Jennie Finch is Biting My Style

Jennie Finch, the lovely softballer player, and her husband, minor league pitcher Casey Daigle welcomed a new baby into the world on June 19th.
Their first child is named Ace, fitting for two pitchers.



The new child, Diesel. Diesel Dean Daigle. And the little kid is pretty cute. Let's just hope he doesn't grow up to scream his head off every time a squirrel goes by.

Story suggested by BC

You Never Forget Your First Time

The first movie I ever saw in the theater was "E.T." I don't remember anything about the movie except that I fell asleep.
My second (presumably) movie in the theater was two years later. I saw "The Natural." I loved it, it's my favorite movie ever. I even remember specifics about the movie-going experience including the guy who said "I've seen Kingman hit some shots, but nothing like that."

My first baseball game was also in 1982. Mike Scott pitched, the Mets won. But I don't really remember it.
A couple years later I would have vivid recollections of games. I even remember having tickets in the middle of August, presumably around Mama Poop's birthday and being worried the 1985 players strike would like to the cancellation of the game.

Note: the strike only wiped out two games (they were rescheduled). I even remember Papa Poop remarking that we didn't miss anything because both of the postponed games would have been on Sportschannel which we didn't have at the time.

With Chase, while we had the opportunity (as opposed to my parents who had me third and had no choice but to drag me along to these things) I wanted to hold off these special experiences as long as possible, so he would remember them forever.

We have somehow convinced him that you have to be 5 to go to a baseball game. And I do intend to take him on his 5th birthday (or thereabouts) and get a picture of his face the first time he sees the green grass and all the seats at CitiField.

But as far as the movie thing goes, the dam has broken. Cars 2 is coming out on Friday, June 24th. And we are taking him on Sunday at noon. And leaving Julian with BC and LCC.

Chase has probably watched 100 movies in his life, Madagascar once, Evan Almighty once (he still grabs a stick and yells "get in the ark now") and Cars 98 times.

His favorite song is "Life is a Highway" by Rascal Flatts because it's in "Movie Cars" as Chase sometimes calls it.

Combine the fact that every character in "Cars" is a car, toy cars are so cheap ($5), we (and especially grandma) love to spoil him, the marketing geniuses at Disney are evil (we have a toy of Hank Haulsum who doesn't even have a speaking part in the first movie, he's just drinking motor oil at Flo's Cafe) and Chase is absolutely obsessed with the movie, we have so many toy cars our house looks like a miniature version of an athlete's garage on "Cribs."

We have 10 different Lightning McQueens ("why does Grandma always call him Steve?"), 6 different Cars that change color when you make them hot or cold, and 7 or 8 different Maters including a Dr. Mater and El Materdor.



Those last two come from "Mater's Tall Tales" which was a series of short films (4 to 6 minutes) they released during the 5 year break between movies. They were actually quite clever. Because they were only a few minutes long they got in a lot of funny jokes in a short time. One of our favorites was "Monster Truck Mater" where Mater and Lightning McQueen (Frightening McMean) become pro wrestlers and compete against the likes of I-Screamer (evil ice cream truck) and Patty O'Concrete (evil Irish cement mixer). We of course bought both of those villains. What else do you give a half-Irish boy on St. Patrick's Day if not Patty O'Concrete?

But the genius of the marketing people at Disney doesn't end with toys. The promotional tie-ins for this movie are incredible. Band-aids, Cheez-its (with a character imprinted on each cracker), macaroni and cheese (macaronis in the shape of Mater and McQueen), juice boxes, yogurt, tissues even a commercial for State Farm.



The plot of Cars 2 seems to revolve around McQueen going overseas to compete in the World Grand Prix (with stops in Italy, Japan and London). While in London, in addition to meeting The Queen and Prince Wheeliam, Mater gets mistaken for a spy.

I hope, for the sake of Mater's biggest fan, it is a movie experience he will never forget.

Song of the Week

"Hold Me (remix)" Brian McKnight featuring Kobe Bryant
Yes, that Kobe Bryant. This is a fantastic song and even Kobe's verse isn't bad.
If Billy and I shared one brain (I know, tough hypothetical to imagine) this would be one of our 5 favorite songs ever.

Chase's Underwhelming Reaction to Something I Thought Was Really Cool

I have met many celebrities in my career, most of them didn't even register with me as anything more than a smile and a good to meet you. There were a few I wanted to get a picture with (Uncle Mick Foley, Jonathan Duhamel and Jon Bones Jones).

