What Do You Give Me For? John Goodman and Nadzeya Ostapchuk

Nadzeya Ostapchuk was stripped for her gold medal for failing a drug test. Maybe her striking resemblance to John Goodman should have been a tipoff.

Story suggested by JLeary

Song of the Week

"Forever and Ever Amen" - Randy Travis

I've had this song in my head ever since I saw Randy Travis's mugshot.

I Found the Hottest Olympian

After watching 17 days of coverage (including scouting for talent during the Opening Ceremonies) I believe I have found the hottest female Olympian. And I feel I kind of it to myself and the male Poopheads after yesterday's poll.

Her name is Jaqueline Carvalho but she goes by Jaque. She plays for the Brazilian women's volleyball team. And she is actually married to Murilo from the men's team. The announcers were gushing over what an attractive couple they make.

Man or Lady?

I am now about to introduce you to a game the Poop family has been playing for years. You pull up to Customs at the U.S./Canada border and before you can see you poll the car, "man or lady?" You have to guess which gender the agent will be. Let's do the same thing with the shot putter from Belarus. Nadzeya Ostapchuk stripped of the gold medal after failing a doping test.

The Post You've All Been Waiting For

Diesel in Maine in 2007:



Diesel in Maine in 2008:


Diesel in Maine in 2009:


Diesel in Maine in 2010:


Diesel in Maine in 2011:

Diesel in Maine in 2012

The Worst Thing to Happen in Badminton Since the Naming of the Shuttlecock

A major scandal erupting in badminton when several teams were disqualified for blatantly throwing matches.



Pretty funny to see it acted out this flagrantly. I can't say I blame the competitors. They were just trying to get what they felt was a better draw for themselves in the medal round. And the Chinese team was possibly trying to avoid the other Chinese team in hopes of setting up a gold medal match against them.

The pool play idea (round robin) has merit because it allows competitors to play more than once, eliminating the luck factor. It’s better than a single elimination, but it’s not perfect. I can understand why some teams would want to throw a match if it meant a more favorable matchup in the elimination rounds. And I’m not really sure how to arrange a system where that will never happen. So I guess this situation was handled correctly. Disqualify blatant match fixers and hope it serves as a threat to deter others who may want to try the same thing.

But in all the dramatic angst about this story I haven’t heard one beneficial suggestion on how to improve the system for the future.

Note: NBC took down the video and I can't find a suitable replacement.

Song of the Week

"Passionate Kisses" - Mary Chapin Carpenter
"Is it too much to demand
I want a full house and a rock and roll band
Pens that won't run out of ink
And cool quiet and time to think
Shouldn't I have this
Shouldn't I have this
Shouldn't I have all of this, and
Passionate kisses"

I hate it when my pen runs out of ink.

3000 Words

Cool picture I took while driving up the West Side Highway into a coming, and evidently a passing, storm.

A kayaker on Cape Cod paddles just feet in front of a shark.

Pretty impressive but I question the practicality of making a beer pong table out of sand.

I'm Gonna Get One for the Car and Two for the Bathrooms

Disney is now selling air fresheners that will remind you of its theme parks. There's the scent of Mickey's waffle, the candy apple, the Mickey Mouse premium ice cream bar, and even the turkey legs.

Song of the Week

"Head to Toe" - Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam
Worked with a girl named Lisa a couple weeks ago and this song has been in my head ever since. A true 80s classic. It's a real shame that Paula Abdul has had a long and successful career and Lisa Lisa hasn't.

What Do You Give Me For? Graham Elliot & Chas Bono

What do you give me for Graham Elliot from MasterChef and Chas Bono?

She Can Handle a Flagpole

After Paul McCartney's mumbling and perhaps drunken rendition of "Hey Jude" the most talked about event at the Opening Ceremonies was the Norwegian team's entrance. Because they were led by flag bearer Mira Veras (Veraas) Larsen. She is a sprint canoeist, and she is married to one of Norway's other great canoeists. And they left their wedding in a canoe, instead of a car with beer cans tied to it.

Hot Racist Kicked Off Olympic Team

Greek triple jumper Voula Papachristou was kicked off the Olympic team for this racist tweet:

"With so many Africans in Greece, the West Nile mosquitoes will be getting homemade food!!!"

It's a shame about her being a miserable racist because she is really freakin hot.

Song of the Week

"Full Moon" - Brandy
I was a little puzzled about what to do with 2002, but then I remembered how much I liked this song.

Red-Shirting

I have known for quite a while that CBS News was a hopelessly biased news organization. But I hoped in non-political coverage it would be a little more fair. I was wrong.



This casts parents who red-shirt as even villains who are trying to push their children into success in sports at the expense of other kids.

In our school district the cutoff date is October 1. So our August babies will always be among the youngest in their class.

We briefly talked about red-shirting Chase when we sent him to preschool a couple weeks after his second birthday, while some kids were just a couple months short of turning 3. Chase has done well in preschool and his teachers saw no need to keep him back. So he'll go to kindergarten in the fall as scheduled.

We were also contemplating it with Julian, who seemed in greater need of maturity, but lately he has had an explosion of language, and coupled with his enormous size, red-shirting likely won't be necessary in his case either.

But what if we felt it was? That should be a parents decision. I resent the implication that red-shirting is cheating, or somehow harming the other kids. And even if it were, why should what's marginally better for some other child supersede what you feel is much better for your own?

I also resent the implication that this is just for fathers who want their sons to be sports stars. What's so wrong with wanting your child not to be one of the smallest kids, to avoid bullying? Or for him to at least be good enough at sports to build his confidence, to make him be the first kid picked not the last, to make him feel an important part of the group instead of a benchwarmer. I think all parents want those things for their kids. Regardless of what that old fossil Morley Safer thinks.

