Jesus's Girlfriend Catches Touchdown

Someone over at Fox Sports was up late Saturday night watching "He Got Game."
When Carolina Panthers receiver Dante Rosario made the "UPS Leaderboard" he was misidentified as Rosario Dawson.



And here's the video to prove it (preceded by Dick Stockton's call of the final play):

Stockton Dawson
by bsap11

The NFL is Poop - Week 1

Serves Them Right
For five years Tom Brady was listed on the injury report without ever really being hurt. And when the Patriots finally took him off, he got hurt and is out for the season. I think Matt Cassel has learned enough just by watching that he can still lead this excellent team to the playoffs. But I wouldn't expect more than a 10-6 record and an early-round playoff loss.



A Quarterback's Best Friend
There's nothing like a good running game to help a rookie quarterback out in the NFL. But Atlanta Falcons rookie Matt Ryan didn't even need that much in his debut. Ryan threw a 62-yard touchdown on his first pass in the NFL. The last guy to do that was Michael Bishop in 2000 when he threw a Hail Mary at the end of a half for the New England Patriots.
Once Ryan got rid of those butterflies he got a lot of help from Michael Turner. Turner who has wasted four good years behind LaDanian Tomlinson took his first opportunity to start and ran with it. Turner rushed for 220 yards, including a 66-yard touchdown.



Here's The Kicker
The Jets barely survived a late charge from the Miami Dolphins, and all anyone can seem to talk about is how the Jets almost lost the game because they didn't have a anyone able to kick an extra point after Mike Nugent got hurt. What they're all failing to mention is that Nugent's injury worked in favor of the Jets because without they never would have gone for it on 4th and 13, the situation which resulted in the touchdown. Sure, everything else after it changes but it's worth mentioning. Also, it's conceivable that a punter would be able to kick an extra point but not a 40-yard field goal. But all things considered, the injury to Nugent worked in the Jets favor and helped Brett Favre win his Jets debut.

I Hope It's Not Contagious
LeBron James shakes hands with Adam "Pacman" Jones before the Cowboys game against the Browns.



Not Yet
Despite wearing his new name on the back of his jersey in warmups, the NFL ruled that Chad Ocho Cinco has to stick with Johnson on his jersey during games for the time being.



Game of the Week
Carolina Panthers 26 San Diego Chargers 24
It's very rare that you see an NFL game truly go down to the final second, but this one did, and it was a very exciting finish as Jake Delhomme threw a bullet to the back of the endzone to pull off the major upset.
But one thing struck me, why did the Panthers kick the extra point? The rules require it for some reason even though in the NFL a blocked extra point (or intercepted 2-point conversion) can not be returned for points.
Seems like a useless formality and robs the moment of some incredible excitement.



Game of Next Week
New England Patriots at New York Jets
This game is a huge test for the Patriots, and also for the new-look Jets. The Patriots probably feel (deep down in places they don't talk about at parties) that their season is over without Tom Brady. The Jets could take a huge step towards ushering in the Brett Favre era with a big win in this game. And with the other two teams in the division being so bad (maybe the Bills aren't that bad) the winner of this game has a major leg up for the division crown.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
Despite the rough season-opening performance I still believe Jason Campbell can adjust to Jim Zorn's system and learn to be a good quarterback. He has all the physical skills which is why we continue to believe in him. The Redskins play the Saints in Week 2, a team with a weak defense, but an offense good enough to put some points on the board. Campbell will have to come through with at least 20 points to earn a win.

Interesting Picture of the Week
Kim Kardashian cheers for her boyfriend Reggie Bush from a luxury suite at the Superdome. She's no Jessica Simpson though. She didn't jinx the Saints, they won 24-20.



Cheerleader of the Week
Melanie of the Tennessee Titans Cheerleaders
Melanie is single (awesome), she loves the Titans (of course) and the Chappelle Show (I wonder if she likes the "I'm Pissing" remix). But my favorite thing about her is that she says her favorite moment as a cheerleader was when they announced fellow cheerleader Brooke's engagement, and the whole crowd booed.



If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Dallas Cowboys 35 Pittsburgh Steelers 31
All the major AFC contenders either lost a game, or their quarterback, pushing the Steelers to the top of the heap. I expect the Cowboys to remain the class of the NFC all season.

Tom Brady's Assassin

Chiefs safety Bernard Pollard insists the hit that knocked Tom Brady out for the season was an accident. And the league ruled it a clean hit.
But at least it makes Pollard famous for something other than this dance performed on Hard Knocks.

