Fast Fraulein

We don't watch women's athletics for the titillation but every once in a while we see an athlete so hot, we can't help but notice. So I present to you German 400 meter runner Ruth Sophia Spelmeyer, the hottest female athlete in Rio.

Quick Hits - Olympic Edition

Cutest Couple
Photogenic decathlete Ashton Eaton and his wife Brianne Theisen-Eaton (she won bronze in the heptathlon) star in a very funny commercial for Visa's Checkout.
You hang up, no you hang up.



You Don't Need to Be a Pixie to be America's Sweetheart
Sarah Robles won the bronze medal in the women's weightlifting 75kg+ weight class.
Robles actually tipped the scales at 143 kilos, about 310 pounds. She lifted 286kg straight up over her head in the two lifts combined.
The only thing detracting from this story is a failed drug test and 2-year ban. She claims she failed due to hormones she was taking to treat a medical condition.

Teammates
A good teammate is always there to help.



Fun With Kids
I've been watching a lot of Olympics with the kids, and despite their iPads and youtube videos having killed their attention spans we are enjoying it. They're surprisingly into weightlifting and course Chase is following U.S. basketball closely.
But the best moment came when Chase kept referring to the race with the water jump as the "steeple." Evidently, when I gave him the name of it, he thought I said "steeple, Chase."

Song of the Week

"The Love You Save" - The Jackson 5
Michael Jackson was 11 years old.

French Gymnast Snaps Leg

On the first day of the Rio Olympics we have an entry into the gruesome sports injury Hall of Fame.
French gymnast Samir Ait Said snapped his lower leg in half while landing a vault.

He joins Kevin Ware, Anderson Silva and Corey Hill as those who have suffered a complete snap of their leg during competition.

Olympic Torch Relay Fails

The Olympic Torch made it to the Opening Ceremony where Vanderlei de Lima light the Olympic Cauldron.
In 2004 de Lima was leading the Olympic marathon with 4 miles left, when he was tackled by some loon.

After this torch relay he has plenty of company. All sorts of challenges plagued the torch carriers, including crazed loons, crazed loons, with fire extinguishers, slippery pavement, the trail car, and even an unruly leopard.

Here is a video of some of the greatest fails of Brazil's torch relay.

Song of the Week

"Betcha By Golly Wow" - Prince
I didn't even know Prince had a cover version of this song. Never mind that Olympic gymnast Dominique Dawes is in the video.

I Don't Hate It

Maybe I am just tired of getting angry and upset at every trade the Mets make, I just can't take the pain anymore, but I don't hate the deal for Jay Bruce.
Yes, I think it's mostly bad, and shows a lack of understanding in two key areas by the Mets front office, but I think Bruce is actually an excellent player, and a major improvement over what he Mets have right now.
And I don't think the two prospects offered, Dilson Herrera and Max Wotel, are likely to develop into above-average major leaguers.
First, the Mets are way out of the divisional race, and have to catch two teams to get the second wild card. So it doesn't make sense to trade to young players when they have only a 26% chance to make the playoffs according to FanGraphs.
Second, Bruce plays right field. And not very well. He is an absolute butcher out there. And he replaces Curtis Granderson who is also bad. And Yoenis Cespedes has been bad this year (likely attributable to injury and playing out of position). And if Cespedes is not healthy enough to play left, Granderson and Conforto will split time in center, meaning the Mets are supporting a great pitching staff, with the worst outfield defense in the majors. Not smart.
Third, they failed to look to next year, when they will have Bruce and Granderson under contract and Cespedes will likely return, unable to best his contract coming off this injury-plagued season. That means delaying by a year (Bruce and Granderson both have contracts that expire after 2017) the Conforto-Lagares-Nimmo triumvirate that should be the outfield of the future.

But the Mets did get a good hitter, who is not past his prime yet (this is his age 29 season) and he will surely improve the middle of the lineup.
Unfortunately too much stock is placed on his RBI and batting average with runners in scoring position, which is a lot about opportunity and luck.
There is a chance that Cespedes gets healthy, maybe Duda comes back, and some other guys get going (and the RISP bugaboo ends in a flurry) and the Mets get hot and do win the wild card.
And with their pitching, in a one-game scenario, or even a 7-game series, anything can happen.
As long as the other team doesn't hit the ball to our outfielders.

Note: I hate the Antonio Bastardo trade. I know he has been terrible, but his track record and his unusually high home run rate indicate that he should improve either this year, or next. Plus we know what Jon Niese is about and he just isn't any good.

Clubhouse Cutup

White Sox pitcher Chris Sale was supposed to start Saturday's game against the Detroit Tigers wearing those weird collared throwback jerseys the White Sox briefly wore during the 1970s.

Evidently, Sale doesn't like the collared jerseys and believes he has the right to say which uniforms the team wears on days he pitches. But because the jerseys were part of a promotional giveaway, the team refused to budge.

So while the rest of the team was out taking batting practice, Sale was in the clubhouse cutting the collars off, not only his own jersey, but everyone else's too.

With the jerseys destroyed, the White Sox scratched Chris Sale from the game, sent him home and replaced him with relief pitcher Matt Albers. And they were forced to play the game in different throwback uniforms, the 1980s style.

The whole situation is a bit absurd and it seems to be about a bigger issue involving the control over players exerted by management, dating back to this preseason's clash between the front office and Adam LaRoche. It seems like Chris Sale is just being a huge baby here, and of course, no matter what the issue, this is not the place to take a stand. But, there could certainly be a broader issue here that was lingering before this crazy circumstance, best summed up by this intrepid White Sox fan whose sign reads: "You're Right Chris, These Jerseys Are Uncomfortable."

Song of the Week

"This Girl" - Kungs vs. Cookin' on 3 Burners
Weirdest name for a musical group, even before you added the Kungs vs. part. But I like the song, especially the instrumental portions.

