Weekly Picks

A decent week but three points is just treading water, I need to string together a few big weeks in a row.

KANSAS CITY +8 dallas
I haven't picked a home underdog at all this year and I think this spread gives us a chance to lose by a touchdown and still cover.

pittsburgh -10.5 DETROIT
The Lions have been putting up points and the Steelers have been giving them up in bunches, but something tells me the Steelers defense will toughen up this week, especially late with a big lead.

atlanta +2.5 SAN FRANCISCO
I've underestimated the 49ers a few times this year but I just don't trust Shaun Hill.

new england -3.5 DENVER
I said Denver would have a disastrous year and I was dead wrong. But that doesn't mean they are going to win every game and give up the fewest points ever. The Patriots have bounced back from their loss to the Jets and got a big win last week against the Ravens (thanks to some bad officiating and a drop by Mark Clayton) but I think they can go on the road and knock Denver down a peg. And if they should lose, I guarantee Belichick won't be shaking McDaniels's hand after the game.

BEST BET
indianapolis -3.5 TENNESSEE
Am I reading this right? The Colts are only giving up 3 and a half points to the Titans? Usually when a line seems like a typo I get scared and stay away from it. Not this time. This seems too juicy. You've got the Colts, maybe the best team in the NFL, led by Peyton Manning playing some of the best football of his career. Then you have the Titans who are giving up points by the bucketload and don't look anything like the team they were last year, or the team oddsmakers seem to think they are. I'd be shocked if the Colts didn't cover.

Last week: 2-3 (3 points)
Season: 10-10 (10 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (2-2)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (3-1)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (4-4)
Road Underdogs: 0-2 (3-5)

There are Two Kinds of People in This Country

Americans are waking up this morning to learn President Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. The President was awarded the prize because of his "extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples."

Because the nation is very polarized right now I'm betting most people fall roughly in line with one of the following schools of thought.

"I'm glad the President was recognized for his efforts to restore America's image in the world."

Or

"He got the Nobel Peace Prize for going around the world and apologizing for everything America's ever done."




Because I try not to post too many things about politics on this blog, for months I never completed a post I started about President Obama. It was titled "Let's Not Start Sucking the President's Dick Quite Yet."
That's a bastardization of The Wolf's famous line from "Pulp Fiction" but it just means "maybe we're getting a little ahead of ourselves."
At the time I was inspired by an article suggesting in 50 years schoolchildren would be learning about Presidents Washington, Lincoln and Obama.
I'm sure no matter how you answered the above question you probably would agree that pronouncement and the Nobel Peace Prize may be a little premature.
Because The Wolf knew Vincent Vega and Jules Winnfield (and I guess President Obama too) did a great job cleaning up a mess, but congratulations don't come until we see results.

World peace is a results business.

Best Captcha Ever

If you've ever posted a comment on this blog (and many of you haven't --- no matter how many times I beg) you might notice it requires you to type in what is called a "captcha."
It's basically a random sequence of letters but every so often it can be a real word -- or in this case, the name of someone special.

That Would Get Me To Go To the Game

Troy University, in an effort to increase student attendance at its Tuesday night national TV game on ESPN used an interesting promotional campaign.

"Bear Woods is going to punch every student in the face who doesn't show up at the game," quarterback Levi Brown said.

Ok, so that's not an official school campaign, but it would still scare me enough.

Baseball Playoff Predictions

Division Series:
Twins over Yankees in 4
Red Sox over Angels in 5

Phillies over Rockies in 4
Cardinals over Dodgers in 3

League Championship Series:
Red Sox over Twins in 5
Cardinals over Phillies in 7

World Series:
Cardinals over Red Sox in 6

Post your picks in the comments section

I Hate Sports Cliches

One of the worst parts of being a sports fan in this day and age is having to listen to and read hundreds of writers and formers players spouting the same hackneyed cliches.

After that classic 1-game playoff between the Twins and the Tigers, everyone and their mother is saying the real winner of this game is the Yankees.

It's true the Twins are facing a difficult travel schedule and they won't be able to set their pitching rotation. And it's also true they will probably lose to the Yankees.

But if they do it will be because the Yankees are a better team.