One Small Step For Chase Brennan

Chase took his first step on September 5th.
I missed it because I was in the shower. Damn you personal hygeine.
And Mrs. Poop didn't even really see it because she had her back turned. Grandma was able to get him to take a couple small choppy steps.
Since then though he's repeated this feat many times, with as many as 5 steps, before falling into your arms.
He still crawls for his main mode of transportation but it's only a matter of time before he walks everywhere.
He also added a second word to his vocabulary, duck.
And he's not far from connecting his sounds of "mama" and "dada" with the appropriate people.

Tony Stewart is a Dick

Tony Stewart already has an agreement in place to leave Joe Gibbs racing at the end of this season and join a new team, of which he is 50% owner.
This would be like a free agent in one of the team sports signing with a new team during the season, and still playing out the year with his old squad.
And instead of handling this awkward situation like a gentleman Stewart has acted like a jerk.
At the Chevy Rock & Roll 400 his feud with his team and in particular crew chief Greg Zipadelli, with whom he won two Cup titles, escalated.
First, you'll see the highlights of the race, in which Stewart was gradually reeled in by Jimmie Johnson, then you'll hear the exchange between Stewart and Zipadelli.



Think how awesome it is that in NASCAR you can hear the private conversations of the driver and his pit crew. Imagine if you could hear the manager talking to his tired pitcher, or NFL coaches on the sidelines.
Stewart did qualify for the Chase and it's not inconceivable that he could win another Cup title if he stops warring with his team.

Weekly Picks

It's time for another season of Paul's picks. Even though I am not doing the pool this year due to a dissatisfaction with the rules, I'll still pick four games for 1 or 0 points, and a 5th game as my best bet for 2 or -1.

cincinnati -1 1/2 BALTIMORE
I think the Ravens are going to be putrid this year. I don't think too much of the Bengals either but they at least have an offense that can put some points on the board. With a spread this small, I just go after the winner.

minnesota +2 1/2 GREEN BAY
No one knows how Aaron Rodgers is going to do with all this pressure on him. We all know how Tarvaris Jackson is going to do, poorly. But with Adrian Peterson, an excellent offensive line and a good defense I think the Vikings will win this game, and the extra couple points cushion makes me feel even more comfortable about this pick.

dallas -5 CLEVELAND
I think this is the year Dallas gets over the hump and dominates the NFC to the tune of a 13-3 or 14-2 record. As for Cleveland, I expect a big dropoff offensively from last year. This spread is pretty big for a road favorite, but I have that much faith in the Cowboys.

NEW ENGLAND -15 kansas city
They've been waiting the entire offseason for this.

BEST BET
new york jets -3 MIAMI
I can't believe the Jets are only giving 3 points to this horrible Dolphins team, even on the road. Favre should be fired up and the Dolphins should still be bad. I can't see the Jets losing this one, so unless it's a field goal game I really like my chances here.

2008 NFL Predictions

1. The Patriots will win the Super Bowl.
2. The Giants will miss the playoffs.
3. Adrian Peterson will be good, but a major fantasy disappointment with about 1,300 yards and 9 touchdowns.
4. Larry Johnson will have a bounceback season and rack up over 1,500 yards in Herman Edwards's vanilla offense.
5. The Jets will finish 6-10, 8-8 at best.
6. Brett Favre will throw 20 interceptions.
7. Tom Brady will drop off a little, but still throw 35 touchdown passes.
8. The Rams will win 5 more games than they did last season.
9. The Packers will lose 5 more games than they did last season.
10. Derek Anderson [corrected] will throw 20 interceptions.
11. Matt Ryan will be replaced as the Falcons starter by midseason.
12. Rudi Johnson will have a better season than any running back on the Bengals.
13. But he won't get his underclothes back from Tatum Bell.
14. We'll hear several stories about how the Texans made the right decision by drafting Mario Williams over Reggie Bush. And Williams is will be better than Vince Young and Matt Leinart too.
15. Stephen Jackson will be the #1 fantasy running back, or at least in the top 3.
16. The Ravens will be no better than 4-12.
17. The elimination of the 5-yard facemask penalty will result in several controversial soft personal foul calls.
18. Using Devin Hester at wide receiver will result in some highlight reel long catches, but he won't have more than 25 catches overall.
19. Uptight football analyst guys will refuse to call the former Chad Johnson, Chad Ocho Cinco.
20. If the NFL actually allows it, jerseys with the name Ocho Cinco on the back will outsell all other players this season.

