Chase's Underwhelming Reaction to Something I Thought Was Really Cool

I have met many celebrities in my career, most of them didn't even register with me as anything more than a smile and a good to meet you. There were a few I wanted to get a picture with (Uncle Mick Foley, Jonathan Duhamel and Jon Bones Jones).

But never have I been more insistent on meeting a celebrity, tried harder to do it, and had a more unusual request than when I recently met Larry the Cable Guy.

For those of you without children, please understand that LTCG (nee Daniel Whitney) is the voice of Mater in "Cars" and the forthcoming sequel "Cars 2."

Chase absolutely loves Mater and is so excited to see the new movie (I will elaborate in a future post) that I just had to get him to record a brief message on my blackberry.

I had all my minions following his every move throughout the building but my schedule and his just didn't work out and I thought I had missed him. As luck would have it I was walking right past where he was, so I waited around and much to the dismay of his PR person, I accosted him and he complied with my request.

He couldn't have been a nicer guy to everyone, not just me. And his message was pretty awesome, even though Chase didn't react with the amazement I expected.

From Shaggy to This

I was almost sure I had posted this video years ago, but apparently I never did.
It's a now famous clip of Casey Kasem freaking out.



So many great lines in this one:

"He was a little dog named Snuggles."

"Is Don on the phone?"

"What happened to the pictures I was supposed to see this week?"

"I gotta talk about a fuckin dog dying."

Sad to think the man who once lent his voice the loveable laid-back stoner Shaggy eventually turned into a ranting, raving lunatic.

Happy Birthday Poop

You constantly recognize everyone's birthday in this forum so I thought I owed you one. You may not be the easiest little brother on the planet, but I wouldn't trade you for too many others.

In recognition of Paul's 33 years on the planet, if every reader could post a favorite Poop birthday memory or some other funny story about him that would be great.

Happy Birthday baby bro.

And happy half birthday to my oldest daughter. She has amazed me every day for the past six and a half years and has taught me much more than I can ever teach her. Happy 1/2 Birthday munchkin face.

Happy Birthday Damino

A very happy birthday to Damino. Quite unusual to still know, 33 years later, another person who was born on the same day, in the same hospital.
Unfortunately we don't have any pictures of us together then, now or any time in between.

You Can't Say I Never Listened

The cemetery is a popular place. People are dying to get in there.

If Papa Poop taught me anything, that is it.

Happy Fathers' Day to mine and all the other dads out there.

This is Not a Joke

The other night while driving to work at 3:30 AM I was traveling in the center lane on Route 4. A car zips past me in the left lane. I was doing low 60s, I estimate this car was doing at least 80.
I saw it was a cop car and wondered where it was going that fast. And I then surmised if there had been a real emergency it would have had its lights on.
I was able to follow its tail lights, since no one else was on the road and saw it pull into its final destination: Dunkin Donuts.
What a cliche.

I Hope I Don't Jinx Myself

I can't hold it in any longer. For years I have been play Beat the Streak on mlb.com. The object is simple, pick one player everyday (no restrictions) and build a hitting streak. If your guy doesn't get a hit that day, your streak is over.

My longest streak prior to this year was 11 games. Right now I am riding a 15-game hitting streak.
I know I am still 41 games short of Joe DiMaggio but the prize for passing him and getting to 57 games is $5.6m.
And I am nearly halfway to this season's longest streak of 31 games.
So I know it's early, and I am not counting my chickens, I just thought it would be fun to share my streak, my selections and have you cheer along with me.

Tonight's selection is Prince Fielder because he is facing John Lackey who has a 7.41 ERA and a .297 batting average against.

This Had to Happen

If ever there were two things destined to be brought together by the Universe, they had to be Samuel L. Jackson and "Go the Fuck to Sleep."



Note: audible keeps taking down the videos

Jim Walsh Has Fallen on Hard Times

James Eckhouse apparently has been unable to find much work after his stint as Jim Walsh, Brandon and Brenda's father, on Beverly Hills, 90210 ended.
He's now slumming in a V8 commercial.

Funny or Douchey?

