Sunday, August 26, 2012

Chase's First Mets Game -- In Pictures

Outside with the old apple.

The 1986 Mets World Series trophy.

Jackie Robinson Rotunda

Chase was obsessed with the planes flying overhead. Everytime one flew by, he hit me and said "Dad, look there's a plane, it's kind of insane, it's giving me a pain." I got tired of it by the first inning. He gave up by the 5th.

He loved the grounds crew and decided he'd rather to grow up to be one of them, than to be one of the players. Except he wants to go to Arizona and work at Chase Field.

A hot dog at the game beats roast beef at the Ritz.

Name on the scoreboard.

Mets win, Mets win!

A winning smile.

Mr. Met's dash, high-fiving Mr. Met at second base.

Stepping on home plate.

Friday, August 24, 2012

From Champ to Chump

For years my go-to argument about why MMA is better than boxing is because one central body makes the fights, always pitting the champion against the best contender. Until now. Light heavyweight champion Jon “Bones” Jones refused to fight Chael Sonnen after his scheduled opponent, Dan Henderson hurt his knee and pulled out of their title fight at UFC 151. As a result, UFC had to cancel the entire event, the first time in 11 years that has happened.
Dana White and UFC fans are furious at Jon Jones over this. Jones, on the advice of his trainer Greg Jackson, declined to fight Sonnen with little more than a week’s notice. Even though Sonnen normally fights at 185 lbs instead of 205, and wasn’t even in training for a fight.
I understand why Jones wants to protect himself from a loss against an opponent he is not ready for. But this happens quite often, fighters get hurt weeks or days before the fight, and the code of honor in the UFC dictates that you just take on the next challenger, especially since he’s usually someone less threatening than the original opponent.
But I think this is an instance where the UFC has become a victim of its own success. Because there is so much more at stake financially with being a top fighter, and especially a champion, those fighters are less willing to take risks. This is one example, Jones not willing to risk his title. We have recently seen a big increase in the number of fighters pulling out of fights due to injury. Dan Henderson probably could have fought with this injury but wouldn’t be able to perform at his absolute best. And he didn’t want to take that chance in such a crucial fight. I believe other fighters who recently pulled out of fights for injuries, may have ignored those same injuries 5 or 10 years ago.
I also think this is manifesting itself in individual fights. I have detected a big increase in the number of decisions, and boring fights. Fighters seem a lot less willing to “stand and bang,” knowing a loss, especially one by knockout would hurt their careers.
But I don’t think Jon Bones Jones realizes the damage he has done to his reputation. Just a year ago he was a great young fighter, the rising star of the UFC with strong mainstream possibilities. First, he got drunk and wrapped his Bentley around a pole which hurt him with the mainstream audience. And now he did this which has totally turned off serious MMA fans.
I still think he will have a long and successful MMA career, he just has too much talent for it not to happen. But he will never again be a fan favorite. He will be the Floyd Mayweather of MMA.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

I Think Jim Joyce is Square with the Universe Now

Umpire Jim Joyce is best known for royally fucking Armando Galarraga's "perfect game" but now he’s done something to more than make up for that mistake.
When Joyce arrived at Chase Field to umpire a game between the Diamondbacks and Marlins he saw a stadium food service worker having an apparent heart attack. Joyce quickly jumped into action, performing CPR and trying to revive her with the defibrillator.
Paramedics arrived on the scene had to revive her again. But they did and the woman is going to be ok.
Joyce worked home plate that night because it was his turn, even though his fellow umpires wanted him to take it easy at third base. He said he'd rather stay busy behind home plate rather than move to third and think about the incident for the entire game. I suppose his blown call, which he handled with extreme grace, has been nagging at him for two years. Now he has something else to think about it.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Song of the Week

"Tonight (Best You Ever Had") - John Legend featuring Ludacris

The rare R&B song I played for Mrs. Poop that she actually liked.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Why I Believe What I Believe