They Are Who We Thought They Were

"If you wanna crown em, then crown their ass, but they are who we thought they were, and we let em off the hook."
"Thanks Coach."
Dennis Green died today at age 67, after a heart attack.

Song of the Week

"Breathe" - Faith Hill
A great country love song.

Song of the Week

"Ni**anometry" - Canibus
One of my favorite songs from one of my favorite rappers who was just too smart and too angry to ever make it to the mainstream.
But it comes up now because it shares a sample with "Permission" (SOTW, 7/6/16), both of which come from "Brother's Gonna Work It Out" by Willie Hutch.

No Guarantees

While the basketball world, and 2/5ths of my household is incredibly excited about Kevin Durant joining the Golden State Warriors, I don't think we should skip the season and hand them the title just yet.
First of all, as a basketball fan, one who lost interest in the NBA when it seemed all good players did at the end of the game was run into defenders and hope to get fouled, I love watching the Warriors.
We recorded 10:30pm ET games and watched them the next day, even though I often knew the result. Their style of play was a joy to watch, and it is only going to get better with Kevin Durant.
The Warriors could literally put four guys on the 3-point line, with Draymond Green in the middle, shoot nothing but 3s and still win 60 games in the regular season.
I cannot wait to see Durant, Curry and Thompson play together.
But I fear the losses of Barnes and Bogut may hurt them defensively and on the boards, especially in the playoffs.
Clearly, no team ever can match their offensive firepower. Regardless of the result it promises to be one of the most memorable teams ever.
But expectations are so high, they have to win 74 games AND the title to not be considered a disappointment.
And let's say something goes wrong, especially with Curry's health, will the Warriors will be willing -- and able -- to sign him to the max contract after next season.
Who knows what will happen, but it will sure be fun to watch.

Song of the Week

"Permission" - Ro James

Shaq Can't Spell

Shaq tries to talk smack about Steph Curry being the NBA's first unanimous MVP but he doesn't quite get the spelling correct.

Song of the Week

"Hot Child in the City" - Nick Gilder

Song of the Week

"Looking Through Patient Eyes" - PM Dawn

When I read that Attrell Cordes aka Prince Be the Nocturnal, half the brother duo that made up PM Dawn, died, I immediately wanted to pay tribute with a Song of the Week. But I couldn't pick "Set Adrift on Memory Bliss" (SOTW, 5/23/12) because it had already been SOTW.
So it was between this and "Die Without You" and I just happen to like this one a little better. I think it shows off what made them unique, no one was singing songs like this back then.
Prince Be was only 46 when he died, meaning he was only 21, 22, 23 when the group had its greatest success. Sorry the second half of his life didn't work out as well, at least professionally, and sorry 23 years amounts to half his life.

Luckily There Was No Mayo Truck in the Vicinity

A truck carrying deli meat crashed into a bread truck on 287 in Piscataway, NJ, spilling the contests of both trucks onto the roadway.

Disappointment

It's been a rough sporting year in the Poop household as the Mets lost the World Series, Syracuse got beaten in the Final Four, the Redskins lost a playoff game at home and now our adopted NBA team, the Golden State Warriors loses a heart-breaking Game 7 of the NBA Finals.
A lot of excitement got us to that point, but all four magical runs ended in disappointment.

Note: I am a Knicks fan. Chase still insists he is a Knicks fan. But Stephen Curry and the Warriors are so much fun to watch, it's a much better introduction to the game of basketball for a young fan than watching the Knicks lose would be.

All season we recorded late night Warriors games and watched them the next day. Throughout the playoffs, I watched the games, recorded them and Chase watched the second half before school.

The boys stayed up to watch Game 7, and ended up going to bed in tears.

A few thoughts:

1) Stephen Curry played like garbage in the Finals, especially during Game 7. It wasn't just his poor shooting, which was his most glaring weakness. It was his lack of urgency and his ball-handling that seemed like it belonged in a February game against Sacramento, not Game 7 of the Finals against LeBron.

I couldn't find any good pictures to prove it but I am pretty sure that Curry's shooting form was off. He used to have perfect form, straight up and down, head over feet. Many times during the playoffs, and especially the Finals he seemed to be shooting while leaning forward. Maybe it's his knee injury, maybe it's fatigue, maybe he just got out of wack, but he just didn't seem right.

2) This game doesn't tarnish the Warriors legacy, much. They are a great team, NBA champs, 73 wins, return trip to the Finals. A couple more years of this and they're right up there with the Jordan Bulls, Russell Celtics, Wilt Lakers as the best teams of all time.

3) It does tarnish Curry's legacy. He came up small in the biggest game of his career. And he wasn't so great in last year's Finals, either.

4) It absolutely does cement LeBron's legacy. He has 3 NBA titles, six straight years in the Finals, and he made a legendary all-time play with his block on Iguodala to preserve the game. He is definitely in the top 5 all-time with Jordan, Magic, Russell and Wilt.

5) I guess I'm the only one who roots for these long championship droughts to continue. I like it, it adds an extra story line and drama. Now no one cares when the Red Sox are in the World Series. And who really cares about San Diego as a loser city, they only have two teams and nice weather. Having Cleveland and their near misses to talk about made it interesting whenever they got close.

There's Some People Even 300 Pounds of Weight Loss Can't Help

Actor Ron Lester died after suffering liver and kidney failure.
Lester became famous as the 500-pound offensive lineman, Billy Bob, in "Varsity Blues."

But as I reported in 2008, Lester had bariatric surgery and lost roughly 300 pounds.

But perhaps the damage was done. Poor Billy Bob.

Song of the Week

"I Got a Story To Tell" - Notorious B.I.G.
A few years ago, the internet tried to pinpoint the exact date of the good day described in Ice Cube's classic "It Was a Good Day" (SOTW, 4/25/07), and while I never want to let logic and reason get in the way of something so fun and fascinating, the truth is there was no singular "day" where all that great stuff happened. It was an imagined day, or a composite of previous good days. It wasn't literal.
Well now the internet has gone crazy again ever since Dan LeBaturd asked Fat Joe which Knicks player Biggie was talking about in this song.