From Carrying Battier's Jock to Carrying Obama's Breath Mints

Former Duke basketball player Reggie Love, like many other Dukies never found much success in pro basketball.
But lately Love is getting more attention for his play on the court than he ever did while at Duke.
Love is now Barack Obama's "body man" or personal assistant, and his most public of chores is teaming up with Obama during pickup games, so Obama can rack up the assists.
Love also has a lot of other chores, all of which would seem menial, were he not doing them for the future President of the United States.
He makes sure Obama doesn't leave anything in his hotel room. During speeches he holds Obama's jacket, and brings him water.
But mostly Love is just there to run interference with crazed fans and to make sure the candidate gets to where he needs to be on time.



In the time between when I conceived this story and actually got around to writing, E-60 did a good, 12-minute long piece on Love and Obama.

Jason Beastly

Jason Priestley obvious isn't angling for a role in the new "90210" with this Grizzly Adams beard he's got going on. I swear it took me quite a while to figure out who this was.

At Least They're Funny

Chris Cooley hosted the Washington Redskins fantasy draft, and recorded the whole thing. Jason Campbell, Santana Moss and Mike Sellers had teams, so did Chris Cooley's wife, who is really fuckin hot, but it was Fred Smoot who stole the show.

The video is 7 minutes long, but well worth it. And the way it's edited, I'm not certain if the picks are represented in the proper order. I hope not anyway.

Funny or Douchey?

Pizza Parlor Derek is Commissioner of the Main Event Fantasy Football league, comprised mostly of Poopheads. Each year at the draft, PPD presents the winner (this year it was Billy) with his prize money, and a large mock check, like you see when corporations donate money to charity.
This year PPD went above and the call of duty and actually went to FedExKinko's and printed the check. Then he mounted it on a foam board provided by El Greco.



While I admire his hard work, I think it's a little too far to go for fantasy football.

A Bad Start

The Redskins were awful last night losing 16-7 to the Giants. It took almost the entire first half before they earned a first down or completed a pass.
And as far as the offense is concerned, the second half wasn't much better. Jason Campbell looked horrible, and they didn't get much of a running game going either.
The defense got run over by Brandon Jacobs and run past by Plaxico Burress (whom they could not cover.
Key offseason addition Jason Taylor got shoved around by the Giants run blockers, and didn't do much of anything as a pass rusher either.
I have some other problems with this game too, including a couple of dropped interceptions and the galling lack of urgency they exhibited on the late 4th quarter drive.
But I'm not ready to give up on Jim Zorn, Jason Campbell or Jason Taylor just yet, because it is only one game.

Progress Is His Middle Name

Was Goldie Wilson a good mayor of Hill Valley?
His detractors point to the fact that Hill Valley was a serene, clean place in 1955 but when he was Mayor in 1985, Hill Valley was overrun with homeless people and Libyan terrorists.
But Wilson evidently used his later term or terms to restore Hill Valley to its pristine nature once again by 2015. At that time his son was mayor, further proof he was popular because why would they have elected the son if the father wasn't any good?
And when his grandson, Goldie III, tried to sell hover conversions for $39,99.95, he invoked the first Mayor Wilson in his ads, another example of his popularity among the people of Hill Valley.
Also, many have praised Mayor Wilson's efforts to get federal relief money for Hill Valley after a fire destroyed much of the town square.

My Two Dads

ABC's Terry Moran makes a funny goof when trying to be profound about Barack Obama's background.

Funny or Douchey?

Mrs. Poop and I had an argument about my newest $8 t-shirt. I say "It's Not My Fault I'm Awesome" is funny, she thinks it's douchey. You decide.

2008 NFL Season Predictions

NFC East: Dallas Cowboys
NFC North: Minnesota Vikings
NFC South: New Orleans Saints
NFC West: St. Louis Rams
NFC Wild Cards: Seattle Seahawks, Philadelphia Eagles

AFC East: New England Patriots
AFC North: Pittsburgh Steelers
AFC South: Indianapolis Colts
AFC West: San Diego Chargers
AFC Wild Cards: Jacksonville Jaguars, Tennessee Titans

Super Bowl: New England Patriots over Dallas Cowboys

Offensive Player of the Year: Tom Brady
Defensive Player of the Year: Jared Allen
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Darren McFadden
Defensinve Rookie of the Year: Chris Long
Coach of the Year: Scott Linehan

Think I'm crazy? Step up and make your own picks in the comments section

Growing Old

Earlier this season, I saw a trivia question during a baseball game that asked which pitcher holds the AL rookie record for strikeouts.
I immediately knew the answer was Herb Score, set in 1955.
When Dwight Gooden broke Score's Major League record in 1984, 1955 seemed like old-time baseball to me.
But by the time Chase is as old as I was when that happened, 1984 will be as far away to him, as 1955 was to me.
Damn, I'm old.