If they don't, expect the same idiot analysts to say the Twins were the "hot" team and came in with all the "momentum" and having to wait two days actually hurt the Yankees.

Song of the Week

"La La La" - LMFAO
Featuring Jonna from "The Real World: Cancun"

Why is Master Bates Smiling?

Sports Illustrated's Jon Heyman reports the Mets will hire Wally Backman.

"The team now appears willing to give scrappy fan favorite Wally Backman a chance to return to baseball in a minor-league job. Backman has technically not been given a new position yet, but he's been told they'd like to hire him and have invited him for an interview that is expected to be a formality.

The Mets apparently will resist any temptation to immediately add Backman to the major-league staff.

The Mets fired a few minor-league coaches recently and have openings to fill there as well."



But that's not all the good news for MB.

The Marlins have had conversations with Bobby Valentine about a possible position within the organization.
Current manager Fredi Gonzalez is expected to be fired.

Weekly Picks

Another good week until the Steelers choked away my perfect 6. Unfortunately losing 2 of 3 best bets makes my score look worse than it should be. I think I have a surefire best bet this week though.

baltimore +2 NEW ENGLAND
Something about this spread strikes me as off, which normally worries me. I know the Patriots somewhat shook off two bad weeks with a big win over the Falcons, but the Ravens have looked like the best team in the NFL so far. And they're getting points.

CHICAGO -10 detroit
I know the Lions won last week and they are on a roll. I know the Bears have gotten pretty lucky and could easily be 0-3. I know the spread is pretty big. But I still like Jay Cutler and I think the Lions chances of winning two in a row after a 19-game losing streak are pretty slim. And if I don't think the underdog can win, I will usually pick the favorite.

new york jets +7 NEW ORLEANS
I was looking at this game and couldn't quite decide who I thought was going to win. Sure the Saints look awesome, but I think the Jets look pretty good too. The Saints pretty clearly have the best offense in the NFL. But the Jets have a formidable defense, and good defense beats good offense. No, Mark Sanchez won't be able to keep up with Drew Brees but he won't have to. Getting a touchdown, I have to take the Jets.

cincinnati -6 CLEVELAND
Since they got their heart ripped out in week 1 the Bengals have rebounded nicely. The Browns are horrible and could be getting worse thanks to their horrible control freak coach whom they all hate.

BEST BET
new york giants -8 1/2 KANSAS CITY
I'm shocked this game is not a double digit spread. I see this game being a very similar game to the one the Giants played last week. A dominating performance on both sides of the ball.


Last week: 4-1 (3 points)
Season: 8-7 (7 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (1-2)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (2-1)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Favorites: 3-1 (3-3)
Road Underdogs: 3-0 (3-3)

Turn-Ons: Walks in the Woods, Musicians (especially Saxophonists) and Sledgehammers

The first thing everyone says when they see the Infinity 2008 video is "who is that girl?"
She's a German model named Janina Wissler, and yes, she is smoking hot.
In fact, I think I could just post pictures of her face and everyone would say she's one of the hottest girls ever.
But that wouldn't be any fun.

Chase is a Model Student

For most kids the first days of preschool can be rough, not knowing if your parents are ever coming back.
But for Chase, he has adjusted to preschool with no problem, even though he'd basically spent the first two years of his life with me or Mrs. Poop constantly around.
Every time we go pick him up (best part of my crazy work schedule is being around at 11am to pick him up) the teachers offer other parents detailed explanations of their children's behavior: "he started to cry at 10:30 because he missed mommy."
But for Chase, all we get is "he was fine."
When I pressed the teacher for more information she basically said he never cries, never does anything wrong and he loves marching.

What Do You Give Me For? Stedman Graham and Eric Holder

What do you give me for Attorney General Eric Holder and Oprah's beard Stedman Graham?

Song of the Week

"The Times They are A-Changin" - Bob Dylan
For a song written 45 years it pretty well describes what's going on in the country right now.
In fact, the same song could be written today, about today, but with a much different music video.

"Come Senators, Congressman
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
For the battle outside ragin
Will soon shake your windows and rattle your walls
The times they are a-changin"

Where Were the Sign Police On This One?