Sean Combs later confirmed Fat Joe's assertion that the song was about Anthony Mason.

But we should remember, it doesn't mean whatever actually happened, is anything close to what is described in this song, because of course, we know that basketball games don't get rained out.

Whole Lotta Problems

An FDA inspector visited a Whole Foods plant in Massachusetts.
Here are the findings, as recorded in a letter from the FDA to the company:

On February 10, 2016, you were mixing ready to eat pesto pasta directly under an area in the Assembly Room where condensate from ceiling joints was dripping onto the surface below.
On February 16, 2016, you were storing an uncovered rack of ready to eat mushroom quesadilla in the same area of the Assembly Room where condensate from ceiling joints was dripping onto the surface below.
On February 10, 2016, your employee transported uncovered ready to eat vegetables through a doorway, from the Veg Prep Room into the Prepared Veg Cooler. A significant amount of condensate had formed above the doorway and was dripping onto the surface below.
On February 10, 2016, your employee was cutting chives and beets on a work surface directly underneath a leaking condensate drainage pipe in the Veg Prep Room.
On February 16, 2016, you were holding uncovered ready to eat egg salad in large white barrels that were placed in an area below the condenser. Condensate was observed to be dripping at a rate of approximately once per second from the condenser fan bolts in the K8/K9 Room.
On February 16, 2016, your employee transported uncovered ready to eat couscous through an area in the K8/K9 Room where condensate was dripping from an area around the condenser fan bolts at a rate of approximately once per second.
On February 10, 16, & 18, 2016, you were holding ready to eat vegetables, utensils such as cutting boards, mandolins, stainless colanders and yellow plastic totes in close proximity to hand a washing station in the Veg Prep Room. The hand washing station does not have splash guards and is foot operated releasing water from the faucets with significant pressure causing water to splash outside the sink while employees were observed washing soiled hands. Water splashed onto covered and uncovered ready to eat vegetables, utensils and food containers.
On February 16, 2016, your employee measured the strength of peracetic acid from the faucet in the Veg Prep Room with an (b)(4) Peracetic Acid test strip that indicated its strength over 160 ppm (maximum level on the test strip). This concentration exceeds the maximum level recommended by the (b)(4) product information sheet and the maximum level allowed under 21 CFR Part 173.315(a) (5) for use of peracetic acid for surface treatment and soaking and rinsing of vegetables.
On February 16, 2016, your employee was performing multiple tasks in the Pre-Pack Room including filling and weighing ready to eat egg salad in retail packs. The employee was observed cleaning and directly contacting work surfaces and then packaging and handling exposed product without hand washing or changing gloves in between tasks.
On February 16, 2016, your employee in the Bulk-Pack Room was observed assembling bulk cartons while also packaging exposed ready to eat quinoa cakes without hand washing or changing gloves in between tasks.
On February 16, 2016, your employee in the Pre-Pack Room was spraying (b)(4) quaternary ammonium based sanitizer to clean work surfaces while another employee in close proximity was packaging exposed ready to eat mesculin salad. This resulted in the sanitizer being sprayed onto an open colander of salad leafy greens.
On February 16, 2016, your employee’s unprotected upper sleeves were frequently touching ready to eat leafy salad greens as leafy salad greens were packaged into retail packs in the Pre-Pack Room.

So a lot of it is about a drippy air conditioner, and most of it is minor, but I admire the detail. Here's a government employee working hard for the people.

Tom Hanks is Obtuse

A few months ago in response to Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi" (SOTW, 2/24/16), JLeary pointed out a previously unknown to me line from "You've Got Mail." Tom Hanks's character says "I could never be with someone who likes Joni Mitchell."



He goes on to quote from one of Mitchell's other big hits "Both Sides Now." He said "it's clouds illusions I recall, I really don't know clouds at all." And then he goes on to ponder whether it's a metaphor for something.

Before I go on, I should say that this is the only (I think) song that has been SOTW twice, once for the Neil Diamond version (SOTW, 12/27/06) and again for Canadian Cutie Carley Rae Jepsen's rendition (SOTW, 3/18/15).

Now back to the clouds. It's not a metaphor. She looks at clouds and sees all kind of neat shapes. Then she looks at them again and ponders their role in weather and how it disrupts her life. But when she thinks back on clouds, she recalls the illusions, the angel hair and feather canyons.

She goes on to take the same incisive view of life and love, noting that like clouds, both have good sides, fun dreamy sides, but also a negative side.

And after all that thinking, she really doesn't know clouds, life or love, at all.

Another Thing JJ Watt and I Have in Common

I've been coaching Chase's youth baseball team this season and one day the other team decided not to show up. So we improvised and played parents versus kids. I planned to run have speed station-to-station, but I got up and ripped one to center, as I rounded first, the ball was rolling down a hill in the outfield so I decided to turn on the jets and try for a home run.

And boom! I felt something pull in the back of my right leg. I did get the home run, but a few days later I was left with this nasty bruise on the back of my leg.

It didn't hurt to the touch, but it felt tight for about two weeks afterwards.

When it finally healed, I decided to teach the kids a lesson about base running and not throwing the ball all over the field once a runner had already reached base. I took off running to first and felt that same feeling again, only this time in the other leg.

This incident reminded me of an old post from when JJ Watt suffered a similar injury.

It's still not clear what happened to him, whether he suffered a pulled muscle or it's just a horrible bruise, the type you could possibly sustain if a large man falls on top of you in the wrong way. But I am sure he handled it with the same toughness and I exhibited with mine.