But never have I been more insistent on meeting a celebrity, tried harder to do it, and had a more unusual request than when I recently met Larry the Cable Guy.

For those of you without children, please understand that LTCG (nee Daniel Whitney) is the voice of Mater in "Cars" and the forthcoming sequel "Cars 2."

Chase absolutely loves Mater and is so excited to see the new movie (I will elaborate in a future post) that I just had to get him to record a brief message on my blackberry.

I had all my minions following his every move throughout the building but my schedule and his just didn't work out and I thought I had missed him. As luck would have it I was walking right past where he was, so I waited around and much to the dismay of his PR person, I accosted him and he complied with my request.

He couldn't have been a nicer guy to everyone, not just me. And his message was pretty awesome, even though Chase didn't react with the amazement I expected.

From Shaggy to This

I was almost sure I had posted this video years ago, but apparently I never did.
It's a now famous clip of Casey Kasem freaking out.



So many great lines in this one:

"He was a little dog named Snuggles."

"Is Don on the phone?"

"What happened to the pictures I was supposed to see this week?"

"I gotta talk about a fuckin dog dying."

Sad to think the man who once lent his voice the loveable laid-back stoner Shaggy eventually turned into a ranting, raving lunatic.

Happy Birthday Poop

You constantly recognize everyone's birthday in this forum so I thought I owed you one. You may not be the easiest little brother on the planet, but I wouldn't trade you for too many others.

In recognition of Paul's 33 years on the planet, if every reader could post a favorite Poop birthday memory or some other funny story about him that would be great.

Happy Birthday baby bro.

And happy half birthday to my oldest daughter. She has amazed me every day for the past six and a half years and has taught me much more than I can ever teach her. Happy 1/2 Birthday munchkin face.

Happy Birthday Damino

A very happy birthday to Damino. Quite unusual to still know, 33 years later, another person who was born on the same day, in the same hospital.
Unfortunately we don't have any pictures of us together then, now or any time in between.

You Can't Say I Never Listened

The cemetery is a popular place. People are dying to get in there.

If Papa Poop taught me anything, that is it.

Happy Fathers' Day to mine and all the other dads out there.

This is Not a Joke

The other night while driving to work at 3:30 AM I was traveling in the center lane on Route 4. A car zips past me in the left lane. I was doing low 60s, I estimate this car was doing at least 80.
I saw it was a cop car and wondered where it was going that fast. And I then surmised if there had been a real emergency it would have had its lights on.
I was able to follow its tail lights, since no one else was on the road and saw it pull into its final destination: Dunkin Donuts.
What a cliche.

I Hope I Don't Jinx Myself

I can't hold it in any longer. For years I have been play Beat the Streak on mlb.com. The object is simple, pick one player everyday (no restrictions) and build a hitting streak. If your guy doesn't get a hit that day, your streak is over.

My longest streak prior to this year was 11 games. Right now I am riding a 15-game hitting streak.
I know I am still 41 games short of Joe DiMaggio but the prize for passing him and getting to 57 games is $5.6m.
And I am nearly halfway to this season's longest streak of 31 games.
So I know it's early, and I am not counting my chickens, I just thought it would be fun to share my streak, my selections and have you cheer along with me.

Tonight's selection is Prince Fielder because he is facing John Lackey who has a 7.41 ERA and a .297 batting average against.

This Had to Happen

If ever there were two things destined to be brought together by the Universe, they had to be Samuel L. Jackson and "Go the Fuck to Sleep."



Note: audible keeps taking down the videos

Jim Walsh Has Fallen on Hard Times

James Eckhouse apparently has been unable to find much work after his stint as Jim Walsh, Brandon and Brenda's father, on Beverly Hills, 90210 ended.
He's now slumming in a V8 commercial.

Funny or Douchey?

Karl Stefanovic, anchor of Australia's version of the Today Show, recently scored an interview with the Dalai Lama.
And this is what he did with it:



The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says "can you make me one with everything?"

Ok, I think we can all agree the result leans towards douchey, but just grade him on the attempt please. I thought it was quite a funny joke to tell the Dalai Lama.

The part about him not being fluent in English is what ruined it.

Song of the Week

"Pass Out" - Tinie Tempah
Not sure why I like this, but I kind of do.

Why I Do What I Do

I was recently asked an interesting question (and the answer was important because my boss was the one asking), why are you in this business?