After recent events you knew horny college kids would get creative with their signs on College Gameday. Even though ESPN does have a sign police, this type of thing is impossible to stop.



"Hey Erin, I eat pussy...well."
Kind of crude if you ask me. I still prefer the classic and clever Lee Corso sign.

Story suggested by Master Bates

Weekly Picks

A nice bounceback week thanks to some small underdogs that should have been favorites. Now I need another 5 or 6 points this week to erase the horror of Week 1. There are a lot of games I like which is usually a bad sign.

NEW YORK JETS -2 1/2 tennessee
Coming into the season there were probably higher expectations for the Titans than for the Jets. But it's possible last season the Titans overachieved thanks to Kerry Collins and turnovers. Two things that might not have carried over to this year. So I am going with my old theory, "Believe what you see, not what you believe."

green bay -6 1/2 ST. LOUIS
Here's a game I like. The Packers are better than they showed last week, I don't think they will lose to two bad teams in a row. I don't think the Rams are all that good either but they did almost win last week.

chicago -2 SEATTLE
I like the Bears, what can I say? They got a huge win against Pittsburgh and I think Cutler got his worst behind him with that horror show in week 1. I'm not impressed with the Seahawks at all, and think the Bears defense can shut them down.

denver -1 1/2 OAKLAND
I'm changing my mind on Denver really quickly this season. But I think JaMarcus Russell fuckin sucks. Although it is dangerous to see a guy play so poorly, then expect him to do the very same the following week.

BEST BET
pittsburgh -3 1/2 CINCINNATI
The Steelers are not losing two games in a row this early in the season. The fact that the spread is 3 1/2 scares me a little because so many games end up 3 point differences. But I trust the Steelers to totally clamp down on defense and win this game big.

Last week: 4-1 (5 points)
Season: 4-6 (4 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (1-1)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (1-1)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (0-2)
Road Underdogs: 3-0 (3-3)

A Fitting Yom Kippur Story

Proud of his religion and worried about its future, Chicago dentist Max Feinberg wrote a will with an unusual catch: His grandchildren wouldn't inherit a penny if they married someone who wasn't Jewish.

His decision led to family feuds, lawsuits, counterclaims and, on Thursday, a unanimous ruling by the Illinois Supreme Court that Feinberg and his wife were within their rights to disinherit any grandchildren who married outside the faith.

"Equal protection does not require that all children be treated equally ... and the free exercise clause does not require a grandparent to treat grandchildren who reject his religious beliefs and customs in the same manner as he treats those who conform to his traditions," Justice Rita Garman wrote in a ruling that overturned decisions by two lower courts.

One disinherited granddaughter had argued it was improper for a will to set up conditions that promote religious intolerance in people's marriage decisions or even encouraged couples to divorce.

"It is at war with society's interest in eliminating bigotry and prejudice, and conflicts with modern moral standards of religious tolerance," said Michele Feinberg Trull's brief to the Supreme Court.

The court's ruling was based partly on technicalities in the way this estate was arranged. The court did not provide a broad ruling on whether similar religious restrictions would be valid under other circumstances.

The dispute has its roots in 1986, when Feinberg died.

He put his money into trusts for his family, but his will declared that any grandchild marrying someone who wasn't Jewish, or who didn't convert to Judaism, "shall be deemed to be deceased" and would inherit nothing.

Feinberg's will gave control of the trusts to his wife, Erla. When she died and the grandchildren were to inherit $250,000 each, she followed her husband's wishes and imposed the same restrictions.

By that time, four of the five grandchildren had married gentiles.

Erla Feinberg's death triggered a series of disputes. Trull accused her father and aunt, the Feinbergs' children, of mishandling the family money. In return, they tried to get the lawsuit dismissed on the grounds that the daughter was "dead" for purposes of inheritance and had no standing to sue.

So the courts had to decide whether it's acceptable for a will to base inheritance on someone's marriage and religion.

Feinberg's son, Michael, argues there's nothing wrong with it.

Michael, who stands to inherit more money if his children are cut out, argued in court documents that the will simply rewards the grandchildren who help preserve the "heritage and faith" his father loved.