Song of the Week

"Walkin' in the Rain With the One I Love" - Love Unlimited

Baseball Been Berry Berry Good to Me

When Roberto Clemente first came up with the Pittsburgh Pirates reporters coined him "Bobby" and frequently tried to embarrass him by spelling phonetically the things he said. Sentences like "I heet the boll..." actually appeared in newspapers.
But that was 50 years ago. That would never happen in our more sensitive culture now.
Astros outfielder Carlos Gomez (whose phantom injury sent the Mets to the World Series last year) did an interview with Houston Chronicle columnist Brian T. Smith in English, even though Gomez doesn't speak the language very well.
Here's what Smith wrote in the newspaper:

"For the last year and this year, I not really do much for this team. The fans be angry. They be disappointed."

Gomez thinks his exact quote was used that way to embarrass him.

You don't need to be an English major to figure that out.

I Would Have Shot the Parents Too

The tragic death of Harambe the gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo is the direct result of negligence by the parents of the child who ended up in the gorilla enclosure.

Yes accidents happen. Small children do things and go places they are not supposed to. But any good parent would have rounded up their child before they even thought of getting close enough to the gorilla enclosure to fall in.
As sad as I am about the death of the gorilla I feel the Zoo had no other choice. A tranquilizer dart wouldn't work fast enough on an animal that large. Entering the enclosure, even a trained professional could have frightened the animal.
They did what they could to do save the child's life. Now if they could only do something about his parents.

I Hope We Find Them a Nice Warm Jail

A bison calf had to be put down after a pair of tourists to Yellowstone National Park put the animal in their car because they thought he was cold.

The idiots took him away from his herd, and efforts to reunite him were unsuccessful and he had to be euthanized for his safety and the safety of others because he kept approaching people and cars.

The tourists, who are not American, say they found him alone, thought he was freezing and wanted to drive him to a park facility.

That's bullshit. I don't know if they wanted to take him home, or just have a good instagram picture of a bison calf in their rental car but everyone knows you don't fuck with nature.

The park rangers said the tourists thought they were caring for the animal. I am not forgiving. They should be prosecuted.

Who Looks Like Whom?

Chase on the left, Julian in the middle and Lincoln on the right. All pictures from 3-5 days after birth.

Brothers Don't Shake Hands

Definitely the best part of having a new baby is seeing how the big brothers are reacting.
The first night we had him home Chase said to me "I don't know why, but I just love him so much."
And we sometimes find Julian randomly sitting near Lincoln's seat or bassinet with his book or his iPad, just looking at him, being near him.

Mrs. Poop bought these shirts with their names on them, as a set, before we 100% decided on the name. Good thing we stuck with our first choice.

Song of the Week

"Keep You in Mind" - Guordan Banks
Love finding a good, lesser-known R&B/soul singer.

Never Gets Old

Here he is, Lincoln Diesel
Born 5/24/16 at 10:23 am
Weighing at 10 pounds 4 ounces and standing 21 and a quarter inches tall

Even though this is the third time we've done it, it doesn't get less exciting or less cool.
It may even be more fun because we have the added dimension of the big brothers and their excitement.
Also the nerves and fears you have with your first are basically gone by the time you get to number 3.
Plus, research shows third kids usually turn out the best.

Song of the Week

"The Name Game" - Shirley Ellis
Quite possibly, the worst and dumbest song that ever made Song of the Week. But if you listen, you may figure out why I chose it.

The Gnome Knows

I went to two Mets games last August and I learned something important at each:
On August 2nd, I learned that Julian loved Thor aka Noah Syndergaard.
On August 29th, I learned that if you wanted to get a promotional giveaway you need to get there early, or spend a lot of money to buy it on eBay.

As soon as we heard the Mets were giving away Noah Syndergaard-en Gnomes, we got our tickets.
We gave them the tickets for the 8th night of Hanukkah, so they had been looking forward to it almost as long, and perhaps much more excitedly, than to the arrival of their new brother.

Unfortunately, for the second straight time, a game I looked forward to all winter, became an inconvenience when the time was changed, this time from 7pm to 4pm.
That caused Mrs. Poop to have to miss the communion of her friend's daughter, Chase to miss the second tryout for travel baseball and it came into conflict with the final hours of Passover.

To avoid the traffic, parking fiasco of last year's Jesse Orosco bobblehead day, we left our house 4 hours and 20 minutes before game time.

We arrived at 12:15 for a 4:05 start, and had one hour and 50 minutes until the gates opened. We sat in the car, walked around the parking lot and got on line at the left field gate at 12:45. That's when a man came by and said this gate opens half an hour later than the main gate by Jackie Robinson Rotunda. Gnomes would still be given away, but we'd have half an hour less inside the stadium. So we relocated. At 1:05 PM, a full hour before the gates opened, the lines were so long that I almost doubted whether we would be among the first 15,000 to get them.

We did and the kids loved them.

Because our seats were in left field we watched batting practice along the wall on the Giants side of the field. Relief pitcher Derek Law made two enemies for life by not tossing the ball in his glove into the crowd.

Mrs. Poop was a trouper, toughing it out, from a seated position, at 36 weeks pregnant.

The game started off well, as the Mets scored 2 each in the first and second innings, but then deGrom game up 3 runs to make it close.

But Chase's burgeoning favorite Met (Michael Conforto) homered in the 5th, and Julian's favorite Met (Wilmer Flores -- they share a birthday and a tendency to cry on the field) homered in the 6th and the bullpen held on for a 6-5 win.

The enduring memory of this game will be the gnomes.

I offered the kids to keep one for their room, one in its box in the basement as a collectible, and sell the other 2 (they consistently sell for $80-$100 on eBay) but they the gnomes are way too cool to sell.

Note: One guy was walking the concourse before the game with a $10 bill offering to pay cash for the gnomes. People were laughing in his face.