Strange Baseball Plays

Jim Edmonds Finds Two Balls...But Not In His Pants


Minor Leaguer Dupes the Catcher

She Never Should Have Left New York

Julie Donaldson left New York and SNY for Boston, and ended up in an abusive relationship.
Her Boston boyfriend, Ivan Lattimore, a professional slamball player, is in jail awaiting trial for beating her up.

Here's the Boston Globe story:

Since she and Lattimore started dating, Donaldson said, there have been at least four violent episodes. The first, she said, occurred at the Super Bowl in Arizona and resulted in bruises on her arms. "I wore a long sleeve shirt and didn't tell anyone," she said.

The second attack was more serious, she said. After a Celtics game against the Miami Heat on March 30, Donaldson said that she lied to Lattimore about her whereabouts and that he was waiting for her when she returned to her apartment.

"He grabbed me by my hair and took my hands by my wrists and made me punch my face," she said, adding that she had to miss work the next day because of bruises on her face. A few months ago, she said, another fight ensued after a night of drinking at Sonsie on Newbury Street.

Donaldson said the latest assault took place in Donaldson's Exeter Street apartment after a night of dancing and drinking at the Back Bay nightclub Saint. On June 27, Lattimore's 32d birthday, Donaldson said she, her boyfriend, and another man went to the club. They drank several shots of liquor, she said, and bought rounds of drinks for others at the bar. [Note: Donaldson said she drank two bloody Marys at lunch, three glasses of sangria and four shots in the afternoon, a Vodka drink with dinner, and several shots at Saint]. At closing time, she said, Lattimore paid the $386 bar tab, and the drunken crowd spilled out onto the street. Wanting to "keep the party going," Donaldson said, she invited a group of six young women back to her apartment around 2 a.m. on June 28.

One of the women, Sounsano Phouthavoq, testified yesterday that Lattimore groped one of her friends at the apartment. Alarmed, the women tried to leave, Phouthavoq said. She said Lattimore became angry and grabbed her by the hair. When Donaldson tried to calm him, Phouthavoq said he threw his girlfriend approximately 5 feet against a wall.

"He snapped and went into a rage," Donaldson said.

Donaldson said she ran to her bedroom and locked the door, but Lattimore kicked it in. He punched her in the face at least twice, she said, and also bit her on the left cheek. "I remember a slow motion punch coming from the right side of my face," she said, weeping.

Donaldson said she managed to escape to the street, where she was met by the six young women and the police.

"She was crawling around the corner, saying, 'He's coming after me; he's going to kill me," Rosalyn Pen, one of the women, said in court. "It was like a Lifetime movie. I'd never seen anything like it."

Lattimore claims he has a sex tape of him and Donaldson which was filmed right before the alleged altercation. He plans to use it in his defense. If all this is true this will test my theory that all evidence presented in court cases is in the public record and can be attained through a freedom of information act request. I'd gladly fill out the paperwork and pay a handling fee for a Julie Donaldson sextape.








Story Suggested by SCZA

Song of the Week

"My Baby Daddy" - B-Rock and The Bizz

Drink Your Orange Juice

One of my favorite commercials of all-time featuring one of the most random celebrity endorsements of all-time. I was going to save this until Robert Loggia dies but I hope that doesn't happen for a really long time.

Last Year on the Poop

My favorite Chase t-shirt



Also, I discussed name possibilities and preferences.

What Do You Say?

What is your favorite insult beginning with the word ass?

Most Anticlimactic No-Hitter Ever

The Milwaukee Brewers are asking Major League Baseball to review a scoring decision, that if changed, would retroactively give CC Sabathia a no-hitter.
To lead off the 5th inning, Andy LaRoche hit a weak grounder back to Sabathia, he tried to bare-handed but couldn't make the play and it was immediately ruled a hit.
I agree it probably should have been scored an error at the time.
But I don't see how you can overturn this. First of all, wouldn't that be the type of instant replay Bud Selig vowed to resist?
Secondly, couldn't it open up a Pandora's Box to every self-obsessed hitter petitioning the league office everytime he reaches base on a questionable error?
Can they go back and reverse what is widely known as a generous call that allowed Joe DiMaggio's hitting streak to extend to 43 games back in 1941?
I think the official scorer should have until an hour after the game to review his judgments, and that's it.
In this case, even if Sabathia is awarded a no-hitter, he's still robbed of the special feeling of sitting alone in the dugout between innings, of getting a standing O after leaving the mound every inning, and of celebrating with his teammates.
Plus, there's no guarantee he'd have pitched the rest of the game hitless had he actually been going for a no-hitter. I think overturning the ruling would cause a lot more problems than it would fix.