Karl Stefanovic, anchor of Australia's version of the Today Show, recently scored an interview with the Dalai Lama.
And this is what he did with it:



The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says "can you make me one with everything?"

Ok, I think we can all agree the result leans towards douchey, but just grade him on the attempt please. I thought it was quite a funny joke to tell the Dalai Lama.

The part about him not being fluent in English is what ruined it.

Song of the Week

"Pass Out" - Tinie Tempah
Not sure why I like this, but I kind of do.

Why I Do What I Do

I was recently asked an interesting question (and the answer was important because my boss was the one asking), why are you in this business?

I said "because I like telling stories."

And that's essentially what I like about my job.

And it's what I love about this blog.

Yes, there are a lot of posts I just throw together very quickly and don't put much thought into. I don't have an editor and I don't pore over sentences for typos (as many of you have pointed out). And in most cases I don't even proofread to make sure I am not committing the same grammatical infractions I make fun of people for in everyday life.

And that doesn't include the posts when I just google image a hot chick and slap up five bikini pictures.

But there are some posts that matter to me a little more. There's a story out there, a hot topic, and there's so many angles to it. And many of you don't have time -- and don't get paid -- to read all the various reports and sort fact from fiction.

It's those posts I take the most pride in. I want them to be thorough so you know every single essential detail. But I don't want them to be so long you get bored reading them.

For instance, the first post on Anthony Weiner (which got a huge number of comments which I always appreciate), the Lance Armstrong post (though I got a huge assist from Wikipedia), the Wilpon defense (this one was even harder because almost all of you who had enough interest to read my post also had enough interest to read the original article. So I had to explain, and offer unique insight) and finally, my personal favorite, the Dominique Strauss-Kahn if she ain't bitin ain't fightin post.

It's in those posts when I'm being entertaining, amusing and informative all at the same time that I am doing what I was put on this Earth to do: tell people stories.

Music to Pluck To

The laws of kashrut (keeping kosher) require animals to be treated humanely. So when the goyim dump their freshly killed chickens into boiling hot water, Jews don't do that because the animal can still feel it. The downside is, kosher chickens have many more feathers than non-kosher chickens. Because the scalding hot water helps the automatic pickers remove the feathers much easier.

The point of all this is, it's quite a painstaking process to clean a kosher chicken for cooking and eating. This is especially true of chicken wings. It's a near impossibility to get all the feathers off, but each time I typically spend half an hour plucking feathers and singing to myself.

Which is a better song to sing while plucking chicken wings?

"Pretty Wings" - Maxwell



"Take These Broken Wings" - Mr. Mister

Happy Birthday Mrs. Poop

In honor of the birthday of Mrs. Poop we celebrate two of her passions. Buying the boys the same shirt and taking pictures of them wearing them.

Note: Mrs. Poop did not buy all these matching outfits.

What Do You Give Me For? Bob Ojeda & Paul Reiser

What do you give me for Bobby Ojeda and Paul Reiser?
I know this pictures don't really do the comparison justice but they were the best I could find.
Before you vote watch the SNY Mets pregame show. Once you have a good idea of what Bobby O looks like, watch this video of the Paul Reiser Show. Do that and your vote will be much higher.

Song of the Week

"Yearning For Your Love" - The Gap Band
Uncle Charlie before he was Uncle Charlie.
This legendary quiet storm classic has been sampled many times, including by a past song of the week "Love Like This" by Natasha Beddingfield.

The Straw That Broke Weiner's Back

Lest you believe Congressman Anthony Weiner's big confession was caused by an attack of conscience, let me show you this:



That is a picture of a shirtless Anthony Weiner (though you can't see his face completely you can tell it's him, and confirm with a close examanation of the items behind him, including a picture of his wife) sent to a 26-year-old single mother in Texas, Megan Broussard.

In return Broussard sent him this:



And when Broussard decided for whatever reason she wanted to come out about her online relationship with Weiner she released other pictures to the press, including eventually ABC News. Here's one Weiner sent along with the caption "me and the pussys."