Most of you know me as a pretty logical guy, too smart to believe in nonsensical things such as horrorscopes, ghosts, psychics and anything else people can conjure up.
But there are some things I do believe in.
First of all, I believe in me. I believe what happens to me is up to me, because of what I do.
I also believe in luck, but I also believe that luck favors the prepared.
And through a life spent marveling at things that happen for no explicable reason, I've developed a healthy admiration for the force that put Mark Feinsand on the same plane as Master Bates two days after I e-mailed MB to ask him to reach out to Feinsand. And then got him to stumble upon my blog, after MB challenged this mysterious force to prove its existence. I call that mystical force "The Universe."
I first started to believe in the Universe after the lowest moment in my life. I've written about most of this before but never in this way, so bear with me.
After Mrs. Poop had a miscarriage we weren't sure how long it would be before they let us try again. When we were given the go-ahead we were ecstatic that she got knocked up again so quickly. But then disaster struck. We went for what was supposed to be a routine ultrasound and just like the first time, there was no heartbeat and they couldn't find the baby.
After two of the hardest days ever, we had an appointment on a Friday morning for an ultrasound to confirm the miscarriage. Then on Thursday, Mrs. Poop was scapegoated at work for a problem that had nothing to do with her. They threatened to reassign her to another area of the hospital (it never happened, so don't worry), and then a few hours later we were scheduled to get final confirmation of another miscarriage.
You probably can't even imagine how she felt, losing her second baby, and her job over the span of a couple of days.
But a funny thing happened on the way to rock bottom.
We heard a heartbeat. The baby we now know as Chase was there the whole time, just chilling in Mrs. Poop's uterus, his heart beating, a sound so wonderful, it brought tears to my eyes.
Later that day the universe sent Mrs. Poop an e-mail (using me as its conduit) which said "Sorry about your job. But you can have your baby back. Love, The Universe."
I know that we are all very lucky in the way things turned out because I wouldn't trade Chase for any child in the world. And I will gladly worship whatever mysterious force brought him to us.

Friday, August 17, 2012

I'm a Douche

Coach John Wooden always warned me, "be quick but don't hurry." When I rush I make mistakes. Eager to get on the road home from Toronto, I was loading the car, dropped the keys into the back and pressed the door close button. I really thought that once you pressed the remote to open a door, you also unlocked it, but that is true only for all the other doors, not the back. Thankfully, when I ran back into the hotel I saw my aunt who gave me her CAA (AAA only with a C) card. I called, the guy was there within 30 minutes. He put what looked like a blood pressure cuff into the door slot. He squeezed the pump, it inflated the cloth part, giving him enough room to insert a long stick with a hook on the end to push the lock open. It was that easy. So the locking of the car keys only cost us about an hour, and some headaches, but I'm still a douche.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

What Do You Give Me For? John Goodman and Nadzeya Ostapchuk

Nadzeya Ostapchuk was stripped for her gold medal for failing a drug test. Maybe her striking resemblance to John Goodman should have been a tipoff.





Story suggested by JLeary

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Song of the Week

"Forever and Ever Amen" - Randy Travis

I've had this song in my head ever since I saw Randy Travis's mugshot.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

I Found the Hottest Olympian

After watching 17 days of coverage (including scouting for talent during the Opening Ceremonies) I believe I have found the hottest female Olympian. And I feel I kind of it to myself and the male Poopheads after yesterday's poll.

Her name is Jaqueline Carvalho but she goes by Jaque. She plays for the Brazilian women's volleyball team. And she is actually married to Murilo from the men's team. The announcers were gushing over what an attractive couple they make.









Monday, August 13, 2012

Man or Lady?

I am now about to introduce you to a game the Poop family has been playing for years. You pull up to Customs at the U.S./Canada border and before you can see you poll the car, "man or lady?" You have to guess which gender the agent will be. Let's do the same thing with the shot putter from Belarus. Nadzeya Ostapchuk stripped of the gold medal after failing a doping test.