Why I Recommend the Video Monitor

For those of you about to have children or will have them at some point in the more distant future, I have one product recommendation for you: a video monitor.
Most people get the audio monitor, which is perfectly fine for serving the monitor's intended purpose which is, monitoring your child.
But the unintended benefits make the video monitor worth the extra money.
One of my favorite moments of Chase's first year is the time I heard a strange noise coming from his room, and when I looked at the monitor, I saw him lying in his crib clapping.
And the other night he woke up and started crying, so I grabbed the monitor. I saw him sit up, reach down and grab his pacifier and put it back in his mouth. Then he toppled over and fell asleep with his head on the ground and his ass in the air.

My Favorite Song Cheapened to Score Political Points

While I often say that a new song a like is my favorite, truly, for years, I've had only one favorite song of all-time and that is "Wonderful World" by Sam Cooke.
So I was a little disappointed to hear the song's lyrics and meaning bastardized for this new Barack Obama ad.

It's a Free Country, If a Man Wants to Change His Name We Should Respect His Vishes and Call Him Ocho Cinco

Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson had his name legally changed in court to Chad Javon Ocho Cinco.
He said he did it because he's having fun. I will always side with the guy who's trying to have some fun, but I think this may be going a little too far for a laugh.
I'm not sure he realizes the enormity of this, the difficulty of changing your name, changing all your bank accounts, credit cards, etc.
And what about potential future wife and kids? Do they have to be burdened by this ridiculous decision?
And is his new last name Cinco, or Ocho Cinco? Does he need a hyphen?
Boxer Marvin Hagler legally changed his name to Marvelous Marvin Hagler, which is a bit boastful if you ask me.
But I can perfectly understand why former Eastern Illinois lineback Lucious Pusey changed his name to Lucious Seymour, after getting made fun of by bloggers like me.
That makes sense, but it seems like Chad is doing this just so he can wear "Ocho Cinco" on his jersey without the NFL fining him.

At Least They Got Something For Him

The Knicks acquired Patrick Ewing Junior in a trade with the Houston Rockets. And all they had to give up was Frederic Weis.
Weis the 15th pick in the 1999 draft, signifies everything that was wrong with the Knicks. We could have had Ron Artest for heaven's sake.
Maybe dumping him will exorcise some kind of demons.
I have no idea why the Rockets would do this, Weis is never playing in the NBA, maybe just to be nice to the Knicks and Ewing, who might be the 16th man on a 15-man Knicks roster anyway.
But at least this gives him the chance to revel in his dad's glory for a little while.

Phillies Fans Toss Kids Out of the Stands For a Ball

Awesome video of a kid in Philadelphia falling out of the stands in the outfield while reaching for a ball during batting practice. The kid landed hard, so Mike Pelfrey helped him out.

Instant Analysis From Idiots

Major League Baseball is testing instant replay at only 3 series this weekend, and only for "boundary calls" on home runs. On TV you will hear many talking heads make several arguments against this, all of them fallacious.

1) "It's unfair to change the rules in the middle of the season."
Yes, you can. Because the rule doesn't govern the way the game is played strategically, it doesn't favor one team over any other. And that's the true definition of fairness. Conceivably, every team has an equal chance of benefitting or being hurt by a newly reviewable play, once again, fairness.

2) "You're taking the human element out of the game."
Good. The human element makes a lot of mistakes. Instant replay, when applied with in reason will help get more calls right, and therefore make it better for everyone.

3) "Instant replay will slow down the game."
This may be so in other sports but if you've watched any of the disputed home run calls this season you know they begin with a long manager's argument, continue with a long umpires' meeting and if reversed, continue with a long argument from the other manager. If an umpire can go into a clubhouse or dugout and look at a few replays in less than say two minutes, it would alleviate all that trouble. "You'll see it clearly on the replay after the game" is a good way to end an argument with an irate manager.

According to Major League Baseball, under this system only 18 plays all season so far would have been subject to review.

Worst Sex They Ever Had

A British couple accused of having sex on a beach in Dubai face up to 6 years in prison.
Not only did they have sex in public, they did it without being married -- to each other -- which is also a crime.
The third charge against them is for drinking alcohol.
They could get the sentenced stayed if they get married, but the guy is already married to someone else.
Michelle Palmer and Vince Acors apologized for drinking, but insist they were not having sex.
But the cop who arrested them said "Her shirt was off and she was sitting on him and their voices were excited. They didn't even notice me standing there. He was kissing and playing with her chest. I shone my torch on them and said: 'Excuse me.' It was then they noticed me."
Sounds like they were fucking.

She'll Be Appearing at Gate D at Halftime

While Jets fans are very excited about the arrival of Brett Favre, they have a much bigger acquisition to crow about.
When the "Gate D Party" story broke last year, the Jets were embarrassed, but now they learned their fans are less interested in the J-E-T-S than they are in T-I-T-S.
The Jets hired former Florida State cowgirl, Jenn Sterger as a host for pregame activities.