Song of the Week

"Half on a Baby" - R. Kelly
"digging like a shovel, all the things you do"

I Hope Arsenio Hall has a Good Alibi

Police in suburban Chicago have put out a well-being check for Irish singer and musician Sinead O'Connor.
Wilmette police released a statement Monday saying O'Connor reportedly left the area for a bicycle ride at 6 a.m. Sunday and hasn't returned.
Sgt. Michael Robinson says a caller expressed concern for O'Connor's well-being.
Comedian Arsenio Hall sued O'Connor this month over a Facebook post in which she accused him of furnishing the late musician Prince with drugs.

UPDATE:
Police located her and she is safe.

Song of the Week

"Don't Mind" - Kent Jones
I'm not saying it's not stupid. I am saying it's catchy.
Konichiwa!

What Do You Give Me For? Heidi Cruz and Anna Gasteyer

What do you give me for Heidi Cruz and Anna Gasteyer?

The Beginning of the End

"Chalk it up to Swiss affluence. Voters here will decide next month whether all 8 million citizens and legal residents should be guaranteed a generous monthly income, something no country in the world has ever done.
On June 5, Swiss voters will weigh in on a radical proposal that would mandate the government to guarantee $2,600 a month tax-free to every adult citizen and legal resident, and $650 to each child.
The payment would be provided to everyone, regardless of work status, income level, or wealth. It is a benefit few countries can afford. But then, Switzerland is among the world's richest nations, with a per capita income of about $85,000, 40% higher than that in the USA."

This is going to happen. It is going to start in places like Switzerland, then move to places like Finland and Norway, then the UK and Canada and eventually to the U.S.
And when that happens we're done. Why would anyone ever work when a comfortable living wage is provided with no effort required.
Hopefully, I'll be long dead before they start paying everyone just to be alive.

Song of the Week

"7 Years" - Lukas Graham
I hate growing up, and songs about growing up make me sad. But this one stays with you.
But his father may have been a little demanding, telling him to find a wife at 11.

What Do You Give Me For? David Letterman And Sweaty Department Store Santa in the Offseason

What Do You Give Me For David Letterman And Sweaty Department Store Santa in the Offseason?

It's a trick. This is David Letterman. This is what he looks like now.

Song of the Week

"Am I Black Enough For You?" - Billy Paul
I only went with this one because his classic "Me and Mrs. Jones" (SOTW, 1/26/11) already earned this honor. This song was actually the next single released after his first smash hit and, its departure in sound and significance may have prevent Paul's career from really taking off.
Either way, Billy and Paul mourn the loss of Billy Paul, even though his real name was Paul Williams.

What Do You Give Me For? Ted Cruz and The Lady from Maury

What do you give me for Ted Cruz and Searcy Hayes, a guest on the Maury Povich Show?

The internet went nuts after an episode featuring Hayes aired, questioning which of man was the father of her baby, because some think she bears a striking resemblance to Presidential candidate, Texas Senator Ted Cruz.

And if you need to see more of Hayes before making your decision, good news, she's apparently going to make a sex tape.

Nazi vs. Jew Beer Pong

The town of Princeton, NJ is an uproar after a it was revealed that students at the local high school have a long standing tradition of playing a beer pong variant called Jews vs. Nazis.

The cups are set up on one side in a swastika shape, and a Jewish star on the other.
The Jew team can "Anne Frank" a cup, to hide it or take it away.
The Nazis can "Auschwitz" their opponents and force them to skip a round.

It's not clear if there is any true anti-Semitism here, Jewish students may even have been part of it.

But they are certainly guilty of not understanding the seriousness of World War II and the Holocaust.
Though they should be commended for their creativity, and at least a cursory understanding of history.

Doves Are Crying

Prince died Wednesday at the age of 57 under circumstances that are still unclear. We knew he was on a flight that had to be diverted because of a medical emergency. And we knew he spent a time in the hospital, reportedly for the flu, but we still don't know exactly what killed him.

Prince was an enigmatic figure, whether gender-bending or turning himself into a symbol, or litigiously enforcing his copyrights (which is why no youtube clips will accompany this post).

But there's little debate that he was a musical genius who could not only sing, but play several instruments as well, demonstrated here (in a youtube video I can show you) as he plays along with legendary guitarists for a version of "My Guitar Gently Weeps."

He was a big sports fan and always stayed true to his hometown teams, unlike other front-celebs, and he was often seen on TV and Vikings games.

He also always stayed true to his music, a true artist, always adapting to the times, going from 70s funk to 80s pop to 90s R&B and soul.

My favorite Prince songs are "I Wanna Be Your Lover" (SOTW, 3/28/12), "Call My Name", "Adore" & "7."

Prayers For Pearl

Syracuse legend Dwayne "Pearl" Washington died Tuesday after a battle with brain cancer. Pearl was 52.

You saw this year's team wearing shirts bearing his name during their surprising run to the Final Four, as part of the fundraising effort to pay for his medical care.

He played for Syracuse from 1983-1986 and was the first real star the school had. His battles with Patrick Ewing and Georgetown were part of what helped build the Big East into the best conference in the country.

It was Pearl who helped blaze the trail of top recruits like Rony Seikaly, Sherman Douglas, Derrick Coleman and Billy Owens to make their way to cold, snowy Syracuse to play for a curmudgeonly coach.

He never reached his potential in the NBA, playing only three years of the Nets and Heat.

It was with the Nets that Pearl played alongside Duane Washington and due to their similar names, they were often confused.
People thought Pearl had a drug problem, but that was Duane.
In fact, ESPN.com ran a picture of Duane with the article announcing Pearl's death.

Even though he never had the pro career he wanted he was always remembered fondly at Syracuse, and became a fixture around the program.

I saw him once at the bookstore, Dick Vitale was doing a book-signing there ahead of broadcasting a Big Monday game, and Pearl walked in. Vitale stopped his canned speech about young people and began to talk about Pearl as a player and as a person. I skipped class that day.

Song of the Week

"Trumpets" - Jason Derulo

"Is it weird that your ass remind me of a Kanye West song?"
Kind of a silly song, but I like the sentiment expressed here.
I also like the music, the melody, a good one to listen to as an instrumental.