And that's what forced Weiner to finally come out and admit everything. He says he had online relationships with 6 women but never met them in person (I believe him, but after all these lies I couldn't blame someone who didn't). He says most of the relationships started before he was married, but not the one with Broussard.



On April 20th he posted a video of a speech on his Facebook page. She commented "hottttt" and he friended her on Facebook immediately. They started chatting and exchanging sexual messages. She didn't believe it was him so she asked him to write "me" on a piece of paper and take a picture with it.



So far we know of two women sexting with the Congressman. Maybe we'll hear from the other 4 maybe we won't. If we do, I hope they are hotter than these two so far.

But let me repeat this so I am clear. I really don't care what the hell he does on his free time. If he had come out and said right away that he was sending these pictures and having these conversations I would be defending him. I would say that's between him and his wife and nobody else. But it's the lying that always makes it 10 times worse. I don't care if he resigns or not. But I can understand the calls for his head, because of the lying.

Damino Learns An Important Lesson

15 years ago today Damino learned that you should never invite the whole school to a party at your house.

Never have the entire school over for a party when your Nana (may she rest in peace) lives downstairs.

One party ball is not enough beer for the entire school.

Damino also knows you never stop growing and learning.

He has learned a few more important lessons.

Always believe the worst about a politician.

Never believe a convoluted explanation when a simpler one is out there.

And never go against me when it comes to ferreting out the truth.

Rep. Anthony Weiner confirmed what I believed all along when he said "the picture was of me, and I sent it."

He went on to admit having internet or phone relationships with 6 women but claims he never met any of these women in person, just carried sexual conversations and exchanged the occasional lewd picture with these women. I hope he is telling the truth this time.

Several times during his press conference he said he was taking responsibility for his actions.

WRONG!

I have written many times on this blog about the importance of personal responsibility. I think it's the biggest problem affecting this country right now. No one takes responsibility for anything.

And it starts at the top. Bill Clinton (I know he wasn't the first) lied and lied and lied, until he got caught and couldn't lie anymore, then he apologized, admitted it and begged forgiveness.

Bill Clinton officiated Anthony Weiner's politically expedient wedding so I guess we shouldn't be surprised that when Weiner violated it he looked to his mentor for an example of how to take a scandal and blow it up into something 10 times worse by lying about it.

That's not personal responsibility. Once you've been caught, it's too late to be responsible. Personal responsibility is standing up and admitting wrongdoing because it's wrong, not because you have no other choice.

But politicians (in both parties) only care about themselves and their careers, and they will never take responsibility for their actions.

I just hope Damino learned that lesson this time.

Julian is Growing Up -- Fast

Julian is 10 months old today and though he isn't talking yet, he has figured out a way to make himself understood. This is how he tells us he's hungry (wait for the big finish, he's also a little too young to know he needs to begin his performance as soon as the red light goes on):



And he's not walking yet, not even doing a real crawl, but he still manages to get himself around:



As you can see, Julian was crawling towards Diesel's water bowl which likely signals the beginning of the worst phase of child-rearing.



This is when a newly mobile child realizes he can get anywhere and touch anything (at a certain height). This is how the next few months will play out. Julian will crawl (eventually walk) for something, say an electrical outlet. I will grab him, relocate him to a safe zone and he will cry. Or he will get something of Chase's possibly a toy, or maybe a picture or something he can rip/crinkle or destroy. I will take it away from him and he'll cry, and because something of his was just ruined, Chase will cry too. That is what we call going from zero to two crying children in about 4.8 seconds.

Third Time is a Trend for Rampage

Quinton "Rampage" Jackson has struck again. Check out his interview with a reporter (Karyn Bryant formerly of CNN Headline News's "Showbiz Tonight.")

Skip ahead to 1:25 for the real good part



Rampage wanted to be a "motor boatin sonovabitch". Pretty funny for us, maybe not so much for Miss Bryant. She tried laughing it off and her body language makes it seem she was somewhat flattered. But I still think it's totally inappropriate. But funny.

You heard Rampage reference how he be humpin reporters, and it's true. This is now the third time I have written about this. There was the time he did a Japanese reporter doggystyle and also an incident where he humped a really hot chick standing up.