Am I Supposed to Be Sad About This?

When I saw this e-card I immediately thought of one person: Jared G. He was exactly the person described here. He played football, he was nominally cool, girls thought he was cute and he thought he was hot shit. One time, on the bus back from a trip to Quebec, I was trying to sleep and he was fucking with me. Putting his hands in my face, grazing my nose, so I jumped up, slapped his hands away and told him to cut the shit. He punched me in the face and broke my glasses. While we never had another incident and I seldom was around him, I always felt like he thought he was better than me because he had gotten the best of me that day, and because he was cooler in high school.

Last week Jared G. killed himself. He shot himself in his car in the Village Greens Shopping Center in Arden Heights. He was married with a young child. After college at CSI, Jared opened up a beer distributor on Manor Rd (or bought the existing one) with at least one of his other high school football buddies who also lacked skills translatable to a job in the real world. Evidently that venture failed because in the article about his death the Advance says he was driving a cement truck.

They say living well is the best revenge so I guess it would be hard to deny I got revenge on Jared. Me working where I work and him driving a cement truck is the real world equivalent of me being on the football team and him running track.

I wouldn't say I am happy he's dead, nor that I smiled when I heard that he died, but I don't feel any sadness for him either. I am sad that his young child has to grow up without a father, but other than that nothing. Obviously his life didn't turn out the way he hoped when he was walking around the Susan Wagner hallways in his cool football jacket with the white leather sleeves. Mine did. I don't want to sound angry about an incident from 17 or 18 years ago, because I seldom if ever thought about him, until that e-card reminded me. But it does give me a weird sense of satisfaction. Sort of like Walt, at the end of Season 4, "I won."

This is not the first time I've been insensitive to someone who committed suicide. Read the comments attached to this post to find out what a jerk I am.

Song of the Week

"End of the Road" - Boyz II Men
20 years ago this song was #1. Amazing.

Lead By Example

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator,
and I wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you feed a stray cat,
and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you make my favorite cake for me,
and I knew that little things are special.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I felt you kiss me goodnight,
and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw tears come from your eyes,
and I learned it's alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw that you cared,
and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I was and I saw.
Thank you for all the things you did,
when you thought I wasn't looking.

-Author Unknown

The Best Show Ever

"Breaking Bad" is the best show in the history of television. And the finale of Season 4 is the best hour of TV I've ever seen. If you have never watched the show, I'm going to make one more plea to get you to do so before Season 5 starts this week on July 15.
Everybody loved "The Sopranos" right? It was a great show. It was about a mobster, but it was about so much more than that, it was about his family, his personal relationships and how he grows and changes. But it also had great action, violence and conflict.
Breaking Bad has all of that (though not as much humor or sex) and much, much more. But Breaking Bad is written so well. It has incredible subtlety. The action (and there is plenty of action, the show never gets boring) is driven by tiny plot twists which explode into huge revelations.

I have never met anyone who watched the show and didn't love it.
So if I've finally convinced you to watch and find out how Walt went from feckless dweeb to badass, stop reading now.
If you've been watching all this time (Billy and Damino are the only Poopheads I know of) then keep reading.
If you still aren't going to watch, then you're a moron.




Here is why I love this show so much: it combines the visceral action and violence that so many people like with the subtle twists, plot advancements and character development that make it such a great show to think about and talk about afterwards.

The season 4 finale was a perfect example. It had the explosive action scene, with the drama building beautifully through Hector's pained facial expressions. And the money shot with Gus's new face.



But it also had the beautiful reveal at the very end. The lilies whose berries had been used to poison Brock were growing in Walt's backyard.



That one little shot of the flowerpot changed the entire trajectory of the final season.

And there have been so many moments like that, brief moments, innocent comments, that completely changed the show.

For instance, Walt not wanting Hank to give the credit to Gail, casually commenting that he couldn't be the mastermind. That simple comment forced Hank to redouble his efforts, driving all the action last season. The search, Gus's effort to kill Walt, Walt's eventual plan to kill Gus. It was all set in motion because Walt wouldn't allow Hank to think Gail was responsible for the meth craze sweeping the Southwestern United States.

It's a far cry from the feckless dweeb who was washing cars in episode 1, embarrassed and belittled when his own students drove fancier cars than he did.

And that, to me, is the coolest thing about this whole show. It's how Walt's character has grown and developed. He may have started as a loser but the time when he stood up to the guys who were making fun of Walt Jr. something changed inside him.

I can't wait to see where they go with season 5 but I'm mostly happy they're going to end it now, one or two seasons too early, better than a season too late. Or four seasons too late in the case of Lost.
I can't wait to see what they do as a resolution. Will Walt immediately try to be the drug kingpin of the southwest, filling Gus's void? I don't think so immediately, but maybe eventually.
Will Jesse find out Walt poisoned the boy? Seems like this conflict will arise at some point, but not right away.
Will Hank apprehend Walt? This is how I think series will come to its end, with Hank closing in. Either he catches Walt or kills Walt, or Walt kills him, something like that is what I expect.
But here is what I would like to see: Walt tries to stop cooking, it's getting too dangerous. But Jesse is pressuring him and Skyler wants more money and he's getting bored and missing the excitement and danger of his old life. So he starts cooking again, and selling the meth, and the money is rolling and his cancer comes back. 3 months to live...

Song of the Week

"Eye of the Tiger" - Survivor
I can't believe it's been 30 years since this song came out. It might seem like an obvious choice for 1982 but that's why I like it. This song takes you back to that time.