Thursday, August 09, 2012

The Post You've All Been Waiting For

Diesel in Maine in 2007:

Diesel in Maine in 2007

Diesel in Maine in 2008:

Diesel in Maine in 2008
Diesel in Maine in 2009:


Diesel in Maine in 2010:


Diesel in Maine in 2011:
Diesel in Maine in 2011
Diesel in Maine in 2012

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

The Worst Thing to Happen in Badminton Since the Naming of the Shuttlecock

A major scandal erupting in badminton when several teams were disqualified for blatantly throwing matches.



Pretty funny to see it acted out this flagrantly. I can't say I blame the competitors. They were just trying to get what they felt was a better draw for themselves in the medal round. And the Chinese team was possibly trying to avoid the other Chinese team in hopes of setting up a gold medal match against them.

The pool play idea (round robin) has merit because it allows competitors to play more than once, eliminating the luck factor. It’s better than a single elimination, but it’s not perfect. I can understand why some teams would want to throw a match if it meant a more favorable matchup in the elimination rounds. And I’m not really sure how to arrange a system where that will never happen. So I guess this situation was handled correctly. Disqualify blatant match fixers and hope it serves as a threat to deter others who may want to try the same thing.

But in all the dramatic angst about this story I haven’t heard one beneficial suggestion on how to improve the system for the future.

Note: NBC took down the video and I can't find a suitable replacement.

Song of the Week

"Passionate Kisses" - Mary Chapin Carpenter
"Is it too much to demand
I want a full house and a rock and roll band
Pens that won't run out of ink
And cool quiet and time to think
Shouldn't I have this
Shouldn't I have this
Shouldn't I have all of this, and
Passionate kisses"

I hate it when my pen runs out of ink.

Friday, August 03, 2012

3000 Words

Cool picture I took while driving up the West Side Highway into a coming, and evidently a passing, storm.



A kayaker on Cape Cod paddles just feet in front of a shark.



Pretty impressive but I question the practicality of making a beer pong table out of sand.

Thursday, August 02, 2012

I'm Gonna Get One for the Car and Two for the Bathrooms

Disney is now selling air fresheners that will remind you of its theme parks. There's the scent of Mickey's waffle, the candy apple, the Mickey Mouse premium ice cream bar, and even the turkey legs.

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Song of the Week

"Head to Toe" - Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam
Worked with a girl named Lisa a couple weeks ago and this song has been in my head ever since. A true 80s classic. It's a real shame that Paula Abdul has had a long and successful career and Lisa Lisa hasn't.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Saturday, July 28, 2012

She Can Handle a Flagpole

After Paul McCartney's mumbling and perhaps drunken rendition of "Hey Jude" the most talked about event at the Opening Ceremonies was the Norwegian team's entrance. Because they were led by flag bearer Mira Veras (Veraas) Larsen. She is a sprint canoeist, and she is married to one of Norway's other great canoeists. And they left their wedding in a canoe, instead of a car with beer cans tied to it.









Friday, July 27, 2012

Hot Racist Kicked Off Olympic Team

Greek triple jumper Voula Papachristou was kicked off the Olympic team for this racist tweet:

"With so many Africans in Greece, the West Nile mosquitoes will be getting homemade food!!!"

It's a shame about her being a miserable racist because she is really freakin hot.





Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Song of the Week

"Full Moon" - Brandy
I was a little puzzled about what to do with 2002, but then I remembered how much I liked this song.


Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Red-Shirting

I have known for quite a while that CBS News was a hopelessly biased news organization. But I hoped in non-political coverage it would be a little more fair. I was wrong.



This casts parents who red-shirt as even villains who are trying to push their children into success in sports at the expense of other kids.

In our school district the cutoff date is October 1. So our August babies will always be among the youngest in their class.

We briefly talked about red-shirting Chase when we sent him to preschool a couple weeks after his second birthday, while some kids were just a couple months short of turning 3. Chase has done well in preschool and his teachers saw no need to keep him back. So he'll go to kindergarten in the fall as scheduled.

We were also contemplating it with Julian, who seemed in greater need of maturity, but lately he has had an explosion of language, and coupled with his enormous size, red-shirting likely won't be necessary in his case either.