Song of the Week

"Written All Over Your Face" - Rude Boys
This songs features vocals from the late, late great Gerald Levert who was something of a musical mentor to the members of the group.

Get Out of My Dreams

Last night I got home late and didn't eat a proper dinner. I had Fritos and some spicy dip.
That night I dreamed I was at an amusement park and I got separated from my family so I walked around with TON and Lowercase E. And Lowercase E was complaining about the humidity.

The Wall Street Journal explains why this happens:

Everybody dreams, though many recall their dormant fantasies better than others. Some report that their subconscious stirrings appear to be more vivid after a spicy meal. Science is a long way from understanding all the nuances of the resting brain, but one expert, Emmanuel Mignot, director of the Stanford University Center for Sleep Sciences and Medicine, explains how a pad thai dinner might seem to bring on nightmares.

Dreams have two functions, Dr. Mignot says. One is to relax the most primitive part of the brain. “When you are in REM sleep,” he says, “you cool down and are essentially paralyzed, and the lower part of your brain is almost switched off.” While that’s happening, the second purpose of dreaming kicks in: the cortex, which controls higher-order executive function, switches into overdrive. “Dreaming fires your brain in random ways, forcing it to create unexpected connections that you wouldn’t logically make while you are awake,” he says. This is part of what makes humans smarter and more creative than other species.

If you’re a sound sleeper, you likely won’t recall your dreams, anyway. “Most people who remember their dreams have relatively poor sleep,” says Dr. Mignot. “They wake up frequently, so they have fragmented dream states, which allows them to remember more about the dream.”

No food has been shown to increase the vividness of dreams, the psychiatrist and behavioral scientist explains. During the night, people go in and out of the dream state numerous times. Various studies have shown that by eating certain proteins, like turkey, you will have more dreams. And some amino acids can increase the amount of REM sleep, when intense dreaming typically takes place.

While there is a lot of literature showing that eating big meals makes people sleepy, there are no studies that Dr. Mignot knows of that prove that spicy foods in particular induce nightmares or outlandish dreams. However, he notes, chicken tikka or too much sriracha could possibly be a culprit for some people. “Spicy foods increase your body temperature, so they may make you sleep less well—and as a consequence, your dreams may be more conscious,” he says. That doesn’t mean that you’ll dream more vividly or have more nightmares, he adds, but remembering them clearly may feel like the same experience.

Many types of foods—not just spicy ones—might have an impact on dreams because the gut and the digestive process are so complex, the sleep expert says. “Amino acids in food, for example, can be metabolized in the body into active brain chemicals like serotonin and dopamine,” the professor of sleep medicine says. “They can enhance anxiety or pleasure, and that might affect your dreams.” But your grandma’s piquant meatballs have never actually been proven to give anyone nightmares (indigestion notwithstanding).

For people who often jolt awake from disturbing dreams, Dr. Mignot recommends keeping a food journal to see if there are any particular foods that might be triggering nightmares or shorter sleep cycles. He has his narcoleptic patients sometimes keep diaries to try and determine if specific foods make their dreams more ghoulish. “But I’ve found that the size of the meal is more important,” he says. And can any food create happy dreams? The doctor has doubts: “Unfortunately there is no food that I know of that can make you have funnier, more vivid dreams.”

This definitely makes sense because I am a very deep sleeper and I very seldom remember my dreams at all. Maybe the spicy food and heartburn wake me up, or keep me from getting into a deep sleep, and therefore I'm just more like to remember a weird dream after eating spicy food.

What a Difference Six Homers Makes

One of my favorite parts of the start of baseball season is when some young rookie comes up and gets off to a hot start and I get to go into the basement to see if I have any of his rookie cards to sell.

When Rockies shortstop Trevor Story came up and hit home runs in each of his first two at bats, his name immediately sounded familiar.
I remembered I had his 2013 Bowman Chrome Farm's Finest Mini Blue Wave refractor. Which is limited to only 250.

The card is currently listed on eBay, and whereas before the season it was going for less than $5, I am hoping it will bring in at least $15 now.

Unfortunately I was not lucky enough to have his 2011 Bowman Chrome autograph rookie.
That card could have been had for $25-$35 on Opening Day.

Six home runs later, more than 100 of them have been sold this week, and they are now going for nearly $150.

Often times these cards come plummeting right back down to earth, but one of those other times, I regret every day.

It was mid-November, basketball season had just started and the Warriors were hot. I decided I wanted to get Chase a Steph Curry rookie for Hanukkah.

I checked eBay and noticed cards were going for $60-$75 when only a couple weeks earlier they were $40, and in the offseason going for $20-$30. Then Curry reached even greater heights, his popularity soared as the Warriors almost never lost and the cards shot up to $300.
Since then they have pulled back under $200, but I still haven't bought one, and I fear I may never get the chance.

Mrs. Poop's Favorite Hockey Player

Mrs. Poop's favorite hockey player used to be Hartford Whalers great Ron Francis, for whom she rooted (along with her French-Canadian grandmother), while wearing this jersey:

But now Mrs. Poop has a new favorite player:

Washington Capitals center, Jay Beagle.
She has ordered this jersey in 3 different child sizes.

Mrs. Poop once described herself as having been raised by beagles.

All Work No Play Makes Master Bates a Winner

For years Master Bates has been sending me his bracket just under (and sometimes just after) the deadline for our 3-man family battle royale bracket challenge. Unbeknownst to him, I have been entering him into ESPN every year. And while everyone else picks a different name depending on what's happening that season, he remains, for once and for always, the Overworked Accountants.
In this topsy-turvy year Master Bates prevailed, defeating his nephew Juju who picked the lower number seed in virtually every game.
The biggest story however was yours truly who was the only person to pick North Carolina to win it all. I would have been the easy winner had that miracle shot not gone in and UNC had prevailed in OT.
But it would have been a hollow victory, because that was not my real bracket. It was the bracket I filled out right after the brackets were revealed, with little or not thought at all. My real bracket is way down at the bottom, 14th of 16. I would have been the first to admit it wasn't my real picks, but we have always treated this tournament challenge, the way Chicagoans treat their elections: "Vote early and often."
But it was not to be, so Master Bates is the winner, once again proving that you need to watch college basketball, or to even knowingly enter, to win.