I said "because I like telling stories."

And that's essentially what I like about my job.

And it's what I love about this blog.

Yes, there are a lot of posts I just throw together very quickly and don't put much thought into. I don't have an editor and I don't pore over sentences for typos (as many of you have pointed out). And in most cases I don't even proofread to make sure I am not committing the same grammatical infractions I make fun of people for in everyday life.

And that doesn't include the posts when I just google image a hot chick and slap up five bikini pictures.

But there are some posts that matter to me a little more. There's a story out there, a hot topic, and there's so many angles to it. And many of you don't have time -- and don't get paid -- to read all the various reports and sort fact from fiction.

It's those posts I take the most pride in. I want them to be thorough so you know every single essential detail. But I don't want them to be so long you get bored reading them.

For instance, the first post on Anthony Weiner (which got a huge number of comments which I always appreciate), the Lance Armstrong post (though I got a huge assist from Wikipedia), the Wilpon defense (this one was even harder because almost all of you who had enough interest to read my post also had enough interest to read the original article. So I had to explain, and offer unique insight) and finally, my personal favorite, the Dominique Strauss-Kahn if she ain't bitin ain't fightin post.

It's in those posts when I'm being entertaining, amusing and informative all at the same time that I am doing what I was put on this Earth to do: tell people stories.

Music to Pluck To

The laws of kashrut (keeping kosher) require animals to be treated humanely. So when the goyim dump their freshly killed chickens into boiling hot water, Jews don't do that because the animal can still feel it. The downside is, kosher chickens have many more feathers than non-kosher chickens. Because the scalding hot water helps the automatic pickers remove the feathers much easier.

The point of all this is, it's quite a painstaking process to clean a kosher chicken for cooking and eating. This is especially true of chicken wings. It's a near impossibility to get all the feathers off, but each time I typically spend half an hour plucking feathers and singing to myself.

Which is a better song to sing while plucking chicken wings?

"Pretty Wings" - Maxwell



"Take These Broken Wings" - Mr. Mister

Happy Birthday Mrs. Poop

In honor of the birthday of Mrs. Poop we celebrate two of her passions. Buying the boys the same shirt and taking pictures of them wearing them.

Note: Mrs. Poop did not buy all these matching outfits.

What Do You Give Me For? Bob Ojeda & Paul Reiser

What do you give me for Bobby Ojeda and Paul Reiser?
I know this pictures don't really do the comparison justice but they were the best I could find.
Before you vote watch the SNY Mets pregame show. Once you have a good idea of what Bobby O looks like, watch this video of the Paul Reiser Show. Do that and your vote will be much higher.

Song of the Week

"Yearning For Your Love" - The Gap Band
Uncle Charlie before he was Uncle Charlie.
This legendary quiet storm classic has been sampled many times, including by a past song of the week "Love Like This" by Natasha Beddingfield.

The Straw That Broke Weiner's Back

Lest you believe Congressman Anthony Weiner's big confession was caused by an attack of conscience, let me show you this:



That is a picture of a shirtless Anthony Weiner (though you can't see his face completely you can tell it's him, and confirm with a close examanation of the items behind him, including a picture of his wife) sent to a 26-year-old single mother in Texas, Megan Broussard.

In return Broussard sent him this:



And when Broussard decided for whatever reason she wanted to come out about her online relationship with Weiner she released other pictures to the press, including eventually ABC News. Here's one Weiner sent along with the caption "me and the pussys."



And that's what forced Weiner to finally come out and admit everything. He says he had online relationships with 6 women but never met them in person (I believe him, but after all these lies I couldn't blame someone who didn't). He says most of the relationships started before he was married, but not the one with Broussard.



On April 20th he posted a video of a speech on his Facebook page. She commented "hottttt" and he friended her on Facebook immediately. They started chatting and exchanging sexual messages. She didn't believe it was him so she asked him to write "me" on a piece of paper and take a picture with it.



So far we know of two women sexting with the Congressman. Maybe we'll hear from the other 4 maybe we won't. If we do, I hope they are hotter than these two so far.

But let me repeat this so I am clear. I really don't care what the hell he does on his free time. If he had come out and said right away that he was sending these pictures and having these conversations I would be defending him. I would say that's between him and his wife and nobody else. But it's the lying that always makes it 10 times worse. I don't care if he resigns or not. But I can understand the calls for his head, because of the lying.