But what if we felt it was? That should be a parents decision. I resent the implication that red-shirting is cheating, or somehow harming the other kids. And even if it were, why should what's marginally better for some other child supersede what you feel is much better for your own?

I also resent the implication that this is just for fathers who want their sons to be sports stars. What's so wrong with wanting your child not to be one of the smallest kids, to avoid bullying? Or for him to at least be good enough at sports to build his confidence, to make him be the first kid picked not the last, to make him feel an important part of the group instead of a benchwarmer. I think all parents want those things for their kids. Regardless of what that old fossil Morley Safer thinks.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Am I Supposed to Be Sad About This?




When I saw this e-card I immediately thought of one person: Jared G. He was exactly the person described here. He played football, he was nominally cool, girls thought he was cute and he thought he was hot shit. One time, on the bus back from a trip to Quebec, I was trying to sleep and he was fucking with me. Putting his hands in my face, grazing my nose, so I jumped up, slapped his hands away and told him to cut the shit. He punched me in the face and broke my glasses. While we never had another incident and I seldom was around him, I always felt like he thought he was better than me because he had gotten the best of me that day, and because he was cooler in high school.

Last week Jared G. killed himself. He shot himself in his car in the Village Greens Shopping Center in Arden Heights. He was married with a young child. After college at CSI, Jared opened up a beer distributor on Manor Rd (or bought the existing one) with at least one of his other high school football buddies who also lacked skills translatable to a job in the real world. Evidently that venture failed because in the article about his death the Advance says he was driving a cement truck.



They say living well is the best revenge so I guess it would be hard to deny I got revenge on Jared. Me working where I work and him driving a cement truck is the real world equivalent of me being on the football team and him running track.

I wouldn't say I am happy he's dead, nor that I smiled when I heard that he died, but I don't feel any sadness for him either. I am sad that his young child has to grow up without a father, but other than that nothing. Obviously his life didn't turn out the way he hoped when he was walking around the Susan Wagner hallways in his cool football jacket with the white leather sleeves. Mine did. I don't want to sound angry about an incident from 17 or 18 years ago, because I seldom if ever thought about him, until that e-card reminded me. But it does give me a weird sense of satisfaction. Sort of like Walt, at the end of Season 4, "I won."

This is not the first time I've been insensitive to someone who committed suicide. Read the comments attached to this post to find out what a jerk I am.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Song of the Week

"End of the Road" - Boyz II Men
20 years ago this song was #1. Amazing.


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Lead By Example

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator,
and I wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you feed a stray cat,
and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw you make my favorite cake for me,
and I knew that little things are special.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I felt you kiss me goodnight,
and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw tears come from your eyes,
and I learned it's alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw that you cared,
and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I was and I saw.
Thank you for all the things you did,
when you thought I wasn't looking.

-Author Unknown

Friday, July 13, 2012

The Best Show Ever

"Breaking Bad" is the best show in the history of television. And the finale of Season 4 is the best hour of TV I've ever seen. If you have never watched the show, I'm going to make one more plea to get you to do so before Season 5 starts this week on July 15.
Everybody loved "The Sopranos" right? It was a great show. It was about a mobster, but it was about so much more than that, it was about his family, his personal relationships and how he grows and changes. But it also had great action, violence and conflict.
Breaking Bad has all of that (though not as much humor or sex) and much, much more. But Breaking Bad is written so well. It has incredible subtlety. The action (and there is plenty of action, the show never gets boring) is driven by tiny plot twists which explode into huge revelations.

I have never met anyone who watched the show and didn't love it.
So if I've finally convinced you to watch and find out how Walt went from feckless dweeb to badass, stop reading now.
If you've been watching all this time (Billy and Damino are the only Poopheads I know of) then keep reading.
If you still aren't going to watch, then you're a moron.




Here is why I love this show so much: it combines the visceral action and violence that so many people like with the subtle twists, plot advancements and character development that make it such a great show to think about and talk about afterwards.