2015: Nat
2014: Billy
2013: TON
2012: Reissberg
2011: Mrs. Poop
2010: Vacated (I forgot to keep accurate records)
2009: Mrs. Poop
2008: Pa Beers
2007: Michael

Song of the Week

"Kids" - MGMT

I Can't Make It Song of the Week Again

I already made "Danger" by Blahzay Blahzay the Song of the Week back in March of 2009.
Being a Syracuse alum of a certain age, a great run by the basketball team always reminds me of this song which became the anthem for the team's run to the 1996 Championship game, with one minor lyrical adjustment.
"When the Cuse is in the house..."

It Was An Honor Just to Compete

So the dream scenario did not play out the Syracuse women's basketball team got decimated by UConn, just like everyone else.
It doesn't even make sense to analyze the game, because in a 31-point loss, 1 or 2 or 10 different plays wouldn't change the outcome.
But I do wish they had gotten off to a better start and kept it competitive for a while.
I also wish Syracuse's best two players, Alexis Peterson and Brianna Butler, hadn't played their worst games and the worst time, though surely UConn deserves a lot of credit for forcing them into it.
Peterson averaged 24 points per game in the tournament, but had only 11 in this game, on 0-6 from 3-point land. She also had only 1 assist and 4 turnovers.
Butler, who set the national record for most 3-pointers made in a season in the Washington game, added only 1 to her total, shooting 1 of 8 from the field.
But these ladies should be very proud of what the accomplished. They have set all kinds of high-water marks for the program, brought a lot of joy to the Syracuse community and put the program on the map.
Butler, Maggie Morrison and Cornelia aka Corn Fondren are moving on, but Peterson will be joined on next year's team by Isabella Slim, the Day sisters, and possibly Brittney Sykes, who could come back for a 5th season because she played in only 3 games last year after suffering a knee injury.

Hopefully the program will continue to build on the success of this year's team, bringing in more and better recruits and building a national power that can one day compete with UConn.

So You're Saying There's a Chance

Oddsmakers have Syracuse at +4000 in tonight's National Championship game against UConn. That means a $100 bet returns $4000. Also known as 40-1.
So essentially, if the two teams played each other 41 nights in a row, UConn would win 40 times, Syracuse once.
And that seems about right to me. This UConn team is great. They have great players, and they play great together. They have won 3 straight titles and 74 games in a row. Their average margin of victory is 40 points. They've played all the toughest teams and beat them, no, slaughtered, them all.
So that's the case for the 40 games, what about that other one time?
If tonight is to be that 2.5% chance come true, here's how it could happen.
UConn is thin, they really only play 7 players, and one of them, Katie Lou Samuelson broke her foot in the National Semifinal and will not play.
Syracuse is a great pressure team that routinely plays 9 players. It will be hard to press successfully with Moriah Jefferson running the point, but they need to force some turnovers and wear out UConn.
On offense Syracuse needs to attack the basket to draw fouls, and also to kick out for open 3s. Syracuse made 12 out of 33 3-pointers against Washington (36%) and 14-30 (47%) against Tennessee. They will need to shoot at least 40% to have a chance.
So if they can do that, press effectively, wear out UConn and get them in foul trouble, while shooting the lights out from distance, they may have a chance.

Payback's a Bitch

All the North Carolina fans are bemoaning their bad luck today, losing the National Championship game on a buzzer-beater. How awful!
And yes, it must be heartbreaking and if it happened to Syracuse I would still be in my bed, under the covers, cry-bernating, but, remember the game was tied. If Villanova didn't win it there, it was going to overtime, a roughly 50.50 proposition.
It has got to be a lot worse to lose a championship where you actually have a lead with less than a second to play!
And a miracle 3 beats you.
That actually happened. And in this case North Carolina was the WINNING team.
1994 women's NCAA tournament, UNC (in white) vs. Louisiana Tech (in light blue).



That was Charlotte Smith with the game-winner and if you keep the video rolling you will see a young Marion Jones at the bottom of the pile.

So as you see, North Carolina really has nothing to complain about.
Live by the title-winning, buzzer-beating 3, die by the title-winning, buzzer-beating 3.

That One Will Be Replayed Forever

After Northern Iowa's amazing buzzer-beater from halfcourt beat Texas, Nails and I were talking about the greatest buzzer-beaters in tournament history.

We discussed some amazing early-round shots, like Bryce Drew vs. Mississippi, but decided that for the best ever the stakes needed to be higher.
NC State's Lorenzo Charles won the title with a buzzer beat in 1983, but it was a weird dunk, putback type of thing.
So we decided the best might be Christian Laettner vs. Kentucky.
Until tonight!

The first 2395 seconds of this game were fun and well-played. Some of those moments would have been memorable and remarkable, were it not for what happened in the final 5 seconds.

First Marcus Paige (who got his team to this point with an amazing steal under the basket, which I still don't understand how he was able to pull off) nailed an amazing off-balance, double-pump, closely-guarded 3, to tie it.



But Villanova was able to remain calm and execute a perfect play, Ryan Arcidiacono, with a dribble up the court and the dish to Kris Jenkins, who calmly stepped into the shot and nailed the game-winner as time expired.



It's hard to criticize because Villanova just made the perfect play, and because the game was tied so UNC had to defend the paint too, but I don't think Berry did a good enough job of slowing down Arcidiacono, and I think Isaiah Hicks made a terrible mistake by backing up, giving Jenkins the space he needed to get the shot off.