Reason Why I Love Mrs. Poop #415,773

Mrs. Poop loves to check the messages on our home answering machine when we're away. Only problem is, she forgot the pincode. So last week while we were in Connecticut for one day she tried several times, unsuccessfully to call our machine and get the messages.
So when we got home, our machine was full of messages that consisted of her pressing a bunch of buttons, and me listening to the Mets game in the background.

They'll Be Good Parents

The dominant volleyball team of Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor is breaking up, intent on creating a future gold medal winning team. After their gold medal match, the ladies spoke of their plans to take some time off to start a family. They spoke very frankly about now being time for a baby.
But Misty will be putting that off at least for a few more months. She'll be a contestant on the next season of Dancing with the Stars. I have a feeling she'll outlast Warren Sapp and Cloris Leachman.
But maybe in the offseason she can spend some quality time with her husband, Marlins catcher, Matt Treanor. She said her one night to see him this past month was when she flew to Arizona after the Olympics.
She attended the Diamondbacks-Marlins game and in a strange break from tradition, threw out the first pitch while wearing a Diamondbacks jersey, but the pitch was received by a player from the opposing team, Matt Treanor.





Matt Treanor is getting paid $705,000 by the Marlins this year. Do you think Misty May is getting more? Maybe in an Olympic year she's earning more in endorsements, but I doubt she brings in that much during a regular year of playing on the beach volleyball tour.

I hope both women are successful and that they'll both be happy pregos by next year.

Song of the Week

"Pollywog in a Bog" - Barenaked Ladies
Those of you without children, stick with it, it gets gangster in the middle.
And you can watch it in high quality. I love doing that on youtube, even when the enhanced quality doesn't enhance my enjoyment, I still like it.

Last Year on the Poop

A classic and very special post about bringing babies home from the hospital.
I'll post the pictures here again because they're just so awesome and they make Mem and Poppy so happy.

He Must Have Had Syphillis

You can't screw thousands of people and not get syphillis. I bet Dick Butkus and his former NFL cronies are making similar tasteless jokes about the passing of NFL Players' Union President Gene Upshaw.
Unfortunately, Upshaw will be remembered terribly though the union flourished terrifically under his stewardship.
But a lot of the criticism of him is unfair. First of all, he was criticized for saying he doesn't work for the former players, but he was 100% correct, he has to listen to the current union members.
Also, he did a lot to improve benefits for retired players, but many of the problems these retirees have (specifically the more recent ones) resulted from poor decisions on their own.
At its heart, pro football is an incredibly dangerous profession, but a profession for which its practicioners are well-paid. There's no excuse for a current player not putting a portion of his salary towards long-term health insurance and retirement. If you make a bunch of bad business deals and have no money left when your health fails, then you're at least as much to blame as anyone else.
There one criticism of the union under Upshaw I agree with.
I think disability insurance area of the union's coverage is a travesty.
I've heard countless stories of retired players being refused for disability benefits by union doctors who deemed them fit for sedentary work. How is a former football player who has headaches from repeated concussions, and pain from multiple knee surgeries expected to get and keep a desk job?
I hope Upshaw's successor will extend these benefits for retirees but most crucially he should put more pressure on the players to provide for their own nest eggs.

The Volleyball Capital of the World

TON is a very happy man, because the United States is now the world's superpower when it comes to volleyball.
Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor won the women's beach gold, which was expected.
Phil Dalhausser and Tom Rodgers won the beach gold for the men, which was also expected, even though they suffered the biggest upset in volleyball history in pool play.
And the women's indoor team made it all the way to the gold medal game before bowing out.
But perhaps the biggest surprise, and perhaps the most pleasant is the gold medal won by the men's indoor team.
Through several nail-biting matches, they always managed to make the big play to earn the victory.
I love Clayton Stanley and his gangsta serves. I love Riley Salmon and his scrappiness. I love Tom Hoff, the captain who hardly plays. But my favorite player is David Lee. There must be something about the name David Lee that requires you to be incredibly unsung but remarkably efficient.



But the nicest part of this gold medal is the fact that they won it for Hugh McCutcheon. Coaches don't get medals, but he deserves one. McCutcheon missed the first three matches to be with his family after his father-in-law was killed, and his mother-in-law seriously wounded after being stabbed at a Beijing tourist spot.

And when McCutcheon came back, he coached expertly. He called the right timeouts, made the proper substitutions and executed the key strategic adjustments.

After the gold medal match, McCutcheon left the floor to cry in the tunnel for a minute before joining his team in the celebration.