The season 4 finale was a perfect example. It had the explosive action scene, with the drama building beautifully through Hector's pained facial expressions. And the money shot with Gus's new face.



But it also had the beautiful reveal at the very end. The lilies whose berries had been used to poison Brock were growing in Walt's backyard.



That one little shot of the flowerpot changed the entire trajectory of the final season.

And there have been so many moments like that, brief moments, innocent comments, that completely changed the show.

For instance, Walt not wanting Hank to give the credit to Gail, casually commenting that he couldn't be the mastermind. That simple comment forced Hank to redouble his efforts, driving all the action last season. The search, Gus's effort to kill Walt, Walt's eventual plan to kill Gus. It was all set in motion because Walt wouldn't allow Hank to think Gail was responsible for the meth craze sweeping the Southwestern United States.

It's a far cry from the feckless dweeb who was washing cars in episode 1, embarrassed and belittled when his own students drove fancier cars than he did.

And that, to me, is the coolest thing about this whole show. It's how Walt's character has grown and developed. He may have started as a loser but the time when he stood up to the guys who were making fun of Walt Jr. something changed inside him.

I can't wait to see where they go with season 5 but I'm mostly happy they're going to end it now, one or two seasons too early, better than a season too late. Or four seasons too late in the case of Lost.
I can't wait to see what they do as a resolution. Will Walt immediately try to be the drug kingpin of the southwest, filling Gus's void? I don't think so immediately, but maybe eventually.
Will Jesse find out Walt poisoned the boy? Seems like this conflict will arise at some point, but not right away.
Will Hank apprehend Walt? This is how I think series will come to its end, with Hank closing in. Either he catches Walt or kills Walt, or Walt kills him, something like that is what I expect.
But here is what I would like to see: Walt tries to stop cooking, it's getting too dangerous. But Jesse is pressuring him and Skyler wants more money and he's getting bored and missing the excitement and danger of his old life. So he starts cooking again, and selling the meth, and the money is rolling and his cancer comes back. 3 months to live...

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Song of the Week

"Eye of the Tiger" - Survivor
I can't believe it's been 30 years since this song came out. It might seem like an obvious choice for 1982 but that's why I like it. This song takes you back to that time.

Friday, July 06, 2012

3000 Words

The $18.3M first prize for the million-dollar buy-in tournament at the World Series of Poker, won by Antonio Esfandiari.



Half Pooh, Half Poop



Coors Light uses a famous Seinfeld quote ("they're real and they're spectacular") in an ad. Jerry Seinfeld must have gotten paid for it because he looks pleased.




Thursday, July 05, 2012

It Happens To a Lot of Guys

Watch San Diego's "Big Bay Boom" fireworks display, in its entirety.



A technical glitch caused all the fireworks on 4 barges to go off at the same time. It should have lasted for 18-20 minutes. It was more like 20 seconds.

20 seconds, that's it?
That's what she said.

The sad thing is, people camped out for hours to get a prime viewing spot, and this is all they got.

At least she did see fireworks.

Wednesday, July 04, 2012

Song of the Week

"Precious and Few" - Climax
I decided to go with something different for 1972. There were some great soul and R&B joints out that year but I like the slow pace of this one, typifies the 1970s easy listening genre.

Monday, July 02, 2012

Product Review: Bacon Sundae

A lot of fanfare surrounded the release of Burger King's bacon sundae. Someone at work bought about 8 of them for some reason and had an extra one, so I decided to try one.

The bacon is not hot (obviously) and it's a little chewy and a little soggy, so the three big pieces that come on top don't taste all that great. Once you get past that there's smaller pieces of bacon, like bacon bits but real bacon, mixed with the vanilla ice cream which tastes great. It's a unique combination of sweet and salty but it goes together pretty well. Once you eat the bacon, and there isn't that much bacon, you are just enjoying vanilla ice cream mixed with chocolate sauce at the bottom.





