I also think the NFL is going to purposely drag out this sham investigation until after the Super Bowl to alleviate any discussion of the matter.
But the league absolutely has to throw the book at the organization. $1m fine, a forfeited first round draft pick and a minimum of a 4-game suspension for Bill Belichick.
He was the mastermind of the biggest cheating scandal (such as it was) in recent NFL history with Spygate (damn!) and now this.
But if anyone deserves to lose to a cheater it's Pete Carroll who cheated his way through USC and then used the same blind eye to ignore rampant drug abuse (Adderrall) on the Seahawks.
These two scumbags deserve each other.
Whoever said "cheaters never win" was wrong.