Tennis Player We Can Root For

James Blake employed an old wrestling tactic for his first round match at the U.S. Open. Looking for "cheap heat," Blake came out wearing a Mets shirt with the #16 and his name on the back. I couldn't find a picture of that but I did find this shot where you can see (if you look closely) a Mets logo on his left sleeve.
Blake who is from Yonkers, is actually a big Mets fan, so I applaud his support of the local team.

Last Year on The Poop

We brought Baby Chase home.
That was the first day I took him and Diesel for a walk, an act I've repeated many times since. Few things have brought me more joy this year than walking through the park with my two boys.
For all of Diesel's behavioral issues (and there are some), he has been remarkably good with Chase. There haven't been any major problems, and all of the minor incidents (tug on the ear, finger in the eye, hand in the water bowl) have been Chase's fault.
I'm extremely pleased that they are developing the special bond that can only grow between a boy and his dog.
In fact, Chase's first word was "dog." Ok, it sounded more like "gog" but Mrs. Bates said as long as he says it when he sees it a dog, it counts as a word.
And the other day when we took Diesel to the dog park (first time since Chase was born), Chase stayed outside the fence, but laughed and giggled and yelled "gog" every time the pooches came running at him.

Last Year on The Poop

It's amazing to think back to that day one year ago and remember the doctor saying "today's baby day" then coming home and running around the house like a lunatic packing stuff, but taking the time to post this message.

And then a few hours later, Chase was born.

Facebook in Real Life

Funny British comedy sketch about the absurdity of Facebook.

Last Year on The Poop

Last year, August 20th was the first day of Poop Taking Care of Business Week. And unfortunately, I was dicking around writing this post instead of doing the shit I was supposed to.
But that classic post include this line "Baby Poop isn't doing anything to indicate he or she is ready to come out early." What a fool I was.

Almost There

I'm absolutely in shock about how much has happened in the last year since Chase was born. And a lot more is going to start happening in year number two. Chase is just about ready to start talking (he's got about half a word) and walking. He can stand for about 15 seconds on his own, and once he realizes that he has his balance, he'll take his first step.

Song of the Week

"To Zion" - Lauryn Hill
One of the best songs I've ever heard about parenthood. She named her first son Zion and this song obviously, is written to him.
"I've never been in love like this before"

Mrs. Poop's Opus

It was this day 52 weeks ago, the third Tuesday in August, the second day of my week off, that we went for a routine ultrasound. Then the doctor said "today is baby day" (words that still cause me to lose control of my bowels), and we were off to the hospital. At 4:07 pm the best 52 weeks of my life began.
In order to document this momentus time we decided to take a picture of Chase every Tuesday to document his growth.
Sounds simple right? But it became anything but. At first it was easy, then it became harder to remember to do it every Tuesday, then at about week 30 Chase started grabbing the cards. Then he started sitting up. Eventually we had to fill his hands with props and dance around the room to get him to look at us and smile instead of standing up in the crib or attacking the stuffed dog.
But 52 great pictures later, Mrs. Poop is very pround that she was able to finish what she started and I urge you to check out her work.

They Don't Call Her Mrs. Poop For Nothing

There are few things in the world more boring than baby showers. Wedding showers are bad too, except there's usually one old lady who spices things up by giving the bride-to-be a pair of crotchless panties and a riding crop.
Anyway, baby showers are so boring that women usually have to create a series of inane games just to prevent the guests from saying "here's the gift, now please let me go home."
Reflecting on that, it actually makes some sense. What makes no sense is that men play drinking games, do we really need something to make drinking more fun?
But I digress, the point is Mrs. Poop is the best baby shower-planner ever. Instead of Word Scrambles, she plays "Taste the Poop."
She took 6 chocolate bars, melted them in the microwave, and put them in diapers. The object of the game is to guess what the chocolate bar is. Despite the fact that it's just chocolate, because it's brown and mushy and in a diaper, people get grossed out and refuse to touch or taste the Poop.

I Like My Seat, I Paid For My Seat

To many people Shea Stadium is a dump, but to me it's a very special place. It's where I saw my first baseball game, where the greatest moment of my life occurred (sorry, Chase) and where I watched countless games with my dad, brother and friends.
Shea will be torn down after the season but Mets fans have the option to buy a small piece of the Stadium for a memento.
The Mets are selling pairs of seats for an expensive, but not exorbitant, $869.



That includes shipping and since I'm a NJ resident I don't have to pay sales tax.
I am really considering this but I haven't discussed it with Mrs. Poop yet. First of all, we really have no place to put the seats in our current home. But one day I hope to have a much bigger house with a den/memorabilia room and these seats would be the perfect centerpiece. Imagine watching a Mets playoff game from your living room while seated in authentic seats from Shea Stadium?