It tastes pretty good, and I would recommend trying it once. But after that you will probably never want to eat it again. You can have a better ice cream if you want ice cream, and you can have hot crispy bacon if you want bacon, so I really can't see eating this thing twice.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

No Turkey Legs in Chicago

Taste of Chicago will not be the same this year. Tim McGivern has been providing turkey legs at Taste since 1981.
“Over the last couple of years, I’ve had health issues; my knee and spine are not good. My doctors more or less advised against it,” McGivern told the Chicago Tribune.
The same thing happened at Taste of Warsaw and there will be no ice cubes this year.

At least those hearty Chicagoans can enjoy these pictures of me eating turkey legs.




chowing down on my delicious turkey leg





Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Song of the Week

"Duke of Earl" - Gene Chandler
One of the best doo-wop songs ever and my choice for best song of 1962. This song is 50 years old. If Papa Poop ever read this blog he would feel very old.


Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Can't Take a Compliment, Or a Joke

Women's groups are furious over this sign at the MarketFair Mall in New Jersey. The signs says "We apologize for the whistling construction workers, but man you look good. So will we soon, pardon our dust, dirt and other assorted inconveniences."




This offensive sign makes a joke of the horrible street crime of whistling at women. I don't understand it from personal experience but I suppose I can understand how being whistled at can be annoying perhaps even offensive.
But I don't see how making a joke about something upsetting is equally upsetting. Getting whistled at by construction workers is not assault, it's a nuisance. A sign about getting whistled at is none of those.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

I Almost Had to Use My AK

While driving home on my birthday I found myself in surprisingly heavy traffic on Fair Lawn Avenue. I needed to be in the left lane to make a turn at the next intersection. Traffic was slow so I weaseled my way in. Even though I had my signal on the guy behind me chose to lean on his horn. After I made my left turn, he followed behind me. So I pulled over to let him by, just to get away from him.

He stopped next to me and screamed out the window:
“What’s your fuckin problem?” (He’s screaming at me, and I’m the one with the problem?)
“We were going 5 miles an hour you could have let me in.” (I didn’t scream. I said it so quietly he had to ask me to repeat myself.)
“I wasn’t behind you, I was alongside of you, you cut me off.” (He was behind me, or else I would have hit him when I changed lanes. I do admit to cutting him off, but only because he wasn’t courteous enough to see that I was trying to get over and let me in.)
“Just go, move on with your day.” (I was done with this discussion.)
“Go fuck yourself pal.” (Then he drove away, making a u-turn, meaning he wasn’t going the same way, he purposely followed me.)


But don't worry this didn't ruin my birthday. I actually enjoyed it, for three reasons.
I enjoy new experiences.
I like having stories to tell, keeps this blog interesting for the Poopheads with vaginas who get tired of the constant sports coverage.
And the biggest reason I was happy about it, I recognized the guy. He's an annoying father I occasionally see at the playground. He saw me wearing a Syracuse shirt once (or twice, or ten times, I pretty much wear one every day) and he told me he was raised in that area but didn't go to SU. Every time I see him he chews my ear off about SU sports (I believe the first time I ever saw him was the day Fab Melo got suspended for the tournament).
And now, I won't ever have to talk to him again. And it didn't even cost me $20 ("A Bronx Tale" reference).

Thursday, June 21, 2012

A Beatdown is in Order

We all know kids can be cruel but this takes it to a new level. Four junior high school students in Rochester, NY harassed a bus monitor so horribly they reduced her to tears. You don’t have to watch the entire 10-minute video, just enough to get the idea.





They called her fat, a troll, poor, stupid and then at the very end came the clincher. One of the students said “you don’t have a family because they all killed themselves because they didn’t want to be near you.” Little did they know (or maybe they did know), her son killed himself 10 years ago. The video cuts off right after that remark so we don’t know how she reacted. But when I first heard this story I said she should have just ignored them. They were kids being kids calling her fat and she should have just let it go. But it went on for 10 minutes. And then that personal comment at the end. She should have killed them all.