Normally, I reject the instant-classification of games and players, as I try my best to remember what happened in the past, but there is no doubt, zero doubt, that this is the best ending in the history of the National Championship game.

It Wouldn't Have Mattered

Jim Boeheim was praised for changing his strategy against Virginia, shifting to a press and turning the game around.
He made no such chance against North Carolina, but even if he had, it wouldn't have mattered.

All week leading up to this game, I was hopeful that Boeheim would use a different version of zone, essentially packing it in around UNC's excellent interior players and daring their suspect guards to shoot over the top.
Clearly, that didn't happen in the first half as UNC missed every single 3-pointer (0-11) and made almost every inside shot.
I was begging for him to change their approach and set up Cooney and Gbinije basically at the free throw line, and keep the wings down on the baseline instead of having them jump out to contest.
But when Syracuse finally started to make a run, scoring 10 straight points to turn 57-40 into 57-40, Marcus Paige nailed an open 3.
And every time Syracuse tried to get back in, UNC nailed another one. Missed their first 12, made 4 of the next 5.

They just ran into a better team playing better.
But we will always remember and appreciate the great tournament run they went on.
I hesitate to call it a great season because it was actually so bad they almost didn't even make the tournament. But four great games in a row at the right time is very special.
As are Trevor Cooney and Michael Gbinije.

And with Malachi Richardson and Tyler Lydon, I feel a little more optimistic about the remainder of Jim Boeheim's tenure as the head coach.
If only he would continue with the defensive adjustments.

2016 Baseball Season Predictions

NL East: Washington Nationals
NL Central: Chicago Cubs
NL West: San Francisco Giants
NL Wild Cards: New York Mets, St. Louis Cardinals
NLCS: Washington Nationals over Chicago Cubs

AL East: New York Yankees
AL Central: Cleveland Indians
AL West: Houston Astros
AL Wild Cards: Toronto Blue Jays, Los Angeles Angels
ALCS: Houston Astros over New York Yankees

World Series: Washington Nationals over Houston Astros

NL MVP: Bryce Harper
AL MVP: Mike Trout
NL Cy Young: Max Scherzer
AL Cy Young: David Price
NL Rookie of the Year: Corey Seager
AL Rookie of the Year: Byron BuxTON
NL Manager of the Year: Dusty Baker
AL Manager of the Year: Terry Francona
NL Comeback Player of the Year: Jose Fernandez
AL Comeback Player of the Year: Yu Darvish

Song of the Week

"Award Tour" - A Tribe Called Quest
Phife Dawg passed away last week at the age of 45.
I was never a huge Tribe fan, but I acknowledge their place in hip-hop history.

I chose this song for the line "I never let a statue tell me how nice I am."
I take it to be his way of saying he doesn't care about a Grammy Award.
But if you extrapolate that out, you can derive a deeper meaning: "don't let other people influence how you feel about yourself."
Shit is deep.

It's Really Real

Just because I was sure that I had fallen asleep on the couch when Syracuse trailed Virginia by 15 points with 9 minutes to go and dreamed what happened next, I decided to go back and watch that final stretch again.

And since Texas A&M's epic comeback against Northern Iowa deserved a breakdown in its own post, this one did as well.

Syracuse score listed first, throughout:

9:47 left: Michael Gbinije hits two free throws. 39-51
9:31: London Perrantes hits deep 3, his 6th of the game, taps his forehead. 39-54

9:17: Trevor Cooney drives, dishes to Tyler Roberson for a dunk. 41-54
8:52: Malcolm Brogdan drives, misses, Tyler Lydon rebounds
8:46: Trevor Cooney drives, gets a layup. 43-54
8:33: Virginia breaks the press, Darius Thompson hits a layup, 43-56
8:23: Malachi Richardson gets fouled, hits 2 free throws, 45-56
8:17: Virgina breaks the press but Anthony Gill travels under the basket
7:56: Richardson drives and hits one over Gill, 47-56
7:50: Gbinije strips Thompson, Thompson falls, takes out Lydon
7:37: Richardson drives & misses, Roberson fouled going for rebounds, makes both free throws 49-56
7:31: Virginia breaks the press, Devon Hall gets easy layup, 49-58
7:13: Richardson hits step-back 3. 52-58
7:05: Perrantes throws bad pass, Richardson knocks it out off Brogdan
6:51: Tyler Lydon hits a 3, 55-58
6:40: Brogdan drives, misses
6:37: Gbinije streaks full-court for layup, 57-58
6:00: Perrantes misses floater
5:50: Richardson knifes through the lane for a layup, 59-58
5:26: Brogdan drives, shot blocked by Lydon
5:18: Perrantes fouled by Roberson
5:00: Perrantes missed 3
4:38: Richardson face up for another 3, dons the 3-goggles, 62-58

3:56: Hall missed shot, Lydon taps rebound to Cooney
3:27: Richardson drives on Brogdan, misses, Roberson taps rebound off the glass, Richardson grabs it, fakes Tobey and goes up for a layup, 64-58

And there you have it. That's what a 6-minute, 25-4 run looks like when you break it down.

And this is what it looks like when you edit it all together in one 3-minute video:



11 possessions (12 if you include the Gbinije free throws) and Syracuse scored every time, missing only one shot.
Over that same span, Virginia made 2 out of 7 shots and turned it over 3 times (the travel, the bad pass, and the strip steal)

Now let's get back to Boeheim. He absolutely deserves a ton of credit for pushing the envelope and going into the zone. But (and it's not just me saying this, Charles Barkley said the same thing) you have to imagine they could have won more games over the years had he been as willing to abandon his game plan and try something different.

Also, the players play. Yes, he surely coached them to drive to the basket, but he couldn't have coached them to hit those 3s. The players did that. And they needed every single one of those plays to win this game and make the Final Four, where it may require more coaching strategy, and more incredible play to beat North Carolina and eventually take home the title.