His position won the support of several Jewish organizations, including Agudath Israel of America, a national Orthodox group.

David Zwiebel, executive vice president of Agudath Israel, said he didn't know of any other court rulings that directly address whether a will can tie inheritance to religious choices. Such restrictions aren't unusual, he said, because some people want to discourage intermarriage that is contributing to the declining number of Jews in America.

"There is a strong sense within certain segments of the Jewish community that in order to preserve the religious identity, it's important to promote marriage within the faith," Zwiebel said.

Michael Feinberg, who is the co-executor of his parent's estate, was pleased by the ruling but had no other comment, his attorney said. Trull's attorney said she was disappointed but looking forward to court action on her other legal claims.

The two sides of the family can't even agree on what to call the part of the will causing all the trouble. The granddaughter calls it "the Jewish clause." Her parents have adopted the phrase "religious preference clause."

The state Supreme Court based much of its decision on the fact that Erla Feinberg's will awarded set amounts of money based on the marriage status of the grandchildren at the time of her 2003 death -- either they qualified for the money or they didn't. The court said that meant the will didn't try to control what the grandchildren would do in the future and didn't offer any incentive for a particular couple to divorce.

A will that provided money year after year if the heir did not marry a gentile might not pass muster, the court suggested. That's because it would amount to a dead man trying to control actions for years to come and would encourage divorces so that people could claim an inheritance.

I honestly don't see what the legal dispute is here. To my knowledge, there isn't nor should there be a law restricting to whom and for what reason heirs are chosen.
This reminds me of how people often confuse the free speech debate. Free speech and equal protection are granted by the government. If this old coot wants to treat his grandchildren unequally, that should be his right.
You know how many root canals this poor schmoe had to do to earn this money.
He doesn't want some schicza with a cute nose marrying his grandson and using his hard-earned money to buy Christmas presents.
I can't believe the case even came this far.

Should TON Do Some Work?

I hate change.
But there comes a time when it becomes necessary to improve.
For instance, the blue and orange background you see now has been my layout since I started this blog nearly four years ago.
But as things change (this blog predates youtube), this layout may have outlived its usefulness.
Is it time for TON to choose a new layout that doesn't cut off widescreen youtube vidoes?

Paulo's Book Club: "Fooled by Randomness"

A funny thing about life, two people can look at the same thing, and see it completely differently. And that's why I didn't like "Fooled by Randomness" by Nassem Nicholas Taleb.

The book explores the "Hidden Role of Chance in Life and the Markets," something I often think about.

But here's the difference, I look at the strange things that happen and see the Universe, Taleb sees randomness.



The book is interesting because Taleb provides a great many thought experiments to prove his points but his thinking a little rigid, and he overuses ancient philosophers.

One of Taleb's main point is about the "black swan." He theorizes, correctly, that seeing a million white swans, doesn't prove that all swans are white, but seeing only one black swan, disproves that theory.

The Black Swan (another of Taleb's books) is the name for an unexpected event. He used the black swan theory to say that basically none of the traders on Wall Street have any idea what they are doing. They just do what everyone else is doing, and through pure luck, avoid the black swan. But when the black swan comes, the explode, and explode spectactularly, a theory that seems to fit and even the foretell the current economic crisis.

Although I disagree with Taleb's cynicism, many of you who think my Universe talk is crazy might enjoy his take. Hell, he may even be right. But my way is much more fun.

How Does Tim Tebow Resist This Temptation?

Under normal circumstances it would be good to be Tim Tebow. The guy is not only a ladies' man, but he's also a man's man. He's tough as nails, has two national titles and a Heisman Trophy and one of the greatest speeches of all time.

Only problem is, this guy claims to be a virgin. He comes from an ultra-conservative Christian family, and says yes in fact he is a virgin.
I can't believe a college kid could resist when girls who look like this are wearing t-shirts that say "fuck me, Tim Tebow."



I mean, could he really walk away from a girl with tits like these without fucking her? I don't think so.

You Know What's Coming

"Three separate missions examining the moon have found clear evidence of water there, apparently concentrated at the poles and possibly formed by the solar wind."

But did they find any water on Uranus?