The video went viral and an effort was started to raise $5,000 to send her on a nice vacation. It already has $208,000 as of mid-Thursday.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

And He's Still Better Than Jon Sterling

Texas Rangers announcer Dave Barnett had some kind of on-air mental health incident. Watch, it starts at 45 seconds in (cuz MLB yanked down all other videos):



"2-1 game, tying run at second, leadoff single by Chase Headley. Go-ahead run is at fifth on what Adams is insisting on calling it a botched robbery. Actually happened was his henchman took a piece literally out of, uh, its..."

Barnett says he was just having a severe migraine. Seems like it might have been something more serious than that. Though he did finish the game without anymore gibberish. Not as funny though as the time reporter Serene Branson had a stroke on live TV.

Headline suggested by DKL

Song of the Week

"Real Love" - Eric Benet
Three good reasons to love this song, Eric Benet, falsetto and lyrics that perfectly describe my marriage to Mrs. Poop.

"I love you
Not just for who you are
But the way you made
A better man out of me"

"Now you got your funny ways girl
Lord knows I've got mine
Still we keep on getting better
And better, all the time
Cuz we got something real, babe"

"We can't go wrong
if we just hold on
Ain't nothing stronger
Cuz we've got something real
real love, real love
In a world full of make-believe"

"I'll bet everything, everything, on you and me"

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Truth Shall Set You Free

I found it nearly impossible to believe pre-season speculation saying that because R.A. Dickey unburdened himself of some personal demons in his book, he would start to pitch better. But something has certainly happened because is currently on the best streak of any starting pitcher in the history of baseball.

He is the first pitcher in 100 years at least to pitch two consecutive complete game 1-hitters, with 10 strikeouts or more in each.

Let's go back 6 starts:
6-0 - which matters because these games are unloseable
48 2/3 innings - out of 54 possible which is huge because bringing in your bullpen hurts you in the current game, and in games down the line
1 earned run - that translates into a 0.18 ERA
21 hits, 5 walks - 26 baserunners, that's a WHIP of .53
63 strikeouts - that's 11.65 Ks/9 innings. Those are power pitcher numbers.

A knuckleballer is not supposed to be able to do this. The knuckleball is supposed to be a fickle mistress who dances to her own whims. But Dickey has been remarkably consistent. If you remove his 8 runs in 4 1/3 innings in the rain in Atlanta, his ERA falls to a tiny 1.33.

Who knows if this can last. Chances are it won't. But this run he is on is truly historic. And it couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Nor one who deserves and appreciates his success more than Dickey.


Monday, June 18, 2012

Did She Hurt Her Eyelashes Too?

Suzanne Pierce is suing the Phillie Phanatic. In 2010 she was sitting in a lounge chair at a hotel where she was to attend her sister's wedding. The Phillie Phanatic was performing there, unrelated to the wedding. During his comic routine he picked up Pierce, and her chair, and threw her into the pool.

According to the lawsuit, Pierce "suffered severe and permanent injuries to her head, neck, back, body, arms and legs, bones, muscles, tendons and ligaments, nerves and tissues of her head, neck, back, arms and legs, including, but not limited to, a herniated L-5, S-1, aggravation and/or exacerbation of all known and unknown pre-existing medical conditions, internal injuries of an unknown nature..."

Oh is that all? I would normally have a lot of sympathy for Ms. Pierce. No one should be included in a comedy routine without their permission. And no one should ever be tossed, thrown or shoved into a pool without their consent. That could be a very dangerous activity.

But this is ridiculous. Damage to her muscles, tendons and ligaments? We get it, you're hurt. Pick the parts of your body that are hurt most, that you can prove were damaged and go with that. This Chicken Little medical report undermines her credibility.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father of the Year

As a father you know in your heart you would do anything to protect your children. Would you, could you, do this?
A 23-year-old Texas man beat a guy to death because he was molesting his 4-year old daughter.
"The victim was an acquaintance of the girl's father who came to the barn to help care for some horses.
The adults were shoeing a horse and had sent the 4-year-old and her brother to feed chickens when the attack occurred.
The children's grandfather said the boy returned to alert his father that the little girl had been taken away by a man. The father found the pair partially naked.
In the course of trying to get her away from him, and protect her, he struck the subject several times in the head and the subject died."