I've been saving money to buy a big-screen TV in our new house (whenever that is) and I've accumulated about $1500 so far, I am strongly considering dipping into that warchest to buy two Shea seats.

By the way, the seats go on sale to the general public next Monday, season ticket and plan holders can buy this week.

I think I would buy Orange if available, not sure what my second choice would be.

Who Are These Guys?

Player A: 216 at bats 64 hits 10 HR 36 RBI 18 BB 50 K .296 BA .354 OBP .491 SLUG
Player B: 205 at bats 63 hits 10 HR 36 RBI 19 BB 50 K .307 BA .370 OBP .512 SLUG

Story Suggested by Reissberg

I Hate Goodbyes

Even though there would be no "Farewell Show," (which is fine, we saw how that worked out for Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in "Get Paris") Chris "Mad Dog" Russo called to talk to Mike Francesa during the first show of the rest of his life.

WFAN
by bsap11

I Am Feeling Very Olympic Today Coach

The Olympics are a week old and I haven't said a word yet. Unfortunately I've been unable to watch as much as I'd like. I prefer to record huge blocks of coverage and watch what interests me.
I don't care about a lot of the sports, but for 2 weeks every 4 years I become a big fan of volleyball. I'm rooting very hard for the U.S. men's team which is playing through tragedy as their coach's father-in-law was killed in Beijing.

I enjoyed watching fencing and badminton. I've seen a few table tennis matches and marvel at the speed and spin on the ball.
I like the swimming and gymnastics, but track and field is more enjoyable to me.

I love the dominant beach volleyball team of Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor, and their biggest fan.



But the beach volleyball match between Georgia and Russia isn't quite what it was cracked up to be. The matchup was billed as everything right about the Olympics; countries putting aside differences and coming together in the spirit of competition. But the Georgian team of Cristine Saka and and Andrezza Rtvelo is actually made up of two mercenaries from Brazil. The only thing Georgian about them is those made up names. Their real names are Cristine Santana and Andrezza Chagas. But no Georgian is complaining about having Rtvelo on their side.

The U.S. has some interesting pairs of teammates. Cox (Stephanie) and Boxx (Shannon) go together perfectly for the women's soccer team. Definitely a little better than U.S. sprinters Gay (Tyson) and Dix (Walter).

But those aren't my favorite names of the Games. I prefer Japanese volleyball player Yoshie Takeshita, whose jersey I'm sure would be a great seller.

The ladies love Australian boxer Brad Pitt.

But I like Israeli swimmer Nimrod Shapira Bar-Ar. In fact, interest in Nimrod was so high that Israeli journalists covered the swimming events. Michael Phelps was the big story so one Israeli paper put its own spin on Phelps's accomplishments, using this headline after the incredible 4X100 meter freestyle relay: "Two Jews and a Black Man Help Phelps Fulfill Olympic Dream."

Other than Phelps, the biggest U.S. star of these games is gymnast Nastia Liukin. A lot was made of her close relationship with her father a former gold medal winner for the former Soviet Union. But this picture of celebration after she won the all-around gold medal, was a little discomfiting to many who saw it. Once your daughter becomes a teenager I think a kiss on the cheek will suffice.



Maybe more excited that either of the Liukins was Bela Karolyi. A lot of people have criticized him for bias towards the U.S. team and the fact that he behaves like a fan, when traditionalists believe he should behave as an impartial observer. But NBC knew what they were getting when they hired him, and if they didn't like his enthusiasm, they wouldn't constantly replay his off-air moments. I think viewers are smart enough to understand he's the former U.S. coach, his wife is still a coach, and he's going to root for the U.S. As long as he's honest, I've got no problem with him. In fact, he may have been too honest when he called out the Chinese for using underage gymnasts.

There is one picture that surpasses the above Liukin kiss in terms of stomach-turningness. Hungarian weightlifter Janos Baranyai injured his elbow while trying to lift 325 pounds.

It's Official

Mike and the Mad Dog have officially split up, as reported on The Poop on June 23rd.
Mad Dog is leaving WFAN, presumably for Sirius-XM, whenever they merge.
The new show will be called "Francesa on the FAN."
And it will start immediately meaning no farewell for the Dog.

Pizza Parlor Derek is Going to Outlive Us All

Ernest Borgnine, still kicking at 91 years-old reveals his secret to life.
In an interview with Fox News, the star of JLeary's favorite show ever "The Single Guy," explained his fountain of youth to Steve Doocy in an Irish Whisper.



"I just shook his hand!"