He won't be charged with a crime (unless new evidence emerges refuting this story). If it's true this guy is a hero. And I hope if I were ever in that situation, I would do the same thing.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Can't Grieve Forever

In February, right before the Super Bowl Peter King wrote a glowing article in Sports Illustrated about Patriots owner Robert Kraft. His beloved wife, Myra, had just died in July. King wrote:

Over the past six months Kraft's anguish over the death in July of his wife of 48 years has been continually evident. In his interview with SI he had to stop to compose himself four times when Myra's name came up

Well I guess he got over it now. Four months after he could barely speak Myra's name, he is banging actress Ricki Noel Lander. She is 32. Kraft is 71. They're not officially dating, Kraft calls her his "pal" but they've been spotted together several times, including at Celtics playoff games.

Now I don't begrudge him for moving on with his life. I just want to poke a little fun at the unseemly way he's doing it. It's always creepy when a man that old dates a chick that much younger than he is. But to do it less than a year after your wife died and act like you still miss her every day.

Maybe he is in this just for sex, and that's ok. Maybe it defiles Myra's memory a little less because he's not looking to replace her companionship. But it still gives me the hebejebies.






Story Suggested By Jay-No

Thursday, June 14, 2012

One Questionable No-Hitter is Enough

Johan Santana's no-hitter was tainted enough (by a bad call on a ball that probably should have been ruled fair). Mets fans waited 50 years for the first one, we can wait more than 2 weeks for the second one.
The Rays only hit against R.A. Dickey was a slow roller to third. David Wright tried to barehand it (the right move with BJ Upton running) but he couldn't handle it. It was ruled a hit.
That is the correct call. But the Mets are appealing it to the league office. There is precedent for this, there is a committee imbued with the power to reverse official scorers' calls.
But in this case, this hit should stand as is. But the Mets are doing the right thing by trying, showing Dickey they stand behind him.


Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Song of the Week

"Nights Like This" - After 7

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

All That Money We Give to Africa Pays Off

I have often been a Sam Kinison-esque critic of "charity" given to Africa, saying it goes to enrich warlords, empowering them even more and actually worsening the condition of the people we are trying to help. But that's for a different post, for tonight we celebrate the American influence in Kenya:



A reenactment of Game 6 of the 1986 World Series. Absolutely brilliant. The kid playing Ray Knight even grabbed the back of his the way Knight did. I just wish they had used Bob Murphy's call instead of Vin Scully's.

What Really Happened

Shortly after 5pm on Saturday June 9th in California, a car being driven by Commerce Secretary John Bryson rear ended another car that was stopped at a railroad crossing waiting for a train to pass. He got out of the car, spoke to the passengers in the car he hit, presumably exchanged insurance information and then got back in his car. He hit the car again as he drove away. And five minutes later crashed into a different car. When police found him he was slumped over the steering wheel. He was taken to the hospital where I suppose it was determined that Bryson was not under the influence of drugs of alcohol. So what happened? Here’s the terse statement from the Commerce Department:

Secretary Bryson was involved in a traffic accident in Los Angeles over the weekend. He suffered a seizure. He was taken to the hospital for examination and remained overnight for observation. He was released and has returned to Washington. The investigation is ongoing.

It sounds to me like that statement was trying to convince people he had a seizure which caused the first accident, without actually coming out and saying it. I just don’t believe it’s possible that he could have blacked out and had a seizure causing the first accident. And then seemed normal enough that the people he hit let him get back in the car.

I think it’s more likely that Bryson was on the phone or texting while driving and crashed into the back of the first car. After that, he was so disoriented, or perhaps nervous, that caused the other two accidents. If he had a seizure (I would hate to think they would make that up), I think it would have come after the second accident (though it will almost be impossible to ever know for sure). But now Bryson has taken a leave of absence for the Commerce Department while doctors monitor his health for more unexpected seizures (he had never had one before).